Crash & Burn
by TwiStarJunkie
Summary: When Bella Swan moves to Forks and runs into the Cullens, she finally feels like she's home, but the absence of one proves to trouble her. Edward, now the black sheep of the family, lives life plagued by drug addiction. Could Bella be his saving grace?
1. Prologue

Prologue

My palm was sweaty and my knuckles were white as I gripped my cell phone in my hand, pulling at my hair with the other. _Why the fuck isn't he answering his damn phone?_

_Have the symptoms already taken over? Has he finally reached his breaking point?_

I listened as the ringing droned on in my ear, going straight to voicemail each time. I'd already left countless messages, and I needed a new tactic. I had to get to him; he shouldn't be alone at a time like this. I remembered all too well how it was for me when I'd gone through the same hell, and I would never have wished that upon anyone.

My stomach clenched and my heart dropped as the tears that had built in my eyes began to fall. I would never forgive myself–or them–if something happened before I could reach him. I had one last option, and as desperately as I didn't want to use it, I had no other choice. I hurriedly dialed the number into my phone and prayed that they'd pick up.

"Calling to bitch me out more, Bells?"

"Cut the shit, Emmett. I need to know where the fucking spare key is."

"Oh, what's the matter? My wonderful brother shutting _you_ out now?"

Just the sound of his obnoxious, hateful voice made my blood boil. "I swear to God, one day you're going to regret everything you've done and said about him, and you'll be begging him for forgiveness. And to answer your question, no, he's not shutting me out. He wouldn't do that, not to me. Something's wrong, and if I don't get to him I'm going to lose my fucking mind," I sobbed, my voice panicked and stomach sick.

There was a long pause of silence before the dick spoke again. "I don't know why you care so damn much about him. Why the fuck are you defending him all the time, knowing what he's done to this family?"

"_God dammit, Emmett! I don't have time for your bullshit! Do you know where the spare key is or not?"_ I shouted into the phone, having had enough.

"I have the key, Bella, but I don't think you should go alone. If he's under the influence…"

"I _am_ going alone, Emmett. None of you fucking deserve to be anywhere near him, and besides, I know how to handle him if he is; I've fucking been where he is right now. And he won't hurt me; he has more control than any of you give him credit for, and that's not the kind of person he is. Anyway, I'm on my way. When I get there, you'll give me the key and let me go. I don't want any shit."

Without giving him a chance to say anything back, I snapped my phone shut and grabbed my keys from the bar before racing outside to my car.

As I sped toward Emmett and Rose's, I continuously dialed his number, hoping to God that he would answer.

But he never did.

Each time I heard his soft voice through his voice mail, my tears fell harder and the fear settled deep in my stomach, eventually rising to my throat.

When I pulled up to their house, I jumped out and found Emmett waiting on his front porch, arms crossed over his chest. "Why didn't you ever mention that you were an addict?"

I wanted to fucking hit him. I'd had my quota of Emmett's stupid questions and the concerned faces of the rest of the Cullen clan; I couldn't stand anymore. "Do you really think that I would volunteer that information after seeing how you've treated him because of his addiction? None of you have given him the fucking time of day. None of you have even tried to understand what he's going through, and I know for a fucking fact that none of you ever asked for his side of the story about what happened two years ago. _So back the FUCK off_," I spat at him as I snatched the key from his hand and ran back to my car.

The rain pelted against my windshield as I pushed my old Ford pickup at a furious pace through Forks. It felt like I was in a race against time. I had to reach him before he gave in and had another fix. The angry words his family had spewed at him over dinner could have very easily ruined all the progress he'd made in the past day or so. It had been his decision to try and get clean, but that was when he assumed he'd have their support. The withdrawal symptoms had already begun to set in before dinner, and I was fairly certain without seeing him that they had multiplied in intensity since his abrupt departure from his parents' house.

Nearly forty-five minutes had passed before I finally pulled into his drive. All the lights were out, but my heart faltered at seeing his Volvo haphazardly parked. At least I knew he was here. I jumped out of my pick-up, grabbing my purse and the key Emmett had given me.

My body was one big ball of nerves as I approached the front door, not knowing what to expect. I pounded my fists against the door, screaming his name. Getting no response, I took in a deep breath, entered the key into the lock and felt my heart freeze, not sure what I would find on the other side of the door.

I very slowly eased the door open, and opened my eyes to his darkened entryway. There wasn't a sound to be heard and that alone frightened me. I kept walking, cautiously looking over my shoulder and around every corner so as not to startle him when I found him. The soles of my shoes squeaked against the smooth marble tiles of the floor as I stepped into the kitchen. I had yet to see anything out of the ordinary. My heart was beating at a fast pace, and I could feel my body trembling with nerves as the adrenaline coursed through my body.

After finding nothing in the kitchen, I made my way into the living room and as I rounded the side of the couch, my heart slammed into my throat. There, on the floor next to his crumpled body, was his 9mm. His hair, skin, and shirt were completely saturated in a cold sweat, and he was breathing unevenly. I ran to the edge of his coffee table, falling to my knees beside him. But as I focused on the weapon beside him, there was a sickening feeling growing in my stomach. What had he been about to do with that gun?

I was brought out of my panicked thoughts as his muscles spasmed violently, causing him to let out an anguished cry and curl up into a fetal position. I wiped my nose on my sleeve and hooked my arms under his armpits, pulling him with all my might into my lap. He groaned and started to weakly fight against me until I placed my lips against his dampened forehead and ran a hand through his hair.

"Shh, Edward…I'm here," I cried. "You're going to be okay."

"B-Bella, you s-shouldn't b-be here. Y-you d-don't need to see m-me like th-this," he stuttered with a strained voice that sounded alien to the velvety softness I was used to hearing.

"I'm not leaving you, dammit," I told him, clutching him tightly to me. I felt him fist his hands in my shirt and struggle to pull himself closer. I watched as his eyes fluttered open, bloodshot and glazed with the excruciating pain he was under as he looked at me.

Tears fell heavily down his cheeks as he struggled to swallow, his eyes pleading with me. "Help me, please," he cried out hoarsely.

"I will, I promise," I whispered, brushing a few strands of damp hair from his forehead. "I need to know, Edward…what were you doing with that gun?"


	2. Chapter 1

**Sorry for the wait on this chapter! Just so there's no confusion, the prologue was set at a later point in the story. **

**Due to the limited space given for a summary, I'm posting the full summary here. **

**Summary: **After the death of a loved one, Bella Swan uproots her life in Louisiana and relocates to her childhood hometown of Forks, Washington. Her old friends, Alice and Emmett Cullen, help her get settled in. When Bella is reintroduced to Alice and Emmett's brother, Edward, she isn't prepared for the inexplicable draw to him. Will she be able to tear down his walls and mend his ties to his family without losing herself in the process?

Edward Cullen lives life in a severe depression plagued by drug addiction and violence, with no way out. Being the black sheep of a family that hates him and no one to turn to, his life is tipped on its axis by stubborn yet beautiful Isabella Swan. Can he manage to keep her at arms length or will he crash and burn?

**There will be scenes of drug abuse, depression, and strong sexual content (later in the story)**

**If you are sensitive to any of these issues, it may be best that you not read. **

**BPOV**

"Bells, are you sure you're doing the right thing?" Charlie hollered at me from across the house.

I ignored his question. There was no need for asking, as he knew better than anybody why I was moving the fuck out of this town. Charlie was my father and Chief of Police of Lake Arthur, Louisiana, a small town of just less than three thousand people. There were no secrets in this town; you couldn't so much as break wind without everybody and their grandmother hearing about it. And I'm not exaggerating-just ask Old Man Waylon why his old lady forced him to touch up all the paint on their white picket fence.

Let's save Old Man Waylon and his tale for later and move on with my oh-so-interesting life.

Right, I need a fucking drink.

Again, moving on!

After graduating from high school, I began working as Charlie's assistant at the police station, even though it wasn't common for someone in his position to have one. I helped him with his paperwork and handled all of his personal phone calls. I also rode with him on a few minor house calls. I'll just put it out there in simple terms; I was his fucking secretary. Dammit, he was lazy as hell, okay? He only had me handling those things so that he could plop his ass on the couch and watch sports. The job paid me some, but not enough, which was why I also worked at Cowboys, a popular bar an hour away in Lake Charles. I worked to pay my way through my culinary classes at McNeese University, also in Lake Charles. Outside of Charlie, Billy, and Jake, I didn't really have any other friends, so naturally rather than staying in the dorms on campus, I traveled early in the morning to my classes and drove back home to Lake Arthur at nearly three every morning once my shift at Cowboys had ended. My life literally fucking sucked for a good four years. I ran on little to no sleep. But it paid off as I eventually opened my own bakery in the town square.

Anyway, most of the locals had lived here all their lives. Charlie and I, on the other hand, hadn't...obviously. We moved here from Forks, Washington after Charlie was offered a position by his friend, Billy Black. He and my bat shit crazy mother, Renee, had just divorced a few months prior. After having reached wits' end with her and her gold-digging ways, we packed up shop and left. Granted, we'd lived here for the past fifteen years, but that didn't mean that I liked it any more than I did when we first arrived.

Okay, so that's not true. I loved it here. I loved the food, the people were genuinely nice, and Lord, the parties around here were insane. Let me tell you, there's nothing like a couple of Cajuns drunk off their asses. Give 'em a few beers, turn on the zydeco music and watch the fun begin! But the thing I loved most here was the land. Yeah, imagine the look on Charlie's face when I told him that I found solitude while I fished off of the Lacassine Reservoir. He'd looked at me both with pride and confusion, like I'd grown a second head. Something about it was just calming for me; don't judge me. I could spend forever outdoors, which was one reason why I was going to fucking miss this hell hole so much.

What made me start referring to it as a hell hole you ask? Well, that all started two years ago when Billy's son, Jacob, and I began dating. Everything started out great, but I quickly learned about the secret life Jake led behind his father's back. A life that even I wasn't privy to through our fifteen years of knowing one another, but once I was introduced, it wasn't long before I wished I'd never met him. Our relationship was sick, twisted, and completely unhealthy. Sure, I'd loved him at one point, but as with everything else in my life, it went to shit quickly. The only problem was that this time, I got sucked into the dark side of things and nearly lost my fucking life in the process.

See, it turned out that Jake was the go-to drug dealer in Jeff Davis Parish. There wasn't anything out there that he didn't have access to, and his father being on with the police department didn't hurt; if anything, it made it easier for him. Most of what he sold, he managed to steal from the evidence room. The bad part was that Jake had become a genius at forging evidence, pinning it to another unsuspecting local, or sometimes, one of the police department's own. I had never felt right about any of what I had done while I was with Jake, but I was too afraid of what would happen to me if we ever went our separate ways. That, and I loved him too much. Or at least, I thought I did.

I went from being daddy's little girl and owning a successful bakery on Main Street to being a full-fledged drug addict. I'd made the mistake of trying heroin one night after Jake had promised me that he'd never make me do it again. At the time, I was so in love with him, he could have asked me to jump off of a fucking bridge and I'd have probably done it. Within a month's time, I needed a fix of heroin at least three times a day. I hated myself during that time of my life. I lost my bakery due to my irresponsible handling of the finances. I had begun dipping into the account I'd set up for my bakery to pay for my drugs. One would think that being the girlfriend of a drug lord would entitle me to certain privileges...Fuck no, not with Jake.

I'd literally thrown my dream away for a thirty minute high. I was nearly unrecognizable. My normal weight of a hundred and fifteen pounds dropped to a startling ninety pounds. My face hollowed out and literally looked skeletal, as did the rest of my body. My skin, which had always been healthy, became splotchy and marred with blemishes, and my teeth began to suffer. Thankfully, I'd managed to get myself off of the drug before my teeth began breaking from the effects of the drug use and I was able to get what problems I _did _have fixed. I knew that I'd fucked my life over and all of the dreams I'd ever had. That's when my feelings for Jake began to dwindle. I knew I couldn't put all of the blame on him, but he never should have pressured me into trying the drugs, knowing how powerful and highly addicting they were.

In a drug deal gone sour four months ago, Jake was shot to death in the old warehouse out past the boardwalk where he had conducted most of his dealings. All of his boys that usually did the dirty work for him–Sam, Quil, Embry, and Paul–had turned against him in favor of the new buyer, Laurent Plaxton. I'd never met the man, but I'd heard of him from Charlie. Apparently, they'd been searching for the guy for a while. Laurent didn't know about me, at least as far as we knew he didn't, but Jake's guys did and that left a horrible feeling in my gut. I never got along with Paul, as he was one of the world's biggest assholes. He was a womanizer and a beater. I saw many battered women leave him. I never turned him in because had I have done that I knew Jake and the boys would have nailed me to the wall. I also made the mistake of confronting Paul once. I told him that I knew he was gunning to take over Jake's position in the drug ring around Jeff Davis Parish. Of course, he ran and told Jake about it. Needless to say, Jake reamed me for a good couple of hours about my ridiculous accusations. Those accusations turned out not to be so ridiculous after all. From what I heard, Paul was now Laurent's right hand man.

Charlie put me up in a safe house for a while, but the nightmares and grief over Jake's death were too much. I became so paranoid that I stole one of the guns from Charlie's gun safe at home just so I would have something to protect myself, should anything happen. I wasn't sleeping, and, when it came to Charlie's attention that I was going through withdrawals from heroin, he sent me off to a rehabilitation center in Los Angeles. It had taken me a little over two months to get myself back to a place where I felt I could move on with my life, leaving Jake and the hell he had brought to it behind me. Getting clean was a long, hard process, but I was happier than I'd been in years. I wasn't naïve enough to believe that two months was all it would take before I'd be able to leave my addiction behind forever. Every day was a struggle. The urge to fall back and relapse would always be there, only now I knew how to fight the urges off and had ways of distracting myself from such thoughts when they surfaced: such as playing the guitar and sketching. I'd dabbled at painting for a while, but after realizing my artwork was the equivalent to that of a three year old child, I gave it up.

A lot of Charlie's skepticism regarding my picking up and leaving for Forks revolved around my addiction. He feared that I would get caught up in the wrong crowd back in Washington, that I would relapse. I tried to reassure him and told him countless times that he could come and visit me whenever he wanted and that I would call him regularly to check in. I was sure that no matter how much I tried to convince him, he wouldn't believe me, and honestly, I didn't blame him. In fact, I understood it.

My main reason for leaving and the reason Lake Arthur now represented something evil in my life was because no matter where I looked, I was faced with memories of Jake. Recollections regarding town gossip about what I was seen doing last and with whom. And most of all, I saw how badly I'd screwed up my life. Thanks to Charlie and the amazing people out in Los Angeles, I'd gotten my life back, and I had more determination than ever not to lose my way again.

"Ignoring me now, huh?" Charlie questioned as I turned to see him leaning against my door frame. His arms were folded across his chest. His mustache made the frown on his lips that much more intimidating as his stern brown eyes zeroed in on me; I knew the look he was giving me as I'd grown up learning it well. Charlie was disappointed in me.

"I just don't want to keep having the same conversation, Dad. That's all," I sighed, setting the handful of things I was packing away down on the bed. "I need to get away from here. There's nothing here for me but bad memories."

"What about the fishing? The cooking festivals? Bells, there's loads of stuff you used to love around here."

"I never said there wasn't! But what kind of life could I possibly lead here? Billy still blames me for Jake's death, and I can't even go to damn Tiger Mart without people talking," I hissed angrily, lifting my hand in the air out of frustration. "The only thing I'm good for around here is dragging your name through the mud, and I won't do that to you anymore."

"So, you won't be coming back?" he questioned, absurdity laced in his tone.

I sighed heavily, already having had my fucking fill of the same conversation with him. Don't get me wrong, I love Charlie. If it weren't for him and his guidance regarding my journey with rehabilitation, I'm not sure I would ever have recovered and gotten clean. He had been the best father he knew how to be for me. When he and Renee first split and we moved to Louisiana, things were hard in the beginning. We basically lived paycheck to paycheck, barely scraping by for a few months until his salary from the police department started to build. Charlie put half of his check back in a savings account for the first couple of months so that we would have something to fall back on should a financial crisis ever come about.

"Of course I'll come back to visit, Dad. Please, try to remember that I'm not moving away from _you. _I just…I need to get out of here. Right now, everything is still too fresh, and I need to build a life for myself. I'm twenty-eight years old! I love you, but I can't live under your roof forever. I need to go out there and make something of myself again. A fresh start, ya know?"

"I guess so. I'm just gonna miss you so much, Bells," he murmured nearly inaudibly, pulling at my heart. I hated to leave him alone, but I had to do this.

For me.

That night, I made us lasagna with plenty to store away as leftovers for Charlie when I left. The good Lord knew that man couldn't so much as make a grilled cheese without fucking it up. Would I worry about him while I was gone? Of course I would, but I knew that he'd be okay. Despite how much Billy now hated me, I knew he'd look after Charlie, him along with nearly everyone else in this town.

As I lay down to go to sleep that night, my mind raced with thoughts of what I wanted to do with my life once I got there. I knew I'd need to scope out the bakeries, and I'd have to look elsewhere if none were hiring. It would be hard to go from having owned my own shop to working at one as an employee under someone else's watch, but I made my bed, and I was just going to have to suck it up and lie in it. I would save what I could and hopefully one day, I'd be able to open up a shop of my own again. It was probably stupid of me to move without having secured a job first, but that only made me realize how truly desperate I was to get the hell out of here. Thankfully, with what I had saved already, plus Charlie's help, I would have a few months to find a job and still pay my bills. I'd found a small house between Forks and Port Angeles with the help of an old childhood friend, Alice, whom I'd reconnected with on Facebook. I'd kept in touch with Alice through letters until my junior year of high school. I became too busy and just didn't have time to keep our correspondence going anymore. About a month after creating my Facebook, Alice found me and the rest was history. Of course, I never would have signed up for the damn thing had Jake and his gang of goons not have pressured. Anyway, I knew the house would need some work, but I was all about fixing it up the way I wanted-giving it a new start, along with myself.

**C & B**

The next morning came much too soon with an even earlier start. I woke bright and early at four in the morning to the sound of an obnoxious fucking owl perched outside my bedroom window. After having gone to bed at one, I wasn't in any mood for morning chit chat, but apparently Charlie thought differently. From the moment I stumbled into the bathroom to wash my face, he'd been up my ass yapping about the temperature and weather conditions in every major city from here to Forks. By the time I'd finished up in the bathroom, made it to the kitchen and sat down with a cup of coffee, he'd moved on to informing me of all the latest developments in each of the cases he was working on down at the station.

My head was pounding and this was so _not _how I'd planned on starting my day. I had hoped to at least sleep until eight, regardless of how long of a drive I had ahead of me. It was going to be a two day trip, possibly three depending on how many times I stopped for gas and overnight stays in hotels. There was no way I could pull off a forty-two hour trip in one shot-maybe in my younger days, but definitely not now. I almost wished I had actually taken Alice up on her offer to fly down here and drive back up with me for company. Key word: _almost._

As I tuned Charlie out, I became distracted with my memories from long ago. During the thirteen years we lived in Forks, my life was bliss; well, it was when we weren't dealing with Renee's psycho bitch ways. The Cullens were a huge part of my life, and in some ways still were. Carlisle and Esme were old friends of Charlie's from college, and so, as a result of their strong friendship, Alice and I were basically joined at the hip from birth. Her brothers, Emmett and Edward, were also extremely close to me; so much so that I can remember, back when I was a child, going to the store with Esme and my gang and being mistaken for one of their siblings.

Alice was like the sister I'd never had, but always wanted, and Emmett…well he was Emmett. He and Edward lived up to the role of older brothers, as they were fiercely protective of Alice and I, always there when we needed them, but were also there to be a big pain in our asses. We were forever finding frogs they'd caught at the creek that ran behind their house in Alice's bed or my sleepover bag. There was never a visit to their house that went without a prank of some kind being pulled. And holidays…oh my! The four of us _stayed _in trouble. Emmett had been the bigger, older brother–by two years–and I truly missed him. Hell, I missed them all. Edward…Edward was different. He'd always been much quieter and more reserved than Emmett, regardless of all the times he'd picked on Alice and me. I knew, even back then, that Emmett had put him up to it. In fact, the only time I ever spent with Edward was when Alice and Emmett were around because when it was just us, he'd lock himself in his room.

Until everything in my life began to change.

When I turned eleven, things between Charlie and Renee had begun to get bad, and I basically lived at Carlisle and Esme's. I had overheard a conversation between my dad and Carlisle when he'd dropped me off to spend the weekend. Of course I was too young to understand what any of it meant back then, but long story short, Renee had been having an affair for a few years with Mr. Newton. Just thinking about it now sent bile to my throat because, even though I didn't actually know Mr. Newton all that well, I could remember his son, Mike, and all the hell he'd caused Alice and I at school-that is until Emmett and Edward scared him off.

Once Charlie left that night and everyone went to bed, I went into the home library to cry. I could remember feeling confused and not understanding what was going on with my parents. I was scared. Edward had gotten up for a drink of water and, from the way he told it, heard noises coming from the library. He found me there that night, and even at the young age of eleven, had held me while I cried. He tried to comfort me, and it worked for the most part, but nothing could put a stop to the turmoil that my parents' fighting had created within me. After that, we'd become a little closer, and Edward started to open up to me a bit more. In fact, we had even pulled a few pranks on Emmett.

When the news came that Charlie and Renee were divorcing and that I would be moving away, I was devastated. I literally had to say goodbye to the only family I'd ever known, and the Cullens were equally upset. Alice and I had cried in Esme's lap for hours the day I left. Charlie had allowed me to stay overnight the night before while he and a few of the guys from the police station in Forks packed and loaded all of our belongings into the U-Haul. He didn't want to rip me away from them, but looking back, I can say that now I understood his motives then; I was doing the same thing now. Edward and Emmett hadn't really said much until the dreadful moment of me leaving was upon us. Emmett had hugged me tightly, telling me that I'd always be his little sister, which had only made me cry more. Alice was so inconsolable that Carlisle had to take her back into the house to keep from making it any harder.

Edward had stood before me, kicking at the gravel in the driveway with his hands tucked in his pockets. I didn't understand why he wouldn't look at me or why he wouldn't so much as utter a simple goodbye, so to say he'd hurt my feelings was a huge understatement. As I glanced at Charlie, still rambling on about who knows what, I laughed a little at myself, remembering vividly how I had stamped my foot and ran back to the police cruiser to hide from embarrassment at my childish outburst.

I hadn't spoken to Emmett or Edward since the day we left Forks. Although I'd kept in touch with Alice, she'd only ever mentioned Emmett when we spoke. Anytime I asked about Edward, she would quickly change the subject, so I wasn't sure what to think. I didn't even know if he was still alive. I hated to think that something may have happened to him, but did I even have any right to care anymore? It wasn't like I had made any attempt through the years to see how he was doing. I supposed that I would find out what happened to Edward soon enough.

"Bells? Isabella Marie, are you even listening to me?" Charlie's voice boomed, making me wince as my head pounded.

I shook out of the fog of thoughts I'd been lost in and took a sip of my now cold coffee. "I'm sorry, Dad. I was just thinking."

"Thinking?" he questioned with an arched brow, disbelievingly. "About what? Or do I even want to know?"

"Just remembering how hard it was leaving all those years ago. When was the last time you talked to Carlisle and Esme?"

Charlie let out a heavy sigh as he leaned back in his chair, lifting his arms above his head and twining his hands behind his head. "Ahhh geez, Bells. I guess the last time I talked to Carlisle was a few months ago. I told him that you were moving back, ya know."

"Well I would be surprised if he didn't already know before you told him. Alice is his daughter and, even to this day, can't keep a secret to save her life."

"He's desperate to see you, Bells; Esme is too. I know you're meeting with Alice at your new place, but have you touched base with Emmett or Edward?"

"Dad, I haven't heard from either of them since we moved. You…you haven't told Carlisle about m-me, have you?" I questioned, my headache forgotten only for a moment.

"No. That's your story to tell, Bells. Does Alice know?"

"No. I don't know if I'll ever tell her either," I told him, shaking my head. The conversation was starting to venture into an area I didn't want to visit, so I quickly stood and headed back into the kitchen.

I began washing the few dishes that were in the sink when I felt Charlie come up behind me.

"You know, you have nothing to be ashamed of. If anything, you should be proud of yourself for beating it, Bells."

"Dad, I know you're trying to help, and it means a lot to me to know you see it that way, but I just…I can't talk about it right now. My head hurts, and that damn owl kept me up all damn night. I don't see why you haven't shot that bastard yet."

"Hey, I just might owe that so-called bastard now. I'm sorry your head hurts, but thanks to him waking you up, I was allowed more time with you before you head out."

"Gee, thanks." I laughed dryly before heading back upstairs and getting ready for the long day ahead of me.

**~C & B~**

By ten o'clock, I was on the road. I had taken my old '59 pickup in for a complete tune-up yesterday, so I was fairly confident that I'd be able to make it to Forks without a problem. I would be staying with Alice for the first few days while I took some time to furnish my home. I literally had nothing aside from a little kitchenware, clothes, and toiletries. Everything else was left behind at Charlie's. Once I hit the interstate, I picked up my phone from my purse beside me and dialed Alice.

"Hey, Belly Bells! Are you on the road yet? Did Charlie have a hard time saying goodbye? How's the traffic?" Alice's shrill voice screamed on the other end, causing my head to throb, despite the Aleve I'd taken a few hours ago.

"_Jesus, Alice! _Okay a few things first: one, lose the nickname; it's Bella. Two, how the hell are you so damn chipper? And three, ask me again…_one question at a time! _I have a pounding headache."

"Uh oh, hangover?"

"I wish that were the case, but no. A damn owl decided to perch itself right outside my window last night, and then, Charlie talked my ear off for hours this morning."

"Was he okay saying goodbye?"

"About as good as he could be. Dad's never been one for showing a lot of emotion, but he was pretty pitiful."

"So you'll be here on Tuesday?"

"That's the plan. I guess it just depends on the traffic, weather, and how many times I stop. I wish I could just make the trip in one shot, but that would be insane."

"Bella, if you hadn't been so stubborn, I'd be driving with you remember?" she reminded me, frustration in her tone.

"Alice, you're already doing enough. Are you still sure you don't mind me staying with you for a few days? I don't want to impose."

"You're kidding me, right? I haven't seen you in fifteen years, girl. If Jazz has a problem with it, which he won't, then he can go stay with Emmett."

Jazz was Jasper, Alice's boyfriend of two years. They'd moved in together about six months ago, and all I knew was that she was head over heels in love with him and that he was a child psychologist.

"Speaking of Emmett, does he know about me moving back?"

"Not quite," she giggled menacingly.

"Oh hell, Alice, what did you do?" I groaned.

"Nothing! I just told him that I needed him to help me move a friend in this weekend, and being that he lives for that kind of stuff, he agreed. He just has no idea that said friend is you. Emmett is going to freaking flip out, Bella. He's missed you so much! We both have."

_Both? Now's as good a time as any._

I took a deep breath after a few seconds of silence. "Will Edward be there?"

"Okay," she said quietly, which was odd for her. "Bella, I know that you've picked up on my evasiveness when the subject of Edward comes up, but I don't want to explain anything to you on the phone. Just…trust me when I say that things have changed. Edward isn't Edward anymore, okay? I promise I'll tell you more later, but no…he won't be here."

_Edward isn't Edward anymore? What the fuck does that even mean?_

"He _is _alive though, right?" I said maybe a little louder than I meant to.

"Oh, my God! Yes! I didn't realize that I'd led you to believe he wasn't….I'm sorry. Well, he's alive in the physical sense I guess. Dammit, I can't do this on the phone. Listen, don't stay anywhere too shady overnight. Make sure the hotel is at least a three star, don't pick up hitchhikers, and keep those damn doors locked at all times. If you need to talk to me, call me…don't you dare text while driving."

_Did she take a fucking breath in all of that?_

"Fuck, Alice! Chill out! How many energy drinks have you had?" I laughed, taking a drink of my Dr. Pepper.

"None."

_Not fucking possible. _

"Coffee?"

"Nope. Nothing but water. Why?"

Oh, dear God! I was going to be staying with the fucking Energizer bunny. Between the owl, Charlie, and now Alice, someone up above was laughing their cheery fucking asses off, and when I found that asshole…it was on!

**A/N: So what did ya think? I hope it's enough to keep you interested! The next chapter will probably be up next week as I need to work on an update for BE.**

**If you liked it, please leave some love! **

**~T~**


	3. Chapter 2

**BPOV**

Someone please tell me why the fuck I ever thought enlisting the crack fairy's help in moving was a good idea.

Seriously!

Who the hell wakes up at five in the morning just to give a wake-up call to someone who didn't even freaking want it to begin with?

Alice, apparently.

I had been driving for twenty hours straight before giving up and stopping in for a night cap at a hotel in Portland, Oregon last night. I made the mistake of texting Alice about where I was. She called this morning and actually had the fucking audacity to bark–well, for her size, yap is more fitting–at me about my supposed poor morning attitude. I don't think she expected me to bite back. Even Charlie knows I'm not approachable until I've had my coffee. Come to think of it, he didn't think of that the morning I left, either.

But anyway, aside from everyone setting out to interrupt my sleep, I was back on the road headed for Forks, which was, thankfully, only four hours away. Despite all my griping about Alice, I really was excited to see her…as long as she didn't break up with Jasper and decide to move in with me once my house was ready. While I knew I would enjoy reconnecting with old friends, that wasn't what this move was about. It was about finding myself again and making a new life. I needed time to be by myself for a while, to focus on me and no one else.

And as if she fucking knew that I was thinking of having _any _time alone, my phone started ringing.

"Yes, Alice?"

"Is that any way to answer your phone, Bella?" she snapped.

"Well, excuse me if I'm a little agitated from my _lack of sleep!_" I bit back, not willing to take any more shit. If she wanted to push, I was damn sure going to push back. "Now, what's up?"

There a moment of silence before she cleared her throat. Apparently, I'd rendered her speechless, and I wasn't certain, but I somehow doubted that happened often. "I was just checking to see if you were on the road yet. Bella, I don't mean to be so pushy about you getting here, really. It's just that Emmett and I have missed you a lot over the years and, although he doesn't know about you coming, we can't wait to see you again."

"See, there you go again, Alice. Emmett and I. It used to be Emmett, Edward, and Alice. Now all of a sudden, he's not even worth mentioning anymore?"

"Bella, I told you that we'll talk about it when you get here," she growled as I heard the deep tone of a man's voice in the background. "Jazz, just put it in the car! I'll meet you there in a minute!"

"So, you're not just bossy with me? That's reassuring," I quipped dryly, as Alice's shrill laughter rung out.

"Sorry, Jazz is being annoying. You'd think by now he'd have learned that doing what I say, and when, is what's best for us. Arguing just causes friction. Call me if you need directions, m'kay?"

"I won't, Alice. I've got my GPS. I'll text when I get to Forks."

"Okay. Toodles!"

As soon as I heard the click from the line going dead, I blared the playlist from my iPod. Who the fuck said _toodles_ anymore? I could already see that we were going to have a love/hate relationship, because there were just too many things that already drove me freaking crazy. Maybe Emmett would end up being the closer friend to me out of the two of them–though I was a bit nervous about meeting his wife, Rosalie. Alice said she could be a real bitch, but that she was good to Emmett and an amazing mother to their two children. It was hard picturing him as a father now, but then again, given how long it'd been since I saw him, I guess it wasn't all that surprising.

Right as I was getting into the groove of the music, my cursed phone rang again; this time blaring the theme song of the Andy Griffith show, alerting me that it was Charlie.

"Hey, Dad," I answered as cheerfully as I could.

"Hey, Bells, where are ya?"

"I'm just leaving Portland and have about another four hours to go."

"Wow, you're making good time. What'd you do? Drive straight through?" He laughed, concern lacing his tone.

"Yeah, pretty much. When you have a pint-sized human Chihuahua constantly calling your phone in an unhealthy, obsessive manner, you tend to do stupid things like that. How are you doing?"

"Eh, I guess I'm doing okay. I went up to the diner this morning for breakfast," he mumbled. I could hear the fatigue in his voice, telling me that he hadn't slept much and was doing just how I suspected; he was miserable and lost. I vowed that as soon as I got the chance, I'd swallow my pride and call Billy, Jake's father, and plead with him to check on Charlie and keep him busy.

Other than the friends I was returning to, Charlie was all I had left. And I knew that if anything were to happen to him, there'd be no saving me from myself. I would let my grief have me, and although I hated to think about it, that would probably be the one thing that could possibly cause me to relapse.

"Dad, you sound tired. Do you at least have plans today?" I sighed as I honked at an idiot that cut me off on the interstate.

"Not really. It's Sunday, Bells. You know I usually take Sunday to relax before going back to work Monday."

"What am I going to do with you, huh? Am I going to have to call Ms. Thibodeaux down the road and have her come give you something to do?"

"You wouldn't," he stated firmly in a low voice.

"Oh believe me, I would. Get your butt up out of that chair and go fishing, go kill something…hell, take up a cooking class! _Anything!_"

"A cooking class?" he reiterated flatly. "You want me to sign up for a cooking class? Bells, you've seen my toast, right?"

"Which is exactly why a cooking class would help you!"

"Okay, I'm hanging up now. Let me know when you get there, and give those kids a hug from me."

"Um, should I be jealous, Dad? Even _I _don't get many hugs from you, and I'm your daughter!" I said jokingly.

"Kind of like you ripping me apart for not cooking for you while you lived with me, huh?" he shot back smugly.

"Oh, for Christ's sake, Dad! I did _not _rip you a new one! I suggested a cooking class, _once, _to get you off your hind end while I'm gone! Gah, I'll call you later, you old fart."

I hung up my phone, laughing at Charlie's insanity. I knew he was just joking with me, but still….sometimes his joking could be irritating as hell.

The closer I drew to Forks, the more I felt the undeniable tears threatening to spill. Though it had been years since I'd been there, and years since I thought of anything related to that place aside from the Cullens, there was so much more I realized I'd missed. And that says a lot, because I was _not _a girl that cried easily; in fact, it took a lot to bring me to that point.

I couldn't exactly narrow it down to one particular thing that was causing me to get so worked up. Whether it was the cloudy skies, the dense forests, or the overall familiarity of being there, something was calling to me...telling me that this was home. I couldn't explain that feeling, and honestly, I didn't fucking like it. While that may confuse some, I didn't like the idea that I was already warming up to the place so much. I used to be the kind of girl that put my heart into something right away, and being with Jake had taught me to learn from that. So, I was moving to Forks with walls it had taken me months to build around my heart, and already, they felt as though they were weakening from just getting close to the fucking town? I think not!

I shook the warm, fuzzy-as-shit thoughts that were begging to be recognized from my head and focused back on the road, blaring Muse as I drove along.

And again, as if she freaking knew, crack fairy called…_again!_

I swear that I was dangerously close to strangling the damn fairy the minute I saw her rather than hugging her!

"Yeah?" I chimed, faking my cheerfulness as I turned down the volume on the radio.

"Have you eaten yet?"

"No, I've avoided stopping as much as possible. Why?"

"Because Emmett just showed up to the house with his monster barbecue grill." Alice bitched.

"Okay, Alice, I thought you said he didn't know who he was helping?"

I was really having trouble seeing why the fact that he'd brought his grill angered her so much. Hell, burgers, or whatever it was he decided to cook, would be perfectly fine with me. I was raging hungry, but there was no way I was going to pull off the interstate for a bite to eat.

"He _doesn't _know! The doofus brought it because _he's _hungry and wants barbecue. Anyway, just don't stop and get anything because there will be plenty. I've already called Mom and Dad, too. They, of course, know you're coming, but I swore them to secrecy from Emmett."

Need I point out how she once again excluded someone? I had no right to judge, as I'd been gone for fifteen years, but family meant everything to me, and knowing that this was going on kind of pissed me off. I wasn't necessarily mad at Alice…just at the whole situation. Until it was explained to me, I was going to drive myself crazy thinking up all kinds of different scenarios that could have caused the rift between Alice and Edward.

"Carlisle and Esme? Alice, I don't want them to have to help move me!" I groaned in frustration. She knew damn good and well that it was supposed to just be her, Jasper, and Emmett. I just wanted it to be our old crew for old time's sake. Having Carlisle and Esme help made me feel horrible. I'm not really sure why that was either.

"Nonsense, Bella," she told me in a firm voice. "We're just moving the boxes and furniture in, and then we'll eat and head back to my place. Tomorrow is when we'll start unpacking your stuff, and I assure you, the 'rents won't be there, okay?"

"Okay, listen here; if you think that you're going to run the show once I get there, you've got another thing coming, twinkle toes. I will wake up when _I _decide. Are we clear?"

"Oh my. We're really going to have to fix this bitter attitude of yours, Bella. You'd think that with all I've done to help you, you'd show a little more appreciation," she huffed angrily.

"Believe me, I _am _grateful. But this business of calling me way before it's time and pretty much laying out exactly what I'm going to do and when is pissing me off. I don't do well with taking orders. I'm not the pushover I once was. I'm sorry if that offends you, Alice, but it's just the way I am now. Be glad I'm warning you, because I usually don't give people that much."

"What happened to you to make you like this?"

"I was shown the dark side of everything. Leave it at that, Alice."

"Okay, okay…I'm sorry, Bella, really. I don't want to push you, and I hope maybe one day you'll feel comfortable enough to tell me about it. And believe me, I know I can be overbearing and controlling. My parents and Emmett give me hell about it all the time. Tell me off like you just did when I get to be too much, but don't expect me to change the way I've always been, because I won't, and I don't want to. Now, are _we _clear?" she answered, finishing with a bit of arrogance.

I smiled to myself at her willingness to go toe to toe with me. "I think we'll be just fine, twinkle toes."

"Don't call me that, dammit!" she whined, her voice still managing to sound like bells.

"Sorry, I like it, and you're stuck with it! I'll be there in about an hour. Bye!"

I hung up and turned my phone off. So help me, God, I wasn't going to have any more fucking interruptions until I pulled up into my driveway.

All the snappy comments I'd made to Alice during my drive here, along with all of the negative thoughts, disappeared the moment I pulled my truck up along the curb of my new home. There, sitting in my front lawn, was Alice looking as beautiful as ever. Her nearly black hair was alarming against her porcelain skin, and everything about her screamed fashionista–from her designer clothing, to her perfect makeup and immaculate hair styling. A few feet away standing over a massive black grill, was who I assumed to be Emmett, as he was monstrous, just as Alice had described, though I couldn't see his face as his back was turned. His fucking biceps alone looked as though they could swallow my head. Beside Alice and beaming brightly at me, were two faces I'd had burned into my memory for years…Carlisle and Esme. My eyes filled with tears as my throat tightened from the emotion. I stepped down out of my truck, and before I'd even rounded the front, Alice's small frame was wrapped around me, her arms around my neck and legs around my waist. I could actually feel her crying against me. We stood that way for a while until I felt four more arms surround us.

I lifted my head from Alice's shoulder to see Carlisle and Esme standing on either side of us, tearfully smiling and hugging us.

"Oh, Bella…I've missed you so much," Alice cried.

"I've missed you too, Alice. And both of you, Carlisle and Esme. I'm so glad you're here."

"Bella, dear, it's our pleasure," Carlisle whispered as I heard a deep voice boom out from behind him.

"Hey dammit, when do I get to join in on the fun? Who the hell are y'all hiding in your little huddle?"

At that moment, Alice released me and slowly moved aside with Carlisle and Esme, finally bringing me face to face with Emmett. He looked me over in confusion for a moment, his blue eyes narrowing in a calculating manner.

"Uh, who the hell are you?" he finally asked, scratching at his head. Carlisle roughly jabbed him in the ribs with his elbow. "_What? _How am I supposed to know who she is?"

"You never were very observant, water head," I quipped with a smile as his eyes widened, then he scowled.

"_Water head? _I don't even fucking know you, and you're calling me names? No one calls me that," he bellowed as Alice placed a hand against his chest and made him take a step back.

"Em, when was the last time someone called you a water head?" she asked pointedly.

I folded my arms over my chest in amusement, waiting for it to dawn on him.

"Oh come on, Al, you know there's only one per…_no fucking way!" _he exclaimed as he roughly moved her out of the way and eyeballed me again. "Cinder-Bella?"

Okay, I would let that go this one time considering I'd used the name he hated against him. While we were growing up, I had always called him "Water head" due to his huge ego, and his odd-ball form back then; his head was just a little too big for his body. In return, he'd dubbed me as Cinder-Bella. To this day, I haven't the slightest fucking clue where the name came from, all I know is I _hated _it. Maybe it was because I had always considered myself to be a tomboy versus a prissy girl that fawned over anything Cinderella related. It was a weak guess, but that's all my frazzled brain could come up with.

"I'll let that one slide, you big oaf." I smirked with narrowed eyes as Emmett's face broke out into a huge grin just before he lunged at me and wrapped his huge arms around my waist, picking me up and swinging me around in circles.

I struggled to breathe through the intense grip he had on me, and the laughter that I couldn't hold down. I could smell the fabulous smoke from the grill on his skin and clothes, and it caused my stomach to loudly grumble. I didn't think anyone had heard that sad display until Emmett came to a standstill and looked at me in shock.

"Was that your stomach?" he exclaimed as I rolled my eyes. Great, I had another Charlie that would be on my ass.

"Well, I haven't eaten since this morning. Someone called me and told me not to stop because her wonderful brother would be cooking."

Emmett whipped his head around to glance at Alice, nearly clocking the side of my head as his eyes sparkled mischievously. "Aw, you called me wonderful, midge?"

"Midge?" I laughed, receiving a glare from Alice as Carlisle and Esme snickered.

"Don't start, Bella. And no, you buffoon, I didn't call you wonderful," she snapped.

"Not too good with sarcasm, are you, Emmett?" I smiled as he looked back at me with a smirk.

"You look amazing, Bella. I can't believe you're actually here. How did all this shit go down without me knowing?"

"Well, I'd be happy to explain it to you, but could you put me down now? It's kind of hard to breathe." I gasped, managing to hit his arm rather firmly.

"Oh, damn, sorry. I'm just so…God, I've missed you."

"Miss you, too, and to answer your question, Alice here found me on Facebook."

"How long ago?" he exclaimed, glaring at her.

"Does it matter? Now you know why I've been on your ass about getting a Facebook account," she bit back.

"Well maybe if you'd have thrown me a bone about Bella, I'd have joined by now!"

"That is such bullshit, Emmett!" Alice screamed back.

They continued on in their banter while I sidestepped them and went over to Carlisle and Esme.

"I can see they haven't changed much." I chuckled, slipping both hands into my back pockets.

"Sadly, not at all; they bicker about everything under the sun. They've actually become quite competitive over the years, and I'm sure that you're their new challenge. You'll have them both begging for your attention."

"Well, I guess I'll just have to make sure I split up my time evenly, then," I told them with a smile.

"How was your trip, dear? You look exhausted," Esme inquired sweetly, brushing some hair from my face.

"I am, but overall it was okay. Alice made sure to keep my phone ringing, so there was never a dull moment. You guys look great, by the way; you haven't changed at all."

"Oh honey, you're too kind." Esme laughed. "How's Charlie?"

"Not too good from what I could tell. The man can't cook, so he'll probably live on take out for a while. Right now, he's angry that I suggested he take a cooking class."

Carlisle laughed loudly, bringing his hand to his face and covering his eyes. "I can see how that would anger him…he's always been stubborn."

"Well you look great, Bella. We're so glad you're finally back home."

I looked to Esme and saw her share a glance with Carlisle before looking at her feet after a shake of his head.

"Where is he?" I questioned, not beating around the bush. Esme's eyes reflected her alarm. She must have thought that I had been oblivious to her and Carlisle's exchange.

"All this time that you two have been in contact, and Alice hasn't told you?" Carlisle asked, disbelievingly.

"No, and it's not from lack of trying. I ask all the time, but she avoids it, dodges the question, or claims we'll talk about it later. I don't want to put a damper on my reunion with you guys, really. It just would have been nice for him to have been here," I told them with a smile. "So tell me, is the food close to ready yet, Emmett? I'm starving over here!" I shouted over my shoulder.

"Yeah, I can tell! I know they feed you like a queen over there, so why are you so damn skinny?" he hollered back before setting down the cooking utensil and running over to me.

"And I normally _do_ eat like a queen. You could stand to learn a thing or two about feeding people, you know? I could've run to McDonald's, had two Big Macs, and been back by now."

"Damn, you're not wasting any time in jumping back on the horse to give me shit, are you?" Emmett said with a laugh as he hooked his arm with mine and dragged me over to the barbecue grill.

"So, I hear you're a daddy and a freaking husband now? What's up with that?" I questioned, playfully bumping my shoulder into his.

"Man, I can't wait for you to meet Rosie. She's a real bad ass, beautiful, and a great mother. I would've brought her and the kids with me today, but I was under the impression we were actually moving you into the house. Midge over there didn't tell me about the change in plans until thirty minutes ago. And believe me, the need to control everything like she did when we were kids hasn't waned _at all_," he said with a loud groan.

"You don't have to tell me that. The fucking crack fairy called me at five this morning to tell me to get on the road. Then, she proceeded to try and pass me orders through the phone, telling me how my day would go and what the full game plan was for tomorrow. I put my foot down, and she actually seemed shocked. I take it that none of you have a backbone where she is concerned, huh?"

"Fuck no, not when it comes to her, Mom, or Rosie anyway. I might as well add you to that list because if you put your foot down with Alice and she actually listened to you, then I'm sure I don't want to be on the receiving end of your anger." He chuckled as he flipped a few burger patties and then stopped, looking over at me in amusement. "Wait…what did you call her?"

"Who? Alice?" I questioned as he nodded. "Crack fairy," I reiterated with a wicked glint that I just _knew _was in my eye. Emmett howled in laughter.

"Oh dude, Jazz is going to fucking love that!" he told me, chuckling a bit more before Alice joined us.

"You're hogging Bella," she complained, placing her hands on her hips and stomping her foot.

"Oh, you have _got _to be kidding me? _This _is how she gets you to give in? She throws a tantrum?" I exclaimed, not believing what I was seeing.

"You'd give in after a while too," he said in his defense, but I just shook my head in amazement that someone his size was intimidated by someone who was only as tall as the top of his stomach.

"Oh trust me, I won't." I stepped away from them at that point to call Charlie.

"I'm still not taking that damn class, Bells," he answered into the phone.

"I'm just letting you know that I made it in. I've been here about thirty minutes, but I kind of got caught up talking to everyone."

"Who's all there?" he asked, and I couldn't put my finger on it, but something didn't sound right in his voice.

"Carlisle, Esme, Emmett and Alice; the only one missing is Edward. I have no idea where he's at, and no one will answer my questions, either."

"Humph. Well, I wish I knew what to tell you, Bells. I haven't the slightest idea, but if I were you, I'd let it go and let them tell you on their own time."

"I know, dad. I'm going to let you go because Emmett's cooking burgers, and it's looking like they're very nearly done. I'll call you later. Love you," I told him.

"Love you, too, Bells. Tell everyone I said hello."

When the line went dead, I pocketed my phone and turned back to see Emmett talking heatedly into his phone. I had hid around the side of the house so I was out of his sight.

"I told you, don't you dare fucking show up here! Do you really want her friend to see that? Christ, Edward, you can't even manage to button your damn clothes correctly, much less walk in a straight fucking line. Do you really think that I'm going to tell you to get in a car, knowing you're fucking high as a kite right now? Mark my words; if I see you pull up, I'm calling the fucking cops." With that, Emmett ended the call and slid the phone into his back pocket.

My stomach plummeted. Was I strong enough to do this? Edward was a drug addict. That thought made me uneasy, but in the end, I decided that there was no way I could live in the same city as him and not go by to at least say hi. I needed to see him for myself.

I quietly walked up beside Emmett. "You still aren't ready to feed me?" I asked as my stomach gurgled.

"Almost. I take it that you overheard some of that?" he asked with a sigh.

"Some, but it's all right. It's not my business. Do you have any advice for me since I'm staying with Alice and Jasper until the house is done?"

"You'll need pillows to sleep on, and then an extra to smother your face with."

I must have looked at him oddly, because he grinned. "Do you really want to hear the midge and her boy toy going at it all hours of the night? They're fucking loud, Bella, trust me."

"Damn," I whined petulantly, because let's be honest, I wanted some damn sleep tonight. Maybe if I spiked Alice's Red Bull with my anxiety meds, she'd crash. Right, like I'd ever really do that, but hey, it would do the trick. "Em, can't I stay with you? Or maybe Carlisle and Esme?"

"Bella, you're kidding yourself if you think staying somewhere else will save you from her," he joked. "You've been gone a long time, cupcake, and you've got a lot to learn regarding how ruthless that little _crack fairy _can be."

"You know, when we were kids, you and Edward were my protectors. What changed?"

"Okay, I could answer that, but you'll think I'm an ass."

"Well, thinking you're an ass was instilled in me long ago, so let's have it. What changed?" I asked with a grin.

"PMS. I may be a big son-of-a-bitch, but I'm not stupid enough to fuck with a woman while she's PMS'ing, and from what I can tell, Alice is well on her way right now."

"Do you have any idea how sick it is that you're talking about your sister raggin'?" I asked in disgust as Emmett scowled at me. "I may have just found ya'll again, but I'm afraid that I'll never understand the way your mind works, Emmett."

"Hey, Bella?" he asked as I began to turn away. "I won't give you my two cents unless you ask, because I know that no matter what I say, you're going to do what you want anyway. But…tomorrow, after we move you in, if you want to see Edward, I'll give you directions there. And don't breathe a word of it to Alice; she'll have my balls in a sling."

I couldn't help myself. I threw my arms around Emmett as my eyes moistened. "Thank you, Emmett."

He simply nodded against me, and one thing was for sure, I never thought that Emmett would be able to read me so well. I needed to be careful with my emotions because the walls I'd built were starting to crumble, and I hadn't even been here a full day.

I was fucked.

"Bella!" Alice's shrill voice shouted to me.

"Yeah?" I called back, as Emmett smirked and mouthed that the burgers were done.

"Come inside and meet Jazz."

I impatiently waited while Emmett placed all the cooked patties on a plate and then raced inside. I walked into the kitchen of the house and found Alice sitting on a huge blanket that had been laid out on the tile floor.

I arched a brow in her direction questioningly.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?" she shrieked.

"Well, I don't know. Maybe it's because you screamed at me to come in here to meet Jasper, then I walk in to find you sitting on this blanket _alone_."

Before she could respond, Emmett came in carrying a couple of bags and setting them on the bar. From the bags he pulled bread, condiments, and a few two-liter bottles of soft drinks. I walked over and set the patties next to the bread just as another guy came walking in. He was tall with chin length, dark blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. I knew this was Jasper as I had seen a few pictures of him on Alice's Facebook page. He went straight up behind Emmett and punched the ever loving shit out of his shoulder.

"Dude, what the fuck? I just cooked a gourmet meal for your ass, and this is how I get repaid?" Emmett griped in mock offense.

"Oh, I'm sorry, sweetheart. Did I hurt your feelings? I'm sorry, come here and let Jazz make it better," Jasper goaded in the thick southern accent Alice had told me so much about. I couldn't help but laugh as Jasper started making kissing noises at him, the last time actually landing on Emmett's cheek.

"You're fucking dead, Jazz! I'm so going to beat your ass!" Emmett roared as he tore away from the counter and took off out of kitchen, chasing Jasper through my house, laughing boisterously the entire time.

"Emmett Cullen, you break my house and you'll be the one getting your ass beat!" I shouted.

I waited a few moments, and just like I suspected he would, I heard him shout from somewhere at the back of the house.

"_Bellaaaaa,"_ he whined. "He started it! Damn, you're always fucking getting me in trouble, you douche!" I heard him chastise Jasper. Alice laughed from her spot on the floor as both men came stumbling into the kitchen–Jasper smug as shit, and Emmett pouting like a two year old.

"Hi, darlin'. I'm Jasper. Pleasure to finally meet you," he introduced himself with a handsome smirk.

"It's nice to meet you, Jasper, but don't think that your charm will work on me. One, you have a woman right behind you to lay it on, and two, the same thing goes for you; you fuck up my house, I fuck up your face? Understood?"

I actually think that Alice thought I was joking. I wasn't. It cost enough moving here and getting the house; the last thing I needed was to add repairs to that list.

Jasper's eyes widened as he swallowed loudly and nodded, just as Emmett slung his big ass arm over my shoulder, kissing my temple loudly with a smack.

"I don't know what happened to the quiet and reserved Bella we knew as kids, but damn if I'm not loving the new you. It's gonna be great having you back." He laughed as Carlisle and Esme walked in.

They both had guilty looks on their faces. Almost like they'd been talking about me or something; whatever it was had my stomach rolling, and _that_ I didn't like. I glanced around the room and saw that Alice was now pissed, Jasper looked stressed and suddenly drained of energy, and Emmett was frowning disappointedly beside me.

"What'd we miss?" Esme asked with a brilliant grin, wiping the guilty expression away like a pro and breaking the silence.

What the fuck was going on, and what the hell was everyone hiding?

**Okay, so this was a bit of an odd chapter, at least for me. I had some trouble with writer's block on this one.**

**If the interactions between the characters seem too cozy after fifteen years, just remember they were like family when she moved.**

**Next chapter: Edward makes his first appearance!**

**Hope you enjoyed it! Leave me some love!**


	4. Chapter 3

**BPOV**

This was so not how I imagined things would be when I returned to Forks. I mean, I'd already picked up on the fact that talking about Edward was pretty much off limits and not one of the Cullens seemed to give a damn either. This was _not _the family I grew up with.

The closer I looked at Esme and Carlisle while we ate, the more worry lines came to my attention and the more their stress and emotional turmoil began to show. Alice didn't show as many signs on the outside, but then again, I was sure she had every facial product known to man to keep her looking flawless. Emmett's sadness and inner battle showed in his eyes. I may have been gone a long time, but I knew how to read people.

When I couldn't take the frowning and silent conversations going on around the room anymore, I threw my napkin down and stood up from the blanket. "Okay, here's the deal people; either you all are going to put a smile on your faces and help me move that shit into this house, or you can all go home. I'm not stupid; I know Edward is at the center of whatever the hell is going on, but if you won't tell me what it is, don't bring the baggage to my door. I know that sounds crude, and like I'm being unappreciative, but forgive me. I came all this way, thrilled to be reunited with my family once again, and instead not one of you can say three words to me without zoning out or having some secret conversation with someone else in your head. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to unload my things."

Alice was glaring at me. Emmett looked to the floor. Jasper actually seemed to be tearing up. And Esme and Carlisle looked down and shook their heads. Not one word was said as I left the room, swallowing down the tears that threatened to spill and the heavy emotions building in my chest. I trudged down the walkway to my U-Haul as I angrily wiped at the few traitor tears that had slipped out.

Since I was fairly certain Edward was an addict, and that was why this family was torn apart, I was brought back to the pain of when I'd inflicted the same pain on Charlie and everyone else that cared about me. At least I knew that I'd been the cause of everything, and at least Charlie hadn't given up. I was inexplicably filled with rage at the fact that I didn't know the specifics of their situation and I didn't know who was to blame. I couldn't be sure without knowing the story, but it came across to me that they'd all just given up.

That fact both surprised and pissed me off.

But why?

I'd spent fifteen years away from these people. No matter how close to each of them I once was, a _lot _could change in that length of time and obviously, it had.

I forcefully pulled on the back hatch of the U-Haul, lifting the doors and sliding out the ramp. As I grabbed hold of a few boxes that were stacked, I caught movement in the corner of my eye. I didn't bother to turn and look, afraid to show how upset I really was.

"Who do you think you are? We all come to help you move, welcome you with open arms, and this is how we get repaid? You act like we owe you something, Bella! My parents and Alice are in tears, and that shit is not okay with me!"

_Oh no he didn't!_

I dropped the boxes, not giving a fuck whether they contained breakables or not, and whirled around, fixing my furious glare on Emmett.

"I _never _fucking said you owed me anything! I've been ecstatic for the past month about moving back to be around my _real _family. Then I get here only to find out that there's some big secret no one will speak about, and it revolves around Edward. God dammit, Em! I miss him just as much as I missed every single one of you, yet no one has the decency to tell me what the _fuck _is going on! There's something about me that you should know; I don't do well with family drama, okay? I've had more than my fair share. I don't like secrets. I want to be a part of this family again, but I can't when no one fucking trusts me enough to tell me what the hell is going on. I know it comes off as insensitive, but right now, I could care less because I've got my reasons for the way I am."

By the time I finished ranting, my chest was heaving, and I was gasping for breath. I wasn't near tears anymore.

I was as pissed off as a stepped on frog.

"Are you done?" Emmett questioned on a whisper, his big ass arms crossed in front of his chest. I narrowed my eyes at him in agitation. "Did I, or did I not offer to give you directions to Edward's?"

I simply nodded. "You're the _only _one who actually brought him up without any provocation, Emmett. Alice gets pissed at me anytime I mention him, and she won't tell me shit. I'm not asking for every fucking detail, okay? All I want to know is if he's okay…and why he's not here with all of you."

"Fine. You don't do well with drama, and you don't like secrets. I can understand that, but lashing out like you did in there isn't the way to get information. Did it ever occur to you that maybe it's too hard for us to talk about? Or how about maybe we didn't know how to tell you?"

I groaned and walked back to the ramp, taking a seat on the edge of the truck. "Yes, I get that, okay? But when I look at each of you, it's there. You've all got this storm brewing behind your eyes."

"Can I make you a deal?" he asked, giving me a heavy sigh, his rigid and defensive posture slumping in defeat.

"Depends on what it entails," I answered.

"Instead of you staying with Alice, why don't you stay with Rosie and me tonight? I'll tell you all you want to know, then tomorrow we'll stick to the original plan and you can go see him. I want you to be able to form your own opinion, Bella, but I'm going to warn you, he's not the same person you remember. He's unpredictable. He can be dangerous. And honestly, I'm not sure what condition you'll find him in."

"You've got a deal, but you get to tell Alice of the change in plans. Despite what you may believe, I don't want to cause anyone anymore pain. You guys are my family too; you always have been. And instead of telling me tonight, tell me tomorrow _after _I see him. I don't want to go to him and spend the whole time judging him for what he's done, okay?"

"Which is it, Bella?" he scoffed, shaking his head at me and turning to walk a few steps away. "First, you bitch about not being told what's going on, and now you want me to wait to tell you _after _you see him?"

"Well, from the way you talked about him a second ago…I just…"

"Listen to me; it's best that you go and see him, armed with the knowledge of what's happened so that it might prepare you. It's just…it's bad, Bella," he explained softly, his voice breaking under the emotion.

I quickly walked up to him, placing my hand on his arm. "Okay, you can tell me…I'm sorry, Emmett, really. I hope you understand why this whole thing has me so upset though."

Emmett lightly chuckled and pulled me into a bear hug. "I do, but please, don't go off like that again; at least, if you feel the need to, tell me, and we'll talk, okay? I can't see mom and dad, or Alice hurt anymore. And I will tell you that, even though Alice and I missed the shit out of you and it hit us hard when you left, it hit him even harder."

No more words were spoken as he kissed the top of my head, released me and started walking back towards the house. I stood there, shocked by what he'd just told me.

"You coming, Bella?" he hollered from my front door.

"Huh? Yeah, just getting these boxes." I smiled as I walked back towards the two I'd dropped.

"You actually think we're going to let you carry shit?" Emmett exclaimed, suddenly flanked by both Carlisle and Jasper.

"Um," I hesitated with complete confusion. "This _is _my house, and it is _my _stuff in the moving truck; of course I'm going to be lifting and carrying stuff!"

"Bella, dear, you can unpack your things tomorrow. Tonight, we unload and you point, okay?" Carlisle told me with a smirk.

Obviously, he hadn't taken my outburst to heart, but that didn't quell the need I felt to apologize.

Before I knew it, Emmett was walking past me with several boxes stacked on the dolly as Jasper took the two in my arms. Carlisle then winked at me as he, too, came carrying a few boxes down the ramp. I shook my head and smiled at him before noticing that both Esme and Alice stood staring at me from my front porch. It was obvious that they were skeptical about whether to approach me or not, and I felt horrible about that.

I took a deep breath and slowly made my way towards them. Both kept their eyes on me, staring at me in silence. They were fidgety and seemed like _they _were the ones ashamed. Maybe they were, but after Emmett and I talked, I didn't want to cause them any more pain; I definitely didn't want to see that look in their eyes and know that I was responsible for it.

"Ali, Esme…I owe you both an apology. I shouldn't have gon–"

"Bella, sweetie, no. You were completely justified, and I'm sorry that we haven't been more forthcoming with you in regards to Edward," Esme said with conviction, taking both my hands in hers.

"Esme, really, whether I was justified or not, it wasn't right. As Emmett pointed out to me, I haven't been here, and I _don't _know what you all have been through. It's okay; I can wait to hear whatever it is that's happened. And Alice, you've been there for me so much these past couple of months; I'm so sorry for my explosion. Can you forgive me?"

I hated pleading with her, but the damn fairy had resorted from looking ashamed to now sticking her nose in the air and becoming somewhat arrogant…and royally pissing me off.

"Alice!" Esme chastised.

Suddenly, Alice began giggling and playfully slapped my arm. "Gotcha!"

_Yep, I'm going to kill her._

"Of course you're forgiven, Bella! I'm sorry I haven't told you, but I just have a really hard time talking about it, you know?" she explained nearly inaudibly.

"I know. Don't worry about it; I'll stop pushing. Now why don't we girls get in there and start telling these goons where to put my shit?"

"Why…Isabella Swan! We're going to have to do something about that language, young lady!" Esme laughed. "What would Charlie say?"

I looked over my shoulder and arched my eyebrow at her. "Where do you think I learned it from?"

**C&B**

Three hours later, we managed to have all the boxes in their appropriate rooms, and the furniture was situated the way Alice, Esme, and I liked. Even though it was only me that would be living here, they seemed to know what the hell they were doing, so I valued their input.

"Bella, do I need to swing by the store for you to grab anything before we head to my place?" Alice chimed in my ear as I sat out on the porch, enjoying a beer with Emmett, Carlisle, and Jasper.

"Um, actually…" I started.

"She's staying with me tonight, midge. Rosie wants to meet her, and there are some things I need to talk to Bella about," Emmett informed her, setting his empty beer bottle on the porch railing.

"Since when?" she whined.

"Since Emmett and I talked after my outburst earlier," I murmured.

"Hey, Bella, why don't you go check and make sure you've got everything before we head out? I'll explain everything to Midge, okay?"

I left Emmett to deal with Alice, who I knew was going to throw a fit. I could sympathize with her in that respect because she'd been so excited about us having our first sleepover in years. Despite my aggravation regarding her, I was actually looking forward to it as well; the idea of being able to catch up on everything sounded great. But finding out what had happened with Edward took a front seat to that. I loved him just as much as I loved the rest of his family, and if he was hurting or estranged, I needed to know about it.

About ten minutes later, Alice came up behind me in the kitchen, her head hung and shoulders slumped.

"Seriously, Alice, it's not that bad. I'll be staying with you tomorrow night, and you'll be with me, helping me move all day tomorrow."

"I know; I was just really looking forward to tonight, but I guess it's only fair that Emmett gets to spend time with you. I mean, I _have _been in contact with you a lot longer than anyone else. I would warn you about Rose again, but something tells me that if she tries anything, you'll surprise the crap out of her." She laughed softly before hugging me tightly and literally skipping off into the arms of Jasper, who stood with his back leaning against the wall of the dining room.

"Wait for _me _to call _you _in the morning, okay twinkle toes?" I called after her with a smirk.

"Fine, I'll wait, but just know that I'm not the only early bird in this family," she replied, winking smugly at me as Jasper smiled and shook his head.

"It was great finally meeting you, Bella. See you in the morn…tomorrow sometime," he joked, ushering Alice out the door at the same time.

I glanced around the inside of my house once more. It wasn't big by any means, but it was perfect for me. I really didn't have much furniture aside from my bed and TV, but I had plenty of boxes. There was a lot to do tomorrow, and hopefully, I'd have a decent amount of time to see Edward before going to Alice's. And I prayed to God that she didn't find out I was going before I had the chance to escape. Emmett had made it pretty clear earlier that she would freak the fuck out if she knew what I had planned. The why would be a question I was going to ask Emmett tonight.

And come hell or high water, he was going to tell me because there was no way in hell I would put up with her getting in my shit.

**C&B**

Rose and the kids…Wow, where should I start? Alice hadn't lied when she warned me about Rose, but Emmett had stepped in before I threw down. Apparently, my hostility _impressed _her rather than intimidated her which was just fucking weird. She had tried to scare me off of Emmett, like I was after him or something, which couldn't have been further from the truth; in fact, it was laughable.

She was absolutely beautiful, too. Long, flowing blonde hair reached the middle of her back, and she had piercing blue eyes that seemed to look straight through me. I'll admit that the way Rose had looked at me the moment we arrived made my skin crawl. It was an intense once over, and there was no mistaking that she was calculating. This woman whom I'd just met looked at me and made me feel as though she could see all I'd been through. I hated that feeling, and I didn't want her to think she got to me. So when she became bitchy and made accusations, sizing me up, I bit back in natural Bella fashion.

I knocked Emmett for six when I snapped; obviously he wasn't expecting it, but really, he couldn't possibly think I'd have sat there and taken it, did he?

Once everything was smoothed over, we moved from Emmett's front yard and into the house. Unfortunately, Rose had already put the children in bed, so I'd have to wait until morning to meet the gremlins. To answer the unspoken question here, no, I wasn't a big fan of kids. I'd never really had much experience with them, but for some reason, every child I _had _been around loved me.

Okay, I'll rephrase that; I wasn't a fan of _babies _in particular. I remember how I used to enjoy the older kids that would come into my bakery. Still, it didn't really make me a fan, but I'd leave the baby making to those cut out for the job.

As I set a bag of clothes on a barstool in their kitchen, Rose offered me a cup of coffee while Emmett grabbed a beer; typical man. I was just waiting for the questions to start, questions that would mean no harm, but that would cause me to lie and omit. I knew Emmett wanted to know what I'd been up to since I'd moved, but there was no way I was going to tell him the whole truth.

"So, Bella, how has life treated you the past fifteen years?" Emmett questioned, plopping down in a kitchen chair.

My fingers traced the rim of the coffee cup as I smirked, amused that I had foreseen this interrogation.

"It's been okay, I guess. Nothing special really."

"Oh come on, girl, I know you've got more to tell me than that horseshit. How's Charlie? He still a cop?"

"Yep, he's been Chief of Police of Lake Arthur, Louisiana for the past fifteen years. He's pretty lost without me there now. Hell, I did everything for him. Matter of fact, he called me as I was leaving Portland and said that he'd gone to a local diner for breakfast. When I was there, I was cooking every meal, so we rarely ate out. I would imagine eating out is going to become part of his daily routine now."

Emmett smiled and laughed as he took a quick swig. "So you like to cook?"

"I love cooking, though my expertise is really in baking. I went to culinary school down there and opened up my own bakery in Lake Arthur. I ended up having to shut it down for personal reasons, but I'm hoping to eventually open one here."

"Oh sweet Jesus, Rosie, Bella can give you a lesson," he pleaded to his wife, who was glaring him down. "Don't give me that look! You're always griping about how you want to start baking more."

"Don't buy into his bullshit, girl. He's just bitching because I won't let him go on a junk food diet. I rarely buy sweets, and he's hoping you'll sway me on it," Rose explained, thrumming her perfectly manicured nails against the countertop.

"Bella's got my back, don't you?" he fired back, his expression confident that I'd chosen his side.

"Sorry to disappoint, Em, but I'm staying out of this. Someone wants help baking or whatever, sure I'll be there, but I am not going to get in the middle of a lover's quarrel," I replied winking as Rose nodded her head in agreement. "What do you do now?"

"What do I do?" he asked dumbly.

"Your job…where do you work?"

"Oh, I own a construction company out here. We build houses from here all the way to Seattle. Rosie here stays home with the kids."

"But I'm going back to work as soon as I find someone to watch the kids," she interjected.

"No, you're not," Emmett ground out, arching a brow at her. "We've talked about this, Rosie."

"_You talked._ I didn't say a word," she argued back before giving him the finger and walking angrily out of the kitchen.

I turned to Emmett, raising a brow in amusement. He shook his head, silently pleading for me to let it go, and rose from his chair at the table.

"Let's go into the living room," he told me softly as I followed behind him. He gestured to me to sit on the couch as he collapsed on the other end, taking another pull from his beer.

"I don't expect every little detail, Em."

"Well then tell me; what _do_ you want?" he questioned, narrowing his eyes at me like I'd confused him somehow.

"I just want to know what's going on with him. Why none of you talk about him, and act like he isn't part of your family anymore," I whispered as Emmett gulped and looked off into space for a few minutes.

"Edward's a mess, Bella. He has a drug addiction to pain medication. Everything was great three years ago. Edward had just finished medical school at the top of his class. He and Dad opened up their own practice shortly after, and about six months after the clinic opened, Edward's girlfriend, Kate, died with no explanation. It took all of us by surprise as we loved that girl like she was one of us. And Edward, he just…he didn't seem to give a fuck; it was like he wasn't surprised by her death at all," Emmett spat, the hatred and anger relayed in his voice.

"Em, are you saying Edward had a hand in her death?" I asked, not wanting to believe that it was true. The Edward I had once known would have _never _killed someone, regardless of what he was going through.

"The police performed an investigation of her and Edward's apartment. They found empty bottles of Oxycontin on her bedside table, bottles that had been filled by the pharmacy the night before. On the bottles, the name of the physician that had prescribed her the meds…it was Edward, Bella. After further investigation, they found out that he'd been prescribing her these medications for months, and with no basis for doing so."

"Emmett, if they had found Edward guilty they'd have arrested him, and he'd be in prison right now. How can you still believe he would do something like that?"

He glared fiercely at me. "The motherfucker told the police that one of his prescription pads had been stolen, and when they compared his signature to the ones on file at the pharmacy, they _somehow _didn't match up. He got off by the skin of his teeth. A few months later, Dad caught Edward popping the same fucking pills one night in his office. When we questioned him about why he had them and what he was taking them for, he became defensive. Dad, in so many words, fired him from the clinic and reported him to the medical board for practicing under the influence of drugs. They eventually revoked Edward's license, and he went downhill from there."

I tried to control the anger that was bubbling up. Through his entire telling of the story so far, not once had he mentioned asking for Edward's side. Not once had he mentioned believing in his brother, and the fact that he would never do something like that. It royally pissed me off because instead of reaching out and trying to help like most families should, he was more concerned about this woman Kate.

"Go on," I choked out, swallowing down the urge to shout at him.

"Over the past couple of years, Bella, Edward has been in and out of jail on drug charges, and has had two arrests for assault and battery. He got tangled up with some big shot out here, and I'm not even sure of what his name is. All I know is that Edward thinks he fucking owes this guy something so he does all of his bidding. For a while, Jasper, Mom, and me would bail him out when he'd get into trouble, but it became too much. Alice and Dad didn't want to involve themselves with Edward and his criminal lifestyle; they didn't want to mar their reputation and lose business. He's completely lost sight of himself, and the Edward we once knew is gone. He should have been locked up the moment he murdered Kate."

I couldn't sit back and say nothing. As a matter of fact, I felt like I would vomit at any minute. Edward had been shunned by his family and not even given a chance. He was being punished for something he may not have done and hadn't even been given the chance to defend himself. What kind of a family does that to someone they love? If that Kate woman had been his wife, I would have understood their devotion a bit more, but she was a fucking _girlfriend_; Edward was their flesh and blood.

"You're not going to like me very much for what I'm about to say, Emmett, and this is basically an outsider's point of view. But, I'm having a hell of a lot of trouble with what I've just heard."

"I told you, Bella. He's a mess. It's best to just forget about…" Emmett started dryly, taking another swig.

"_Never,_" I snarled at him. "If anything, I'm going to try my damnedest to be a support system for him; if he'll allow it. After all, _someone _needs to! I don't know why you would ever choose to side with some random chick instead of your own flesh and blood, but I can't agree with that. I can sympathize with his drug addiction, but if they found him not guilty in her case, then he wasn't guilty."

Emmett jumped up and slammed his beer bottle down on the table with a loud clank, his eyes fixing me with a hateful glare. "You're fucking kidding me, right? After everything I just told you, the hell he put us through, you're taking his side?"

"Here's the thing, Emmett; I haven't heard his side. But from an outsider's point of view, listening to your side of the story and the way you tell it, it sounds like you turned your back on your own flesh and blood without even blinking. Edward was just as much my family as he was yours, and I'm going to be damn sure that I know all of the facts before I turn on him. I don't mean to offend you, but it's the truth. If you had gone out and told anyone else what you just told me, and in the same fashion, they'd think the same things as me."

"There's more dammit!" he shouted. "Every Sunday, Mom cooks a big dinner for all of us and expects us each to be there. It's always been that way. Edward still attends every fucking week, whether we want him there or not. Every time, he looks worse. More drugged, skinnier, closer to death. We tell him he needs help, but he just gets defensive and leaves."

"Yeah, and today, he wanted to come and help move, be a part of everything. I heard how you responded to him. You talked to him like a child and threatened to call the police on him. You don't want anything to do with him…fine. _No one _wants anything to do with him, fine…but I'll be damned if that's going to stop me from going to see my brother," I told him, willing my traitorous tears back. "I don't want this to mar our relationship, Em, but I won't pick sides on this matter. I haven't heard his side, and even when I do, I still won't pick. All I want is to have my family back."

"Bella, we've waited too long to have you back in our lives, so of course I won't let this get in the way of that, but don't try and fix this because you can't, okay? I don't expect you to understand our side, or what it's been like for us, but I also understand that you want to hear his side. My assumption is that you would rather go tonight instead of tomorrow though…am I right?"

I nodded quietly as Emmett sighed loudly, walked towards me and pulled me into a firm hug. "I'm sorry for shouting at you and getting angry, Bella. I just…I've seen him under the influence. He can be hateful, and a fucking asshole. I don't want to see you get hurt."

I pulled back with a smirk and arched brow. "Police Chief's daughter, remember? I can handle, Edward, believe me."

**C&B**

I followed Emmett's directions down to the letter, and I'd already been tempted to turn back around in fear that I'd missed my turn off a couple of times. In Forks, when the sky went dark, the back roads out here went pitch black as the densely forested area didn't allow for much light.

Would it have really been so hard for Emmett to have given me a little warning about exactly how far out Edward lived?

As I drove, looking for the supposed gravel road that Emmett claimed would sneak up on me, I wondered whether I should have had Emmett call and make sure he was home first. I would hate to have driven all this way for him to not be home, or for me to interrupt him in the middle of something.

I was still reeling from how Emmett had blatantly told the story, not hesitating to lay all blame for everything on Edward. I just didn't understand how they could watch him go through that and then turn their backs on him like that. They should have stood behind him, supported him…like Charlie did me.

Eventually, I caught sight of a gravel road, matching Emmett's description. I cautiously turned onto the road, which was impossibly darker than the one-o-one I was on before.

I wasn't quite sure what I was expecting his house to look like, but it certainly wasn't this beautiful Victorian-style home before me. I noticed a silver Volvo parked in the drive and prayed that it belonged to Edward. Before I had even turned my pick-up off, the front door opened, the porch light came on, and…

_Fuck me_.

If the man that walked out the door was Edward, I was fucked. I swallowed down my nerves and stepped out of my truck. As I slowly made my way towards him, I tucked my hands into the back pockets of my jeans.

"It's been a long time, Edward," I spoke excitedly, pushing my nerves aside. I now stood before this…this _man _and suddenly didn't feel so sure about my coming here unannounced. He did _not _seem pleased at all as he glowered down at me. There was no mistaking that it was in fact Edward, though.

Difference was Edward wasn't lanky and geeky anymore. Not even close. He towered over me at around at least six foot three, if I had to guess. His dark wash jeans slung low on his hips, exposing a delicious 'V'. The legs of his jeans had random rips and scratches in the fabric and hugged his thighs just right. A white button down shirt covered his arms, but was undone, leaving his bare, tanned and toned chest exposed. I caught sight of a glimmer of metal, hinting at a nipple ring and the unmistakable blank ink of some sort of tribal tattoo that looked to cover part of his right shoulder and tapered just barely across his collarbone and up the side of his neck. When I finally reached his face, I was gone. His piercing green eyes that I'd never forgotten, stared back at me with a mix of anger and confusion. A lit cigarette was dangling between his plump lips as his chiseled, scruff covered jaw tensed.

Then there was the hair. His ever beautiful shade of bronze, yet completely unmanageable head of hair; I couldn't get over how absolutely beautiful this man was. Nothing at all like the boy I'd grown up with.

"I'm sorry, but…who the hell are you?" he asked hoarsely. Even with the hoarseness, his voice was still velvet smooth as it washed over me. This was not fucking good for me. Having such a strong reaction to someone I'd always thought of as a brother…yet, I was feeling everything _but _sisterly right now.

"You don't recognize me?" I asked him softly.

He took a step back, his eyes raking over me. After a moment, he scratched at his head and took a drag off of his cigarette. "Am I supposed to know you or something?"

"Well I would hope so," I answered, placing my hands on my hips and arching a brow at him.

"I'm drawing a blank, doll. I think you've got the wrong guy." With that, he turned and began to head back inside the house.

"You didn't say goodbye to me when I left fifteen years ago, Edward Cullen, so I'll be damned if I let you turn me away now without so much as a fucking hello," I barked.

I watched as he stopped and whipped around suddenly, eyes narrowed as he puffed at his cigarette. He seemed to be trying to think back, which didn't take long because seconds later, his eyes widened and the cigarette fell to the ground beside him.

"Bella?"


	5. Chapter 4

**I'll see you all at the bottom….**

**EPOV**

Pain.

There was no other way to describe it. My bones ached. My muscles were beginning to seize up like a motherfucker, and my stomach was quickly getting sicker and sicker by the minute. If Michael's dumbass didn't fucking hurry up and get here, I feared that the full symptoms of my withdrawal would set in. I was already beginning to experience a few of them, and if I was this miserable already, I didn't even want to think about how much worse it could get.

I'd run out of my supply last night, and I was someone that was used to swallowing down anywhere from four to five pills every hour to an hour and a half–sometimes by way of snorting instead; that put the drug into effect quicker. I had been in this position many times, waiting on the boss man's new bitch, Michael Newton, to run my monthly stash by my fucking house. Being a rookie, he usually dicked around and gallivanted in town, taking his sweet fucking time before finally ending up here. But, thankfully, it had never reached the point of me going into full-blown, detox mode; the little weasel always managed to show just before I got to that point. I had been more lenient on the douche than I should have, which is why I was going to beat his pathetic ass if he didn't show in the next fifteen minutes.

As it was, I sat in a chair positioned in front of the large window that looked out over my front lawn, a beer in hand and a rag in the other that I'd been using to wipe at the sweat that accumulated on my brow; no doubt from the amount of stress my body was going through.

I hadn't always been a lowlife addict, and I fucking hated that my life had turned out this way. I had no one to blame but myself. No one had forced me to take the fucking drugs. That was all me. And while I'd been presented with many opportunities to turn my life around, there was always something…or someone to push me back down the wrong road. I don't necessarily say that to lay blame on anyone, because in the end, it all boiled down to me being a damn junkie, but when you receive no support, constantly reminded of your shortcomings in life, and how much of a fucking loser you are, it's hard to stay positive.

But who the hell was I to bitch and moan? I'd brought this shit on myself. First by getting involved with a fucking bitch who shall not be named, and second by falling in with the wrong group of people. Instead of trying to fight for my job, tell my side of the story, and actually salvage any and all relationships I had, I shut down and turned a blind fucking eye to all that was going on around me. By the time I finally _did _try to do something about it, it was too fucking late and that's when the assholes preyed upon me. They saw me as weak and vulnerable and struck while the iron was hot. I'd lost everything I cared about.

I mean, how many fucking doctors do you know that lost their license nearly a year after opening their own practice, all by the hands of their own father?

Yeah, I'll come back to that shit later.

At the time, when Aro's crew approached me, I didn't give a fuck about myself–still don't–and I just went with whatever they proposed to me. Next thing I knew, my brother and my best friend-if I can even call them that anymore- were bailing me out of jail left and right, and loaning me money when I had next to nothing to live off of at home. But in the past year or so, I had managed to move up in rank within our little gang, mob…whatever you want to call it. Instead of being on clean-up detail after big hits, I was now doing the drug-runs, making calls, taking names, and actually performing the hits. To the guys, I wasn't an outsider anymore.

Was I proud of the shit I was involved with now? Fuck no, but I had no way out. The last time I'd tried, Aro had come to me with the names of each member of my family, threatening their lives. I knew if I made any move against him, that James, Tyler, Eric, and Garrett would take my ass out in two minutes flat. And I wasn't that ballsy.

_Where the _fuck _was Newton?_

I held off on calling James as long as possible, but this shit was getting ridiculous. Newton was supposed to have had my shit to me a long ass time ago. I clutched at my hair and pulled out my phone, my hands shaking uncontrollably, and then pressed the speed dial.

"Yeah?"

"Where's my shit?" I growled into the phone.

"Newton's bringing it by, Cullen. Man, you know this, so why are you calling me?"

"Because cocksucker, if you would keep a closer fucking eye on him, I might have it by now! He was supposed to be here over a damn hour ago!"

"You better watch the way you talk to me, asswipe. You need to fucking cut back if you're already low. We just dropped you a stash last week didn't we?"

"Does it really fucking matter? You're just as hooked as I am, bitch. And don't think I won't go to Aro with this shit. Someone needs to straighten Newton's ass out, and the last time I checked, that was your fucking job."

"Are you threatening me?" he questioned me in a low voice.

"Well, put it this way, either you do something about him, or I won't hesitate to explain to Aro how you've been blowing his money down at Banner's."

"Let me call Newton. I'll get back to you," he growled.

James was the henchman I dealt with the most, and just about the only one I got along with from time to time. We butted heads a hell of a lot, but it was better than the regular fist fights I usually had with Tyler, Eric, and Garrett. I knew, and he knew, that I had him at the mention of Banner's. It was an underground whore house in Port Angeles that James frequented. I'd gone along with him several times, but I'd always waited for his ass in the lobby or outside. That wasn't to say I didn't get offers from the whores that normally hung around there, such as Jessica or Lauren, because there were a lot. I just didn't give a shit, and getting involved with any woman after the hell I'd been through was the last fucking thing I wanted to do. So I refrained from touching them at all costs. Touching could form attachments, no matter how little the touch was. I didn't do attachments. Sure, there had been one or two lays after _her_, but both had turned out horribly and been a huge nightmare. So, if I felt the need to _'blow my load'_, I did it on my own time with my hand.

The drama that came with sleeping with someone, or becoming close to someone just wasn't worth my time and heartache. Women, well the women who'd approached me, always claimed that they were perfectly fine with casual sex, no strings attached, but I fucking knew better. They always said that, and then the next thing I knew, they were telling me they loved me and didn't understand why I didn't want them back. That's why I put a stop to it after having tried with those couple women in the beginning.

I would willingly admit, I'm fucked up in the head and I don't see that ever changing. I'm a drug addict, and no better than your common thug. I had gone from being a somebody and having a family that anyone would be lucky to have, to being a nobody. As it was, if I were to die tomorrow from an overdose, or be shot to death on a job, who'd notice? Who'd care?

_No one._

My fucking family hated me. Wanted nothing to do with me. I never let myself dwell on it too much because it took me to a dark place in my head, much darker than the place it normally resided in. I still made an effort though. Regardless of how much shit they gave me, I always made sure I still made it home for Mom's Sunday dinner. I guess that makes me a masochist for what I went through each Sunday, but they were my family, and I loved each one of them just as much as I ever did. Despite the fact that they turned their backs on me in every sense of the word, I couldn't bring myself to do the same to them. I needed some normalcy outside of the bullshit life I'd made for myself and if going for dinner every Sunday was the closest I'd get to that, then I would happily take it.

I even tried, hell, I fucking _begged _for them to let me in on family trips or gatherings, just to show them that I was still devoted and wanted to be a part of things. In some pathetic way, I guess it was also my way in trying to show them that I was sorry for what I had put them through, but the longer time went on, the more it seemed that nothing would accomplish that.

Before I could think anymore about it, I heard the crunch of gravel outside and lifted my head to see Newton finally pulling up. _How fucking convenient_. I slowly rose from my seat, my muscles protesting in excruciation. I groaned to myself as I trudged out the front door, meeting Newton at the steps of my porch.

The weasel had the audacity to smirk at me, almost as if he knew what he'd put me through while he did whatever the fuck it was he did. A sudden wave of nausea came over me, but I quickly swallowed it down as I glared him down.

"What the fuck are you smirking at, Newton?"

"I see you have Harrison doing your bidding now," he huffed, obviously annoyed at the fact that James had called him and ate his ass out.

"Doing my bidding? Not a chance, Newton, because if it was me that was in charge of keeping tabs on you, I'd have already ripped your fucking balls from your body and fed them to you. Where the fuck have you been? You were supposed to be here more than an hour ago," I snarled, ripping the bag from his hands that held my supply.

"Oh, yeah, sorry about that. I got fucking hungry and stopped for a bite at the diner in town. Good thing I did too because turns out, that waitress, Tanya…she's _very _gracious when left a decent tip," he replied with a wink.

I saw fucking red.

I took hold of his shirt in my fists and hoisted his small, pudgy frame to eye level with me as I slammed his back into the pillar off to the side of the steps.

"You mean, I've been fucking sitting here going out of my mind, waiting on my fix just so you could put food in your stomach and sink your needle dick into a damn whore?" I growled as he stared back in fear.

"Come on, Cullen. It's not like you were close to death or some shit!"

Why the fuck did I put up with shit like this? I was going to have to talk to Aro about allowing me to pick up my stash from him directly from now on, and soon, because this was bullshit. I wasn't going to go through this withdrawal shit again, not if I could help it.

I turned my attention back to Newton, drew my free hand back, and plowed my fist into the side of his face, feeling the bone of his jaw give way.

"Get the fuck out of my sight," I hissed as Newton lay crumpled on the ground howling like a bitch.

I tore back inside and straight to the kitchen where I quickly opened the bag and emptied a total of six pills into my hand. I then hunched over my sink and washed them down with water from the faucet.

Once I took in a deep breath, I grabbed a couple and lay them out on counter. I reached into my silverware drawer, lifting the tray and pulling my knife, razor blade, and straw from underneath it.

When I had the pills fully crushed to a beautiful powder-like form, I formed it all into one long line and snorted half with one nostril, and half with the other. The feeling and relief was instantaneous, like a cool drink of water after having walked in the desert for miles with no hydration. The tension in my body slowly began to dissipate and all the stress dwindled to nothing.

Everything was now right with the world.

**C&B**

Hours later, I wasn't even sure how fucking long I had been out. All I remembered was putting my supplies up in my hiding places and then mixing me a Crown and coke before collapsing on my couch to watch TV.

As my stupor began to wear off, I remembered that at dinner this last Sunday, the family had talked about helping one of Alice's friends move in or some shit and that it was supposed to be going down today. I would have just fucking shown up had I have known where the hell it was, but I didn't, which meant I had to call my brother, Emmett. As usual, he was a fucking prick on the phone and accused me of being fucking high as a damn kite.

It was a stupid idea of me to even think about helping, considering the way Alice had threatened me about showing up unwanted. It was probably for the fucking best anyway. Having just come back from withdrawing, the drugs would hit me with a harder impact than before until my body settled back down. That was also the reason Aro wouldn't be calling me with any new jobs for the next couple of days, and that was a good thing because after the hit I'd done for him last weekend and the shit storm it had caused, I wasn't exactly in the mindset to get back into action so quickly.

The hit was on an old ally of Aro's, Caius Sharp. He'd been interfering with clients of Aro's and had been spreading word about his plans to take Aro down. As an act of warning, Aro had sent me and James to do a bit of damage control, and by that I mean that we broke into his home and warehouse and stole what drugs and artillery he had. Where things got fucked up was when we were on our way out. Caius and his three goons were waiting for us at the front door. Always armed with guns, James and I unleashed fire and an all out gun fight started.

When we called Aro, announcing the fuck up and the death of Caius and his guards, Aro had to call in favors to whoever his connections were and clean up the whole fucking mess. Due to how badly it had turned out, our payout had been cut in half, and Aro made it clear that none of us were to do another hit of that magnitude in pairs. That everything would be individual from that point on.

I couldn't really complain in that respect because it meant a bigger payout each time, but the chances of cops finding my prints, or someone figuring out that I was involved really put my ass on the line. Even though it had been a shot from James' gun that killed Caius, the cops would still haul me in on accessory and the nature of my already existent criminal record, something I thought I'd never have.

I sighed loudly and rose, stumbling light-headedly into the kitchen where I fixed another Crown and coke. What I really fucking wanted was to take a few more pills, but I needed to watch my stash this time and try not to get too fucking carried away. The alcohol intake helped in between fixes though.

Before I knew it, I was waking up to the unbearable lights of someone pulling into my drive. It wasn't until that moment that I noticed it was now dark outside. The sad roar of the engine wasn't one I recognized, and that set off warning bells in my head, so I hoisted myself from the couch and lit a cigarette before stepping out onto the porch.

I couldn't see shit until the lights from the blasted deathtrap of a truck, though deathtrap may be too nice, had turned off. And I was left confused, pissed off from having been woken up, and amused by the fact that the women were now trying a new tactic in attempting to land me. Why they fucking wanted me I have no clue; it wasn't like I was a grand catch or anything.

Yet, the closer the woman came, the more I realized that I didn't recognize her. I knew everyone in this town, and it set alarms off in my head. Who is she? Who does she work for? Is she wearing a wire?

"It's been a long time, Edward," she stated as she walked, smiling excitedly at me.

_What the fuck?_

I glared angrily, frustrated with not knowing what the fuck was going on. How the hell did this chick know my fucking name?

"I'm sorry, but…who the hell are you?" I questioned, giving her the once over. She didn't seem to notice, and it's a good thing because I wasn't being exactly kind about it. I've explained my rules and reasoning for not getting involved with anyone, but damn if this woman wasn't a temptation. She was fucking beautiful.

Long, flowing brunette hair hung past her shoulders in soft waves as her dark eyes looked at me in what could only be described as disappointment.

"You don't recognize me?"

She didn't stand far from me at all now, and I couldn't help but smirk and take a step back as she made no attempt to hide the fact that the bitch was checking me out. I was used to it though, and I didn't mean that in an arrogant fashion either. It's just the way it was. I took some more time to really look at her and came up with nothing, but I'd be lying if I said there wasn't something hauntingly familiar about those eyes.

"Am I supposed to know you or something?" I asked frustratingly as I scratched my head and took a long drag. I was slowly becoming convinced that this was just a coincidence. She looked far too fucking innocent for her to be an undercover cop, and was entirely too sweet to be associated with any of the other local thugs.

"Well I would hope so," she snapped back at me with attitude.

_I'll be damned, she's got a bit of spunk_, I thought as my eyes traveled to her hands on her curvy hips. I could feel things a stirring below the waist and willed them away. I wouldn't give in to any urge because as I had said before, it was all for nothing. It wasn't worth it, no matter how beautiful or sweet this woman might be…whoever the fuck she was.

"I'm drawing a blank, doll. I think you've got the wrong guy." I told her with a shake of my head and turned to head back in the house. I didn't have time for this bullshit. I didn't know the woman, and the longer I sat out there and listened to how she assumed she knew me, the more my body would betray me.

"You didn't say goodbye to me when I left fifteen years ago, Edward Cullen, so I'll be damned if I let you turn me away now without so much as a fucking hello," she barked.

I instantly stopped in my tracks and whirled around to face her. I took in a long puff of my cigarette. She fucking expected me to remember someone from _fifteen years ago? _But then I thought back to around that time in my life, and I couldn't explain it, but suddenly her brown eyes flashed in my head and it hit me like a ton of bricks. There was no fucking way. I hadn't thought about her since…since…

_Say something you asshole, she's waiting!_

"Bella?"

I watched as her face lit up with an excited smile and nodded. A smile meant for me. And if she'd found me, that meant that she had to have been in contact with my family. What the fucking hell was she doing here and _smiling? _Shouldn't she be kicking my ass? And oh fuck, where's her dad? The last fucking thing I needed was the Chief of police after my ass.

"Doesn't that hurt?" she questioned with a laugh.

"Huh? What?" I asked stupidly, warring with myself on what to do. She pointed her finger down and as I followed her line of sight, the pain sunk in.

"_Son-of-a-bitch!" _I roared, kicking the cigarette butt that had obviously fallen from my mouth and landed on my bare foot. "Shit, you think you could have fucking said something sooner?"

"Not my fault you were so caught up in being an asshole that you _forgot_ you had a lit cigarette in your fucking mouth," she bit back.

My eyes widened. I wasn't expecting that. She was fucking feisty. What the hell happened to quiet and shy Bella? This wasn't the same girl I remembered.

I raked my eyes over her once more. Fuck, she _definitely _wasn't the same girl.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"Okay, so obviously you aren't capable of the words 'hello' _or _'goodbye'. Would it really kill you to say, 'hey, what's up?'" she asked, her voice growing quiet.

"You show up here after having fallen off the face of the damn earth for fifteen years, have been _here _five minutes, and you're already starting in on me?"

"No, dickhead. I came here because I really wanted to fucking see you since you weren't there for the cookout earlier today, and foolishly, I thought that you might actually be surprised to see me," she ground out angrily, turning her back and beginning to walk off, but not before ramming her fist into the pillar beside her.

I watched in shock. The drug induced haze I was in before was wearing off, and the more it did so, the more it became clear and hit home. Isabella fucking Swan was standing in front of me, telling me she was back and came by because she _wanted _to see me. I'd carried around guilt over the way I'd so obviously hurt her fifteen years ago. We had just been kids back then, but I would never, for as long as I live, forget the look upon her face as she drove away with her dad and out of my-our-lives.

"Oh, you surprised me all right, doll," I chuckled, my voice gritty from the Crown I'd consumed today.

Bella fixed her eyes on me furiously. "Don't fucking call me that."

"Are you always this bitchy?" I asked quirking an eyebrow at her, goading her.

"Are you always this fucking irritating?" she shot back.

"You wound me," I mocked. "I'd take infuriating over irritating, _doll_, it's not like I'm poking you or some shit."

"Oh you certainly aren't poking me, because if you were, I'd have your ass on the ground in two seconds flat. Now are you going to ask me to come in or are you going to make me stand out here and get eaten alive by fucking mesquitoes all night?"

"Why in the world would I let you in? I don't fucking know you anymore," I joked, hoping she'd go for it.

"For one, and this isn't me judging so don't take it that way, you need another fix to calm the shaking in your hands and the cold sweat that's breaking out across your forehead. Two, you need to put ointment on that burn on your foot or it's going to become infected, and three…I didn't drive way the fuck out here just to turn around and go back to your brother's. You and I should catch up."

Anger, shame, confusion, and guilt all coursed through me at once. Obviously, the family had gotten their hands on her and filled her head with all of my short-comings, otherwise, she wouldn't have just stood there and literally picked me apart on needing a fix. I was pissed not only because she'd blatantly judged me, despite her claim that she wasn't, but also because the friend that Alice and the family had helped move in was obviously Bella. They could shun me out of family gatherings and bash me every fucking Sunday, but for them to deliberately leave me out of welcoming one of our own back home was like a punch in the gut and was worse than anything else they could have done to me.

"If they told you all about how fucked up I am, what the hell are you doing out here, Bella?" I rasped, glaring angrily at her.

"You're right, they did tell me about you. They told me a bunch of horseshit, and as I said, I'm not judging you. There's two fucking sides to every story, Edward. Believe it or not, I said what I did about you needing a fix because I know the signs," she sighed irritably. "Just, please, don't ask me to elaborate on that tonight. I really am here because I wanted to catch up with you, if you'll let me," she whispered quietly as her shoulders slumped.

She looked fucking defeated and I was so confused on what she'd just said that I did the first thing that came to mind as her words of 'there's two sides to every story' ran through my head.

I reached out, gently took her arm in my trembling hand and pulled her roughly against me in a hug.

This was a monumental moment for me as it was the first bit of physical contact I'd had with a woman in over a fucking year, and instead of upsetting me and making me nervous, it did the complete opposite. It warmed a part of my heart I'd long since forgotten even existed.

It was the fact that she'd just done that to me so easily that had me nervous.

"Fuck, okay, Bella. You can come in," I whispered into the night air as my chin rested atop her head. "But please, don't make me regret it." I pulled away and caught her looking at me sympathetically, but that look quickly transformed into one of determination.

"There's something you should know, Edward Cullen. I don't turn my back on my fucking family, despite what's going on. I'll tell you just like I told them, if _you _need me, I'll be here, whenever, wherever. And if your sister or brother even think of trying to stop me, they're in for a rude awakening."

"Okay, you've fucking been here maybe twenty minutes at the most now, and already you've managed to thwart my every attempt to get rid of you, and yet, at the same time you've also managed to make me hope you never leave," I murmured, which was a really fucking pussy thing for me to do. How my rough exterior hadn't scared her off, I have no idea but I was ecstatic she was still here.

Just to have an ally, someone on my side to talk to and shit, aside from Aro's henchmen was something I hadn't realized I needed until she showed up and ran her sarcastic fucking mouth. She gave as good as she got, it seemed, and I couldn't wait to learn more about what had happened to the once innocent and sweet Bella Swan I'd grown up with.

And I already knew by my gut feeling that this woman was going to completely wreak havoc on my life and turn it upside down.

**A/N: So…we've heard from Edward. What did you think? He's a mess isn't he?**

**Next, Bella's back with her version on their conversation. Again, my blog is up and running again on blogspot (link in my profile) and I've started posting this on Twilighted as well. **

**Hopefully, I'll have the update for you on Friday, but definitely by Monday. We're getting a new kitty Friday night so I'm not sure how it'll play out LOL**

**Leave me some love & thanks for reading! ;D **


	6. Chapter 5

**BPOV**

He just got away with fucking murder. I was pissed and ready to knock the shithead in the mouth when he hugged me. _No one _did that to me because they knew better! Even Charlie wasn't that brave.

Now, I'll admit, once I got over the initial shock of having Edward's arms around me, and I let the anger subside a bit, it was really nice. _BUT_…he fucking reeked. The moment I hugged him back and inhaled, I literally wanted to vomit. I mean, I knew he was going through withdrawals and shit–I could tell–but for the love of all that's holy, when the hell was the last time he'd actually showered? He smelled of sweat, poor hygiene, and another odor I just couldn't place. Thank God his breath was at least decent.

It sure was unfortunate too, given how insanely good looking he was–and I say that in a completely sisterly manner.

I followed him into his house and was surprised to find it unbelievably beautiful inside. I wasn't exactly sure what I expected to find, but it certainly wasn't this pristinely clean home. That is, until I went into the living room. Beer bottles covered half of his dark and obviously expensive coffee table, along with trash from snacks that had, no doubt, been picked up at a convenient store. If his table was in this condition, I almost hated to think of what state the kitchen was in.

"Sorry, I'll get this picked up real quick. I wasn't exactly expecting company, at least not in the form of a woman," he replied with a grimace as he leaned over, gathering the bottles in his arms and effectively putting one of his pits near my face as I sat on the couch.

"Edward, I mean this with the utmost respect and truly mean no offense, but damn dude, when was the last time you fucking showered? And what do you mean by 'at least not in the form of a woman'? Are you saying if I were a man, it would be perfectly fine? You bat for the other team now, Eddie?"

"You know, calling me Eddie pretty much gives me the right to call you 'Doll', and I'm pretty fucking sure that I might have mentioned something about not making me regret letting you into my house," he answered, narrowing his eyes at me over his shoulder before walking out of the room.

"Speaking of," I shouted with a smile, "your place is really nice!"

"And blatantly kissing my ass won't erase what you just said a moment ago, Doll," he said, appearing in the doorway to the living room with a smirk. "Can I get you a drink? Beer, water, juice?"

"As much as I'd love a beer, I still gotta drive back to Em's. Got any Dr. Pepper or Coke?"

"I've got Coke."

He then disappeared again. I winced, chastising myself for having mentioned Emmett again. I had seen Edward's face fall the moment his name left my lips. Just as I expected, too, Edward didn't seem angry or dangerous as Emmett had described. He, instead, appeared to be hurt and deeply affected by the turmoil, and that had kind of become clear when Edward became bitter outside about the mention of them telling me shit.

Breaking me from my thoughts, Edward's hand stretched out before me, offering up my Coke. I took it and watched as he plopped down into the leather chair off to my diagonal right. It was after he sat down and the light reflected off of his skin, that I began to see the dark, heavy rings beneath his eyes. The unhealthy way his cheeks were sunken in, showing the sickly effect that the drugs had on him. It would only get worse from there too, the longer he continued to take the drugs. Eventually–if it hadn't started already–his teeth would begin to deteriorate, break, and fall out. He would continue to grow slimmer and slimmer and it would just be a matter of time before he had a bad reaction and suffered from a massive heart attack.

I watched from the corner of my eye as Edward glanced down at his wrist watch, his hands fidgeting just as they had outside. After popping my Coke open and taking a quick sip, I lifted my eyes to his. "Edward, go. It's okay. There's no sense in you staying in here, uncomfortable and on edge when you have a fix in the next room."

Edward's eyes widened, but then narrowed…calculating. "How can you talk about that like it's _nothing_?" he questioned, accusingly. "What's your motive? Did they put you up to this? Send you over here to see just how fucked up I am?"

"Hey, chill the fuck out, Eddie. They didn't put me up to _anything_. I just got here today, and I don't do anything I don't want to do. And the reason I can talk about it like it's nothing is because, as I told you before, I know the signs. I don't think either of us want to go over our fucked up life stories, so can we just settle on catching up on the not so dramatic shit? Just go do what you need to do because I don't want you to sit here in pain and distracted. It's no fun that way."

"You talk too fucking much," Edward grumbled as he stood and walked away, back into the kitchen again.

Minutes later, he came back, wiping at his nose and smirking as he, once again, took his seat.

"So, since we're going to avoid our fucked up, dramatic shit, what does that leave us to discuss?" he questioned, taking a long pull from his beer.

"Well, you could always answer my questions from earlier?"

"You've had so many…like I said, you talk too much. Mind refreshing my memory?"

"Your b.o. might be a good place to start," I quipped as the corners of his mouth turned up and his eyes narrowed again.

"Right. Just been busy, and the times that I _have _been home, I've been asleep, something I was thoroughly enjoying before your ass rapped on my damn door."

"Seriously? That's your excuse? You've been _busy? _You couldn't come up with something better? Like your water heater is out, or you haven't been able to pay your water bill for the month?"

"One, it's really disturbing that you came up with that so fast, and two, I would much prefer my being busy than to not have paid the water bill and have no plumbing."

"But you _do _bat for the other team?"

"How the fuck do you get that from me talking about plumbing?" He laughed, taking yet another pull from the beer.

"Oh, it has nothing to do with that. I just simply noticed you haven't denied it."

"Believe me, Doll, I don't bat for the other team. I just don't ever have women here, haven't for years. And no, I won't elaborate, so don't ask," he muttered, arching a brow at me. "Enough about me, smart ass. What about you? How's your Dad? Where was it you guys moved to again?"

"Charlie's good. And we moved to a small town in Louisiana. I loved living there, but it just wasn't…_home._"

"Something happened there that made you come back, didn't it?"

"I thought we were avoiding the heavy shit, Eddie?"

"I was simply stating what I thought, Doll. Didn't mean for you to think you had to explain anything."

I released a heavy sigh. I knew he was genuine in not meaning to make me feel like I should explain, but maybe if I let him in just a little, he would see that I actually cared about getting to know him again. Not basing everything on what I'd heard about him.

"Look, I just got involved in a bunch of shit with the wrong people. I left because it wasn't good for Charlie's reputation as Police Chief if I stayed."

Edward's eyes softened for a brief moment and then dropped to his lap in shame. "If anyone would understand that, it would be me."

I didn't think I'd be overstepping any bounds in asking, but I wanted…no, needed to know why he wasn't there to welcome me back home with his family today. I wanted his side of the story.

"Edward, can I ask you something? You can even tell me to fuck off if you want."

"Depends on what the question is, Bella," he whispered. Don't think I didn't notice how he'd actually referred to me by my name and not 'Doll'.

"Why weren't you there today with everyone else?"

"Now see, if I tell you the truth behind that, it could influence your opinions of me or my family and I don't want to put you in the middle of all of this shit, Bella."

"You won't, okay? Come on, Edward. Tell me, please? It was the one thing that got in the way of this afternoon being perfect, and I really want to know."

His eyes raked over me before darting around the room, finally landing on a random spot of the stone fireplace, off in a corner of the room. A long pause ensued, and the more it stretched on, it became increasingly obvious that Edward was more emotionally shut off than I had originally thought.

"Okay, forget I said anything. I'm sorry. I didn't realize it was such a…"

"Alice didn't want me to taint such a happy occasion, and Emmett believed that I was high as a kite. Mom and Dad had no opinion–that I know of anyway," he answered, his voice nearly inaudible as he raked his hand through his hair.

"What do you mean by taint? Edward, I wanted you there, and she fucking knew that."

"It doesn't matter, Doll. I wanted to help, believe me, but I had no idea until you showed up at my door that it was you they'd helped move in. If I had known beforehand, I would have gone, not giving a shit what they had to say about it."

"Good, because you're coming with me tomorrow. I'll come pick you up."

"What's the point in that? They've already moved you in."

"No, today was actually just a reunion type thing. Emmett cooked out, we unloaded the truck, but nothing is unpacked. That and I still have a shitload of shopping to do. So, tomorrow, I'll come and pick you up and you can help if you want. If they have anything to say about it, then I'll shut them down. It's me that's moving in, and if I want you there, that's my decision. Not theirs."

Edward's eyes widened in surprise, he smiled, and then took another drink. "You might have a bit of trouble convincing Rosalie of that fact."

"I've already laid down the law with her, and we're cool. I don't step on her toes and she won't step on mine."

Edward then laughed. Like a full-bellied laugh and it sounded wonderful. "Are you serious?" he questioned.

I arched a brow and smirked.

"Holy shit, what I would give to have been there to see that. You realize that you're the only one that's ever done that right?"

"Well, that would explain why Emmett seemed shell shocked. I just don't get intimidated easily. But I mean it, Eddie. It won't be right without you there."

"Things aren't like they used to be, Doll. You don't want me there. It'll do nothing but start drama with the family."

"Newsflash, the last time I was here, and as far as I'm concerned, you _are _family. Like I said, if they have anything to say about it, I'll shut them down. Unless it'll make you uncomfortable. I don't want to make you feel like you _have _to go. Not if you really don't want to."

"That's not it, I promise. I guess you'll see what I mean tomorrow," he said with a sigh. "So, you're staying with Emmett, and not Alice…how'd that come about?"

"Originally, I was going to stay with Alice, but during the drive up from Louisiana, I'd had about as much of that fucking crack fairy as I could stand, so I decided I needed a night to decompress."

Okay, so it was a little white lie, but I wasn't about to humiliate him with the knowledge that I'd stayed with Emmett to learn about how fucked up Edward's life was.

"And all this shopping you've got to do, I assume Alice will be with you?"

"Her and Esme, though I wouldn't mind if you wanted to come with me a few time, you know?" I offered and couldn't help but laugh as he grimaced.

"I don't do shopping, Doll. Now, if you want someone to go with you for a cup of coffee one morning or a night out drinking, I'm your guy."

"You realize how fucking crazy this is, right?"

"What?"

"The Edward I remember was lanky, geeky, and nothing at all like you are now. To see you like this is just…weird."

"I could say the same for you. You were shy and quiet, and since you've been here, you've been anything _but_…" he chuckled wryly.

I laughed and playfully kicked my leg out, effectively hitting his shin. "What's with the ink and metal?" I questioned, gesturing toward his tattoo that was peeking from beneath his shirt and the polished steel of his nipple ring.

"The metal is a good example of why it's not smart to mix drugs with alcohol while out with a group of people. And the ink came from the same night."

"Okay, so if you didn't like it, why'd you keep it?"

"Well, once the fucking pain dulled, I thought it was pretty fucking cool. That and women seem to get off on it," he answered with an arrogant smirk, which did not so innocent things to my girly parts.

_Dammit, this is EDWARD! Stop thinking like that!_

"Yet you haven't had women here for years? How the fuck does that work?"

"I didn't say that I encouraged them. Women get off on it, when I'm out at bars and shit. I told you, I don't fucking bring them here."

"So, is it a common occurrence for you to go to bars, flaunting your nipple ring for all to see? Don't most bars have rules about no shirt, no shoes, no service?"

"Damn, the south fucked you up, didn't they, Doll?"

"I'll have you know that I worked at a bar for years, and I _know _we aren't the only place that enforces that rules, jackass."

"There's such a thing we have down here called body shots," Edward replied, his voice raspy with the same hint of sarcasm I'd gotten from him all night.

"Ha ha ha. You're so fucking funny. You really are fucking confusing, you know that? Which is it? Are you just a manwhore that has random fucks away from home or what?"

"That's a bit personal, don't you think?" he stated lowly, clearly not playing.

"No, not at all. Given the nature of what we've been talking about and the things you've said, I think I raise a valid question," I answered folding my arms across my chest.

"Fine," he growled, leaning forward in his chair and placing his elbows on his knees. "No, I am _not _a fucking manwhore. I was just pulling your damn leg. I go to the bars and when it gets hot, I might wear my shirt open like it is now. I have no interest in doing anything with anybody. So can we drop it?"

"No need to get your fucking panties in a bunch. Just asking a question, and obviously, I've overstayed my welcome. I guess I'll uh…talk to you later, Eddie." I started to get up, feeling somewhat guilty for pushing him because I'd willingly admit, I may have gone a bit too far.

"Wait, Bella, look, I told you that you had a big mouth. I just…"

"You like your privacy, I get that, okay? You don't have to explain anything to me," I told him with a reassuring smile as I rose to stand.

"Doesn't mean that I don't feel like an ass. I'm just not used to talking to anybody outside of my connections. If the offer still stands, I really would like to help you move in tomorrow."

"Of course it still stands. I'll come by and pick you up sometime early afternoon. Can you put your number in my phone so I'll have a way to call you and give you a heads up?"

"Early afternoon? You mean that Alice doesn't have you on a schedule that starts at six in the morning?"

"After the shit she pulled this morning and the way I reamed her for it both then, and before I went to Emmett's, I'd be really surprised if she dared to try that shit on me again. I wake up on my own time, and whenever that may be tomorrow, I'll call you, k?"

"It's going to be nice having you around, you know that?" he laughed as he took my phone from my hand.

"Listen, Edward, in all honesty, if I say something that offends you or I push too hard about certain things, just tell me okay? I don't want you to misunderstand me or anything."

"Correct me if I'm wrong, Doll, but you don't strike me as the type that would give a shit about what anyone thinks. Why would what I think matter?"

"Because I think you've been dealt a shitty hand, and having been there before, I don't want to add to it."

With that, he handed my phone back to me. I tucked it back in my pocket and made my way to my truck. Edward stood on his porch as he watched me drive away. The last thing I saw before he faded into nothing behind the trees was him giving a wave in my rearview mirror.

Just as I had suspected, Edward wasn't nearly as bad as Emmett had made him out to be. Of course I wasn't referring to his addiction because there was no doubt that Edward was indeed addicted. And honestly, it had been a bit painful to see him like that, remembering what it felt like needing a fix just to feel even the smallest bit of normalcy. But in regard to him being dangerous, I didn't get that vibe from him at all.

Now that I'd actually seen him, the anxiety had dwindled and I was left reflecting on exactly how I'd acted today with the rest of the family. I couldn't say that I regretted anything I'd said, but I did have an inkling of regret over the way in which I'd gone about saying and doing things. There was no doubt in my mind that they had all suffered, and while I didn't agree with over half of the story Emmett had told me, they were still my family. I just needed to make them understand that I wouldn't cast Edward aside as they had done so blatantly. They were just going to have to make fucking do with the fact that he was going to be around.

It would be entirely up to them whether they wanted to be around me while I hung out with Edward, but I wasn't going to single anybody out just because they didn't get along. I wanted them all with me, so I was going to leave it up to Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Jasper, Rose and Emmett. Edward wouldn't mind being around them. From what I had gathered from the way he'd talked about them, he actually missed them.

I completely sympathized with him on that note too. Had Charlie have turned his back on me, I'm not sure what I would have done, but I know for sure that I never would have gotten clean and my heart would have shattered a little more each day he shunned me. That's part of why I was so adamant on being there for Edward. Was I saying that I would agree with everything he did? No, and that wasn't what all of this shit was about.

This all boiled down to _family. _Regardless of what fucking goes wrong in someone's life, there should always be someone whose shoulder you could cry on, that would love you unconditionally. Apparently, somewhere along the way, this family had lost sight of that and had put their careers and reputations above the needs of their loved ones.

I would try my fucking hardest to be there for them all and try to understand everyone's feelings, but the moment Alice or Carlisle mentioned their reps being on the line or some bull like that, the shit was going to hit the fucking fan.

So there you have it, I was done–for now–venting my anger. I could only hope that eventually, things would change and they would all come together again.

There was no denying that Edward needed help, but one of the main things the Cullens needed to fucking understand was that until a drug addict was truly ready to change, no amount of rehabilitation would work. They had to want the change for themselves. I'd learned that the hard way. And until Edward reached that point, they needed to accept him the way he was, whether they fucking liked it or not.

Call me a bitch, I really don't care, but that's the way I saw things and there was no one who could tell me any different.

**Okay, I know it was a bit shorter, but the next chapter will be much longer, I promise! **

**This was the most logical place to stop.**

**I'm still completely stunned by the response I've received so far! So thanks to all that have rec'd it and for all my readers and reviewers! You guys are awesome!**

**Leave some love! **


	7. Chapter 6

**Before we get to the chapter, HUGE shout out to Indie Fic Pimp for having pimped this out for me last week, and to Dragonfly for having written the review. You girls freaking ROCK! **

**Also, thanks to all that voted for C&B at the Notebook and helped to make it one of three Fics of the Month! **

**And of course to my bb, Kyla, who does a lot of pre-reading for me, you are awesome and I flove you! So glad to have found a friend in you!**

**That's it for now, see you at the bottom! **

**BPOV**

Just as I knew he would be, Emmett was waiting up for me when I walked through the door. I simply moved past him and set my purse down on one of the barstools. Not in any hurry, I also helped myself to a glass of water before he came walking in, arms folded across his chest and an eyebrow arched.

"Where's Rose?" I questioned nonchalantly.

"She headed to bed. She wanted to wait up for you, but we weren't expecting you to be gone so long."

"Don't get fucking cocky with me, Em. I wasn't even there that long, an hour at the most. And besides, it's not like he lives five minutes away. It took me forever to find the place."

"Well?" he asked in an obnoxious tone. If he wasn't twice my fucking size, I'd have been tempted to knock him in his mouth. I didn't answer to him, and I'd be damned if I let him think I did.

"Well what? Is this where you interrogate me about your supposed _dangerous _and horrible brother?" I snapped.

"Why are you getting so damn bitchy with me, Bella? You're acting like I'm the bad guy here."

"This isn't about anyone being the bad guy, but when I walk through the door and you start fucking demanding answers without so much as saying hi, I'm going to get pissy."

"All right, apparently I went about it the wrong way. How was he?"

"Edward's fine. Shocked the hell out of him once he figured out who I was, but everything was great. It was good seeing him, so thank you for giving me his address."

"You mean that he actually carried on a normal conversation with you, completely coherent?" he scoffed, leaning his hip against the kitchen counter.

In aggravation, I slammed my water down on the counter and took in a deep breath. "Okay, Emmett, I'm going to tell you something, and I need you to _really _hear me because I'm only saying this once. I won't and can't begin to imagine or know all that you guys have been through with Edward, but he's _not _an animal. He's your brother…your blood. And in my eyes, he's still my family. Always will be. I'm not going to tell you all how to feel, and I expect the same in return. I don't want to hear how awful you all believe him to be, because after tonight, I simply don't see it in him. He wasn't fucked up, he wasn't irate…he was completely coherent and actually fun to talk to. In fact, you should probably know and pass on to the rest of the family that I'll be picking Edward up in the morning, and he'll be coming to help me finish moving in."

I watched as Emmett's eyes narrowed and his jaw flexed, his face reddening considerably. "You can't do that, Bella," he rasped.

"The hell I can't," I growled. "I'm the one moving in. I'm not doing this to hurt anyone or cause any drama, Emmett. I won't exclude him. He wanted to be there today, and I could tell that he was hurt he wasn't included. I highly doubt he'll say or start anything with anyone because from what I could tell, he misses you guys. I need you to promise me that you'll try and make the best of tomorrow, without making a scene."

"I can't promise that, Bella. I'll try, but you have no idea what the hell you're doing. We've dealt with his bullshit for the past two and a half years. He's inflicted more hurt and shame on our family than you could ever imagine…"

"In whose eyes?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him. "I won't pick sides, Emmett. I refuse to exclude him just for everyone else's benefit when _I _want him there. I want to be around him…around my family. Anyone that can't deal with that can leave when the tension gets to be too much. All I'm asking you to do is _try_ and make it work, okay?" I finished with a heavy sigh.

"Don't you think I have?" he exclaimed, raising his voice at me.

"Don't yell at me. I wasn't talking about trying to get him help, though that wouldn't hurt; I was talking about trying to be around him without letting your animosity get in the way."

"If he stays the fuck out of my way, we'll be fine," he huffed and then crossed the room to stand before me as I glared at him. "Bella, please, I don't want to argue with you or have this get in the way of us getting to know you again."

"Then don't let it, Emmett. I want to spend time with all of you, but it's not fair for you to expect me not to include Edward just because it makes you uncomfortable. I would appreciate it if you can fill the family in for me tomorrow morning since I'll be swinging by his place to get him before heading over to the house."

"I can tell you right now that Alice is going to have a hell of a lot more to say regarding this than I did."

"Believe me, I know that, and I'll deal with her when I get there. I really mean no offense to any of you by inviting him, Emmett, but I'm not cutting him out."

"Okay, okay, I get it, Tiger. You wanna have a beer with me outside?"

I could tell from the smirk on his face that this was his idea of a peace offering and I couldn't help but smile. "Sure. After today, I think just one may not be enough though," I added with a laugh as he grabbed our beers and headed out onto the porch.

**C&B**

Remember me talking about someone up in the heavens above us, laughing their fucking asses off? Well, apparently, the joke on me now included fucking with my sleeping pattern. I thought that I'd actually be allowed to sleep in a bit this morning and wake on my own time, but hell no; I woke to two boys screaming at the top of their lungs outside my bedroom door about which Power Ranger was the most 'kick-butt'. Again, I remind you that I don't necessarily like children, especially those that fucking wake me up and give me a pounding headache at…_fuck! _I glanced over at my alarm clock, noticing it was seven in the morning.

Emmett had warned me to have an extra pillow to smother my head with to drown out the sound of Alice and Jasper, but he had neglected to mention that I'd need one here as well. I turned onto my side and wrapped my head in the only pillow I had, which I quickly realized was ineffective. I tried several more strategies and finally gave up nearly fifteen minutes later.

As a form of payback for some of the havoc Emmett and Edward had wreaked on Alice and I as kids, I grabbed my phone and grumbled as sent Edward a text.

**If for any reason I someday express a desire for wanting kids, BITCHSLAP me –BS**

I smirked when he replied with a very colorful and sarcastic remark…nearly ten minutes later.

**I'd be glad to, Doll. Is the BS supposed to stand for bullshit? And was it really fucking necessary for you to wake my ass up for this shit? -E**

About thirty minutes passed before I drug myself out of bed and trudged into kitchen. Emmett was standing next to the counter fixing himself a cup of coffee as his kids chased each other around the kitchen table, each carrying plastic swords and wearing identical pairs of Power Ranger pajamas. I instantly noticed the uncanny resemblance between them and Emmett, which really brought me back to my childhood.

"Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes," Emmett said with a laugh. "I didn't think you'd be up for another couple of hours."

"I didn't either, but I couldn't sleep."

"Oh man, did the boys wake you up?" he questioned, his eyes expressing worry.

Despite my shitty mood, I couldn't bring myself to give him a guilt trip so I plastered a fake-as-all-get-out smile on my face. "No, I was just restless," I answered and glanced around the kitchen. "Rose still in bed?"

"Yeah, but she should be getting up pretty soon. You want some breakfast? I can cook up something."

"Nah, that's okay, Em. I'm just going to go get ready. I'll swing by and get some coffee on the way to pick up Edward. Have you heard from Alice?"

"Yep. Midge called bright and early around five. She said that since she wasn't supposed to call you, she'd call me instead to remind me to wake you up. Just so you know, I let you continue sleeping. She actually wanted me to wake you up right then."

"I swear," I growled. "If I didn't want to get moved in so badly, I seriously wouldn't show up until one or two, just to piss her off. Did you get a chance to warn her about Edward coming?"

"Uh, no and the reason for that is because I honestly didn't want to listen to her bitch that early in the morning. When you go after him, I'll just fill everyone in at the same time. Makes it a whole lot easier."

I wasn't sure what had happened between the time we went to bed and just now, but that was probably the calmest I'd seen Emmett, or anyone else for that matter, react to the mention of Edward's name. I wasn't going to question him about it though. Hopefully, he'd come to some kind of fucking peace with what I had said last night.

We talked for a few more minutes, he introduced me to the boys and I then disappeared back into the bedroom to get ready. Before putting my shoes on, I texted Edward back.

**HA HA…you're funny. *eye roll* It stands for Bella Swan, shithead. And yes, it was completely necessary. You should be thankful I had the fucking decency to text you instead of calling. I'll be there in the next forty so do me a fucking favor, shower in the meantime. –BS**

And just as I grabbed my keys and began to walk out of the room, my phone buzzed again.

**You're a bitch, you know that? –E**

**;) Shut the fuck up and take a damn shower. –BS**

EPOV

Bella. Fucking. Swan. I wasn't sure if the joke was on me or her when it came to her coming back into my life. I certainly wasn't expecting the take-no-bullshit attitude that she seemed to have now. Although we'd only reconnected last night, every time I thought I knew what she would say next, she completely said the fucking opposite.

And who the fuck was she to tell me that I needed to shower? My hygiene was great, wasn't it?

Oh hell…damn…DUDE…I thought and cringed away as I lifted my arm and sniffed my pit. That shit just wasn't right. What the fuck had I been doing for the past week, and when was the last time I actually showered?

Oh, right…I'd been on a job and then dove, head-first, into the first stage of withdrawals. Actually, I was fucking surprised I remembered anything from our conversation last night, what with the amount of alcohol and number of pills I'd taken.

One thing was for fucking sure, I needed to jump in the damn shower and do it before she got here because if I showed up to help her move in looking and smelling like I did now, I'd never hear the fucking end of it from the family. They already had more than enough ammunition to come at me with; the last thing I wanted, or needed, to do was give them another reason. What I hoped for more than anything, though it would never happen, was for my Mom or Dad to–just once–seem like they were happy to see me, to tell me that I looked good and at the very least, wrap their arms around me. Instead, I was fucking treated as though I had some kind of highly contagious, incurable disease.

I forced myself out of bed and headed to the kitchen, my anxiety and addiction filling me with the need for another fix. Once I felt the drugs wash over me like a cool drink of water, I managed to get in the shower. I couldn't keep my fucking head from going into full-on panic mode. I wasn't even completely sure why I was freaking the fuck out. It revolved around my trust issues, of that much I knew. I couldn't help the nagging feeling in my gut that told me my family would stop at nothing to turn Bella against me. For once though, I wanted my gut to be fucking wrong.

I hardly knew her, but her spunky personality and willingness to go head to head with me was a nice change to my fucked up life. And that was only after an hour or so of conversation. The panic majorly set in when I thought about what that could mean. If she was able to affect me so much in such a short span of time, I feared what damage Bella could possibly inflict on me over a longer span of time. I didn't want to dwell on shit like that though because it fucked with my head relentlessly and seriously darkened my outlook on everything, taking over my life. If I began to lean on her, put my trust in her and then she turned her back on me, I wouldn't be able to take it. And I didn't want to go so far as to fucking say that it was only because of Bella; it could be anybody. That's why I had refrained from talking to anyone about anything other than my fucking bullshit job, and why I absolutely refused to let anyone close to me.

Letting someone in my head or heart would leave me vulnerable. I didn't do well with vulnerability. In the line of work that Aro had me doing, that was something I couldn't afford to have. And with the job I had, caring about someone was just as risky. It caused carelessness and with my track record, it made me make mistakes I wouldn't have normally made.

As I stood in the shower, my body began to fucking tremble. The stress and anxiety were getting to me and obviously, the fix I'd taken about twenty minutes ago hadn't been enough to ward the feeling off. I quickly turned off the water, wrapped the towel 'round my waist, and hurried to the kitchen, desperate to feel some kind of fucking reprieve from the hell going on in my mind. Before I could even wipe the excess debris from my nostrils, there was a knock at the door.

Bella was the only person I was expecting, so it had to be her. Considering that it would take me forever to find a pair of jeans that I didn't mind getting fucked up, I didn't want to leave her waiting on my doorstep. That and I had a sneaking suspicion she'd kick my ass for that shit, so I answered the door.

In nothing but a fucking towel.

I could only hope that other parts of my body fucking behaved long enough for me to invite her in and escape to the bedroom to finish getting dressed.

Big mistake.

I opened the door and two things happened at once: Bella knocked on the fucking bridge of my nose as she looked over her shoulder, and me–blinded by the pain in my nose–dropped the blasted towel.

Yeah, laugh it the fuck up. It wasn't near as funny as it sounds.

"Shit! Dammit, don't turn around!" I hollered, but did she fucking listen? No.

"_Oh for the love of fucking…" _Bella shouted as she turned and bolted off of my porch. And I was just arrogant enough to notice that she had hesitated for a split second when she'd looked down and saw my junk. Bella's eyes had said one thing, but her reaction was something else entirely.

I quickly pulled up the towel back up and tight around my waist. "Okay, its safe, and totally not my fucking fault by the way. If you hadn't rammed your fist into my nose, I wouldn't have lost my grip on the towel."

She narrowed her eyes at me and stalked past me into the house. It was then that I noticed she was carrying a drink and bag in one hand. "What the hell are you doing answering your door in that, anyway? Have you no shame at all?" she muttered.

"Well, a bitch woke me up this morning and demanded I take a fucking shower. I had just stepped out of said shower when you knocked on my damn door. Instead of leaving you waiting outside, I figured I'd just let you in and then go get dressed, which is what I'm about to fucking do now, so if you'll excuse me."

"Hey, Eddie," she called out as I turned my back. Before I even knew what the fuck was happening, she'd grabbed hold of my shoulder, spun me around, and successfully and forcefully launched her fucking knee at my balls, bringing me to my knees. "Don't fucking call me a bitch," she whispered lowly next to my ear as she bent over me.

"Was that really necessary?" I questioned, my voice barely cooperating as I very slowly brought myself back to my feet, wincing from the shooting pains radiating in my groin.

Bella then turned back and narrowed her eyes at me once again. My hands instinctively flew south to protect the goods. "Your hair smells good. What shampoo are you using?"

_What the fuck? _Was this chick for real? My mouth gaped as I studied her for a minute then went to my bedroom without a word. First, she nearly knocks my ass out by mistaking my head for a door, then she knees me in the balls for calling a bitch, which I'd only called her that as a joke to begin with, and then she turns around seconds later and asks what kind of fucking shampoo I used? As I said before, Bella was freaking unpredictable and I was now even more nervous than before about what would not only come from today, but from our weird friendship as well.

It was the strangest thing to me. I fucking grew up with that girl, up until we turned thirteen. Back then, I'd known her like the back of my hand. I literally knew everything about her, even some things that would freak her the fuck out if she knew I knew. But now, while it was definitely her, I didn't know the first fucking thing about her. All I knew was what I'd learned since last night. She had a smart mouth, took no shit, and packed a punch, both with her knee and her fist. Oh, and she'd now seen me fucking naked, albeit it was unintentional.

Once I'd managed to get dressed, I hurried back to the kitchen, where I had left her. I found her instead, walking around the living room, looking at pictures that adorned my walls and shelves. Pictures that I should have taken down long ago but never could find the heart to. Pictures from the last point in my life I could remember being happy; the day I opened up the practice with Dad.

I wasn't even sure anymore whether or not I was still fucking allowed to call him Dad. I quickly turned my attention away from the pictures and glanced at Bella. "You want something to drink before we head out, Doll?"

"Huh?" she questioned, shaking her head. She had obviously zoned out. "No, actually, I brought you a bit of a peace offering for having woke you up so early this morning. There are a few donuts and a muffin in the bag. I got you a cup of coffee too, but it's black because I didn't know how you liked yours."

"No shit?" I exclaimed. Call me a fucking pansy but this was the first time anyone had brought me breakfast just for the fuck of it. That and it sure as hell beat my usual of juice and eggs. "You know I was only bullshitting when I referred to you as a bitch, right?"

"Nope, I'm a bitch, Eddie. I'll be one of the first to admit that fact, but just because I am one doesn't make it okay for others to call me out as such."

I shook my head at her and laughed to myself. Unpredictable…in every form of the word.

"So, does everyone know yet?"

"Know what?"

"That their day is about to go to shit," I mumbled as I grabbed at the bag of food Bella had placed on my counter.

"Don't talk about yourself like that, Edward. I've laid down everything to Emmett, and he's in the process of telling everyone right now. I told him last night that if anybody has a problem with it or starts any shit, they can leave. I don't want to start anything with any of you, but I won't have this picking sides bullshit. I want to be around you, and I want to be around them as well. If they have a problem with it, no one is forcing them to be there."

"You don't realize exactly what you've come home to, Doll. The people that we were when you and Charlie first left…those people are fucking gone," I told her with a wry chuckle and began to fix my coffee.

"Emmett told me quite a bit about what's gone on the past couple of years, but as I told you last night, all I've heard is his side and I can't help but think that his side isn't accurate to what really went down. And you don't have to tell me that you guys aren't the same; I picked up on that shit just by talking to Alice on the phone the past couple of months. I'm not going to push you into telling me anything, Edward. That's not why I'm here, okay?"

"I don't think that's why you're here, Doll. I just want you be prepared and know what you're getting yourself into. I'm not going to pull you one way or the other, but I can't say the same for the rest of the family. They'll do everything they can to keep you from being around me. To them, I'm nothing but a low-life thug that just so happens to fucking share their last name."

With that, I put the lid back on my coffee, grabbed the bag Bella brought to go, and gestured to her with my head that I was ready to go. Bella arched a brow at me and put her hand against my chest, stopping me in my path. "And you believe them, don't you?" she asked, her voice softening.

"What's there to believe, Bella? It's what I am." I quickly side-stepped her and made my way out to her truck before she could argue. "You drove all the way from Louisiana in this fucking death trap?"

I needed to change the subject. The conversation we had been about to start in the house was not a good place for me to go. I didn't like talking about it anymore than my family liked having me around. It was nothing against Bella, but it all goes back to my trust issues and not letting anyone in.

That, and it's not like I was pulling something out of my ass with the whole truck being a death trap thing; the fucker was ancient. Bella unlocked the doors and glared at me as I climbed in beside her.

"One, don't call my fucking truck a death trap because it's not. I'll have you know that she drives just fine and got me here with no trouble whatsoever. Also, don't think I didn't notice how quickly you changed the subject. I'll let it go for now because you obviously don't want to talk about it, but for the record, even after hearing Emmett's bullshit, I don't think that of you and I honestly don't see how they could either, regardless of what you've supposedly done." Bella then started up the dinosaur she called a truck and turned to look at me as she pulled out of the driveway. "Thanks for washing that rank ass funk off too, which by the way, the little stunt you pulled at the front door…don't do that shit again. I think you fucking scarred me for life."

I couldn't help but laugh my ass off at that. "Don't even try to pretend you didn't pop a glance because I fucking saw you. It's not like you'd never seen a naked man before, right?"

"Uh, Eddie, I'm going to pretend you never started that conversation because that's just all kinds of fucked up. Are you trying to give me nightmares? Tell me you don't answer the door like that on a regular basis."

"Oh yeah, cause answering the door with my junk hanging out totally gets the mailman off…shit," I answered rolling my eyes.

"And you say _I'm _a bitch?" she laughed.

"I can't fucking believe you kneed me in the balls. Charlie obviously taught you well."

"Actually, it wasn't Charlie, believe it or not. He taught me how to handle a gun, but the self-defense came from some other guys at the station. Whoever happened to be around when I got off work posed as my teacher."

"You worked at the station?" I questioned, praying to whoever the fuck was up there that she wasn't a fucking cop.

"Yeah, I was more or less Charlie's assistant slash receptionist. Things got pretty busy with drug crimes, murders and shit that he couldn't handle all the paperwork and stuff on his own. He brought me in to help and before you ask, no, I'm not a damn cop. I didn't actually do any training at an academy or anything like that."

"Cops actually have receptionists? Damn, did you get paid well?"

"Actually, no. I made triple what Charlie paid me in tips from the bar, and quadruple that from what I earned while my bakery was open."

This girl got more and more complicated as I learned about her. What else could she possibly have hidden in her sleeve that I didn't yet know about?

"Okay, hold up, Doll. Explain something to me, how the hell do you go from being a receptionist to the Chief of Police, to…what did you do at the bar?"

"I was a bartender."

"Fuck, so you were a receptionist, a bartender, and now you're telling me that you owned a fucking _bakery_? What else do you have under your belt?"

"I believe what's under my belt is my business, Eddie, and just you, someone I look to as a brother, asking something like that creeps me the fuck out."

"You know damn good and well that wasn't what I was implying; contrary to popular belief, incest isn't my thing, Doll."

"Contrary to…you mean people actually think you…never mind. I don't even want to fucking know."

**C&B**

Sometime later, Bella finally pulled the dinosaur up along the curb of a cute, red brick house. And I can't fucking believe I used the word _cute_ to describe it. Before I could even open my door, I noticed my very angry sister making a mad dash towards the truck.

"Shit, Bella, I told you this wasn't a good idea," I muttered as I hung my head in defeat. My heart twisted in my chest, still weak even with the fortress I'd built around it. No matter how hard I tried to block it out, my family's anger and resentment for me always brought me to a low. Nothing could make me feel as small as the criticisms and shit they threw at me.

"What?" Bella asked as I pointed out the window. I watched as Bella's eyes widened and then set in determination as she got out of the truck, slamming the door shut. I wasn't sure whether to be afraid or try to fucking talk her out of whatever she was about to do.

I didn't have time to think about it for long because Alice pounded her fucking small ass fists against the window, shouting at me. "_What the fuck are you doing here? I warned you, you piece of shit!_"

I couldn't look at her. I just set my eyes to focus straight ahead, fighting the tears that threatened to spill. The screaming continued only for a second before I willed myself to tune it out. She wasn't screaming anything at me that I hadn't heard hundreds of times before, and if Alice was this pissed off, I knew Emmett and Jasper would be double that. And what fucking sucked was that due to Bella and I's bickering at each other, I'd flat fucking forgotten to grab a few pills to get me through the day.

I was completely fucked, and it was highly possible that I'd lose my cool and show Bella the not so pleasant side of me, the side I was sure Emmett had warned her about.

I knew that it was only a matter of time before Bella was spewing the same insults at me.

I shoved those thoughts to the back of my mind and turned my attention to the confrontation just outside the passenger side door. Bella was letting Alice have it and seeing that made me feel like a big piece of fucking shit. She had just moved back to town, was–from what I could tell–elated to be back with us again. Yet, instead of being able to enjoy her reunion with us, she was stuck in the middle of this shit storm that I had fucking caused. I had already made everyone who had once cared about me fucking miserable, and now, Bella was going to inevitably be drug down as well.

I couldn't help it. Despite how much I wished I could tell her to fuck off and forget about me, that I wasn't worth her time, I couldn't. It was obvious to me that no matter what I said to her, Bella wouldn't back off without a fight. And that fucking sucked. I didn't want to watch someone else's heart break and life fall apart because they'd wasted time with my sorry ass. Would I ever intentionally put her in danger? Fuck no, but Bella's life being in danger would be unavoidable just for simply being an acquaintance of mine. Not to mention that the drugs were something she shouldn't be subjected to.

Having had enough, and deciding that it was time for me to get out of the truck and face the fucking music, I opened the door and was shocked to find that Bella was now in Alice's face.

"You listen to me, dammit. I'm not forcing anyone to makeup, but I wanted Edward here. I invited him here and if you or anyone else has a problem, no one is making you stay. If you don't want to talk to him, fine, I'm not saying you have to, but I'll be damned if I'm going to let you dictate to me who I can and cannot associate with, or who can and cannot help _me _move in! Now, you know I love you, Alice; you're my sister, but I refuse to do this. As I told Emmett, I'm not choosing sides, so don't make me."

Bella's chest was heaving with anger as she stared Alice down. Alice glared at me over her shoulder and for the first time ever–that I'd seen anyway–she turned and walked away without uttering a single word. Bella then fixed her eyes on me and her shoulders slumped. I started to suggest that she just take me home, that I wasn't worth all this turmoil but she narrowed her eyes at me.

"Stop right fucking there, Eddie. I'm not taking you home. This is my house and I make the rules. I want you here; I'm not letting anyone tell me how to live my fucking life. Now, are you ready to get to work?"

"Who are you and what the hell happened to the Bella I used to know?" I asked her with wide eyes, not believing she was the same person.

"That Bella is gone. She grew up way too fucking fast and was exposed to the dark side of life in the worst way. Trust me, she isn't coming back."

Well, if I wasn't intrigued by her before, I sure as fuck was now. And what confused the shit out of me was the overwhelming feeling of protectiveness that settled over me. If I found out that someone had fucking hurt her, I'd hunt the son of a bitch down. No one fucked with Bella; that was something that would never change. Just like when we were kids, the asshole would have to answer to me. Somehow, someway, I was going to have to try and get her to open up to me because if anyone knew about growing up too fast or being exposed to the dark side of life, it would be me. The only problem was…I never found my way out of the dark side, and with the way my life was now, I never would.

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed it! It took a while to get this out as RL has been crazy. There's literally been something that has happened every week for the past month. **

**I am going out of town this weekend and will have an update for you next week. And for those reading BE, an update is coming…I SWEAR! **

**So what do you think Edward should do? Should he keep Bella at arms' length and not involve her in his screwed up life? How do you think Bella reacted to Edward dropping the towel? **

**Leave me some love!**

**T**


	8. Chapter 7

**This chapter came a little late as I was out of town last weekend for a funeral and then this week has just been packed FULL.**

**Hope you enjoy it and see you all at the bottom!**

**DISCLAIMER: I sadly do not own any of these characters; they belong to that lucky wench Stephenie Meyer. I'm merely borrowing them for a while.**

**BPOV**

Things were significantly worse than I expected. There wasn't just drama between Edward and everyone else. Drama was a huge understatement; the family was downright fucking hateful to him. It made me sick and really fucking pissed me off. Edward literally stuck to me like glue, not that it bothered me because it didn't.

Alice's abominably bitchy display out on my front lawn had not only crossed a line, but it had deeply affected Edward. He hadn't said anything to me about it, but he didn't need to–it was written all over his face and set in his mannerisms. He glanced at me for a brief moment, and as he attempted to make eye contact with Alice, she fucking bitched at him for even looking her way so he'd averted his gaze toward the front porch. There he found Emmett with his arms folded across his chest, glaring fiercely at him. Carlisle just looked on and shook his head in disapproval, disgust upon his face. Esme cried and refused to look at him, and Jasper stood straight-faced, almost as if he had no opinion or response.

Seeing that this was how they truly treated him, it made my stomach clench and my heart ache for the pain he had endure by their hands. That wasn't to say that they hadn't suffered from Edward's condition, but I knew deep in my heart that had it have been one of them struggling with an addiction such as Edward's, he'd have never turned his back on them and treated them so dispicably. Despite his problems, Edward's heart was gold, and for me, that was easy to see. Why his own parents and siblings couldn't was beyond me.

Edward heavily sighed beside me and started to fidget with his fingers. "Hey, don't go getting all fucking soft on me now, okay? Come on, let's go inside and start unpacking." I then looped my arm through his and started to kind of do this skippy thing across the yard.

"Hold up, Doll," Edward said with a chuckle. "They already know I'm a drug addicted thug, the last thing I want is them believing me to be a fucking fairy, okay? Stop with the damn skipping."

"Quit deprecating yourself, please? And just because you're afraid of what everyone will think of you skipping across my yard doesn't mean you have to rain on my parade. Have a little fun, Eddie!" I was actually happy now, having everyone in the same place, regardless of all the tension and animosity buzzing around us.

I pulled Edward with me onto the front porch where the gang seemed to form a wall, blocking the entrance to my house. That shit was _not _fucking happening.

"Excuse me, Carlisle, Emmett, we need to get through," I gritted out as Edward took my hand and began to grip it fiercely.

"And we'll be happy to let you pass after we search him," Carlisle spoke calmly, looking directly at Edward, who sighed heavily and released my hand, ready to assume whatever position. Apparently this was a normal thing to have happen.

"Search?" I guffawed. "Are you fucking kidding me? This is a joke, right?" I laughed disbelievingly as I darted my eyes from Emmett, to Carlisle, then to Edward. "You're actually going to stand there, blocking the entrance to _my house _and forbid us from going anything further until you what? Scope him out for what you think he might have on him? Humiliate him in front of any passer-by and any neighbor that just so happens to be looking out their windows? Get over yourself. It's not happening here, or anywhere else for that matter! Edward's done nothing but show up with me to help us unpack my stuff. There's nothing on him, and even if there was, it's none of your business. You all are on my property, and I'm not going to allow that shit here. So I say again, excuse us!"

Carlisle still wouldn't move, and instead, had the audacity to look disappointedly at me. "Bella, I may have tolerated your outburst yesterday, but not this time. You have no idea what you're talking about, and you know that your father would not approve of your beh…"

"_My father _would be proud of me for standing up for what I believe is right. What you're doing to Edward is not. He hasn't even spoken a single word, and you all are ready to jump on him with accusations! And I _do _know what's going on. In fact, I pretty much know everything and to be quite honest, I know a hell of a lot more about what's going on with Edward than you may think," I answered angrily as I caught Edward's eyes narrow into thin slits out of the corner of my eye. Carlisle stood wide-eyed. "I apologized for yesterday, but I won't apologize for this. I've done nothing wrong, and neither has Edward. If you can't handle being around him, then by all means, leave and we'll do it on our own, but don't you dare try to prevent me from entering my own home."

I then cast my eyes over onto Alice and Emmett who both looked furious. "And I'm warning you two now; don't try to come at me about this, because I won't listen to it. I arrived home to find you all waiting to pounce on us and Alice making a beeline for my fucking truck like a damn maniac, and for what? All because I invited your _brother, _your _son, _over to help me move in. Why the fuck am I the only one who sees something wrong with this picture?"

Without another word, I strongly grasped Edward's hand and pulled him behind me as I pushed past Carlisle and into my house. As I made it to the back room, I released his hand and leaned back against the wall beside the door frame, resting my hands on my knees and taking in a deep breath.

"I wish you would have listened to me, Doll. I'm not worth it. This shit with Mom and Dad, Alice and Emmett wouldn't even be fucking happening if it weren't for me. I don't want to be the reason that they turn their back on you; I've ruined enough lives already."

"God dammit! Eddie, knock that shit off! This isn't your fault! It's theirs. If they would just get the fuck over themselves, grow a pair and agree to work together, everything would be fine. The problem is that they want to run the show, and they think that because they have this animosity with you, that I should just bow down and shun you too. It's not going to happen. I've spent more of my life than I care to remember letting someone else tell me what to do, letting someone else run my life. I'm done with it."

"Okay, I can understand that, but maybe you should just take me home. All I'm going to do is make it harder on you today, and I don't want to do that. Besides, I forgot my fucking stash so when I need a fix, I'll be fucked," he said with nervousness as he raked a hand through his hair.

"Then you'll take my truck to go and get a fix, but I really don't want to bring you home. To do that would be letting them win. They've made it clear they don't want you here, and I refuse to give in."

"Bella, why are you doing this? You're blatantly fighting against them when you know damn good and well that all of the anger and hurt they feel is because of me."

"True as that may be, Edward, you are still family, and you always will be. I don't agree with the way they've completely shut you out, and I don't like the way they treat you. That and…well, I know exactly what it's like for you," I whispered as he came to stand beside me.

"Am I to assume you'll tell me what you fucking mean by that later?" he ground out, pressing his palm against his forehead in frustration.

"Assume what you want. Now are you gonna help me unpack or what?"

"I'm going to say something now, and I hope you don't decide to nail me in the balls again, but not only are you fucking bitchy, you're bossy as all hell."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Bossy? That's the best you could come up with?" I chuckled with a shake of my head. "I just don't fuck around; that's all. Listen, in all seriousness, if it gets to a point where you just can't take any more of their shit and want to go home, I'll take you, okay? I just don't want to do it for the sole purpose of making it easier on them."

"So, do you think it would be a bad idea to go and do a line on your kitchen counter where all the world can see?"

I immediately stood ramrod straight and glared at him. Just as I was about to argue and threaten the bastard, he took me off guard and completely blindsided me. A crooked smile stretched across his face as he softly laughed and shook his head. My heart stopped for a moment from the sheer beauty of it, and I prayed I do that more often.

After only one day of reuniting, I was officially giving up on the like-a-brother reference I'd always used with him, because ladies and gents, I was one hundred percent fucked. And the worst part about that was, I was in no way ready for these feelings, much less a fucking attraction.

Oh, and speaking of attraction, that shit that he pulled earlier on his fucking doorstep…_Holy dick! _Seriously, how was that for a morning wake-up call…well it wasn't really a call, but you catch the damn drift. I may have stormed off of his porch and turned away as fast as I could with a ridiculously dramatic outburst, but inside, that was so _not_ the case. I happened to make the mistake of seizing the opportunity and popped a glance. Fuck, all I could think about upon sight of his massive, semi-hard cock was how he tasted. What it would feel like to have that monster fucking pounding into me, preferably from behind. Thoughts that never should have found their way into my sick and twisted mind. But now they were there, and there wasn't shit I could do about it.

The man's body was a work of art, and after having seen that beautiful, yet deadly, crooked smile of his, I would never be able to look at him the same way again. I needed to avoid seeing him in any state of undress whenever possible. Call me fucking crazy for thinking that way, but I'd been through enough shit and the last thing I needed while attempting to help him through this shit storm of a life he lived now, was to add the desire to fuck his brains out to it. I refused to add my fucked up baggage to the load he carried on his shoulders.

That and Charlie would ground me for the rest of my life.

Don't laugh; he'd fucking do it in a heartbeat, and yes, I'd actually go along with it. Daddy's girl…fucking sue me.

"Bella!" Edward's yell startled me from my thoughts.

"What the hell? I'm right here, dammit, you ain't got to yell at me!" I exclaimed, rubbing my hands against my jeans to try and shake the uncomfortable thoughts from my mind.

"Really? I didn't notice," he said with heavy sarcasm. "I've been sitting here trying to get your attention for the past five minutes. Where the hell did you go?"

"N-nowhere," I stuttered as he looked at me with skepticism.

"What box do you want to start with first?"

"Actually, I just came in here so we could have a moment without them jumping all over our asses. Let's start in the kitchen."

"Okay, but I'm just going to put it out there that if we get to unpacking your bathroom or bedroom, I'm not touching your fucking hygiene, girly shit with a ten foot pole."

I laughed loudly and playfully clapped the back of his shoulder. "Dually noted. Didn't take you for a bitch though, Eddie."

"Mind clarifying how that makes me a bitch?"

"We're only a few years shy of thirty, man. Being that squeamish with just a simple box of feminine products screams adolescent, high school pussy," I answered with a shrug of my shoulders as we entered the kitchen.

"That's fucked up," he laughed. "If you were a man, I'd so beat your fucking ass for calling me a pussy."

"You are what you eat." I smiled and winked as I started to open the box marked plates and glasses.

"And that's my cue to shut the fuck up. You have no idea how fucking disturbing it is to have heard that come from your mouth in reference to me," he groaned, grimacing as he braced one arm against a cabinet and lazily thumped his head down against it.

"Hey, slacker, you going to actually help me unpack this box or are you going to sit there and whine all damn day?" I asked as I unwrapped a bundle of plates.

Edward wryly smiled and arched a brow at me as he bent over and grabbed another wrapped cluster of plates from the box. "I think now's as good a time as any to iron out exactly how you're going to repay me for helping you today."

"Oh, you're funny."

"I wasn't joking." He dead-panned.

"Well, sex is off limits."

He groaned loudly and cursed under his breath. "Can you please stop talking about sex and everything dirty? That includes jokes. It's fucking with my mind and creeping me out."

"Never took you for a prude."

"_Stop it_," he gritted, eyes wide with emphasis.

"Okay, okay, in all seriousness, what would you want?"

"You said you owned a bakery, yeah?"

I nodded as I reached for more in the box.

"I think a batch of cookies or muffins would suffice."

"Really? You want me to bake for you?" I smiled and stopped what I was doing. "You're actually asking to sample my goodies?"

"All right!" he shouted, laughing through it as he slapped his palm against the counter. "I warned you once. One more smart ass, perverted fucking comment, and I'm calling a cab and getting the fuck out of here."

"I couldn't resist! You totally set that one up! Geez, fucking relax, Eddie! I'm just messing with your ass…wait, you'd probably like that wouldn't you?"

His glare was not friendly in any sense of the word.

"I'm sorry! I swear, I'll stop…I'm stopping now. I promise I'll make something for you, okay? "

"Thank you."

Our conversation sort of waned for a few minutes after as we became obsessed with unpacking the boxes. Right as we tossed the first empty box aside and started opening a new one, Emmett walked in, hesitation in his step.

"Hey, Bella, can I talk to you for a sec?"

"Emmett, anything you need to say can be said in front of Edward."

There was a moment of intense back and forth eye contact between he and Edward before Emmett cleared his throat and buried his hands in his pockets.

"I'm sorry about the ugly display outside. You didn't deserve that, and you were right, neither of you had done anything. Last night, I promised to try and so far, I haven't. I talked to everyone outside and we're in agreement to try and put everything aside , at least for the day, to help you get moved in. Just tell us where you want us."

"Emmett, you don't have to apologize. We were all angry, but I didn't appreciate the attempt to keep me out of my own house. Just make sure that Carlisle understands that because it was big button he pushed. As for where I want you, it doesn't matter where you go. Edward and I can handle the kitchen. It's up to you all what room you guys want to tackle. But please, whatever you do, let Esme handle my bathroom and bedroom. I don't want to find the crack fairy having a party with my makeup and lingerie later."

Both Edward and Emmett let out a loud groan of objection to my choice of words.

"My ears!" Emmett exclaimed with a dreadful laugh, simultaneously wincing before walking out of the room.

I glanced at Edward whose eyes were narrowed at me as he unwrapped a few glasses.

"What? I didn't say anything perverted or anything with sexual innuendo!"

"Lingerie isn't perverted?" he questioned with an arched brow. "FYI, when it comes to women, Doll, lingerie is about as perverted and sexual as you can get. Our minds work differently so please, try to refrain from giving me those mental images."

"Would it help if I said granny panties instead?"

"Oh fuck, Bella, that's shit's worse! No, it doesn't help. Now more than ever, you really do talk too fucking much."

"Bitch, bitch, bitch…is that all you know how to fucking do?"

"Well, if that isn't the pot calling the kettle black," he replied, giving me that crooked smile again.

And just like that, my knees buckled.

"Damn, you okay?" Edward questioned, looking on in concern as I gripped the countertop to hold myself upright.

"Just got a little lightheaded, I'll be fine."

"Have you eaten anything this morning?"

"No. I just went and got that stuff for you. All I've had is a cup of coffee," I answered, bowing my head between my shoulders and taking a moment to compose myself. I was surprised at how easily he believed the little white lie I'd just given him. I didn't necessarily like lying, but it was fucking better than telling him the truth, in this case at least.

"Well that explains it. Your blood sugar is probably low, and obviously, the years have done nothing for you in regards to watching that shit carefully."

_Holy shit!_

"You actually remember that?" I asked, raising my head and looking at him in wonderment. The incident I was referring to was back when I was ten. My blood sugar had severely dropped, and after going into seizures out in the Cullens' back yard, Alice, Edward, and Emmett had been made to keep me company at the hospital.

Edward's eyes softened. "Of course I remember that. Because of you and your negligence to your health, Em and I missed the fucking Super Bowl."

I knew he was just jacking with me, so we laughed as I smacked his arm. "You're such an ass, Cullen! I'll have you know that I do watch it closely, I just wasn't thinking this morning."

"Well, do you have anything to eat here?"

"No. I haven't had a chance to go get groceries or anything as I just got here yesterday." And then it dawned on me. "Oh, wait! The food from the cookout yesterday…we put it in Tupperware containers in the fridge!"

"You're fucking kidding me, right? You're going to eat barbecue for breakfast?" he questioned, his expression twisting comically.

"You have a better suggestion, Einstein? That's all I fucking have here. Unless you have any of that muffin left in the truck," I told him, cocking my brow at him as he stared at me straight-faced, as though I'd committed a crime by even thinking of touching his muffin.

"You want me to give you my muffin?"

_And he gave _me_ shit about sexual innuendos? _

"We can share the fucking muffin, okay? And when I go get groceries, I'll make you a huge fucking batch. How's that sound?"

"Duncan Hines Blueberry," he told me with a wink.

"Oh, no," I laughed. "Eddie, dear, everything that comes from my kitchen is made from scratch. Now, please be a sweetheart and go fetch the muffin for me?"

"Okay, Doll, I was willing up until you referred to me as a damn dog. Do you see a fucking tail wagging?"

"Not all dogs have tails, jackass. Seriously, Edward, please, will you go get it? I'm getting dizzy as hell and really not feeling too good."

"Shit, where are the keys?"

"They're in my pocket, but the doors are unlocked."

Edward quickly turned and walked out. It took a moment to hit me, but when it did, I wanted to kick my own ass. I'd just sent him out there with the pack of wolves, and I just fucking knew that they were going to jump him the first chance they got. They being Alice in particular.

About ten minutes passed, and after hearing a bit of a commotion, Edward finally came walking in without a bag, his hands tucked in the back pockets of his jeans and his head down.

"What happened?" I asked him lowly.

"The muffin is no more. I had it, Alice saw the bag. She fucking accused me of actually stashing my pills inside of it. She tore the damn thing apart before letting me get past her. Look, if it's okay with you, I'll take your truck and go get you something to eat."

I quickly crossed the room to him and waited for him to make eye contact before speaking quietly. "You can take my truck, that's not a problem at all, but here's what you're going to do. You're going to go home and get your fix because I can see that you're starting to crave it, and I'll give you a small list of things that you can get for me at the store on the way back. That way, when you get here, the excuse I'll have given them for you leaving will make sense. While you're gone, I'll deal with Alice."

"I still don't understand how the fuck you can talk about my problem like it's nothing and be okay with it. It's going to be fucking refreshing having you around, Doll."

"Yeah, you might regret that later." I smiled at him as he smirked and then completely took me off guard by slowly sliding his hand into my jeans pocket and grabbing hold of my keys. My jaw dropped and my eyes narrowed.

"What? You're the one that told me to fetch," he replied, crookedly smiling, _again_, and walked out.

If I didn't know any better, I'd have thought he knew damn good and well what that smile was doing to me and was using it to his advantage. But that wasn't possible because if it were true, that would mean he was flirting and purposely driving me crazy. And, _oh my fucking God_, the throbbing in my girly bits only served to remind me that come hell or high water, I needed to find my battery operated purple friend before the night ended. If I didn't get some kind of relief soon, I was going to fucking combust.

Desperately needing a distraction, I squared my shoulders and quickly popped my knuckles. Yelling at Edward was one thing, but what Alice had done just a few moments ago was far from okay and completely fucking intrusive. She had no right to go after him like that, _and _she ruined a fucking perfectly good muffin. I soon found her out on the front porch, laughing it up with Jasper like nothing had happened. It was becoming more and more apparent to me that out of everyone in the family, Alice was the one who held the most resentment and hate for Edward. The _why _was something I needed to figure out because right now, it just didn't make any sense. As kids, she would always tell me how she felt closer to Edward than she did Emmett. She didn't really ever elaborate any more than that, so I just took it at face value.

As I stepped onto the porch, the laughter instantly died, and she focused her eyes out over the front lawn.

"Who in the hell do you think you are?" I bit out.

"Excuse me? I could ask you the same question, Bella. Since you've shown up here, all you've done is ridicule each one of us for our resentment towards that piece of shit! You don't know the first thing about what we've been through or about the kind of monster he really is!"

"I may not know every single detail, but I know enough. I haven't ridiculed, either. I've simply told you all that I want Edward around, and that if any of you can't handle that, you're more than welcome to leave. I'm not going to force you all to be around each other, but I refuse to shun him out of my life just because it makes you uncomfortable or because you think him to be a low-life thug. And what's sad is that you've actually fucking convinced him of that fact. What you did out here a moment ago was over the line and fucking bullshit, Alice," I snarled. She simply glared back at me. "I sent Edward out here to get me a muffin from _my truck _because my blood sugar was low. You would think that he could manage that without being fucking harassed, but obviously not. You jumped all over him with bogus, and humiliating, accusations of having stashed _drugs _inside of the fucking pastry! And then you went as far as to completely destroy it out of what? Spite?"

"Who's side are you on, Bella? Why are you so quick to jump to his defense? I mean, can't you at least try to see our side of things?" she angrily cried, wiping at her eyes as Jasper stood to the side.

"I never once said that I was on one side or the other. Believe me, I know that you all have hurt and suffered from his apparent addiction, but I can't–and won't–bring myself to disowning and completely casting him aside as though he were nothing. Despite his problems, he's still a part of the small group which I consider my family, as are all of you. I'm going to do whatever I can to be there for him and help him, which from what I've seen so far seems to be something none of you could be bothered with. I still want to get to know you all again, but I'll be damned if I'm going to be blasted just because I'm associating with Edward."

"Well, it's not that easy, Bella. You're going to have a make a decision because you can't have both. It's either Edward, or me…your choice," she hissed. The fucking crack fairy hissed!

"I told you, _no one _tells me what to do, and you're fucking crazy if you think for one second that I'm going to let you push or manipulate me into picking a side. Today could have been drama-free had you have been willing to keep your trap shut and just let bygone be bygones for a few hours. He didn't do a fucking thing to anybody since he's been here, Alice! Hell, he was too fucking afraid to even look any of you in the damn eye! Everyone seems to be willing to cooperate; they just stay out of each other's way, but you? You just can't help yourself, can you?"

"I don't have to take this shit from you, Bella. You don't know the first fucking thing about what I've been through because of him!" she screamed at me, pounding her fist into the one of the rail posts on the porch.

"Oh trust me, twinkle toes, I'd _love _to hear what you've been through because the way I heard it, you cared so much about your fucking professional reputation that you completely washed your hands of your own _brother _without a moment's hesitation!"

Alice's eyes widened with rage as she, in the blink of an eye, raised her hand in attempt to slap me but I caught her at the last moment, glaring back, daring her to try it again. "Don't even try me," I threatened and released her hand.

Jasper came up behind Alice and pulled her against him. "Ali, darlin', stop. I don't agree with everything you've said, Bella, but Ali, you did go a bit far earlier with the muffin. We all just need to stop and take a deep breath before y'all say something you'll regret later."

"It's too late for that, Jazz. Bella just made it perfectly clear where she stands, and that's with Edward. As long as he's involved, there's no room for me. And Bella, when you're left balling your eyes out and your life is in ruin because of that piece of shit, don't fucking bother calling me because all I'll say is that I fucking told you so. And had I have known you had turned into such a bitch, I never would have welcomed you back."

Before I could say anything in response, she turned on her heel, got into her car, and peeled out away from the curb.

I could see Jasper wanted to say something, and instead of sticking around to hear about how badly I'd just fucked up my relationship with Alice, I walked back into the house and went back to unpacking. I refused to cry. I wasn't going to let her get to me.

I could only hope that once things settled down, and we'd had time to cool off, that she would come to her senses and be willing to talk things over calmly. But there would be no reconciling until she made peace with the fact that Edward was part of my life now, and nothing she could say would change that.

Sometime later, I heard plastic bags in the kitchen, but I couldn't be bothered to lift my head and look in that direction. Edward was back, and if he learned exactly how badly things went, he'd only feel worse about himself and demand I take him home.

I continued unpacking, acting none the wiser, for a good while before I finally felt him come up beside me and lean against the counter, his arms folded over his chest.

"Need a cigarette?" he asked gruffly.

"Do I need one? Yes. Do I have one? No. Do I have time for it? Not right now."

"Well, Doll, it turns out that I have one, and you're going to make fucking time for it."

"Don't fucking push it right now, Eddie," I warned him as I reached down to grab a couple more wrapped glasses. Edward caught my wrist midway and pulled me back up, forcing me to look at him.

"We're going outside, and you're going to talk to me over a cigarette. Right fucking now."

I could tell from the look in his eyes that he wasn't dicking around and wasn't going to let go of whatever crawled up his ass until I talked to him.

"Oh really?" I glared at him.

"You're going to start by telling me just what the fuck happened while I was gone, and then you're going to explain why Jasper congratulated me on having found someone stupid enough to fight for my pathetic ass."

Fuck my life.

**A/N: So what did you all think? Did Alice go too far? Did Bella?**

**I'll try to have to the next chapter up by this coming weekend. **

**In other news, Crash & Burn is up for Fic of the Week over at the Lemonade Stand! Please, if you have a moment, pop on over there and vote! I've got some really stiff competition as it's up against some great fics!**

**.**

**As always, thanks for reading and reviewing! **

**Leave me some love ;D**


	9. Chapter 8

**EPOV**

Pulling back up to Bella's and finding Jasper staring a fucking hole in me, Alice's car gone and the rest of my family watching out of the bedroom windows, I instantly knew that something had gone down. And considering that Bella was absent from sight meant that she definitely had something to do with it. Hell, she'd had something to do with fucking everything that had happened in the past twenty-four hours.

I'd heard her mention that she was going to deal with Alice while I was gone, but honestly, I didn't really think she'd fucking do it. Or at least, I didn't think it would be so bad that the freaking fairy would leave. I didn't like the feeling that all of this was putting in my gut. I had enough shit to deal with in regards to my family without Bella around making things worse. I knew she meant well, but all it was doing was stirring the pot and nothing good was ever going to come from it. Of course, at the same time, I wasn't even sure that things _could _get any worse.

As I got out of the truck and grabbed the bags from the bed, I heard Jasper scoff on the porch, apparently finding either humor or aggravation in the fact that I'd gone and bought Bella some groceries. And in regard to the groceries, that small list she'd given me? Yeah, I totally didn't abide by it. I footed the bill and bought her a full round of groceries. That would probably shock anyone that fucking knew me because I didn't even buy a full cart for myself, which was why my fridge at home was literally bare and my kitchen was littered with various Little Debbie wrappers.

Once I stepped foot on the porch steps, both hands loaded down with bags, Jasper moved directly into my path and glared at me.

"Well, isn't that convenient? Bella gives you the keys to her truck and asks you to get her groceries. How much cash did you pocket for drugs, Edward?"

"Contrary to popular belief, Jazz, I'm not a fucking thief. If you must know, I footed the entire bill for the groceries. What? You wanna go through my bags and open all the boxes in place of my sister? Because I can promise you, there's fucking nothing here. It's all at home, dammit, and pulling this shit at Bella's on a day that we're all supposed to be helping her is low," I rasped, moving past him.

"Yeah, speaking of, congratulations on convincing your sister's best friend to fucking stand up for your pathetic ass," he bit out, his voice heavily laced with venom.

The words stung as they always did and stopped me in my tracks just for a moment. I couldn't let it get to me. Of course, I said that shit to myself all the time, but it didn't make a bit of difference. It hurt down to the core all the same, each and every time. For the longest time, Jasper had been my best friend and for a while, when all this shit first started, he was on my side, but little by little, Alice and my father turned him against me. Eventually, they turned Rose, Emmett, and my mother against me too. So when I'd told Bella that having her around would be refreshing, I hadn't been lying. The only problem I was now facing would be whether I could continue to let her be near me. All I would do was bring her down. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but it would happen eventually.

I wasn't sure what I would find when I entered the kitchen, but what saw fucking filled me with rage for my bitch of a sister. Bella stood, still unpacking, only she was slamming dishes and her fucking chin was quivering. I could tell just from looking at her and watching her actions that she was fighting tears and that shit was not okay with me. After all that she had done so far in defense of me, seeing her upset like this hit me hard.

And it only reinforced my reasoning behind not wanting her to be near me. I'd only been reunited with her since last night, but already my fucked up life was taking a toll on her. I refused to watch my life destroy someone else's. As my father had once said, I was nothing but poison to those around me. That had never rung truer than it fucking did at the moment.

I knew Bella heard me come in as she paused for a half second, but she wouldn't fucking look at me. If I wasn't so fucking afraid of the ramifications, I would have tried to pull her into my arms and hug her against me, but doing so would be like opening myself up to being hurt and drug through the fucking mud again. Not that she'd ever fucking done that to me, but someone else had and I wasn't fucking going there again or making myself vulnerable to that kind of pain again.

That and I was still trying to come across to her in a 'I only think of you as a sister' kind of way, which I think had been working pretty fucking well so far. No thanks to her though; that little shit had been throwing perverted and suggestive comments all damn day and it wasn't fucking helping my case at all.

Sighing heavily and deciding that I needed to get to the bottom of what the fuck had happened, and also needing to pull her aside and try to make her understand why things were the way they were, I dropped the bags and walked around the side of the counter. I moved to lean against the counter beside her and watched her for a moment. She continued to put things away, anger in her every move. Her eyes shined with unshed tears and her chin still quivered. I'd pretty much come to the fucking conclusion that she wasn't aware of her body's betrayal.

"Need a cigarette?" I asked, unable to wait a moment longer.

"Do I need one? Yes. Do I have one? No. Do I have time for it? Not right now." Well I sure as hell didn't expect for her actually say yes. I didn't have a fucking clue that she smoked. In fact, it was a weak attempt at getting her to fucking laugh for me.

"Well, Doll, it turns out that I have one, and you're going to make fucking time for it," I answered, not even messing around. If she wanted one, then it gave me the perfect reason to pull her ass outside.

"Don't fucking push it right now, Eddie," she warned, glaring at me. I watched as she started to go back to unpacking. I wasn't having that shit. I was starting to see that she was actually a lot like me. If you wanted her to do something, especially when she was pissed off, you had to get forceful and not take no for an answer. I struck my hand out and caught her wrist.

As I pulled her back up, I lifted her chin with the fingers of my other hand, forcing her to fucking look at me.

"We're going outside, and you're going to talk to me over a cigarette. Right fucking now."

"Oh really?" she bit out, bitch coming out in full force, but I could see that beneath her tough exterior, she was dying for a break, drowning in the tension, and she fucking needed to get some of this shit off of her chest. I knew I was probably the last fucking person in the world anyone would consider to be a good friend or confidant, but dammit, for some strange, fucked up reason unknown to me, I wanted…no, I needed that to be that person for her.

Even if it was just for today.

And let's face it; I needed to know what the hell went down earlier and she was the only one who fucking cared about me enough to tell me. I was lucky if the rest of people I called my family would say two words to me half the fucking time.

"You're going to start by telling me just what the fuck happened while I was gone, and then you're going to explain why Jasper congratulated me on having found someone stupid enough to fight for my pathetic ass."

"Edward, we can't just fucking disappear right now, no matter how badly we want a cigarette. I've already fucked up enough for one day, and to leave them to do all the unpacking while we sit on our asses isn't right," she sighed heavily in defeat as her shoulders slumped and she slumped beside me lazily against the counter.

"Doll, I think you've earned the fucking right to have a damn cigarette break. Besides, if they notice, they'll just bitch at me anyway. That's probably the only good thing about having me around; you'll never get in fucking trouble because they'll automatically blame me for everything," I told her with a wry laugh.

Bella shook her head at me. "I've told you already to quit saying shit like that."

"Well, it's the truth. What you said about you having fucked up today was not. I mean it. Come outside and have a smoke with me. Tell me what the fuck happened and then we'll come back and finish unpacking, okay?"

She then rolled her eyes dramatically at me and turned to walk out her back door. "And you call _me _bossy?"

"Remember which of it is that is in possession of the cigarettes, Doll," I quipped; laughing as she muttered something I couldn't fucking understand under her breath.

"Why don't we go out on the front porch? I've actually got chairs out there."

"Because Jasper's out front and right now, I don't want to deal with his shit," I replied, pulling my pack and lighter out of my jeans pocket and leaning up against the brick of the house, one leg bent at the knee, bracing myself in a more comfortable position. I then lit two cigs and handed her one of them, which she instantly took a long drag off of.

"So, what the fuck happened, and don't leave shit out because I'll know."

"Hey, I'm not the bad guy here, so don't go getting all fucking rude and shit, Edward."

Dammit, would I ever do anything fucking right? "I never said you were, Bella, and I didn't mean for it to come out that way. I just, look, whatever it was pissed you off pretty good and when I walked into that kitchen, you looked close to tears. Something happened and if Alice…"

"I went too far and in response, she gave me an ultimatum. Obviously, she didn't like what I said in return."

Was she fucking kidding me with that horseshit? That didn't tell me a damn thing. I wasn't any closer to knowing what happened than I was two minutes ago.

"Okay, Doll, you misunderstood me. When I asked what happened and said we were going to talk, I didn't mean for you to give me a two sentence summary. I want to know what was said and start from the beginning, if you don't mind."

"I fucked up, Eddie. I mean, Alice had it coming after the things she said to you at the truck and then that shit she pulled with the whole muffin thing, but she's one of my best friends and I completely fucking blew it. Alice is the one that I've been in contact with for the past few months now, and she helped me find this house. While I was in Louisiana, she was literally a saint helping me get everything done. She dodged talking about you like the fucking plague. She had no problem telling me about anyone, but when you came up, she wouldn't tell me shit. Hell, for the longest time I actually feared that you were dead and that she just didn't know how to tell me. But, then I get here and everyone acted like there was this big fucking secret regarding you that they couldn't talk about. I got fed up with it because believe it or not, the years have done nothing for my feelings. I still care about you, and them, just as much as I did before. And I hated….I mean I fucking _hated _that they didn't even have the decency to invite you yesterday. I um…I overheard Emmett on the phone with you, and I guess he noticed that I was mopey or some shit because he offered to give me your address so I could come see you _today._"

"Today? But you came last night, and what does this have to do with what happened with Alice earlier?"

So sue me, patience wasn't exactly one of my strong suits.

"I'm getting to that, dammit. Eventually, I couldn't take the tension and secret glances between everyone so I exploded and told them that I knew they were keeping you and whatever happened from me and that if they couldn't find it in themselves to fill me in, that they needed to leave their fucking baggage at the door."

Holy shit! Jesus, this woman had some fucking balls.

"I stormed outside to cool off and Emmett followed me out. He went off on me and we argued for a bit until he promised to tell me what had happened with you. He gave me your address and after he told me everything last night, I couldn't help it; I had to go and see you. So, since I've been here, Edward, it's been one thing after another, and I've literally done nothing but fight with everyone…apart from you. When I went outside to confront Alice after you left, I reamed her for what she'd done and how you were being treated. I told her that she went too fucking far. She started screaming at me about not knowing anything in terms of what she'd been through and I told her, in anger that I'd love to hear what she went through because from what I'd heard, she put her reputation above the well-being of her own brother. She didn't take that too well and attempted to hit me. Of course, I saw that shit coming and stopped her, but it was then that she issued the ultimatum."

My head hung low between my shoulders as I puffed at my cigarette and pinched the bridge of my nose with my free hand. This was so much worse than I fucking thought, but just as I had suspected, all the fucking drama Bella had dealt with since she'd been here was because of me. But the part I couldn't figure out was why she cared about me so fucking much. What was so special about me? If she were smart, she'd have chosen to stick with my family and not have given me a second thought after hearing about me from Emmett.

"What was the ultimatum, Bella?" I rasped, my voice breaking on the last word.

"What do you think it was, Edward?"

"She made you choose between me and her, right?" I glanced up to see Bella nod and noticed that sometime during her explanation, she'd closed the distance between us and now stood right beside me. "What did you say?"

"Well, she's not here anymore, is she?" she whispered, averting her eyes to the trees in her backyard, then to the ground. Anywhere but at me. "She didn't even give me a chance to answer her before she called me a fucking bitch and left. There were other things said, but nothing of importance. So," she started, wiping at her eyes and a few tears that I obviously hadn't seen fall. "Now you know everything, so let's go back inside and unpack, okay? I don't want to talk about this shit anymore."

She threw her cigarette butt to the ground and stubbed it out with the toe of her shoe before she started to move past me. I couldn't let her fucking go without saying something. After all, it was my fault. I reached out and caught her hand, pulling her back toward me.

"I want you to know that I appreciate everything you've said and done in defense of me, Bella. You need to know that, okay? But I'm fucking trash. That's all there is to it. You're wasting your time if you think for one second that there's any good in me, because I'm telling you right now that there isn't. There's shit that I've done and seen that would give you nightmares, hell, it even gives me fucking nightmares. I've put my family through more hell than any family should ever have to go through. I deserve every fucking bit that they throw at me. I refuse to come between you and them. I'll help you finish tonight, but after you bring me home, don't come back. I don't mean that to be spiteful," I explained as she narrowed her eyes at me and a single tear leaked out. "I don't want to hurt you and if you continue to be around me and see what my life is really like, that's what will inev…"

"Stop it right there, Cullen," she bit out forcefully. "I don't care what you do; you aren't fucking getting rid of me. Come hell or high water, I will make you see the good in yourself that still remains. And don't tell me it isn't fucking there because I see it. What's going to happen is, after we're finished unpacking; I'll bring you by your house. You'll get some clothes, however much of your stash you need, and you're going to stay with me tonight. You and I are going to talk because you need to hear the reason why I'm so quick to come to your defense. Once you hear my story, I think you'll understand me a little bit more. Besides, I need someone here that gets it," she ranted.

"How am I going to stay here, Doll?" I asked her with a smirk, trying to lighten the mood somewhat because I'd massively brought it down a moment ago. Hell, I was still down, but this cheerfulness I was showing her was for her benefit alone. "You have a bed, but no couch. I don't know about you, but I don't think we're ready to be sharing a fucking bed."

"Um, well you pretty much made it clear last night that you don't let women stay in your house," she smarted off, putting her hands on her hips.

"No, I don't let women in my house, period," I replied with a laugh.

"So, I guess that makes me fucking special, doesn't it?" she smiled widely and I couldn't fucking help but smile back at her.

Ramifications be damned, but I couldn't resist. A weird mix of a laugh and groan came from my throat as I pushed off of the wall and pulled her against me for a hug. She was so fucking cute, thinking she had me about the being special thing, but...oh, who the fuck was I kidding? She already had me, hook, line and sinker. And not in the way you bunch of perverts are thinking either. I just meant she'd fucking called my bluff. I could already see that Bella was going to turn out to be like Alice from back when things were good. All she would have to do was throw a tantrum or give me those eyes and I would be a fucking goner, giving in to any little thing she wanted.

Bella pulled away with a smirk and headed back inside. As I moved to follow her, my phone rang out and I could only fucking hope that it wasn't Aro calling me in for another job. The last thing I needed right now was to have to find a damn excuse to give Bella as to why I would have to leave all of a sudden, cause there was no way in hell I would be able to actually tell her the truth.

"Yeah?"

"_Are you fucking happy, asshole?" _Alice screamed into the phone.

"What the fuck is your problem? I wasn't even here, Ali."

"Why the hell can't you just stay away from her? You know what's going to happen!"

"No actually, why don't you fucking enlighten me, Ali. All I know right now is that I'm simply helping a friend, a sister, unpack."

"Bullshit! You just can't help yourself, can you? First, you took Kate away and now Bella."

I rammed my fist into the brick wall of the house, and caught Bella watching me through the window of the kitchen. Fucking great.

"You leave that fucking bitch out of this! She has and never will have anything to do with Bella. You need to fucking let that shit go."

"_LET IT GO? _You fucking killed her! You should be rotting in prison right now! How long, Edward, until you do the same shit to Bel…"

I couldn't fucking hear anymore. I angrily shoved the phone back into my pocket and buried my hand in my hair, pulling forcefully at the strands.

"Edward?" Bella questioned as she opened the back door.

"Just give me a fucking minute!" I shouted just a bit louder than I meant to, and a hell of a lot harsher. It was a good thing too because Bella didn't need to be near me when I was this pissed off.

I was so fucking sick of that bitch calling me a murderer. The fact that she, my own fucking sister, would believe me capable of killing the woman I was to be married to, the woman that, at the time and in everyone else's eyes, I loved, was like a thousand daggers to the heart. And it wasn't just Alice. It was the whole fucking family. They never hesitated to believe that shit and that hurt worse than the way they fucking treated me about my drug problem.

I lifted my head to glance at Bella but she'd already shut the damn door and had disappeared. I didn't even see her in the kitchen anymore. Hopefully she hadn't taken that outburst personally, but I wouldn't be surprised if she had. Leave it to me to fuck everything up. I was going to have to apologize to her as soon as I got inside, right before I asked her to take me home.

When I got this fucking pissed off, there was only one thing that could calm me, and that was a fucking fix and a tall Crown and coke. I could feel my muscles beginning to spasm from the need and the adrenaline rushing through my body. All I needed and wanted right now was to feel the sweet release of the drugs entering my system. Fucking nothing was better than that. Bella was just going to have to take a rain check on our little fucking soiree tonight.

Hopefully, tomorrow, I'd be in the frame of mind to make it up to her. But if Alice's bitch ass got to her before I did, I might as well kiss our friendship, if that's even what we were, goodbye because Bella wouldn't fucking want a damn thing to do with me after. The argument earlier had lit a fire under Alice's ass and the bitch fought dirty. She was going to bring everything she had to the table to convince Bella and, in a way, it would be the best thing for her to stay the fuck away from me.

But, if it was the best thing, why did just thinking about it feel so fucking _wrong_?

**A/N: SURPRISE! I updated a lot sooner than I thought I would. Addictward just wouldn't leave me alone LOL!**

**So, we've heard a bit more from Edward. He's really confused. In the next couple of chapters, we'll get his story as well as Alice's. **

**Hope you all are still enjoying it!**

**Leave me some love! ;D**


	10. Chapter 9

**Hello my lovelies! As you can probably tell from the frequent updates lately, Addictward has been talking my ear off! I'm torn between wanting to hug the crap out of him or beat him over the damn head! **

**This chapter is a bit of an emotional chapter, though you probably don't need tissues.**

**See you all at the bottom!**

**BPOV**

I wasn't sure what I was expecting when I stuck my head out the backdoor to check on Edward, but I certainly didn't fucking think he would snap at me the way he did. I couldn't take it to heart though. He had been through a lot today at the hands of his family, and because I just didn't know when to quit, the blame fell on my shoulders. I had pushed everyone together too fucking soon. I mean, yeah, I knew it was fucking bad, but this–what I'd witnessed–was far worse than I could ever have imagined.

The one thing I was thankful for was Emmett, believe it or not. He had actually swallowed his pride and apologized, not just to me, but both of us. Jasper…well, I didn't know him from a damn hole in the ground, but after that line he'd spat at Edward, it let me know where he stood. Carlisle and Esme had pretty much vanished into thin air somewhere in the house after our confrontation outside. But Alice, even though she had left, I just had a gut feeling that she was the one Edward had been arguing with on the phone outside. Why she couldn't just let it go and leave him alone was beyond me, but it was infuriating. She was literally hell bent on making him feel as low as she possibly could. I didn't understand it at all. If she wanted nothing to do with him and fucking hated him, why the hell was she continuing to call him and get in his face? Wouldn't it be easier for her if she just washed her hands of him completely?

I sighed loudly and turned, about to head into the back of the house to find Emmett, when I heard Edward come in from outside. His head hung a bit low as he looked up at me from beneath his lashes with trepidation, which was odd coming from him. Up until this point, he hadn't seemed to be scared of anything and had put on a tough front no matter what was thrown at him.

"You look like you could use a drink almost as much as me," I told him softly as he came to stand against the counter once more. His hand ran through his hair, shaking with frustration as a gush of breath escaped with a laugh.

"That's a fucking understatement. I'm sorry about snapping at you, Bella. It wasn't you; you know that, right?."

"It was Alice," I answered for him, venom in my voice. He looked up at me skeptically, his eyes narrowed. "I may have heard you shout her name."

"Listen, I know that I said I would help you unpack, and I've hardly done a damn thing around here, but I just…I need to go home, Doll. That phone call was the final nail in the coffin today, and my stress level is fucking sky rocketing. The only thing that's going to bring that level down is back at home, and in saying that, I really think its best that we save our fucking soiree shit for another night."

"I'll bring your ass home, Cullen, but when I finish up here and everyone goes home, I'm going back to your place. And our little soiree, as you so fucking eloquently put it, will still happen."

"All right, look, I'm not even going to bullshit you; I will most likely be getting fucked up tonight, okay? I'm talking heavy liquor and drugs, Bella. You don't need to be around that shit, and I don't want you seeing me like that."

"What you just spewed at me is the only bullshit that's going on here. I've seen more of liquor and drugs than you could ever dream about, Eddie, and it's nothing new to me, which is only the more reason for you to hear me out on what I've really been up to the last few years. I'll even bring liquor because the good Lord knows, I'll fucking need it if I ever plan on making it through reliving that shit all over again."

"Okay, you know what? I'm fucking done playing nice, Bella. I don't take orders from you, or anybody else. You got here yesterday, and already, you've made things a thousand fucking times worse than they were before because you couldn't keep your fucking nose out of it. The family doesn't need you screaming in their faces about me. Because Doll, even if they ever really fucking cared about me at all, the ship sailed a long ass time ago and isn't coming back. If you want to be there for me, fine, but quit fucking pushing for things that are impossible. One thing you need to understand is, the _only _time I see the family is at Mom's Sunday dinners…that's it. And in case you didn't fucking read between the lines, I want to be left alone tonight. That's just me, myself and I. And I don't fucking see what's so damn big about your story that you feel the immediate need to tell me about it."

When he finished, his chest was heaving as he stared me down, his expression leaving no room for bullshit. The rant he'd just given had bitch-slapped me a thousand times over, and I knew instantly that I'd overstepped my boundaries with him. I'd pushed too hard, and as a result, he was feeling cornered. Much like I had the first few times Charlie tried to confront me about my addiction. And as much as I wanted to just walk away and let Edward be alone tonight, I had to take a note from the battle I had fought. Whether I had felt cornered, or had just thrown my fist through a wall, it didn't stop Charlie. He kept on. The angrier I would get and the more I fought against him, the harder he would push, never giving up.

I took a step back from Edward and closed my eyes, shaking my head.

"Bel…" He actually had the audacity to sound remorseful.

I cut him off. "You think that you're the only one who knows what it's like to live with this shit? The only one that knows what it's like to crave a fix? To know that with the each hit, all the pain and anger will fade into nothing, leaving you numb?" I ground out, fixing my eyes on his startled ones. I was making sure he could see that I was pissed. "You aren't the only fucking person that knows that kind of pain. Answer me something; how many times have you taken a hit, praying that it was just enough to be your last? Just enough to send you to your fucking grave?"

"Fuck you, Bella," he growled, his voice threatening as he brought himself closer.

"It's a legit question, Edward. I prayed for that more times than I can fucking count."

"Do you honestly think I'm fucking stupid?" Edward laughed bitterly, shaking his head. "You expect me to believe you share the same hell? What? Is this a sick joke or something?"

"Oh there's nothing sick about any of this," I snarled as I glanced around me, making sure no one had stumbled into our conversation. I then clenched my jaw and gritted my teeth forcefully as I extended my arm to him, the flat underside of my forearm facing up. Edward's eyes then narrowed as he stared at my arm before slowly rising to meet my eyes. "Does this look like a joke to you?"

Eventually, I couldn't take the intensity of his stare anymore and turned my back to him, resuming the unpacking. What I really fucking wanted was a cigarette, but he had them and to ask for one would mean going back outside with him. I didn't want to discuss my history any further while in this house, not while Esme, Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper could walk in at any given time. That and I desperately needed to catch up on the unpacking because I was seriously slacking.

But then I realized that I still had to take him home. At the moment, my emotions were running so high, and just remembering what it felt like to be addicted, left me fighting the urges and cravings that were starting to course through my veins.

Going to Edward's with the knowledge of me watching him with the drugs and alcohol suddenly didn't seem like such a good idea. I was strong in my sobriety, and having come out of the rehabilitation only weeks ago, no matter how long I'd battled it, was still too much of a temptation. I needed to watch myself, especially at the vulnerable moments such as this one. With the way I was feeling emotionally, the urge to feel that high just to ease the pain of my past wrong doings would be too much to fight against. It was in my best interest to drop him off, and then come home. And more than likely, I'd be placing a call to Charlie tonight, just to talk this all out. I owed him that much.

Before Edward could say anything back—and I could tell he wanted to—I went to the back of the house to find Emmett. I found him in what I had deemed to be my office slash guestroom.

"Hey Em, I'll be right back. I'm going to bring Edward home; he's not feeling too hot."

"Bella," he sighed, not bothering to look at me. "You don't have to cover for him. He wants to go home and take his drugs; I know that, and so do you."

"No, really, he's not good, Emmett. Your fucking sister called him a minute ago and let him have it…again. There was no reason for her to do that shit."

"Well, I take it that since you and her had World War three outside you'll be staying with Rose and I again tonight?" he answered with a laugh.

"Actually, I think I'm going to stay here tonight. It's nothing against you, I promise. I just…it's been a long day, and I think it's probably best for everyone if I stay home. I've got a lot on my mind that I need to mull over, and I think I've wreaked enough havoc on this family for one day."

I didn't wait for him to answer before I headed back towards the kitchen and grabbed my keys. Edward was standing at the sink, looking out the window with his hands shoved in his pockets.

"You coming or not?" I questioned firmly. His head jerked up, and I could see the confusion in his eyes left from our conversation minutes ago. Silently, he followed me out of the house and to the truck.

"Who all knows?" he questioned about fifteen minutes into the drive, his voice low.

"Charlie, and now you," I whispered, my voice raspy from the strain of emotions.

"You haven't told the family?"

"Why the fuck would I do that? After seeing how they treat you? No, I'll probably tell them eventually, but it definitely won't be soon."

"I'm…" He started.

"If you're about to fucking apologize, don't. You didn't know; now you do."

"So, where are you staying tonight?" he asked with a heavy sigh.

"I told Em that I was staying home tonight. I've done enough damage to everyone for the day, and I need to sit down and mull a bunch of shit over in my head."

"Shit. The things I said back there," he trailed off frustratingly.

"Were right," I answered, smiling grimly at him as I pulled my truck into his driveway. "You have my number. If you need anything, don't hesitate to call me."

"How can you possibly still offer that after the way I blew up at you?" he exclaimed, his eyes wide.

"Edward, it's been a long day. Those things just happen. I've gotta go, though; I'm way behind on my unpacking, thanks to your slow ass."

"I'm just going to extend the offer that if you want to come by later, it's okay."

"Now you're just trying to be nice, you big pussy. You made it perfectly clear that you want to be left alone, and I remember what that feeling was like. Not only that but bringing that stuff back up is fucking with my head, and it's probably best if I stay away from the temptation for tonight. I'm strong, but not that strong. I'll see you later."

He gave me that knee-buckling, crooked grin once more, and he started to step out of the truck when he turned his head to look at me over his shoulder. "You want a cigarette for the drive back?"

I nodded my head. "Hell yes. Two if you don't mind."

"Hey, it's the least I can do after being a fucking asshole. Call me later, okay?"

"I will, and Edward, you weren't an asshole," I told him with a wink as I took the cigarettes from his hand. I watched as he put one to his own lips and lit up.

I had never wanted to be a fucking cigarette so much in my life.

He then offered me the lighter, which I took, lit one of mine, and then handed back before putting my truck in reverse and backing out. As the gravel crunched beneath my tires, Edward stayed put in front of his damn house, smoking and watching me. I rolled the window all the way down and stuck my head out. "Remember you have a fucking cigarette in your mouth this time!" I shouted in reference to him burning his foot last night.

He broadly smiled, his laugh loud enough to be heard over the roar of my engine as he raised a hand in the air and flipped me the bird with a shake of his head, causing me to smile.

****C&B****

When I returned to my house, I found everyone—excluding Alice—sitting on the blanket left from the night before, eating lunch. Apparently, someone had brought sandwich supplies, and Emmett had taken it upon himself to heat up some of the barbecue and burgers from yesterday. They all greeted me with warm smiles, except for Jasper. I was actually surprised to see Carlisle smiling at me considering our confrontation this morning.

"Find your way back okay?" Emmett questioned as he looked up at me from his plate.

"I did, Captain Obvious." That earned a laugh from none other than Carlisle and an eye roll from Emmett. When I walked into the center of the kitchen, the bags of groceries that Edward had brought in were no longer there, and as I thought back, I never even really looked to see what all he had bought. And then it dawned on me that I'd never given him any money, so whatever he did buy, he fucking paid for. As that thought hit me, I hurried over to fridge and threw the door open. My jaw dropped as I then moved to the fucking pantry and was rendered completely speechless.

_That little shit! _There was at least two hundred and fifty dollars' worth of groceries in my house, and that pissed me off because judging from all the snack cake wrappers I'd found at Edward's, he didn't even shop for himself. I mean, the thought was incredibly sweet and was actually a load off of my back, but there was no way I wasn't going to reimburse him for this.

"Bella, dear, I noticed you went shopping. When on earth did you have time to do that between yesterday and today?" Esme questioned sweetly. I glanced at her skeptically, not sure whether she was fishing for information or not, and arched my brow.

"I didn't. Edward went before I brought him home." I overheard some mumbling as I began fixing me a burger. It royally irritated the fuck out of me that they were all talking about him in my fucking dining area, knowing I was just fifteen feet away, but I had to ignore it. I didn't want to start any more shit and to say something would undoubtedly do just that. Besides, it was an incredibly sweet and fucking selfless thing Edward had done for me. Hopefully they would recognize that, but I had the feeling that a certain blonde-haired douchebag by the name of Jasper was trying to put a different spin on it.

Despite how fucking badly I wanted to rip that asshole a new one, I wanted to try and bond a bit more with the family without the whole Edward thing looming over our heads. Not that I was disregarding anything they'd said or done—or that I was tossing him aside—but they needed to see that I really did genuinely care about them as well. So, once I'd finished making my lunch, I took a seat between Emmett and Esme, plastering a smile on my face.

With the tension taking a backseat for the moment, the conversation between us flowed easily as I filled them on all—well, almost all—I'd been up to for the past fifteen years. They really got a kick out of the fact that Charlie had hired me on as his assistant slash secretary, and then, once learning of my bakery, demanded that I start making them privy to my goodies as soon as possible. Of course, I agreed, but what they didn't know was none of them were sampling any of my stuff until Edward had. He was getting first dibs. If they didn't care enough to include him and treat him as a human being, then the job would be left up to me and I had hell of a lot of making up to do on their part, not that I minded.

"So, Esme, Alice tells me that you're an interior designer now?"

She nodded with a small smile. "I am. I did the inside of both mine and Alice's home. Though you haven't seen either of them yet, so that probably holds no meaning to you," she replied with a soft chuckle.

"Well, to be blunt, I suck at it. I'd be extremely grateful and would love it if you would come shopping with me tomorrow."

Her eyes lit up with hope. "You want me to help you decorate your home?"

"If you wouldn't mind," I answered. I glanced over to Emmett who winked and gave a small smirk in approval.

Instead of answering me, Esme reached over and grabbed me up into a tight hug. "I would love to, dear," she exclaimed, but as she pulled away, her eyes held sorrow. "I wish you and Alice hadn't butted heads. She'd have loved to come."

"I hate that we did, too. But I didn't agree with what she did; she went too far, and I'm not going to change my mind about that. It was ridiculously immature."

"Dear, I understand why that upset you, but perhaps if you talked to her and heard exactly what she's been through and why she did that, maybe you'd understand better."

Esme's words were true, but I wasn't going to be the one to make that call. If Alice wanted to talk, she could call me. "Perhaps," I answered with a sigh. "But that's her call to make. If she wants to reconcile and confide in me, I'll be here, but I won't push it."

"Well, why don't you stop over for dinner tonight at my house?" Emmett questioned. "Rosie asked Alice over for dinner. Maybe you two could talk there."

"I don't think that's a good idea, Emmett. I just…there's a lot that's happened since I showed up, and to quite honest, I've offended some, no matter how right I felt I was when I did so. I need time to think because I'm going to have to balance out my time between all of you and Edward. Today proved that it's too soon to expect any of you to welcome him in to a gathering of any kind."

Carlisle released a heavy breath and dropped his napkin onto his plate. "Bella, sweetheart, we really wish you wouldn't acquaint yourself with him. I know you've missed him, and that he's like a brother to you, but you need to understand that he isn't the same person he used to be. Not even close. You're only going to wind up getting hurt."

"Yeah, he mentioned that to me himself. With all due respect, Carlisle, I wonder who put that idea in his head? Ever since going to see him last night, Edward has been nothing but a gentleman. The only time that he's even showed a sign of agitation or anger was when you all jumped on him, on more than one occasion today, mind you. I've pretty much gathered from all that Emmett's told me—and the way you've all acted toward Edward—that you've all cast him aside, and none of you consider him part of your family any more. You've shunned him, and you literally insult and humiliate him at every turn, regardless of what he's done. I don't agree with it. For that reason, I'm going to be there for him, whether you all like it or not. I'll just spend time with him away from all of you. If my associating with him pisses you all off, and you'd rather have nothing to do with me because of it, so be it. I won't be damned by anybody for extending a hand or ear to someone in need."

"Nothing but a gentleman?" Carlisle bit out, shaking his head. "What kind of garbage did he fill your head with, child? What on earth has he said in regard to us?"

"He's said _nothing! _When the mention of you guys come up, he becomes depressed. His eyes lit up yesterday when I told him of my reuniting with you guys and how everything went. He may not voice it, but he fucking misses his family, and that completely breaks my heart! And he's filled my head with nothing! So he may have a drug problem, but there are thousands out there that struggle from the same fucking thing! I'm not saying it's okay, but dammit, what reason has anyone given him to strive for more? To get better?"

"Now, hold on a second, Bella," Emmett interrupted gently, obviously trying to be the middle man. "We tried to help him back when this whole thing started. He didn't want it. He quit taking our phone calls, and anytime it was brought up, he'd shut down and leave."

"Then you all just gave up? Did anyone ever think to ask for his side? Did anyone ask him how he was doing, or if he needed anything when everything first went to shit? Did anyone even care about what _he _was going through? These are the types of questions I have. The main ones though, is why the hell didn't you guys try harder, and why are all of you so okay with saying he's not a part of your family anymore?"

The room grew silent as everyone looked down at their laps—anywhere but at me and each other—in complete awkwardness. I hadn't wanted to start up anything more, but Carlisle had provoked me and damn my fucking inability to stay silent. I sighed and rubbed my hand over my face.

"All I wanted to do was sit down and have a nice lunch with everyone, but apparently, I can't even do that without someone desperately trying to turn me against Edward. I don't want to be made to choose between you guys and Edward. It isn't fair. And quite frankly, until we can all talk calmly about it, I think it's best if I avoid talking about him at all with any of you. I'm sorry if I've offended you again, but I was taught to speak my mind and I won't apologize for the way I feel."

With that said I clenched my fists tightly, closed my eyes, and walked out the front door, needing a minute of space and fresh air. I pulled my phone from my pocket and pulled up mine and Edward's text history.

**More shit just went down. I'm about to leave and buy a pack of fucking cigarettes. I promise I won't stay, but do you mind if I come by? I'll even buy you a carton –BS**

It wasn't long before my phone vibrated in my palm.

**Change of plans. Let me know when they leave. Don't you fucking go anywhere, Doll. I'll bring the cigs and some alcohol…I'm coming to you this time. –E**

I couldn't help but smile, and then I wondered what happened to change his mind.

**What happened to you getting fucked up tonight? –BS**

**Let's just say that you got the damn wheels in my fucking head turning. And I didn't like the way your text sounded. Sounds like you need an ear. –E**

**I don't think I'm the only one. –BS**

A lot of things had been said today, and some things really had my mind working.

I was now confused on some parts of Emmett's story.

I needed Alice's story to understand her better.

And until I heard Edward's side of things, I wasn't going to be any closer to figuring this fucking mess out.

Maybe…hopefully, we could _both _take a load off tonight.

**At least I warned you about the emotions, right? The next chapter will for sure be at least Bella's story. I'm not sure yet whether I'll put Edward's in or not. I kind of don't want EVERYTHING to come out at once, know what I mean?**

**How's about all these pics surfacing of RobSten in Paris, eh? It sure has been refreshing in regards to my muses ;D Though, I truly hate the paparazzi hounding them, and the pics taken were obviously an invasion of privacy **

**As always, thanks for reading and reviewing. Look on my blog for a recent list of fic recommendations. I'll have it posted by the end of the afternoon. **

**Leave me some love!**


	11. Chapter 10

**BPOV**

After receiving Edward's texts, part of me was glad to know that he was coming back, but an even greater part of me worried that he was only doing so because he thought I wanted him to, or that he had to. I quickly found his number in my phone, and right as I pressed the call button, Emmett walked out. I didn't let him fucking deter me though. I didn't give a shit if he witnessed my conversation.

"Doll?"

"Hello to you too, Eddie. Look, I don't want you to think you have to come over, okay? It's really not that big of a deal."

"If what went down wasn't a big deal, why were you asking if you could come by when they left?" I could literally hear the smirk in his voice.

"I didn't say that what went down wasn't, but it's nothing I can't handle on my own. I just needed to break away for a minute, but I don't want you to think I'm fucking pressuring you int…"

"Shit, do you ever shut the fuck up?" he asked with a laugh. I couldn't help but smile. "Actually, I was going to call you later and see about going over there anyway. Back at the house, the track marks on your arms, I wasn't expecting that shit. I admit that I pretty much fucking asked for it with the way I went off on you, and though I've been curious about what all the vague responses you've given have meant, I never thought it would be something like that. I'm usually not one for fucking talking about that shit—to anyone—but for some reason, I've got this fucking gut feeling that won't leave me the hell alone. My mind is going crazy trying to figure this shit out, and if you're willing to tell, I want to listen."

"And I talk too much?"

"Call me when they leave, Swan."

The call ended and I was left with Emmett staring a fucking hole in me. What was it with him and the constant attempts at intimidating me? At least, that's what I thought he was doing. He stood next to me, his hip leaned against the wood railing and his arms folded across his chest as he stared at me in a calculating manner.

I sighed heavily. "All right, Em; let me have it."

"I'm not here to gripe at you, Bella. I came out here to check and make sure you were all right. Apparently, you're fine and Edward's coming back," he stated with an arched brow.

"No, I'm not fine, Emmett. I royally pissed off right now. And don't worry; Edward isn't coming until after everyone leaves later."

"Why won't he come now?"

"Did you seriously just ask me that?" I shrieked at him in disbelief. "Why the hell would he _want _to come back? All of you made it perfectly clear to him that he wasn't wanted here, despite my efforts to keep things calm. Alice unleashed and humiliated him when all he was trying to do was help me out. Jasper insulted him with hateful fucking comments. Carlisle tried to fucking search him, and you even had a part in that one. Then Esme stood by and watched it all happen. He wanted to be here with everyone—he wanted to help—and…and you know what? I'm done fucking trying to explain everything today. You know damn good and well without me having to so much as utter a single fucking word why he doesn't want to come back until you've all gone."

"I wish like hell that Alice would have given you some warning, prepared you for the way things are now. To just toss you into all of this havoc the way she did wasn't right, and I'm sorry for that. She should have told you what was going on with Edward, rather than having you find out like that. I'll agree that she went too far with the muffin thing, but out of all of us, Alice holds the most resentment I think. Dad, well, like I told you, he put his professional reputation first. Do I wish he'd have fought more to get Edward back? Fuck yes I do, but the fact is, he didn't, Bella. And because of that, Edward's so far gone into his lifestyle that it's literally changed who he is—inside and out."

"That's where you're wrong, Em. That's where all of you are wrong." I left it at that and refused to say anymore. If I continued to talk about it, I'd get choked up and lose my shit; it was going to be hard enough to revisit my life of the past few years later tonight with Edward.

Eventually, Emmett sighed and slowly started to walk back inside, but I stopped him and pulled him into a hug. "Thank you for acknowledging that I should have been made aware, and for at least admitting that someone could have done more in regards to helping him out. I promise, I'll call you tomorrow and maybe we can meet up for breakfast or lunch."

"You're welcome, Cinder-Bella," he said with a dimpled grin as I landed a playful jab to his arm. "Just give me a call tomorrow, but…uh, that's not your way of telling me we have to leave now, is it? I want another burger; I'm still raging hungry."

"Geez, of course I'm not kicking you out right now. Carlisle on the other hand…" I trailed off as Emmett laughed and shook his head.

I stayed outside a bit longer to calm myself as much as possible before walking into the house. Why was it that I felt like I was walking into a lion's den when they were all inside my home? Wasn't something fucking wrong with that picture? I could tell already just from the interaction and words we'd shared so far that when it came to Edward, Alice and Carlisle were going to be my biggest problems; I guess I could include Jasper as well considering the way he'd spoken to Edward earlier. I hoped that maybe Esme would be open to talking to me about Edward one on one tomorrow while we were shopping because she'd yet to say anything negative about him; then again, she hadn't said anything positive either.

When I finally went back in, everyone was gathered in the living room huddled around Emmett. As I grew closer, I noticed that he was holding an iPad, and they were all smiling and oo'ing and ahh'ing.

"What in the world is so entertaining?" I questioned with a chuckle.

"We're just going through pictures I have on my iPad. I'm sure you've never seen half of 'em," Emmett explained, smirking at me. Esme stepped aside with a reassuring smile, making room for me next to Emmett. I placed my hand on his shoulder blades and leaned in, but fuck it was hard to see. I literally had to mold myself around his massive fucking bicep just to get a decent view of the screen without the ever-irritating glare. But when he moved it closer, I gasped at what I saw. The picture he had on the screen was Edward, Alice, Emmett, and I sitting together on the porch steps of my childhood home. I remembered that day well because it had been taken the day before Charlie and I moved. Alice and I sat in the middle, Edward beside me and Emmett beside her. Always the mischievous one, Emmett held bunny ears above Alice's head. Edward hadn't done anything like that; he just had his arm slung over my shoulders. Looking at that picture and being reminded of just how much Edward had changed—how much we'd all changed—left me feeling just a bit raw on the inside. I wished desperately that things were the way they used to be, and I strongly believed they could be again, I just had to make these fucking people see how much they were throwing away. But one thing I noticed about that picture above all else, something I hadn't seen when I was a child, was that even back then, glasses, lankiness and all, Edward was just as beautiful as he was today, only he was a little rougher around the edges. That boy was still inside of him somewhere because I caught small glimpses of him every now and again in stolen glances, but I knew I was going to have my work cut out for me in trying to bring him back.

Emmett continued to show me more and more pictures, and there were several that I asked him to print off for me. Some were of all of us, some of just me and Alice, and some of the three of them. I was actually pretty fucking bummed not to see a single picture of just Edward and I. I would have to remember to ask Charlie if he happened to have any when I called him later. But knowing my dad, more than likely he didn't. Hell, he was fucking lucky if he remembered where his house shoes were I half the damn time.

After another hour or so of everyone—excluding Jasper since he wasn't around back then—reminiscing over the better memories of my time with them, Carlisle was called in to the hospital. Esme started off toward the kitchen and when I followed her in, I had to fucking stop her. She was gathering all of the trash from lunch, and after throwing it away, started to put food away.

"Esme, stop. I'll get it. I'm sure Carlisle is in a hurry to leave for the hospital—for more reasons than one." I mumbled the last bit under my breath, but the look that crossed her face told me that she'd heard me loud and clear.

"Bella, dear, you're going to butt heads with Carlisle quite frequently when discussing Edward, but don't take it too personally, okay? I'm begging you. He loves you just as much as he ever did, and in his mind, he's only trying to look out for you."

"But you don't believe what he's doing is right, do you?" I questioned after having picked up on her indifference.

She glanced around us before leaning in and murmuring into my ear. "We'll talk tomorrow, Bella."

It was then that Carlisle walked in, followed by Emmett and Jasper. Carlisle hugged me goodbye which, in all honesty, was awkward as fuck considering our heated exchange earlier. Jasper basically left with a glare and not a word of apology or anything, and Emmett…well, he told me to call him if I needed anything. And that was only _after _begging me to let him take a few of the leftover hamburger patties home. I kept a couple just in case Edward and I got hungry later and—much to Emmett's delight—sent him home with the rest.

When the last car finally pulled away from the curb and my driveway, I shot Edward a quick text to let him know it was safe for him to head this way. He didn't leave me waiting long before I got a response.

**Have you talked to Alice? –E**

Well, that was the last fucking thing I expected him to say.

**Not since we butted heads earlier. Why? –BS**

**Apparently someone fucking told her I was going back to your place and she called again to bitch me out and threaten me not to show up. –E**

**Don't you DARE listen to that shit. Get your ass over here. I'll handle Alice. –BS**

My blood was boiling. What the _fuck _was her problem? I quickly pressed the speed dial and waited for her to answer. When she picked up, I unleashed.

"Hello?" she greeted cheerfully, but even I could tell that it was fake…_through the fucking phone._

"Let's get one thing straight here. I don't know who the hell you think you are, but you _ will not _threaten or bitch out anyone in regards to coming to _my _house. You and I have some shit to straighten out, and we'll fucking deal with it tomorrow, but I'll be damned if you're going to stick your nose where it doesn't belong."

"Stick my nose whe—," she exclaimed. "Bella, he's my brother so I have…"

I had to stop her there. "Oh so _now_ he's your brother? He only matters when it's convenient for you! And even then you still treat him like shit!"

"If you would let me finish!" she shouted petulantly. "I called him because I'm on my way to your house now in hopes of talking to you and trying to settle what went down earlier."

"And instead of telling him that in a calm manner, you fucking bitched at him and threatened him! You might be able to get away with doing that shit to him and everybody else, but I'm not going to stand for it. You and I will talk tomorrow. Edward is coming back because there's something I need to talk to him about, and it's personal."

"You're doing it again. Why, after all I've done, are you cho-," she started but I angrily cut her off.

"I'm not fucking choosing _anybody_, but you royally pissed me off today, Alice. I saw a side to you today that I never thought would have been capable of coming from someone so loving and warm-hearted. The hatred that you hold for Edward has nothing to do with me, but I despise it. Either you can take the offer of talking tomorrow or you can drop it because either way, it's not fucking happening tonight."

"Oh come on, Bella! It'll only take a minute. He can fucking wait a bit; if the drugs haven't killed him yet, he'll live through waiting twenty to thirty minutes."

My voice dropped dangerously low, and anyone that knew me would know that that meant I was about a second away from completely exploding. "Here's what going to happen: you're going to show up and knock on my door, but I won't fucking answer. You're going to turn your cold fucking hearted ass around and drive right back home because I swear on all that's fucking holy, if you keep pushing me, I'll show you the side of me that _no one _wants to see."

I didn't even give her a chance to respond before ending the call. I loved Alice; she was my sister, but this side of her that I'd seen the past couple of days filled me with hate and anger that I quickly losing my grasp on. I wasn't even sure if her telling me her side of what she'd been through would even be enough to redeem herself in my eyes. The way in which she talked about and to Edward was fucking horrendous, and I sure as shit wasn't going to stand for it.

**Tomorrow it is. –A**

I scoffed as I read the text back a few times. To try and clear my head and calm down a bit, I went back into the kitchen to hopefully find something to cook. In no time I found some chicken breasts and all the ingredients I would need to make Chicken Parmesan, one of my favorites. Edward had done ridiculously fucking good with shopping for me. Now if only I could get him to do the same for himself. Hell, maybe I could even return the favor and do it for him.

I quickly located my tenderizer, which had thankfully already been unpacked. At least one thing went the way I _wanted it to today._

**EPOV**

She had track marks. Bella fucking Swan had track marks! There were several different scenarios that had crossed my twisted mind since she'd shown up on my doorstep yesterday. Several different scenarios to explain her vague answers regarding knowing the signs, and what it was like for me, the reason why none of it really fazed her.

Never.

Never in a thousand—hell, make it a million—fucking years did I think that an addiction of her own would be the explanation. Being that whatever she was on was intravenous, she had most likely been worse off than me. I couldn't even begin to imagine what it had been like for her to have dealt with that shit, especially having a police chief as a father. And there was no way in hell she was faking that shit; you can't fake track marks.

When I'd lost my cool with her following the call from Alice, I felt like the world's biggest fucking tool. She'd been nothing but good to me at that point, and while I'd admit that there were things that were beginning to annoy the shit out of me, she hadn't deserved that. The shock that registered on her face really drove home the fact that I'd hurt her, no matter how right I thought I was. But when she showed me the marks, I wanted to crawl into a fucking hole and die. It was obviously something she was embarrassed by and didn't want to show _anyone _but my callous words had pushed her to that point. And now…now I couldn't quit thinking about it. She actually wanted to tell me her story and—my antisocial tendencies be damned—I desperately wanted, no, I _needed _to fucking listen and hear her out. I owed her that much. It was all part of the process to figuring out the enigma that was Bella Swan.

I wanted to know what she'd really been up to. Fuck it—I wanted to know everything there fucking was to know about her, and I couldn't explain why. This shit wasn't like me at all. For two years now, I'd strayed away from getting to know anyone outside of Aro and his crew; no women. But yet, she comes along and almost immediately, the defenses I had against women that had always worked were suddenly rendered useless. There was no use in lying; I was fucking attracted her, and it was bad. I had to keep my mind distracted when I was in her presence because if I just sat back and let it run away, my dick went from flaccid to rock fucking hard within seconds. And the worst part about that was, I could tell that she was attracted to me as well. Would I ever let myself go and actually pursue something with her? Highly fucking unlikely. No matter how attracted to her I was, no matter how much she might come to mean to me, I was positive that my heart would never be ready to put itself in a predicament where someone could obliterate it again.

Yeah, you can say it. I was completely jumping the fucking gun. I had only been reunited with her last night, but still, to feel this strongly already was freaking me the fuck out, almost to the point of needing a few days of space from her.

After she spilled her guts and shit to me.

I just hope like hell that she wasn't going to start crying because I'm a man; I don't do crying. I can't handle it, and chances were if she started, I would either join her, or I'd need a fix to calm the anxiety that would surely settle over me. Earlier today had been different. I knew what had upset her and it revolved around me. I was fucking used to seeing people cry because of my sorry ass, but dealing with someone crying over something that had nothing to do with me was a different story.

Would I tell my side of things when she finished? Fuck no. Doing so would be opening myself up to a world of pain, to being judge, shit that I buried deep in the far recesses of my mind. Granted, it was the shit that I dwelled on daily, but I didn't speak of it with anyone, and don't see myself ever fucking doing so.

Any fucking way, the minute that Bella had dropped me off back at the house, I regretted ever asking her to bring me. Yeah, I needed a fix like nobody's fucking business, and I hated that I'd caused a rift with her and my family, but it felt good to be around her. To be treated as if I somehow mattered.

I know, I know, my head is a fucking twisted pile of shit inside. I missed feeling needed, missed feeling cared for, but when you live so long without either of those and instead loathe yourself, that's what your left with.

I had just had my second fix since being back home when she began texting me about something else having gone down. I was actually glad that she asked if she could come by and confounded that she had offered to buy me a fucking carton of cigarettes.

For what? Being a supreme asshole and ruining your day?

Instead of allowing her that, I told her that I would go to her, but only when the fucking family had left. I didn't want to deal with any more of their bullshit today, and I knew that Bella didn't either. At least she'd seen firsthand today exactly how they interacted with me. The search that Carlisle, my father, had tried to perform on me was nothing new. In fact, I went through that shit every fucking Sunday. Hell, even my fucking car went through a search. Carlisle usually checked me while Emmett checked my car. I fucking hated it and it made me feel like I'd reached the ultimate bottom and was nothing more to them than the dirt beneath their fucking feet.

And I needed to fucking quit thinking about that shit because I'd already had two fixes, and with the limited fucking stash they'd given me, I couldn't afford to be reckless and have another. So I began gathering what liquor I had in my house which was mainly Crown, Jack, and Vodka. I couldn't remember if I fucking had anything else. All I knew was that I hoped Bella was okay with me sleeping on her floor because I planned to drink my fucking ass off tonight, and I most likely wouldn't make it back home. From what I knew of her, she'd fucking kick my ass from here to Sunday if I even thought about driving home drunk and under the influence of drugs. And I don't mean that jokingly. There was no doubt in my fucking mind that that woman could knock me the fuck out.

While I was still searching my liquor supply, my phone began to ring in my pocket, and like the damn fool I am, I answered before checking to see who the fuck it was.

"Where are you?"

"Why do you fucking care where I'm at?" I bit out.

"Just answer the damn question! Are you at Bella's or not?"

"No, I'm not, but I will be soon," I told her, sighing loudly. I didn't have time for this shit.

"You've done enough damage today, and I need to talk to her. Stay the fuck away from her, Edward!"

"Or what, Alice? What could you possibly fucking do to me that you or someone else hasn't already done? Throw me in jail? I've been there. Cut me off? Every single one of y'all have already done that! You can't do shit, and there's no way in hell I'm going to let you fucking threaten me. Bella needs to talk to me, so I'm going."

"Oh really? What is so important that it can't wait?"

"None of your fucking business, and did you really think I would ever tell you?" I laughed darkly, hung up the phone and put it on silent. I'd had about enough of her for today. Hll, I'd enough of her to last a fucking week.

Nearly fifteen minutes after that, Bella texted me to come over, and I didn't want to fucking show up and find Alice there so I asked her if she'd talked to her. She was pissed, that much I could tell just from her texts. After fucking loading the liquor into my trunk, I headed toward Bella's.

When I pulled up and Alice's car was nowhere in sight, I knew Bella had handed her ass to her because if I knew my sister, she had called me from the curbside of Bella's house. Hell, she was probably there when Bella got a hold of her. I quickly grabbed my carton of smokes from the backseat and the bags of liquor from the trunk before heading inside. I tried knocking on the door a few times, but she wasn't answering and the protective side of me started to panic. I checked her doorknob and it made me sick to see that she hadn't locked it. Anybody could have walked the fuck in and that made my stomach turn. My lifestyle had made me aware of exactly how sick and fucking evil people could be and just thinking something like that could happen to Bella fucked with me. I was going to have to make it a fucking point to mention that shit to her.

I pushed the door open and hollered out for her, but she didn't answer. Instead, all I heard was pounding coming from the kitchen. When I walked in, I had to fucking laugh. Petite Bella Swan stood at her kitchen counter holding a meat tenderizer as she pounded away and what—upon closer inspection—now seemed to be massacred chicken. It was past tenderized.

"You know, I could refer you to a great anger management doctor," I spoke up, watching as she lifted her head to glare at me while continuing to pound the tenderizer into the… "What the fuck is it that you're punishing anyway?"

"It's chicken, and I'm tenderizing it, jackass!" she replied before putting it away.

"Doll, judging from the way it looks now, you tenderized that shit a long ass time ago. Now you're just being fucking inhumane."

"And like you give a fuck about what's humane and what's not," she laughed loudly.

"So, what's the chicken for?"

"Well, Einstein, I thought I'd pull some out and beat it a little bit, get that extra aggression out," she answered with a wink and smirk.

"You know what I fucking meant," I said with a roll of my eyes.

"I'm making Chicken Parmesan for dinner."

"You don't have to cook, Doll. We're just going to be getting drunk anyway," I told her with a shrug and took a seat on a barstool.

"When was the last time you had someone cook for you, Edward?"

Dammit, and in settles the guilt. She was fucking cooking _for _me. While I appreciated the effort and it was sweet and all that shit, I didn't deserve it. In my personal opinion, she should have been kicking my ass the moment I walked in the door. My mind didn't get too carried away though because before I fucking knew it, she'd slapped me upside the fucking head. My head whipped to the side as I fixed her with a fucking glare. _No one _got away with that shit.

Ever.

But for some fucking reason, I remained silent and stayed with the murderous stare.

"Don't give me that fucking look, Eddie. I told you that I wasn't going to stand for you to talk about yourself that way, and I could see the damn wheels in your head turning. Earlier today, things got out of hand and emotions ran high, that's all. You were right in the things you said, plus you'd been through hell."

"Yeah, but just because I was right, doesn't _make _it right, Bella. And for future fucking reference, don't ever hit me in the head like that again, and I'm saying that as nice as I possibly can. That shit is the best way to piss me off and I don't take lightly to it."

Another thing that had come to my attention was that after slapping me, she hadn't taken her hand out of my fucking hair. She…wait…was she?

She was fucking playing with my goddamn hair!

"So not what I expected," she muttered to herself as she stared at her hand moving in my hair as if it was the eighth wonder of the world.

"I'm sorry, what? And what the fuck are you doing?"

"Your hair, it's so misleading."

Completely unfazed, or oblivious to my struggle, she leaned in further and continued in her play. "I can't fucking figure it out. When you look at it, it seems like you haven't run a brush through it since Jesus was a baby. It just looks like a matted rat's nest and I was actually weary on making contact with it, but now that I have…it's so fucking soft," she murmured.

Okay.

Time out.

_What the fuck?_ Seriously?

I reached up and took hold of her wrist, pulling her hand from my so called 'rat's nest' and leaned back as far as I could without falling out of my seat. I needed distance from her scent and her fucking inviting cleavage. "Are you fucking stoned or some shit?" I asked her with a humorless laugh.

Again, she caught me off guard and moaned. Need I point out why that was fucking bad for me? "No, but believe me, after the day I've had, I fucking wish I was."

Thankfully, that seemed to distract her from my hair as she went back to preparing dinner.

"So, what the hell went down after I left?"

Her eyes cut across to me and I swear that I fucking saw her lip curl. "Long story short, Carlisle is what happened. Fucking everything was fine until he provoked me. I was forced to hand his ass over to him, and—I won't go into detail—but it pushed me to the point of needing to go outside for air before I knocked the ever-loving fuck out of someone. Then Emmett fucking came outside while I was talking to you on the phone and instead of walking away, he stood there and eavesdropped. So my guess on Alice finding out would be from Emmett, or Emmett told Jasper and he told her."

"What did Carlisle say to you, Bella?" I asked as I narrowed my eyes at her.

"Don't worry about it, Edward. It would only hurt you more, and I won't do that. I won't be a messenger, either."

"So, it was in regards to me?" I scoffed and looked down. I fucking hated my life.

"I said don't worry about it. Tell you what, how about you break open one of those bottles of liquor?" she suggested, raising a brow at me.

"What's your poison?" I shot back.

"What ya got?" she asked. That was a fucking loaded question and thank _ fuck _she wasn't on the other side of this counter in viewing distance of my fucking traitorous groin. I busied myself and began pulling out the bottles I'd brought as she attended to something else in the kitchen.

"I think I'm gonna fix myself a crown and coke," she sighed all happy and shit as she walked over to the fridge.

"Grab two of those cokes, Doll."

As she dug in the fridge for the cokes, I quickly averted my gaze to a far corner of the kitchen, not fucking stupid enough to look at her bent over.

"Hey, I never did thank you for getting my groceries. How much do I owe you?"

I shook my head at her. Go figure, the one good thing I've done for somebody in a long time, and she expects that she has to pay me back. "Nothing," I responded nonchalantly as I got up and grabbed a couple of glasses from her cabinet.

"Oh hell no," she exclaimed in a low tone. "There's no way I'm letting you foot the bill for my groceries, Edward. You completely stocked my kitchen. I want to pay you back."

"I said no," I ground out. "Look, if you're really set on paying me back, double the batch of cookies or whatever it is you decide to make me, but please, just let me do this one fucking thing for you okay?" I watched her, waiting for her to nod her head or some shit to let me know that she was cool with it.

I didn't know why that particular moment brought it to light, but suddenly, I could fucking see her stress written all over her. Her mannerisms, her facial expressions…it seemed like she had a huge weight on her chest, and I completely didn't understand it.

As her hands began to shake while pouring our drinks, I placed my hand on her shoulder. "Hey, why don't you come have a smoke with me?"

"It'll be finished in just a minute. As soon as I put the chicken in and the timer set, I'll go outside. I understand if you need some air though."

"Okay, what the fuck just happened, Doll? You were fine a second ago and now you look like I just ran over your fucking dog. Was it something I said?"

Catching me off guard, she actually fucking snickered at that and slapped my arm.

"You can talk to me, Bella," I whispered, hoping that she wasn't suddenly thinking about fucking shutting down on me.

"I know that. I'm just fucking afraid that by the time I'm done talking, you're going to believe that's the only fucking reason I came here."

Fuck. I hadn't thought of that. Was it possible? Could this shit with Bella all be an act? Was this my family's final ploy at fucking with my life?

**I know, I know I said that we would have Bella's story in this chapter, but they all got carried away in this one and there was no stopping them. **

**I split the chapter into two parts and the second one will be up either tomorrow or Friday. That's a promise!**

**Thanks for reading and leave me some love~!**

**T**


	12. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

**EPOV**

I narrowed my eyes at her and frowned.

"Is it?"

"I swear to you, Edward; I didn't know shit about you until the day I actually got here."

"If my family had fucking put you up to getting in my head and manipulating me into getting help, would you tell me?"

"No because I wouldn't fucking agree to it to begin with. I'm not going to manipulate you, Edward, and I'm not trying to get into your fucking head. Hell, the only reason I want to tell you about the shit I went through is so you'll understand where I'm coming from regarding my anger toward your family, and why I am so hell bent on being there for you. If you don't want to listen, that's fine; I won't tell you. And as I told you earlier, you and Charlie are the only people that know. "

Before I could even think of a response, the oven fucking beeped and minutes later, we were out on her porch smoking.

"So, none of this has anything to do with you trying to pull off an intervention?" Fucking sue me. I had to ask. Regardless of how cool she'd been, how hot she was, or how easy she was to be around, the fact still remained that she'd only shown up here yesterday and I didn't fucking know her anymore, at least not like I used to.

"Of course not. Look, I'm not going to lie and say that I don't hope you someday want to get clean, but one thing I've learned is that you can't get clean unless you want it for yourself. Doing it to please someone else will only backfire and when you relapse, it becomes worse than it was before. So, no, I'm not trying to perform a fucking intervention, and if your family were to bring it up to me, I'd tell them to go fuck themselves. They don't know a damn thing about what type of life I led in Louisiana, and I plan to keep it that way."

"Doll, they're going to catch on to the fact that there's something you aren't telling them. And believe me, when they get a hunch or a theory pops up in their heads, they're going to fucking run with it. Your secret is safe with me, but if Alice or Emmett catch sight of those track marks…" I started to say as she cut me off.

"They'll turn their backs on me like they did you?" she questioned though it came across more in the form of a statement. I stayed silent and broke eye contact to look aimlessly into the night. Our conversation was starting to move in the direction of what I'd been through and there was no way in fucking hell I was going down that road tonight or any other night, if I had anything to say about it.

I cleared my throat and turned my head, meeting her eyes once more. "How old are they?"

"What?" she asked, her brow furrowing in confusion.

"The track marks. I can see that they aren't fresh, so how old are they?"

"Coming up on three months next week."

I narrowed my eyes at her, watching her every move to see if she was bullshitting me, but she remained like a wall and the look in her eyes told me all I needed to know.

"Fuck, you really did move here to get away from what happened back there, didn't you?"

Her eyes then went downcast as she took in a deep breath. She took a long pull off her cigarette before turning to me.

"Let's go inside."

Bella left no fucking room for me to say anything else. I followed her inside and took a seat at her bar, her sitting beside me because, well, there wasn't a couch or even a fucking kitchen table.

"You, uh, you left in a damn hurry, huh?" I joked as she looked over at me with her eyes narrowed.

"Before you hate on my lack of furniture, remember that it was you who suggested coming here. If you had just listened to me, we could be sitting comfortably on your designer couch."

"Well, now if you're going to start dodging questions already, I really see no point in me being he…"

I was cut short by Bella jabbing my in the ribs, nearly knocking my ass off my fucking stool. We both laughed for a second before she grew somber again.

"It started two years ago. At the time, I was still doing well with my bakery. Everything in my life was going great, you know? I had a great job doing something I loved, I was closer to my dad than I'd ever been, but I was alone. I was fucking tired of being alone. To be honest, I person I was then is the Bella all of you remember."

"What changed?" I asked quirking a brow at her and taking a sip of my drink.

"Jacob Black happened," she whispered, looking down at her lap. If she was about to fucking tell me that he had hurt or attacked her in some way, I would have to leave. One thing I wouldn't fucking allow Bella to see was me in a fit of rage. I wasn't safe for anyone to be around. My lifestyle had instilled that in me over time.

Then she continued. "Charlie's best friend, Billy Black was Jacob's father; he was also the one who got Charlie the job there when we moved from here. Anyway, after losing you guys and moving down there, I didn't know anyone and for the longest fucking time, I wouldn't speak. Charlie would have to literally force me to eat at times, and I didn't want to go outside. Eventually, he started thinking that if he brought Jacob over, he could somehow break me out of my shell being that he was the same age as me. It wasn't something that happened overnight or anything but we eventually became best friends. Two years ago, things changed between us and we started dating. Until that point, Jake was the best person I knew; he had the purest soul. About two or three weeks into our relationship, I began to see that the Jacob I'd grown up around, the guy I'd called my best friend for years was suddenly alien to me. I discovered over time that he was the go-to drug dealer of Jeff Davis Parish."

"I thought you lived in Lake Arthur?"

"I did, but in Louisiana, they have parishes. Each parish has a certain number of cities. In our case, Jeff Davis consists of five. Anyhow, he ran the fucking scene there. I didn't know what to think of it, but I sure as fuck didn't like it; after all, I was the police chief's daughter and y'all knew even way back when that I was a daddy's girl. But no matter how much shit I witnessed, I couldn't bring myself to turn him in or turn my back on him because I loved him too much. And to be perfectly honest, I was afraid about what would happen to me if I even tried. I mean, fuck, I'd watched what happened to people that crossed him, and most of them left the warehouse in pieces that Jacob's men stored in trash bags and then disposed of out in the swamp. There were very few that made it out of his clutches alive."

"Bella," I rasped, unable to get a fucking control on my anger. Just hearing what I had so far had me pissed off, and she hadn't even gotten to the part about how she got hooked on the drugs, but I had a pretty good idea. What sucked about this is that so far, there was a shit ton of her story that I could relate to, that hit home for me, but I wasn't about to volunteer that information. I guess, in a way, it only proved that what she said about not trying to manipulate me was the truth. No one outside of myself and Aro's crew knew about the shit we were involved in.

"What's wrong?" Her soft voice broke me from my inner ramblings.

"What?"

"Well you interrupted me and then I lost you. You okay?"

"Oh shit, sorry," I answered her and then remembered exactly what made me lose focus to begin with. "Bella, this prick…did he ever fucking hurt you?"

"Physically or emotionally?" she asked, quirking a brow at me.

"Both I guess, but I mainly meant physically."

"Sometimes. Let me get to the part where I actually got involved in the shit they were doing, okay?" At first, from her tone, I thought she was turning bitchy on me, but her eyes told a different story, not that that meant I could read them any fucking better than before. I nodded and swallowed down my craving for another cigarette. The high from my last fix was beginning to wear off, and I really didn't want to interrupt her to go and remedy that in the damn bathroom.

"You need a cigarette, don't you?" she questioned. I jerked my eyes to hers in shock. That shit was fucking creepy.

"How the _fuck _did you pick up on that?"

"Eddie, you've been eyeballing the pack on the bar for the past few minutes. Just go ahead and light up. I'll go grab something to ash in, okay?"

"You sure you're cool with me smoking in the house, Doll? I can wait; it's not that big a deal."

"It's okay for tonight and every once in a while, but once I get furniture and all that shit set up, then I'll be a bit more picky about it."

After bringing me a red Solo cup full of water, Bella helped herself to a cig and also lit up.

"So, how did you go from daddy's little girl to an addict?" I questioned, watching as she inhaled and looked down to her hand which was gripping her drink.

"Jacob liked to throw parties, and when he did, there were—as you can probably guess—tons of drugs and users. I never did care for going to the parties and most times, I preferred to just stay up in our bedroom. I'd moved in with him by this point, kind of forgot to mention that. Anyway, one night, I had come down to get a drink out of the kitchen and he caught me. His henchmen—or goons, that's what I call them—flanked both sides of him. He cornered me and held up the syringe, telling me to take a hit. I kept telling him no, but to Jake, no always meant yes. He kept going on and on about how one hit wasn't going to do anything but make me feel good , and while I wanted to believe him, I knew he was blowing smoke out his ass. I'd seen what drugs did to people, and I didn't like it. But I was also young, naïve, and in love, and the thought of Jacob breaking up with me or actually harming me scared me bad enough to where I just said 'fuck it' and tried it."

"Fuck, that's all it took, wasn't it?"

"All the anger, the pain, everything that had disappointed or hurt me in my lifetime just disappeared. I was free. Before I fucking knew it, I was needing a fix every thirty minutes. The more addicted I became, the more I pulled away from Charlie, and the more shit I got into. Eddie, there's shit that I've done that I'll never fucking forgive myself for. And a lot of it, if ever traced back to me, could end Charlie's career. Jake, because I was the police chief's daughter, he had me breaking into the evidence room when his supply would get low. I was putting Charlie's job at risk every day for a fucking year and a half."

Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Her fucking chin was beginning to quiver. If she started to cry, before I would be of any use to her as comfort, I would have to excuse myself to the damn bathroom and have a fix because with my nerves already shot, there was no way in hell I could handle that shit.

"How did Charlie react to that when you told him?"

Her eyes grew wide as she actually glared at me. "I haven't fucking told him. I don't know how, and I fear that even with all we've been through, that would be something he sees as unforgivable."

"So you're in the same predicament as me? He's turned his back on you?"

"_Never,_" she growled. She actually fucking growled at me. "I remember the exact moment my feelings for Jake changed. It completely shifted my self-worth and image, and it really fucked me up, but I was in so deep with the shit we were involved in that I didn't see any fucking way out. Until a new rival came to town. Little by little, this guy was taking over Jake's territory without him even realizing it. Jake fell for a ploy set up by his own men to work out a deal with this guy. Laurent was set to buy ten pounds of…"

"Laurent?" I reiterated. If this was the same fucking guy I was thinking of….no. It fucking couldn't be. "Laurent Plaxton?"

Bella's eyes narrowed and her entire facial expression changed. It told me all I needed to know without her even uttering a fucking word more.

"How the hell do you know that name?" she asked, her voice dropping dangerously low.

"Finish your fucking story and then I'll tell you what I know," I replied. There was no way I was offering up anything until I knew exactly what she was involved in when it came to Plaxton.

"Jake should have known better than to let his guys set the deal up, but he did it anyway. Instead of meeting in his warehouse like he normally did, the deal was conducted out on the boardwalk. Little did we know, while he was in talks with Laurent, the guys had allowed Laurent's men into the warehouse. When Jake returned, his was shot to death. I wasn't actually there, but when Jake's father, Billy, came over to Charlie's the next day, he basically filled us in on everything he'd learned from Jake's guys. They made it all out to look like some kind of ambush, and Billy fucking blamed me for the whole thing. He claimed that I was nothing but trouble and that I was responsible for the shit that Jake had gotten himself into. He blames me for his death and everything. I soon learned that all of Jake's guys had gone to work for Laurent. I'd never actually met or even seen the guy myself, so we don't think he knows about me, but at the same time, Jake's guys did."

"Bella, you don't get it. It doesn't fucking matter whether you've met or seen him before. If Jake's guys knew about you, chances are they've told Plaxton. I don't mean to fucking scare you, but I fucking promise you that he's looking for you. Being that you were involved with Jake and knew about the deal and everything, that leaves you as a witness and a threat to him. At any given moment, you could turn him in on what you know."

"Edward, you need to tell me how the fuck _you_ know him."

"He used to run the drug ring out here, too. Someone bigger came to town and forced him out. All I know is what I've heard and believe me, none of it is good. That fucker arranged hits to take care of any and all people that posed a threat to his business. He was ruthless."

"If he was so ruthless and hardcore, how did a nobody run him off?" she challenged, taking another drink.

"They did their homework and watched him for months. They knew his day-to-day routines, where he lived, his usual buyers…they knew everything and when the perfect moment presented itself, they struck. Little by little, they destroyed the base he had established here. No one knew where he'd disappeared to, but I guess now we know."

"So you're basically telling me that I need to watch my back?" she laughed.

"Did any of Jake's men know where you moved to?"

"Well, Charlie told Billy, and with as much as he hates me, I can fucking guarantee that he told them."

"I just think you need to be aware of the people around you at all times. If something strikes you as odd, I want you to come to me about it, okay?"

"Edward, you've got enough shit on your plate. You don't need my added baggage," she scoffed, lighting up another cigarette.

"That's a hell of a thing for you to say to me. What have you been doing since you've been here? You've taken on my sorry ass. The only place associating with me is going to bring you is down. Now, I know there's more to tell so get on with it."

**BPOV**

The smirk on his lips both lit a fire in me and pissed me off. "You expect me to let you get away with that shit? You aren't a sorry ass. Right now, you're just Edward, the man that doesn't bathe and has a hole in his foot."

"You are such a bi…" he started with a laugh until I narrowed my eyes at him. I supposed that he was recalling what happened the last time he'd called me a bitch.

"Go on, say it. I'm such a what? A bitch?"

"An annoying little brat," he gritted out, running a hand through his hair and looking away as he put his cigarette out in the cup.

"Ooo, big word there. I'm hurt."

"Shut the fuck up and finish what you were saying, Swan."

I knew what I'd told him so far was getting to him. I could see it written all over his face. He was trying to seem like he didn't care and wasn't affected so far, but I knew better. And the shit with Laurent Plaxton, talk about a complete mindfuck. How did shit like that even happen? What were the chances that I'd leave Louisiana and move to Seattle to start over, only to fucking find out that a friend from my childhood actually knew of the prick I was trying to get away from?

"After everything with Jake and Billy went off on me, I went into hiding. Charlie put me up in a safe house as he knew about Laurent and had been after him for months. To this day, he still doesn't know the full extent to which I was involved with Jake's dealings, but he knew that there was a chance Laurent would be coming after me. Nightmares weren't allowing me much sleep, and when I was awake, I was plagued with grief over Jake's death. Granted, I hated him and was no longer in love with him, but it still hurt and saddened me all the same. I would get to thinking and all of the good memories would overwhelm me. It got to be so painful that I began having anxiety attacks and shit. Without having my connection to Jake, and with all the dealers I knew now working for Laurent, I was forced into withdrawals. Eventually, Charlie picked up on that fact and more or less pushed me into going to a rehabilitation facility. I fought him for a while, but in the end, I realized that I didn't want to continue living that way anymore. I was in the worst physical health I'd ever been in. I was half the size I am now due to the drugs, and I just wanted to get back to being me. I wanted a normal fucking life. Though that was easier said than done. I'd already fucked all of my dreams up with the times I'd been charged with being in possession."

"You actually went to prison?" he asked, his jaw dropping comically.

"Fuck no. Charlie always found a way around it. I swear, without him, I'd be dead today. I never would have made it through the withdrawals alone. I'd have taken my own life before I could get fully sober. He refused to give up on me and was there every step of the way in helping me piece my life back together. The rehab wasn't a walk in the fucking park, that's for damn sure, but it's what got me to where I am today. I don't trust anyone outside of myself and Charlie because I've been burned so many fucking times. There's shit that I went through that I haven't even fucking told you, Eddie. I see what I went through and how having the support of Charlie kept me alive, and then I look at your family and…it's not fucking right, okay? I don't want to make anything harder for you, Edward, I really don't. But I'm going to try my damnedest to get through to them and try to make things better for you. Regardless of what you've done or what they think you've done, they never should have shunned you the way they have."

The look in his eyes as I spoke broke my fucking heart. I could literally see the pain in his eyes. The devastation left by his parents and siblings. They had failed him, not the other way around.

"I understand what you're trying to do and what you're saying, Doll, but it's pointless. There's nothing you can say to them that will change things. They've gave up a long ass time ago, and I'm fucking through trying to fix it, so please, stop. I'm saying this the nicest way I possibly fucking can, okay? Let it go. It's only going to make things worse, and I can't deal with any more. I honestly don't mean to come off as a complete dick in saying this, so don't take it that way, but things were as good as they were going to get before you showed up here. I'd accepted that they didn't want me around and that I wasn't a part of the family anymore. In the past two days, more shit has been stirred up and it's like I'm going through hell all over again."

"Then why do you still go for dinner on Sundays?" I questioned as he shook his head and stood from the barstool. He began to pace around the empty space of the kitchen, mumbling incoherently to himself.

"Because, I made a promise to my mother back when I left for college that I would always make it home for Sunday dinner, and so far, I've kept my fucking promise."

I could tell that we needed to end this conversation and change to a new topic really quick because he was beginning to feel cornered and his need for a fix was quickly escalating. I stood and cut him off near the fridge.

"I've only got one more thing to say to you, and then we can shoot the shit about something else, okay?"

He didn't nod or anything. He simply stared down at me completely lost, his eyes hiding nothing about the pain he was feeling in his heart. I wished like hell I could get him to open up to me and let it all out, but he struggled with the same issues I did. The only reason I even fucking told him was because I thought it might help him, that it might give him reason to fight back against his family, but instead, it had only hurt him further.

"I may not be your blood, but I'm here. Anything you need, I'll be here. I won't turn my back, that I can promise you. I just thought you should know. You aren't alone."

I reached out and took his hand. Edward's eyes shifted down at our hands for just a moment before looking back at me, torture reflected in his eyes.

"Don't say something you can't take back, Doll. You don't want to have my shit to worry about. I've hurt enough people already without even fucking meaning to. And you've been put through enough."

"You don't trust me; I can see that plain as day , but hopefully, with time I can change your mind on that. As for me going back on my word, that won't fucking happen, Edward Cullen." I dropped his hand, fire in my eyes, as I then straightened my posture and glared at him.

"You do realize that in a matter of a day and a half, you've managed to manipulate me into hugging you twice. I'm not falling for that shit a third time."

"I have done no such thing. You're just a pussy. It would be a hell of a lot easier if you'd just admit that to yourself. Now, enough of this sappy, spill my guts shit. I need a fucking drink, and I'm talking something a hell of a lot stronger than Crown and coke. You game?"

Edward arched his brows at me and then swiftly moved to the bar. "You're amazing. How the fuck do you go from offering comfort and being all sweet and shit, to insulting me minutes later? Then seconds after that you turn around and get all fucking giddy about sharing a drink!"

"You know you like it, so stop your bitching."

I walked past him on my way to use the bathroom when he took me by surprise, wrapped his arm around my neck and pulled me into his side. I twisted my head up to smirk at him, eliciting a deep bellied laugh from him. "For the record, I'm not admitting shit."

I really, really hoped that in time, he'd take what I had told him and realize that there was hope for him, and dare I say, even his family but I was no fool. There was a long fucking road ahead , and given what all had happened in the span of one day, even I was beginning to lose faith that the Cullen's would ever see the error of their ways. It was a far-fetched thought, but maybe…just maybe if I got Charlie down here, he could talk some fucking sense into Carlisle.


	13. Chapter 12

**First, let me just start by saying I am so sorry for the delay in getting this chapter out! A million things have been going on and I'm slowly coming out on the other side LOL! (Damn, that sounded a little suggestive…OOPS) **

**I won't keep you long, though! See y'all at the bottom!**

**EPOV**

I was fucking moving in.

Bella hadn't the slightest clue as I hadn't exactly told her, but it was the only option. Well…the only _legal _option; I was pretty damn sure that kidnapping her and holding her hostage under my roof would qualify as illegal. But dammit, the parmesan chicken she'd cooked was probably the best meal I'd fucking eaten in years. And that really says something considering that up until I'd eaten an hour ago, my mother's cooking ruled my life, at least it did every Sunday. I mean, let's be honest; my diet nowadays consisted of store-bought snack cakes, soft drinks, and microwavable dinners. It wasn't that I was a bad cook, because I was damn awesome if I do say so myself, but the fact of the matter was that I was normally too fucking stoned and drunk to trust myself in the kitchen. The last time I'd attempted it, I'd bit into what was supposed to have been meatloaf. My stomach turned just at the mere remembrance of how badly I'd jacked that shit up.

"Quit looking at me like that." Bella's voice broke me from my thoughts as I looked at her in confusion.

"Like what?"

"Like you're in love with me or some shit. Starting to creep me out, Eddie," she replied with a laugh. She was currently stretched out across her kitchen floor on a blanket, her hands rubbing her stomach as I sat perched up on a barstool.

"After the fucking meal I just ate, you aren't too far off the mark. Where the hell did you learn to cook like that?"

"Ha ha. I mostly taught myself. I guess you could say I also picked up a few tips from culinary school."

I glanced at her shamefully, having forgotten her going to culinary school, but quickly wiped it from my face as she smirked smugly at me.

"Well, if you ever need a guinea pig to try a new recipe on, I'm your guy." I laughed and Bella cringed.

"Dude, seriously, stop that shit. Look, I normally cook like this every night because I can't stand doing fast food. My door is always open, and you're more than welcome to eat your meals here."

"First, I was attempting to fucking compliment you. Two, who says I need you to cook for me? And lastly, you're serious? You aren't just fucking with me?"

Bella continued to stare at me straight-faced for a few minutes longer before bursting into laughter. I couldn't find any humor in anything I'd said, so I sat there while she had her fun. I waited and soon enough, her laughs turned into soft giggles—I can't believe I fucking said giggle—and she panted to regain her breath.

"Okay, I'll make you a deal. I'll make you dinner every night, except Sundays, and you'll mow my yard every two weeks."

"What the fuck?" I exclaimed. "Not five minutes ago you offered basically the same thing minus the stipulation, and now, because I questioned it, you're fucking me?"

Okay, I'll admit that sounded really fucking pervy, and I just knew Bella had caught it by the almost sick expression on her face.

"Remember earlier today when you went off on me for things I said that were sexual in nature?" she asked, and I nodded. "Fucking practice what you preach."

"That wasn't what I meant, and you know that," I bit out. "Fine. It's a deal," I huffed as Bella winked before slowly rising to stand. As she did, my eyes caught sight of the track marks again, and I became deep in thought once more. She'd been through fucking hell—worse than my own—and yet here she stood, stronger than anyone I knew. Stronger than I could ever hope of being. I'd love to say I once was that strong, but the strength I held before my life went to shit was drastically different than what I assumed this to be. The life she had led and the battles she fought to get to where she was today took a certain kind of person. But then again, what the fuck did I know. I was just a loser that lost everything and drowned himself in narcotics and booze.

"What was your poison?" I asked, hoping to get my mind focused on something other than how miserable I fucking was.

"You stepped in what?" she joked, clearly not having heard me. I laughed and pointed to my arm, gesturing to her what I meant. "Oh," she answered quietly. "Heroin."

"Fuck. Was that all or did you dabble in other…"

"Why are we going back there, Eddie?" she asked, cutting me off. I didn't mean to piss her off, but then again, I couldn't tell if she was or not. Jesus fucking Christ, I even sound like a damn basket-case.

"I'm just making conversation. If you don't want to answer, you don't have to. This is just new and refreshing to me; to have someone that actually understands my bullshit, to have someone that won't judge."

Her eyes softened as she rose to sit and brought her knees to her chest, folding her arms atop them. "There was a lot of pot and loads of alcohol, but the drinking was never the problem. I tried meth once, but I almost crashed after using it hence the reason I never touched the shit again. They tried to get me to do a line of coke one time as well, but I'd just had a heroin fix and I passed out on the table before I was able to get the straw to my nose. I'm sure it's best that I never did considering how badly heroin fucked up my life. I don't even want to imagine what adding coke to that would have done."

"Jesus, Bella," I gruffly replied. "I don't understand it. How did you go from that to being as strong as you are now in just a couple of months? You said it's only been weeks and yet you're sitting here talking to me about it like it was years ago, and that's not all. Watching me itch for a fix and come down from a high can't be easy. Doesn't it fucking bother you?"

"If it bothered me, do you think I'd be so calm about everything?" she replied, arching a brow at me.

"Okay, and now the _honest _answer." I shot back.

"Edward, with you, it's different. You've been alone it seems for God only knows how long. It's easy for me to put the need to be there for you above all the rest. Do I get cravings around you? Yeah, I'll admit that I've been hit with a few, but don't you dare worry about that shit because I'm far enough along and strong enough in my sobriety not to fucking go there. If I start to feel myself slipping, I remove myself from the situation, and don't you take that to mean that I would abandon you because that won't happen. As I said before, I'm not going anywhere. I just mean that I'd need a few hours away or something of the sort. That and to answer your question of how; Edward, you're a doctor—or were, I don't know the full story—so you know that by going to rehab, you're literally forced into detox. You know that upon walking through the doors that you're there to get clean. Granted, if you can't hack it, you're free to check yourself out, but the way I saw it was, I got clean and despite the cravings, I was feeling amazing."

Regardless of what she said, I now felt like complete fucking shit. Being around me made things harder on her, and that was the last thing I wanted. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place because despite how bad it was for her—and how much it shocked the shit out of my system—I wanted to be around her and I fucking knew, without a doubt, that she would beat the shit out of me if I tried to push her away again.

As I sat there and pondered over all she'd told me, Bella rose and before I knew it, her arm reached behind me, putting her chest and wondrous cleavage right at eye level. I swallowed down the urge I had to motorboat her glorious tits and looked away. When she finally pulled back, she held what looked to be photographs in her hand.

"What's that?" I questioned, my voice coming out strained, causing me to clear my throat.

"Well, I've told you my story, or at least most of it, and I just figured that I should show you proof of just how bad off I was at one point."

"A-are you sure you want me to see that, Doll? If this is about you thinking I don't believe you…"

"Just take 'em, Edward!"

I took them from her hand and watched as she took a cigarette from the pack on the bar and lit it, turning her back to me. When I glanced down at the picture, my stomach violently turned and my heart broke. She was literally unrecognizable. Her beautiful eyes were sunken in and glazed over. Her cheekbones protruded from her skin and hollowed out beneath, giving her a genuine skeletal appearance. And her hair, which from what I'd seen so far was rich in color and shine, was dull and clung to her head in chunks, showing that her hygiene wasn't at its best in the photo. Bella was less than half the size she was now as she stood before me. I forced back words I wanted to say and moved on to the second picture. In this one, she was smiling brilliantly with her arm around a man that I once looked to as a second father. The biggest thing I noticed was that in this picture, she was the Bella I remembered from my childhood. She positively glowed with happiness; she was beautiful and had still held that look of innocence. That look that was no longer there.

Not wanting to possibly offend her by commenting on the difference, I went for the more conversational route. "Wow. Chief sure hasn't changed much. Looks exactly the way I remember him," I told her with a light laugh.

She didn't reply for a few minutes, which quite honestly made me fucking nervous. I was _thisclose _to shitting bricks when her voice finally broke the silence. "Edward, why were you so cold the day I left Forks? Why didn't you say goodbye?"

The torment in her voice caught me off guard and the look of anguish on her face even more so. _Fuck. I don't do emotional shit. How many times do I have to say that?_

"Doll…Bella, I…"

"Don't you feed me some bullshit. I just let you in, more than I have anyone in a while. At least answer me that one question. I mean, was it something I did?"

My head whipped around so fast that my head painfully spasmed. Probably wasn't the smartest fucking idea when I'd been consuming alcohol and needed a fix. Bella still wouldn't look at me. I was having a weird moment of déjà vu, something akin to the condition I'd found her in after the confrontation with Alice.

"What?" I exclaimed with a quick laugh. "No! What made you think…Nevermind. I thought we weren't going to talk about the sappy shit anymore," I told her, raising a brow at her and taking a quick sip from the Crown and Coke I'd fixed earlier.

"We aren't, and this isn't something I'd call sappy, Edward. It's bothered me since that day, and I'd just like to know why. You guys were my family. Hell, I spent more time with you, Alice, and Emmett than I did with my own parents! And I don't know, I thought that the last year or so of living there, you and I had actually formed a closer bond than we ever had before. I just…I don't know; I didn't see things ending the way they did."

**BPOV**

I watched as his eyes narrowed and his hand scratched at his jaw.

"I know you kept in touch with Alice for a while after you moved. Did she never explain anything to you regarding my actions that day?"

"Explain? No," I scoffed bitterly. "You never came up. I was too afraid to ask, felt like it was none of my business, and she never offered it either. It was exactly the way things played out this time as well, only this time I did ask."

A heavy sigh passed his lips as he took another long pull from his drink. "You realize that you're asking me to explain actions that happened fifteen years ago, right?"

I could tell from the look in his eyes that he really didn't want to revisit that period of time, and while I understood, it didn't help ease my sudden desperation to know. I'd always wondered about it, and lord knew, the scene had replayed in my head countless times. And I didn't know why I was so focused on it now.

"You know what? You're right; I'm sorry," I mumbled quietly before turning my back to him and rising to my feet to go out on my front porch. I knew—well, hoped—that he would follow me outside and after hearing a rather loud sigh from inside the house, I wasn't left disappointed. The heavy sound of his footsteps on the old boards of my porch told me he'd come outside, and that was later proven when he came into view beside me.

"I was heartbroken and angry. The night before you'd left, I literally begged Mom and Dad to let me go with you. I knew that we were basically the only family you had, next to the Chief. I was worried because I knew you were moving somewhere you weren't familiar with, and you didn't fucking know anyone out there. I didn't want you to be alone, and I didn't fucking want to be alone either. Like you said, you and I had formed a bond and truthfully, you were like my best friend back then. When you showed up and were saying goodbye, I couldn't get past the anger and then my thoughts turned selfish. You were going to eventually make new friends and you'd forget about us. The minute I thought that, I knew I was wrong. Then I looked over and saw everyone else around me reduced to tears."

"But if you saw that and you were upset, why did you still act so cold towards me?" I asked, turning my eyes to him. A minute later, his green eyes locked on my mine.

"Because in my thirteen year old mind, in order to rectify the selfish thoughts I'd had, I acted selflessly. I figured that if I acted as though I didn't care, it would make it easier for you to forget and move on."

"Jesus, Eddie," she laughed. "Did you not realize that it would hurt me instead?"

"Hey! Dammit, I was thirteen, Bella! Believe me; I've regretted that shit every day since. And the depression I suffered for the next couple of years was punishment enough. I was lost all through middle school. It wasn't until my junior year of high school that I actually began to get back in touch with everyone around me. When you didn't write me after you left, I just accepted that you'd done just as I'd suspected; you'd moved on."

"You suspected wrong, though. I only never wrote because I didn't think you wanted me to," I whispered.

A few minutes of silence passed before he shoulder bumped me, rather hard. I glanced over to see him smirking at me behind the lip of his glass.

"Looks like we were both wrong, huh? I'm fucking standing here with you, at your house in Seattle, sharing a drink and having a smoke."

I couldn't help but smile back and tap my glass against his.

"Apparently your cable isn't hooked up yet and you don't even have a tv, so since I'm here, why don't I help you finish unpacking?"

"You're kidding me, right?" I laughed with a roll of the eyes. "Dude, I'm tired of unpacking. Right now, I want to do anything _but._"

Edward smiled and looked away for a minute, but when he turned back I knew the wheels in his damn head were turning.

"Okay. How's this? We go up to Wal-Mart, since its open twenty-four hours, and buy you a TV and a stand. Hell, you could even get your kitchen table there if you fucking wanted. I could help you set it all up tonight, too."

"I thought you despised shopping?" My brow rose in question.

"It's electronics, Bella. I could shop for that shit all day long. It's crap like going to the fucking mall that I despise."

"All right, let's go. But I'm holding you to helping me get it all set up," I told him, poking at his chest.

*~C&B~*

Two hours or so later, I sat in my living room, trying my damnedest to quit laughing at Edward. The more I laughed, the more it pissed him off, but it was the funniest thing I'd seen in a while. True to his word, Edward had begun putting the TV stand and the kitchen table together once we'd gotten back to my house. Now, my table was perfectly assembled as we were more on the sober side and I actually helped him a bit with that one. However, by the time we'd gotten around to the TV stand, the mixture of the drugs and the amount of alcohol Edward had consumed left him with a bit more than just a buzz. He was borderline drunk. And the funniest part to me was that they manufacturing company hadn't fucking labeled any of the pieces to the stand, so Edward pretty much had to guess at what went where.

Some drunks were capable of doing quite a bit while inebriated, but clearly, Edward was _not _one of those. He'd been at it for about forty-five minutes so far, and he'd only managed to use four of the fifteen pieces. It didn't even come close to resembling _any _part of a TV stand.

"Eddie, dude, just leave it. We can both figure it out tomorrow when we aren't so fucked up," I laughed.

"Shut up, Swan. I've got this shit, and I'm doing fine. And clearly, it isn't me that's fucked up as I'm actually sitting here, attempting to put this together, while you're over there sitting on your ass, laughing it up like a damn hyena."

"Sitting on my ass?" I exclaimed with a loud laugh. "Maybe you should take a step back and look at your handy work, Eddie. You'll see that I'm actually the smarter one. I'm waiting until I'm not inebriated before I even think of touching that shit. The kitchen table was one thing because we weren't drunk then, but this, my friend, is totally different."

"Yeah, you must be drunk if you think that's going to stop me," he laughed and went back to resume his role of Bob the Builder.

*~C&B~*

I woke in the morning to a loud banging coming from the front door, and I would have, grudgingly, gotten up and answered it, but my body was restricted. How you ask? Because the six foot two oaf that was Edward had somehow wound up halfway on top of me. His mop of insane, bronze-copper hair, chest and arms literally had my upper torso pinned to the floor. He finally gave up on the TV stand—admitting to having been too drunk to focus on the instructions—at around four this morning. Me, well I would have crashed long before that but he insisted that since he was torturing himself to stay awake and complete the promise he'd made, that I had to stay awake with him and witness it's completion. He was fucking insane, but God help me, I couldn't say no to him. I wasn't sure whether that a good or bad thing to have developed so soon.

The banging continued, getting louder and louder the longer whoever the fuck it was stood at the door. I tried shoving Edward off of me, but the strain it took just to move him an inch caused my head to pound in excruciating pain. Minutes later, someone started shouting outside, and I soon realized that it was none other than Emmett. And then…the beast on top of me groaned and the worst smell I'd ever encountered wafted up from his mouth to my nose.

"Fuuuuccckkk, make him shut the fuck up….my head," Edward groaned, his voice gritty from all the smoking and alcohol we'd consumed from last night.

"Your head? What about my back? Or stomach from having just smelt your rank ass breath all up close and personal? Get off, please so I can answer the fucking door."

"Oh you're even bitchy in the morning," he muttered. "Good to fucking know."

"Hey, I said please, asshole," I bit back as he slowly rolled off.

"And name calling. You're so sweet," he scoffed and sat up, clutching his head tightly in hands as more pounding resonated through my house. "Doll, I swear if you don't answer that fucking door and shut his ass up right the fuck now, I'll do it for you and I won't be held responsible for the bodily damage I cause."

"Okay, okay, I'm on it. There's Advil in my purse. Help yourself."

"Don't hit me for this shit, but are you fucking pregnant or something? Your mood swings are beginning to give me whiplash."

"I'm too fucking tired and miserable to hit you right now, otherwise I so would. Now shut the fuck up, you're making my head hurt worse."

I slowly made my way to the door and when I opened it, Emmett damn near steamrolled me.

"What the fuck, Emmett?"

"Good lord, Bella! How fucking long does it take you to answer a goddamn door?" he shouted.

"One, what the fuck crawled up your ass? Two, I was up all fucking night. And three, ever heard of a thing called _a hangover_?" I watched in anger as his eyes cut across the room to where Edward sat on the floor still clutching his head.

"What did he give you?" Emmett growled lowly. I pushed my palm against his chest and angrily shoved him.

"You will _not _come into my fucking house and bark out accusations like that! He didn't give me shit, Emmett. I made dinner and then we went shopping for a fucking kitchen table, TV, and TV stand if you would have just taken a damn minute to look around. We drank while Edward put them together. That's it, not that it's any of your fucking business. I've got a pounding fucking headache from you waking my ass up, and I haven't even fucking heard why it is that you're here!"

"Mom and Dad are having a cookout tonight, and they're having a lot of people over. They wanted to extend the invitation to you. Mom was going to call but I told her that I was heading over here anyway because Rose wanted me to see if you wanted to meet her for lunch tomorrow. She would have called as well but we both lost your number." He smiled sheepishly.

I glanced over my shoulder to see Edward no longer clutching his head, but looking down with a defeated look on his face. And I knew exactly what put that there. I narrowed my eyes at Emmett.

"Well, I wish I could make it tonight, Em, but I've already got plans. I can meet Rose tomorrow though."

"Plans? What plans?" Emmett questioned, cutting his eyes back at Edward who was now glaring at him.

"Well, since the TV stand didn't get finished, Edward and I are going to work on that later, and I'd already planned to cook again tonight."

"I can see that the TV stand—if that's even what that is—isn't finished, but you're lying about dinner, Bella. If you don't want to be around us, just say it."

"Bullshit. I never said I didn't want to be around you guys, but I'm not going to sit here while you invite me to a huge gathering at your parents' house in front of Edward and then blatantly ignore him like he isn't even there. I really was planning on making dinner. Is there no decency or morals of respect left in this family? Because right now, I've yet to see any. Anything else?"

"Can't you even try to see our side?" Emmett exclaimed, furrowing his brow in aggravation.

"Believe me, I do see your side, but the part that I've seen and will _never _agree with is the fact that you all have turned your back on him. No one deserves that. And it sure as hell, in no way, resembles the family I remember when I left fifteen years ago. That family would have stuck together through thick and thin, no matter what happened or came your way. So you tell me, Em, what changed? And don't even think about blaming it all on Edward because whatever happened occurred long before that stuff started."

"Hey Doll, I think I'm gonna go, okay?" Edward mumbled from behind me. His voice was strained and forlorn, and I refused to let him leave like that.

"No!" I told him firmly as I blocked his path. "Emmett was just leaving."

Without argument, Emmett turned and walked out, slamming the door behind him.

"Bella, you should go tonight. I'd hate for you to miss out on that just because they want nothing to do with me," Edward said quietly moments later.

"No, Edward. They're trying to push me into taking sides and I won't do that."

"Doll, I hate to tell you, but you kind of already are picking sides. You just don't realize it. All this arguing with them in my defense is coming across as you picking my side. And believe me, I'm appreciative for it, but I don't want to see you shunned by the only family you've ever had, aside from Charlie, all because you chose to stick by me."

"So you expect me to just sit back and let them continue doing this to you?"

He laughed dryly and scratched at his head. "I'm used to it."

"Well I'm not! I can't stand that shit, Edward. I'm not asking that they just forget everything and act all lovey dovey, but dammit, they need to at least include you in things and not treat you as harshly as they do."

"Doll…" he began but I cut him off as I'd had enough with the discussion.

"There's a toothbrush and toothpaste in the bathroom," I told him, raising a brow as he smirked and turned to walk away.

"You're fucking impossible, you know that? Fuck, toss me the Advil first, would ya? My damn head is about to explode."

I dug around in my purse and took a couple of pills for myself before closing it and tossing the bottle to Edward.

"I told you were a fucking pussy!" I called after him, instantly grabbing my head from the mistake I'd made from yelling. Edward glared at me over his shoulder.

"Judging from the way you're wincing, that makes you one too," he whispered with a wink.

Shit, that wink.

Headache and warning signs be damned. My lady bits were screaming and I knew…just _knew…_

I was truly fucked.

**So what did ya think? Hope you guys are still with me! Next chapter, we get an explanation from Esme, and also Alice's story. **

**As always, please leave some love!**

**T**


	14. Chapter 13

**There was a bit of delay getting this one out, but thankfully, not as long as the last LOL! Sickness just keeps on hitting us hard and I'm getting further and further behind so please, bear with me until I can get things back on track. **

**For those that have reviewed, I am so sorry! I assure you all that I've read them but I just haven't had time to actually sit down and reply to them all. Someone pointed out that they were confused because they had thought Bella had told Emmett about her addiction early on in the story. That never happened. She simply said that she sympathized with the family's pain regarding Edward's addiction so I apologize for any confusion. **

**We are getting closer to the prologue and I'm beyond excited about that! **

**One last thing and then I'll shut my trap, I swear! A few have questioned me as to whether I plan to continue my other fic, Break Even. I HAVE NOT abandoned it. Writer's block has been a cold-hearted bitch where that is concerned and of course, Addictward isn't helping with all his damn nagging to get this fic out. I'm nearly done with the update for BE and it will be a doozy. Once I get that fricking chapter out, the updating should return back to normal. I apologize and hopefully you all are still with me *bites nails***

**Now, back to the task at hand, here's the update. See y'all at the bottom!**

**BPOV**

So things didn't go according to plan. I was supposed to have gone shopping with Esme on Monday. I could have been wrong, but something in my gut told me that my choosing to stay home and cook for Edward had something to do with why she and I were just now getting ready to go shopping.

A fucking _week _later.

Honestly, I wouldn't have changed my decision to miss their huge cookout for anything. I wasn't about to accept an invitation to something like that when Edward was sitting not ten feet from me. Emmett's blatant show of resentment was like rubbing it in Edward's face that I was acceptable to them, but he—one of their own flesh and blood—was not. I wasn't going to stoop to their level, and I never would.

Besides, Edward and I had a blast, once our damned hangovers passed, anyway. We'd laughed hysterically at the abomination of a TV stand that Edward had constructed the night before. What he'd failed to realize in his inebriated state that night was that the pieces were, in fact, labeled. Only, it wasn't with a sticker. They had been mechanically labeled with some kind of machine having printed the letters on the sides of the wood. Of course, he'd tried to blame all that shit on me, but in classic Bella Swan fashion—yes, I sometimes speak in third person—I reamed his ass for that. After it was finally completed, he took it upon himself to call a guy he knew who came over and installed a satellite dish for me and hooked me up with all the channels for free. Sure, it was illegal, but hey, I didn't give a fuck. People did that kind of thing all the time, so don't judge me.

We'd sat around the TV all damn day watching old school cartoons, such as the Smurfs, simply because there wasn't shit else on, and quite frankly, I didn't have the patience to explain to him everything about LOST. He'd literally begged to watch it, and after turning it on for twenty minutes and being asked a thousand fucking questions, I eighty-sixed that shit.

Eventually, Edward had to leave because after having taken an important phone call, he claimed he had to go. I knew what that meant. If he was mixed up in the kind of thing I was two years back, he was called out to do a job for his—air quotes—employer, which brought me to my current state of mind.

Frazzled.

I hadn't heard a word from him since , and to be honest, I was worried out of my fucking mind and pissed off beyond belief at him. I could understand that he got wrapped up in whatever the hell they had him doing, but I expected for him to at least text me. I mean, I thought he and I had bonded and that we'd actually become quite close over those couple of days, but his lack of content was starting to make me think otherwise. And I was worried because Lord only knows what the fuck else could have possibly happened to him.

My thoughts were immediately interrupted by the soft knocking at my front door. Knowing it was Esme, I quickly grabbed up my purse and keys before opening the door.

"Bella!" she sang sweetly with a genuine smile on her face. "Are you ready to go?"

"Sure." I smiled back. Esme looked over my shoulder in what seemed to be curiosity.

"Is that a kitchen table?" she questioned, taking a step inside.

"Yep."

"Where on earth did you get that? It's beautiful! I love the espresso stain; it'll go perfectly with what I had in mind for your home."

"Actually, Edward went with me to Wal-Mart last week, and then set it up for me. We also picked up a TV and TV stand."

Her eyes cut to me in surprise. "Really? Well that was really nice of him. You two did a great job of picking the pieces out."

"Thanks," I murmured as she stepped back outside. I had to admit, I was a little thrown off that she hadn't said anything against him and that she, instead, praised him.

Maybe there was a shred of hope in Esme after all.

*~C&B~*

Hours later, after having shopped every furniture store that Seattle and Port Angeles had to offer, I'd managed to purchase an entire bedroom ensemble, comforter set, couch, coffee and end tables, plus various other decorations. All that remained to be bought were area rugs and wall art. I thought we'd done amazing with what time we'd had , and Esme was pure genius with fucking awesome taste. I couldn't wait to see everything in my house.

At the moment, she and I were waiting for our table at a little restaurant in Port Angeles called Bella Italia. How Esme knew I had a weakness for Italian food was beyond me. Okay, maybe it was just a lucky guess, but a damn good one.

While we waited, I pulled my phone from my purse for what seemed to be the umpteenth time that day, just checking to see if Edward had happened to finally send a text, but no such luck. However, there was one from Alice, asking if it would be all right for her to stop by tonight so that she and I could talk. I figured that I needed to get that shit over with and patch things up with her. I'd be lying if I said that it wasn't still bothering the ever loving piss out of me that she and I had had a falling out, regardless of what the circumstance for said argument were. I texted her back, letting her know to be there around seven, and to go alone.

"Bella?" Esme asked softly from beside me as I glanced over at her. "How is he?"

I didn't want to give her an easy way out. I wanted her to say his name without me just assuming, so I arched a brow in question.

"Edward. How is he, really?"

"He's good, Esme. Though, if you really wanted to know, I don't see why you won't call him and ask him yourself. Or at least stop by and visit with him for a while."

"Sweetheart, it's not that I don't want to see my son, or that I don't care. I realize how and why you assume that, but I promise you, that's not it. I miss him with every fiber of my being, but to see the toll the drugs are taking on him breaks my heart. He looks nothing like the handsome boy I raised."

"Then why not check on him, keep in touch, let him know you still care? Why not offer or try to talk him into accepting help? Right now, all you're doing is giving him more reason to want to indulge in the drugs. I don't mean any disrespect, but you all treat him as if he carries some highly contagious, terminal disease and that's doing nothing for him. He needs the love of his family and from what I've seen, he's receiving everything but."

I watched as she hung her head shamefully, shaking it slowly back and forth.

"I've tried, Bella. When I told you that you and Carlisle would butt heads, I meant it. I butt heads with him on a daily basis. I'm not as naïve as he believes me to be. I know that there is something he's holding inside that he won't tell me about, and I know that it revolves around Edward. I've tried sending him birthday cards or gifts during Christmas, but once Carlisle discovered them, he put a stop to it and began monitoring all of my purchases. He's literally forbade me from having a relationship with my son. Do I resent him for that? Of course I do, but when I married him, I made a vow to stick by him in sickness and in health, for better and for worse. To turn my back on him now, especially when Alice and Emmett believe as he does, would be like giving up my entire family. I can't do that. They look to me as their rock, the foundation of our small family, and I refuse to let them down."

"Don't you see, Esme? You're failing Edward. He's part of your family. He's your son, and right now, he needs you more than Carlisle, Alice, and Emmett put together. You've shunned him simply because you're too afraid to go against them. Why are you letting Carlisle control you like this? I love him like a second father, just as I love you like my own mother, but I won't let him control me. I'm not going to let him get in the way of me being there for Edward. Not when I seem to be the only one who gives a damn. Everyone keeps saying that he's changed. That he's dangerous. A loser. A low-life. While I'll admit that he does have a drug problem, he's still Edward. I can still see the little boy I grew up with inside of him, and if I turn my back on him now, it's the same as turning my back on my best friend so many years ago. I won't do it. He's caring, he's funny, and dammit, he loves and misses you all so much that it literally makes me sick. My heart breaks for him because I know he's hurting. And I know that if he knew I was talking with you about all of this, he'd have a coronary, but I can't go without saying something."

"What do you want from me, Bella?" Esme huffed in frustration, as the hostess approached us, letting us know that our table was ready.

Once we sat down and had placed the order for our drinks, I folded my arms on the table and looked at Esme earnestly.

"Listen, I'm not asking you to completely change overnight or to forget about the damage he's doing to his body. All I'm asking is that you at least try to extend a hand to him, let him know that he still has a mother who cares for him. That's all, because right now, I'm all he fucking has, and I'm sorry, but it just isn't right. One of these days, he may decide to get clean and if that day comes, all of you are going to regret how you've treated him. The mere fact that any of you could have accused him of murder, and still believe him guilty of it even after having been found innocent, is unforgivable in my eyes. That is the deepest form of betrayal I can think of, and although I don't know what all went on, I can guarantee that something else happened within this family before any of that ever came about."

"You're right, but just between you and I, and you can even pass it on to Edward, I never believed him to be guilty of murdering that wretched girl. I know my son, and I know he doesn't have it in him to do that to someone he loves. And on the same note, I guarantee you that whatever Carlisle has kept hidden from me explains all that happened around that period of time. Whether Alice or Emmett know, I have no idea, but I do know that Alice is probably the most resentful of Edward, next to Carlisle. Emmett was like me for a time. He and Jasper both. They wanted to try and help Edward in any way they could, but the weight and pressure of Carlisle and Alice's ruthless accusations took its toll, and they just couldn't keep up the fight anymore. We were getting nowhere with Edward and he was just going further and further downhill. Emmett and Rose were beginning to hurt financially from the countless times Emmett had loaned him money and bailed him out, and Alice and Jasper were nearing divorce when Jasper finally caved and went along with what Alice believed. Now, they all whole-heartedly think the absolute worst of Edward, and no matter how I tried, I couldn't make them see reason. They believe I cry and went on depression and anxiety medication because of what Edward had done, but that wasn't it at all. That all came from the stress and heartache it put on me by estranging myself from my son."

Tears freely rolled down her cheeks now, and I actually felt bad for having put this sweet woman through that, but when I thought about the look of pain etched in Edward's eyes, all guilt went out the fucking window.

"Esme, if I were to set up a time at my house where I cooked dinner, do you think you'd want to come over and maybe reconnect with Edward? At least for one night? I really think it would mean the world to him. No one would know but us."

"Bella, I would honestly love that, but I know Carlisle. He'd drive by your place, see mine and Edward's cars, and put two and two together. He doesn't trust me."

"That can be easily avoided. All we need to do is have Edward stay with me that night. I'd go pick him up so that on the outside of my house, if someone were to drive by, it would just look like you were here helping me get things in order."

"Let me just think about it okay, honey? I do want you to know how grateful I truly am that he at least has you in his corner. It's about time that he actually finds someone decent to associate himself with."

Judging from her tone of voice, it seemed that Esme was insinuating something along the lines of Edward and I actually being together. There was only one thing worse than her assumption; I found myself _liking _the idea of it.

"Oh, no!" I laughed. "Esme, we're not…we haven't…I'm just a friend," I told her with a nervous smile, stumbling over my words.

Esme smiled and raised her brow at me. "Well honey, be that as it may, that doesn't mean anything because if you two aren't together yet, you will be soon."

She winked.

Edward's mother, Esme, just fucking _winked_ at me.

_After _suggesting that I would be—air quotes—getting together with her son soon.

What the hell kind of mind-fuckery was this? Why the fuck would Esme give a shit if Edward and I happened to get together? I mean, sure, she'd just spilled about how she wanted to reconnect with him, but playing matchmaker was way too fucking fast and honestly, she had no right. And another thing, if the ass ever decided to fucking contact me, there was no way in hell that I was telling him about the mistake she'd just made. He'd not only have a field day with it at my expense, but I just knew it would make him start questioning whether it was a good idea to be hanging around me so much, being in the business he was in and all.

"So, how's Renee?"

My train of rampant thoughts stopped cold. Renee. Otherwise known as my deadbeat mother.

"Your guess is as good as mine."

"Oh, Bella, I'm sorry. I didn't realize. I thought things were okay between you two," Esme said softly, reaching across the table and taking hold of my hand tightly.

"When she left Dad, she left me as well. I haven't seen her since the day she abandoned us, and I don't care to. Charlie and I did just fine without her," I mumbled, perusing over my menu and avoiding eye contact with her. This was one of those things that I hadn't anticipated being asked about or having to explain. Hell, I hadn't even told Edward but then again, he'd been through so much shit himself that he probably just knew without my saying anything.

"I'm sure you did, Bella, but no child, no woman should have to grow up without their mother in their lives. I understand that this is difficult for you, and that in some cases, the absence of a mother can't be helped, but to know that Renee had a choice and opted out royally pisses me off."

"Forgive me for what I'm about to say, Esme, but…that's awfully hypocritical to be coming from you."

"Okay, I know I haven't been the best mother to, Edward. Hell, I've hardly been one at all the past few years, but I intend to try and rectify that as much as I can."

"Fine. Whatever happened to our house after we moved? Is it still standing?" I asked with a small smile, hoping to alleviate a bit of the tension that now surrounded us.

"I kind of figured you might ask about the house at some point," Esme told me with a knowing smile. "Someone bought it shortly after you and Charlie moved. However, about four years ago, that family moved off to New York or something like that. The house was only on the market for two days before it was sold. The odd part of all that was, no one ever moved in."

"So you don't know who bought the house?"

"I do, and I only found out because I've got girl friends in real estate."

"Well who was it?" I asked with a laugh, quickly growing frustrated with the way she was beating around the fucking bush.

"I think that's something you might want to ask Edward."

I could feel my eyes narrow at her as I took in what she'd said. At that precise time, the waitress came around with our food. Once she left, I picked up my fork and scoffed. "If you're trying to tell me that Edward actually bought my old house, the jokes over, Esme."

"Well, I can't say for sure whether he still owns it or if he put it back on the market. My guess would be that he still owns it because it's looking rather neglected. Or at least it was the last time I drove past."

Without even realizing it, I dropped my fork onto my plate with a clang. "Why the hell would he do something like that?"

"Like I said, ask him, Bella. I never questioned him, and to be perfectly honest, he may not even remember his reasons anymore considering that this was something he did so long ago and when he wasn't on the damn drugs."

"Esme, he's still Edward, and his brain is still functioning. Jesus, just because he's on drugs doesn't make him a fucking invalid."

~*C&B*~

Needless to say, it wasn't long before I found myself holed up back inside my house. The conversation between Esme and I had finished on a somewhat good note as we'd changed the subject to Charlie and the reasons as to why he refused to date. More likes, reasons that—after adding them all up—amounted to him just being fucking lazy as all hell.

What was even fucking weirder was that while driving back home, it turned out that Edward was still alive after all. How did I come to that conclusion? The little shit finally fucking texted. What did he say?

Oh, just that he was hungry and hoped it might be okay for him to come by for dinner.

Seriously? I mean come on! I know that I had pretty much told him that it was perfectly fine for him to come over for dinner every night, but what the fuck? He hadn't even so much as said hi, much less texted it, for going on a week now. I'd called and texted, but he'd remained silent. And it wasn't that I was being possessive or clingy; fuck, I wasn't even his damn girlfriend. I was just worried about him, and considering that he had no one, that only worried me more.

Was I going to be friendly when I did see him next? Of course, but I would be a bitch from hell first.

Surely, he was smart enough to realize that my short and to the point reply was out of character. I wanted him to know that I was pissed before I saw him.

**Wow. Just fucking wow. I'm busy right now. Alice is stopping by later. I'll give you a call when she leaves…that is, if you'll actually answer your fucking phone. – BS**

Minutes after pocketing my phone, it had dinged again and this time caught Esme's attention.

"Something wrong, Bella?"

Just for the sake of not having to talk about Edward with her more, I lied and said it was Charlie asking where I'd put the toilet bowl cleaner. In all honesty, it wasn't really that big of a lie since he _had _called me about that exact thing this morning. I desperately needed to set some time aside and call the old man because I needed his advice and an ear. The animosity and tension with the Cullens, me, and Edward was really starting to take its toll. Don't get me wrong; I didn't regret anything I'd done, and I wasn't giving up on Edward. I just needed to vent a little and my Dad was the only person I knew would listen.

I shook myself from my thoughts and turned my attention back to my phone to see what the fucker, a.k.a Edward, had sent back.

**Fuck. I deserved that. I promise I'll answer my phone. And Doll, I'm sorry. –EC**

**Save it, Cullen. I'll talk to you later. –BS**

After sending the text, I turned my phone to off and slid it into my purse. I needed time to mull over exactly what I was going to say to Alice, and now—thanks to Edward—I was going to have to add thinking about how to handle his absence when I talked to him later tonight. I didn't want to come down on him so harshly that he felt cornered and pulled away from me completely, but I needed to be firm enough to make him aware of the fact that I actually gave a fuck about what happened to him and that he couldn't just up and disappear on me like that and assume it was okay.

"Esme, I just want you to know that it means the world to me that you came and helped. I never would have been able to get all this done and made all these choices without you. Thank you."

What? I could be fucking civil and appreciative when I wanted to be.

"You're welcome, honey. I know things have been rather,well…tense, since you moved here, but I understand why you're angry and feel the way that you do, though I can't say I'm as clear on _why _you understand Edward so well. I promise you that I'm not going to let it interfere in me getting to know my daughter again, and yes, that's how I see you, Bella, despite everything. That's how I've always seen you. It wasn't just your heart that broke when you and Charlie left us so many years ago."

Okay, remember when I said that I didn't cry easily? Apparently, my defenses were useless against Esme. What she'd said hit home, and it hit hard. Whether I wanted to admit it or not, not having a mother around growing up fucking sucked, but I'd always tried to put up a tough front, as though it didn't really affect me. That Charlie was enough, but truth was, just like Esme had said earlier, every girl needed her mother.

Things had just gotten a whole hell of a lot more complicated, because while protecting and being there for Edward was my top priority, I now couldn't bring myself to hurt Esme. I'm sure it certifies me as fucking insane, but I actually needed her. So how the fuck was I supposed to deal with that and still remain firm on my views regarding Edward?

**A/N: So, let me have it. More confusion for Bella, a bit of a rift with Edward, and Alice didn't speak her peace this chapter like I had promised. ****Bella and Esme's talk kinda went longer than I anticipated, but next chapter will pick up with Alice.**

**Question: Is there anything that has been skipped over or briefly summarized in the fic that any of you would like to see elaborated or explained? I don't want this to come across as too rushed or for anyone to be left confused about anything LOL. **

**Leave some love ;D**

**PS. Really quick, here's a few fics that currently OWN me:**

**Sperm Donor Wanted by OzellaMarie**

**The Biology Project by solostintwilight**

**Metal Pointe by Bnjwl & TheOnlyKyla**

**About Last Night by EternallyCullen**


	15. Chapter 14

**So it's been a while since my last update and I apologize for that. RL has dealt me a pretty crappy hand the past few months and I'm still working on getting it evened out. No worries, if it takes a few weeks between updates, just know I AM working on them and will have them out as soon as I can!**

**BPOV**

It wasn't long after I returned home that there was a knock on my door. I'd only managed to guzzle down a few shots of Jack before Alice arrived. To be honest, I really wasn't looking forward to having this conversation with her, but I needed to know the reason behind the massive fucking stick up her ass and why she hated Edward so damn much. I just prayed that we would be able to talk calmly about everything without it coming to blows. The last thing I wanted to happen was for me to lose my cool and have my fist _accidentally _meet her face, but there was no guarantee; from what I'd seen, Alice became a bitch when Edward was involved. So I sucked up the stupid fucking anxiety I felt, rose from my seat on the couch, and grudgingly went to the door.

With a heavy sigh, I opened the door to find her standing with what looked to be a frame in her hands and a very sullen look on her face, which was something I was not expecting. If she was so set in her ways regarding Edward, why did she look like she'd just lost her fucking puppy? She actually seemed afraid to come in. I mean, it wasn't like I was going to bite her or some shit; not hard, anyway.

I stepped aside, allowing her in the house and gestured to the couch for her to sit down.

"Place looks great, Bella. I told you my Mom was the best," she spoke softly.

"Yeah, she was awesome. So, uh, what's that?" I questioned, gesturing to the thing in her hands.

Her forehead crinkled in confusion and then realization dawned in her features. "Oh, this? Um…Emmett told me about how excited you seemed to be when he showed you the pictures of us together as kids. I happened to be the only one of us, besides Mom, that had a copy of this particular one. Given the way things are now, I'm sure you can see why I no longer have a need for it."

With that said, she handed the frame over to me, and as I flipped it over in my hands, my heart hit my throat at the same time anger began to course through my veins at her callous words. The picture was of just Edward and me. I wasn't sure of when it had been taken, or by whom, but we were at Esme's sitting together on their old wooden swing out in the back yard, laughing about something. I decided that I would look at the picture further at a later time as I laid it on the couch cushion beside me.

"How is it that you can be so sweet, and yet so damn callous at the same fucking time, Al?"

She lowered her eyes to her lap and shook her head. "Bella, I didn't come here to fight. You've pretty much already gathered that I despise certain people, and I came here in hopes of explaining so that you might understand me better. But I will not apologize for my own opinion."

"Well, thank you for the picture, but I think you should get on with your so-called explanation because while I was looking forward to talking to you tonight, you've already started to wear out your welcome."

"I still stand by the fact that you're a bitch, you know that?" she told me with a scorching glare.

"Does it really look like I give a damn?"

"Actually, it doesn't. Do you care about anything at all, Bella?"

"Obviously I do, Alice, or I wouldn't be fighting so hard for you all to make amends."

"Bella, when are you going to just accept the fact that it's never going to happen? Making amends with him isn't possible, and you're deluding yourself if you think it ever will be."

"Again, get on with the explanation or get out."

"Just answer me something before I start, okay?" I rolled my eyes and nodded. "What happened between us? You and I were so close these past few months, and now, it's almost as if I don't know you at all."

Her eyes became teary, and I'll admit, I felt horrible, but at the same time, I knew I was justified in my anger towards her.

"Alice, we were close, and you really were like my best friend. You'll always be my sister, no matter what, but you should have known this would happen. After all the times I asked about Edward, one would think that you would have thought to mention how fucked up things were, but no. You remained silent and let me be thrown into this shit. And the saddest part is I've spent time with him. I've talked to him, Alice. Despite everything, he's still the same Edward that I remember. You may not be able to see him all the time, but that little boy is still in there. He's been nothing but helpful and sweet since I've been here. And no matter what he does, you all treat him as trash. I'm not the kind of person that will stand by that."

"That's the reason I want to explain, Bella. You may think that you see my brother in there somewhere, but I promise you, he's not. He's a fucking monster. I'll just start by saying he used to be the one I looked up to. You remember how close we used to be, Bella. I loved my brother with everything in me. Edward was the one that introduced me to Jasper, and I'll always be thankful for that. When he and Dad started up their practice, we, the family, couldn't have been happier. It was about three months before it officially opened that I introduced him to my best friend, Kate. She and I had been sorority sisters back in college, and I just knew that they were perfect for each other. It wasn't long before they became engaged. About six months later, I noticed—as did everyone else—that things between Edward and Kate had changed and weren't going well. She would come to meet Rose and me for lunch a lot. Her appearance started becoming haggard, and she always seemed under the influence of something. You've got to understand; Kate was a beautiful woman and always looked amazing…never a hair out of place or anything, so of course we were alarmed. One night, she showed up at my house for a girls' night and she had bruises up and down her arms, one around her neck, and multiple down her back."

"Let me guess; She said Edward did it."

"She didn't have to," Alice screeched. "Bella, he was depressed, brooding all the time, and his fuse was extremely short. He was having outbursts with me, Kate, the family...something wasn't right, and Kate coming to my door like that just confirmed that he had changed. And that's just the beginning."

"Well so far, Alice, it sounds like you had your mind made up and your side chosen the moment Kate seemed off. Edward never stood a fucking chance," I scoffed as her eyes widened.

"Just like you do now? I haven't even finished explaining and you've already got your mind made up. In fact, I think you chose the second you realized he wasn't wanted in our family anymore. So why can't you just shut the fuck up with your judgmental bullshit long enough to let someone else speak?" she shouted at me. She was definitely pissed off, not that I cared.

"Tell me something." I started, picking at my nails in boredom. "What's thicker? Blood or water?"

"Look, that same night, after hours of coaxing, Kate finally admitted to me that she'd been taking Oxycontin for pain left over from a car accident that happened years ago. She said that while she no longer needed the medication, she was now hooked on it and couldn't give it up. I went to Dad and when Dad found out, he was livid. He went after Edward and found him on the phone in his office in a screaming match with Kate. When he got off of the phone, Dad tried to talk to him but Edward blew up and they began arguing. Dad went back later to try and settle things, apologize, but when he walked in, Edward was hunched over his desk doing a line. It was two days later that Kate was found dead."

I took a minute to absorb the bullshit that she'd spouted and just as I suspected, most of what she'd told me had been stuff relayed to her by Carlisle. The more I learned, the more it seemed that Carlisle was behind the hatred for Edward that had formed in their small family.

"Alice, I understand what it might have seemed like, but to me and from any outsider's point of view, it sure does seem like you had chosen sides before her death ever came. You nor Emmett ever mentioned having asked for Edward's side of the story. You all just took it at face value and Carlisle's word, then pinned it all on him. Given what he went through in regards to all of that, I don't blame him for turning to drugs, for turning to anything that could take the pain of betrayal from his own flesh and blood away. So far, I've heard nothing to change my mind."

"I get how you would see it that way, and no, I never did ask for his side but there was no need to. The evidence was all there."

"If it was all there, why did the police find him not guilty?"

"Hell if I know. I wouldn't put it past him to have paid them off," she replied with a nasty scoff.

"Oh please. Edward wouldn't do that…even now. That's not the kind of person he is. I've only been here a little over a week and even I can see that."

"If he was completely innocent, why didn't he fight harder? Why didn't he try to plead his case to us, prove his innocence?" she shouted, raising her voice to me.

"Dammit, why would he? You and everyone else made it painfully clear that you believed him to be guilty. Why would he fight against that? The pain and anger was too fresh in his heart. His fucking fiancée had been found dead! What the hell did you all expect from him? Why the fuck weren't you all comforting him and showing him support instead of making his life a living hell?"

At that moment, Alice bolted upright from her seat and stared me down in rage. "Just fucking forget it, Bella. It's obvious which side you've chosen and that nothing any of us say will get through to you. Sooner or later you're going to see exactly what kind of a person he is, and you're going to regret ever having had this conversation. You've treated us like shit since you arrived and I'm not going to take it any more."

"Yeah and that's only been a bit more than a week. How long have you treated Edward the same fucking way? Doesn't feel good, does it?"

"Oh and by the way, I didn't choose my job over him. I chose my family."

That caused me to jump to my feet. "Bullshit," I snarled. "You did choose your fucking job, your reputation. You knew that Edward being under investigation for the murder of Kate would raise questions as everyone knew he was your brother. It's the same damn reason Carlisle kicked him out of the practice and had his license ripped from him. Instead of sticking together through hell or high water like the family I used to know, you all acted selfishly and put your job and fucking friends above the welfare of him. It both disgusts me and breaks my heart, and you're right. I think this conversation was the final nail in the coffin. I _do _choose his side. I'm standing by him because I'll be damned if I'm going to align myself with people that care nothing about their own flesh and blood. Now…_Get. The. Fuck. Out._"

I didn't have to tell the bitch twice. She hurriedly grabbed her things and flew out my door. There were tears streaking down her cheeks but at this point, I didn't give a flying fuck. I was well and pissed off and I knew that before I called Edward about coming over, I needed to calm the hell down. Right now, I was liable to maul his fucking eyes out just to release some of my aggression.

I ran into the kitchen and grabbed my phone from my purse before going outside to sit on the porch swing.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Dad."

"Hells Bells, it's about time you called!"

"Sorry, I've been really busy. How are things at home?"

"What's going on, Bells? You don't sound too good. Something up?"

"A bunch a shit. Did you know anything about the hell that is the Cullen family now?"

I heard him release a heavy sigh from his end, which was all the answer I needed.

"So you did? And you let me come here without giving me a damn heads up?" I nearly shouted.

"Now wait, hold on a second before you go raising your voice to me, Bella. All I knew was what Carlisle told me and that Edward was estranged from the family."

"Did you know why?"

"No, I asked but he wouldn't tell me any more than that."

"Well needless to say, my plan to get away from the shit back home and focus on myself has completely collapsed. Dad, it's so bad that half the time I have to hold myself back from ripping Alice and Carlisle's eyes out."

"Why are you fighting with Carlisle and Alice if it's Edward that has caused the rift? You're separating yourself from the rest of your family, Bells?"

"Dad, listen to me, I understand Edward, and he understands me. He's an addict, Dad, and the whole family turned their backs on him. They refuse to be anywhere near him and, I won't go into detail, but it completely breaks my heart. I'm all he has. Hell, since I've been here, they've done nothing but try to turn me against him. Did you know that the day I moved in, Alice threatened to call the police if Edward showed up to help? Granted he had no idea it was me they were helping move in, but he wanted to be a part of it. They treat him like he has some severely contagious, fatal disease."

"Jesus, have you told them about you yet?"

"No. The only one that knows is Edward. I'm trying to help him and be there for him as he's been without someone for so long. You should have seen the look on his face when I told him about how you were there for me through everything."

"Honey, I trust that you know what you're doing, but if you start to feel any urges, call me or get as far away as possible, okay? And as soon as I can take some time off, I'd like to pay you a visit. Do me a favor too; tell Edward I said hey."

I promised him I would and we continued to stay on the phone for a while longer as he talked to me more about what I was dealing with and then filled me in on the things going on at home. Deep into our conversation, I caught sight of a silver Volvo parked a little ways down the road and a shock of bronze, crazy hair. I knew immediately who it was, and I couldn't believe he parked so far down…even more so, I was confused as to _why _he didn't park in front of the house. It was almost as if he were trying not to be seen, but I knew Edward well enough already to know that if he wanted to hide, he could.

I quickly ended the call with my dad after having seen Edward, dialed his number and put the phone back to my ear.

"Yeah?"

"You do realize you parked down four houses too far, right?"

"You were on the phone, and I didn't want to just barge in."

"And you didn't think that pacing back and forth down the road would distract me? Come the fuck on, Edward. Alice left a while ago and obviously I'm off the fucking phone now. Either man up and come over, or go the fuck home."

I didn't wait for a response before hanging up. I wasn't sure what to expect from him when he got here, but I knew that the way I'd just spoken to him probably pissed him off. Now, I'd seen an angry Edward, but I had been the one to calm him down. There was no doubt in my mind that I could handle it and give just as good as I got.

A few minutes passed before the knock sounded at my door. As soon as I opened it, Edward was looking everywhere but at me.

"Hello," I called out. "Eddie, I'm right here. What the fuck?"

His eyes then darted over to me in a glare. "I fucked up, okay? I get that, and while I hoped to talk to you, I've learned enough about you to know that there's a high chance you'll jump my ass the minute I step through your door."

"Let me see if I understand this correctly; you're owning up to having fucked up, but are afraid of a small woman such as myself and actually believe that I could kick your ass.?"

"Doll, I _know _you could. Fuck," he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Can I just come in? Please?"

A took a moment to look him over and scoffed, knowing it would irritate the fuck out of him. "Well, whaddya know, he _does _have manners." I could swear that I heard him growl, but I continued on. "Sure, come in."

I moved aside as he eyeballed me and stepped over the threshold. I shut the door behind him and when I turned around, something about the way he was moving towards the couch seemed off. Not the action itself, but the way he physically moved.

"What's wrong with you?" I questioned, leaving no room for argument.

"Other than having you ready to rip me to shreds, I don't know what you're talking about," he replied with a slight wince as he took a seat on the far end of the couch.

"Right," I said disbelievingly as I rolled my eyes. "Do you really think you're so smooth that I didn't see you just wince? What. The. Fuck. Happened?"

"Don't you mean why didn't I call or text you back this past week?" he asked back, arching a brow and glancing at me with a smirk.

"Oh believe me, we'll get to that shit, but right now, I want to know why you're limping and barely moving," I told him, crossing my arms over my chest and giving him a stern look.

"Twisted my ankle on the stairs and got kind of banged up on the way down."

"Yeah, see if you're going to act like that then you can just go home. I've dealt with enough bullshit today, and the last fucking thing I need is for you to lie to me, especially after the past week." I uncrossed my arms and shook my head as I turned my back to him and went into the kitchen.

"So, what? You're going to guilt trip me now? Make me feel like a bigger piece of shit than I already am? That's just fucking great!" Edward shouted to me.

Big fucking mistake.

"Excuse me?" I screamed back at him. "I'm not guilt tripping you! You're sitting there throwing a fucking pity party! If you would quit degrading yourself long enough to listen, you'd see that all I fucking care about is whether or not you're okay and why the fuck you didn't call me! I just completely ended my friendship with your sister today because I said the damn words everyone's been waiting to hear. If I cared so little as to fucking guilt trip you, explain to me why I would have cut the cord between me and your family."

Edward stood and limped over to where I stood in the kitchen. His hand came up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "What the hell are you talking about now, Doll?"

"I chose your side, dammit! Don't you get that already? I'm on your side, so why the fuck is it so hard to tell me what's wrong with you? Why the hell couldn't you take a minute out of your week to at least text and say 'hey, I'm okay'?"

"Come on, Bella! Do I really have to spell it out for you? You were caught up in the same shit once upon a time, remember? You know what it's like, so why are you asking me to fucking go against the rules and let you in? And as for not returning your calls or texts, I'm fucking sorry, okay? You're just going to have to forgive me for that. I'm not used to someone giving a damn about what happens to me. Most of the time, my phone was either turned off or I was busy with people who didn't need to know my business. That's why I'm here now. I'm trying to do the decent thing for once and say I'm sorry because you're all I fucking have now. Are you going to tell me I'm wrong? Because if you are, just say the word and I'll leave."

By the time Edward finished ranting, I felt like a bitch and justified at the same time. How was it that he managed to keep me in a confused state of mind whenever he was around?

His chest was heaving as he looked at me for a moment longer before moving his gaze to his feet.

Regardless of how angry it had made me, I couldn't let something like this be the reason Edward and I no longer talked. Because like it or not, I was already in deeper than I ever anticipated. And I wasn't just talking in general. My feelings for him had already increased past the point of scaring me. And although my mind told me that I needed to cut everything off right now, my heart screamed at me not to. To take a leap of faith and let things happen. Besides, I couldn't turn my back on him, even if I wanted to. I'd made a promise and to this day, I'd never broken one. I wasn't about to start now.

I slowly closed the distance between us and gently brushed my hand against his cheek, causing his head to lift and his eyes to meet my own in question. I could see the storm brewing behind his eyes and knew that he was tearing himself apart in his head.

"You aren't wrong, Eddie. Just next time, do you think you could at least send me a text, let me know you're okay? Because I know what it's like, the things that went through my head when I didn't hear from you had me terrified. I didn't know whether you were alive or dead…I just…" Before I could even finish speaking, Edward wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in for a hug.

After a few minutes of silence, he spoke up. "You know, I'd promise to text you next time, but you still haven't paid up for the last deal I made with you."

I pulled away to look up at him and furrowed my brow in confusion. "What?"

His lips turned up at the corners as he smiled, but it didn't last long before he frowned and arched his brow.

"I want my fucking cookies."

**A/N: So, how do you think it went? Any sympathy for Alice? Did Bella let Edward off too easy? Let me know! Next update is in the works already and things will start picking up with the plot of the story. Can't wait for you all to read it!**

**T**


	16. Chapter 15

**I think I've kept you all waiting long enough so I won't bore you with my ramblings…here you go! **

**EPOV**

My line of work, while it used to consume every second of my pathetic life, sure had a way of ruining a good time. It had been way too fucking long since I'd actually had fun and relaxed with anyone, and of course, right when I was finally doing so with Bella, James just had to call. I was _this_close to telling him to go to fucking hell, but that sadly wasn't an option for me. I glanced at Bella as she sat on the couch shoving popcorn into her mouth while watching TV. She gave me a questioning look over her shoulder as I waved her off and stepped out onto the porch.

"What the fuck do you want?"

"We've got a job, fucker. Aro wants you down at the warehouse to go over details," James' gravelly voice rasped.

"Uh, no? He said I had the next couple days off."

"It's been a couple of days, bitch, and even if it hadn't, plans fucking change."

"Fine, give me thirty," I growled, pressing the 'End' button with force and clenching my jaw. I was still fucking reeling over the last damn job Aro had sent me out on. I knew that I would more than likely be MIA for the next week or more, and there was absolutely nothing I could tell Bella that would make any fucking sense as to why I would be gone for so long.

Well…I could tell her the truth, but that would result in Aro ordering a hit on the family. It was a long shot that he'd ever fucking find out that I'd leaked information, but I'd worked for his ass long enough to know that you just didn't take chances. He was ruthless and regardless of how much they'd hurt me, they were still my family, and I'd die before I let any harm come to them.

I hung my head and walked back into the house. The sound of the screen door shutting behind me startled Bella, and she quickly whipped around in her seat. Her brown eyes looked me over in calculation for a moment before she sighed.

"Everything okay?"

"Sorry to just spring this on you, but I have to go, Doll. Something came up."

"Anything I can do? Need a ride or something?"

I smirked at her eagerness to help. She was fucking adorable.

_What is it about Bella Swan that is making use these pussy ass words I've never fucking used before?_

"Um, my car is outside on the curb, and last time I checked, it was still running," I replied smugly with a wink. "I'll call you, okay?"

Then a weird look crossed her face, and she frowned. I knew in the pit of my stomach that she wasn't fucking stupid; she knew why I had to go.

"Eddie?" she called out softly as I started to slip through the front door, "Be careful."

I paused for a minute, taken aback by her words. "Always am," I whispered before walking out and making a beeline for my fucking car. One thing was for sure, I needed a damn fix and soon.

**~*C&B*~**

With the sweet poison running through my veins, my anxiety over the awkwardness in leaving Bella's had eased. I rolled into the make-shift dirt parking lot of our dilapidated warehouse, seeing that the entire crew was here, which only meant one thing. The job we were about to embark on was a fucking big one, especially considering that the last time I'd seen Aro, he'd announced that we would no longer be doing jobs as a team or duo; everything was to be solo.

I sighed heavily and reached for my pack of Marlboros in the cup holder, lighting one instantly and taking a long, deep drag. I sat there for probably five minutes or more before stepping out of the car and heading towards the doors.

I could literally hear the commotion going on inside before I was even halfway in.

"Are you fucking insane, Aro? There's no way we're going to get past that level of security without being caught!" I heard James roar.

"Are you questioning my methods, Harrison?" Aro asked. I knew that tone, and nothing good would come from it.

"Look at what happened on the last job! Cullen and I were damn near caught! We fucked up, and going into an even bigger job with twice as many guys is only going to end badly!"

"I see you all decided to start without me," I announced as I approached the table. "Fill me in. What the fuck is up now?"

"Cullen, nice of you to finally grace us with your presence," James spat.

"Fuck you, Harrison. By the way, how's your whore doing? Oh, what was her name?" I taunted, earning a glare from him, not that I fucking cared. "Tanya, isn't it?"

"Knock it off," Aro ordered threateningly. "I received word that someone is forming a group downtown and apparently, they're gunning for us. They've already taken control of the eastside of Seattle and nearly all of Port Angeles."

"Who the hell is it?" I questioned, knowing the seriousness of the issue. If someone was gunning for Aro's territory, including me and the bunch of dumbfucks I worked with, shit was about to get real. And that meant that this job was most likely going to be one of the biggest ones yet.

"That's what we're going to figure out. For the next week, we're going to watch them and once we figure out where they're conducting business and how they operate, we're taking it all. I want to pull the fucking rug out from underneath them."

"Aro, how the fuck are we going to do that when we don't even know who it is we're looking for?"

"Newton, Packer, and Crowley are going to cover Seattle to get a lock on their operation there, but you and Harrison are going in for the big hit. From what I've gathered so far, they're operating out of La Push, down on the Quileute Reservation."

"Believe me, I understand the severity of this shit, but we're going in blind. That doesn't sit well with me and to be honest, I'm not sure working alongside this dipshit is the best move," I answered, gesturing over to James.

"Cullen, don't go fucking pussy on me. You know as well as I do that Harrison is the only other one of you, beside yourself, qualified and trusted enough to take this on."

"Bullshit! I do all the fucking work and he fucks it all up. He's a ticking time bomb, and I'm not putting my ass on line to cover his mistakes!" I roared.

Obviously, I shouldn't have had that last fix because my filter was fucking broken. In the blink of an eye, my head was slammed into the table, my arm twisted in an awkward angle behind my back, with Aro's body weight pinning me down. With his hand fisted tightly in my hair, he breathed into my ear.

"Want to rephrase that?"

"For fuck's sake, I didn't say I was out! I'm just saying I work better alone," I muttered through clenched teeth.

"You don't call the shots here, Cullen. See, I've got you by the fucking balls, and if you want those you care about to remain safe, you'll watch your fucking tongue."

He released me then with a rough shove of my head. As I straightened myself, I tried to swallow down the nearly unbearably hard-to-ignore urge to pull my gun out and put a bullet through his fucking skull. But regardless of how badly I wanted that, I would never be able to do it. That bastard had way too much shit on me that could ruin every decent aspect my life had left, and now with Bella being in the picture, there was no way in hell I could cross him; which also meant I was going to have to be incredibly careful about when and how I saw her, especially around James Harrison. If Aro and the guys caught wind of her, not only would they insist on her being introduced to our group, they would use her against me to their advantage. They'd make threats against her life and I already knew there was nothing I wouldn't do to keep any harm from coming to her.

I glanced over to see James making smug eyes at me. I couldn't fucking wait to be done with this meeting and get that bastard alone. He could talk a big game on the phone and in front of Aro, but when it came down to face to face confrontations, he chickened the fuck out.

The conversation continued on around me, but I'd basically zoned out. I knew why I needed to remain in Aro's good graces, not only for my addiction, but a handful of other reasons I'm not ready to get into yet…I just, at the moment, I wanted—no, needed—to detach myself.

Before long, as was standard protocol for jobs, each one of us turned our phones off and grabbed our assigned phones made available by Aro. His reason for having us use different phones while working was nothing more than paranoia. He was convinced that the police, or who the fuck ever, had ways of tapping into conversations on our personal phones, and due to that, he made sure that our 'work phones', as I called them, were untraceable. With each job we were sent out on, he provided us with a phone and at the closing of said job, all phones were disposed of. We'd then go on our merry fucking way, personal phones back in hand. The thing that sucked about this whole ordeal was that I knew it would only be so long before Bella realized something was amiss and tried to get a hold of me.

From that arose a whole new problem.

I didn't want to blow her off, and I didn't want her worrying, but there was abso-fucking-lutely nothing I could do about it. I would be forced to try and right things whenever I made it back home.

_If _I made it back.

Yeah, I became a little morbid before going on a job, but I wasn't fucking stupid; not coming back from this kind of shit was a real possibility.

The only upside to having no communication with her was that it would give me time to really think over everything that had happened with us in the last week. My mind was one big clusterfuck of feelings and questions when it came to Isabella Swan. She'd managed to completely jack my world up in a ridiculously short amount of time.

How had one woman accomplished—in a week—what no woman could do for the past two years? It was mind boggling to me. Sure, I had a history with her, and yes, she understood me in a way no one else did, but my concern was figuring out how she'd broken down my walls so easily. Why was I so willing to let her in to my life, without question? And the biggest crisis, what exactly was it that I felt for her, and what was I going—or willing—to do about it?

All of that shit would plague me through the duration of this job, on top of what I was expected to accomplish for Aro. This was the sort of assignment that I actually feared. As was said earlier, we were basically going in blind, and for what? A fucking tip that had been passed on to Aro from who the fuck knows. Instead of getting out and working alongside us, that rich prick would sit on his ass, waiting for the news to be delivered to him. I was—and had been for quite some time—sick and fucking tired of putting my life on the line just so he could sleep at night. Granted, my life wasn't worth shit and I could care less what happens to me, but I certainly didn't want to die like that.

Now, James and I were headed out to my car. I honestly didn't fucking like taking my car on jobs being that I loved that damn Volvo and had spent a pretty penny on it, but there was no way in hell I wanted to go out on a job in a car that James was in control of and driving. I may have been high as a fucking kite ninety percent of the time, but I was so used to operating under the influence that I still had my wits. James, on the other hand, was a fucking idiot. He couldn't so much as count to fucking ten when he was fucked up. And I really didn't get that shit either considering he'd been hooked on the pills—and much worse—for twice as long as me.

"Before we go down to La Push, stop by Banner's. If we're going to be out all week, I'll fucking need this."

I glared at him from the driver's seat. He was out of his fucking mind if he actually believed that I would take him to the damn whorehouse. It was bad enough having gone the handful of times with him in the past; there was no way in hell I was going to sit out in that disgusting lobby with the skanks parading around me, hoping and trying to get into my fucking pants. And they always, _always_, thought it was their God given right, comforting, or whatever, to fucking put their hands on me. To say I despised that place was a damn understatement.

Lighting up a cigarette, I pulled out of the parking lot. "Go fuck yourself, Harrison. Should've gone before the meeting."

"What's your fucking problem, man?"

"Nothing, I'm just not going."

"Dude, seriously, when this shit's done, we need to find you a damn woman and get you laid."

_He mentions finding you a woman and all you can think about is Bella? You're screwed._

"I don't need, nor do I want, a woman… so shut the fuck up. Besides, have you even stopped to think of how many fucking diseases that bitch up at Banner's possibly has?"

He face paled as he took a smoke and lit up as well, giving me the last word.

"So, since I came into the meeting a few minutes late, did Aro happen to mention where the hell we should go? I know he said La Push but that's a long fucking stretch of beach. It'll be like looking for a needle in a haystack."

"I wouldn't say that," James muttered, reaching inside the right breast pocket of his leather jacket and handing me an envelope. "Aro gave me these before we headed out, said it should help us get a head."

As I flipped through the stack of pictures James handed me, I came across one that just might make this whole job go by faster. "I know him. That's Ben Chaney. He works at a body shop in downtown Port Angeles."

"Let's go get the fucker."

"We aren't going to _get _him. At least not yet; we're going to watch his ass and wait for him to show us where we need to go."

"Well, stop at the next gas station, drive thru, or something…I need a fucking drink and I'm starving."

"What the fuck man?" I exclaimed. "No, I'm not gonna stop. See, this shit right here is what I was trying to tell Aro. You fuck things up because you think of everything _but _the fucking job," I roared as James glared back.

"Yeah, what the hell was that all about anyway, Cullen? Trying to fucking throw me under the bus. Backfired, didn't it, bitch?"

"If you think Aro's going to stop me from knocking you in your fucking mouth, you're wrong. It's just you and me in here, and all I gotta do to cover my ass is say a thug on the street mistook you for someone else."

"Chill the fuck out, man. Damn, why are you always so fucking serious?"

"This shit isn't fun and games, Harrison. The minute I start acting like these jobs are nothing and we're untouchable is the minute we start making mistakes and get caught. And if this guy is really trying to take down Aro, there's no fucking limit to what they'll do to make us talk."

"All right, all right, just stop this one time and I swear I'll shut the fuck up, but I'm serious, I need a damn drink. That last line gave me cotton mouth like a motherfucker."

"Great, so you're fucking high as a kite," I muttered.

I was beyond tired of this bullshit. All I fucking cared about was getting this done and getting back home. I'm sure you've realized by now that I only really stayed around for the fucking drugs, well that and the shit Aro had on me. I sure as hell wasn't doing this shit by choice.

As I pulled up to a gas station, James fled my car like the fucking crackhead he was. I immediately reached into the console compartment of my car and pulled out my usual five pills. It wouldn't make me high as a kite, but it would soothe the fucking anxiety coursing through my veins.

The temptation to call Bella was nearly unbearable. I found myself wanting to talk to her. Wanting to tell her where I was and ask for advice, but that sent off all kinds of red flags in my head. Red flags telling me that I was in over my head and was breaking the number one rule I'd had for the past two years; I was becoming attached.

Way too attached.

It wasn't like I didn't know it was happening, but now, it was really beginning to set in. And I was scared fucking shitless. For that reason alone, I stepped out of the car. I needed more smokes.

While it wasn't completely against the rules to call her, I didn't want James listening in to any conversation I might have with her. That, but it would only confuse my mind further.

But despite how badly this could end for me, there was no way in hell I would be able to cut her out of my life. That was no longer an option. I needed her like I needed air.

***~C&B~***

Here we were, middle of the week, and we'd only managed to identify a handful of men involved. We'd yet to see any evidence that they were dealing drugs, both here and in Seattle. I'd met with Newton this afternoon while James kept watch in the a secluded area near La Push beach.

Sure, someone was poking around, that was for sure, but I was nearly certain that it had absolutely nothing to do with drugs. And if it did, they were fucking geniuses in keeping it under wraps.

When I'd passed the full run down on to Aro, he did just as I suspected. Hell, part of me believes he wanted to see my ass shot down just so he'd be rid of me. Any fucking way, he ordered James and I to infiltrate their operation tonight. Aro was certain that we could get them to talk, but me, I wasn't so sure.

Regardless of whether we had the men identified or not, we were going in blind. If they weren't dealing drugs, there was still a handful of other things they could be involved in. And if I was wrong and it turned out to be drugs, if they were smart enough to keep it under wraps, I didn't want to know how advanced and ruthless their fucking henchmen were.

"So what's the plan, Cullen?"

"We'll wait until it starts to get dark. Going after them now, in broad daylight, would put us out in the open. The last thing we need is a repeat of our last fuck up. Whatever you do, Harrison, don't fucking kill anyone just for the fun of it."

"Dude, if I get a bad vibe from someone, I'm putting a fucking bullet in their head. Besides, you can't tell me that if we happen to get caught, you aren't going to go all Rambo on their asses."

"That's if we get caught, which—if you stick to the plan—won't fucking happen. I'm going straight to the damn building. You're to keep watch outside and cover me."

"Okay, what the hell are you planning to do if you get inside? There's no way that anyone's going to believe you just so happened to stumble on to this shit. You're fucking Edward Cullen, and if this guy is after Aro, they'll fucking slaughter you. Everyone fucking knows you work for him."

"Which is why I'm going in, and you're going to cover me. I can move without being seen, fucker. Now, where'd you put the fucking guns."

"Stashed in the pockets behind our seats."

I reached out and popped him upside the fucking head. "Jesus, you've been working for him longer than I have, and the best place you could think of to stash them was behind our seats?" I roared. "A fucking three year old could find that shit, James!"

"Want a line before we head out?" James questioned. I could count on one hand the amount of times I'd actually done a line of coke, but with the state my nerves were in and the overall shitty feeling I felt from having not talked to Bella, I welcomed it.

"Where'd you get this shit from? Aro or Tanya?" I questioned.

"Tanya. Why?"

"You realize what kind of shit this could be laced with?" I exclaimed.

"Cullen, trust me, man. Tanya's shit is legit. Do you really think I'd be doing it if it wasn't? Why the fuck are you so against her anyway? She never did shit to you."

I thought about it for a second, and while there was plenty I could have said in retaliation, I let it slide. I leaned over and snorted a line off of the mirrored tray that James had laid out on the console.

"I'm not necessarily against her, but I am curious. Are you aware that Newton's her new favorite customer during her shifts at the diner?"

I watched as his eyes blazed with anger. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Call Newton. Ask him who his newest lay of the week is."

"I'm going to fucking kill that son of a bitch!" He yelled out, ramming his fist into my dash.

"That's my fucking car, asshole! Instead of going after him, shouldn't you be taking this up with her? She's the one spreading her fucking legs and opening that disgusting, germ infested mouth of hers."

"Have you ever…?" he started, glaring at me.

"Bitch, you know I haven't. I wouldn't touch that shit if my fucking life depended on it. Besides, when have you ever seen me touch one of those whores at Banner's?"

"Come to think of it, I haven't," he said as I leaned over a snorted another line.

"I'm not dumb enough to get involved with anyone, Harrison. Just think, if something were to ever go wrong on a job or something, and Aro put out a hit on you, who do you think they're going to go after for leverage?"

"Shit, you know that's right, but then again, Tanya would probably enjoy that shit."

Feeling the instantaneous high flood my mind and rush through my veins, I burst into laughter at the absurdity, yet unmistakable truth of his statement. A whore like her probably _would _enjoy that shit. How he could justify to himself even being with her was a mindfuck to me. Sure, James was a low-life asshole and I couldn't stand the fucker most of the time, but he wasn't stupid. He knew that she fucked around and from his experience with her, he knew that she had an aversion to latex, so why the hell he ignored that shit all for the sake of getting his dick wet was beyond me. Or maybe he was like me. Maybe he just didn't give a fuck anymore and knew that this was his life now and there was no way out. Maybe he was trying to make the best of it. It was a long shot and truly made me fucking sick to my stomach in thinking that I could possibly _ever_ have anything in common with that piece of shit.

***~C&B~***

Once night fell, James—higher than I'd ever seen him—took off towards the beach, armed and ready. I couldn't get past the gut feeling that something was amiss with this whole ordeal. I'd done this shit more times than I cared to remember, and although there was a lot more at stake here, protocol was the same as it always was.

The high from the line I'd done in the car earlier had worn off, so I was more that aware of my surroundings. We'd scoped the place out thoroughly before getting out of the car. There were two guys standing guard outside the building they were operating out of down the road. James had a plan to distract them while I slipped inside. That was where it would get tricky. I was going in completely blind. James and I could watch what we on outside as much as we wanted, but I hadn't the slightest clue what I would encounter upon walking through those doors.

With a heavy breath, I slipped an extra magazine for my gun into the waistband of my jeans in the back, then chambered a bullet. For extra measures, I grabbed my knife and strapped it to my ankle, pulling my jeans down over it, before hurrying down the shore to meet James—ready for anything.

Once I made it down to him, James glanced at me over his shoulder.

"Change of plans," James told me, his voice quiet.

"You're kidding, right? You can't change the fucking plan!"

"Think about it, Cullen. We have no way of communicating once you're inside, and there's no way I'm letting you go into the unknown alone. Aro would have my ass for that shit! I say we take out the two assholes at the door, and I'll come in behind you."

"Fine, but doesn't this seem a bit fucked up to you?"

"What are you talking about?"

"If someone is out there planning to take down Aro, you'd think he'd have a hell of a lot more men guarding his territory. There's only two…it just seems way too fucking easy."

"You think they're onto us or some shit?" he questioned with his brow furrowed.

"I don't know but something doesn't seem right, so keep your fucking eyes…"

"What the…Hey, is that Newton?" James exclaimed pointing in the direction of the doors.

Sure enough, there was Newton, talking to the two goons standing guard.

"What the fuck is he doing here? Did you know anything about this?" I asked, quickly getting pissed off.

"No, but you know Aro; he's fucking unpredicatable."

"All right, fuck this shit. Come on," I told him as we moved toward the building, surrounded by darkness.

**Well, what did you think? I know it may seem as though the chapter ended in an awful spot but I assure you, there's a reason for that! The rest of Edward's night IS coming in Ch. 17 to be exact!**

**As always, leave some love!**


	17. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

**So here's the second update of the night as I promised! Hope you enjoy it! **

**BPOV**

Some might call me a doormat in regards to Edward, but quite honestly, I don't give a shit. Did I want to scream and hit him until my fists bled? Fuck yeah I did. Did I want to demand that he actually tell me the truth and let me in? Hell yes, but to do that would have made me a hypocrite. I knew what position I would be putting him in by asking him to do so.

I'd been there.

When I was with Jake and his crew, we had rules which seemed to be the basic standard for any gang slash drug ring. Everything was kept between the members of said group, and anyone caught leaking information was severely punished for it. Some even killed. I wasn't going to be responsible for putting that weight over Edward's shoulders. He had enough shit to deal with as it was.

So yeah, I made amends with him and let it go. Now, letting go of _him _was a different story. Having him wrap his arms around me was something I never saw coming, not that I was complaining. Once he'd pulled me against him and I felt the hard lines and heat of his body on my own, I was done for. My lady bits were screaming for attention, and it literally took every ounce of restraint I possessed not to jump his fucking bones and rub myself against his dick like a bitch in heat.

Not that there was necessarily anything wrong with feeling something for Edward—because I was way past the point of being able to fight it—but right now, neither of us were at a point in our lives where I felt we could handle a relationship. I was still dealing with the bullshit memories of things I'd experienced with Jake, and that left a huge problem for me when it came to moving on. I guess you could call it anxiety. I needed to move past that before I tried to start anything with anyone, and more importantly, if I were to get involved with Edward, I would have to come clean with him about the truth of the first night I'd shot up.

What scared me the most was that I feared we were already heading towards something happening. The way Edward had looked at me when he let me go unnerved me. There was something unspoken behind his eyes, and the biggest signal was how tender he'd been. Of course his words were a different story, demanding some 'fucking cookies', but his demeanor was unlike the Edward I'd seen before.

"Hey, Doll? Where'd this come from?" Edward asked, breaking through my thoughts.

I shook my head to break through the fog and glanced up to see that Edward was no longer standing in front of me, but was now in the living room holding the picture that the Fairy of Hell had brought as a gift. I honestly saw it as more of her getting rid of it than gifting it, but what the fuck ever.

"Alice fucking brought it with her to give to me."

He eyeballed me and furrowed his brow. "Didn't go well, did it?" he asked.

"I told you that I chose your side, didn't I?"

"Yeah, you did, but that still doesn't tell me anything."

I sighed as I ran a hair through my hair in frustration. "What do you expect me to say, Edward? She came here to tell me her story, thinking that I would take her side and turn against you. I lashed out and told her word for word that I chose your side, then she left. End of story."

"What did she say?" he questioned.

I took in a deep breath to calm myself. I didn't want to come off too harsh and begin fighting with him again. "Why is it that I'm expected to give you every detail, but yet when I ask you a simple question about you being injured, I get shut down?" I watched as he swallowed and looked away for a second before meeting my eyes. I could tell that he was warring with himself.

"Doll," he began but I cut him off.

"If we're going to be friends and I'm going to be there for you, there has to be compromise or balance, Eddie. Right now, it's incredibly uneven, and I'm not saying that to make you feel bad. I've fought and cut the cord with your family for you, I've told you my story, and I think that I've proven that you can trust me. At least I hope you're beginning to. I'm not asking for all the details because I know that information regarding a 'job' is confidential. I just want to know how badly you're injured and if you need medical attention for it."

"No, no medical attention. Used to be a doctor, remember?" he whispered as he looked up at me with a small smile.

"Right, well, that's better than nothing I guess. Make yourself at home, I'm going to go check and make sure I've got everything for your 'fucking cookies'," I told him with a wink, causing him to laugh a little.

"Hey, do you happen to have an ice pack? It probably wouldn't hurt to ice my knee."

I couldn't help but smile to myself as I turned to go and grab a bag of frozen peas out of the freezer. At least he was attempting to relax. Granted, it was baby steps he was taking, but steps nevertheless.

"This is all I have right now unless you want ice in a huge Ziploc."

"This should work," he answered as he went back to the couch. "You know I'm just fucking with you, right? You don't have to make that shit right now."

"I know, but I've still got to get dinner going."

"Damn, Bella, just come sit down! We can order pizza or something," he shouted to me with a laugh.

I did as he said, but when I entered the living room, Edward was sitting on the couch moving all over the place trying to figure out how to position his leg.

"Hey genius, why don't you just lay on the fucking couch?" I asked, arching my brow at him, completely ignoring the glare I received back.

"Because I need to prop my leg up, smart ass."

"Well _dumbass_, that's what the throw pillows are for."

I walked around the side of the couch and grabbed the two pillows that he'd put on the floor. I gestured for him to lie down and once he did, I gently lifted his leg—with his assistance—and stacked the pillows beneath his knee.

"I don't know whether to thank you, or to take the name calling as an insult," he grumbled.

"Remember who it is that will be in charge of making your cookies," I quickly said with warning.

"Thank you," he gritted out.

"Oh and before I forget, my dad said hi."

Edward's head whipped around quick as he stared at me with narrowed eyes. "You told him about me?"

"Not everything, no, but I did talk to him about Carlisle and all the shit here. That's who I was talking to on the phone earlier. When Alice left I was ready to kill something, and I needed to calm down before I did something stupid. I just told him straight up about shit, and he plans to come soon. He's on our side, Eddie."

"So he knows I'm an addict?" he exclaimed. "Fuck my life," Edward groaned, throwing an arm across his eyes.

"Hey, chill the fuck out. He isn't going to judge you. He's what got me through everything, remember?"

"Yeah, but you're his baby girl, Doll."

"And you're like a son to him, just as Carlisle and Esme were like parents to me…once upon a time. Just trust me, okay? I didn't want to keep it from you, and you had a right to know before he comes for a visit."

"Thanks for the head's up," he chuckled wryly.

"You know what, go ahead and watch what you want. I'm going to make a quick spaghetti."

"Need any help?"

"Nope, your crippled ass can stay on the couch."

"Nice," he laughed. "Well, will you bring me a Crown and coke?"

"I don't know. What do I get in return?"

"What do you want?" he asked, narrowing his eyes at me.

I winced and then laughed. "Oh, that's a loaded question."

"Shit, that doesn't sound good," he muttered. "Bring me that drink, and I'll be at your fucking mercy."

"Actually, what I want really isn't that unreasonable, ya know."

"Fucking A, do I really want to hear this?" he questioned, throwing his arm across his eyes once more.

"Quit your bitchin'," I laughed. "All I want is a foot and shoulder rub."

Now, I expected him to give me a 'are you fucking kidding me?' glance, but instead, a deep, throaty chuckle erupted from deep within his chest.

"Just when I think I know what you're going to say, you surprise me with something completely different."

"What did you think I was going to say?"

"That's irrelevant," he told me flatly, leaving no room for argument. "We have a deal. Now, where's my fucking drink?"

"Seriously? Just like that? You're perfectly okay with giving me a shoulder and foot rub?"

"Why is that so shocking? You don't have some nasty ass fungus growing on your toes or some shit, do you?"

"Fuck you," I replied, laughing with him. "No, I just figured that was too…_sweet_ for you."

"Well, there are many things you don't know about me, Doll, and believe it or not, I do have a sweet side, however minimal it might be." He then glanced down to his watch. "You suck as a fucking waitress; I'm still waiting."

"I'm not sure where you've been to eat lately, but I can assure you, this waitress here is not _fucking _anybody."

"You know, I can think of a handful of ways to occupy that filthy mouth of yours."

"Now that's what I call a loaded statement, Eddie," I said with a wink as I walked off, hearing him groan from the couch.

"Why must you always turn everything into something sexual?"

"Who said anything about it being sexual?" I questioned, arching a smug brow at him as he lifted his head and looked at me over the top of the couch.

I quickly made the drink and walked back to the couch. "Here's your drink. Anything else?"

"Attitude check, Doll," he replied with a smirk. "But thank you, anyway."

I watched as he took a quick sip and then stared at me. "You didn't spit in it, did you?"

"Believe me, if I were trying to pull one over on you, I'd do something a hell of a lot worse than spitting in your drink. Why? Paranoid much?"

"Didn't you say something about making a quick spaghetti?"

"I did, but I think I just might like sitting here and annoying the shit out of you a bit more."

"Oh, well in that case, will you hand me the fucking remote?"

I smiled sickeningly sweet at him and grabbed the TV remote off of the TV stand. "This one?" I questioned as he laughed.

"Yeah."

"Here ya go," I told him as I placed it on the edge of the coffee table furthest from him and walked away.

I heard a mixture of a laugh and grumble erupt from deep within his chest as I gathered the ingredients in the kitchen.

"Did you get it yet?" I called out to him and then snorted in laughter as his hand rose up, middle finger smiling at me.

***~C&B~***

About thirty minutes later, the spaghetti was simmering on the stove as I started preparing the cookie dough. Edward had remained pretty quiet since I'd given him his drink, only asking for one more since. I'd taken a few shots of Jack just to ease my still tense nerves left from Alice's visit, and yes, I was buzzing like a motherfucker but not enough to deter my cooking. I really think I could cook blind while on Acid if I really wanted to, and no, I didn't want to.

I turned my mixer on and beat the eggs, then added the flour. While I let it stir on a low speed, I brought the water for the noodles to a boil and proceeded to put them to cooking. When I turned around, Edward was limping over to where the mixer sat on the bar.

"What the fuck are you doing walking around? Go sit your ass back down."

"You know, you're a lousy host. I was fucking bored as shit in there. You're supposed to talk to me, keep me company."

"Oh I'm sorry, I thought your request was for me to feed you. I didn't realize I had to entertain you too. Do I seriously look like a damn circus monkey to you?"

"Well," he started to say with a thoughtful expression until I threw the hand towel from my shoulder at him, causing a laugh.

"Anything I can do?"

"Yeah, pour me another shot of Jack."

His eyes shot back and forth from me to the bottle of Jack a couple of times before he began to chew on the inside of his lip.

"Just curious, how many have you had?"

"Two or three. Now pour me one, dammit."

"Just feel like drinking or is something bothering you?" he questioned. "Are you still pissed at me?"

"Jesus Christ! No, I'm not still angry with you. If I was, I wouldn't be going to all this trouble for you. And what's with the questions? Can't I just have a fucking drink when I want one?"

"All right, fuck," he said loudly. "Here."

He then fixed me with a calculating gaze as I grabbed the shot glass and downed it. "Thank you."

"Now that you got what you wanted, talk to me."

"Edward, I swear, it's nothing. I'm just trying to ease the tension from the shit earlier today, and no offense, but I really don't want to talk about it right now, okay?"

"I hear you loud and clear, but so you know, if you want to talk about it later, I'll listen," he told me softly before pouring himself a shot.

I had my back turned when I heard the shuffling of his feet across the floor.

"I've always wondered how these work," he murmured as I moved to see him looking down at the mixer. He was starting to fiddle with shit, which was never a good thing. Any sane woman knows that when a man starts fucking with shit they know nothing about, bad things happen.

Then it all seemed to go in slow motion. I was rendered mute and apparently immobile as I watched helplessly while stirring the noodles. His hand was going for the speed control switch. All I heard was, "Hey, what's this do?" before we were left in the huge, billowing cloud of white that was now my kitchen.

I was coughing uncontrollably when I heard him mutter, "Oh shit."

All I saw was red. I whipped around to fix him with the full effect of a steely glare, but when I lay eyes on him, the rage vanished, and I was left doubled over laughing, clutching at my stomach. Poor Edward stood with his hair caked in flour, raw eggs, and goo; even his lashes were coated in flour. His hand was still on the speed control and when his eyes finally met mine, his lips twitched, curving at the corners in anxiety.

My laughter died instantly. "Don't you dare fucking move, Cullen. You'll track that shit all over the place," I warned.

"I'm so fucking sorry, Doll," he apologized, his hand dropping to his side.

"Well, for future reference, if you don't know how something works, don't fuck with it!" I shouted, hurrying to the stove and taking the pot of noodles off the burner.

"Hey, I _did _ask, but you ignored me!" he shot back, scowling at me.

"Uh, I didn't have time to respond before your dumb ass pushed the knob!"

"How was I supposed to know that would happen?" he whined pathetically.

"I don't know, but you made this disaster; you're going to clean it."

Instead of responding, he began to chuckle as he looked at his clothes and then took a look around. There was raw, unblended cookie dough _everywhere._

"That's a good look for you, Doll, adorable actually," he said with a smirk.

"You too. I especially love the hair; you look like a real bad ass now," I answered sarcastically with a wink. "Come here; I want to get a picture of us like this to send to my Dad. He'll have a shit fit."

Edward groaned loudly and came towards me, running a hand through his hair and cringing when he saw the residue that he'd combed out. "Yeah, I'm bad ass all right," he joked as he leaned his head over my shoulder. "By the way, you should really feel special because I fucking hate taking pictures."

"Shut the fuck up and smile."

I waited a moment for him to pose and then snapped it. As soon as the click sounded, he walked away, grabbed my trash can and began scooping as much of the goop from the countertops and floors as he could with his hands. I glanced at the picture and actually freaking loved it. Edward's brows were arched with that sinister smirk on his face that I liked so much.

"Hey, Doll?" he asked as I looked in his direction. "Text it to me too, okay?"

"Thought you hated pictures?" I teased.

"Just do it," he ground out with a small smile. "Would you mind if I take a shower after cleaning up?"

"You actually want to take a shower without being told?"

"Okay, I don't give a shit about the consequences; you're a bitch," Edward laughed, slamming a handful of stuff into the trash and glaring at me playfully.

"I'll let it slide this one time, but on one condition."

"What's the condition this time?" he chuckled.

"I want a fucking cigarette."

"You're so damn easy!" he laughed, and then went for the back pocket of his jeans.

"And you're just full of loaded comments today, aren't you?"

The smile left his face, and he once again glared. "Does your head ever leaving the gutter?"

"On rare occasion. Oh and just so we're clear, if you're going to shower, make sure you actually have fucking pants on before you come walking out of that bathroom. I do not need a repeat performance of the dropped towel."

"Doll, I'm begging you, can we please not bring that shit up again? It was fucking humiliating and the only damn reason I dropped the towel in the first place is because you decided to ram your fist in my face."

With that I simply laughed and approached him, punching his arm lightly as he handed me a cigarette.

"Geez, you're in worse shape than I am. You're covered in egg."

"No shit! It feels creepy as all hell. My shirt keeps sticking to my back, and I don't know how it's even possible, but I'm positive I've got that shit in my fucking belly button."

"Then take off the damn shirt. I'll throw it in the washer while we eat. It'll be ready for when you go home."

His facial expression and tone changed immediately. It was like the relaxed version of Edward that I'd been talking to had disappeared and the dark, depressed persona was back.

"That probably wouldn't be a good idea, Doll. You don't want to see that."

"Oh come on, Eddie. It's just me. It's not like I'm actually hitting on you or anything. If you feel creeped out by the mess, take it off," I told him, seeing no change in his expression. "Or don't. It makes me no fucking difference."

I took a long pull from my cigarette as I turned back towards the stove and set the noodles back on the burner to continue boiling them. I then proceeded to clean some of the mess and get the mop bucket ready because the floor was going to have to be done.

I could see Edward begin to peel his shirt over his head in my peripheral vision. And what a vision it was.

Or at least it was until I turned to fully take him in. A gasp slipped past my lips and caught his attention. His torso was spattered with bruises here and there, no doubt from the same altercation that had injured his knee. Don't get me wrong, the man was still just as fucking gorgeous as before, but to see him like that saddened me.

Edward's jaw clenched as he looked away.

"Hey, I think the egg actually agrees with you. For the first time, your hair actually looks tame," I joked, hoping to take the attention off of my initial reaction.

"Hardy fucking har," he muttered. "You know, this isn't helping my knee out at all."

"Shit, sorry. Well, if you need a break to ice it, just go sit back down or go shower. I can handle it. I was only fucking with you anyway, Edward," I murmured, walking over to him.

When I stood before him, I took the time to really look him over. The ink on his shoulder and arm had me wet in seconds, and the nipple ring…all I can say is, thank God I had a cig, but damn, I really needed a drink now.

"See something you like, Doll?"

"Oh shut up. I was just looking at the ink. I've always wanted one but never could really decide on what or where I wanted one."

"Really? You?"

"Yes, me," I laughed. "Why is that so shocking?"

"It's not. I just…I…nevermind."

He quickly turned his back and resumed cleaning. Smiling to myself, I reached out and took hold of his arm, turning him back around.

"Oh hell no. Finish what you were going to say."

"If I do, it'll put all kinds of ideas in that twisted, perverted little head of yours, and I'll never hear the end of it."

"Just tell me, Eddie!" I begged. "Please?"

"No," he reiterated in a flat tone.

It was time to pull out the big guns; the look I'd only ever used with my Dad. The pout and puppy dog eyes.

I leaned my head against his bicep and waited for him to look at me. When he did, it was for a split second and he began to shake his head and laugh one of those silent laughs. "You suck so hard."

"So I've heard."

With that, he burst into a hearty chuckle. "What the fuck am I ever going to do with you, Doll?"

"Tell me what you were thinking?"

"Fine, you win. I was just going to say that if you really want one, I can name a few places that a tattoo would look fucking amazing on you, and I've even got some ideas as to what you could get."

"Oh really?" I grinned knowingly. "And in your world, is amazing just another word for sexy?"

Edward stared at me straight faced for a moment before shaking his head. "This conversation is over. I'm going take a shower. Is dinner almost done?"

"Yeah, just waiting on the noodles, and as soon as I get this mess cleaned up and we're done eating, I'll make you another batch."

"You don't have to, but whatever. I'll leave the cigs in here. Help yourself," he quickly told me before briskly walking to the bathroom. He wasn't in there but maybe a minute before he stepped back out. "Doll, I have a question. What the hell am I supposed to put on?"

"Shit, I didn't think of that. Do you have anything in your car by any chance?"

"No."

"Okay, well I do have some sweat pants that are way too big on me. I mean, the waist would probably fit you, but the length will be a little short."

His palm rubbed over his face roughly. "If I wear those, I don't want to hear any shit from you," he warned, narrowing his eyes at me.

"Deal." I hurriedly ran to my room and retrieved the pants from my dresser then handed them to him.

As I walked off, he gently took my arm and before I could realize what he was doing, his mouth was at my ear.

"Just so you know, I think getting something here," he breathed hotly, trailing his finger from my hip and down along the waistband of my jeans, "would be sexy as fuck."

I was nowhere near ready for my body's reaction to his touch. My nipples could've cut glass and I was in desperate need of a change of panties. My skin tingled where he'd touched me, and I would be seriously surprised if he hadn't taken note of the increase in my breathing. I prepared to say something back, but he began to chuckle huskily.

Then he was gone faster than I could blink. I whipped around right as the sound of the lock clicking into place echoed down the hall. He'd nearly caused an instantaneous orgasm to burst through me and there was no way in hell he was getting away with that shit. I would have to get him back somehow and I could already see the plan forming in my head.

As I passed by the bathroom door, I pounded on it and yelled, "That was fucked up, asshole!"

I could hear his raucous laughter as I made my way back to the kitchen, lighting up another cig and pouring me a shot. It was going to be a long ass night.

***~C&B~***

About thirty minutes later, Edward finally came walking out of the bathroom, with sweatpants that cut off a little below the knee, and a towel hanging on the back of his neck. I had just finished setting the table and managed to get everything cleaned up just in time.

"Wow, you've been busy," he said with a smile as he grabbed a cig and lit up.

"Yep. Nice legs, Eddie."

He arched a brow at me in warning while scratching at a spot on his tattoo. "I feel bad for having left you to clean up the mess, Doll. Let me do the dishes, okay?"

"Yeah, but you owe me my shoulder and foot rub, remember?"

"There will be time for that after I do the dishes," he laughed. "Awfully anxious, aren't you?" Edward asked in a throaty voice as he leaned in closer to me, sipping from a Crown and coke I'd just made him.

"Knock that shit off, Eddie!" I demanded, shoving his head back playfully, nearly causing him to spew his drink at me.

"Ooo, I'm right, aren't I?" he questioned with a shit eating grin.

"Exactly how much have you drank today?" I said non-rhetorically as I forced myself not to look at him. Knowing he was without a shirt on was pure hell, and judging from the mood he was in, there was no way I could check him out appreciatively without him noticing and running his mouth.

"Need some help? I can fix us some…wait, do you have any wine?"

"Jesus, Eddie, I may be a professional baker, and I may know how to cook, but I'm not _that _fancy," I laughed over my shoulder at him as I placed a basket of garlic butter basted breadsticks on the table.

"Excuse the fuck out of me, I was just asking. Come on, Doll, let me do something. You're making me feel like hell," he whined.

"Don't, Eddie. Seriously, there's nothing to do. Just take a seat and dig in. I can either fix you a drink or, if you're like me, you'll just drink your Crown and coke."

"Crown and coke it is."

And because someone up above enjoys fucking with me, wouldn't you know that Edward actually took the seat to my left. And to make it worse, the fucking light was hitting his damn nipple ring at just the right angle to shine and catch my eye. With each sip of my drink, every bite of my food, the urge to take that fucker into my mouth grew in strength.

But then, I felt something against my foot. I knew what it was. It wasn't unpleasant or creepy, but seriously? What. The. Fuck?

"Eddie, what the hell are you doing?" I asked around a bite of bread, cutting my eyes over to him.

He raised a brow a bit and took a pull from his drink. "Uh, well it would appear that I'm eating."

"Last time I checked, most people didn't play footsies with someone that they claim to be their sister."

Just as I knew it would, Edward choked on his food. "Are you kidding me with that horseshit?" he questioned, his voice strained from coughing. "I think that the things I've said, combined with certain _actions, _have proven that I'm not claiming shit."

"Not that I care, but I just want to clarify something, considering you did admit that the town tends to think you have a history with incest."

"Oh for fuck's sake, can we come back to this conversation after dinner? Because for one, I do _not _have a history of fucking incest, and two, there's a huge difference between claiming someone as a sister and knowing someone so long that they're _like _a sister."

"So, which one is it, Eddie?"

"Neither. Now shut the fuck up, let me eat, and then we'll revisit this whole…issue," he grumbled. "Oh and for the record, if I want to play footsies, I'll fucking play footsies, but just to clarify, you're the one that asked for a foot rub."

**Believe me when I say that even I can't wait to get the next chapter out! Was it as good for you as it was for me? These two just crack me up when they get going! **

**Leave some love!**


	18. Chapter 17

**EPOV**

Fuck me sideways. Bella didn't realize just how badly she'd messed up.

After dinner, she'd actually gone ahead and made me a batch of cookies while I cleaned the dishes—and yes, after she beat me with the spatula a few times I stayed the fuck away from the mixer. Then, right as they finished, she handed me a big ass container of them and announced that she was taking a shower.

Forget what the thought of her in the shower did to me; my concern now lay with how many fucking pounds I'd just put on. She'd baked a little over a dozen and all that was left to show for it were crumbs. I'd consumed an entire batch of cookies on a stomach already full from dinner.

I now sat lounged like a true lazy ass, stretched across her couch, cookie container resting on my lap as my hands clutched at my swollen stomach.

"Well, don't you look comfortable," she laughed, startling me. It took a lot of warring with my body to get my eyes to obey and actually open, but when I did, I wished I hadn't.

Thank fuck for the empty container because I was hard upon sight of her. There she stood, hair stringy and damp from her shower, and an evil set of pajamas surely put together by the devil himself just to watch me squirm. A spaghetti strap top—extremely thin mind you, and enough to show she was without a fucking bra—made of black silk with a little lace laying against the top of her boobs covered most of her torso. Then…to make it worse, her matching pajama pants hung dangerously low on her curvy hips, exposing just a sliver of flesh on her stomach.

And I was supposed to fucking give her a _massage_ and remain in control of myself with her looking like that. Those two things alone set my mind in an all-out panic.

"I take it you liked 'em," she said with a smirk. It took me a second to snap out of the fog her choice in clothing—if you could even call it that—had put me in.

"No, actually I hated them so much that it literally made me sick eating them, but I did it so you wouldn't get your feelings hurt," I replied, trying to come across as convincing as I could.

"Right," she laughed. "That's why you had that sweet, content smile on your face when I walked in here. You suck at lying, Eddie."

"In all seriousness, Doll, those were the best fucking cookies I think I've ever had. If it's not too much trouble, I think I'll have you make me another batch tomorrow so I can bring some home with me. Hell, I'll even pay you."

"You aren't going to pay me for shit," she told me firmly as she came closer and then—fuck me—she leaned over, extending her hand to me. "Come on, get your ass up."

"Where are we going?" I questioned, looking anywhere but directly in front of me—her fucking tits were right in my fucking face…without the confinement of a bra—as I allowed her to help pull me off the couch.

"Smoke. And when we get back in, it'll be your turn to pay up," she answered, walking ahead of me to the kitchen where she grabbed the pack off of the bar.

And while I took the opportunity to fully appreciate the sway of her hips and the beautiful way her ass wore those pajama pants like a second skin. Before she turned around, I discreetly adjusted my junk best I could in the tight ass sweats I was wearing because, let's face it, they fucking showed _everything_. Though it was probably pointless being that she'd already seen me naked as the day I was fucking born.

I followed her outside and instead of moving to sit with her on the porch swing, I headed down to my car.

"What are you doing?" Bella asked in confusion.

"I need my pills," I replied, knowing she'd understand without me having to elaborate.

"Hey, care if I take a peek inside your car? I'm dying to know what drove you to buying a damn Volvo."

"Have at it," I answered with a smile then felt the grin leave my face as she fucking came down the steps with a bounce in her step.

And what happens when a woman, wearing no bra, bounces in any way?

_Exactly._

I watched as she came closer and stopped on the sidewalk. "I thought you wanted to have a look, Doll?"

"I do, I was just waiting for you."

"Come sit down; they're in the glove compartment anyway."

It was as she sat down and nosed around that I began to realize that I really was beginning to trust her, a hell of a lot more than I trusted anyone nowadays. Why it all of a sudden hit me in that moment, I don't fucking know, but I thought back over our earlier squabble regarding my leg being hurt and her wanting to know what had happened. Of course, her words in that moment—compromise to be exact—ran over in mind again and again.

Would it really be so bad to explain to her what had happened without giving names? Did I think that it was risky, that she would go off and tell someone else?

The answer was a simple no.

It was just a feeling in my gut that I had about her. She didn't come across as that type of woman, and the fact that she'd once been involved in the same shit lessened the chances of her talking that much more.

"Wow, this is a lot nicer than I thought," she laughed, running her hand along the dash as I arched a brow at her. "Don't give me that look. It's not like I thought it would be cheap or anything…fuck, it's bad ass, okay? Get your pills, I'm gonna go light up a smoke."

Before I could say anything through my laughter at her awkwardness, she had risen up and bolted to the porch.

Giving me yet another reason to bite my tongue. How the fuck was I going to get through the massage without going against everything I'd worked so hard to control? Meaning, how the hell was I going to stop myself from straight up fucking mauling her?

I ground my teeth together in frustration, willing my libido to calm the hell down as I reached into the glove compartment and grabbed a few pills from my stash bag. Not needing a drink, I swallowed them down and locked up the car before slowly making my way back to the porch.

"Everything okay?" she asked as I hesitantly sat next to her on the swing.

"Yeah," I answered, trying to sound upbeat. "Why?"

"You just seem a little off. That or maybe I'm just that tired," she laughed.

"Well, I feel like a damn whale after having inhaled a big ass box full of cookies, so that might have something to do with it," I joked. "That and maybe I'm freaking the fuck out a little bit."

"About what?"

"Because I'm about to do something I haven't done in two and a half years, Doll. You were right; there needs to be compromise and balance, and right now, it's completely uneven. You wanted to know how I got hurt, and I'm going to tell you…I _want _to tell you, but Bella, while I know there's no reason for it, I have to hear you say that you won't repeat anything. I don't think I need to explain why that's…"

"Edward, if you're this uncomfortable, you don't have to tell me anything. I mean that," she murmured, putting a hand on my knee.

"No, I do, Doll. It's not much, but it's all I can bring myself to trust you with right now. And please, don't be offended by that because this is all fucking new to me."

"Hey," she smiled with understanding. "I get it. Stop freaking out. Why don't we finish smoking, give yourself a few minutes to breathe, and then we can go inside and you can talk while you rub my feet?"

I narrowed my eyes at her. "You swear there's no fucking fungus, right?"

To that, she scowled and bumped her shoulder into me. "I swear, asshole. But even if there was, I'd still be making your bitch ass rub 'em."

"Fat chance," I challenged, barking out a laugh.

Bella shook her head with a grin at me as we finished smoking. And by the way, the cool night air against the thin fabric of her top did _not _work in my favor, if you catch my fucking drift.

"Trying to get me drunk, Doll?"

"No, I just thought it might make you a bit more comfortable," she answered softly, which shocked the shit out of me. I thought for sure that she'd bite back with a smart ass response.

"Well, in that case, thanks, Doll."

So, eventually we made it back to the couch where she sat on one end and stretched out. I glanced at her for a moment before scratching at my head.

"There a problem?"

"Um…it's just, my leg. I need to elevate it, and I'm trying to think of how to go about this," I rambled as she laughed adorably at me.

"Must I help you figure out everything, Cullen?" she asked, glaring at me.

"It's a logical fucking question!"

"Place your ass at the other end of the couch and stretch your legs out on either side of mine; problem solved."

"You think you're just soooo smart, don't you? How the hell—in that position—do you suppose I elevate my bad leg? I can't rest it on your knee as it'll make rubbing your feet awkward as hell."

"There's only one place to accomplish this _and _elevate your leg at the same time, but I doubt you'll go for it," she mumbled, throwing her forearm across her eyes.

"Try me."

"Okay, we could move this to my bedroom."

_Oh, fuck me! Say no! If you value your sanity, for the love of all that's fucking holy, say no!_

"Let's go," I answered like the dumbass I am. Call me a glutton for fucking punishment. I have no idea why the hell I was even going along with her idea anyway. Maybe I just wanted to talk to her more than I had initially realized, or maybe I was actually dying to touch her feet—I was going with the former, just so you know.

I watched as her arm literally jumped off of her face and her eyes widened significantly at me. "No funny business though," she said with warning as she rose up off of the couch.

"You're the one trying to get me in bed. I was raised under the impression that you'd at least expect me to have taken you out a few times before that step ever came to discussion."

I'd barely managed a breath after that when the back of her hand slammed against my chest.

"Prick," she laughed as she led me out of the living room and down the hall to her bedroom, our drinks in hand.

"Hey, I'm just stating the obvious here. So far tonight: you've taken care of me, fed me, baked me cookies, gotten me buzzing like a mother fucker, and now you're inviting me into your bed."

"Correction; I'm inviting you _on _my bed. There's a difference," Bella answered, turning on a lamp that stood on her bedside table.

She gestured for me to sit down, and when I did, she stuffed a few decorative pillows beneath my knee.

"Aww, you're so sweet," I cooed, knowing it would frustrate the shit out of her.

And just as I predicted—for once I was right—she plopped down on the bed, causing her tits to bounce a few more times. I was seriously beginning to believe that she knew what the fuck she was doing and was doing it on purpose. With her ass end next to my calves, she plopped her feet up on my lap.

"I'm waiting," she hummed after an abrupt clearing of her throat.

Now, there were several things I could have done that would have made me an asshole at the moment, but instead, I gently picked up one of her feet and began to knead my fingers into the arch of her foot, to which she closed her eyes and groaned.

"Shit, too hard?"

"No, fucking perfect," she answered back.

"All right, well, as I'm sure you've already gathered, I was out on a rather big job. Apparently, someone has moved into the area and seems to be trying to take over our territory. One of our henchmen and I were sent out to one location while the rest covered Seattle. I, of course, threw a huge fucking fit about having to work with this guy because, from my experience, he never fails to fuck everything up."

"I know how that goes," she said as she threw her head back, I assume in response to my skills. Yeah, insert fucking wink here.

"We sat out there all damn day and night for most of the fucking week, taking note of everyone coming and going and the basic shit like that. Then I met up with one of the guys working detail in Seattle to see what all they'd gathered which wasn't much. We received a call from my boss that night, ordering us to infiltrate their meeting grounds and get to the bottom of it. His exact words were that he wanted to pull the rug out from under them. Doll, in the two and a half years that I've been involved in this shit, I'd never had a bad feeling, but something about this one had my gut all fucked up. It didn't feel right. My guy was going to work as a distraction, someone to cover my ass as I slipped inside. We had our guns ready to go and had moved into position when everything fucked up. The same damn guy I'd met with that morning had just engaged in conversation with the guys standing guard outside the entrance, and he'd been perfectly comfortable in doing so."

"So you guys had a fucking rat?" she spat as her eyes narrowed.

"Yes, only worse. Doll, he fucking knew everything there was to know about us. Seeing him explained why we hadn't seen near as many men as we had expected on site. They knew we were there. We gave it a few hours before we attempted to get in again, and this time, when I made it through the doors, I was attacked. Someone landed a blow to my leg first, then my back and shoved me down a set of fucking stairs. I passed out and when I came to, I was in the trunk of a fucking car."

"Where the hell was your backup, Eddie?" she exclaimed as I paused my ministrations on her feet for a moment.

"Just listen, okay?" I pleaded as nicely as I could without losing my fucking cool. Talking to her about this shit, while it felt nice to finally confide in someone, had my fucking stomach in knots. Just the thought of them somehow finding out about her had me sweating bullets. "They ended up bringing me to some warehouse. I couldn't even fucking tell you where it is because I don't remember anything. Thankfully, my backup had seen it all and had enough fucking sense to follow the car they'd put my ass in. He managed to catch them unaware and he alone made it possible for me to walk away from that fucking nightmare. That was the closest I've come to…well you know. Turns out that the rat was actually the new lead henchman for some other big guy. We've yet to figure out who, and we've been trying to get information out of the piece of shit ever since. Due to all I endured, the boss gave me the slip on having to stick around for all that, considering the shit hand I was dealt on the job."

"What the fuck? That's it? They didn't send anyone to watch your back? Edward, if that fucker was a rat, that means most of the other men he works with know about you, and being that you got away and this guy is now caught, just think of the ramifications! I don't want to see anything happen to you and I'm sorry, but this…what they did, what you went through…"

I quickly set her feet off to the side of me on the bed and leaned forward. I took her hand and tugged, urging her to come closer.

**BPOV**

I looked into his eyes, his hand still pulling. My insides were shaking. I didn't want to feel like this. Not now. Not after how well the rest of our time together had gone…today anyway. I took notice of his state of undress once more before crawling the step and a half across the bed to him, where he quickly urged me to lean against his chest and relax. He gently folded his arms around me and rested his chin atop my head.

"Doll, it's okay. I promise you that. Although, from what I've just told you, it probably doesn't seem that way—I can take care of myself. Nothing is going to happen to me, Bella."

"Do you at least carry a fucking piece?" I quietly, referring to a gun.

"What do you take me for?" he chuckled. "Of course I do. This was just a freak thing. My boss just got fucking sloppy with the type of guys he was hiring and didn't check them out thoroughly enough. Hell, I'd had issues with that rat piece of shit since he started working. That and we went into that job blind, not knowing our foot from a fucking hole in the ground. We didn't know what these guys were supposedly into, who they were working for, and what they were planning. We knew nothing and being told to infiltrate the unknown is damn near like Russian roulette."

I sat in his arms, molded to his bare chest with an amazing conflict of feelings stirring in me. My body was buzzing with arousal from being so fucking close to him, and was also freaking the fuck out in fear that something would happen to him. I knew from experience, even the best fell, and no one could do shit to stop it. I didn't want Edward to fall into that category.

I didn't know the first thing about who the fuck he was working for, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to know because if I did…well…you get what I'm saying.

Unable to handle my frazzled state, I broke from his hold and went into the kitchen, pouring yet another shot of Jack and grabbing a smoke from the bar before heading outside. I heard him protest to my abruptness, but couldn't be bothered by it.

I knew that I was probably making it harder on him by going off the way I was, and I knew that it had taken a lot for him to tell me the little that he did, but I didn't see anything wrong in expressing my concern.

Wait, no…fuck concern. Scared shitless was more accurate, and it was affecting me way fucking more than I ever anticipated.

I'd been outside for maybe ten minutes at the most, lost in thought, when I was startled by a warm hand on my shoulder.

"Please, Doll, don't do this," Edward pleaded softly behind me.

"Don't do what, Edward? Worry?" I asked, turning around and looking him in the eyes. "I'm sorry, but I can't help it. I fucking know what it's like, and dammit, this shit never fucking ends well, Edward."

"Bella," he said, gently turning me back around to face the yard. "Don't think I don't know how seriously I'm fucked right now, but please, believe me when I tell you that I'll be okay. I'm careful, Doll, and I've been in this shit long enough to know how they all work."

"So have I, Edward, and sometimes, even the best fucking perish. I don't want that to be you."

Without saying another word, he took my hand and started to pull me in the direction of the front door.

I glanced at him questioningly when he fucking smirked. "You are not staying out here and putting yourself on display, Doll."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I fumed.

"I'm talking about your clothing, or lack thereof."

"You ass," I shrieked, slapping at his hand. "These are pajamas! Geez, make me out to be some kind of whore!"

His eyes then bulged with fear. "Wait a damn minute! That is not what I was fucking suggesting! I'm just saying that the fabric is thin and quite honestly doesn't leave all too much to the ima…"

"If I were you, Cullen, I would _not _finish that fucking statement."

With a huff, I started to storm past him when he gripped me around the waist and hauled me into the living room where he fell back on to the couch, setting me between his legs.

"I'm just saying that if you were to put on a robe, it would be more classy," he whispered into my ear.

"Just keep digging that grave of yours," I bit out. "Or maybe the reason you want me to cover up, maybe the reason you've taken so much notice of what I'm wearing is because it makes _you _uncomfortable."

I waited for him to come back with another comment, but instead, I felt him toss my hair over one shoulder and then the fucking amazing sensation of his fingers running along the back of my neck, setting my body on fire and causing it to buzz with electricity.

"What were we arguing about again?" I questioned in what seemed to be a mix between a groan and a mewl. Who the fuck knows; my body quits fucking listening to me when my inner nymphomaniac is stirred awake.

His fingers meticulously began kneading the flesh of my neck and shoulders as I became a puddle of fucking goo in his hands. "I believe you were trying to insinuate that I was _bothered_," he began with an underlying suggestive tone, "by your minimal amount of clothing."

"Oh believe me; I don't _try_ anything, Eddie. I fucking do it."

His chest rumbled behind me with the throaty chuckle that slipped past his lips, his breath brushing against the back of my neck. And let it be known that having Edward Cullen this fucking close to me was the sweetest form of torture I'd ever been privy too.

"If the sounds you're making are anything to go by, I'd say you're loving the shit out of my hands right now," he whispered smugly, moving his wondrous hands to between my shoulder blades, then working his way back to the top.

"Your point?" I muttered, feeling yet another laugh erupt from him.

We then grew quiet, and it was during this moment of silence that my senses went on high alert. The warmth that emanated from his thighs on either side of mine left me fighting the unbelievable urge to rub my fucking legs together in attempt to ease the ache. My ears became acutely aware of each and every breath he took, every sound he made. My fingers, they fucking itched to grab hold of any part of him and not let go.

"Jesus, Doll, you're tense as hell," he murmured.

"Its okay, Eddie; I'm not made of porcelain. You can massage harder. After all, I like it rough."

_Mayday! Mayday! Filter annihilated!_

I froze in complete horror at the worst case of word vomit in my life. There was no way he wasn't going to take that and run with it.

"And you still want to claim me as _family_?" he spoke into my ear, causing my body to break out in goosebumps.

"Like you, I never fucking claimed a damn thing; Besides, I think it's become painfully obvious, Cullen, that while we're still close, the relation we once had years ago has drastically transformed into something entirely different."

"I can definitely agree with that," he muttered as he continued to rub out a sore spot on my shoulder.

I waited minute while he gradually slowed his ministrations and began tracing random shapes against the nape of my neck.

"What do you think we should do about that?" I questioned, skeptical of what he might say in response. My breaths came harder and faster the longer I waited for him to respond. His hands had completely dropped from my body, leaving my skin cold and wanting.

"I'm not sure I have an answer for that right now," he roughly whispered as he pulled me further against him, pressing his chest tightly to my back. "All I know is what I want right now."

"And what is that?" I quietly asked, feeling his hand slowly slide up my neck and into my hair, tangling in it and urging me to turn my head to look him in the eye.

"This," he replied firmly before knocking my world on its fucking axis and pressing his lips to mine.

Fuck.

*******ducks for cover***

**I know, I know! I'm already working on the second half to that. Some have asked when the prologue will come…I had said Chapter 19 or 20 but E/B tend to get damn wordy when they want to. So, it's looking more like 22 or 23, sorry for pushing it back a bit. **

**The next half probably won't post until next week as I will be out of town attending a funeral. **

**Anyway, if you enjoyed it, you know what to do! MWAH!**

**~T~**


	19. Chapter 18

**Hey my Lovelies! I would have had this up last night, but I was beyond exhausted.**

**See you at the bottom~~**

Chapter 18

"_What do you think we should do about that?" I questioned, skeptical of what he might say in response. My breaths came harder and faster the longer I waited for him to respond. His hands had completely dropped from my body, leaving my skin cold and wanting._

"_I'm not sure I have an answer for that right now," he roughly whispered as he pulled me further against him, pressing his chest tightly to my back. "All I know is what I want right now."_

"_And what is that?" I quietly asked, feeling his hand slowly slide up my neck and into my hair, tangling in it and urging me to turn my head to look him in the eye._

"_This," he replied firmly before knocking my world on its fucking axis and pressing his lips to mine._

_Fuck._

**EPOV**

I have no clue what came over me, but once it started, I was fucking helpless to stop it.

First, there was the unexpected warming of my heart when she'd expressed serious concern for my safety. Then, there were the scraps of clothing—what she considered to be pajamas—that molded to her body perfectly, making my dick strain uncomfortably against the impossible fucking fabric of these ugly ass sweat pants.

And the scent that emanated off of her body permeated all my fucking senses.

And yes, I'm fully aware that I'm coming off as the biggest pussy in the fucking world right now!

But the final nail in this coffin was sealed the moment my hands first made contact with her flawless, silky skin, and then was rammed even further down by the sexy-as-fuck, kill-me-right-the-fuck-now noises that slipped from her lips in response to _my_ hands.

And the back and forth jabs we were taking at each other just fueled the tension that much more, and no, the drugs I'd taken and the alcohol we'd both consumed did not help matters. Being that I hadn't even so much as engaged in conversation with a woman and _enjoyed _it in two years, my senses and emotions were in fucking overdrive, and all I wanted to do was _take _her.

I hated thinking that way; it made me sound like an asshole—which I am, but still…

The connection Bella and I shared was one I'd never experienced with anyone before, so when she asked me that fucking question, I couldn't pass it up. I saw an opportunity and I went after it with determination.

All I wanted, all I could think about in that moment was losing myself in her; so I did.

I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her tight against my chest while my other hand moved to tangle deep in the chestnut tresses of her hair. I guided her head around to face me, and as soon as I looked into her chocolate depths, there wasn't a doubt in my find mind. I didn't give a fuck if she didn't respond or if she slapped the shit out of me, I just had to have a taste.

Again, glutton for punishment.

Seeing the confusion and trepidation in her eyes, I quickly lowered my head and pressed my lips to hers, not giving her another moment to think about objecting.

Bella didn't respond on contact as I'd taken her completely off guard, but when she did, _fuck me. _ She moaned against me and slid her hand up my neck to grab a fistful of hair. Normally, it pissed me off if anyone touched my fucking hair, but this felt fucking amazing. Our lips continued to move together heatedly as I started to feel her ass begin grinding down against me.

I knew without seeing that my fucking cock was weeping for her, and quite honestly, I didn't know what to do with it. What I _wamted _was to bury myself balls deep inside of her, but the speed at which my fucking thoughts were progressing, it was probably best if I left her to setting the pace.

So imagine my shock when she roughly tugged my hair and darted her tongue out to slide along my bottom lip. "Fuck, Bella," I growled against her lips as I opened my mouth to her.

Either the drugs and alcohol combined were really fucking with me, or I was about to jizz from _kissing _for the first time ever, people. I couldn't tell you what I expected her to taste like, but whatever it was, she tasted beyond what I'd anticipated.

As we moaned and groaned, suckled and licked, nipped and lapped, my hand tentatively began to slide beneath the silk of that blasted fucking devil of a top. Her beautiful ivory skin burned hot beneath my fingertips as she arched her back, pushing her chest into my hand forcefully, giving me all the permission I fucking needed.

Taking a quick, much needed breath of air, my fingers gently pressed into her as my hand made its own path to her breasts…_finally. _She leaned her head back atop my shoulder as I craned my head down to lavish her neck with wet, open mouthed kisses, Bella loudly moaning all the while.

Her nails dug into the flesh of my upper thighs as her hands firmly gripped me, her hips still grinding relentlessly against my dick.

"Ungh…fuck, Edward," she moaned, her breaths picking up with speed under the ministrations of my mouth and hands.

"What the fuck are you doing to me, Doll?" I panted against her neck, nipping her skin as she hissed and fisted my hair tighter, ripping my mouth back to hers.

Bella throatily chuckled into our kiss and hummed in pleasure as her body began to shift in my lap. Her lips never left mine, so when I felt her legs fall at either side of my hips, and the unmistakable heat between her legs against my junk, I broke apart to look into her eyes.

They didn't disappointment. As a matter of fact, I was fucking positive that my eyes mirrored the same. Hungry, unadulterated lust burned behind them as she sexily bit at her reddened, swollen lips.

I was so consumed by the look in her eyes and the gorgeous fucking blush now coloring her flesh, that I failed to notice her taken my hands in hers and slide them up her shirt to palm those glorious tits I'd fantasized for weeks about.

"You can move, know?" She breathed into my ear, startling me out of my stupor and shocking the fuck out of me by being so close. My hands began to knead her breasts, rolling her nipples between my fingers as I watched the ecstasy wash over her. One of her hands snuck out and took hold of my fucking nipple ring, tugging on it and sending spasms through my body, my cock now harder than it had ever fucking been. And her body gyrating on top of me with even more purpose than before didn't fucking help.

I released a feral growl and waited with baited breath for her eyes to open. I wasn't sure if it was the fucking liquor or the lust that was to blame, but her eyes had glazed over.

And that was really all she gave me time to take note of before our mouths collided in a fiery kiss, complete with teeth and hot breathing as our tongues lapped at one another as though we were each other's last fucking meal.

I was _thisfuckingclose_ to completely blowing my fucking load in my pants. Wanting to bring her as close to the edge as she had me, I ripped my mouth from hers, grabbing hold of her the hem of her top, pulling it above her breasts. Not wasting any fucking time, I took one of her tits into my mouth, sucking and swirling my tongue around her hardened peaks.

Her body jerked against me as she clutched at my head, pushing and offering her chest up to me. She moaned loudly, tossing her head back in rapture as I looked up at her from beneath my lashes. And fuck…was she ever a sight to behold. That image was now burned into my mind, and I knew that once I left her house, I would be revisiting that fucking image often.

One of her hands moved back to pull at my pierced nipple, eliciting a deep seated groan burst from my chest as I moved my arms to wrap firmly around her back, holding her to me. Then, to see what she would do, I bit down on her nipple and held it between my teeth as I flicked it with my tongue.

"_Oh, fuck! Shit!_" she cried, forcing her hips flush with my own and holding the fucking position. There was no way in hell that she couldn't fucking feel what she was doing to me, what state she'd put me in.

I moved my mouth across her chest to lavish attention to her other breast, but the scratching of her nails against my jaw and the desperate way she pulled on me brought me back to her lips.

I rested my forehead against hers for a second, soaking in the feeling of her heat so hot and close to where I wanted her the fucking most. I ran a hand through her hair as I brushed my nose against hers, breathing her in, still holding her close with my other arm.

"Jesus, Edward, please," she whimpered, "move with me, do something…I need to fucking _feel _you."

Her wish.

My fucking command.

**BPOV **

Remember what I'd said about not getting involved with him until he knew the rest of my past? Yeah, that plan was fucking annihilated tonight. It was painfully obvious to me that the alcohol we'd consumed was to blame for our action—and pent up tension—so it was safe to say that Edward and I shouldn't drink together, or at least not drink the amount we had tonight.

But I was past the point of rescue now; nothing could pull me away from the heaven that was being in his arms, pressed against him as I was now.

And obviously, I'd triggered something in him because his eyes damn near went black as he groaned, plunged his tongue into my mouth, and thrust his hips up into me simultaneously. I gasped loudly into his mouth and dug my nails into the meat of his shoulder as one hand clasped the back of his neck.

The taste of Crown and coke still lingered on his tongue, and mixed with his natural flavor, I'd found what could quite possibly be my new fucking addiction. From the occasional brushing of his scruff against my chin, to the way his muscles flexed and twitched beneath my palms, Edward had me at his fucking mercy.

His hands slid down my sides as he swiveled his hips beneath me, bringing me so close to falling off of the proverbial cliff. They finally gripped my hips as he began to move me back and forth of top of him.

We were fucking dry humping. Why the fuck do they call it that anyway? I was wetter than fuck and I was sure I'd soaked through my pants.

Edward grunted as he continued to thrust beneath me, his hard-as-steel cock lined up perfectly as he slid between my cloth covered folds. One thing was for fucking sure, I'd never experience pleasure of this magnitude. Not even in the years I had been with…

And that poisonous seed of doubt and pain from my past had been planted. My mind began going places I never wanted to go again. I kept going with the motions, touching him, kissing him, but my head was somewhere else.

"Christ, Doll, I can fucking _smell_ you. You're so fucking wet for me, aren't you?" he rasped, breaking our kiss to lavish more attention on my neck. My eyes rolled back in my head as my mind struggled to separate what was happening from my anxiety and sudden confusion. One thing I did know was that even though I was no longer completely comfortable with what we were doing, I didn't want to stop fucking kissing him, or being close to him.

"What the," he started, suckling my ear, "the hell is that?" Edward questioned.

"What?" I answered brilliantly.

"You don't fucking hear Charlie Brown blaring from your phone?" he replied, chuckling sexily as he pulled away to look me in the eye. His smile didn't last long as his brow furrowed in confusion and worry. "Doll, you okay?"

Sure enough, my phone was blaring from the bar in the kitchen, vibrating with Charlie's ringtone. I met Edward's befuddled gaze for an awkward second before starting to rise from his lap. His hand struck out and caught my wrist.

"Bella, what…"

"That's my Dad; I have to get it," I quietly responded, letting my hand slip into his as I gave it a squeeze before running to the kitchen to call him back.

As I stood in there, phone ringing against my ear, I watched Edward lean his head back on the couch and rub his hands roughly over his face. He was frustrated and probably pissed at me, and I couldn't blame him. We'd gone from ninety to nothing in a matter of seconds, and it was my fault. I'd detached from the situation and given how I'd literally left him hanging with no explanation or reason other than my fucking Dad called, I left myself with no option other than telling him what plagued the darkest recesses of my mind.

When Charlie didn't answer, I started tapping out a text to him and as I did so, Edward stepped out onto the back patio, slamming the door behind him with force. I hung my head, not believing I'd let any of this shit happen to begin with.

I sighed and went to grab the pack off of the bar, but Edward had obviously grabbed them without me noticing. To say I was dreading this conversation was an understatement. For one, I was still wet as all get out for him. I could still feel him against me, still taste him on my tongue, and yet, I was going to have to tell him that what happened was a mistake.

Fuck my life.

I slowly made my way out the back door, head down, not wanting to look into his eyes and see anger reflected back at me.

I opened my mouth, about to apologize, but he stopped me. "Don't," he rasped. "I don't want to hear any fucking apologies, Bella. What I _do _want is to know what the hell happened?"

I continued to look down and shook my head. I knew the moment he was in front of me as I could feel the warmth from his body and could smell him. His hand rose up under my chin and lifted my head up, making my eyes meet his.

"Look, I know you've confided in me a hell of a lot more than I have you, and I know you don't have any fucking reason to trust me, but I know something's up, Bella. I mean obviously! I just…I don't get it. You were fucking really into it, me too, and then all of a sudden you went cold. What…"

"Eddie, it wasn't you. And you're right, I was really into it, but I need you to understand that what happened in there…that shouldn't happen again. At least, not for a while," I whispered.

"What the fuck? So you lead me on?" he questioned accusingly, narrowing his eyes.

"No, that wasn't what I meant. Look, Edward, I'll just be really fucking blunt; I want you, okay? I just have a lot of baggage from my past that I still haven't told you, and I just think that if you and I were to try and give whatever's between us a go, you deserve to know exactly what you're up against."

"So why didn't you just tell me to stop, or slow down? You made me fucking think I had pushed too hard and hurt you or some shit!"

"Because it had just hit me, and then my phone started ringing. Believe me; I don't want you to think that I used you because that's the biggest crock of shit I've ever heard."

"Exactly what are you trying to tell me, Bella? Because I'm fucking lost. You want me, I got that part, and I want you too, obviously, but what I don't get is why we stopped and why you're saying it can't happen again. You need to be a hell of a lot more blunt."

I glared at him and shoved my hand into the back of his pants where I'd spotted the pack of cigs stuffed in the waistband.

"Remember when I told you about the shit of my past?" I asked, balling up my fists and then hugging myself. Edward nodded, taking a long pull off of his cigarette. "Well, what I didn't fucking tell you was that I woke up the night after my first shoot-up with Jake under me and someone I still can't fucking identify behind me in bed. I don't remember much, but the shit I do remember, I wouldn't wish on anyone and those foggy memories haunt me. I never know when the flashbacks are going to come, and I never know how they're going to affect me…"

"That's what happened in the…" he murmured to himself. "Fuck, Doll, I'm sorry…I didn't know. I just…"

"Edward, don't. Like I said, it wasn't you. Of course, all the alcohol we consumed probably didn't fucking help."

"Bella, did you at least tell your Dad about what happened?"

"No. Edward, Charlie knows of my addiction, but not much else. Besides, there's nothing they could've done. I barely remember it myself, and I can't even identify the other guy. And with Jake, I spent every day after that just trying to block the shit out. Look, I told you the hardest part of all, and not to be a bitch, but I really don't want to talk any more about it. I just wanted you to understand, so that when I ask you if you mind taking things slow in regards to that, you'd know why."

Having said my piece and verging on tears, I slowly turned and began to head back inside.

Until his arms gently came around my waist, turned me back to face him, and held me for a moment.

"I'll admit that things got out of hand, and I let my dick do the thinking for me, which I haven't done in years, Doll. But you know how fucked up I am. Given your history and all you've done to get where you are now, why the hell would you want to get involved with someone like me? Bella, I've got a problem; I'll fucking admit to that, and I don't want to bring you back down. That's all that being with me will do for you."

"Well, I don't see it that way, Edward. I think that's _my _choice to make. Anyway, it's not like I'm saying let's jump into something serious right now. Hell, give it a week and I may decide that you aren't as fuckhot as I thought you were," I told him, earning a smirk and an arch of his brows. "But you can't deny the attraction between us, and I don't want to."

"Attraction? Where did you get that from? How do you know it wasn't just the alcohol talking?"

"Because, since I've been back, every time I get even remotely fucking close to you, you're eyes are glued to my tits. And when I turn, they're on my ass."

I watched his eyes bulge just before he erupted in hearty laughter. "Well, if you're going to go there, I can just as well say that you ogled my junk the other day at my front door."

"Touche. So?" I asked quietly, looking down.

"Doll, I haven't done this dating thing in years, and you're the first woman I've actually carried on conversation with in just as many. I'll go as slow as you need me to go, though I can promise you that I'm going to fuck up. And be warned, if I ever find out the identity of the other prick that violated and hurt you so deeply," he said on a whisper, "I'll hunt him down and feed his balls to him."

I smiled widely and kissed his cheek before trying to get myself loose from his embrace so I could make it back inside.

"Do you really think you're gonna get away with that shit?" he exclaimed. "You may have asked for slow, but you said fucking nothing about not kissing the ever loving fuck out of you, now come here."

**~*C&B*~**

I woke the next morning, stiff as fuck. Try as I might, I couldn't seem to get fucking comfortable. The pillow I had my head on was hard as damn rock and…wait.

Pillows don't fucking twitch.

"You have _got _to quit moving," a voice belonging to Edward rasped out with a sleepy tone. "Fuck, I know we got fucking wasted last night, but what happened to moving slow?"

_Holy fucking shit balls!_

I opened one eye to find myself face down in—you guessed it—his fucking crotch, which was stiff with morning wood.

Or according to his words moments before, was due to my need to get comfortable.

I then lay my head back down and groaned, completely humiliated.

That confirmed it. Drinking large quantities of booze with Edward while we were alone was fucking taboo. It was out.

_Never to happen again._

I felt him shift a bit underneath me.

"So, we're really going down this road, huh?" he questioned.

"What are you fucking talking about now?" I growled.

"Your head is still buried against my fucking dick, and if you don't move that pretty little head of yours up here so I can kiss you, I just might have to take your mouth being at such close proximity as a request."

Baffled, horrified, and ready to shove my tongue down his throat just for the sake of shutting his ass up, I fumbled and made to slide up his body, but failed.

Failed miserably.

My knee slipped off of the couch cushion and I collapsed as I lunged forward, slamming my throat directly on top of his shaft. Edward hissed, I couldn't fucking breathe, my throat hurt, and what was worse? The beautiful finale to my elegant display?

I fell off the couch—and Edward—crashing into my coffee table.

"You should probably listen to your own advice, Doll," Edward laughed through pain as he held his hands over the goods. "Slow, remember?"

I was going to fucking kill him.

Fuckhot with a massive cock or not.

**A/N: I can feel the frustration from here! *takes cover* **

**Bear with me! I swear you'll get what you want ;D**

**So….was it as good for you as it was for me?**

**Leave some love!**

**T**


	20. Chapter 19

**Hey lovelies! First, let me apologize beforehand as this chapter hasn't been beta'ed yet but I wanted to get it out!**

**I won't keep you waiting as I've made you all wait long enough so…see you at the bottom! **

**BPOV**

Edward Cullen.

What can I say? He'd been on my mind non-stop since he'd left my house late yesterday afternoon. I was completely blindsided by how much things had changed in the matter of a couple of days.

Okay, so that's not entirely true. It's not like I hadn't seen it coming. My feelings for him and my attraction spoke for itself, but if someone had told me that Edward and I would be dry humping and making out on my couch two days ago, I'd have bitch slapped them and laughed my fucking ass off.

I still couldn't fully wrap my mind around the fact that we were actually, in a roundabout way, dating now. Or at least that's what he'd led me to believe.

Yesterday morning, I sat my happy—or not so happy—ass on the couch nursing a rather large lump on my head, courtesy of my coffee table, with a bag of peas for damn near two hours before my headache finally waned. The gorgeous man, who was mostly to blame for my accident, had taken a vow of cowardly silence for a good forty-five minutes after my fall.

That is until I began giving him the evil eye and guilt tripping the shit out of him.

_*Flashback*_

"_You know, for a former doctor, your bedside manner fucking blows," I told him, narrowing my eyes grudgingly._

"_Hey, it's not my fault that you were so eager to wrap your lips around my cock that you couldn't hold your footing," he laughed arrogantly._

"_You asshole! __I was_not _attempting to__blow you! I was humiliated by you and was trying to get to you so I could kiss you, but I'm seriously starting to second guess my judgment. I mean, fuck, you haven't even asked if I was okay or if I needed anything. Hell, you haven't even said sorry for fuck's sake!" I ranted, going so far as to even muster up a few tears just for dramatics._

_I watched as his eyes widened in shock and his jaw dropped, just before his brow furrowed and he slid his body along the couch until he was pressed against my side._

"_Are you okay? Do you need anything?" he whispered softly in my ear while tucking a strand of hair back. "Oh…and I'm sorry, for fuck's sake."_

_When he finished, I landed a swift elbow to his sternum, unable to stop the chuckle that bubbled up from my chest at his sarcasm. Edward laughed in response and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, squeezing me a bit and gently kissing the crown of my head._

"_Finally, I got you to smile. Geez, I was starting to fucking think that you were really pissed at me," he stated, leaning his head against the back of the couch._

"_I _was_ pissed, asshat. Try being hung over and then ram your head into a solid oak table and see how good you fucking feel afterward. I guaran-fucking-tee you that you'd be whining like the little bitch you are."_

"_You really should learn how to talk to people," he grumbled with a roll of his eyes._

"_Oh, like you're so fucking peachy and inviting? Right…"_

"_Hey, Doll?"_

"_Yeah?" I answered with a heavy sigh, lolling my head over in his direction._

"_Shut up," he murmured with an arched brow as his face closed in on mine and our lips met._

_*End Flashback*_

Most people would say that the way we talked to each other was disrespectful and damn near emotionally abusive, but what the fuck ever; that was just how Edward and I worked. It was part of why we got along so well, and not only that, we knew that we were just bullshitting with each other. Fuck, it wasn't like it was a secret that we both had filthy mouths.

Needless to say, we made out like teenagers once again for close to an hour on my couch. Eventually, I'd had to put a stop to it because it reached a point where it was either strip ourselves of our clothing and fuck each other's brains out, or take the smart road and put the brakes on because, truth be told, we weren't ready for that yet. At least I wasn't.

Just like every other man, Edward had two heads and enough blood to only run one at a time. That left me to be the smart one—or stupid, depending on how you looked at it—and slow us down. Of course, he became irritable as his dick was hard as a rock, and for the second time in twenty-four hours, he'd been left with insufferable blue balls.

I desperately had the urge to take his cock into my mouth and give him the release he'd been craving, but I just wasn't that selfless—tonight, anyway—and well, my head still fucking hurt like a bitch…thanks to him.

It wasn't until six that evening that I'd finally managed to kick him out of my house. It wasn't that I was tired of him—I don't think that's even possible. But he'd told me that he had to make calls to his boss and at least check-up things regarding the rat. He'd also mentioned that he had a mountain of laundry that he had to get done.

Yeah, just imagine my shock when Edward Cullen, who upon our reunion weeks ago, smelled of the inside of a skunk's asshole, mentioned cleaning _anything!_

But that's when I learned that Edward was also one of the world's biggest procrastinators.

He spent hours at my house coming up with shit to do that just didn't make any fucking sense, like alphabetizing my movie collection and organizing my pantry in the order of the fucking food pyramid—don't ask. Anyhow, it was all out of effort to not leave and do the shit he needed to.

So as I said, at six, after a lengthy, searing kiss at my door, I'd literally kicked his ass out with promises to call him later that night.

It didn't take long after he left before I began to worry about whether making him leave was a smart move or not. Given his recent trouble with work, I feared how safe he really was at home.

He actually called me about thirty minutes later just to let me know that he'd made it back home. It brought a smile to my face, knowing that he'd finally accepted and let it sink in that someone cared about what happened to him.

So anyway, I spent nearly two hours after that searching through the classified section of the newspaper looking for jobs. Unfortunately, I had no luck in coming across something that revolved around a bakery or anything of the sort.

My lack of luck in finding work was beginning to stress me out. The money I had saved up would only get me by on bills and everyday things for so long; it wouldn't last forever. And I preferred to have some fucking money left that I could put into a savings account in the event an emergency situation came up.

The last damn thing I wanted to do was get to a point where I'd have to call Charlie to help me out financially. But that would be the story of my fucking life.

It was while I was in the kitchen trying to figure out what the fuck I wanted to eat that I received a text from Edward.

**Hey Doll, probably should've fucking brought this up earlier, but things aren't going to become weird with us, right? –EC**

**The hell are you on about?- BS**

**Well, we were fucking buzzed as hell last night, and then this morning…I just don't want to jump into whatever this is if you aren't ready. –EC**

His sudden skepticism and words put a bad feeling in my gut.

**If I wasn't ready, I would have told you, Eddie. Sounds like you're the one that isn't sure. –BS**

**That's not it, Bella. Fuck! See I told you I've been out of this dating shit for a long time.-EC**

**Dude, chill out. We're fine. If you feel uncomfortable with it, then tell me and we'll erase it and go back to how we were. Damn, are you drunk or high? What happened to the Edward that didn't give a fuck? –BS**

**I promise you, I'm not uncomfortable which, honestly, surprises the ever loving shit out of me- EC**

And without giving me so much as a second to let his words sink in, another message came through.

**And btw, you happened, Doll. –EC**

And that was the last I heard from him for the remainder of the night. He never said another word after that. He didn't elaborate or anything; he just left me to mull those three words over and over in my head.

Like I needed more shit to stress me out. I mean, I knew he wasn't being ugly, but this was Edward and with all he'd been through, I just wasn't clear on exactly what he meant for me to take from his words.

And as a clusterfuck of thoughts, feelings, and apprehension whirled around in my head, another text came through, only it wasn't from Edward.

It was from Rose, asking me if I could meet her at a twenty-four hour diner in Port Angeles. She didn't say why…just that she needed to talk to me.

Having nothing better to do, and needing a distraction from the mess surrounding Edward, I agreed to meet up with her in an hour. I knew that the conversation would most likely revolve around Edward, but being as I hadn't really heard her opinion on anything, I was curious as to how she felt in regards to everything.

But one thing was for certain, if one cross word was spoken against him, I would lose my fucking cool. Things had changed and now that we were…whatever the fuck we were…my protectiveness of him would be that much stronger.

***~C&B~***

After leaving me waiting nearly thirty minutes, Rose finally walked through the doors of the diner. I took a sip of my coffee, watching her from beneath my eyelashes as she approached the table.

"I am so sorry; the boys gave me hell when I went to leave. Have you been waiting long?" she asked with an apologetic look upon her face as she set her purse down in the booth before sliding in.

"Only about thirty minutes but don't worry about it," I told her, mustering up a smile.

"Shit, sorry."

"It's okay, really," I replied, smiling over the brim of my cup while she scratched at her head irritably. "So what's up?"

"I just…I haven't really had the chance to talk to you about Edward, the family and stuff. I'm always so fucking busy with the kids that I hardly have time to think."

"Rose, no offense, but if you plan to try and talk me into turning my back on him or are planning to bash him then you're wasting my time, and I just asoon go home."

"No, that's not it, I swear," she exclaimed as she reached across the table and placed her hand over mine. "Thank God that he finally has someone in his corner that's willing to stand up for him. I wanted to be that person for so long, Bella, but with Emmett, there just wasn't any way. I had to turn my back to keep the peace in our small family. I have never said a cross word to him."

"If that's so, why isn't he allowed to see the boys? Why did you guys quit helping him out when he needed it? Couldn't you have helped him on the down low without Emmett finding out?"

"It's honestly not him I have to worry about. I mean, I have to keep the peace, as I said, with him, but Carlisle is the one to watch for. He keeps tabs on all of us and if he catches any of us attempting to associate with or help Edward in anyway, all hell breaks loose."

"So why'd you meet with me? I can't…"

"His birthday is tomorrow, Bella," she interrupted, giving me a serious look. "I wanted you to know so that maybe you could do something for him. I know for a fact that the past few have been excruciating for him as no one fucking acknowledges it. It pisses me off because that's just not how I was raised. Family is family and it's just unfair. Edward's an addict and he has a serious problem, but he's been to hell and back and hell again, and the shit they put him through significantly made it worse. I truly believe that if they'd stepped up to the plate when everything with that stupid bitch happened , he never would've gotten to where he is now. Bella, he was like my little brother back then and that'll never change. But there's nothing I can do to change that, but you can."

"Rose, why…no, scratch that. Let me get this straight; you want to help and be there for Edward, yet you won't because of Emmett and Carlisle? Has Carlisle threatened you? I mean, what the fuck does this asshole have on all of you that makes you so afraid to go against him? I don't understand it."

Rose closed her eyes and ran a hand through her hair as she shook her head. "It's not that I'm afraid of him, but it's more that he's been the head of this family, and he and Alice have completely brainwashed everyone into believing Edward is trash and a disgrace to the family. They say he's no longer a Cullen and they act as though he doesn't exist half of the time. Esme and I have talked about it before, and while we have the same concerns and feelings toward Edward, she refuses to go against her husband. Just as I can't go against mine. I can't break my family apart, Bella, and supporting Edward would do just that."

I took in a deep breath as I scrubbed my hands over my face. "You and Esme are both completely missing the fucking point, Rose. You claim to care about him so much and talk about how wrong you think all of this shit is, and you justify your actions by the desire of not breaking your family apart. Yet, you already fucking have. Edward was—is—part of your family. This family is already broken and he's the one paying the price. All of you are so fucking scared of Carlisle, but where the hell is the consideration for Edward? None of you found it odd that even after Edward had been proven innocent, Carlisle and Alice still went after him with guns blazing? Neither one of you are any better than they are, and this plea for me to believe that you actually care about Edward is complete bullshit. You aren't fooling anyone, Rose," I spat as I quickly grabbed my purse and stood.

"We're done here, and do me a favor," I told her, watching as tears streaked down her pathetic face. "Lose my fucking number."

***~C&B~***

When I woke the next morning, I still hadn't heard from Edward, and thank fuck there wasn't any messages from Rose. But there was one thing on my mind.

His birthday.

It was today, and I was the only one he had in his life that actually fucking cared. Edward received shit from everyone and the way he viewed himself reflected that. I wanted to change it; make him actually feel special and wanted for once.

I already had a gift for him. Something only he and I would understand. Something between us from years ago. So that just left me with the task of finding the perfect birthday card and baking him a cake.

It's amazing to think that even with all the years that had passed, I still remembered his favorite cake. Upside Down Pineapple cake. All I needed to do was make a quick trip to the grocery store and then within the time frame of an hour and a half to two hours, I'd have it all done and be ready to head to his house.

I knew he didn't have work today and although I hadn't talked to him, I didn't think he would mind my stopping by unannounced. I thought we'd become close enough, and that he'd learned to trust me enough, to know that I had no ulterior motives against him.

That, and if I was being completely honest, I missed him. Fuck, I missed kissing him; I could still taste him on my lips. The last time I'd felt anything like that was long ago and the euphoria had fastly transformed to hate due to Jake and his asshole nature.

Speaking of, I couldn't fucking believe that I'd actually come clean with Edward. Well, maybe come clean was a bad spin to put on it as I hadn't exactly lied about anything. Nevertheless, although I hadn't given him all the details of that bullshit night, I'd given him enough and the ease at which I told him knocked me for six. He was the only one outside of Jake and that prick, Paul, who actually knew about it. Most would say that when you're raped in the fucked up way I was, that you should go to the police…but being that my situation was extremely complicated and a total mindfuck, I left it alone. Had I have said anything, Jake would have had Charlie killed with me watching just because he was sick bastard and then he would have killed me. I guess you could say though that at that point in my life, I really didn't give a fuck whether I lived or died. My silence was for Charlie.

I suppose Edward will eventually ask for the full story, but I sure as hell won't volunteer and bring it up. I guess the only reason I actually told him was because I didn't want to lie to him, or have him assume that he'd hurt or offended me in anyway. I wanted him to know how I felt.

I could admit that now. Crazy how things change so quick—and drastically. Blame my horny, lonesome alter-ego, Bambi. Yeah, it's fucking cheesy and screams whore, but come on, ladies; you know what I'm talking about because we all have one. That loud, whiny bitch inside of us that remains silent, letting all the sexual tension—or lack thereof—build up until they just can't take it anymore and explodes. That's pretty much what happened. Bambi went psycho and, while I would have mauled him eventually anyway, she saw Edward, felt him on my skin, and she fucking took over. Thankfully, I'd come to before she landed me in a serious fucking mess, which would have been fucking Edward's fuckhot brains out.

Enough of that, I've already said more than I should have. Guess I can blame the bitch for diarrhea of the fucking mouth too.

***~C&B~***

I don't know why, but my nerves were completely frazzled as I drove toward Edward's house. Bambi was of course squealing with excitement in my head, spread eagle.

I'd yet to talk to him. No texts, emails or phone calls. I didn't really think anything of it. I just hoped that he wasn't standoffish when I showed with a fucking cake and gift.

Although, I can say that my phone hadn't been completely silent. I'd received a few unpleasant texts from Emmett regarding my meeting with Rose last night. I couldn't have cared less that he was pissed. I was done playing mediator. I saw them for what they were and I was now focusing all my energy on Edward, and getting settled. Concentrating on getting my ass out there and actually finding a fucking job.

As I pulled into the drive, I saw Edward's Volvo parked haphazardly as always, but he wasn't home alone. There was an old, white van also parked, the rear end backed up to the porch. I hadn't the slightest fucking clue who was here with him, but I wasn't letting it stop me.

Old habits die hard.

After grabbing hold of all my shit—that being the cake, gift, card, purse and cigs—I stumbled across his gravel drive and up onto the porch. I could hear shouting inside, but it wasn't from any voice I recognized. I knocked a few times and waited a couple of minutes before some douchebag opened the door. I knew his type instantly, and immediately I was overcome with regret for having showed up. This was someone he worked with. I could tell upon sight of his greasy ass blonde hair, rotting teeth, and the scars on his face and arms that he was a junkie.

What was fucking with my head was the fact that there were blood splatters all over him. Of course, my thoughts instantly went to Edward and the shouting I'd heard before.

"Well, well…what the fuck do we have here? Edward didn't say he'd invited entertainment," the asshole purred, making my stomach turn.

"Fuck you. Where's Edward?"

"He's a little…busy. Who might you be?"

"That's none of your fucking business," I growled, narrowing my eyes as I pushed roughly past him and into Edward's kitchen to set down my armful of shit.

I took a quick glance around and saw no trace of Edward, but quickly noticed the glock .40 sitting on the island.

"See, Edward never mentioned having a girlfriend, which means you're his fucking whore. Considering I haven't seen the fucker so much as speak to woman since I've known him, that means you must be fucking good," he breathed, pinning me against the counter, his arms outstretched on either side of me and his body pressing into my back.

My next move either made me really fucking stupid, or bad ass; I'm not sure which.

I threw my head back, feeling his nose give way under the force of my blow.

"Fuck you!" I roared, shoving him backwards. "You have no idea who you're fucking with, asshole. He'll have your balls for this."

"You bitch!" he yelled, lunging at me and catching a chunk of my hair in his hand. Why did I have to have a fucking aversion to ponytails?

Before I could blink, he'd taken hold of my wrist and as he attempted to twist it behind my back, I mustered up what strength I had and brought his arm to my mouth, sinking my teeth into his hand where it was gripping me. He howled in pain and as he started to come after me, murder in his eyes, an arm came out of nowhere and wrapped around my stomach, hauling me backwards. It was only after the dickhead stopped in his tracks that I noticed the gun from the island was gone and now pointing at him.

"You stay right the fuck there, Harrison."

The voice caused me whip my head around. The rage in Edward's eyes was unlike anything I'd seen before. But just knowing he was defending me put a smile on my face.

"The bitch fucking bit me!"

"And you deserved it. I swear to God, you fucking move or attempt to come near her and I'll put every one of these bullets in you. We clear?"

"You aren't brave enough."

"Try me," he whispered before tightening his arm around me and jerking me outside, slamming his door behind him.

"What a fucking douchebag…I don't know h…"

"What the _fuck _are you doing here?" he yelled whipping around and fixing his furious glare on me. It was then that I realized he'd also somehow grabbed my purse as it lay at my feet. And he too was covered in blood.

"Edward, who's blood is that?"

"Did you not see that I had fucking company? Christ, what the fuck were you thinking showing up here unannounced?! Do you have any idea the shit I'm about to have to deal with because of your little stunt in there?"

Edward was still yelling and I was so blown away, hurt and pissed at the bullshit he was spewing that I wasn't even sure where to start.

"Hold on a fucking second," I told him in a nearly inaudible voice. "You're blaming the shit that happened in there on _me_?" I questioned, receiving nothing but a glare in return. "_Fuck you! _What was I thinking? Let's see, I was thinking that we had become friends…had an understanding, thought that maybe you had actually learned to trust me. Obviously I was fucking wrong. For fuck's sake, Edward, you know about the bullshit I went through and now you're going to fucking turn around and pull this shit? Last night, I told you about something I'd never so much as breathed a word of to anyone else, and then, I was actually foolish enough to believe you cared about me."

"You're just like them. I try to protect you and you turn the shit around of me. Fucking perfect!" he screamed, turning his back.

Swallowing down how much that first statement hurt, I took the few steps toward him and took hold of his arm, forcing him to face me. Once his green eyes blazed down into mine, I released him. "Go to hell. For you to even attempt to put me in the same category as your fucked up family is low. You and I both know I'm _nothing _like them. And if this is what you call protecting, I don't want any fucking part of it. You just blamed me for some greased up junkie attacking me in _your _house. Maybe I did show up with no warning, but how the fuck was I to know that you had company? I wasn't aware that I had to run it by you every fucking time I wanted to say hi. Especially after last night. But instead of asking if I'm okay, or checking to see if that piece of shit hurt me in there, you're throwing me out as though I'm nothing more than trash. Bros before hoes, right?" I questioned, unable to stop the traitorous tears that leaked from the corners of my eyes.

He watched me, seemingly remorseful for a moment, showing me just a glimpse of the Edward I'd come to know since moving here. But then he clutched at his hair and flexed his jaw.

"Newsflash, asshole; I've fucking been through this shit once, I won't do it again." I leaned over, grabbed my purse and angrily ran to my truck, furiously wiping at the tears.

"Bella…" he said from behind me, his voice lined with pain and frustration. I hadn't even realized the fucker had followed me.

"I climbed in and slammed the door, started the truck and listened as it roared to life. "Oh, you never gave me a fucking chance to say anything before you ripped me apart, but happy birthday, Edward."

I watched as his eyes widened for a second before his faced twisted in agony; probably at the realization of how badly he'd just fucked up.

And without giving him a chance to say another word, I slammed on the gas and peeled out of his fucking drive, not even bothering this time to check in my rearview mirror to see whether he watched me leave.

Edward Cullen had just reminded of exactly why I needed to get away and focus on myself.

Only difference was…now…I was doing it with a broken heart.

**Okay, *dodges flying objects* I know it probably isn't what most had hoped for but life is definitely not butterflies and rainbows for these two. I apologize for the gap in between updates but a lot has happened in the span of a month for me in RL and none has been good. I'm dealing tho.**

**I've also been hard at work at two other projects. One is for the Tales from the Void contest (can't say anything other than go read, it's amazing!) **

**The second project is a futuretake for Crash & Burn. I'm submitting the what led up to the prologue and the aftermath to a great cause for an amazing friend and reader, Katalina Roseph. She has fought a truly inspiring battle against cancer and a bunch of us authors, betas, and banner makers in the fandom have joined together to raise money. **

**Once the compilation is finished, it will be mailed out to all that have contributed whether it be by monetary donation, writing, etc. **

**Keep in mind there will be several chapters that I will post until I'm able to post the pieces I'm contributing which is in January, but if you would like to get a special look at it and the other amazing contributions from other authors, please visit www dot katalina dot fandomcause dot info**

**And as always, leave me some love and let me know what you think!**


	21. Chapter 20

**So here we go! Also, I'll warn you that this chapter hasn't been beta'ed yet, so please excuse any and all mistakes.**

**See you all at the bottom!**

**EPOV**

Dust billowed around me as I watched her beat-up old truck peel out of my driveway, the gravel crunching beneath its tires. This was the worst fucking thing that could possibly happen, and because someone up there has it in for me, it just _had _to happen on my fucking birthday.

Of all days, it had to be this one.

I knew I'd fucked up and that I had been harsh, inconsiderate, and a complete asshole to Bella, the only fucking person in this world that gave a shit about me. But in my defense—and a weak one at that—there was no other way really for me to have gone about it.

I had to get rid of her, get her off of my fucking property, and fast. So I did it in the only way I knew how. It was bad enough that James had seen her fucking face, but he now also knew she meant something to me. That was the worst possible thing that could have happened because all he had to do now was find out her name and he'd report it to Aro. Do I really need to explain why that would be catastrophically bad?

Didn't think so.

She'd asked about the blood that covered my shirt and my hands, and because I couldn't answer her with dickwad here, I had to divert and change the subject. I fucking hated myself for having gone off on her the way I had, and then for her to leave with the whole 'happy birthday' thing, I felt like the biggest piece of shit on the face of the earth. And rightfully so.

I had hoped on seeing her today—hell, I hoped for that the minute I left her place last night—but about an hour after I'd returned home, Harrison had called and informed me of the new job order. One that I couldn't turn down. What I should have done was call or text her to make her aware that I would be busy today, but before I could do even that, Harrison had shown up at fucking eight o'clock this morning.

I'd made myself so fucking sick that all I could think about was getting Harrison and the dumbass rat, Newton, out of my fucking basement. I needed a fix, I needed a drink, and I desperately needed to call Bella.

But I knew there was no way it would be that fucking easy for me. Harrison was going to interrogate my ass the minute I walked back inside, and I knew that Aro would have words for me if I didn't follow through on the orders regarding Newton.

What sucked the most was that it was all being done in my damned house, and if his body were ever recovered, any evidence found, I would be targeted as the prime suspect. Yeah, I may be jumping the gun, but offing someone wasn't something I was comfortable with and every time Aro had ordered me to do it, I was in a state of paranoia and self-loathing for weeks after.

What blew my fucking mind was that, before Bella came back into my life, I was actually okay with my lifestyle. I didn't give a shit about myself or the people I hurt, I didn't give a second thought to the fact that my family cared nothing about me. I had just learned to accept that that was how my life was. Kind of like, 'I made my bed, and I had to fucking lay in it', type of thing. But now…nothing was the same.

I found myself not wanting this life anymore. Just that small glimpse of being with Bella last night had my mind everywhere, and my dick craving her. When I was with her, I didn't feel like the low life I truly was; I felt as though I actually belonged somewhere.

And I just blew that all to shit.

"Cullen, get your ass in here! We have a job to fucking finish!" James yelled from behind me.

I whipped around and fixed him with my best 'don't fuck with me' glare. "For future reference, if ever you are here and someone comes to my door, don't answer it. And if you fucking dare to and the person is a woman, you don't fucking touch her. Is that understood?"

"You really think I'm going to take orders from your dumbass? Cullen, you won't do shit because me and the rest of the crew know that you're fucking scared shitless of Aro. You know that if you ever crossed any of us he'd put a hit out on you, and he wouldn't lose so much as a second of sleep over it. I'm untouchable…"

"Don't be so sure of that, Harrison. Think about it. If Aro thinks so little of me, why is it that he picked me to do away with Newton, huh? He doesn't fucking trust your ass. The only damn reason you're here is to help with the cleanup and disposal."

"Who the fuck is she to you, anyway?" he mused. "I've known you for two fucking years and this is the first time I've seen you touch or so much as talk to a woman. And now, you're fucking pointing a gun at me? You're lucky I didn't knock you in fucking teeth for that shit!"

"It's none of your fucking business who she is. I got rid of her, okay? Let's go finish this shit so I can get you and that fucking loser out of my damned house."

"I think I'll stay; it's been a while since we hung and shot the shit," he replied, pushing just a little harder, knowing I was about to blow my fucking top.

"First off, we've _never _hung and shot anything. Second, shut the fuck up," I gritted out, running my blood stained hands through my unruly hair.

"Or what?" he bellowed, his eyes angry and he came towards me. Harrison was purposely fucking provoking me and, at the moment, that was the stupidest thing he could have done.

Fuck it.

I lunged at him, balling his shirt in my hands and slamming him as hard as I could against the wall beside my front door. Nose to nose, my eyes blazed at him with murderous intent. He started to try and fight against me but it was pointless, as I wasn't fucking moving. Then he spit at me and started to laugh.

Big fucking mistake.

I threw my head forward with as much force as I could muster, head-butting him and breaking his nose in the fucking process.

"I've had enough of your shit. I don't give a fuck who you are; you don't threaten me or anyone that happens to show up. Run, tell Aro, see if I give a damn. Tell him I'll deal with Newton on my fucking own. And if I so much as see you on my fucking street, you better run because I'm done putting up with sorry ass," I growled, making sure he knew that I wasn't fucking around. "Now, Get. The. Fuck. Out."

With that said, I opened the front door with one hand and then tossed his ass out on my porch, and stood watch to make sure his dumb ass left my property. Without fucking up my car or anything else.

Thankfully, he made the smart choice and simply flipped me the fucking bird—oh, I'm hurt—before climbing in his piece of shit van and pulling out of my drive.

I knew that what I'd done was going to put me in deep shit with Aro, but at this point, I didn't fucking care. Because of them, I'd jeopardized the only fucking person that seemed to give two shits about me.

My priority right now was to fix my fuck up with Bella, but before I could do that, I had a big fucking problem down in my basement to take care of.

***~C&B~***

Hours had passed since I'd royally fucked up things with Bella, and I'd yet to hear from her; not that I expected her to text or call my sorry ass anytime soon.

I hadn't offed Newton, as Aro told me to. Instead, I drove way out to bum fuck nowhere and stranded his ass. He had no phone, no food, no water….nothing. I knew he'd made it back to town eventually and that he would talk, but I had had a big fucking talk with him in the car. Call me fucking stupid, but Aro was doing nothing in regards to really finding out exactly who was behind this. He had expected Harrison and I to be his bitches and pull the information from Newton, when in all actuality, it could have been solved easily by him growing a fucking set of balls and going down to their warehouse himself. But of course, Aro being Aro, that would never fucking happen.

I had another plan. One which would either give Aro reason to kill me, or it would be the best fucking move I made. I managed to convince Newton that I was on his side. I even told him that I would consider trading information to him if he could find a way to get Aro off of my fucking back. Even if it didn't work, it was too fucking late to change my mind.

Which once again brought Bella to the forefront of my thoughts. Right about now would have been the time that I would have called her about my going over for dinner.

Couldn't do that now. Go over, I mean.

I had tried calling her twice already though and both times the ringing just went on and on until voicemail picked up. I wasn't opposed to leaving her a message, I just preferred dealing with this on the phone, or face to face. Not through a fucking message.

And to be honest—this may make me into an even bigger asshole—the situation also kind of pissed me off.

While she was right in how she felt—I wasn't going to argue that—she also knew how things in this lifestyle operated. She knew the shit that went on when it came to betrayals. So I was really fucking confused on what the hell was going through Bella's mind when she decided to just show up to my house. And I was even more dumbfounded that she even went so far as to come to my fucking door after having seen the unknown van outside.

It didn't stop there either. She walked inside after meeting Harrison and seeing his blood stained clothing, an d I knew that she got a good read on him. What didn't make sense is why the fuck she would ever think that I would be okay with her getting involved in that side of my life. I wanted to protect her from that shit, not get her involved and back on drugs.

Yeah, I guess maybe her not answering her phone tonight was a good thing, huh?

With my head a jumbled, agonized mess, I made my way to the kitchen and opened the freezer to grab the Crown for a drink. Not even bothering to grab the coke or anything, I twisted the lid off and took a swallow, groaning in pleasure with the sweet burn of the liquor on my throat.

It was as I stood drinking, my mind distant, that I noticed a plastic Tupperware cake container, a gift wrapped package, and a red envelope all sitting together on the island. And I could see from the elegant handwriting on the envelope that it had come from Bella.

My head dropped in shame and my heart clenched and my stomach cramped. She hadn't just come to tell me happy birthday; she actually bought me something and baked me a fucking cake.

I was officially the biggest fucking douche in the state of Washington.

And because I'm a curious bastard, I lifted the lid of the container to find my….how the fuck did she know? She couldn't possibly have remembered that after all of these years, and I knew for a fucking fact that she hadn't asked anyone in the family.

I quickly shut it and knocked back another large swallow of Crown before dialing her number on my phone once more.

Still no fucking answer.

Yet, minutes later, it beeped with the alert of a text.

**Quit fucking calling me. –BS**

And suddenly, I need a fix unlike I ever had before.

I was on a mission tonight.

To get as fucked up as I possibly could…

And fast.

**BPOV**

It's been four days since Edward wigged the fuck out on me, and two since he started tailing me and watching my every move. He thinks I don't know; that I don't see him, but I caught on the minute he started. I knew that mop of hair and that Volvo like the back of my hand.

He'd taken to sleeping in his car at night in front of my house. Although, I'm sure he wasn't sleeping; he was watching me. Protecting me. From what, I wasn't sure.

The phone calls and texts from Edward had gotten so out of hand that I finally just turned it off last night, and I hadn't touched it since. I'd heard way too many sorries and pleas for me to talk to him, and the more I heard, the harder it became to stave him off.

Did I miss him?

Fuck yes. So much it made me sick just thinking about it.

Had I forgiven him?

Of course I had, but I needed to stand up for myself. Not that Edward was _anything _like Jake—because he wasn't—the way he had talked to and treated me that day reminded me of him and all the reasons my love had morphed to hate. I admit that, having lived the life, I should have known better to have just shown up unannounced, but given how well the night before had gone and the fact that it was his fucking birthday, I really didn't think anything of it. Now I knew not to make the same mistake again.

Anyway, guilt and experience aside, I couldn't just blow it off and welcome him with open arms as if nothing had happened. He had to know that he couldn't treat me that way. That I wouldn't stand for that shit.

So, I'd spent the better half of today putting in applications at various places in Port Angeles and Forks, and was now on my way to pick up a few groceries. Charlie had called yesterday afternoon and was planning on coming for a visit this weekend, which was in four days. I hadn't spoken a word of the animosity between Edward and I; I just told him the good stuff, the things that had happened before it went to hell.

Going to the grocery store would be an experience in that it would be interesting to see if Edward actually got out of his fucking car to follow me around inside.

Fuck, if that were the case, I would be forced to put an end to this whole charade. I didn't exactly take lightly to being stalked. No matter who the fuck it was.

*~C&B~*

To my surprise, Edward didn't follow me in. I know because I watched him place a note under one of the wiper blades on my truck before driving off. And he actually looked more haggard than the day I first reunited with him.

It was either that or my mind was making up shit due to how much I actually missed being around him. The two empty bottles of Jack in my bedroom trash can were proof enough of that.

After getting all I needed from the store, I made my way back to my truck, my eyes glued to the folded piece of paper that flapped against my windshield with the soft breeze.

I hurriedly tossed my three bags into the cab of the truck, grabbed the note, and sped home. There was no way I was going to read it before or while driving in the case it made me emotional. This meant that he really was desperate to be heard, and I fucking wanted to hear him. I just hoped it wasn't more bullshit.

Once I got home, I spotted his car parked down the street and scoffed.

_Fucking seriously?_

I pretended as if I didn't see anything, and hauled my bags inside. Just the anticipation of reading whatever the letter contained left me feeling as though I had a weight in my pocket, which was where I'd put it.

One thing was for damn sure…

I needed a fucking cigarette and a drink in my hand before I even thought about opening that shit.

So, nearly thirty minutes later, I found myself sitting on my back patio, not wanting him to see me out front and take the opportunity to ambush me. After taking a large gulp from my obscenely strong cocktail, I reached into my pocket and pull out the folded paper.

_Doll,_

_I don't know what else to do as you won't take my calls or answer any texts. Let me just make it clear that you have every right to be pissed at me. _

_I need you to know that I'm sorry, Bella. I want to tell you about me, about the past couple of years, but I can't do so through a letter or a phone call. I've come to realize some things about myself in the past few days and I owe you an explanation._

_We need to talk, Doll. _

_Please, even if afterward you decide you're better off without me in your life, just give me this. Let me explain myself to you and try to make things right. You've become too important to me, and I honestly don't know what I'd do if I lost you. _

_I miss you._

_Edward_

Damn him.

I was doing fine until the very end. He just had to get all fucking sappy on me and now I had watery eyes. Sometimes I truly hate being a woman.

Edward wanted to have _the _talk with me. He was ready to confide in me about all he'd been through and what had actually happened to him.

I was torn. I wanted to be happy about it, but I only felt an overwhelming sense of guilt. Like he was only going to tell me because he believed it was the only way I'd let him back in. The other part of me thought he was right when he said he owed it to me. It was his choice regardless, but the biggest decision I was now being faced with was whether I wanted to do it tonight or give it another day.

Either way, there was no way I wasn't going to hear him out.

In the end, I found myself picking up my phone and scrolling through my contacts to his name. My heart was deciding for me. It was then that I let my heart take hold and tapped out a text to him.

**Be here in an hour.—BS**

I said an hour because truth be told, I needed to pick up the house a bit and could use a little time to get my head together. I knew that his story was not going to be an easy one to hear, and given my emotions over the last day or so, it was sure to drain me. And him.

**Are you sure?—EC**

I rolled my eyes at the question. He should have known that by now, I don't say something unless I'm sure about it.

**You want to do this or not, Cullen?—BS**

**I'll be there. Oh, and Bella?—EC**

**What?—BS**

**Thank you.—EC**

I quickly rose from my seat on the patio and headed inside, setting my phone on the counter. The kitchen was a mess and smelled of B.O., also known as the onions which I'd chopped for my pot roast last night. Lord only knew when the last time he actually ate was, so I took it upon myself to warm up some leftovers in the oven while I cleaned.

First things first, throw the fucking trash out and light some damn candles.

Second, pick up the burial ground of dirty laundry that had become my living room and bedroom.

Third, put on something that will make him realize what he'd been missing out on for the past four days, and wish he'd never fucked up.

**Well, what did you think? The next chapter is in the works and should be up sometime next week. For those reading Break Even, that also will be updating next week sometime. Slowly but surely, things are starting to get back on track. Thank you all for sticking with me!**

**HAPPY HALLOWEEN to all of you lovelies and a special happy birthday to my amazing friend, Born OnHalloween!**

**As always, leave me some love!**

**T**


	22. Chapter 21

**Here's the chapter you've all been waiting for so without further ado...**

**BPOV**

First thing tomorrow morning, I was going fucking shopping. Little did I realize that after planning to put on something sinful for Edward, everything I had that fell under that category was pajamas.

Seriously? What the fuck? Had it really been that long since I'd wanted to make a man fall to his knees?

I finally gave up and settled on some silk pajama pants and a regular tank top. Wasn't the worst of my pajamas, but it certainly wasn't the best. Given what had happened the last time I wore sexy pajamas, and considering the situation we were in at the moment, I decided against making him hot and bothered.

Sue me.

Was I nervous about the fact that he would be here any second now?

Hell yes I was.

I didn't know what was going to come from this, nor what I would do if it turned out badly in the end.

I pulled my ponytail loose as I hurriedly went to the kitchen, needing some liquid encouragement and a bit of nicotine.

About halfway through that first, wonderful drag, my doorbell rang and my heart stopped.

This was it.

I inhaled damn near all the way to the front door, releasing the breath as I turned the knob.

There he stood, looking more haggard than he had appeared to be earlier in the rearview mirror of my truck. His scruff had grown out, and his hair showed that he most likely hadn't showered since I last saw him. I would hope for his sake that he did at least _that _night because, seriously? Fucking ew.

I looked him over, making sure my face revealed nothing. Edward then took a quick step towards me, his arms outstretched as though he wanted to hug me. As he did so, I stepped back and arched a brow in warning, meeting his eyes for the first time.

I could plainly see the remorse and devastation in his eyes. Where I had placed a mask, his was torn down, leaving him bare.

"You look good," he rasped quietly, swallowing as I watched his adam's apple bob.

"You look like shit," I replied, moving aside and taking his hand in mine to pull him inside, letting him know that he was welcomed in. "So, have been sitting in your car down the road all this time?"

His head, which hung in guilt, shot back up with his eyes wide. Just as I knew it would, the question caught him off guard. He closed his eyes tightly for a minute before shaking his head. "How long have you known?" he whispered in anguish.

"Pretty much since the get go. Kind of hard to miss the Volvo with your mop of hair behind the wheel. Why?"

"I was desperate. I needed to see how you were and make sure you were safe. You weren't answering my calls, texts, or anything."

"Can you blame me?" I questioned in a higher register.

"Bella, I'm sorry," he pleaded, taking a step closer to me. I could see that he meant it, but as selfish as it was, the whole purpose of letting him into my house tonight was to hear his story. "I know how I acted was fucking horrible, I just hope you can believe me."

"Edward, I believe that you're sorry and you feel bad, but what does that do for me? It fucking hurt, and when I left Louisiana, I promised myself and Charlie that I wasn't going to let another guy talk to or treat me like the dirt beneath his feet. Yet, that's exactly what you did."

"I know," he groaned. "Doll, the _only _reason I said those things and acted so harshly was because I was trying to protect you. I went about it all wrong, but I swear it was with good intentions. I'm not making excuses, but I wasn't fucking expecting that and I was caught off guard. The douche that answered my door and attacked you, he…"

"I'm no stranger to his kind, Edward. In the back of my mind, I knew what you were trying to do, but…"

"But it didn't stop my words from slicing through you?" he asked, his voice sullen.

I couldn't respond. I simply nodded. I could feel my guard beginning to slip and my eyes start to water.

"Something like that," I softly answered, a slight quiver in my voice. I knew he'd picked up on the shift in my emotions, so to avoid his calculating gaze, I turned and walked into the kitchen to light a cigarette.

Before I could put the flame of the lighter to the tip of the stick, his hand softly caught my wrist from behind me.

"You don't have to be so strong all the time, Bella," he murmured into my hair. I was already reduced to a weak, emotional mess and couldn't bring myself to pull away. "It's okay to cry."

With a heavy, defeated sigh, I turned to face him as I let the tears that had welled up fall from my eyes.

But looking into his eyes brought my shield right back up. "Yeah, actually, Edward, I do. Because it's when I'm weak and vulnerable that I wind up in trouble and hurt."

"And there it is...why does everything always lead back to that?" he questioned.

"What are you talking about?" I glared.

"I know I have trust issues, Bella, but I'm starting to believe that I'm not the only one. You don't fucking trust me either."

"Don't you _dare _turn this around on me," I whispered. "Can you fucking blame me for not knowing whether to trust you or not considering the way I was thrown out like trash last week?! Jesus, Edward! I did trust you! For fuck's sake…I let you in on a part of my life that even Charlie doesn't know everything about. And what's worse, I let you into my heart," I told him as he tucked his chin to his chest.

"Despite everything and the fact that you have no reason to believe me, Doll…I let you in to mine, too. And to be honest, that's something I never thought I'd do again, which is exactly why I think you should, and deserve, to know the truth about my past."

"Edward, are you positive that you're ready to do that? Don't get me wrong, I _want _to hear…"

"Doll, I don't think it fucking matters whether I'm ready or not because truth is, I don't think I ever will be. I just, I hurt you. As I said before, I owe it to you to give you the choice of whether you want to be with me or not…and the only way to do that fairly is to tell you everything there is to know. I don't want to hide anything from you, Bella."

I couldn't help myself, I raised my hand up to palm his scruff covered cheek. "Is it really that bad? So bad that you honestly believe me knowing the truth would turn me away from you?"

He pulled my hand from his face gently and pressed a kiss to my palm. "Why don't we get a drink and then sit at the table, hmm?"

There was no need for him to explain his odd choice of the kitchen table for discussion, considering that the last time we'd sat on the couch, we'd dry humped the fuck out of each other and then the bed…well, that was a big risk that neither of us were willing to take right now.

I could say that since having come inside, Edward had been shockingly open and honest about everything…especially about his feelings for me. That surprised me more than anything.

"Edward, if you're hungry and want to eat before we talk, I…um…I warmed up some pot roast in the oven."

His eyes narrowed with a sad smile. "Even after the way I treated you, you still cooked for me?"

"Not_ for _you. I just warmed some up from earlier. I've seen your eating habits at home, Edward. Your diet consists of Little Debbie snack cakes, soft drinks, and liquor. That and your appearance the last fews days is horrible. You needed a good, hot meal and I'm not that cold hearted. _Fuck_!" I shouted. "Why am I explaining myself? Sit the fuck down and eat, Cullen."

He actually chuckled at that. "There's the Doll I'm used to. Thank you, but if you don't mind, I think I'd rather get this all out first; it's going to take a while."

"Are you sure?" I asked again, pausing midway to the oven.

"Positive."

As he nodded his head in more assurance, I went to making him a drink and me a glass of water because, let's face it, I'd had enough alcohol as it was tonight. The last thing I wanted was to be drunk or caught with a heavy buzz during the telling of his story.

Once we sat down, Edward stared down into his glass unwaveringly for a moment, his fingers drawing patterns against the sides.

"Edward, it's okay. Even though it's hard for you to swallow right now, there's nothing you can possibly tell me tonight that will turn me away."

"Can you tell me what you already know?"

"All I know is what Alice and Emmett have told me, which really isn't much. Most of it was bullshit, and I don't need you to tell me otherwise. But they told me about Kate, and how you were so happy when the practice first opened. A lot of it was common sense, it's just everything else that I don't know."

"They actually fucking brought Kate up to you? How?"

"Edward, don't be so surprised. Alice has been out to get me away from you since day one. They told me that she was a great girl…perfect for you. That you were engaged and then…well…I'm sure you can guess the bullshit they spewed after."

He took in a deep, aggravated breath as he drug his hand through his hair in frustration. "I had it all, Doll. Or so I thought. I was living my dream. Working side by side with Dad, and in a great relationship with a beautiful girl. Never in a million fucking years did I ever see things playing out as they have. Everything was great back then, but all it took was a few days for it all to fall apart. What they told you was true, at least some of it. Alice introduced me to Kate, and considering how close I was to Alice then, I trusted her judgment. Fuck, this part of it is going to be weird talking to you about…Doll, want me to skip over it?"

"Just tell me, Edward. I'm a big girl, after all…I did tell you about Jake."

"Corny and cheesy as it sounds, when I first saw Kate…my heart stopped. I was fucking gone, Bella. We went out on a date the night we met and I just knew that there would never be another woman for me. The feelings were that strong. She was beautiful, smart, funny…everything any man could ask for. So yeah, months later I asked her to marry me. And at that time in my life, Bella, I was the happiest I'd ever fucking been. Nothing could stop me. It wasn't long after becoming engaged that things started to change," he said quietly looking out the window next to the table. "She started to become distant. I would come home from work and instead of wanting to spend time with me or make love, she would claim she was tired or that she had somewhere to be. I put up with it probably longer than I should have, but eventually, I couldn't take it anymore. Our issues were starting to affect my work. As with most cases, Kate and I began fighting. And they increased in frequency fucking fast. About two months after all of that started, I began noticing that she was acting strange. Her hygiene was going to hell, which was alarming because Kate was fucking obsessed with her appearance; she never had a hair out of place. She was also becoming forgetful about a lot of things, her attitude was off, and she acted as though she couldn't stand the sight of me. My heart started breaking little by little every day, Bella. The happily ever after I'd once fucking dreamed off was slipping through my fingers, and there wasn't shit I could do about it. Then one night, I came home from work to find her passed the fuck out in bed. It was on my way to the kitchen that night that I noticed a couple of pill bottles opened in our bathroom. Now, of course, we both had our own prescription medication that we took regularly, but these bottles had a different label than our usual pharmacy. When I checked them, it turned out that they were Oxycontin and Clonazepam. She had no fucking reason to be on either one of those…that I knew of anyway. What both confused and killed me at the same time was that it was _my _name that was on the label…_my _name listed as her prescriber. Bella, I swear on everything that I never fucking prescribed her that shit."

"Edward, you…" I started to say, but he interrupted me after a large gulp from his drink.

"If anything, the medications explained her change of behavior, but what I didn't understand is why she was suddenly sabotaging me and our relationship. In attempt to figure out how she'd managed to get the meds prescribed by me, I tore my office at the practice apart one night and found that not one, but two of my script pads were missing. I was angry, confused, hurt…fuck, Doll, you name it and I probably felt it that night. But at the same time, I wanted to try and fix my relationship with her because I loved her too fucking much not to give it my all. So, I headed home that night, fully set on asking her for an explanation and listening with my whole heart, but when I walked through the door of our apartment…I…" Edward's voice cracked with emotion and, for the first time since I'd been back in his life, I watched tears fall from his eyes as his chin quivered. His fists were balled up, knuckles white as he looked out the window, at the floor, anywhere but at me. "Even now it haunts me; I can't get it out of my head, Bella. There they were, my Dad and Kate…together…on my fucking kitchen table. A-and the worst part was," he cried, "they fucking _smiled _when they saw me."

His shoulders began to shake as he let the hurt have him.

I couldn't take the distance anymore and my heart hurt for the pain he was obviously in from reliving his past. I reached out and took his hand, gently pulling him from his seat. With my free hand, I wiped the tears from my eyes, having felt every bit of the pain he'd endured. Edward finally met my eyes as he hesitated in following my lead.

"Edward, baby, please come with me…we're just going to the couch, okay?"

He furiously scrubbed the moisture from his cheeks as he stood and, seeing how agonized he was in letting all of this out, I stepped closer and wrapped my arms around him. His head fell to my shoulder instantly as his arms moved around my waist tightly. I could feel the tremors shake his body as he released all the hurt he held inside.

I was helpless to stop the tears from falling from my eyes as I held him close, kissing his head and rubbing his back. Now knowing what he'd endured at the hands of Carlisle, someone I'd once looked to as a father, and knowing that the pain and trauma didn't stop there had my blood boiling. I was physically sick to my stomach and couldn't wait to see the son of a bitch again.

Edward eventually pulled away and looked into my eyes, every emotion he was feeling visible there. After a few minutes passed in silence of us just staring into one another's eyes, gentle touches here and there, he began to pull me into the living room. It surprised me that he was suddenly taking the initiative now.

"I have to finish telling you everything, Doll, otherwise I'll lose my nerve," he explained with a sniffle as he sat down and pulled me down to sit across his lap, his arms locked around me. I didn't need to ask why he'd done so because it was obvious to me that he'd done it for the same reason I'd wanted to bring him to the couch. For physical contact and comfort. "Anyway, after seeing that shit, I ran from the apartment…I couldn't fucking deal with it. Everything I cared about and everything I thought I knew was completely shattered. I wound up sleeping in my car that night."

"You had family all around, Edward…why didn't you call one of them?"

"Because I wouldn't have been able to keep myself from telling them the truth of what I walked in on. Doll, it would have destroyed my mother and I refused to be the one to do that to her, which is exactly why she still doesn't know to this day. So, the next morning, once I got to the practice, he was waiting for me in my office. He stood glaring at me and actually tried to play it off as my fault. I yelled at him about how he'd ruined my fucking life and betrayed me in the worst way. He didn't give a fuck, Bella. It was like he took pleasure in knowing that he'd destroyed the best thing I had going for me. I did find out by his own omission that he had been fucking her behind my back for months. When I brought up the meds, he said that she'd come to him weeks before, saying that she needed pain medication for an old injury related to a car accident years before. So, he took a script slip from the pad in my office and signed my name to it. Apparently, he continued doing it, but to cover his ass, he was using my name so it wouldn't come back on him. I was an emotional fucking wreck the rest of the day. I remember it all like it was fucking yesterday, Bella. I snapped at two patients, fired my secretary for no reason…and I finally just ended up going home at lunch. That's when I found her…" he started, his chin quivering again. He then reached into the pocket of his shirt and pulled out an old, wrinkled and folded piece of paper.

"Sh-she had no pulse, her skin was cold to the touch and she was completely fucking lifeless. Next to the bed were two empty bottles of pills and this," he whispered, struggling through the emotion in his voice as he handed me the paper.

I took it from him and gently unfolded it as the paper was obviously worn.

_Edward,_

_I have nothing to offer you in terms of comfort. I wish I could say I'm sorry for what I and Carlisle have done, but I won't because I can't regret all the beautiful things we shared. Something you should know is that I was with him long before you and I began our relationship. As much as it may hurt you, getting involved with you was just another way for him and I to sneak around and no, Alice never knew anything. She was just another ploy in our affair. I know you've noticed my addiction to the pain medication and I'm sorry for not having coming clean and told you of my problem. It's something that I've always struggled with and there was just never a good time to bring it up. _

_I want you to know that last night, after you found us, Carlisle and I had our first fight. I am afraid you'll report me for my addiction and having stolen your script pads, and Carlisle is convinced that you'll run to that bitch mother of yours and ruin everything. I am sorry, but I can't live with either possibility and saw this as my only way out. I know I am leaving you with a lot of unanswered questions but I doubt you'd be interested as they would only hurt you more. _

_You're a good man and if there is anything in this life I regret, it's the way in which I deceived you and robbed another woman of possibly having the chance to be with you all this time. I do hope that someday you find the happiness you deserve._

_Please, if you ever cared about me at all, tell your father I love him._

_K_

By the end of that letter, I needed a cigarette worse than I ever had before. To know that he'd not only found out about his pig of a father and fiancée, but also found her dead in their bed of his apartment with that disgusting letter all in twenty-four hours…

I wanted to kill the man.

I wished to God that bitch were still alive so I could kill her myself.

And most importantly, I desperately wanted to erase this hell from Edward's memory. I wanted him to be free of these demons and be happy.

Deep in my heart, I knew he'd taken the letter and kept it hidden for the sake of protecting his family, but I was still angry all the same that he hadn't handed it over to the police.

"Why…"

I didn't even get to finish before he gently grasped my hand that held the vile piece of paper. "I did it for my family," he whispered. "Doll, my life was already destroyed. I couldn't let that happen to Mom, Alice, and Em. Fuck, Emmett had a family of his own. I just…I took it all on. And God, I even fucking tried to revive her, to no avail. When the police came with their forensics team, I knew how fucking bad it looked. The bruises on her chest from me trying to pound her heart back to life, my saliva around her mouth…Doll, it looked horrible, but thank fuck that they believed me about attempting to resuscitate her. Dad fucking relentlessly tried pinning everything on me…telling the police that I'd been prescribing her the anxiety and pain medications. Alice even chimed in with claims that I had been physically abusive and that Kate was terrified of me. Due to their allegations combined with the fact that it _was _my name listed as the prescriber, and it was my apartment in which she was found dead, they arrested me. My family turned against me and without so much as a single, 'are you okay', they just took Dad and Alice at their word. Mom wouldn't even look at me," he cried, looking away as he fought hopelessly against the pain.

"Eventually, the police announced that I was no longer a suspect when they confirmed that the signature on the scripts that the pharmacies had on file weren't mine. Dad went apeshit on me, and so did Alice. They fucking bombarded me at work on my first day back to try and push me into a confession. I refused, Bella, but I was so fucked up that I was out of my head. I didn't know who I was anymore or where my fucking life was going. When I went back to the apartment to gather my things—since I was staying in a hotel—I happened to find a few Oxycontin lying on the floor, which Kate had obviously missed. I don't know what made me do it, but I picked them up and when I got to the fucking hotel, I took them. It was both the biggest mistake, and the best thing I could have done at that moment in time. It numbed all the pain I felt. It was as though nothing fucking mattered anymore, and I was untouchable. But the come down…I've yet to have one near as bad as that first time. I contemplated ending my own life more times than I can fucking count. I was pissed at myself for not having been smart enough to see what was happening under my nose sooner. I was angry that I had become so weak that I was willing to sacrifice my fucking happiness just to keep my family in their perfect little bubble and in doing so, keep him happy. I was depressed and questioned God over and over in regards to what it was about me that made them want to do this to me. What could have possibly been so wrong with me that Kate would turn to my own father for comfort and love instead? I was a fucking basket case."

I couldn't hear anymore. At least not at that moment. I took his face in my hands and made him look at me. "Nothing. _Nothing _is wrong with you, Edward. Do you hear me? It's them, baby. It was all them." I told him firmly, willing him with my eyes to believe me.

His hands came up and gently pulled mine from his face, his lips pressing kisses to my knuckles. "Bella, the next day at work, I stole a script sheet from Dad's office and wrote myself a prescription for Oxycontin. Of course, I wasn't thinking at that point because, even though I was able to have it filled because I was family, they contacted him and he got shit for it which is how he found me in my office late one night right as I was taking my pills. I can promise you that when I was on the clock, I was never under the influence. I would never have endangered any of my patients like that, but Dad…well, all he saw was an opportunity to come at me and fuck me over in the worst way he could. He reported me to the Washington State Medical Board for practicing while impaired by narcotics. It was all bullshit, but with all that had gone on and my erratic behavior the week of Kate's death, everyone in the office had taken Dad's side. Not a single one stood up for me and there's really no telling what the fuck he told them. They launched an investigation and when they were presented with the bottle of Oxy that I possessed, I was brought to a trial slash meeting of sorts and stripped of my license. That was the final nail in the coffin, Bella. My life was forever changed—I was forever changed—by that moment. He'd taken everything fr-from me," he sobbed, holding me tighter to him as he fought through his words. "My own father…the person I had modeled myself after, the one who'd achieved my dreams _with _me turned out to be the one to destroy me and strip me of everything I fucking cared about, including my f-family."

He then buried his head against my chest, sniffling and trying to calm himself down. I sat there, running my fingers through his hair soothingly and desperately trying to get a fucking grip on my own emotions. I couldn't allow myself to dwell on my anger because as it was, I was already _this_close to fucking leaving my house and going straight to that bitch, Alice's house and then over to Carlisle's.

Needing a cigarette desperately, I rose from Edward's lap, hearing his breath catch and watching his eyes widen in fear and skepticism. I stretched my hand out to him and gave him a small smile…the best I could muster with the weight of everything that had been confided in the room.

"I just need a smoke, and I really think you could use a break," I told him softly as he stood and slowly followed me outside. I immediately went over to the railing, resting my arms upon it as I looked up into the blackened sky. Edward surprised me by moving directly behind me and wrapping his arms tight around my waist once more, holding me to him as though he were afraid I would leave.

"Is this okay, Doll?" he asked, his voice quiet and filled with uncertainty.

"Yes. Need me to light you a cig?"

"Fuck yes," he groaned.

I sniffled as I pulled two from the pack, lighting them simultaneously and handing him one.

"Doll, if this is too much…if hearing all of this shit is more than you can take, just tell me and I'll stop."

"Edward, it's not that, and stop expecting the worst, okay? I can hear it in your voice, I can see it in your eyes, and I'm telling you _again _that I'm not going anywhere."

All I heard for the rest of our smoke break was the occasional heavy sighs he released behind me, and all I felt was his arms around me, the warmth of his firm body pressed into my back, and the touch of his lips that brushed gently against the side of my neck now and again. Wrong as the timing was, he was fucking turning me on, which was what prompted me to move us back inside.

"If you need a fix, go ahead. I'm going to make you another drink and have a quick shot."

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know I said I wasn't drinking anymore tonight, but I also wasn't expecting the shit he'd told me, and I knew he was nowhere near finished.

"Actually, I'm good. I'll take a shot though," he answered back quietly, hands shoved deep in his pockets, hair disheveled. Despite how emotional we both were and the hell he had endured so far, he looked fucking delicious, and the only reason I hadn't jumped his beautiful bones yet was because I was waiting patiently for the rest of his story. My anger that I'd felt for him earlier today and all week was long gone now. I would have to be one hell of a cruel bitch to still hold a grudge against him after all he was doing and putting himself through to make up for it.

I could also see from his mannerisms and the look in his eyes that he wanted to be close to me but wasn't sure if he could, and it also seemed that he thought I might still be mad at him or that I didn't want him too close, which of course wasn't true.

"A few months passed, and I was doing things that I never fucking thought I'd ever do," he said with a wry chuckle.

"Edward, you don't have to keep going…"

"I know, but I just want to get this out and have it be over, Doll. Anyway, I had begun going up to the hospital and using my former physician's tools and status to manipulate my way into the pharmacy to get fucking pills. I was at an all-time low, and I just didn't give a fuck about whether I was caught or not. Fucking fitting too because I was pulled over only four miles from the hospital. Apparently, Carlisle had been there and saw me leave from the parking lot. He'd called the police and told them that I had pills on me. Thank fuck I'd already secured them in a steel capsule that I kept hidden deep in a hole I'd cut in the underside of the passenger side seat. Although they found nothing on me, Carlisle had managed to get several of the staff to confirm I'd been seen in the hospital, and after checking the pill count for Oxycontin, the cops cuffed me and hauled me down to the station on possession. The whole thing was fucking bogus considering I had nothing on me when I was found. With Jasper having been my best friend at the time, I took a chance and called him for help. He hesitated at first, but eventually came. He'd told me that first night that he didn't believe I had killed Kate, but that my drug use was out of control and I was fucking up my life and everyone else's in the process. Hearing that come from him was like having a red hot branding iron shoved through my fucking heart, especially since the whole family's view would change if they knew the fucking truth. I promised him that I would pay him back the cost of bailing me out. After he dropped me back to my car, I drove to the abandoned house I'd taken up staying in, and I hit rock bottom. I knew that the few pills I'd taken from the hospital weren't enough for the way I was feeling, so I took to the streets. Doing that was the stupidest thing I've ever done in my life, and it's what got me into the fucked up situation I'm in now. It took a few hours, but I managed to find some bum outside a strip club out in Port Angeles that said he had some on him. The charge was three hundred a fucking pill. I wasn't stupid; I knew he was fucking raping me with that price, but I was so desperate, he could have charged me a thousand and I'd have paid it gladly. I told him I needed ten, and Bella, you've got to remember, at that stage in my life, I was the furthest thing from street smart. I pulled out my wallet, which I always kept loaded with cash. The guy obviously took notice and suddenly, the deal wasn't as valuable anymore. The guy took a fucking swing at me and reached for my wallet. I lost my shit and went after him, managing to knock him to the ground before he reached the main road. All the anger and hurt I'd kept pent up inside of me fucking exploded, Bella. I relentlessly beat the ever loving shit out of that motherfucker, and when I finally came to, I realized I'd fucking killed him. And at that same moment, I also realized I wasn't alone. I pocketed my wallet, and the stash of pills he carried in his jacket pocket, as I tried to get a fucking hold of myself. I was shaking and damn near close to screaming out when I saw the shadow move out into the alleyway from the door of the club. The man was pure fucking evil and bad news; I could tell that just by looking at him. At first, he came off as sympathetic, but then he called me by my fucking name."

Edward paused and took a seat on one of the barstools. Obviously, he wanted space between us for now and I knew after hearing what he'd just confessed that this is where he thought I'd turn away from him.

"Bella, I hadn't mentioned my name _once. _He went on then to explain that Kate had been one of his top customers and sellers for quite some time, but that she had begun using the supply he'd given her to sell. He knew of me as her fiancée, and he also knew I was a doctor, so he fucking blackmailed me. He showed me a video that he'd captured on his fucking phone of me killing that man, and told me that I was going to work for him and sell his drugs until I repaid Kate's debt, which was in the area of three hundred and fifty grand. I was willing to go to jail for murder as I had nothing else to lose, and when Aro, that's his name, when he picked up on that, he went in for the kill. He threatened my family, Bella. Said he had their names, addresses, places of work…he knew it all, and I believed him because he fucking recited it all back to me. I was told that if at any point, I fucked up…he wouldn't hesitate in killing them. So I went along with it. He kept me out of prison, to which I was indebted to him, and he supplied me with the fucking drugs while I worked off the debt of a bitch that fucked around on me with my father. It couldn't get anymore fucking twisted than it already was. I started off doing the drug runs with James Harrison, which is the son of a bitch that attacked you at my place last week. I was given the shit jobs, Doll. None of them trusted me so I caught hell from everyone. The only thing that kept me going was the fucking drugs. Eventually, I began to settle into the life and grew a sick, fucked up bond with Aro and his crew. It was like the only fucking family I had. I wound up in jail for possession and distribution more times than I can count, and while Em and Jazz continued to bail me out for a while, it was Aro's connections that kept me from doing real time. And each time I tried to pay Em or Jazz back, they threw the cash back in my face, saying that they didn't want or have any need for my blood money. They knew what kind of life I was living, and honestly, at that point I didn't give a fuck what they thought they knew. I just wanted someone to say they fucking cared about what happened to me. I just wanted a call from my mom…for her to just check on me. But no. Nothing ever came, and it didn't take long for me to realize that Alice was behind it all. I figured it out because I had continued going to the Sunday dinners, as I told you—I haven't missed a single one unless I was locked up or on a job. Anyway, eventually, Emmett and Jasper wanted fucking nothing to do with me anymore either. They quit answering my calls. Emmett served me with a restraining order, keeping me away from my nephews. Jasper told me to fuck off, and that I was nothing but shit to him, which I still believe were Alice's words…not his. I'd pretty much accepted the fact that I was no longer considered a part of the family, but until my mother told me to quit attending dinners on Sunday, I was going to keep my promise. She may not ever talk to me, but she's never asked me to quit coming either."

"She wants to," I murmured, meeting his eyes which instantly narrowed.

"What?"

"About two weeks ago, Esme and I had lunch, and she said that she wants to see you and asked me to set something up at my house. I didn't want to just plan something and spring it on you, and there hasn't exactly been a good time to bring it up, but now, with everything you've told me, there's no way in hell I'm doing anything for her."

"Well, thanks for that. I think I probably would have exploded, and seeing her and having her possibly act like a fucking mother to me would have only fucked me up more. Back to the job, the money was good, I had no complaints, but when Aro moved me up in rank to taking care of his business, I started making more than I was as a fucking physician, Bella. The worst part of it was, I was his fucking hit man. I had to learn how to block out the blood and the killing. I knew…I fucking _know _it's wrong, but I had no way out of it, and I refused to be responsible for the slaughter of my entire family. Once I learned how to push it to the back of my mind, I finally began to use some of the money. I bought the abandoned house that I had stayed in for a while when I was avoiding the apartment. I still have it and go to it as a place to think…kind of cheesy but it's my safe haven. I had so much saved in addition to what I'd previously had in my bank account that I turned around and bought the house I live in now. It was a disaster when I first got it. What you see now is a fully restored and renovated home. It took nearly a year to do, but it was worth it. On the downside, my drug addiction grew and grew, Bella. I went from only taking a few pills when I couldn't stand the pain anymore, to taking three to five every couple of hours to an hour and a half. I went from swallowing it, to snorting the shit. I've got fucking drug kits everywhere. Both houses, my car, the warehouse, hell…I even hid one in the cabinets of your bathroom. Doll, I just…I need you to understand something about me okay? The whole reason I told you all of this is so that you'd know why I am the way I am. I'm not the same man I was two and half years ago. I'm not that boy you grew up knowing, at least not anymore. I have nothing to offer you but pain. I'm a fucking addict, a murderer, and a weak son of a bitch that is sticking by a family that fucking spits on the ground he walks on. You deserve better than that, Doll. What happened last week was just the first time…I can't promise you that won't happen again. And by that I mean that I can't promise you that you won't run in to Aro's crew again, and with your connection to Laurent Plaxton, it's too fucking dangerous. I won't put you at risk like that. I can't. Bella, you're the best fucking thing that's _ever _happened to me, okay? I mean that. You came into my life when I was lost and without a fucking friend in the world. I don't want to lose you, but I can understand if you think that going our separate ways would be…"

I refused to listen to anymore. My eyes were still wet with tears as I came around the bar and glared up at him as he had stood the moment I moved. I raised both hands to his cheeks and held his face firmly.

"You listen to me, and you listen to me fucking good, Edward Cullen. You aren't getting rid of me that fucking easy. I can take care of myself. But you…_you _are not weak. You're the strongest fucking person I know. Everything you've been through, all that you've lost…and for you to come out as strong and beautiful as you are?! Edward, it's your family's loss because they are missing out on one hell of a man, and I pray that someday they fucking see that. You are not to blame for any of this shit. You did what you had to do to survive. You didn't murder by choice, you were forced to, and a true murderer doesn't feel guilt. I'm not fucking going anywhere. I'm here because I want to be here, and I want to be with you. Aro, Laurent, I don't give a fuck, let them come…but there's nothing that can keep me away from you, let me make that clear. I told you that nothing you could tell me would turn me away, and I fucking meant it," I told him, my voice cracking at the end with the emotions I was desperately trying to hold back.

With tears in his eyes, Edward flexed his jaw and looked off to the side. "Doll, you des…"

"_Don't _you dare stand here and tell me what you think I deserve. I'm standing here, my heart bare, telling you I want you…I want to be with you. So either you want…"

I didn't even have time to blink before my back collided with the cold metal door of my fridge and his beautiful green eyes locked heatedly on my own. "You talk. Too. Fucking. Much." he growled at me with a sexy smirk before bringing his lips down on mine.

I quickly broke away and cocked a brow in his direction. "Yeah, and you think too fucking much," I replied softly, tangling my fingers in his hair and pulling him back to me.

**So what did you all think? Was it what you were expecting? It certainly wasn't an easy one to write. Also, please be kind as this one is also unbeta'ed.**

**Sorry it took a while. I've been in a BD2 haze for at least a week and a half and then last weekend I spent in New Orleans...**

**Well, hope you enjoyed it! **

**Leave me some love!**

**T**


	23. Chapter 22

**Sorry for taking a bit to get this one out. **

**Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving! Lords knows I spent my share on Black Friday too LOL**

**Well, here we go... but because I'm sick and wanted to get this out to you all, it isn't beta'ed :(**

**See you ladies at the bottom!**

"You_ listen to me, and you listen to me fucking good, Edward Cullen. You aren't getting rid of me that fucking easy. I can take care of myself. But you…you are not weak. You're the strongest fucking person I know. Everything you've been through, all that you've lost…and for you to come out as strong and beautiful as you are?! Edward, it's your family's loss because they are missing out on one hell of a man, and I pray that someday they fucking see that. You are not to blame for any of this shit. You did what you had to do to survive. You didn't murder by choice, you were forced to, and a true murderer doesn't feel guilt. I'm not fucking going anywhere. I'm here because I want to be here, and I want to be with you. Aro, Laurent, I don't give a fuck, let them come…but there's nothing that can keep me away from you, let me make that clear. I told you that nothing you could tell me would turn me away, and I fucking meant it," I told him, my voice cracking at the end with the emotions I was desperately trying to hold back._

_With tears in his eyes, Edward flexed his jaw and looked off to the side. "Doll, you des…"_

_"Don't you dare stand here and tell me what you think I deserve. I'm standing here, my heart bare, telling you I want you…I want to be with you. So either you want…"_

_I didn't even have time to blink before my back collided with the cold metal door of my fridge and his beautiful green eyes locked heatedly on my own. "You talk. Too. Fucking. Much." he growled at me with a sexy smirk before bringing his lips down on mine._

_I quickly broke away and cocked a brow in his direction. "Yeah, and you think too fucking much," I replied softly, tangling my fingers in his hair and pulling him back to me._

**BPOV**

Right as his lips brushed lightly against mine, he pulled away.

"Wait, Doll. Are you sure you want this? Even after all I've told you and what I did to you? Because if there's even the slightest hint of doubt in your mind, you need to tell me," he whispered gently to me.

"I've never been more sure of anything, Edward. And not that I'm complaining about you literally throwing me against my fridge just now, but does this mean that you're giving in?"

With a thrust of his hips against mine, causing me to whimper, his lips curved upward into a wicked grin. "Giving in? No. Making _this _official? Yes," he answered with a brush of his nose against mine.

Despite his playful nature, I could still see the pain and uncertainty in his eyes as he stared back at me.

"What is it, Edward? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I need to be fucking close to you, Doll," he replied huskily, swallowing down the emotions from whatever he had just been thinking about.

"Well, I'm right here."

I watched as his eyes darkened and he licked his lips, nearly bringing me to my knees. Edward slowly craned his neck down, fusing that sinful mouth of his with mine in a kiss to rival all others we'd shared before.

This time, we weren't wasted. And this time, it didn't come as a result of junk food and drunken massages.

No. This was all about feelings and what we'd just laid out on the table to one another. We were—as Edward said—making this…us…official.

As his lips and tongue moved with mine, something akin to an animalistic hunger exploded in me. I'd gone from being somewhat skeptical about where we were headed, to not being able to get close enough to him.

I fisted one hand in the hair at the back of his hand and pressed the palm of the other flat against the small of his back, pushing his body forcefully against my own. It was fucking ridiculous; I felt like a damn cat in heat. It took every bit of self-control that I possessed—which wasn't much—not to climb his body like a fucking tree.

His hands tangled in the long tresses of my hair, biting at my bottom lip. I just so happened to open my eyes in reaction to his teeth, and gasped into his mouth when I found him staring blazingly back at me. I knew what he wanted—fuck, what we _both _wanted—and for the first time, I wasn't panicking. It was just Edward and me; we were alone, and lord knows, I doubted I'd make it another day without feeling him inside of me. Without going absolutely fucking crazy, that is.

I retaliated and took hold of his bottom lip, flicking my tongue against it while I held it in my teeth. Edward's eyes darkened as I released it and flirtatiously grinned. His mouth then left mine as his hand tugged on my hair, pulling my head to the side and exposing my neck where he began to kiss, suckle, and nip at the tender skin in a trail to my collarbone. The coarse hair of his scruff scratching against my neck set my body on fire, and the near painful throbbing in my core screamed at me that I couldn't wait any longer.

I placed both hands on his jean-clad ass, digging my fingers in and pushing him against me. His hips began to grind against my own, causing me to moan aloud as his mouth moved up the other side of my neck and to my ear. The hot panting combined with the flicks of his tongue against my lobe had me raking my nails down his back, still trying desperately to get closer.

"Bedroom," I moaned. "_Now."_

Edward pulled away, his breaths heavy as his eyes narrowed and zeroed in on me, as if trying to determine if I was serious or not. And honestly, I couldn't fucking blame him for being weary considering how I'd flipped the fuck out on him the last time we'd gotten close.

I didn't want his over active mind to talk him out of this, so I quickly crushed my lips back to his, pushing my tongue forcefully into his mouth, our teeth clanging together. A growl from deep within his chest erupted as his hand released my hair and both then traveled down my sides, his nails raking against the clothing over my ribs, past my hips and finally landing on my thighs where he formed a tight grip.

Edward hissed as he suddenly lifted me up, my core brushing roughly against his hard cock, eliciting a wanton moan from my lips. My legs went around his waist as he turned with me in his grasp and stumbled through my house into my unkempt bedroom. Fuck my life, because as soon as I remembered that out of all the cleaning I'd done, my room had been neglected, Edward stumbled, tripped and together we fell ass over elbows.

While I lay sprawled on top of him, cursing like the lady I am, Edward chuckled deeply and threw his head back against my floor with a thud.

"Well, so much for that…lesson learned here is not to throw my shit in the path to my fucking bed."

"You know, an even better lesson would be to put your shit where it actually goes," he told me.

"Are you _trying _to kill the mood?"

Suddenly, Edward had flipped us and now rested flat on top of me, his nose following a scorching trail along my neck.

"Says you, but I can fucking promise you, the mood is still intact," he whispered and with that said, I wrapped my arms around him and slid my fingers down his back until I held the hem of his t-shirt in my hands. All it took was a small tug before he lifted himself off of me just briefly enough to rip the shirt over his head. When he came down, his eyes bore into my own with a smug grin. "And it appears that you, Doll, still want me just as much as I want…"

I didn't let him finish. I dug my nails into the meat of his shoulder and slid my other hand beneath his jeans, daring to take it a step further. Edward's grin quickly faded as he pressed into me with his hips, making sure I felt every inch of his length.

As he held himself above me by his forearms, I arched my back, bringing my mouth closer to his, showing him what it was I wanted. But as he had done a lot lately, Edward did the opposite. He pulled away to kneel and then reached out a hand, taking me with him.

It was there, with us on our knees, that we frantically undressed each other, taking turns lavishing one another in kisses. And something had quickly come to my attention: Edward was a biter, which in a way made us a perfect fit because I was a self-proclaimed scratcher, and if I'm being honest, nothing's sexier to me than a little roughness.

Another discovery? Edward's nipple ring was his weakness, trigger…whatever the fuck you wanna call it. Just the slightest flick of my tongue against it brought out an aggressiveness in Edward, which is how I wound up on the bed, bare as the day I was fucking born. Edward still had his boxer briefs on, though they did nothing in concealing that beautiful, thick cock of his. The sight of it straining against the cotton fabric made my mouth water and my pussy scream for attention.

As I lay there flat on my back, I watched Edward come to kneel at the edge of the bed, his eyes smoldering. I didn't know what he'd had in mind for his next move, but I sure as fuck wasn't waiting for it. I quickly sat up and reached out, slipping my fingers beneath the elastic band of his boxers.

Just as I began to pull them down, Edward shoved me backwards and shook his head as he smirked at me.

"Not tonight, Doll…" he rasped, his voice trailing off as he took hold of my hips and lifted my bottom half from the mattress, high enough to put my dripping core before his mouth. "Jesus fucking Christ…you're so fucking wet," Edward hissed, closing his eyes and breathing me in for a moment.

Then he went in for the kill. His tongue snaked out, lightly sliding along my lips, a groan escaping from his chest, and his scruff scratching against my inner thighs. My back arched as my head fell back, my fists grabbed at the sheets, and I moaned. Loudly.

Fuck. Me.

As he suckled at my clit and flicked with his tongue, the more I moved, the tighter his grip on my hips would become. My body was on fire from his touch and as that coil wound tighter and tighter, I decided that the opportunity was too fucking good to pass up.

I opened my eyes and nearly orgasmed there on the fucking spot. There he was, his face buried nose deep in my pussy, his eyes watching me darkly with his glorious hair in disarray. I could feel my legs beginning to shake with my impending release as Edward winked at me and thrust his hot tongue into me.

Then it snapped.

The coil was fucking shattered.

"Fuck!" I screamed out as I rode those glorious fucking waves. Edward continued drink all I could give him and if this was just foreplay, I couldn't even begin to fucking imagine what it would be like when he was finally inside of me.

With a tender, last kiss to the inside of my thigh, he gently pulled back and lowered my body to the mattress. Still in an orgasm-induced coma, I watched through heavy-lidded eyes as he slid his boxers slowly past his hips, exposing himself to me inch by glorious fucking inch.

He was utter perfection. Long, thick, smooth and hard as fucking steel. With stealthy, fuckhot as all get out, Edward climbed up onto the bed, sliding his delicious form over mine until we lay skin to skin. No barriers.

And suddenly, as our eyes met for the umpteenth time, a feeling that I hadn't fucking felt in years spread throughout my body, warming my heart and sending my mind into a panic.

Edward's eyes mirrored the same.

As our fingers roamed over one another's skin, my hands paying attention to his back and tracing the lines of his tattoo, we seemed to have a silent conversation. One we weren't yet ready to have aloud, one that would completely change everything.

The atmosphere and feeling in the room had transformed and was now full of intense emotion as everything shifted.

At an agonizingly slow pace, his head inched closer to mine. His beautiful lashes fluttered against his cheeks as wetness showed just slightly at the corner of his eyes. At the first brush of his lips against mine, he lifted himself up onto his forearms, his hands managing to find mine and lacing our fingers together. Our lips molded to each other sweetly, conveying the emotion we kept inside.

Then, without warning, Edward shifted his hips and thrust himself completely inside me with force, causing me to cry out and grasp his fingers with all the strength I had.

Never.

Never had I known a feeling like this.

Never had I been filled so completely.

His movements were forceful, deep, and grew in intensity with each thrust.

We bordered a very thin line of fucking and making love, leaning more toward the fucking.

It was rough.

It was hot.

It was fast, and it left me fucking breathless.

And once he'd brought us to that ultimate high together, he didn't pull away. Instead, he'd remained inside of me and collapsed on my chest, something I found fucking sweet as hell.

But then I heard a weird sound come from him, followed by the steady rise and fall of his chest.

Edward Cullen had actually fucked himself to sleep.

***~C&B~***

When it became clear that Edward had fallen into a deep sleep and wouldn't be waking anytime soon, I began wishing like hell that I had a dog.

A very well-trained dog; one that would bring my fucking phone, which was currently in the living room, to me with just one fucking word.

I knew that I didn't have the fucking energy to move him, and honestly, even though I needed the bathroom and craved a cigarette like nobody's business, I don't think I would have moved him even if I could.

He'd put himself through hell for me tonight. And finally knowing the truth of everything, my heart ached for him even more.

I was now more determined than ever to stand by his side and get him through this.

That, and I knew. I knew just by looking at him that he was tired of this life. It wasn't him, and he'd come to realize it. He'd just lived without anyone caring for so long that he'd forgotten what it was like to matter.

And it was something I was going to bring up to Charlie over the weekend. But in the meantime, I had to avoid being around Carlisle at all costs. As badly as I wanted to rip his fucking pathetic ass head off, I didn't know what he would do once he found out I knew of his infidelity and lies.

If he was capable of having Edward stripped of his medical license and convincing enough to make the police believe Edward capable of murder, if he were capable of turning such a good family into the sack of shit it was now, there was no fucking clue what he would try to do to me.

Not that I was afraid of him—because I wasn't—but I refused to give him any reason to meddle in Charlie's life or hurt Edward any further than he already had.

I knew eventually I'd speak my peace and tear him a new asshole, but it was just going to have to wait until I'd thought it all through very carefully.

"Fuck me…please, Doll, quit grinding your fucking teeth," Edward moaned, causing me to nearly jump a mile high.

"I thought you were sleeping, asshole. Besides, I do it when I'm thinking and half the time I don't even realize I'm doing it," I answered, running my nails along his scalp.

"Thinking about what?" he asked, his voice growing a bit quieter as he lifted his head and propped it up with his hand.

"Stuff. Like…what are we going to do with Charlie when he gets here this weekend? How are we going to keep him busy? That type of shit," I lied, not wanting to bring his mood down.

"We?" he questioned back, his brow arched as he grinned.

"Yes, we. You're stuck with me now, Eddie," I whispered, moving my hips in a circular motion beneath him.

I heard him gasp as he glanced down. "Yeah, I guess I fucking am," he said with a smile that was followed by a very loud, very angry growl from his stomach. "But I think I just might take you up on those left overs now," he smiled crookedly.

Agonizingly slowly, Edward lifted himself up and off me, his already semi, close to fully, hard cock sliding deliciously out of me.

"Fuck that. My house, my kitchen, my food," I flirted, sitting up and making sure to stretch and tease him with my bare curves before standing and pressing myself against him, taking his cock into my hand. "You aren't getting anything until you've showered…"

"Oh you don't fight fair," he laughed, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me closer.

"Never said I did," I answered, pressing a quick kiss to his still swollen lips before releasing his dick and taking his hand, pulling him behind me to the bathroom.

***~C&B~***

After having watched Edward inhale nearly a full pot of leftover pot roast, potatoes and carrots—by himself mind you—we went out on the back porch for a cigarette. It was plainly obvious to me just how tired Edward was. Hell, how the fuck he was even still standing after the day he'd had amazed me.

His eyes sagged, his shoulders slumped and yet, with his torso bare and his jeans slung low, he looked positively fucking edible.

He'd created a fucking monster, he just hadn't realized that yet. Or maybe round two and the blow job in the shower had given him a hint.

Either way, you'd never know by looking at him because he appeared to be completely unfazed by me. However, I knew that if I were to walk on over and rub myself against him, he'd have me nailed to the wall and impaled in a matter of minutes.

"Doll, can I ask for a favor?"

"What?" I asked softly.

"Can we turn our fucking phones off tonight? I just…I wanna…"

I took a step closer and placed my hand on his arm. "I get it, Eddie, and it's not a problem. But let me just warn you right now, if for some reason my face gets in a fight with another table, you better fucking run."

"Fucking A! How many times are you going to pin me with that shit? I told you then, and I'll tell you now…it wasn't my fault! You lost your footing and fell. I didn't fucking move!" Edward exclaimed with a laugh, flicking the cherry off of his cigarette and putting the butt in the can I had placed outside the door.

He then, with a brilliant, true Edward smile, he took my hand and led me back into my house, pulling me straight into the bedroom.

Once undressed and beneath the sheets, his legs entwined with mine as his head rested against my chest. Apparently, he really liked that spot.

Several moments of silence passed as we lay comfortably together.

"Doll, I never thanked you earlier," he murmured softly.

"Thanked me for what?" I asked in confusion, running my fingers softly through his hair.

"For listening. For taking a leap of faith and standing by me, despite how crudely I treated you. And especially for giving me the one thing I was never given…a chance to tell my side."

"Edward, never. You _never _have to thank me for that. And I'll always be here," I told him, brushing my hand against his cheek. "By the way, you smell great," I said as plainly as I could without laughing.

I felt him chuckle against me before he rose his head and narrowed his eyes at me. "Yeah, smelling like strawberries grown in a rosebush is so fucking manly."

"It's not my fault you failed to notice the Old Spice body wash sitting on the corner of the tub."

"You're bullshitting me!" he glared.

"I swear. If you don't believe me, go have a look."

"Well, you can't blame me! You had your fucking mouth on my dick!"

"Mmm…" I hummed, rubbing my legs along his. "That I did, and…"

"Don't even think about it, Doll," Edward laughed throatily.

**So...ahhhh...we can breathe now...the tension has been eased at least a little :D**

**I want to take a minute to address something though. I had a Guest leave a review for the last chapter and, while I'm all for constructive criticism, there's wasn't anything constructive about what she/he said. They basically said in so many words that Edward couldn't possibly be that big of a martyr and that he just asoon take responsibility for the hungry and poor in Africa, that it wouldn't be anymore extreme and dramatic than the way I've written him. **

**I take offense to that as I've put my heart and soul into his character and if this person is seriously so cold hearted and immune to the pain his character has suffered, then why the hell did they stick with it for 22 chapters? **

**I appreciate all my reviewers and readers, but if you were THAT guest and are reading this now, do yourself and me a favor and go read something else. Oh and btw, before you go criticizing me or anyone else for what they've written, maybe you should run spellcheck on your fucking comments. It's 'martyr' and 'pollution'**

**NOW, on another note, it's been a while since I've made some recommendations so here's a few that currently own my ass:**

**A Whisper of Chaos by theonlykyla - My wonderful, beautiful Twifey!**

**Fan Fiction, Sex Gods, and Single Girls by bannerday**

**Sperm Donor Wanted by OzellaMarie**

**Illusion of Innocence by Ttharman**

**Uncertain by theonlykyla**


	24. Chapter 23

**Just a quick word. This chapter is kind of a filler chapter. A most of you already know, the actual prologue will post between January 1st and 4th...depending on when we return from out of town. And that's a promise considering that it's already written and beta'd ;D**

**EPOV**

Warmth. Softness. _Security._

I was completely engulfed by it as I woke up this morning, the sun shining blaringly bright through the shades and right into my fucking eye.

I shimmied down in the bed to remove my eye from the beam of light, only to feel the amazing power of Bella's silky smooth thighs squeeze tightly around my waist. My move had put my head where I wanted it anyway…buried in her fucking tits.

Yeah, I know, I sound like a fucking pig, but really? Can you blame me? Having not been with anyone since that bitch died a little over two years ago made being with Bella like having my first time all over again. And honestly, it was the best I'd had in the sense that I have never been with anyone and felt the connection that I felt with her last night.

Right now, as it was, my feelings for her were stronger than I'd ever imagined they could be. The way that she'd listened and accepted me for who I was last night completely took me off guard. Especially after the way I'd talked to and treated her that day at my house. I didn't fucking deserve her forgiveness, at least not as quickly as she gave it, but I wasn't about to complain.

Who the fuck was I to question whatever the entity up above wanted to bestow upon my sorry ass?

Bella had said a lot of things last night, and while they made me feel good about myself for the first time in years, it also saddened me that she actually believed her views regarding me. I was a murderer. Plain and simple. There was no way around it and no way to clean it up. I was a drug addict, and while she completely understood me on that front—of that I knew without a doubt—my involvement with Aro and his crew would only destroy her life eventually.

I loved her. I knew I fucking did, but there was no way in hell I would ever be able to bring myself to tell her. I couldn't be that cruel. I wanted to believe in the dream that she and I could live a normal and happy life together, but I knew it would never happen. Eventually the day would come where I was either put behind bars for life, or I was killed, and….

What the hell was I even thinking?

Maybe it was completely selfish of me, but there was no way in fuck that I could leave her. That I could tell her to forget about me and end what could be a beautiful thing that was starting between us.

The wonderful feeling of her body wrapped around mine as it was right now was something I wouldn't soon tire of. I let my arms tighten around her ribcage, pulling her even closer to me as I nuzzled my face into her chest, inhaling her intoxicating scent.

Despite all of my masochistic ways of thinking and the turmoil going on in my head, Bella still managed to make me feel human. Like I actually fucking belonged somewhere—that somewhere being with her. To her, I was no different than anybody else.

At that moment, the sensational feeling of her fucking nails raking through my hair and over my scalp, sent delicious chills down my spine.

"I know you're awake, Eddie. Something wrong?" she asked me softly, her voice raspy from sleep.

"Mmm, nothing, Doll. Do you always sleep with your blinds open though?" I questioned, lifting my head from her chest to meet her eyes.

"Shit, no. I guess I forgot to close them last night," she said with a wince, shielding her eyes with her free hand.

"Yeah, damn near blinded me this morning," I joked, scooting further down the bed and pulling her with me this time.

She lightly chuckled when I managed to turn us, her on her back and me on top, her legs still wrapped around me. Her hands moved to roam over my back and shoulders as I trailed my nose along her collarbone and up her neck.

When I made it to her lips, she pressed her head back into the fucking mattress and covered her mouth, eyes wide.

"What are you doing?" I laughed in absurdity as she shook her head.

She attempted to mumble out a response, but there was no way I could decipher that shit.

"Wanna try that again, Doll?"

"Morning breath."

_Was she fucking serious with this shit?_

"Right…Look, I go days without showering and you actually believe I give a fuck about morning breath?" I asked her, cocking a brow at her as a grin started to curve upwards at the corner of her mouth.

Without waiting for another word, I took her hand and moved it, holding it firmly in my own against the mattress as I slowly lowered my head and took her in a deep kiss. I pushed my hips down into her own, making sure that she fucking felt the problem that I'd woken with this morning.

"Oh fuck," she whimpered, fisting her hand in my hair.

"Don't mind if I do, Doll," I told her with a wink before pulling back and sliding home deliciously fucking slow.

***~C&B~***

Needless to say, Bella hadn't been insinuating me disliking morning breath. She was referring to herself. She'd let me get away with that one kiss, but everytime I even put my mouth close to hers after that during our morning romp, I received the evil eye.

You know, the look that makes your balls want to crawl up inside of you and not come out of hiding for a while?

Okay, well, maybe you don't fucking know, but that's what it fucking did to me.

Once we'd both come down from our sexual high, Bella had stood from the bed and when I whistled at her flirtatiously, she'd cocked a brow at me and pointed her finger towards the bathroom. Honestly, I felt like a fucking child, but if nothing else, this would give me reason to take better care of myself.

I knew she wasn't doing it to be a bitch, either.

When I'd finished brushing my teeth with the toothbrush she'd bought for me—or so she says—and getting a fix with my stash that I kept here, I headed to the kitchen. It was my turn today.

Bella told me on my way out of the bedroom that she was going to take a shower, and thank fuck that she'd let me kiss her because seeing her in nothing had me ready for another around.

Anyhow, I wanted to take the opportunity to make her breakfast while she showered. Hell, eighty percent of the time I spent with her was while she was slaving over the fucking stove for my dumb ass. I may have had a fix this morning, but without the alcohol, I was good and I didn't take a big enough hit to fuck with my head, so I actually trusted myself in cooking for her.

Today, anyway.

It wasn't going to be anything much, but it would be something at least. Eggs, pancakes, bacon and coffee should do it. Right?

There wasn't much I could give her, but there was nothing I'd ever deny her. Of that I was positive.

As I ran around her kitchen, gathering all of the ingredients, I realized how big of an advantage I had here. Because I'd actually helped her move in and had assisted her in the fucking kitchen, I already knew where everything was. Otherwise, I'd have spent fucking hours just trying to find the fucking measuring spoons and bowls, and I sure as fuck wasn't touching that bitch ass mixer.

Once I had it all together, I grabbed my phone off of the bar where I'd left it last night and turned it on, hoping and praying there wasn't a fucking call from Aro.

When the display came up, I breathed a sigh of relief at seeing a clear screen. Apart from a few texts from a fucked up Harrison at the whorehouse and the normal bitter words of Alice, nothing was new. She'd apparently driven by Bella's sometime before three this morning and saw my car parked outside. I honestly couldn't give a fuck what she thought she knew about what I was doing here or what was going on between Bella and I. Though my mind ran wild just thinking about the shit she was probably spewing to anyone who would listen.

I even had half a mind to show the texts to Bella so that I could enjoy watching her tell the bitch off. Just because I didn't want them murdered didn't mean I didn't find joy in them getting what was coming to them. I guess that since they were my family, I couldn't bring myself to be the one to go off on them, but now there was no need for me to.

That's what my kick-ass…

Fuck.

Was she my girlfriend? Or was she a fuck buddy?

Shit! I knew I'd told her that I was making it official, but I had no idea what she'd taken that to mean. We were caught up in the moment last night. Don't get me wrong; I fucking wanted her to be my girlfriend, but with Bella, I'd learned already that if you called her certain things and she didn't like it, she'd bust your balls over it.

Any fucking way, back to the original point…That's what I had Bella for.

***~C&B~***

**BPOV**

Edward Cullen.

Jesus fucking Christ…was I ever going to find anything about that man that I didn't absolutely fucking love? Physically, I mean.

Last night had been pure bliss, and after the romp this morning, I was effectively sore and felt like jello in all the right places. To explain what it felt like to be with him was impossible. All I knew was that I didn't want it to end.

I hadn't expected things to take off as fast as they did, or for the topic of us being a couple to have been brought up last night, but I didn't regret a minute of it.

Sure, it was fast, and yeah, we may not have been completely ready, but whoever really is?

I half expected to find Edward sprawled out on my bed, waiting for me when I got out of the shower, but was surprised to find the room empty. There wasn't any sign of him.

I prayed he hadn't up and left, but knew that with his track record and how he'd tried to set things straight last night that he wasn't stupid enough to do that again.

It was as I was slipping my crop top over my head that I heard a loud clanging in the kitchen. Dreading whatever it was that he was doing, I sighed and hurried my way into the kitchen, not even taking the time to slip some pants on over my skimpy black panties.

Ready as I was to tear into him, the minute I walked into my kitchen, I was rendered fucking speechless.

Edward stood in front of the stove, obviously cooking, his jeans slung dangerously low in that fucking delicious way. His back was bare, the musculature taunting me as his shoulders flexed from his movements, and as always, his fucking hair was all over the place.

And he was barefoot.

Have I ever mentioned my obsession with men in jeans going around barefoot?

_Fuck!_

"Are you going to stare at my ass all day or are you going to come over here and ream me for having dropped an empty dish by accident?" he questioned without turning around, amusement in voice.

I narrowed my eyes as I approached him, sliding my arms around his waist. As I did so, Edward glanced down at me and smirked as his finger came up to wipe at the corner of my mouth.

"You had a little drool ther…" he started as I pinched his side and tugged on his nipple ring.

He started to laugh, but it didn't last long before his eyes darkened as he looked me over before turning his attention back to the stove.

"Doll, if you expect me to behave, for the love of all that's fucking holy, please put some pants on."

"Seriously?" I scoffed as he stepped aside to start mixing something in a stainless steel bowl. I took over where he had been scrambling some eggs in a skillet. As I stirred them more, he glanced back at me, pleading to me with his eyes. "Why the fuck is it okay for you to walk around here without a shirt and your jeans barely hanging on your fucking hips, yet if I wear something that's even the slightest bit sexy, it becomes a problem?"

"You're getting ready to kick me out of the fucking kitchen, aren't you?" he laughed, looking over at me.

I couldn't help but smile at him as I moved to hug him again, only this time I wouldn't let him go, which eventually led to him turning in my arms. "That depends. Are you sure you know what you're doing in here?"

"Believe it or not, I _can_ work the fucking stove, Doll. You're always cooking, so I figured it was the least I could do to make you breakfast. So go sit your pretty little ass up there by the bar and let me finish."

"Don't forget whose house you're in, baby," I whispered playfully as I rose to my toes to press a kiss to his lips, and as I pulled away, I nipped at his bottom lip.

"Ow," he laughed, wiping at it as he turned back to the stove while I lit up a cig by the bar. "That fucking hurt."

For the following twenty minutes, I watched Edward slave over my breakfast. He seemed effortless although I could tell he was concentrating on not fucking up, most likely because he'd had his fix while in the bathroom earlier.

Everyone once in a while, he'd look over at me, and had taken a few drags off of my cigarette, which to be honest, turned me the fuck on.

His lips lightly pressing against my fingertips as they enveloped the butt of my cigarette…

And the look he had in his eyes as he did so…

He knew what he was fucking doing. Or maybe he didn't. Either way, it should've been fucking illegal.

As he started to plate our food and set it down on the bar, I wondered what had ever happened to the stuff I'd brought to his house for his birthday. I didn't even know if he'd received it or if that asshole, James—or whatever the fuck his name was—had thrown it out without him knowing about it.

"Hey, that day that I went over, did you ever get the birthday card, gift, or anything?"

I watched as he grew quiet before smiling softly. "Shit, I'm sorry. I meant to mention that last night. Guess I forgot. Yeah, I got it, Doll. Sorry to say that the cake was completely destroyed, but I actually have the gift in my car…still wrapped."

"Well why the fuck didn't you open it? That's what gifts are for!" I laughed, watching as he rolled his eyes at me.

"Because, I figured that if you ever forgave me, I'd open with you," he murmured, tossing a piece of scrambled egg at my nose as he took a seat at the bar beside me.

"Well, did you at least open the card?" I questioned as he scooted his barstool closer to me.

"Yes, that I _did_, and thank you," Edward whispered, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to my lips, his hand resting on the small of my back and his thumb slipping just barely under the rim of my panties. "And as for the gift, if you're up for it, there's somewhere I want to take you today. I want to open it there."

"Edward, I'm up for anything as long as I don't have to stay in this damn house. I hate being cooped up and the longer I'm in here, the more I want to clean."

A raucous laugh then burst from his fucking chest, scaring the shit out of me. "_You…_the one that's always on my ass about showering and cleaning up my house and shit, is sitting here actually fucking bitching because you don't want to…"

"Okay, buddy, go look at your fucking pig sty and then take a look at mine….there is no comparison, sweetheart," I shot back, taking a bite of the eggs, which were pretty fucking good.

"Which brings me to my next question; When the fuck are you planning on coming over and cleaning my house?"

"Do I _look _like your bitch?"

"I thought it was in the girlfriend description," he muttered nearly inaudibly.

"What the _fuck _did you just say?" I asked in a low, warning tone. One that I knew he instantly picked up. "The _girlfriend _description?"

"Oh come on, you know what I fucking meant!" he exclaimed, his fork clanging against his plate.

"Yeah, I do know what you meant, you sexist ass!" I shot back, slapping his arm. "But, if you can promise not to freak the fuck out when I throw shit away, I'll help you with your house."

His eyes lit up for a split second before his brow furrowed and he glanced down at his plate. "But not as my girlfriend."

"What?" I questioned, completely caught off guard. "What…I thought I was?"

"You are?" he asked, smirking at me.

I couldn't even formulate a verbal response. I just slapped my palm against my forehead before standing and walking out the back door with the pack of cigarettes.

Minutes later, he emerged as well.

"Is it bad that I'm fucking confused as hell right now?" he asked, scratching at his head as the sun caught the metal off his piercing.

"Well that depends, Edward. After all that happened last night, and all that has happened since I moved here…after everything you've learned about me, do you really think that I'm the kind of girl that's okay with casual sex? Do you honestly believe that I would have been okay just fucking you last night and that having been it?" I asked, taking in a rather large inhale.

"What? Of course I don't fucking think that, Doll. Jesus, I didn't mean for it to come out like that. I just…I didn't know if you'd be okay with the label or not. I told you, it's been fucking years since I did any of this shit."

"Then it's settled. I'm your fucking girlfriend, but next time, fucking talk to me about it instead of making assumptions."

"Deal," he answered, moving closer to me and extending his arms out to me, which I happily stepped into. "Now, go get fucking dressed. I want to get out there before the day is over."

After a passionate kiss—hands fisted in hair, teeth clanging, and all that jazz—I did as he said and went to get ready. I had absolutely no idea where he was taking me, and honestly, I was fucking excited about the idea of him surprising me. And the fact that we would actually be spending the day together, and as a fucking _couple_—pun intended—had me ready to do a mother fucking happy dance.

The trickiest part of all of this, the one challenged I saw us facing in the immediate future was having to explain how this had happened to Charlie. He would be here this weekend and I already knew that while he would accept it, he also would struggle in understanding it. And I had no doubt that he would welcome Edward with open arms, it was just a matter of whether Edward would be willing to walk into them.

Anyhow, there was no use in focusing on things that hadn't yet fucking come up, so I quickly finished getting ready and was just putting the finishing touches on my hair when Edward came walking in. He wore the same clothing that he'd had on yesterday.

I had no idea why I hadn't thought of that before. We would have to swing by his place in order for him to get a fresh change of clothes.

"Wow, it doesn't take you fucking long, does it, Doll?" he asked as I grinned and went over to him, running my nails across the scruff on his jaw before walking out the door and into the living room.

"Are _you _ready?" I asked, smirking at him heatedly.

"That question combined with _that _look is a fucking loaded question, and you know it," Edward laughed as he took his keys off of the bar and moved toward me, wrapping his arm around me and pulling me tight against him.

"Mmm, yeah I do know that, so I guess it's a good thing I get to watch you strip down all over again when we get to your place," I quipped with a wink and pulled away from him, grabbing my purse off of the kitchen chair and walked out the door.

Today was quickly hinting at being a very eventful, adventurous, and sexually charged day, and with Edward fucking Cullen tagging along for the ride, I was more than ready to take the bitch on.

**So as you see, not much happened other than the usual fluff and banter. Next chapter will have a bit more content, preparing you all for the prologue. ****Anywho, let me know what you thought and, as always, leave me some love!**

**T**


	25. Chapter 24

**So, I won't keep you long...I'll save the talk for the bottom!**

**BPOV**

Pulling up into Edward's driveway, the gravel crunching beneath the tires of his Volvo, had my mind in a weird place. I wasn't sure how I was supposed to act once we went inside, considering how badly things had gone the last time I'd been here.

He'd been unusually quiet through the duration of the trip, and I wasn't sure what to make of it. Hell, I wasn't even sure of what to expect from wherever the fuck it was that he planned on taking me today. And I'm not bitching about it because I really was curious to see what had him excited, but honestly, I fucking hated surprises.

Well, actually, that isn't completely true. I hated the _unknown._ Me and new places just don't go together. Blame that on my past.

"Something wrong, Doll?" his velvet voice spoke up, breaking me from my thoughts as he took the key from the ignition.

I glanced over at him to find worry etched in his eyes.

"No. I'm good," I answered with a sigh as I looked out the window, grabbing the door handle and starting to step out of the car.

His hand shot out, taking hold of mine gently. "Look, I know how badly everything went down the last time you were here, Bella, but I fucking promise you, it won't happen again."

"Chill, Edward. I'm okay. I just got lost inside my head for a minute, but know that this time, if I don't get the grand tour, this morning was the last bit of ass you'll be seeing for a while."

Without giving him a chance to respond, I got out of the car and started towards the front door.

Edward then ran up behind me and grabbed me around the waist tightly, burying his head in the crook of my neck, his stubble scratching at my skin. I could literally feel him smiling against me.

"Oh believe me, Doll, soon enough, you'll be intimately familiar with every fucking _surface _of this damn house," he murmured into my ear as his arm slid down my side to grab a handful of my ass right as we reached the door.

Then…

We just fucking stood there.

I stole a look at him over my shoulder, wondering what the fuck he was waiting for.

"The door isn't going to fucking open itself," I told him with an arched brow, to which he laughed.

"Just let me warn you…" he started.

"Edward, I think we've covered the fact that you're not a neat freak and you don't clean."

He continued to stare at me for a moment before shutting his eyes tightly and sighing.

"Fuck…okay," he muttered as he finally opened the door.

My first thought upon stepping foot in his biohazard of a home—and that's what it is—was that I was going to have to try and refrain myself from beating him over the fucking head with a damn brick.

_After _I obtained a fucking hazmat suit.

No one should live like Edward was living. There was shit everywhere. Trash, old dirty dishes that were beginning to mold, laundry scattered here and there, and God only fucking knew how long it had been since the clothes had last seen the washer. It was also something I had seen plenty of during my days of using. When you're high—fuck, when you're _addicted_—all you fucking think about is your next fix. You don't give a shit about your living conditions.

So, it was undeniable; my boyfriend was a fucking slob, and thank fuck I'd found him because I was going to get this shit fixed and as soon as fucking possible.

After taking a minute to take it all in, I turned to look at him, and I couldn't help but feel bad for him. Shame and guilt were written all over him. His shoulders were hunched, his head down and his eyes trained on the floor, while his hands were shoved deep into the pockets of his jeans, pulling them further down his hips.

And fucking sue me if you will, but that shit turned me on.

"How long do you plan on staying at wherever it is you're taking me?" I asked.

Edward's eyes lifted, meeting mine in shock then narrowed. "Doll, you realize I was only fucking with you this morning, right?"

"Yes, you were indeed _fucking _with me this morning, but that's beside the point," I quipped, knowing that he'd caught the innuendo.

"Haha, fucking funny one you are. Seriously, Bella, this is my mes…"

"All right, look here dammit; you are _not _staying another fucking day or night here until we get this place cleaned up, Edward. This is ridiculous, you realize that, right?"

"You really want to help me clean this shit?" he questioned flatly.

"Just answer my question dammit!" I exclaimed with a laugh. "How long are we staying out today?"

"I don't know…a few hours? I haven't really thought that far ahead."

I sighed, took another look then turned to him, lifting his chin up with the tip of my finger, his fucking beautiful green eyes looking sheepishly into my own.

"Okay, here's what's going to happen: I want you to go get changed, preferably into _clean_ clothes, and by clean, I mean clothes that haven't been worn since they came out of the fucking dryer. Afterwards, we'll go where it is you're wanting to go, but we _are _cleaning this house tonight."

"We are?" he groaned, but then quickly dropped the attitude when he saw that I wasn't fucking playing. "Shit, okay. Well in that case, any chance of making a pit stop at the costume shop downtown?"

"Why the _hell_ would we need to stop at a fucking costume shop?"

"Doll, if you're cleaning my house, I want to fucking enjoy it, and what better way to do that than to turn your beautiful ass into my own, personal French maid?" he suggested with a sexy as shit smirk and a devilish glint in his eye.

I didn't let it faze me, at least not to the point of him taking notice. Instead, I gave him my best come hither grin, sexily slid my hand up his abdomen and as I reached his chest, I grabbed hold of his pierced nipple and twisted.

"Dick!" I gritted out as he howled in pain, laughing through it. "Go get fucking dressed."

"You aren't coming to watch my fucking striptease?" he jokingly questioned, and he actually sounded disappointed. "I thought you wanted the grand tour?"

"Pfft…yeah, that was _before _I saw the state your house is in. We'll do the tour when we're cleaning."

"Oh come on, Doll. I won't lie, my room is bad, but it's not _this _bad, I fucking swear. Besides, I can't smell for shit right now, and if you expect me to dress in something I haven't already worn once or twice since I last washed clothes then I'm going to need your help."

"Jesus fucking Christ, Edward! Don't you at least hang up your clothes when they're clean?"

"Doll," he started, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me tight against his chest, his nose brushing mine. "I'm pretty fucking sure you know the answer to that."

I shook my head at the smart ass look he was giving me and pressed a rough kiss to his lips, licking my own after doing so. "This striptease better be worth my while, Cullen."

"Mmm, fuck…as good as that kiss was, I'm afraid to tell you that you've been had, Doll. I don't dance. Tease? Definitely. But…"

"Shut the fuck up already so we can go get you changed, okay?" I told him with a laugh, silently disappointed at him backing out of my striptease.

Fucker.

With that beautiful, blinding smile of his shining at me over his shoulder, my heart faltered and my body began to follow him up the stairs.

And ladies, let me just say that the view of his ass was something to behold, which in turn made me fucking horny again.

Come to think of it, I seemed to have pretty much been in that state of mind since the moment he threw me against the fridge last night. Not that I was complaining, but I was really going to have to work on that shit or we would be stuck with one hell of a fucking problem.

Especially with Charlie coming in.

And to be going to Edward's fucking bedroom of all places certainly didn't help.

"You okay, Doll?"

I glanced up to see that we were now standing in front of the doorway that I assumed led to his bedroom and Edward was standing with a smug as shit smirk on his lips.

"What the fuck are you smiling about?"

"Right," he scoffed. "Come on."

To my surprise, Edward had told the truth. While his room was by _no_ means clean, it was nowhere near as bad as the living room and kitchen had been. However, the stench from the mounds of dirty laundry was fucking putrid and I honestly didn't see how it was possible for me to find anything in this fucking room for him to wear that wouldn't make me want to hurl or douse his ass in Febreeze.

***~C&B~***

After nearly an hour of rifling through his closet and dresser, we finally settled on an old black Pantera t-shirt, which quite honestly, was probably a bit too small for him but the way it clung to his toned muscles sold me.

And I didn't need to spray him with any Febreeze. Surprisingly, he had a clean pair of jeans in his dresser; ones with rips at one knees and gashes here and there. He had attempted to put a hat on at one point, but after catching the death glare I was shooting his way, Edward put it down.

Nothing was going to cover that man's hair.

Nothing.

Eventually, we made it to the car. Still not willing to tell me where the hell we were going, Edward stopped for coffee and popped a few pills while we waited in the drive-thru line to pay. It was the first time that he'd ever done it right in front of me, and as much as I hated to say it, seeing it made me uncomfortable. I didn't say anything to him about it though as I didn't want to make him feel like a piece of shit which was exactly what would of happened.

And it wasn't that I wanted fucking pills—because I didn't—it was the knowledge that he was going to feel that rush that only drugs could bring.

I knew at some point, I was going to have to find a way to bring it up to him that I couldn't be there when he had a fix. I just didn't want to hurt him.

"Okay, this is the quietest you've fucking been since you moved back. What's wrong?" he asked, breaking me from my thoughts. I hadn't realized that he'd picked up on the fact that something wasn't right.

"Nothing. I'm just tired."

"Doll," he said quietly, his hand taking hold of mine as his head tilted in my peripheral vision. "Don't bullshit me. What's…"

He paused and when I glanced over at him, I saw in his eyes that without me even saying anything, what he'd just done had dawned on him.

I really needed to work on building a few of those walls back up.

"Fuck, Bella, I'm sorry. I didn't even fucking think of that," he gritted, slamming his palm against the steering wheel and then bracing his elbow against his door so he could rest his head against his fist.

"Eddie, baby, it's okay; I swear, I'm fine," I whispered to him, taking the hand that had hit the wheel into my own.

Instead of answering me, he just looked out the window and shook his head.

"No, it's not okay, Bella. I knew your history; for fuck's sake, you _told _me and I just straight up had a fix right in fucking front of you. I know that if I were in your shoes, I'd be pissed."

"Look at me, dammit," I bit out as his head jerked over in my direction, his eyes sorrowful. "Do I look like I'm pissed at you? Because I'm not. It's okay," I reiterated as I ran my hand through his hair.

He slowly smiled after looking at me a long moment and gently squeezed my hand. "You realize that you're the only fucking person in the world, other than myself, that I've ever let fucking touch my hair."

"And I don't think I've ever met anyone quite as good as you are at changing the subject," I laughed, leaning over to rest my head on his shoulder as he pulled the car up to the window. "You cool now?"

"Honestly, no, but if you say you're okay then I'll let it go. But please, Doll, if you ever see me about to do that again, stop me. I don't want to make anything harder for you," he murmured, kissing my head right as the window opened.

Of course, it just had to be some punk ass, perky little bitch that eye-fucked Edward over and again. I couldn't blame her; he was fucking gorgeous, but I wasn't going to say anything about it either. And I didn't need to. I knew without a doubt that when it came to Edward and I's relationship, I had fucking nothing to worry about. Especially considering that I was the first woman in at least two years that he'd even considered giving the fucking time of day to.

_However,_ that bitch was fucking asking for it when I saw her name with a number and fucking smiley face scribbled onto the back of the receipt. But, before I could say anything or so much as shoot a warning glance her way, Edward set the bitch straight.

"Seriously?" he asked her flatly. "Are you really so fucking desperate for a fuck that you're ignoring the fact that I've got my fucking hot girlfriend right here beside me?" he exclaimed, his voice raising as he then took the receipt and crumpled it in his hand before throwing it back through the window and directly at the girl. "Have some fucking respect, bitch."

Then he took off. While I still wanted to beat the ever loving shit out of her, Edward had done well enough. There was no way that the other employees inside hadn't heard his lashing, and she was undoubtedly humiliated.

I could live with that.

"Can you believe that shit?" he asked me with a disbelieving grin as he sped away from the coffee shop.

"Yes, actually I can, but I kind of wish you'd have let me handle her," I grumbled.

"Doll, I may be out of practice with relationships, but I fucking know how bad that would have looked had I not said anything. And I know _you_; you'd have fucking slaughtered that bitch."

"Well, whatever," I scoffed. "I'll just come back later in the week when your ass isn't with me."

Edward then brought my hand to his mouth, chuckling against my knuckles as he continued to drive me to the fucking unknown.

This shit better be worth all the fucking anxiety I was feeling due to it.

***~C&B~***

Before long, we turned down an all too familiar road; one I hadn't been down in fifteen years. Not much had changed. Not the house on the corner with the crooked, dilapidated porch. Not the broken, ghetto-rigged mailbox in front of the Thomas' house, and certainly not the massive oak tree that overshadowed the house that I'd once called home.

Due to all that had transpired between Edward and I since the last time I'd seen Esme, I'd completely forgotten about everything she'd said regarding him having bought this house. That and I didn't really know whether to believe her about it or not; there was no telling where she'd been getting her information and whether or not the sources were reliable. Anyway, I remember her saying that it was run down and appeared abandoned, as though it were falling apart, but that wasn't what I saw at all.

Sure, it was old. I mean fuck, that damn house had been nearly forty years old when I was first born and brought home. In my opinion, it had character. The paint was starting to chip off along the vinyl siding and the porch seriously needed touching up, but everything else was eerily the same.

Just being back here brought all the memories back. Considering how shitty my life had turned out since having moved from here so long ago, the good memories brought tears to my eyes. The pain I'd felt when Charlie had pulled me from here years ago came flooding back, fresh as the day it happened.

"Wanna go inside?" Edward's voice asked softly beside me, his hand held in the death grip of my own.

The words wouldn't come, so I nodded. I knew without him saying anything that he understood what this was like for me.

I had no idea what prompted him to bring me back here, but I was beyond grateful.

"Doll," he questioned with a soft laugh, "You're going to have to let go of my hand."

I swallowed roughly as I released his hand and got out of the car. His door shutting sounded out in the background as I slowly took a few steps up the walkway. My eyes were trained to the concrete sidewalk, my handprints and name forever imprinted there, along with Edward's. On another square were Alice and Emmett's, something which left me with mixed feelings. I never in a million fucking years thought that this was where things would end up with the four of us, but it did.

As bitterness started to flood through me, Edward's arms came around my waist, his lips pressing a kiss into my shoulder. "I know what you're thinking, Doll. I felt the same, but it's not worth the anger. Focus on the fact that we're fucking here…together again. That should stand for something, right?"

I smiled to myself in the irony of this situation. Here we were, the tables turned. I was being negative and full of anger, and Edward was the voice of reason, calming me. I turned in his arms and wrapped my arms firmly around his neck, kissing his lips softly and then his cheek.

"Always full of surprises. I never know what's coming next with you," I whispered. "Why'd you bring me back here?" I asked, letting my fingers twist in the ends of his hair. "What made you buy the house?"

His eyes then narrowed for a second as his head pulled back for a second. "How do you know I own it?"

"Esme mentioned something about it over lunch that one day and I completely fucking forgot about it until now. So?"

"Well, that's fucking disturbing to know that_ she_ even knows. Anyway, I bought the house because…I…Remember when I told you about the old abandoned house that I'd taken up living in for a while when I was on the street?"

"You came here?" I asked in amazement. "Why here?"

"After shit happened, this was the only other place that held good memories for me. And," he explained, placing his hand softly on my cheek, "it was the only place I could go to feel close to you. You don't realize how big a part of my life you fucking were, Doll; even after you left. After I got tangled up in all this other bullshit with Aro and his crew, when I had enough money saved up, I bought it. I couldn't fucking stand the thought of someone else laying claim on this house."

"Well, I'm glad you did, Eddie." I tearfully smiled as he winked and turned me back around in his arms, before sticking the key in the lock and leading us inside.

The inside of the house didn't fucking surprise me. Apparently, Edward had never cleaned the mess he'd left behind from when he had taken up shelter here before. I gave him and arched brow over the shoulder to which he scratched his head and looked anywhere but at me.

"If you hadn't told me that you'd fucking stayed here before, I'd never have guessed," I laughed sarcastically.

"You know, if I had known you were moving back, I'd have fucking given you the keys and deed to this house, Doll."

"Whoa, wait a minute," I exclaimed with wide eyes, "the whole fucking house is paid for?"

"Bella, everything I own is completely paid for. I don't owe on anything."

"I wish I'd known about this house too, but now it would just be too much work to restore this house, pay mortgage on the other one, _and _move everything again."

"And if you had a handyman available to do all the renovations, help with getting out of your current house, and help moving in to this one, would you still say it was too much?"

I grew quiet. I knew what Edward was suggesting, and as much as I loved the idea of owning the house I grew up in, it was something I would need to seriously think about. "Just let me think about it, okay?" I told him softly as I pulled away from him and walked into the trashy, yet open space.

Despite the dilapidated condition of the house, little things still stood out. Like the hole in the living room wall next to the fireplace; I would never forget how much trouble we'd gotten into with Charlie when Edward and Emmett had thought it to be a good idea to play baseball in the house using a fireplace poker and a cantaloupe. Or the permanent marker along the door frame of the kitchen where Alice had drawn her own price tags for make believe clothes.

The big chip in the wood on the second to last stair from when Edward had accidentally dropped Charlie's gun still stuck out. But for the life of me, I couldn't fucking remember what he'd been doing with the gun in the first place.

As I looked around, I could still see what the house had once been. And to be honest, most of the work that needed to be done to it was on the outside. All the inside really needed was a good dusting, mopping, and a new paint job. Maybe a few patches here, and a bit of caulking there, but otherwise, everything was still in rather good shape.

Though I hadn't been upstairs and frankly, just thinking about going back into my childhood bedroom or the room my parents had once shared had me a nervous wreck. I was sure Edward had picked up on it too, as he stood with his hands in his pockets, a comforting look in his eyes as he glanced between me and the staircase.

"Doll, all your furniture left with you, remember? What could possibly frighten you up there?"

"It's not that I'm fucking scared, Eddie. It's just overwhelming. Leaving here…leaving all of this behind me is still a really sore spot."

"I'll go upstairs with you," he reassured me, closing the distance between us.

With a heavy sigh, a muttered a muted 'okay', and with his hand clasped tightly in my own, headed for the stairs.

Hearing the steps creak beneath my feet in same way they had back then only made my anxiety that much worse, but my rock behind me helped to push me further along.

Once we got to the doorway of my old bedroom, I was stunned to see that although the room was void of any furniture, there was a sleeping bag, a pillow, and a few framed pictures on the floor next to it. As I took the steps closer to catch a glance of the photos, I turned to look at Edward.

"Sorry, Doll. I, um, kind of forgot I had this stuff in here."

"Edward, what…" I started in confusion.

"I told you that I bought the house and stayed here to be, in a sense, closer to you. Yes, I slept in here, and yeah, I found a few pictures I had of me and you as kids in a box from my old room at Mom and Dad's."

"Well, yeah, I'll admit that it's a little creepy," I smiled, "but it's also sweet…in a way."

Edward then brushed past me and went to sit on the sleeping bag, his knees up and spread as he patted the space between them and looked up at me.

Without a second thought, I crossed the room to him and sat, my back rested snug against his chest.

We sat in silence for what felt like a long period of time, his lips pressing sweet kisses into my hair and on my cheek every once in a while until I felt myself getting close to falling asleep.

"Do you ever wonder how things might have turned out had I never moved?" I questioned in attempt to keep myself awake.

"Are you fucking kidding me with that question, Doll?" he laughed. "I did and _do_, even now."

"What did you see happening in your mind?"

"Oh shit, you're really going there? Man, you are out to humiliate the fuck out of me today, aren't you?"

"Stop being a pussy," I scolded him with a slap to his jean-clad thigh. "Just humor me, please."

"This is going to make me sound like a douchebag, or like I planned you and I getting together. I'll admit that I fucking dreamed about you and I being together in high school, about us graduating and you being valedictorian. Hell, Bella, I would envision our whole lives. You and I with kids of our own over at Mom and Dad's over the holidays with Alice and Emmett's families. Fucking sucks when you wake up and realize that none of that happened, nor will it ever," he muttered, a heavy sigh blowing through my hair.

"It's nice to dream though, and for the record, I don't think you planned it. The night we met shoots that whole illusion of yours to shit."

"What?" he exclaimed, laughing through the word. "What was wrong with how that night went?"

"Well, for one, you started off being an asshole. You blamed me for the burn on your foot, then you literally acted like you didn't give a shit that I'd come back. All you wanted was for me to leave. I had to fucking convince you to let me stay, and you didn't exactly make that easy for me."

"In my defense, it was a little bit of a mindfuck that you were back. That and I had just gotten a new batch of pills after going without them for a period of time. I know; I've had my moments where I haven't treated you the way I should have and I just hope you believe me when I apologize for that. I promise you though, Doll, I _am _going to be better about that."

"I envisioned the same thing, Edward, if its any consolation. But then I'd realize how big of a douche you are and the vision would change," I joked as he tickled my sides and bit my neck in a playful form of retaliation.

"Do you think Charlie would want to see the house when he comes in?"

"I honestly have no fucking idea, baby."

It was the truth. I really didn't know whether he would want to come back here. The memories this house held for him regarding my bitch of a mother made that possibility highly unlikely. And if he were to say yes and then come and fall apart, I'd lose my shit.

"When is he coming again?"

"Supposedly this weekend. When do you work?" I asked quietly, praying he didn't say anytime soon.

"Aro hasn't called so I'm free until they do," he answered back just as quietly.

"So the plans to clean your house can wait until tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah," he answered with a confused tone, "I fucking hope so. Why? I thought you were hell bent on getting it done tonight."

"Oh, I was, but being here in my old…childhood bedroom….and being this close to you, added to the situation earlier with that bitch at the drive-thru, I'm having a change of mind."

"Really?" he questioned, the smile in his voice unmistakable. "And just what did you have in mind?" he throatily asked, his mouth against my ear as his arms came around me, holding me against him tightly.

"Wanna christen this room?" I whispered, turning my head to the side and meeting his smoldering glare.

***~C&B~***

Okay, so it didn't stop at the bedroom. It also continued in the tree house that still stood in the backyard. The memories that place held were the motherload that had actually brought tears to both of our eyes. The tree house had been where we'd always shared our secrets. And it wasn't just Edward and I. It had been all of us.

Once we'd gotten dressed, I remembered what Edward had said about wanting to open his gift here, with me. He hadn't said anything, but I didn't want him to get so caught up in everything else that he forgot so it was while he held me in the corner of the small room that I brought it up.

Edward had thanked me for the reminder and asked me to stay where I was while he ran out to his car and grabbed it. The gift I was giving him was the only piece of my life here that I'd held to throughout the years, so letting go of it wasn't easy, but it was something that needed to be done in attempt to get through to him about the way I saw him. I just hoped he fucking remembered and recognized what I was giving him, otherwise, this was going to be really fucking awkward.

And I had been so caught up in my thoughts that I hadn't heard him come back up. So, when he came up behind me, I jumped about a mile in the air and landed a solid punch to the inside of his right thigh, thankfully missing the goods.

Of course Edward winced and howled but laughed it off after falling beside me. To make up for it, I started rubbing his thigh, attempting to ease the pain away.

That is until he gave me a suggestive, yet smug, look. "Damn, if that's all it takes to get you to pop a feel, hit me any fucking time."

"You are such a pig!" I laughed. "Open it already!"

As he pulled it out from behind his back, I felt a knot form in my throat.

At the sound of the paper ripping, my stomach clenched.

And the gasp that left his mouth as he opened the little box caused my heart to stutter.

His eyes widened he looked up at me, holding the cold, centuries old piece of rock between his fingers.

"Is this…this can't be the same…"

"Believe it, because it is," I whispered, my heart warmed that he'd actually fucking remembered the arrowhead. We'd found it the day after he'd consoled me in his parents' library. He'd thought it would be a good idea to get me out of the house, so we'd taken a walk down to the creek and happened to find it buried in the rock bed on the bank. Edward had given it to me, telling me that it could be something like a good luck charm to me, and for that reason, I'd always held onto it.

Focusing back on him admiring the token from our past, I saw him going for the little card I'd enclosed inside the box and as he flipped it and read it, I saw his eyes begin to water.

I hadn't thought anything about it at the time I'd written it, but after hearing his story, I could see why it affected him the way it had. All I wrote were seven innocent words: 'That little boy is still in there.'

**First, let me apologize for having been horrible with keeping up with reviews :( It's not that I don't appreciate them, because believe me, I DO! I've just been plagued with a bad bout of pleurisy over the holidays and it pretty much prevented from doing anything. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and especially hope you all enjoy the prologue in its entirety which will post in just a second. LITERALLY! ;D**

**T**


	26. Chapter 25

**And HERE IT IS! THE PROLOGUE! FINALLY!**

**ENJOY!**

**BPOV**

The feeling in my stomach was one that I couldn't describe. Tonight was either going to make or break Edward. It would be his final attempt at trying to gain his family back. I can't say that I was pleased with it though. In my opinion, they didn't deserve to be in his life after the way they'd treated him. The whole damn situation sucked and was one big clusterfuck because, while I despised them and honestly thought he was better off without them, I also sympathized with Edward's need for them. It was his life, his family, and if he wanted to try and repair the damage, I wasn't going to stop him. I would support him, just as I had for the past month and a half.

And exactly the same way I did two days ago when he confessed that he wanted to get clean, get his life back, and put all of this shit behind him. Edward wasn't a fool; he knew that this wasn't going to be a walk in the park, and was most likely the hardest thing he'd ever have to do.

The whole conversation had taken me off guard as he had brought it up one night while we were laying together in comfortable silence. And the fact that he'd brought it up on his own was significant enough. It only proved that the true Edward was still in there somewhere, something I'd known all along. For him to have enough sense and be capable of making a decision _himself _to become sober showed that he hadn't fully given himself over to the criminal junkie lifestyle, no matter how much it seemed otherwise.

His words that night still both shocked me, and warmed my heart. I knew with utmost fucking certainty that there was nothing in this damn world that I wouldn't do for him. He'd already grown to mean that fucking much to me.

"You fucking look like I feel, Doll. Everything okay?" he asked, giving my hand a squeeze with his own as they sat intertwined on the console in his car. We were currently on our way to his parents' house for Sunday dinner.

"Just worried about you, that's all," I answered, glancing out the window. I knew that I had to be showing my emotions pretty fucking strong for him to have said that I looked the way he felt. See, he hadn't used in two and a half days, so needless to say, Edward was feeling pretty fucking shitty. Just this morning, his muscles were spasming and causing extreme pain, his stomach was nauseous, and he was extremely irritable—all were symptoms from the withdrawals, which was something I knew all too much about.

And I couldn't help but admire him for how he was dealing with it all. Like now. Despite the pain and discomfort he was feeling, he kept his head up and was even smiling a bit more. Yesterday evening, after dinner, Edward had tried to downplay everything with me, saying that he was okay and it wasn't all that bad, but I knew better. It was all bullshit and I'd called him on it. There was no need for him to hide that stuff from me considering I already knew exactly what he was going through.

I'd noticed that in the past week or so—since our reconciliation—he'd begun this whole 'protect Bella from the ugly side of the world' persona. I don't know why or even where it came from but it was becoming highly fucking annoying. Don't get me wrong; it was sweet and all, but there was nothing he or anyone else could expose me to that I hadn't seen before. This was supposed to be about me helping him. Me being there for him.

Not the other way around.

"Doll, I'll be fucking fine, I swear. I've got thick skin in the case things turn ugly," he answered, leaning over and kissing my cheek.

I knew what that meant, even if he didn't say it. The kissing my cheek was supposed to be a distraction from how he really felt; he knew any touch of his lips to my skin turned me to a sputtering, wet and horny puddle of goo.

Not this time.

Deep down, I think he was scared shitless due to not knowing which way things would go.

But there was no time to debate that as we had just pulled into the long drive of a huge home, immediately catching sight of Emmett and Alice out on the front porch.

Oh happy happy joy joy!

_Not!_

Edward sucked in a quick breath as he parked the car, then hung his head. "Well, this should be pleasant," he grumbled as he stepped out of the car and made his way over to my side. He'd also made it perfectly clear that I was not to open my own car door. Who would've thought that Edward was fucking old-fashioned?

I stared out the windshield, watching as Alice stood on the porch, hands on her hips, and a glare in her eyes. Emmett stood with his arms crossed over his chest and his eyes narrowed. There was one reason and one reason alone as to why they were fucking waiting on the porch. They intended to ambush Edward and talk down to him as they always did.

When Edward opened my door, I stepped out and took hold of his hand, my other hand going up to rest against his neck. His eyes looked curiously into my own, the sheer beauty of them making my breath catch for a moment.

Great. Now I sound like cheesy fucking romance novel.

"Shit, am I really _that _good? I haven't even touched you, and you're already all starry eyed," he murmured with an underlying hint of amusement.

"Fuck you, Cullen," I answered, feeling the blush color my cheeks. "Listen, you and I both know why they're waiting out here rather than inside. I want you to do me a favor, okay?"

Edward arched a high brow in skepticism. "Doll, anytime you ask me for something, it's never anything good."

I rolled my eyes at him, knowing damn well he was referring to the incident at the duck pond last week—a story for another time. "I'm serious, Eddie. From what I've seen so far, and what you've told me, every time you get confronted by the family, you stand there and take it. I know that you're used to it, but please, stand up for yourself tonight. Don't let them get away with that shit."

"But it's so much more fun watching you get riled up when you're telling 'em off," he smirked.

"I'm fucking serious, Edward. I can't watch that go on anymore. You don't deserve it," I told him quietly, taking a step closer and moving my hand from his neck to his cheek.

He watched me for a moment before releasing a heavy sigh and closing his eyes briefly. "Okay, I'll try," he whispered back, craning his neck down and resting his forehead against mine.

"Thank you," I said with a smile.

"You know, they're watching us…probably plotting my fucking death as we speak."

"Let 'em watch," I replied, tipping my head back a bit and touching my lips to his.

As he kissed me, I plainly heard Alice mutter, "Motherfucking piece of shit."

Then Emmett followed with, "You've got to be fucking kidding me. What is she thinking?"

I knew Edward had heard them as well, because as soon as the words left their lips, he became more forceful and passionate with me. I let him have his fun because it was his way of rubbing it in their faces, but just that action put a certain feeling in my gut.

Shit was going down tonight, and none of it would be good.

The worst part of that problem…

Edward would be the one paying the price.

When he finally pulled away, I slid my thumb along his lip line, wiping the reddish colored lip gloss from his skin. His eyes shone down at me heatedly as his lips curved upward in a devilish smirk.

I chuckled at him, laced our fingers together and followed as he walked us over to the porch where Alice and Emmett still waited; only now they wore disgusted expressions their faces.

"What the fuck was that?" Alice shrieked as quickly cut Edward off at the top step and got in his face.

"I don't know, Alice," Edward stated mockingly. "A kiss?"

"I thought I warned you to stay the fuck away from her, Edward. All you're going…"

"Back the fuck up, Alice. This is none of your fucking business," Edward said lowly, pushing past her and pulling me with him.

I couldn't have cared less that she or Emmett were giving me the stink eye as well. I was more impressed that Edward had actually shot back at her. I didn't know if it had anything to do with what I'd said minutes before or not, but in a self-satisfying, arrogant way, I hoped it did.

***~C&B~***

After nearly thirty of the most awkward tension filled minutes of my life, Edward and I left the family room—yeah I know, fucking weird—to gather with the rest of the family in the dining room. We'd hadn't spoken to anyone but each other, and quite frankly, the dirty looks and whispering in each other's ears that everyone else was doing was beginning to piss me off more and more.

I was _this _close to fucking blowing my top and unleashing the full extent to my feelings on them all.

Edward had obviously picked up on my frustration too because he tightened his grip on my hand and stroked his thumb over the skin of my hand in a soothing manner. I hated myself for not being able to keep a grip on myself. Here we were at Edward's parents' house—the most uncomfortable place for him to be—and he was trying to soothe me. He was the one in need.

As the anger at myself built in my chest, I tried to pull my hand out of his grasp, but he only gripped tighter and leaned down to whisper in my ear.

"Don't, please. I need this, Doll." He finished his plea with a kiss to my temple and then met the stares of everyone else at the table.

Emmett was staring a hole in me, like he was fucking superior to me and his disapproval should mean something. And to think that when I first moved here, I actually thought that he would be my ally in getting Edward back on track.

Carlisle fumed with rage. I could see it in his fucking eyes, and knowing what I knew now about how everything went down, I wanted to find the nearest gun and put a fucking bullet through his head. How he'd betrayed and ruined Edward's life made me sicker than fuck. If you ask me, he didn't fucking deserve to breathe. He didn't deserve Edward or his so called 'perfect family', and he certainly didn't deserve to walk this fucking earth as a free man. He needed to put locked away in a damn jail cell and made someone's bitch.

Everyone began to sit down at the table and Edward—like the gentleman he is—pulled out my chair for me and then, after I sat down, scooted it closer to his. Alice snorted, Carlisle harrumphed, and Emmett surprised me by slamming his palm down on the table.

"I'm not going to sit here and watch this shit," he snarled in my direction. "What the hell are you thinking, Bella?"

"Excuse me?" I said loudly, raising a brow, daring him to say another word.

"You fucking heard him. What the hell are you thinking? Getting involved with him is going to get you killed. Don't you see that?" Alice fumed.

"Well I didn't ask for your fucking opinion, did I?" I questioned back non-rhetorical.

"I don't give a shit if you asked for our opinions or not, Bella," Emmett shouted. "We cared about you. We wanted you home and welcomed you into our lives. Alice even helped you get settled. You've done nothing but act like a spoiled, know it all, fucking bitch since you've been here. In your eyes, Edward's the damn golden boy and we're all pieces of shit for not wanting anything to do with him. So, why the fuck are you even here?"

"Answer me this," Carlisle started. "How many times has he tried to give you drugs?"

"Actually, that's why we're fucking here. Bella didn't understand why I would give any of you the time of fucking day anymore, but considering all of the shit that's been spewed at me for the past few years, I felt like you all should know. I've decided to, with Bella's help, get clean."

"Bullshit! You think we're actually going to fucking fall for that?" Alice screeched.

"He hasn't touched shit for going on three days, and before you try and shoot that down too, I've been with him every second since he first made the decision."

"Why would we believe you?" Emmett interjected. "All those times I pleaded with you to get clean, all those times I begged you to get right again…then Bella shows up and suddenly you're ready to quit the shit?"

I watched as Edward's eyes bulged. "You asked me _once, _Em. _Once! _No one else gave a flying fuck. All they cared about was pinning me for something I didn't do. And what happened? The minute I told you no, you dropped me too."

"Let me ask you something, Edward," Emmett started. "What was so different about Bella? Why are you so willing to change for her but not for us?"

"Are you kidding me with that shit? You're really going to ask me that question?" Edward said with a laugh.

"I'll tell you what's different," Alice exclaimed bitterly. "With Bella, he doesn't have to worry about her seeing through his bullshit. All she's done since she moved here was stay up Edward's ass and has reamed us at every fucking turn. What I saw outside confirms it for me. Bella's a fucking whore, and Edward's only telling her he's getting clean so she won't hold out on him."

I wanted to scream, to lunge across the table and bitch slap the ever loving fuck out of her, but something unexpected happened. Hurt began to wash over me. Why…I didn't know. It wasn't like I actually cared what they thought about me.

But the fact that I was trying to help Edward with no ulterior motives and was now being called a whore for it fucking stung.

Then my mind moved to how she actually had the audacity to make such a bogus accusation considering all the shit she'd pulled sent pure rage coursing through my veins. It was time for me to really step up and explain myself, and I didn't give a damn what it would cost me in doing so.

I glanced over at Edward, only to see that he was shaking and eyeballing Alice with a murderous stare.

I slowly stood from my seat and threw my napkin on the table, taking in a shaky breath.

"Here's the deal and I want you all to listen very fucking closely because I won't be repeating this shit again. I am not, nor have I ever been, a whore. So Alice, go fuck yourself. I moved here to escape the shit storm I'd created for myself back home. Believe it or not, I was worse off three months ago than Edward is now," I took that moment to roll my sleeves up. Edward stopped me midway.

"Doll, please, don't do this to yourself. I can handle…"

"Edward, enough is enough. They need to fucking see where I'm coming from," I answered him, extending my forearms out so that they could all see the scars of my past. "I was addicted to heroin for two years. I was involved in shit that would both shock you and turn your stomachs. Eventually, I reached a bottom and when I thought all hope was lost and I was on the verge of ending my own life, Charlie saved me. My father put his anger and disappointment behind him and helped me through it. He was my lifeline. Through his belief in me and his support, I made it through rehab. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be here before you now, of that I can assure you. When I got here, I was beyond thrilled that I was finally going to be reunited with my family, but what I saw made me sick. To know that Edward was suffering the same pain that I had and unlike me, he was receiving no support at all. Instead, he's ridiculed, treated as the scum of the earth and a disgrace to the family. And then to learn the full extent of the hand each of you played in ruining his life… None of you deserve to have him in your life," I cried. "He has more compassion and love in his heart than the six of you combined and that really says something about his character."

"The full extent? Right, I can just about imagine the horseshit that little bastard has filled your head with," Carlisle spat. "So you were an addict, who's to say you aren't doing the drugs with him now? Or maybe you really are trying to help him get clean…he'll never stay that way because the good that was in him once upon a time is no longer there. He's a piece of trash with no consideration for anyone but himself. If you continue on this path, Bella, you'll wind up dead just like the innocent girl that fell victim to him years ago."

I didn't even have a chance to respond. Edward jumped from his seat, grabbed his glass of wine and threw it against the wall behind Carlisle's head. "_Innocent girl?! Victim to _me_?!_ You're fucking unbelievable, you know that?" he scoffed. "Why don't you tell everyone here the fucking truth for once? Huh? I'm not going to sit here and cover for you anymore. Those days are over. Bella's shown me that there is a redeemable side of me and I _can _get my fucking life back. All these years, I've suffered through name calling, betrayal, and the fucking horror of my family disowning me and for what?! I'm done taking all the blame for your fuck ups while you get to go on and live your happy, merry fucking life!"

Esme's eyes widened and she turned to Carlisle with fear in her eyes. "Carlisle, what is he talking about?"

"He's delusional, Mae! This is just another of his ploys for trying to pull the wool over our eyes!"

"Really?!" I interjected. "Who's pulling the wool over whose eyes?! I know, Carlisle. I know what you fucking did and the fact that you were so willing to stoop as low as to make your son take the fall for it is disgusting. I wonder how your dear wife here would feel to know that while she was home cooking your dinner and cleaning your house every night, you were at Edward's home fucking that drugged up bitch! A bitch drugged up by medicine that _you _prescribed her!"

"You bitch!" Alice screeched, lunging across the table at me, but thankfully Edward jumped in front of me and stopped her.

"Don't you fucking touch her," he growled before placing his hands behind him and gripping my hips, walking me backwards. "You know, I honestly thought that you all would actually fucking understand for once. That one of you would at least say you were happy or proud of me for wanting to get clean, but all you can do is spew out more hateful fucking words. You wanted to be rid of me, well….you got it," he rasped, his voice caving under the fragile state of his emotions.

Edward then turned to me, wrapped his arm firmly around my waist and led me out of the house and back to the car.

Once we were back in the car and headed back to my place, I lost it. I never intended to go that far tonight, and I knew Edward didn't expect things to turn so ugly so fast.

"Edward, I'm so sorry…I shouldn't h…"

"It's okay, Doll. I wish I'd had some warning, but you did something I haven't had the balls to do for a little over two years," he shakily answered, seeking out my hand with his right as he drove.

It was painfully obvious to me that he barely had a grip on his emotions, and I was literally just waiting for the moment where he finally snapped and let it all out. The secrets he'd been holding in for years were finally out in the open. Of course, it was up to them as to whether they believed him or not, but at least it was a little weight off of his chest just knowing it was out there now.

***~C&B~***

When Edward finally pulled up to my house, I was sure he was going to stay the night again as he had for the past two weeks or so, but instead, he left the motor running and made no effort to get out of the car.

I arched a brow and looked at him worriedly. "What's up? Aren't you coming in?"

"Not tonight, Doll. I just…I need to clear my head, that's all," he murmured quietly, cupping my cheek and leaning in to gently kiss me.

I heard him sniffle as he pulled away and my heart clenched. He was broken and shattered, worse than he had been before. All I wanted to fucking do was wrap my arms around him and hold him to me tightly.

"Edward, baby, you're a mess. I don't like the idea of you going home and having no one there for you. Let me come with you, please," I whispered, pressing my lips to his forehead and smoothing his hair back.

"Bella, I need to do this…I need…I need…"

"You need one last fix, don't you?" I asked quietly.

He lifted his tearful eyes to mine and breathed choppy breaths. "Yes. Fucking yes I do, and…"

"You don't have to explain to me, okay? Just…be careful, and call or text me to let me know you're okay."

"I promise, Doll. Now, get your beautiful ass inside, and thank you," he told me, tangling his hand in my hand as he planted one hell of a goodnight kiss on my lips, the flavor of him permeating every corner of my mouth.

And it was as I stood wobbly-legged on my porch steps that I watched my heart drive away.

As soon as I gained some semblance of myself back, I headed inside the house and it was like a ton of bricks slammed into my chest. The anger and rage came flooding back and after mixing myself a quick Crown and coke, I fished my phone from my purse and dialed the one person I knew would answer their fucking phone.

"What the _fuck _was that shit you spewed tonight?" Emmett yelled into the phone. "Do you have any fucking clue what you've done?"

"All I did was telling the fucking truth. Edward's lived with that bullshit hanging over his head for years, Emmett. It was time that the truth came out and you all learned what kind of person your father really is. I'm a damned good judge of character, and the river of tears that flowed from your brother's eyes as he told me everything that had happened was as real as moon in the damned sky."

"Edward's a fucking liar, Bella. The only damned reason he told you that bullshit was so that you'd stay behind him. He doesn't have anyone else to mooch off of for money or to bail him out of fucking jail when he fucks up."

"The only lies I'm hearing are the ones coming from your family's mouths. Why don't you ask your mother, Emmett? She told me that she knew something wasn't right about all of it from the get go. She's been suspicious of Carlisle all along. Answer me this, have any of you even bothered to sit back and think about what was said tonight? I mean really let it roll over in your mind? Have you even thought to question Carlisle's credibility? Or Alice's for that fucking matter? Think about it! Edward didn't start doing drugs until after that bitch had already been killed. Now, if he was the one that supposedly got her hooked on the fucking drugs, don't you think he'd have been doing them sooner? The way he was talked to tonight was the worst thing I've ever witnessed. It took a hell of a lot of balls and nerves for him to come forward and admit that he needed help and wanted to get clean. And despite all that you have done to and said about him, he still wanted you guys to know. He actually believed you would support him. Not necessarily as a fix it all, but at the very least a sort of truce between you all. But you just proved that you all deserve every bit of fucking karma that comes your way."

Not even waiting to hear his reply, I ended the call and stormed out onto the back patio for a smoke.

***~C&B~***

Here it is, four o'clock in the fucking morning, and I still haven't heard from Edward. Well, okay, that wasn't entirely true. He'd sent a quick text, telling me that he'd flushed his pills and had decided that he'd already made it two days. I replied in support of him, but had yet to receive anything else.

I knew I was being obsessive and expecting way too much of him, but I knew Edward. I saw the fucking state he was in when he left, I knew how he dealt with that kind of pressure, and considering the fucking withdrawal symptoms he was experiencing, I was worried about him.

If the withdrawals became bad enough, he would need medical attention, and most times, when the situation got that severe, people weren't conscious enough to pick up a phone and call for help.

It was with that thought that I began pacing uncontrollably back and forth across my living room.

My palm was sweaty and my knuckles were white as I gripped my cell phone in my hand, pulling at my hair with the other.

_Why the fuck isn't he answering his damn phone?_

_Have the symptoms already taken over? Has he finally reached his breaking point?_

I listened as the ringing droned on in my ear, going straight to voicemail each time. I'd already left countless messages, and I needed a new tactic. I had to get to him; he shouldn't be alone at a time like this. I remembered all too well how it was for me when I'd gone through the same hell, and I would never have wished that upon anyone.

My stomach clenched and my heart dropped as the tears that had built in my eyes began to fall. I would never forgive myself–or them–if something happened before I could reach him. I had one last option, and as desperately as I didn't want to use it, I had no other choice. I hurriedly dialed the number into my phone and prayed that they'd pick up.

"Calling to bitch me out more, Bells?"

"Cut the shit, Emmett. I need to know where the fucking spare key is."

"Oh, what's the matter? Is my wonderful brother shutting you out now?"

Just the sound of his obnoxious, hateful voice made my blood boil. "I swear to God, one day you're going to regret everything you've done and said about him, and you'll be begging him for forgiveness. And to answer your question, no, he's not shutting me out. He wouldn't do that, not to me. Something's wrong, and if I don't get to him I'm going to lose my fucking mind," I sobbed, my voice panicked and stomach sick.

There was a long pause of silence before the dick spoke again. "I don't know why you care so damn much about him. Why the fuck are you defending him all the time knowing what he's done to this family?"

"God dammit, Emmett! I don't have time for your bullshit! Do you know where the spare key is or not?!" I shouted into the phone, having had enough.

"I have the key, Bella, but I don't think you should go alone. If he's under the influence…"

"I am going alone, Emmett. None of you fucking deserve to be anywhere near him, and besides, I know how to handle him if he is; I've fucking been where he is right now. And he won't hurt me; he has more control than any of you give him credit for, and that's not the kind of person he is. Anyway, I'm on my way. When I get there, you'll give me the key and let me go. I don't want any shit."

Without giving him a chance to say anything back, I snapped my phone shut and grabbed my keys from the bar before racing outside to my car.

As I sped toward Emmett and Rose's, I continuously dialed his number, hoping to God that he would answer.

But he never did.

Each time I heard his soft voice through his voice mail, my tears fell harder and the fear settled deep in my stomach, eventually rising to my throat.

When I pulled up to their house, I jumped out and found Emmett waiting on his front porch, arms crossed over his chest. "Why didn't you ever mention that you were an addict?"

I wanted to fucking hit him. I'd had my quota of Emmett's stupid questions and the concerned faces of the rest of the Cullen clan; I couldn't stand anymore. "Do you really think that I would volunteer that information after seeing how you've treated him because of his addiction? None of you have given him the fucking time of day. None of you have even tried to understand what he's going through, and I know for a fucking fact that none of you ever asked for his side of the story about what happened two years ago. So back the FUCK OFF," I spat at him as I snatched the key from his hand and ran back to my car.

*~C&B~*

The rain pelted against my windshield as I pushed my old Ford pickup at a furious pace through Forks. It felt like I was in a race against time. I had to reach him before he gave in and had another fix. The angry words his family had spewed at him over dinner could have very easily ruined all the progress he'd made in the past day or so. It had been his decision to try and get clean, but that was when he assumed he'd have their support. The withdrawal symptoms had already begun to set in before dinner, and I was fairly certain without seeing him that they had multiplied in intensity since his abrupt departure from his parents' house.

Nearly forty-five minutes had passed before I finally pulled into his drive. All the lights were out, but my heart faltered at seeing his Volvo haphazardly parked. At least I knew he was here. I jumped out of my pick-up, grabbing my purse and the key Emmett had given me.

My body was one big ball of nerves as I approached the front door, not knowing what to expect. I pounded my fists against the door, screaming his name. Getting no response, I took in a deep breath, entered the key into the lock and felt my heart freeze, not sure what I would find on the other side of the door.

I very slowly eased the door open, and opened my eyes to his darkened entryway. There wasn't a sound to be heard and that alone frightened me. I kept walking, cautiously looking over my shoulder and around every corner so as not to startle him when I found him. The soles of my shoes squeaked against the smooth marble tiles of the floor as I stepped into the kitchen. I had yet to see anything out of the ordinary. My heart was beating at a fast pace, and I could feel my body trembling with nerves as the adrenaline coursed through my body.

After finding nothing in the kitchen, I made my way into the living room and as I rounded the side of the couch, my heart slammed into my throat. There, on the floor next to his crumpled body, was his 9mm. His hair, skin, and shirt were completely saturated in a cold sweat, and he was breathing unevenly. I ran to the edge of his coffee table, falling to my knees beside him. But as I focused on the weapon beside him, there was a sickening feeling growing in my stomach. What had he been about to do with that gun?

I was brought out of my panicked thoughts as his muscles spasmed violently, causing him to let out an anguished cry and curl up into a fetal position. I wiped my nose on my sleeve and hooked my arms under his armpits, pulling him with all my might into my lap. He groaned and started to weakly fight against me until I placed my lips against his dampened forehead and ran a hand through his hair.

"Shh, Edward…I'm here," I cried. "You're going to be okay."

"B-Bella, you s-shouldn't b-be here. Y-you d-don't need to see m-me like th-this," he stuttered with a strained voice that sounded alien to the velvety softness I was used to hearing.

"I'm not leaving you, dammit," I told him, clutching him tightly to me. I felt him fist his hands in my shirt and struggle to pull himself closer. I watched as his eyes fluttered open, bloodshot and glazed with the excruciating pain he was under as he looked at me.

Tears fell heavily down his cheeks as he struggled to swallow, his eyes pleading with me. "Help me, please," he cried out hoarsely.

"I will, I promise," I whispered, brushing a few strands of damp hair from his forehead. "I need to know, Edward…what were you doing with that gun?"

"I he-heard a noise outs-side and t-thought it was Aro's men, b-but I didn't ma-make it to the door."

"Come on, let's get you in bed, baby," I told him, my voice breaking with emotion.

"N-no!" he barked out firmly. "We've got to g-get a hotel. They'll f-find us here."

"Edward, why on earth would Aro be coming after you? I thought everything was fine. What reason does he ha…"

"Doll, it's not me the-they're after; it's you."

**I realize that the chapter jumped ahead in time from the previous chapter, but I couldn't keep you guys waiting anymore. As I'm sure some will ask, Charlie wound up having to postpone his trip which will be brought up somehow in the next chapter. I just don't want there to be any confusion.**

**So, what did you all think? Did Edward and Bella handle the dinner well? **

**Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and New Year!**

**Leave some love!**

**T**


	27. Chapter 26

**SURPRISE!**

**See ya the bottom!**

**EPOV**

I'd always heard of hitting rock bottom. I knew guys that had claimed to experience just that, but I never truly believed there was any such thing.

Until now.

I was fucking living it.

I wasn't sure what the fuck I expected to happen at dinner, but it sure as hell wasn't what actually transpired. I wasn't surprised by their blatant shunning of me and their harsh words, or their refusal to listen to the truth as I had given them no reason to trust me—ironic considering that they were the ones who'd fucked _me_.

I was more hurt and angry than anything. Having Bella there beside me had helped, but as much as I wanted her to be enough…as much as I didn't want to admit it, she wasn't what I craved. She wasn't what I desperately fucking needed.

I wanted to feel numb, and there was only one fucking thing that could do that for me.

Knowing the full extent of what exactly it was that Bella and I had done tonight made it all the more painful. I'd fucking told the truth. I'd ruined my mother's life and destroyed all remnants of the relationships—if you can even fucking call them that—with my siblings.

And with the truth being out now, and knowing that there really was nothing that I could fucking do to garner support from them, the deal with Aro was basically fucking void. His threat on their life was pretty much all he had to taunt me with, but as it stood right now, I couldn't have given two shits whether he killed them or not.

Awful as it is to say, he'd probably be doing me a fucking favor by relieving that weight off of my chest.

But those thoughts just made the pain in my heart scream that much louder as I sped towards my house.

I fucking hated leaving Bella; it felt like something was missing when she wasn't with me. However, she'd made it pretty clear that she wasn't comfortable being in my presence when I actually did the drugs, and I totally understood that. That and I fucking refused to bring that shit back into her life. I hated the fact that I was about to fucking fail her and myself by snorting my three days of sobriety all to hell, and yes I mean snorting because there was no fucking way around it.

As I'm sure you've already gathered, I was speeding the fuck home to have a fucking fix.

What I feared the most was Bella thinking that I'd lied, that I had bullshitted her into believing I was going to get clean. It would fucking break my heart if she questioned it, but I wouldn't have blamed her if she did. Truth was, I was dead fucking serious when I'd told her I wanted to get clean, that I was fucking done with this bullshit life.

But that was before my family had stabbed me in the heart with a knife and twisted it. That was before they'd accused my beautiful Bella of being a whore just for being with me.

As I carelessIly parked my car in the drive, my body jumped out and ran to the front door before I could even comprehend what the fuck I was doing.

My nerves…my addiction…led me straight to my kitchen where what was left of my stash remained. I'd flushed all that I kept in my car at Bella's, and since having become her fucking boyfriend, I'd spent every night at her house. This was actually my first time home in nearly a week and a half.

Wiping the tears that had relentlessly pouring from the eyes since I'd left Bella's, and brushing my nose along the sleeve of my shirt, I pulled the bag from beneath my sink.

Without even counting, I grabbed a handful of oxy and clonazepam, not caring how much of each was in my hand.

Grabbing hold of the bottle of Crown that sat on my couch, I tossed 'em back and let the relief wash over me.

I stood, hands braced on the fucking counter, for fuck only knows how long and waited for the numbness to set in and for my mind to go blank. I knew the effects would be heightened as I'd been off the shit for three days so it had already begun to leave my system, but I just didn't give a fuck.

Until I realized that although my mind was beginning to slow down a bit, the fucking pain was still there. I'd never felt it to this magnitude and it was damn near fucking swallowing me whole. I was drowning in it, and I began wishing that I'd never fucking dropped Bella off. I needed her probably more than I ever had right now. I wanted to be wrapped in her arms. I wanted to feel some semblance of love from someone because, as it was, I fucking loathed myself and literally felt like the biggest fucking loser on this goddamned planet. I had half a mind to take another handful and end my suffering for good, but as I laid eyes on that bag, the bag that held what was responsible for making my life what it was now, I was filled with rage.

This…what I was doing—what I'd just done—was exactly why I'd wanted to get clean. I was fucking sick and tired of letting this shit rule my life, and knowing how fucking weak I was in regards to my body's need for it…

I yelled out into the empty space of my house, angry tears streaming as I grabbed the bag and emptied the fucking poison into the disposal of my sink and poured the remaining Crown as well to wash the shit down.

As I watched the shit get washed away in satisfaction, my phone began to go off. I didn't bother checking who it was because I figured if it were anyone, it would be Bella.

"Yeah?"

"So, we had a surprise group of visitors down at the warehouse today, Cullen. Any guess as to who they were?" Aro's voice rung out.

It wasn't what he'd said, but how he said it.

He fucking knew. He was on to me.

"I have no fucking clue."

"Laurent and his group of thugs. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but did you or did you not assure me that you'd taken care of Newton—as you were fucking told to do? Because he was here today, bright eyed and ready to take us on. And you know what else? It turns out that they're here looking for a certain brown-eyed, brunette beauty, Isabella Swan. Funny thing is that Harrison claims to have seen her at your place."

My heart stopped and the anxiety slammed into me as though it had never left. My hands grew even more sweaty than they already were as I felt myself beginning to hyperventilate.

He didn't even let me respond.

"Here's what's going to happen, you piece of shit; you fucked me by leaving that rat bastard alive, therefore, you bring the bitch here, all's forgiven," he ordered, his voice calm, but the tone vicious.

"Over my dead fucking body! You don't give a fuck about getting the girl for Laurent, so that's bullshit and you know it. All you care about is the fact that I didn't off Newton, but what I'm guessing Harrison didn't tell you is that it was _him_ who let the son of a bitch go! Besides, you'd kill me the minute I got there. I've worked for you too long, Aro. I know your fucking M.O."

"You misunderstand me, Edward. This isn't debatable. Newton's already fucking spilled; I know it was you. Bring us the girl. As you said, you know how I operate and you know what's coming. You don't want to go against me, Cullen."

"Kill 'em! I don't give a flying fuck, but you've got me fucking twisted if you think I'm letting you or any other mother fucker near her," I warned him, putting as much venom into my voice as I fucking could.

And just like that, the call was over.

He was right; I did know what was coming. He'd come after Bella, and then he'd kill her in front of me and fucking make me watch just because he was a sick bastard like that. Then he'd kill the family off just for shits and giggles, which quite honestly, I didn't really give a shit about that anymore. His final move would either be killing me, or giving the video of me killing that bum years ago to the police and turning me in so that I'd suffer for the rest of my life.

But even with all that, it fucking dawned on me that Bella was alone. I'd left her at home…alone, and as much as I fucking hated it, regardless of how many times I told her to lock her fucking doors, she still had a habit of leaving them unlocked.

I quickly tore through the house to my bedroom where I kept my fucking gun. Making sure it was loaded, I tucked in the waistband of my jeans behind my back. With nothing other than getting to Bella as fast as I fucking could on my mind, I ran back towards the kitchen to grab my keys but right as I came off the last step of the staircase, I heard the crunch of gravel and a thump near the front door.

My head was beginning to spin and nothing felt right. I was covered in a cold sweat, my stomach was clenching and spasming, and my vision was starting to become hazy. My chest felt like it was in a vice, I couldn't breathe right, and hard as it is to explain, I could feel myself beginning to slip away. I knew what this was; I'd fucking overdosed. I'd never OD'ed before, but I just _knew _that's what this was. The handful was double the biggest amount I'd ever taken and the liquor on top of that just made for one dangerous fucking combination

Hearing another noise, I pulled the gun from behind my back and stumbled shakily through the living room, gun aimed at the front door. I called out but don't know whether anyone ever responded as I fell to my knees and everything went black.

***~C&B~***

(from end of last chapter)

"_N-no!" he barked out firmly. "We've got to g-get a hotel. They'll f-find us here."_

"_Edward, why on earth would Aro be coming after you? I thought everything was fine. What reason does he ha…"_

"_Doll, it's not me the-they're after; it's you."_

**BPOV**

"Me? What the fuck are you talking about?" I asked, trying not to become hysterical or let the anxiety have me.

"He…" Edward began, he eyes rolling back in his head and his voice somewhat slurred.

"Baby, I need you to answer something for me, okay? Did you take any pills?" I had to ask him because that was the only explanation I could think of for his condition other than withdrawals.

I could smell liquor on his breath.

Edward coughed loudly and nodded.

"Shit!" I shouted as I tried with all my might to bring him to his feet. "Please, Edward, try to stand. I've got to get you to the bathroom so we can empty your fucking stomach."

"Bella…" he rasped, a tear falling down his cheek as his hand rose to brush across my own affectionately.

"Don't you dare try to play this off, dammit. You OD'ed, Edward; I don't think I need to explain what will happen if we don't get that shit out of your fucking system," I exclaimed sniffling at the end as he closed his eyes tightly and flexed his jaw.

"I'm sorry," he whispered nearly inaudibly.

"There'll be time for that later. Right now, all I care about is getting as much of that shit out of you as I can. Come on," I said, my voice breaking as I started to lift myself up, my arms hooked under his arms.

Edward winced and groaned as he shakily got to his feet, immediately hooking his arm around my neck as I helped rush him to the bathroom.

The second we made it through the door, he collapsed on his knees in front of the toilet. The tears wouldn't quit falling from my eyes as my heart broke for him and fear filled my veins. I didn't know whether he would make it through this or not as I didn't know exactly how much he had fucking taken; all I knew was he'd chased the shit with straight fucking whiskey, which was the worst possible thing he could have fucking done.

I knew he was too far gone to do what I needed him to as he sat slumped over the toilet, so I took the initiative, lifted his head and shoved my fingers to the back of his throat, effectively gagging him.

"_Fuck me," _he gasped, coughing and gasping for breath once he'd finished. "Next time, warn me."

"You told me to help you; that's what I did, but to be on the safe side, we need to get you to the fucking hospital, baby."

"Doll, if we go to the hospital, they're going to want me to stay for observation and then I'll have to see a fucking shrink, not to mention that the staff," he paused to take a tired breath, "will most likely call Carlisle and he'll call the fucking cops. Please, I know what to do, just trust me."

"Trust you? I'm trying to _help _you, like you asked! If you want…"

"Exactly, I asked you to help me, so why are you fucking yelling at me?" he asked, his eyes opening enough to show me the hurt.

"Because I'm fucking scared! I knew you were coming home for a fix, but I didn't realize that meant you were fucking giving up on yourself!"

"Jesus fuck! Is that what you think I was doing?" he murmured, his glassy eyes fluttering closed. It was doubtful that he'd remember any of this tomorrow—or whenever this stupor wore off—as it was plainly obvious that he wasn't fully here with me. While the conversation seemed lucid, and while he appeared to be looking at me, his gaze was empty. "I just wanted the pain to stop. I wanted the hurt to stop. I wanted to fucking forget everything about tonight…" he answered, his words coming out angrily with rage I knew wasn't directed at me.

"I'm sorry for yelling, okay?" I apologized, moving closer to him and rubbing his back. "I know how hard tonight was for you, and I'm being unfair to you right now, but Edward, I can't lose you. I won't. Do you understand that?"

"Yes, I do. I can't and won't lose you either, Doll, which is why you have to get us to a hotel."

"Eddie, you need medical attention," I told him once again.

A heavy sigh passed his lips as clutched at his stomach, his face twisting in pain. "Look, when we get to the hotel, you can call a doctor that makes house calls, but we _cannot _go to the hospital. If Carlisle didn't fucking work there, and I was one hundred percent positive that Aro wouldn't find us, I'd happily go, but that's not going to happen, Bella."

I wanted to ask him more questions, figure out exactly what was going on in regards to Aro and what it all had to do with me, but Edward was starting to become more and more loopy. If we were going to stay in a hotel tonight, I had to get a jump on things. I needed to pack us each a bag which was something I could do at my house as Edward had more than enough clothes there from the past week, plus I needed to stop and get supplies to help get him through tonight.

When I looked back over at him, his head was tucked to his chest as his breaths came, still as uneven as before. Bringing myself to my feet, I grabbed a washcloth out of the closet and wet it. After ringing it out, I pressed it to his forehead, wiping his face clean from the sweat and accomplishing the job of bring him back to life, at least a little.

"What're you doin'?" he mumbled, not bothering to open his eyes.

"You gotta stay with me, baby. Don't fall asleep. I know its fucking hard, but I need you awake. We've got to get you out of here, and I need to stop by my house to pack us a bag," I told him, running a hand through his drenched hair.

"No, stopping, Doll. For all I know, someone's watching your house. If we go at all, it'll be during the day," he answered as he placed his hand up on my shoulder and slowly but surely brought himself to his feet, with my help.

"Edward?" I asked as we gradually made our way out of the bathroom and back into the living room.

"Hmm?"

"Are there really doctors that still make fucking house calls or are you just bullshitting me again?"

"Yes, Doll, there are; I used to be one on the side in addition to practicing at the office," he weakly chuckled. As we walked past his couch, I stopped us.

"Where are your keys?"

"Kitchen. And before we leave, grab my gun and trash my fucking phone," he mumbled.

Those were two orders from him that I most definitely wasn't going to question. If this Aro character was anything like Jake had been, he had placed tracking devices inside all phones, and if they were after me as Edward obviously believed, we would need that fucking gun.

***~C&B~***

Here it was, three o'clock in the fucking morning, and I was still awake. I'd been sitting in a chair next to the bed in our hotel room. I couldn't bring myself to fall asleep. Even though the doctor that had come to check Edward out said that he would be okay, I was still terrified that he'd stop breathing in his sleep.

He did say that my having made him throw up had most likely been what saved him, which was something I already knew. He'd also made Edward drink a glass of activated charcoal, something that was used to absorb all the toxins from his stomach. It was common and a method that I'd heard of, but had never used myself.

Edward had been in and out of consciousness throughout the whole process, though even when he was conscious with open eyes, his mind wasn't really all there. I'd cried through most of it, and even now held his hand tightly in mine as he slept.

The doctor told me that he was going to need a lot of rest and that when he came to, I needed to talk to him about going to rehab.

Right.

Like that wasn't going to the most awkward conversation we'd ever had. I could hardly wait.

Insert sarcasm here.

Needing someone to talk to about what I should do about Edward and the whole Aro situation, I pulled my phone from my pocket and went to call Charlie.

Until I saw texts that I'd missed from Emmett.

**Did you find him?—Emmett**

**Not that it's any of your business, but yes.—Bella**

**How is he?—Emmett**

**Are you fucking kidding me?—Bella**

**Okay, I deserved that. Look, I'm listening to what you said earlier…I'm taking a hard look at things. I just wish I could make you understand. The shit you two said at dinner tonight kind of fucked with all of us.—Emmett**

**Whatever, Em. He'll be fine.—Bella**

**What do you mean by 'he'll be'? Everything okay?—Emmett**

**He almost killed himself tonight.—Bella**

I know I probably shouldn't have told him that, but fuck, I wanted the bastard to wake the fuck up to what he and his precious family had done to Edward. I didn't plan to respond to any other texts so to prevent any from coming through, I turned my text tones off. I then went ahead with the original plan and dialed Charlie.

The phone rang three times before he finally picked up, his voice thick with sleep.

"Swan," he answered, and I broke for the thousandth time that night.

I hadn't realized until I heard his voice just how much I missed and needed my Dad. He knew what to do in situations like this, after all, he'd gotten me through my hell. That, and since I'd been here, I'd had to remain a strong shoulder for Edward, trying to put my fears and needs on the back burner, something I would never actually admit to Edward if he were to ever bring it up. Which was also partially why I'd drank myself stupid last weekend when he'd called to say that he had to post pone his trip up here; a development in a case he was working on down in Louisiana came up.

"Daddy," I cried.

"Bells?" he asked with concern, his voice raising an octave as he perked up. "Everything okay?"

"No. Not at all, and I don't know what to do."

"Slow done, honey. What happened?"

"It's a long story, but things came to blows with the Cullens tonight, and Edward overdosed."

"Christ, where are you now? Is Edward all right? How bad was it?" Without even seeing him, I knew that he was pinching the bridge of his nose as he always did with shit like this.

"God, fuck, I don't know. He was going on three days of being clean, Dad, then tonight they ripped him apart. There was a good while after he dropped me off at home that I couldn't find him, and he wouldn't answer his phone. I finally drove out to his place and found him on the floor of his living room. He told me that he'd popped pills but that's all I got out of him. He was showing all the signs of overdosing, not to mention he'd chased the bitches down with whiskey. I got him to the bathroom where he threw them up. We're in a hotel now and I had a doctor check him out here in the room. The doctor said he'll be okay, but Dad, that's not the worst part."

"Bells, you haven't gotten caught up in all that again, have you?"

"No, I swear, and before you ask, Edward hasn't tried to get me to, either. He knows my history and won't even do the shit around me. Look, Dad, I can't tell you everything right now, but Edward was threatened somehow tonight. He swears that someone is after me and he's scared to fucking death. He was adamant about neither of us staying at his house and me not returning home."

"Do you know who? Why would someone be after you?"

"I don't know, but when I told Edward what all happened in Louisiana, he knew of Laurent Plaxton. He told me that Laurent used to head up the drug ring over here."

"Shit. You listen to me, Bells, I don't like this situation that either of you are in. Until we get this figured out and know exactly who's after you and why, the two of you are coming and staying with me."

"Dad, we can't do that! You've got work, and…"

"Don't you dare argue with me about this, Bells. I almost lost you once, and I'm not taking that chance again. I'll talk to the guys at the station in the morning and I'll call you about when I'll be there."

"What? You're going to come all this way?"

"Damn right I am, and when I get there, you and Edward are going to give me the complete rundown about everything."

"I'm sorry, Dad," I cried, feeling awful about him having to basically go through all of this again.

"Honey, there's nothing to apologize for. You just did what you thought was right. You make sure that Edward knows I'm not coming to tear him apart either."

"Okay. I love you," I whispered with a sniffle.

"Love you too, Bells. Oh and do me a favor, shoot me an email with Carlisle's address."

**UH OH! Here comes Papa Swan! How do you think Edward will react?**

**Please bear with me as I work on getting an update out for another fic and then I'll be back!**

**Until then, leave some love!**

**T**


	28. Chapter 27

**Well here it is! See you all at the bottom!**

**EPOV**

A relentless fucking pounding in my head is what woke me. Every bone and muscle in my body hurt and felt completely seized up. Not to mention the fact that I had the foulest fucking taste in my mouth.

And that was just what I noticed before opening my fucking eyes.

I vaguely remembered Bella at my house last night, but the little I did remember was fuzzy. I could remember that she'd yelled at me at one point, and she'd forced me into vomiting, and the tears she'd cried, but as of right now, I hadn't the slightest clue where the fuck I was. It definitely wasn't mine or Bella's room as this bed was shit and the sheets felt like fucking sand paper.

The sunlight beamed behind me, shining onto the wall in front of me. What worried me was what to expect from Bella this morning.

_Fuck! My head!_

My jaw tensed and my teeth clamped together in pain as I slowly moved to look over my shoulder.

Bella was out on the balcony, her hair softly blowing with the breeze. She was obviously smoking but I could tell just from her stance and the way her shoulders were set that she was tense.

And it was my fucking doing.

She'd fucking left Louisiana to get away from this shit, not dive head first back into it with a loser like me.

Regardless of whether I wanted to get clean or not.

This wasn't her responsibility, yet she acted as though it were. She was taking on something painful just for the sake of helping me, and what was I doing?

Making it impossibly harder for her. But in my defense, I'd fucking warned her about this shit. I knew it would happen eventually. I just hope that she'll actually believe me when I apologize for last night, thank her and try to reassure her that I don't want this life anymore.

However, it was going to be a big fucking task.

I could hear the faint sound of her cell phone ringing and watched as she put it to her ear. I couldn't make out anything she said, but from the expression on her face, it wasn't bad. So taking the opportunity, I slowly sat up, my stomach cramping in protest and my muscles screaming at me. I felt like utter and complete shit, and I was fucking nauseous as hell.

I didn't know what the fuck had happened last night during my blackout or whatever the fuck it was, but something wasn't right. That much was for fucking sure.

As I threw the sheet back, standing to go meet her on the balcony, I was fucking thrown for a loop to find that I was fucking naked.

Where the fuck had my clothes gone?

Had I actually fucked Bella in my stupor last night? Oh please, God…don't let that have fucking happened.

I grasped my hair in one hand, wincing in agony from my headache. Apparently my hair even fucking hurt. My other hand covered my eyes and rubbed in frustration at my forehead.

"Don't worry. We didn't fuck, so you can relax," Bella muttered quietly, alerting me to her presence.

That's all it was though; an alert. When I looked up, she was already heading toward the bathroom, her back to me.

Shit.

I couldn't decipher which Bella I was dealing with. I could do hurt Bella, but if she was pissed, I was fucked.

I knew that if I just stood here, it would make things fucking worse, so I took in a deep breath and followed her. My legs were stiff and my stomach churned as I made it through the doorway of the bathroom.

Bella stood staring at the wall, her head down and back to me.

"Doll…" I started, my voice hoarse and gritty.

And that's all I had the chance to say before she whipped around and the palm of her right hand connected with my left cheek. My head felt as though she'd hit with me with a fucking baseball bat, and my eyes closed.

I couldn't be angry with her; I'd fucking deserved that one. But when I heard a sniffle that wasn't my own, I opened my eyes to see Bella there before me, tears in her eyes and chin quivering.

For the first time since her coming back into my life, her eyes hid nothing. She was completely exposed to me, every emotion staring me in the face. And fear was the biggest one.

I'd never seen her like this before. Fuck, I'd never seen _anyone _like this before. The way I felt on the inside, was how she looked on the outside as she stared at me.

"Bella, I'm sor…" I began to plead, stretching an arm out in attempt to touch her. She slapped my hand away at first, but I continued getting closer and closer until there was no room left for her to fight against me. I wrapped my arms tightly around her small body, hoping and praying I wasn't about to get nailed in the balls. "I'm so sorry," I choked out, fighting against my own bitch tears that had started to build as a reaction of hurting her so badly. I'd pushed past her limit and at the moment, all her walls were shattered.

Bella's body began to shake against me as she wrapped her arms around my neck, burying her face against the base of my throat. "Don't you ever do that to me again," she cried, kissing my neck as I squeezed her tighter.

"I promise…I swear to God, I won't…" I paused to take her face in my hands. "Doll, look at me; I need you to see that I'm telling you truth."

Slowly but surely she raised her head and lifted her eyes to mine.

"That was it. No more. I promise. I was stupid last night and wasn't thinking. All I wanted was to forget, and if it hadn't been for you, I wouldn't be standing here now. I know that…" I was stopped short by her hand covering my mouth.

"Last night? Baby, it's Thursday. You've been asleep for two days."

What the mother fuck? Two fucking days? Shit, now I felt even worse about having put her through this.

I knew Bella wasn't bullshitting me because one, she wouldn't do that, and two, the stress of the last few days showed in her eyes.

As her arms slid from around my neck to under and over my shoulders, her head resting against my chest, my stomach churned with the nausea that had been growing more and more intense since having gotten out of bed. I couldn't tell you whether the muscle strain and spasms throughout my body were due to the overdose itself, or if I was going through withdrawals again. I hadn't the slightest clue, and something in Bella's voice a minute ago told me that sleeping wasn't all I'd done in the past two days.

A chill ran through me as my stomach clenched violently. Knowing what was coming, I moved away from Bella as gently and quickly as I fucking could to the toilet before I blew chunks all over this bathroom.

As I fell to the floor, heaving and choking, the warm, soothing touch of Bella's hand atop my shoulder filled me with more disgust at myself.

I became so lost in anger that I failed to notice her ever leaving my side, but when she appeared in my peripheral vision, holding a warm rag, I startled before grabbing it.

It was as I wiped my mouth and held the rag against my throat that Bella crouched down to my level, running her hand gently through my hair.

"Fuck, if this doesn't stop, Edward, I'm going to have to get the doctor back out here. You're going to wind up in the hospital for dehydration if you keep this up."

"What do you mean? I thought you'd said I'd been asleep for two days," I asked her, knowing what she was about to tell me, and dreading actually hearing it.

"You have been, but I never said it was uneventful. That first night, you threw up a good four or five times. The day after, it was another five, and yesterday it was three. The housekeeping finally just brought me a larger trash can with a box of liners."

"Shit, Bella, I'm…" I started, my voice rough as my throat burned.

"If you're going to say you're sorry, don't. It didn't bother me. The only thing I cared about was you, and getting you through this," she whispered, pressing her lips to my forehead.

"Doll, when was the last time you slept?" I asked, looking down at her fingers playing with my own.

"I haven't," she answered, her chin beginning to quiver again. "I was afraid that if I fell asleep, you'd choke on vomit in your sleep or you'd quit breathing," she finished, her voice breaking as I shook my head and shot my arm out to the side, ramming my fist into the side of the tub, my muscles screaming at me in protest.

Bella didn't stick around. She'd sniffled after I struck the tub, then got up and walked out. I'd thought for sure I'd either hurt her or pissed her off again, but she came back a short time later with a stack of clothes, the same clothes I'd been wearing that night.

"Wha-?"

"You've been in bed sweating and vomiting for the past two days. Charlie's going to be here in the morning and you and I need talk. I had the laundry service here clean your clothes for you."

"Your fucking Dad's coming? _Now?_" I asked, nervous as fuck. The chief was going to rip me a new fucking asshole once he learned what I'd subjected Bella to the past few days.

"Yes, he's coming. I called him. Edward, I didn't know what to do. I was scared out of my mind and with Aro after me, calling Charlie was the best thing I could come up with."

I thought back for a minute and just barely remembered having told her about Aro, which that subject was the last fucking thing I wanted to be thinking about right now.

"Fuck, Bella, where are we? What hotel?"

"We're at the Sheraton in Seattle. I used the fake I.D. that I still had from back then, and you gave me cash to cover the room. No one knows we're here, no one but Charlie. We're safe, for now," she mumbled on her way out of the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.

**BPOV**

I took a deep breath as I pulled the door shut behind me. I thought I was fine, that I could hold it together, but obviously, I'd been wrong.

When I came in from the balcony and saw him standing there, anger flooded my mind and relief filled my heart. I'm sure that my sleep deprivation was partly to blame for my mood, but I really was fucking upset with him, regardless of whether I understood the situation or not.

It wasn't until I'd seen him standing that the emotions I'd been holding back hit me with a vengeance. It was also the first time since getting together with him that seeing him naked left me completely unfazed. I couldn't have cared less.

But when he said my name, slapping him the way I had, surprised me. It was like a fucking reflex or something. I felt horrible about it the second I did it, because it honestly made me no better than anyone else.

I didn't want to judge him.

I didn't want to take anything out on him.

And I didn't want to hurt him.

I understood his actions more than anyone as I'd been at this point myself, and I was also there that night to witness the agony his family had put him through, but the fact that he'd deliberately taken way too many pills and had then chased it down with whiskey pissed me off.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that it wasn't so much the overdose itself that was fucking with me; it was the fact that he'd actually been clean for days before this set back.

All because of his fucking family's callous words.

Even though he'd made the decision to swallow the shit, instead of offering support when he needed it the most, they'd driven him to self-destruction once again.

I knew that if Edward ever had any hope of becoming sober and staying that way, he would have to cut ties with them.

For good.

They were nothing but fucking poison to him.

The fear I felt though was directly related to knowing just how fucking close I'd come to losing him. That set in the second the doctor finished looking him over. And to know that Edward's fucking drug lord boss was after me didn't fucking help. It brought back all the memories I'd hoped to forget; ones of my days in the cabin, withdrawing from heroin like a mother fucker while Laurent's men hunted me.

"Bella?" Edward's voice called out weakly from the bathroom. I wiped the tears from my eyes and walked back in, surprised to find that he'd actually run him a bath in the huge whirlpool tub instead of showering. His eyes were reddened, showing that he'd obviously let his own emotions have him when I walked out; I knew he'd tell me if he wanted to talk about it, so I didn't press him.

"Yeah?"

"We can talk now, just…will you please stay with me?" he asked quietly.

"You want me to get in, or…?" I questioned with a raised brow.

Edward actually smiled a little at that. "What the fuck do you think?"

"I don't know, you tell me. I'm pretty sure you feel like shit all over. Don't you just want to relax?"

His expression dropped as he looked at the edge of the tub, his brow furrowed. "Actually, I just want the same thing I did last night. You," he told me softly.

"All you had to do was call or text me, Edward."

"He called me before I got the chance to, Doll. I was getting ready to haul ass to your place when I blacked out."

Not knowing how I wanted—or should—respond to that, I turned and began to undress. It would feel nice to actually get in the fucking bath as I hadn't even done that in the past few days. I felt completely disgusting.

As I approached the tub, his eyes traveled up my body slowly. He was still punishing himself, that much I could see, and I didn't like it at all.

"Scoot forward," I murmured to him as his eyes met mine in confusion.

"What? Why?"

"Because neither of us are any in condition to do anything, and if I sit in front of you with that," I said, gesturing to his hard cock, "stabbing me in the back, we're going to have a problem."

His cheeks reddened as glanced down at the water and slid forward, not a word passing his lips. But then I realized…he was fucking blushing! I stepped in behind him, the water the perfect temperature as I lowered myself down behind him and pulled his back flat against my chest, my legs on either side of him.

Edward's hands settled on the underside of my thighs, rubbing and massaging in a soothing manner. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, pressing my lips against his temple.

"This was a good idea. Your tits make better pillows than the rim of this fucking tub."

I guffawed and slapped his shoulder, his chest rumbling with a brief chuckle.

"How are you feeling, and don't bullshit me," I told him, feeling his body tense against me.

"Everything fucking hurts. My muscles, my stomach, head…you name it. To tell you the truth though, Doll, I can deal with all of that shit; it's hurting you and putting you through hell for the past few days that I'm having trouble with," he replied, reaching up to take one of my hands and bring it to his lips.

"I'm sorry for slapping you the way I did. I've been more scared than anything, Edward. I know you weren't trying to kill yourself, but it didn't stop me from fearing that was what was going to happen. And I guess I'm pissed at myself for letting you just leave like that. I knew you were in a horrible state of mind, and I just… Look, everything is forgiven, okay? What I want and need from you right now is to know what Aro told you."

"Apparently, Newton made it back and led his boss, the one wanting to take Aro down, to the warehouse. That alone fucked me. But then Aro tells me—and he was pissed—that Newton's boss isn't here to take him down, he's here on other business. You. The guy is Laurent Plaxton, Bella, and they're expecting me to bring you to them in exchange for my life. I didn't make things any better, Doll. I was pissed and I knew that he'd only kill me after they had you, and I called him on it. I also threatened him against coming after you, and I meant it, Bella. I'll fucking kill myself before I let them touch a fucking hair on your head."

"Well, how do you know that he wasn't just blowing smoke up your ass? And how did they even make the connection between you and I?"

"How do you think?" he questioned, turning his head against my chest and meeting my eyes. "That douchebag, Harrison; the one that fucking attacked you. He recognized your face from the photo they showed Aro. Bella, I know Laurent is ruthless, but we're talking about Aro doing his fucking dirty work for him now. I can promise you that he's got crews watching our houses. He won't stop until he finds us, and come to think about it, we're going to need to get you a new cell phone, preferably with that fake ID you mentioned. Oh and that's another thing, why didn't I hear of that shit until now?" he questioned with a smirk.

"Because it wasn't something I ever thought about until I actually fucking needed it. You realize that when Charlie gets here, things are going to fucking explode, right?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, for one, when he gets here, he wants us to give him a full run down on your past, especially the shit with Aro. Second, he basically said that whether you and I like it or not, we're going back with him to Louisiana until they get this shit figured out. And then, he fucking ended our phone call by asking me to send him Carlisle's address."

"Bella, I don't know if I can tell…" he started, his eyes wide as he look at me in fear.

"Edward, baby, if you don't think you can, I'll sum it all up for him, okay? To be honest, I was more worried about your reaction to us going to Louisiana."

"If that's what it'll take to keep you safe, then I have no problem in leaving here, but why would he think that us going home with him to Laurent's territory would protect either one of us? That's basically offering us up on a silver platter."

"I don't know, but that's something that we can talk to him about in the morning, okay? Now, hard as it will be, let's try to put that behind us just for tonight and focus on getting you rested up. Besides, the water is going to get fucking cold soon, so we need to get bathed and out of here."

Edward smiled softly at me as I rubbed his chest with one hand and combed the other through his hair.

"What?" I asked as he continued to stare at me. Instead of answering, his hands clenched just a little tighter on my thighs as his head closed the distance between us. He looked as though he were warring with himself on something he wanted to say, but instead of words, I received a soft, lingering kiss to the lips.

But then, Edward still didn't pull away. I wasn't sure what it was that he wanted or what he was fighting against.

"Edward, baby, did you hear me? We need to bathe and…"

"I heard you, Doll; I just had to kiss you, that's all," he mumbled, pulling away and releasing my legs.

I didn't know what the fuck had just happened, but it was like a switch went off in his head. I didn't know exactly what to do, but one thing did dawn on me. There was no fucking way we could wash our hair in this damn tub. It would make the whole bath pointless as we'd just be washing our hair in our own filth.

"Come on, we're getting in the shower," I told him as I leaned forward and stood.

"What the fuck? Why?"

"Because genius, we both need to wash our hair and I'm not doing so in soiled water."

I stepped out and waited for him to rise, and when he started to lift himself, the pain he felt in his body was reflected in the expression on his face.

I took hold of his hand and threw his arm around my neck, my other arm going around his torso to help him out with him falling. He grumbled when I did so, but I'd rather him have been annoyed than laying on the floor with a broken hip or twisted ankle. That, and I knew that he was going to be somewhat irritable as that was to be expected considering his body was craving something he couldn't have.

As we reached the door of the shower, I reached in and turned the water on while Edward leaned against the wall.

I would outright admit that after talking about things a bit, and especially seeing his fucking beautiful cock hard for me earlier, that I was finding it hard to keep my hands off of him. And him leaning on the wall the way he was, in the buff…he was just gorgeous. But we absolutely could not sleep together tonight. That's all there was to it. If we did, it would be as though we were trying to fix everything with sex, and not only that; Edward's body was in no shape for it, and neither was mine. All I wanted, now that I knew he was going to be all right, was to get clean and go the fuck to sleep.

I watched him as the water from the bath cascaded down his body as he kept his position on the wall, his head back. It finally got to a point that I couldn't stop myself. I approached him, pressing myself against his body as my hand took hold of hair at the back of his head and pulled him down to me for a deeper kiss. It didn't take him but maybe half a second to respond, and when he did, he kept it soft, sweet, but thorough. His tongue slid and twisted around mine in slow, languid movements, his hand coming up to gently caress my cheek before tangling in my hair.

Nothing about it was rushed, but tears were brought to my eyes as I could feel every emotion he was trying to convey to me in that one kiss. When he pulled away, it had been excruciatingly slow, and the first thing I saw upon opening my eyes was a beautiful smile and glassy, green eyes staring back at me.

No words were spoken. Edward merely sidestepped around me and with my hand in his, pulled me into the shower.

***~C&B~***

Clad in nothing but his tight, black boxer briefs, Edward finally emerged from the bathroom and came to slide into bed beside me. I'd only been waiting a short while but nature called, and after his stomach had turned once again, he was forced to brush his teeth for a second time today. He knew from past experience that I wouldn't let those sinful, pillowy lips anywhere near me when he had a dirty mouth.

Yes, I loved his dirty mouth, but…Oh hell, you get the fucking point. Right?

Anyhow, as his body molded itself tight against my side, I felt the goosebumps that covered his flesh. He was shivering, tremors wracking his body as a hand moved up to wipe at his eyes. I brought my hand to cup his cheek as I turned on my side and brought our bodies flush together, our legs entwining.

"Eddie, you okay?"

"I don't kn-know. After that last bout, I'm fucking freezing and my eyes won't quit fucking watering. Everything hurts, Bella. I can feel the pain to my bones. What the fuck is this?" his voice shook under the strain his body had him under.

"It's your body detoxing itself, baby," I whispered as I began rubbing my hand up and down his arm and back, hoping to provide some warmth or comfort, but I knew it wouldn't help. However, that didn't stop him from wrapping his arms tight around me and trying desperately to get even closer.

As it was, I felt like a damn stuffed animal in a sense because he had me pinned in the vice of his arms; I couldn't move.

"Edward, I know you're cold, but I can't fucking breathe," I told him as sweetly as I could without knocking him over the head.

He glanced up at me, the circles beneath his eyes heartbreakingly visible at this close proximity. Within seconds, he'd released his hold just slightly, scooting down a little and nuzzling his face against my throat.

"Shit, hang on, okay? I need to turn the lights off," I told him as sat up and reached over to turn my light off and then walked over to his and did the same.

"F-fuck…Doll, this shit hurts," he ground out, the sound of his teeth chattering making my skin crawl.

I slid back into bed and found him once more, this time kissing him softly before he sunk down even further and buried his face in my chest.

I didn't question it or stop it; I took comfort in it. I ran my hands through his hair and up and down his back and shoulders as much as I could. It took a while, but eventually he fell asleep, his body still twitching every once in a while.

And it was while I lay there in bed with Edward wrapped tightly around me that I prayed Charlie got here as soon as possible tomorrow.

And it was where I whispered into the dark of the room the words that I couldn't yet bring myself to say to Edward.

"I love you."

**Ok, so Charlie didn't make it into this chapter, and that's because Addictward and Bella had a lot to say. Next chapter is Charlie's...COMPLETELY!**

**I'll start work on that tomorrow as the Golden Globes took up most of my time today...Damn you, Rob!**

**So, let me know what you thought! And I apologize in advance for any reviews I may have missed responding to last chapter! I'll try to get all this time around!**

**Also, if you haven't started reading A Whisper of Chaos by theonlykyla, you're missing out! BRILLIANT! I love her Edward! And as always, Fan Fiction, Sex Gods, and Single Girls by bannerday...AMAZING!**

**Leave me some love!**

**T**


	29. Chapter 28

**Here we go...Part ONE of Charlie's POV**

**Hope you guys enjoy it!**

**ChPOV**

"Banner, it's Swan. Has any word come from Seattle or New Orleans DEA yet?"

"Not yet. We're still waiting to hear back. Any luck getting in touch with the department in Forks?"

"No luck there, either. All right, let me know as soon as you hear anything."

As soon as the call with my Lieutenant ended, I tossed my phone to the passenger seat, beyond pissed that no one was taking the situation seriously.

Since having gotten that phone call from my Bells three days ago, I'd been working my ass off in trying to get a place to stay lined up for them with protection and surveillance provided by the DEA. So far, no one had gotten back to me. I wasn't too worried about getting in touch with the DEA in Seattle as I could just drive up there, but it was imperative that I reach Shepard, the agent in charge over DEA in New Orleans. He would be the only one that would be able to provide the sort of detail I was requesting.

I'd been weary about Bells moving out there to begin with; I was afraid of her getting in with the wrong crowd and relapsing, especially since she hadn't been out of rehab long. But that phone call had put my stomach in knots. I knew the danger she was in was directly related to her relationship with the Cullen boy, but I didn't blame him.

From what I could tell and what I understood, Edward was in the same situation my Bells had been in. It was a matter of being caught up with the wrong people; of course, I wouldn't know the story until I got there, which couldn't come soon enough.

Since Bells had moved, this had been the longest stretch of time I'd gone without seeing her since she was born. It wasn't easy, and I didn't like it.

I had to admit, the shit that Bells had told me thus far about what she'd been…what _they'd _been dealing with at the hands of the Cullens both shocked and pissed me off. I had known beforehand that something was amiss with Edward as anytime I'd spoken to Carlisle or Esme on the phone in the past, they'd raved about Alice and Emmett, but left Edward out. I never questioned it, but assumed there was good reason for it; I just never thought the reason was something as big, and wrong, as this.

When Bells and I lived in Forks, Carlisle's kids were basically my kids as well. They were all great, well-behaved children—most of the time, anyway—but Edward had always been quieter. That wasn't to say he was a bad kid, because he'd always been respectful and polite, but he was different from Bells and the other two.

I had noticed he and Bells had formed a close bond, tighter than the ones she held with Emmett and Alice, before we left. I mean they were literally inseparable, which was what had made our moving so hard.

Bells hadn't been the same since. I won't even begin to recount her life in Louisiana for you as there wasn't shit good to say about any of it.

And knowing that it was my choice that had made her miserable, my choice that had changed the path her life could have taken, killed me inside.

Sighing in frustration, I lit a cigarette. Bells was going to freak the hell out and probably go ape shit on my ass for having started up again. I didn't like it, but after she moved, it was all I could turn to in order to keep myself sane.

I didn't like the quiet hell hole that my home had become. Regardless of how depressed and out of sorts Bells had been at home, her smile and presence never failed to brighten my day or the walls of the house.

Since then, I'd just been getting by…just surviving. Hell, it was only a matter of time before I moved here to be near her.

Of course, that whole fucking situation had changed.

***~C&B~***

The hotel was shockingly fancy. Edward had obviously paid for their room as I knew Bells didn't have the kind of cash it took to cover it in her bank account. She told me on the phone the other day about the name she'd booked the room under, explaining that it was a fake ID that she'd had from her time in Louisiana. While I didn't like it, there were a shit ton of things about her life there that I despised more, and most she had no clue I even knew about.

As I finally approached their door, I could hear her laughter and my heart warmed. The anticipation of seeing her again and knowing that only a door stood between us made me antsy as hell. And the more and more I talk about all of this shit, the less I sound like the Chief of Police and more like the pussy next door.

Eventually, my senses came to me and I finally knocked. I waited a few minutes before the door finally opened.

Damn.

Bella had told me that Edward had OD'ed the other night and that he was in rough shape, but I had no idea just how rough. Though I wasn't used to being around him and couldn't really vouch for how the kid looked on a good day, I wasn't a good judge, but he looked awful.

He was a hell of a lot taller than I imagined him to be, as the last time I'd seen him he was just barely at my chest. Dark rings hung under his bloodshot eyes, his hair was a fucking disaster, and his nose was reddened.

He stared at me like a damn deer in headlights, almost as though he didn't know what to do next. I wouldn't guessed he was a mute but knew that if that had been the case, Bells would have said something.

"I-it's been a long time, Chief," he finally said, weakness in his voice. Hell yes, the kid was a smoker. Maybe I could bum one off of him since my dumbass left them down in my car.

I arched a brow at him. "Chief? Son, do you see a fucking feather headdress atop my head?" I questioned him as his eyes narrowed in confusion. This was too much fun. "Call me Charlie," I told him gruffly.

I watched as he looked over his shoulder at Bells and grinned. "Now it all makes sense; this is who's to blame for your smart ass mouth."

I couldn't help but laugh; the kid had a point. I stepped into the room and reached out my hand for Edward to shake, but the minute he took it, I pulled him in for a manly hug.

I had to throw in manly; don't want anybody getting the wrong idea about me.

Edward seemed both surprised and puzzled by my actions, but when I saw my Bells smiling at me from across the room, I gave Edward a pat on the back and released him.

Before I could even sidestep around the giant, Bells was throwing her arms around me.

"Dad!" she exclaimed, hugging my neck tight. "It's about time; I was starting to think you'd never get here."

"I wasn't sure if I ever would, Bells. Traffic here is still a bitch. Some things never change I guess," I told her, kissing her cheek as she let go of me and went to put her arms around Edward's waist.

Seriously?

"Have you eaten yet?" she asked as Edward visibly shivered.

"Not yet. Edward, you all right?"

"Not really," he muttered and scratched at his head.

"He's still hurting pretty bad, Dad. The doctor is coming to do a follow-up in about an hour and a half, so we have enough time to get something eat."

"Bells, why don't we just order room service? Edward doesn't look up to going anywhere and it would probably be best anyway, considering the predicament you both are in."

"I'm sorry about all of this, Chi…" Edward started but then widened his eyes in reaction to my glare, "Charlie."

"Knock it off, kid. No one's blaming anybody for anything here. Now, go sit down, you're making me nervous."

Bella narrowed her eyes at me as Edward turned and headed to the _single king bed _in the room.

_What the fuck had I walked in on?_

***~C&B~***

After a breakfast that consisted of Bells catching me up on everything involving the Cullens, the doctor finally showed up.

Thirty minutes late…asshole.

Edward sat in the chair opposite me with Bells held tightly in his lap. I could visibly see him shivering and violently twitching against her. The muscles of his forearms were contracting as was his jaw. The poor guy was in hell, but if he planned to get clean, this was part of the process.

It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that he and Bells were together, either. I could see it in their mannerisms and the way they looked at each other. However, I kind of suspected something was up with them from the way she talked about him on the phone, and the way she'd put herself on the line and out there for him.

I just hoped that Edward was smart enough to realize how lucky he was to have her by his side. My Bells was by far the strongest woman I know, and I'm not just saying that because she's my little girl. She really was the strongest. For her to have gone through all she did, come out on top and then manage to keep her sobriety while helping another addict in need…the kid fucking amazed me.

So anyway, I sat next to Bells as she paid attention to all that went on during Edward's examination.

"Well, all of this vomiting, diarrhea, and sweating that you've had these last few days has left you dehydrated, Mr. Cullen. Since you're refusing hospital care, the most I can do for you is write you a script for clonidine. It'll help ease these withdrawal symptoms; it won't completely take care of them but it'll make them more bearable. The other thing is to keep fluids going in, and by fluids I mean Gatorade, Powerade, or water."

"Can he travel?" I piped up, needing to know whether it was going to be a problem getting them out of here.

Edward and Bells' heads perked up and looked at me, then the doctor.

"Travel is fine, but he needs to rest. To be honest with you, and I usually never tell my patients this—at least not the ones this far into their addiction—if you have any of your pills left at all, I would recommend that you try weaning yourself off of them rather than going cold turkey. If you're planning to leave, it would be in your best interest because without that drug, and until it completely leaves your system, you'll still be at risk for seizuring."

"Won't that just start this shit up all over again? All this suffering I've done thus far, it'll all have been for nothing. No…" Edward replied to the doctor firmly, then glanced at Bella.

I could see that Bells was warring on whether she wanted him to try the doctors method or not, but I knew…Edward wasn't budging. And while that fact made me proud, it also scared the shit out of me.

Once the doctor left, Bella excused herself to the bathroom. I took the opportunity to bum a cigarette from Edward.

"Care if I bum a cigarette?" I asked him in a hushed tone.

And of course, it didn't go as planned. Edward stared at me for a second then bust out laughing.

"Could you keep it down, jackass?" I bit out, glancing over my shoulder at the bathroom.

"Oh fuck, she doesn't know, does she?" he asked in shock. "And you're wanting me to give you one? Do you have any idea what kind of deep shit that would put me in with her?"

"Hey, I'm the one saving your ass, so you gonna help a man out or not?"

Edward clenched his eyes shut and pointed me in the direction of the cigarettes, but of course, it was at the precise moment that I had one in my hand that Bells came walking out.

Her eyes went to Edward, to me, and then down to my hand.

"What the _fuck _are you doing?" she growled. My daughter actually fucking growled at me.

"I'm going out for a smoke. That okay?"

"Since when? You _supposedly _quit three years ago, Dad. And Eddie…what the fuck?"

"I'm sorry, Doll. I couldn't stop him," he answered, panic coming through in his voice.

"Doll?" I asked, trying to hold in a laugh as I looked at Edward in question. "Wow…never thought I'd hear anyone refer to Bells as a doll. You don't know her too well, do you?"

"Well, actually, I have another name for her but any time I say it, I'm kneed in the balls, so…" Edward shot back, laughing with me and looking at Bella.

"You know what? Fuck ya'll. I'll be back later. I'm going to run up to Wal-Mart to get Edward something to wear for tonight and tomorrow. I'll drop his prescription off while I'm there."

That caught both Edward's and my attention.

"Bells, you shouldn't be going out alone, right now. Why don't you wait a little bit and I'll go with you?"

"Well for one, you want to smoke and I don't want to watch it; you know why. And dickface over there more or less just called me a bitch so don't worry about me. I'll be fine. Besides, you needed to talk to Edward anyway. I've got my phone on me in case you need anything."

I knew that she knew we were just joking with her, but I could tell that this was her way of not only getting back at Edward and making him feel the heat, but also getting some air. After the past couple days of her getting him through the worst part of his withdrawals, she was bound to need some time to herself.

I watched as Edward tried to plead with her when she took a step closer to grab her purse off of the table. She brushed him off and went straight for the door, not saying a word to either of us. It was comical to see how Edward's face scrunched up in regret. In his mind, he had just fucked up.

"What do you say we go out on the balcony? I really need this cigarette, and so I understand everything clearly, I need you to explain the past few years to me, explain how you and your family got to the point you're at now."

His head immediately tilted down as he scratched as his head.

"Charlie, I-I don't know if I can."

"What are you afraid of, son? I'm here to help; that's why Bells called me."

"How do I know that you won't change your mind and turn me in once you hear everything? I mean no disrespect, but I don't know you."

"Edward, I'm going to be straight with you, son. I can't promise you that I'll be able to keep you out of jail when all of this shit is over with, but I _can _promise to get you out of this arrangement or whatever the fuck it is that you've got with this Aro character."

He didn't respond. He simply grabbed hold of the blanket draped over the chair and wrapped it around himself.

I let out a heavy sigh, catching his attention. "So, let me see if I've got this right: you're sleeping with my daughter," I started, taking pride in the horrified way his eyes widened, "yet, it's the drugs and problems with your family that you're afraid of talking to me about?"

"Shit, Charlie, did you have to put it like that?" he asked with a nervous laugh. This…this was how I knew that Edward wasn't the hardened criminal everyone had tried to convince him of being. He was just trapped.

If he was a true, ruthless addict and killer, he'd have told me to fuck off by now. I'd dealt with enough of these cases to know; they all turned out the same.

"So, you're not denying it?"

"Look, I know it's fast; I know I'm not what you want for her, but we tried figh…"

"Jesus, kid, lighten up! While I'll admit that I don't like it, it's her life. If you're what makes her happy, and you treat her right, we'll have no problems. And from what I can tell, you make her happy. Or at least you did up until ten minutes ago," I told him with a smirk.

Edward laughed and flipped me the bird. "Yeah, thanks for that. You fucking knew I was going to put my foot in my mouth."

"Believe me, when she gets back, it'll be like nothing ever happened. Besides, as much as I love my little girl, you wouldn't be the first one to call her that. I made the mistake of comparing her to her mother one day, which I only tell you this for future reference and your own safety…_never _make that mistake. Anyway, what do you say we go out there and shoot the shit?"

"I'll try," he mumbled, slowly rising from the chair, me giving him a hand and making sure he didn't fall.

"That's all I'm asking of you, Edward."

***~C&B~***

I now sat staring down at the copy machine in the office space of the hotel, making several copies of the bullshit letter that Edward's late bitch fiancée had written him. After hearing all that he'd told me outside, it was easy to see why Bells had stood behind him; why she was so hell bent on getting him out of this and away from his family.

It was almost hard for me to believe that the Cullens my little girl had grown up around were now the dysfunctional, anal bunch of imbeciles they were now. I already knew what to do with his dickhead of a father, but as for the others, I think just seeing the letter was going to be enough to fuck up their world.

When Bells returned from the store with Edward's meds and clothes, she was right as rain, just as I had promised Edward she would be. And it was a good thing too, because he was pretty upset when she got back. The retelling of his story for a second time had taken a lot out of him, and so he wouldn't have to do it again, I'd recorded it on the little handheld recorder I'd thought to bring with me.

The story wasn't what had brought him to tears either; it was the toast I'd made after, promising him that he wasn't at fault for what had happened and vowing that I was going to get them both out of this, doing my best to make it right.

As the copy machine worked its magic, I took the opportunity to call the Seattle DEA again, and this time, they actually fucking answered on the third ring.

"This is Barnes," a gruff voice answered. I recognized the name, and I was speaking to the right person…the one in charge.

"Agent Barnes, my name is Charlie Swan. I'm Chief of Police in Lake Arthur, Louisiana. I'm here on business regarding my daughter and Aro Volturi."

"Volturi? What business do you have?"

"We have reason to believe he's working with Laurent Plaxton. I don't want to get into detail over the phone, but if you're available to meet…"

"I'll be down at headquarters tomorrow if you want to come by."

"I'll be there."

I didn't wait for him to hang up before I pressed end on my phone. I then made a quick call to the SPD, giving them a heads up that I was sending in evidence regarding Kate's murder. Once I faxed off a copy to the SPD with specific instructions, I rushed back to the room.

I couldn't hold it in. I had to fucking see Carlisle Cullen, and it had to happen tonight.

***~C&B~***

The directions Edward had given me back in the room to Carlisle's house managed to get me lost a total of three times, but eventually I made it there. Edward and Bells had desperately wanted to come with me, but neither of them needed to be here for what I was about to do. They would have wound up taking the brunt of the backlash from the explosion I was about to unleash on this group of assholes.

I carried my gun in the sling hidden beneath my shirt as I wasn't sure how far Carlisle would be willing to go to keep the truth covered up. I sure as hell wasn't taking any chances.

I quickly texted Bells to let her know I'd finally made it, and so she wouldn't freak out if she couldn't get a hold of me.

Once I got to the door, I knocked and immediately heard voices inside. When it creaked open, I didn't know exactly what to expect, but the disgusting, blinding smile on Carlisle's face sure wasn't it. And that was all it took. Seeing this piece of shit that I'd actually called a friend smile as though he'd done no wrong made my blood boil. Seeing the broken man…boy fall apart in tears in agony at what he'd been subjected to sealed the fucker's fate.

"Charlie Swan? I'll be dam…"

He started to reach out for a hug, but I didn't give him the chance. My right hook connected with his face, sending him backwards onto his ass, blood gushing from his nose.

The next time his eyes met mine, excitement was void, and in its place was rage.

I heard several sets of feet on their tile floor come running to see what had just happened, I heard their gasps, but I refused to take my eyes off of him.

"What the fuck?!" a loud, masculine voice boomed, one I assumed belonged to Emmett.

"You," Carlisle hissed, slowly bringing himself to his feet. "You come here,_ to my house_…"

"_Shut the fuck up! _Don't you dare fucking threaten me you piece of shit!"

"Bella...she called you. What the hell did they tell you?"

I took the steps closer to him, bringing us nose to nose. "Don't say her name. To think that I actually let her move out here, thinking she was coming back to a good, god-fearing family and then, finding out what you've done to Edward through the years that we've been gone…_what the fuck is wrong with you?" _I yelled, furious as the son of a bitch began to laugh.

I didn't hesitate in bringing my knee forcefully up and into his groin, sending him back to the floor. "He was your son, Carlisle…you did this to your own fucking kid! What kind of man does that?"

"You have no fucking idea what you're talking about, Charlie. I don't know what they've told…"

I couldn't fucking hear anymore. I pulled the copies I'd made of the letter from my pocket and tossed one at the douchebag on the floor, and the remaining outwards into the space that the other five members stood watch. I'd caught enough voices to realize them to be Esme and the rest of the family.

"What the fuck is this?" Carlisle spat, hunched over the letter, blood still spilling from his nose.

"That? _That _is your ticket to prison, asshole. The one that your drug addicted, murdering son has held onto all these years. _That _is what the person you've all spent the past two years shitting on, has kept from you. The _only _fucking thing he's kept from you! You're fucking sick in the goddamned head, Carlisle. I don't know what the hell happened to you, but your son is more of a man than you could ever hope to be. It should be you, _not him_, being treated as the dirt beneath…"

"_Don't you _ever _call him that! He's not my son!"_

I glared furiously at him, my body shaking from wanting to kick the ever loving shit out of him, but one look in his eyes told me that there was something huge I was missing here. I looked up at Esme and saw her tearfully shake her head at me and then look down.

"Somebody better start explaining and now…you want to make an attempt at pleading your case, now's the time. And if I were you, I'd hurry the fuck up."

"Masen Edwards…" Carlisle whispered venomously.

I thought back and widened my eyes. "The cokehead that took up shelter at the Johnson's place? What the fuck does he have to do with any of this?"

Carlisle kept his gaze fixed on mine, not flinching, not moving. I looked to Esme and saw her falling apart. Emmett had turned his back to rest his face in the crook of who I assumed to be his wife's neck. Alice stood with her chin jutted out, arms crossed over her chest as she stared at me with hatred.

What they were telling me suddenly became clear, and my heart shattered.

"How the fuck is any of this shit possible?" I hissed. "_Does the kid even know?!"_

"If you'll let me the fuck up, I swear, I'll tell you everything, but you so much as lay another fucking finger on me again and I'm not telling you shit," Carlisle hissed, spitting blood at my feet.

"Listen here, motherfucker: you've insulted my daughter on more than one occasion, which that alone sentences you to fucking death in my book, but I've also got proof of your part in the murder of that bitch mistress slash play toy. And you should know, the police are now in possession of it as well, so you wanna try that one more time?"

"_You can go to fucking hell_," he shouted.

"Have it your way," I ground out, quickly flipping him onto his stomach and pulling the cuffs from my back pocket, slapping them to his wrists.

As I hauled him to his feet and began to pull him towards the front door, Alice came alive and began screaming as she approached me.

"How _dare _you," she screeched. "Who the hell do you think you are?"

"Alice, right?" I questioned, stopping for a second. "Look, you arrogant bitch, you may have acted the part of a saint in helping my Bells find a place here, but that's all you've done. She's seen your true colors now, and if you don't want to be brought in on charges of aiding and abetting, you better watch what you say."

When I glanced back at Emmett crying on the woman's shoulder, I noticed the copy of the note in his hand, as well as in a very tearful Esme's hands.

They knew.

**Okay, so originally the chapter was going to be long but RL came up and I just happened to be a great place to stop. The second half of Charlie's POV will hopefully be ready to post on Sunday night. **

**It's going to be heavy in emotion next chapter for sure...so, have tissues on hand :(**

**As always, leave some love! **

**T**


	30. Chapter 29

**I...there are no words...**

**See you all at the bottom, Lovelies!**

**ChPOV**

Never in a million years did I see something like this coming.

For as long as I'd known the Cullens, no one had ever hinted at Edward being someone else's child, least of all, the local cokehead's.

I just didn't how any of it was possible. I'd gone to college with Carlisle for fuck's sake! I'd been there when they found out Esme was pregnant. All three times!

Nothing ever seemed amiss, but looking into their eyes tonight…there was no doubt that what they were telling me was the truth.

After hauling Carlisle's pathetic ass to my patrol car and locking him in the backseat, I headed back to the house and found Alice waiting for me on the porch.

Yippee fucking ky-yay. I hadn't been here but maybe thirty minutes at the most and already I wanted to throat punch the little bitch. And I could say that; she wasn't a kid anymore.

"If you're planning on trying to talk me out of taking your bastard father, you're wasting your time. What's funny is, I can walk back inside that house and I'll find everyone in tears and completely distraught over what's come out tonight, but yet, you're out here, tear-free and ready to fight your father's battles. Something 's telling me that you know a hell of a lot more about all of this than you're letting on, and I can promise you, Alice, whatever it is that you're hiding…I'm going to find out."

"Do you honestly think that shit scares me? You have nothing proving my involvement, and that letter that you tossed around in there shatters your whole 'aiding and abetting' charge against me," she bit back, her glaring into mine. At this close proximity, I could see that her pupils were dilated and her eyes were overall glassy. Combining that with her attitude, defensiveness, and hostility, I laughed.

"Let me tell you something: that letter might clear your name, but that's only temporary. As soon as we get our hands on your dear old prick of a father, I can promise you that he will talk. And in the case that he doesn't squeal, I'm sure that your drug screen and the search warrant permitting us to rummage through your house will provide more than enough to put your bitch ass away. Don't you think?"

Alice's eyes widened, and I knew I had her. She quickly tried to cover up her reaction but it was already too late; I'd already seen it.

"What grounds could you possibly have for running a drug screen on me?"

"Sweetheart, I've been a fucking cop longer than you've been alive; I know the signs, and you suck at covering them up. Now that that's out in the open, how the hell can you justify you're behavior to yourself, and then turn around and crucify your brother for his?"

"You heard my dad; he's not my brother," she hissed, glaring at me and then averting her eyes to the ground.

"That's a crock of shit, and you know it. Edward's been with you all your life; you're just trying to use that as an excuse for all the hell you've put him through. Well, go back in the house, read the letter that I handed everyone. Maybe then you'll be ready to fucking talk."

Unable to stand being out there with her for another second longer, I headed back inside. The foyer of the house was empty, so after some walking around, I found that they had moved into the living room. Well, everyone but the tall, blonde guy that had been glued to Alice's side. Where he'd taken off to I hadn't the slightest fucking clue.

As I entered the room, Esme's remorseful eyes lifted to mine as she held the letter balled up in her left fist.

"Where is he?" she whispered.

"He's in the back seat of my cruiser out front, and he's staying there until SPD arrives to take his ass away."

"Not Carlisle; I meant Edward."

"He's okay and safe; Bells is with him. That's all you need to know. Now, we can sit here until the cops show and wait for the department to pull everything out of Carlisle during interrogation, or you can start talking."

"Ch-Charlie, I don't know w-what it is you expect me to…"

"Don't fucking sit here and bullshit me, Esme. I can see that you're trying to come off as devastated and compassionate, but make no mistake; I've heard all there was to hear from Edward and Bells, and you know what? There really wasn't much that they could say because you're just like everyone else. You're so far gone up you and your husband's asses that you don't know your fucking foot from a hole in the damn ground. I don't want to hear any sob stories; I want the explanation on exactly how it came to be that Edward isn't Carlisle's son."

"Well, it's obvious where Bella's charm came from," Esme snapped, daring to fix me with vengeful eyes.

"Do _not _push me; tell me what you know about all of this mess;" I ground out. "And leave my Bells out of this; we're talking about you and your family, not me and mine. Look, does the kid even know?"

I had to ask. I knew in my heart that Edward didn't have a fucking clue about any of this, but I had to hear it.

Esme's eyes became watery as she glanced down to her hands, and then looked over to Emmett. I watched as he nodded his head; obviously it was his way in telling her to cooperate.

"Everything started right after Emmett was born. Carlisle had just been awarded the Chief of Staff position at the hospital, and he was hardly home. You should remember, Emmett was a difficult baby. The colic was constant, and in addition to the teething, and no help, I was losing my mind. I sunk deep into post-partum depression, and with Carlisle being of no use to me, I felt alone. It was around that same time that Masen Edwards moved in a few houses down. As you know, he used to come around a lot, helping fix up the things in the house that were broken while Carlisle was at work. It really just started out as him being a good friend of mine, but eventually, it turned to more. Charlie, I swear, when I found out about the drug use, I called it off, but I found out two weeks later that I was pregnant. I didn't need a paternity test to prove to myself that it was his. I knew that once I came clean, it would destroy my marriage," she whispered, pausing for a second. It was then that I noticed Emmett and the others were no longer in the room. "Carlisle came home from work the same night that I'd taken the test. He approached me the next morning, ecstatic and smiling for the first time in months. I didn't have the heart to break it to him that the child wasn't his. The next time I saw Masen, I told him. At first, he lashed out at me and threatened to take my unborn child from me if I didn't come clean. But I shot back at him. I told him that if he ever breathed a word of it or came anywhere near my family again, I'd go to the police and tell them everything. That silenced him for years because he knew I had him."

"Bullshit. Why the hell would the simple threat of going to the police scare him off, Esme? If it was just drug possession, we would have just given him a slap on the wrist and he'd have done thirty days max. That's not enough to scare someone away from their own child."

"It wasn't just drug possession, Charlie. He was dealing drugs to every cokehead from here to Seattle to Portland. Anyway, as I said, I didn't hear from him for years. Carlisle had even begun asking questions about why he wasn't around anymore. It wasn't long after that that you guys busted him downtown for public intoxication. And as you know, that's when all ties were cut and he wound up moving. It was almost three years ago…I was out in the yard working on the garden. I watched as man approached the front door. I hadn't the slightest clue who it was. Before I knew it, Carlisle was hollering at the man. Alice and Emmett were in the kitchen. When I realized it was Masen, I knew the only thing he could have said that would have brought that kind of rage out in Carlisle. I got to my feet, and when I approached them, both sets of eyes locked on me; Masen's with satisfaction, and Carlisle's full of questions. I'll never forget the devastation and complete betrayal in his eyes when I confirmed what Masen had told him. By then, Alice and Emmett had come out to see what all the commotion was about. "

"If everyone knew, how is it that you all kept it from Edward? And none of this explains why Carlisle would do the things he's done to Edward."

"Edward was never around, and when he was, he was always with Kate. Looking back, I can remember thinking of some instances between Carlisle and Kate that just didn't seem right, but at that time, I didn't really put anything to it. I figured it was just Carlisle's way of making sure she was right for our son. I never thought for a second that he was sleeping with her."

"Is it possible that Carlisle knew about Edward's paternity before Masen showed up at your house? Because honestly, Esme, none of this is piecing together. If you're telling me that Carlisle didn't find out until after Edward was already with Kate, it doesn't explain the affair he was having with her beforehand. If you look at that letter again, she clearly says that she and Carlisle were together long before Edward ever came into her life."

"I guess its possible, but why would he deliberately keep that to himself?"

"Was he quick to forgive you?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Yes," she whispered. "But he also told me that if I even thought of leaving him, he'd strip me of everything I had. Charlie, I didn't want to leave. I loved my husband, my family…hell, I owed it to them to work it out. But Edward, once everything came out about the drugs and the murder of Kate, I couldn't ignore the evidence. I couldn't ignore the fact that his real father was a drug addict through and through and I guess I believed it was possible for him to have followed in Masen's footsteps."

"I-I can't listen to any more of this. You're just as fucking sick as they are," I growled, standing at precisely the same time the doorbell rang.

I mulled what she'd said over in my head as I walked into the foyer. I believed her story, but the last half of it just didn't add up. I had a hunch that Carlisle found out long before Masen showed up to their house. And my gut was telling me that there was a lot more to this feud between Carlisle and Masen than what Esme was letting on. Which meant only one thing: I was going to have to count on the interrogation of Carlisle—or fuck, even Alice—if I had any hope whatsoever of figuring this shit out.

And the part I was looking forward to the least? Having to break the news to Edward when I returned to the hotel.

One thing was for certain, I was going to have to call Bells to give her a heads up.

***~C&B~***

As the police drove away, hauling Carlisle to the station, I started to make my way back into the house, but once again, I was stopped by Alice.

This time though, her face was sullen and full of fear. Just for extra precaution, I reached my hand into my pocket, smiling on the inside when I gripped what I was looking for.

"What is it now?" I asked on an exhale, running my other hand over my face.

"If I talk…if I tell you everything you want to know, can you promise that I won't do time?"

"Seriously? You want me to try and cut you a deal just for talking? I'm not promising you shit, Alice. If there's something we need to know, something that will help us better understand what happened with your brother, then it's in your best interest to talk. We'll get it out of you one way or another; just remember that."

I turned to head back inside when she grabbed my arm.

"I knew that he was sleeping with Kate, but I didn't know he was responsible for her death."

Her eyes and tone of voice told me that she was telling the truth. The most disturbing part of that was the fact that she'd known about her father having an affair with Edward's fiancée, and she'd kept it covered up. In what world was that okay? I now knew that in order for me to figure the rest of this puzzle out, I was going to have to talk to Alice.

I gave her a stern look before pulling her off to the side.

"Start talking."

"Can we at least sit down somewhere?"

"You really want to try my patience? _Now_?" I questioned, raising my brow and feeling my 'stache twitch. I knew she'd seen it too because her eyes were glued to it. "I'm fucking waiting, Alice, and I don't have all damn night."

"I don't know how much you've been told about Kate, but she was my best friend. We went to college together, and being that her family lived across the country, she most often came home with me to Mom and Dad's for the weekends. She didn't meet Edward until a year or two after we'd become friends, but once they met, that was it. I swear, Charlie, I never knew about…"

"It's Chief Swan," I firmly told her.

With a roll of the eyes, she looked off to the right. "Okay, Chief Swan then. I didn't find out about her involvement with Dad until after she'd already started seeing Edward. Mom was out running errands when I called asking to borrow a pair of earrings. She told me that Dad was home and for me to just go on up to her bedroom to get them. When I got there, I could hear that Dad was in the shower. When I got to the bedroom, I found a pair of panties off to the side of the bed. I knew they were Kate's as I'd been with her when she bought them."

"Alice, what the hell are you hiding?" I asked, shaking my head in frustration.

"What? I'm standing here telling you what I know!"

"No, you're telling me only _part _of what you know. It makes no sense whatsoever for Carlisle to have started having an affair with her when he had no motive."

"He'd just learned that Edward wasn't his son!"

"True as that may be, I know Carlisle, and although that may have severely damaged his feelings toward Edward, it's not enough to have made him become the hateful bastard that he is now. So, I ask you again, what are you leaving out? And I suggest that you start with your own drug use because something tells me that's where the problem lies."

"Three months before Dad and Edward's practice opened, I ran into Masen. He'd showed up at a party that Kate threw for the opening of my fashion company. She claimed she didn't know or invite him, and I certainly didn't know him, not personally anyway. No one in the family—and especially Kate—knew that I'd experimented with drugs through college. I had managed to get ahold of an old friend from my secret circle weeks prior, looking for some coke. He told me that he knew a guy here who could hook me up losing Jasper did. When I realized that guy was Masen, and when he realized I was Carlisle and Esme's daughter, our deal took on a sour tone. He told me that the only deal he would strike with me was coke in exchange for sex. Chief Swan, I wasn't in a good frame of mind, and I didn't know anyone else that was selling. And I knew that there was no way I could put myself through a rehab program without my parents finding out, so I gave up. I let my addiction and need for a hit take over. I'm sure you can put two and two together. The arrangement between Masen and I continued for months, and just to be clear, I knew it was wrong and disgusting. I knew that I needed serious help. And worst of all, I hated that I was inadvertently hurting Edward. Anyway, Dad showed up at my apartment one day, completely unexpected and found me with Masen in bed. Of course, once we'd dressed, Dad literally threw him out of the apartment and threatened that if he ever caught Masen within a hundred feet of me or my home, he'd have him arrested. No one in the family outside of Dad ever found out about it. But something in Dad changed that day. He started going on about how if it hadn't been for Masen, Edward wouldn't exist and none of that would have ever happened. At first, I fought him on it, but then it started to make sense. The only reason that Masen was snooping around, the only reason he'd made the arrangement with me, was to get back at Carlisle and get closer to Edward. Edward was the center of the problem."

"So you're telling me that all this hatred you and Carlisle feel in regard to Edward stems from _your _fuck up? From your coke addiction? How does that work? You're obviously still getting hits and I highly doubt that Carlisle allowed you to keep your arrangement with Masen, so where the hell are you getting it from?"

"Not from Masen. Dad helped me through rehab, but after two months of being clean and sober, I relapsed on drugs I found in Dad's suit jacket one night. When he learned that I was back on coke, he amped things up with Kate and swore me to secrecy, threatening to out me to the family, and Jasper. And yes, I'd been with Jasper during the same time I'd had the arrangement with Masen; I just got good at keeping it hidden. Outing me to the family didn't scare me near as much as the thought of losing Jasper did. Anyway," she started, wiping at her eyes, "Dad came to me one day and told me that he'd make me a deal; if I kept quiet about his relationship with Kate and his occasional dabbles in drugs, he'd supply me with the coke I needed."

Jesus fucking Christ. How much more complicated was this shit going to get?

"Where in God's name was he getting it from?"

"Well, the pills and shit he got from the hospital, naturally. But the coke he buys from some hot shot out here. I think his name is Aro."

This was….

Damn. I had no fucking words.

"Okay, Alice, I think you've said more than enough. I do have a question for you though; how do you feel now that you know it was Carlisle who was responsible for killing Kate? How does it feel to know that you helped your father pin your brother for something that he didn't do?"

"If Edward had never come into our lives, none of this shit would have happened!" she shouted at me, angry tears streaming.

"So you're blaming him for your addiction to coke? If everything you just told me was the truth, Edward never became an issue until Carlisle found you fucking Edward's father for a fix. You need help, Alice. It wasn't Edward's fault. He's the only innocent one in all of this mess. Right now, he thinks that Carlisle's his father. In his mind, his parents and siblings turned their backs on him and threw him to the fucking wolves. As soon as I leave here, I get to go and break him even further by telling him that Carlisle isn't his real father, but that known cokehead is. Maybe once you've had time to mull this over in your head, you'll realize that it was your sick arrangement with that man that started all of this shit. And another thing, you might want to come clean of everything to your family, including Jasper, because they're going to find out. Soon."

"You're going to tell them?" she shrieked, eyes wide and full of fear.

And I didn't feel an ounce of sympathy for her.

"No," I whispered. "You are," I answered, winking at her as I pulled my tape recorder from my pocket and watched in delight as her face was drained of color.

I then headed back into the house, finding everyone once again gathered in the living room, Alice slowly following behind me.

Every set of eyes focused on me, and every set was the same.

Except one.

Emmett.

I'd yet to talk to him, but if his reaction to the truth was anything to go by, he was the only one in this room with hope at regaining a relationship with Edward.

Though I couldn't be certain about that, there was just something about it all that told me he still cared about what happened with his brother.

"What could you possibly have to say now? Haven't you done enough?" Esme cried, but her tears meant nothing to me, nor did they move me.

"Oh, I'm nowhere near done yet. I'm heading out for tonight, but you can bet your ass that you'll be hearing from me tomorrow. But I think Alice has something she'd like to say," I said, turning to face Alice and watching as she took in each one of their expectant glances.

With that, I turned to leave.

"Chief Swan, wait!" Emmett called out, stopping me outside the entrance to the living room.

"What is it, Emmett?"

"Can you take me to Edward?" he pleaded on a broken whisper.

"I don't think he wants to see any of you for a while. If there's anything you want to say to him, call him, but I can't promise he'll pick up."

"I've tried. It goes to voicemail."

"There's a reason for that. And no, I'm not bringing you to him. You need to sit and listen to what Alice is about to tell you because trust me, if you care anything at all about Edward, you'll want to hear it. Besides, I've got to break the news to him that everything in his life from the time he was born was a fucking lie. That everything he thought he knew about his family was indeed a lie."

It was with those last words that I left Emmett standing there and headed out the door to my car.

***~C&B~***

On the way back to the hotel in Seattle, I pulled off at a gas station, needing to clear my head and give Bells a head's up of what was to come. I knew it wasn't going to go over well, and I knew that next to getting Bells through her rehab months ago, this was going to be the hardest thing either of us would ever have to do.

And so help me God, I didn't want to do it. I didn't want to be the man responsible for shattering the remaining shreds of hope the poor guy had.

After texting Bells and learning that Edward was asleep, I thought it best to call her through Facetime as I didn't want to have the conversation through texts, and—call me a glutton for punishment—I needed to see her reaction, see if she was capable of handling this.

When she answered and her sweet face came onto the screen, I could tell that she'd gone out on to the balcony, probably to refrain from waking Edward up.

"Dad, what's going on?"

"Are you smoking?" I exclaimed in shock, seeing a cloud of smoke billow around her head.

"Yes, I am, and we're aren't talking about it. I can tell you're about to fucking explode with anger…"

"That obvious, huh?"

"Yeah, your pornstache is twitching."

I groaned and winced. "Do us both a favor and never refer to it as that again. You're my daughter for Christ's sake, Bells. Look," I said with a sigh, "a lot of information came out tonight. And none of it is going to go over well with Edward. In fact, nothing about it is going to be easy for either one of us to explain to him."

Her brow furrowed as the worry shone in her eyes. "What happened?"

"For starters, I had Carlisle arrested for manslaughter, all thanks to the note from Edward's ex. And while that would probably make Edward happy, the rest I fear will destroy him, Bells."

"Dammit, Dad, spit it out. What the hell did they tell you?"

"Carlisle isn't Edward's father, Bells. Esme had an affair after Emmett was born and covered it up. His real father is Masen Edwards, a cokehead that is well known in the Seattle and Forks area."

"Oh, Daddy, no," she whispered, her voice breaking as tears began to fall. Her expression showed it all and confirmed for me just how big this really was.

"I'm afraid that's not all, honey," I choked, feeling my own eyes begin to sting from the salt of my tears. "This Masen character got in touch with Alice and pushed her into an arrangement where he was trading her coke for sex. Alice has an addiction of her own that she and Carlisle have kept under wraps all these years. Carlisle found out about it and blames everything on Edward. The way he and Alice are thinking—and this came from her earlier tonight—if Edward had never come into the picture, Masen never would've found her and she never would have been put in that situation. It goes a lot deeper than that, but I'll explain the rest when I get there. I just…Bells, I wanted to give you a head's up. When I get there, we're going to have to wake him and one way or another, we have to break the news to him. I know that he's been through hell and…"

"I don't know if I can do that to him, Dad," she cried, her tears coming down harder now as the screen of her phone began to vibrate, most likely from her hands shaking.

"Bells, honey, I know how hard this is going to be, and believe me, I don't want to do it either, but Edward's been lied to long enough. It's time that someone tell him the truth."

"So, they all fucking knew?" she hissed, furiously wiping at her eyes.

"Apparently. Esme said that they found out before everything went awry with Edward, meaning that Carlisle was already involved with Kate when he learned of Edward's true paternity. I never got a clear answer, but obviously, things between Carlisle and Esme were rocky before any of this came to light. I assume that when Carlisle found out about Alice and Masen, something was said and just never mentioned until Masen showed up at their house and unleashed the truth on them all."

"When will you be here?"

"I've still got about an forty minutes to go, but if you can try and wake him up, that would be best. And try, honey, try to keep your emotions under control. Don't freak him out because that'll only make things worse."

"Okay. Love you, Dad," she murmured quietly, her eyes tearing up once more.

"Love you, too, Bells."

***~C&B~***

When I finally arrived back at the room, I found Bells being held tightly in Edward's arms and on his lap as they sat on the bed watching who knows what on tv. Bells barely met my eyes, and to me, someone who'd known her her whole life, I could see that she was hanging on to her sanity by a thread.

Edward seemed to be none the wiser as he smiled at me upon entering.

"Hey Charlie," he rasped out.

When this was all said and done, someone seriously needed to take this kid to a fucking barber; his hair was ridiculous.

"Son," I started gruffly, scratching at my head.

Hey, I never said I was good at hiding my emotions.

"What's going on?" he asked, his voice dropping an octave as anxiety made itself known.

"Bells, I'll handle this, okay? Just…stay inside. Edward, son, I need to talk to you about something. Balcony?"

"Doll?" he questioned quietly, his brow furrowed as he craned his head around to look at Bells. Unfortunately, her tears couldn't be held back and I had been wrong; this was too much for her.

"It's okay; I'm okay, baby. Just, Dad has something he needs to talk to you about regarding what happened tonight. I-I'll be right here if you need me, okay?"

"What the…okay, you both are starting to freak me the fuck out."

"Come on, son," I coaxed him, tearing my eyes away from Bells, whose heart was breaking before my own eyes.

I watched as she stood from the bed and leant over, taking his face in her hands and kissing him briefly before sniffling and walking to the bathroom. Edward's eyes watched her until that door shut behind her, then shot to me.

With an apologetic look from me, he slowly stood and headed out to the balcony.

At first, it began with extreme denial and musings at every possible scenario that might hint at it all being a lie to cover a lie.

But once the truth had set in, he'd lashed out, pulling at his hair, biting his fists so hard that he drew blood.

His body, already completely wracked and beaten with the remaining effects of the overdose and ongoing withdrawals, shook violently.

For as long as I live, I will never forget the devastation that poured from his eyes.

I'll never forget the cries of anger, cries of betrayal, and tears for a family he felt he'd lost but had never really had.

With each word I said to him, a more violent reaction came.

His outbursts finally ended with him curled up against the railing of the balcony, his knees to his chest. Tortured cries that pleaded for my Bells were all that could be heard.

When she'd come out, although she hadn't been out here, I knew she'd watched through the windows, and she was in just as bad of shape as he.

Bells immediately flew to him, wrapping him tightly in her arms as he clung to her with all the strength he had left, his sobs completely shattering my heart for the thousandth time that night.

Together they cried while I stood and looked out onto the city, unseeing. The ache in my chest grew more painful with each sniffle, each tearful whisper, and each gasp of breath they took.

It just wasn't fair. None of this was fair, and as I angrily wiped the tears from my face, I made a silent promise to myself and to my two lifelines huddled together on the cold ground that I would put an end to this tragedy and I wouldn't stop.

Not until I had all of them behind bars. Not until the broken man that I now looked to as my own son was redeemed and healthy with his pride and dignity back intact.

And as I cast my eyes back upon them, I couldn't resist the pull I felt to hold them close to me.

We, me and Bells…we were his family now

It was with that thought in mind that I quickly closed the distance and fell to my knees beside them, wrapping my arms firmly around them both as I tearfully locked eyes with my daughter.

**I can honestly say that the ending to this chapter was one of the hardest I've had to write yet. **

**I can only hope you all enjoyed it.**

**Next chapter, we're back to Edward's POV.**

**Leave some love!**

**T**

**And for those that haven't read A Home for the Holidays by CullensTwiMistress...You're missing out big time! It's now complete**


	31. Chapter 30

**I apologize for the few days it took to get this one out. **

**It's really hard getting into the frame of mind for a situation such as the one Edward is currently in :(**

**I'll see you Lovelies at the bottom...**

**EPOV**

I was lost.

I hadn't the slightest clue of who I really was anymore.

All I knew was that the muscle spasms, the nausea, the constant ache I felt from my head down to my toes and the biting pain down in my bones was _nothing _compared to the hurt in my heart.

The shock of Charlie's words had long faded away and left me to feel the full brunt of the truth. Leaving my heart annihilated.

Despite everything that my fa—_they_—had done to me, nothing had proved to be as fucking devastating as this. For years, they'd lied to me by keeping the truth from me. For years, I'd been shunned and put through hell, convinced that I was nothing more than a low-life, drug addicted junkie, but come to find out, Alice had been addicted to harder shit for even longer than me.

And the bullshit didn't end there.

Knowing that she and my fath—_Carlisle_—had kept it hidden, that he had been fucking supplying her was like rubbing salt in my already bared wound.

There were so many aspects of my life that I was being forced to fucking re-evaluate that it made my head pound with excruciating pain.

The worst part about this all was that my craving for the fucking pills had _never_ been this intense; it damn near felt as though I couldn't breathe. And I knew of one place where a few pills might still remain, but to give in and actually take one would be letting myself, and Bella, down.

It would be letting them win. Letting them defeat me.

But knowing that Masen Edwards was, allegedly, my biological father fucked with me more than anything else. I'd seen him around a few times, and although there was always a weird stare, I never thought anything of it.

Well, other than the fact that he was fucking douchebag, and I mean that. He was a damn bum that sold shit coke on the streets. The guy was probably the biggest fucking junkie I've ever encountered, and that was really saying something because I'd seen some jacked up people in the past few years.

Having it settle in that I, a former doctor addicted to fucking opiates, was the son of the town cokehead only solidified my views on myself. And Bella didn't fucking deserve to be putting up with this shit.

I glanced across the table at her, seeing that her eyes were closed and she was taking in heavy deep breaths. I knew, looking back on her behavior since Charlie had arrived tonight, that she was scared and hurting_ for _me.

I fucking hated that.

Though it wasn't necessarily my fault, it was because of me that she was feeling so much pain. That in and of itself made me hate myself that much fucking more.

I closed my eyes and flexed my jaw, teeth grinding together in frustration at the whole fucking situation we were in, and Bella would never have been in this shit if it weren't for me.

As I continued on, letting the pain, guilt, and self-loathing have me, her hand reached out, taking mine.

"Edward," Charlie started, his voice pulling me from my haze as I'd somehow forgotten he was even here. "Son, I can't imagine what's going through your mind right now, but I want you to know that you have absolutely nothing to feel ashamed about; nothing to be afraid of. You're the same man you were this morning, the same man that my…"

"I appreciate the sentiment, Charlie, but its bullshit," I quietly uttered. "I'm not the same fucking man. I have nothing left. Emmett, Rose, the boys…Alice and Carlisle," I whispered with venom, "They're nothing to me. I have no claim on them, which explains why they've treated me as they have. Fuck, even my own fucking mother can't be bothered to give a shit about me, and knowing that my real father is a fucking cokehead makes sense. Why the fuck would she want anything to do with me when I've got his blood running through my veins? When I've followed in his footsteps?" I told him, my voice cracking. "And Jesus, look at Bella! She wouldn't be in this fucking shit if it weren't for me! Now, because of how fucked I am, she's got two lethal drug dealers after her! She…"

"Stop, Edward," her weakened, emotion filled voice spoke out as she stood from her chair and looked down at me, her brow furrowed. "Don't you dare sit there and talk about me as if I'm not in the same goddamn room. You are _not_ following in that bastard's footsteps. And as for that pathetic excuse of a family that _lied_ to you, they are the ones that should be wallowing in their fucking guilt. You are still and always will be the amazing, beautiful, compassionate man that I…that I've…" she tearfully sobbed. "I'm sorry; I need a minute," she rasped, swallowing down her tears as she grabbed my pack of cigarettes from the pack and headed for the balcony.

"Bella," I called out as she continued outside, throwing her hand up to stop me.

As I knew I would, I'd hurt her and fucked up…yet again.

"Shit," I sighed, rubbing my eyes, trying to stop the wetness from falling.

"You've been dealt a real shitty hand these past few years, Son, and I know that tonight was a big fucking blow, but that's not who you are. The truth hurts, I know; just imagine what it was like for me when I discovered Bells was a heroin addict, and I was a damn cop. But you know what? Being an addict didn't change who she was, Edward. To get her life back, she leaned on those that loved her and sought help. She eliminated the negative influences from her life. But through all that, she was still that same little girl I'd loved inside. You are no different, Son. You've been surrounded by nothing but betrayal, abandonment, lies, and a life of crime for too long. I can see just from your actions and what you've told me that you only sought out the drugs to numb the pain. Me and Bells, we can help you with that, and we will. You don't have _nothing _left—you've got us. And don't tell me that it means nothing because whether you're willing to admit to it or not, you love my daughter. I can see it, and I know she doesn't. To get through this and come out on top, you don't only need commitment and the will power to change, but you need support. A rock that you can lean on and confide in. You need her, Edward, but if you keep on talking about things like if she hadn't come into your life, none of this would be happening to her, you'll continue hurting her. She deserves better, and I know that if you would quit pushing her away and let her in on what's really going on in that head of yours, you could achieve it."

He was right.

He was fucking right in everything he said.

I loved her. I admitted that to myself a long time ago. It was the letting myself confess that to her that was the problem.

And I didn't know how to make myself believe that I was worth all this trouble they were both going through for me.

When the dams opened the fuck up and my eyes began pouring again, Charlie rose from his seat and was crouched beside me with his arms wrapped firmly around me. Something in me broke then as I fisted the back of his shirt in my hands and let it all out into the fabric on his shoulder.

His hand came to rest on top of my head, just as a father would do to comfort his own son.

My body jerked with the hiccups from the immense amount of anguish I was unleashing.

"It's okay, Son," he whispered against my head. "You're going to be okay. I swear on my daughter's life, I'm going to get the both of you out of this shit. Once and for all."

***~C&B~***

I wasn't sure how long I'd sat there crying my fucking eyes out on his shoulder, but Charlie had remained there until my eyes ran dry.

It was as he took a step back and excused himself to the bathroom that Bella came and knelt down in front of me.

"Doll," I started, my voice hoarse.

She pressed the fingertips of one hand against my lips, as her other hand gripped mine tightly.

"Baby, I'm sorry," she murmured with watery eyes as she looked at me, her gaze never wavering. "Even though I meant the things I said, the last thing you needed was for me to lash out like I did. Now wasn't the time for that, and you've been through so much that…" she continued, her voice holding more and more emotion with each word she spoke.

I shook my head as I tugged on her hand, pulling her up and into my lap. With my arms wrapped around her, I rested my head against her collarbone after placing a kiss against her neck.

"Later, okay?" I asked, as her hand began to comb through my hair.

"Okay."

When Charlie finally reemerged from the fucking bathroom, he'd taken one look at Bella in my arms and nodded his head at me in what I took to be approval.

"All right," he said, followed by a sigh. "I think I'm going to head back to the room, and give you two some time alone. I've got to put in a few phone calls before I call it a night anyway."

"Charlie, you don't have to go," I said, clearing my throat afterwards.

Fuck did I ever need a glass of water.

"You've had a long day, Edward. Getting some sleep is what the both of you need right now. Just give me a call when you guys get up in the morning. And if you need anything, you know where I am."

Bella's lips pressed gently against my temple as she gave my hand a squeeze before getting up and walking over to Charlie.

"Thank you," I heard her murmur as she hugged him. And just as he had done to me earlier, his hand went to her head.

"You don't have to thank me, Bells."

They exchanged more words, but the pain I'd been trying to ignore and had pushed to the back of mind was rearing its ugly fucking head again, only now it was even more intense than before. I kept my head down, not wanting to worry them further. Although, there was no way around it with Bella. She could read me like a book.

Once Charlie had left, Bella had suggested that we take a bath to try and ease some of my aches. She'd only said we because she fucking knew I wasn't letting her out of my sight tonight.

I needed her too much, and I didn't want to be alone.

As much as I don't want to fucking admit this, I was afraid that—if left alone—I would become so consumed by the heartache and pain, I'd do something stupid. I don't really think I need to elaborate on what I mean by that.

"I'm going to go get the water running, okay?" she asked, rubbing my arm affectionately as I stood outside, puffing on a damn cigarette.

Eventually, I needed to quit that shit too, but it sure as fuck wasn't going to be anytime soon.

I exhaled and nodded, leaning over to lightly kiss her lips but I couldn't find it in myself to pull away. My arm hooked around her waist and pulled her close to me as I flicked the cigarette butt over the balcony. We stood folded in each other's arms for a minute before she ran her hand in a circle against my back and pulled away with a soft smile, heading into the bathroom.

Our bath was taken in silence, neither of us saying a word. Instead, it had been full with soothing touches and gentle caresses. And she had been right; it did help with some of the muscle aches, but all I had to do was let myself start thinking about shit again and I was right back at square one.

When we finally crawled into bed, we lay facing either other, our bodies intertwined. Our heads lay on the pillows as we gazed at one another. Her eyes full of worry; mine empty.

It was as her hand played with the small patch of hair on my chest that she literally pleaded with me to talk to her. And I knew what it was she wanted me to talk about. My pain, my hurt, everything I'd been through tonight.

I wanted to. God, I fucking wanted to, but I was afraid of not wording things the right way Afraid of leaving something out, and fucking terrified of saying those words that Charlie had mentioned.

Fuck, there was a big chance I wouldn't be able to bring myself to say them tonight, but the biggest surprise for me was that I actually _wanted_ to.

But my biggest priority was going to be trying to lay everything I was feeling out there for her so she would better understand what was going on with me. I didn't want to hurt her by pushing her away or making her think I didn't care, and I knew that if I continued talking about how things would have been had she not reunited with me, that was exactly what would happen.

"I just…I'm lost, Doll," I whispered. "All these years, I've subjected myself to a lifestyle I never wanted. I've been threatened, forced to kill, and for what? My only reason for having continued on in Aro's crew was to protect my family because no matter how they fucking treated me, I still loved them; I wanted them back. Tonight blew all of that to shit and now I'm left with nothing. Carlisle was fucking doing business with Aro and giving it to Alice for fuck's sake. I mean nothing to those people," I rasped, trying as hard as I fucking could to hold in the tears.

"I used to think that I was the luckiest man in the world to have had the wonderful childhood that I did, to have gone to a prestigious college of my choice, and fuck, even open up a practice with Da…_Him._ I'd never felt more love, but after all that happened, and the way they abandoned me without a moment's fucking hesitation proved one thing to me: they'd never loved me at all. And if that's how they treat the people they love, then I wanted no part in it. Doll, I tried to convince myself of all that, but no matter what, my need for their acknowledgment and affection remained, regardless of how they gave it. What Charlie told me tonight, I never fucking saw it coming. And as I said before, it makes perfect sense to me why they were so quick to turn their backs on me. Especially Mom. And that almost hurts worse than the actual news of my paternity; knowing that my own fucking mother, the one person who should have been by my side through it all, shunned me and chose the side of a man who was set out to destroy me, regardless of the fact that he'd fucking raised me! All they saw was that I was the son of a fucking cokehead, and to them, I had followed in his footsteps. I know you don't believe that, but it's all I have to grasp on to that makes any of this shit make sense. I'm a fucking pathetic, worthless addict that has not only made a mess of his life, but I've dragged you down with me, and that…that's the most painful part of all of this, Bella."

Her hands came up to cup my cheek, her thumb rubbing soothing circles against my skin. "Eddie…"

I covered her hand with my own, turning my face just slightly and kissing her wrist. "Please, Doll, let me finish, okay?" I asked with a sniffle as she closed her eyes and nodded, moving her hand down to lay flat against my chest, covering my heart. "When I say things that seem to convey that I wish you hadn't come back, you have to know that that's not how I intend for it to come out. I could never regret you coming back into my life because you actually see a side of me that no one has cared to take notice of in years. It's the fact that I know how hard you worked to get yourself where you are today, and for you to have moved here and been dragged in to all this just makes my stomach turn. I can't help but blame myself. Lies, betrayal, fucking _killing_…Doll, it's all I've known for too long now, and eventually, you'll see the truth about me; I'm afraid that when you do, you'll leave. And…" I said, my voice finally breaking under the pressure of my tears.

"Edward, I'm sorry, but I've got to stop you here. I can't…I can't hear anymore," she cried. "You're looking at all of this the wrong way; you're focusing on the negative and part of that is the depression you're under due to your withdrawals. You are a level-headed, wonderful man with a beautiful soul, and I know that _you_ don't see it, but it's the truth. I realize how badly the news hurt you tonight, and believe me, it's breaking my heart, but it's not your fault. Any of it. All their words accomplished tonight was the loss of the one amazing soul they had left in that bullshit family. Emmett and Rose especially, had their eyes opened wide to all of the deceit and manipulation Carlisle and Alice dished out. And soon enough, Jasper will know too. They're the ones with nothing left. You've got a bigger heart than the lot of them combined, Edward. And its what you've been put through with Aro and shit doesn't make you who you are. You can't let it define you, baby. I've seen that you're so much more than that, and with a little help, you can get your life back. I'm not leaving you; not ever. Nothing you've told me or shown me has scared me off yet, and it won't. You're stuck with me whether you like it or not, Cullen. Charlie _will_ get us out of this," she ended firmly, her hand beginning to shake as it rested against my neck.

"Why, Doll? Why do you fight so hard? What could you possibly have to gain from being with someone like me?" I asked into the darkness, just barely able to make out her eyes and the glimmer reflected on the wetness that covered her cheek.

I watched her eyes go from pleading, to panicked, to skeptical all in the span of about ten seconds. I didn't know what to fucking make of it.

Had I finally asked the one question that she couldn't come up with an answer to?

Her eyes closed as a solitary tear fell, and she moved her head just slightly closer.

"I fight because you're the most important person in my life, Edward. I fight because it feels like I can't breathe without you near me. And I fight…" she paused, opening her eyes and licking her lips. "I fight because I love you."

All the air rushed from my lungs, leaving me completely stunned and at a loss for fucking words.

The truth of her words were staring right back at me, and suddenly, a part of my heart that had been black for so long began to brighten and fill with warmth. She'd spoken three words I hadn't heard in far too long and honestly, never thought I'd hear said to me again.

I hadn't realized just how badly I'd needed to hear them until just then.

I brought my hand up, no longer caring if I cried or not, and cradled her face. "Say it again," I asked nearly inaudibly.

With a soft smile, she brushed her nose against mine before pulling back just enough to look into my eyes. "I love you."

"Again," I groaned, pulling her body as tight to mine as I could get it.

Then with a little giggle, she brought her lips to the corner of my mouth, her hand burying itself in my hair. "I fucking love you," she whispered softly, finishing with a lingering kiss to my lips.

I didn't need to think it over. I already knew what I both wanted, and needed, to say to this beautiful woman in my arms.

"Jesus Christ, I love you too, Doll. I fucking love you too," I broke as our lips came together.

**So, the words have been spoken. *sigh***

**I just love these two...**

**Next chapter will lighten up a bit ;)**

**And I'm sorry if I don't respond to your reviews, but the response to this fic lately and my current crackfic are completely blowing me away and its near impossible keeping up with it all LOL! So THANK YOU!**

**Leave some love!**

**T**


	32. Chapter 31

**I won't keep you, Lovelies! **

**See you at the bottom!**

**BPOV**

I knew he wasn't sleeping.

I could feel his eyes on me each time I woke throughout the night.

The cold sweat and tremors that rocked through him had woken me on numerous occasions. His withdrawal symptoms were beginning to intensify, and the heartache of last night had only made it worse.

I knew he needed to take the clonidine that the doctor had prescribed, as it would help ease the pain he was in, but I didn't want to push him.

As it was, he lay in the same position I remember him being when I'd fallen asleep last night. He was pressed against my back, his arms tightly wound around my waist, his face buried in my hair, mouth brushing gently along my neck.

Though I longed to have him make love to me again, now wasn't the time. His body was in no shape for it and he wasn't exactly in the best state of mind. And me…well, I was flat out fucking exhausted. I had no doubt that once he started to feel better, that he would return to the sexy as hell, smart ass that I'd fallen in love with.

Right now, I just worried about him. He was going through so much, and even with the trip to Louisiana that Charlie was making us take, I feared he'd still be looking over his shoulder at all times. Just counting the seconds until Aro's crew found him.

And then add to that the horrible way in which he'd found out about his father, and the numerous other secrets the Cullens had kept from him just…

I was paying Alice a fucking visit before we left, and that's all there was to it.

If she thought she could put Edward through all of this and not have to answer for it, she had another thing coming. I knew he wouldn't like the idea, but I was past the point of caring. He was just going to have to understand.

"You're doing it again, Doll," his voice rasped into my ear as his arms tightened.

"Doing what?" I hummed, smiling to myself.

"Grinding your teeth. I really wish you wouldn't fucking do that," he groaned.

I slowly turned to face him, taking note of how the rings under his eyes had darkened, and the desperate way in which he was trying to keep them open.

I stretched my hand toward his face, gently brushing against the stubble of his jaw before moving up to sweep his dampened hair from his forehead.

This morning, I didn't give a shit about the morning breath. None of that mattered as I softly pressed my lips to his.

"I'd ask how you slept, but I'm afraid that you didn't," I whispered as he shook his head and smirked.

"I look that rough, huh?"

"Its not so much that as it is the fact that I felt your eyes on me all night," I answered, glancing down at his chest.

"I had a lot to think about," he told me gruffly.

"Baby, you have _got _to get some sleep. I know it isn't fucking easy, but you'll feel so much better afterwards."

"Really, Doll, I'm okay. I'm hurting like a mother fucker, but the last thing I want to do is sleep. I just…I want…" he began to tell me but I could see from the longing in his eyes what it was he wanted.

I'd been there.

When I'd first arrived at the rehab facility in California, despite how shitty I felt or how many times the doctors told me to rest and sleep, I couldn't. I would fight my sleep just for the sake of being around others, for the sheer feeling of not being alone. It was all psychological, and while I know Edward knew that he wasn't alone in this, it didn't make it any different for him.

I was just going to have to let him go through this on his own time. I couldn't push it to go any faster or try to change any aspect of this process. It was something that he needed to experience if he had any chance of making it out of this detox strong.

"Will you at least take the clonidine? Please, baby? It'll help you not hurt so bad," I pleaded with him, running my nails along the skin of his back.

"Where is it?" he asked quietly, his lips curving upward at the corner.

"Really? That easy? No sarcasm?" I exclaimed, letting out a laugh.

One of his brows raised as he pulled back a bit. "Do you _want _sarcasm? Because I could totally fucking do that."

I couldn't stop myself from kissing him when he was being fucking playful and smiling at me the way he was now.

"It's in the drawer of your nightstand," I told him, moving away to sit up.

"Why'd you move?" he whined, flipping onto his back, but looking at me with a pouty lip.

I don't think he realizes just how fucking dangerous that lip was for me.

_Anything _adorable on Edward was a fucking weakness for me.

"I moved because there's no way in hell I can go back to sleep, and I…"

I had to look away because the wetness pooling between my legs was increasing with each grin he gave me. Each glance.

I heard him as he grabbed the pill bottle from the drawer, and kept my eyes glued to the duvet as he rose from the bed to get a drink of water.

What I didn't expect was for him to crawl back into bed and push his hand between my legs to palm my pussy.

I gasped as my fingers clawed at the sheets.

"Ed—Edward…wh-what…"

"I may be in pain," he whispered, his lips softly brushing and nipping my collar bone. "I might be craving a fucking fix," he murmured, licking a path up my neck to my earlobe where he lightly bit down. "But right now, I'm fucking hungry…and not for room service."

I couldn't even formulate a response as his palm began to move against me, playing me like a fucking violin.

Every nerve ending in my body was a live wire as his free hand roamed over my body, twisting and pulling, rubbing and scratching, skimming and groping. His wonderful mouth followed his hand in a scorching trail, leaving me shuddering and twitching with the desire coursing through my veins.

I needed him.

I yearned for him, for a release.

And when I had enough sense of mind to actually open my eyes and gaze at him, he was looking up at me from between my legs, his mouth resting at my clit as he breathed hotly against the moist barrier of my panties.

Feral hunger blazed back at me in his eyes as his hands came to hold my hips to the mattress.

"Oh fuck!" I screamed out as his tongue flicked out against my clit, sending a chill through me and bringing my back up off the fucking mattress.

Again and again his tongue teased me, flattening out occasionally for a long, solid lick.

And as if the ministrations of his ever-talented mouth weren't enough, the sounds coming from him…

"Ungh! Edward," I whimpered, fisting my hands in his hair as he tugged the crotch of my panties to the side and slid two of his long, fuck-me fingers inside.

"You like that, baby?" he asked huskily, his voice raw with lust. "Does that feel good?" he questioned, pumping them harder as he hummed against me, the vibrations nearly pushing me over the edge.

Despite his efforts to hold down my hips, I bucked up against him, taking his fingers deep inside.

I continued writhing on the bed, my hips gyrating against his hand and mouth. His fingers hooked inside me, hitting that spot and fucking shattering the coil.

His fingers relentlessly fucked me as I rode those final waves, and before I could completely come down, Edward removed his fingers and replaced them with his tongue.

He made one pass through my folds before looking up at me with a grin. "Give me another one, Doll."

***~C&B~***

"Feel better?" he asked smugly as we stood out on the balcony, his hands braced on the railing at either side of me as we shared a smoke.

"That's one way of putting it," I replied, unable to keep the smile out of my voice. "Still wish you'd let me return the fucking favor."

"Doll, this time it was about you. Besides, I honestly think just the fucking exertions from coming would have caused me more pain."

"Are you hungry?" I asked without even fucking thinking.

With a raised brow, he took a drag off the cigarette and smiled. "You want more?"

"I'm talking about real food, jack ass."

"Oh, well in that case, a little I guess. Are you going to call Charlie up?"

"Maybe in a minute. I think it would be wise to let the room air the fuck out before having him over, don't you think?" I asked as he winked at me.

"I probably should brush my teeth too, huh?"

And we're back to me wanting to both beat him and fuck him at the same time.

"Oh and Doll, I forgot to mention before we got distracted…your phone went off all fucking night. I didn't check it or anything though."

"Shit," I hissed, took another long drag, kissed him chastely, and headed back inside.

Edward didn't know as I'd yet to tell him, but Emmett and Esme had been texting me like fucking crazy last night in hopes of getting a hold of Edward. I'd received a few from Alice and one from Jasper, pleading for Edward to call him, but I had ignored them all, not giving them the satisfaction of a response.

Sure, it might be wrong having kept it from Edward, but with all that he'd gone through last night, I didn't want to cause any more drama. They didn't deserve his attention or his time, and while some might call it selfish, I felt as though I was protecting him in my own way.

But now? Now it was starting to piss me the fuck off. I couldn't turn my phone off due to the situation, and I didn't have the fucking time to block them all.

Finding my phone over on the dresser, I picked it up and sat at the edge of the bed, closing my eyes and trying to prepare myself.

Nothing could have prepared me for what waited for me.

Fifteen missed calls and texts from Emmett alone.

Six missed texts from Esme, three from Rose, three from Alice—fucking bitch—and four from Jasper.

These were all in addition to the shit they'd sent last night before Edward and I had gone to bed.

**Bella, please! I know you're angry but you fucking owe me! Just let me talk to Edward.—Em**

**Look, I'm sorry, okay? I know now just how wrong I was…just, I'm begging you.—Em**

**I don't know who you think you are, but you have no right keeping us from him. He's my son. –Esme**

**I know I have no right to ask you this, but could you please have Edward call me, Bella? I need to make things right.—Jasper**

**Are you fucking happy now you little bitch!—Alice**

"So what's the deal?" Edward asked, his voice startling me.

With each message, I grew more and more angry.

"It's nothing," I answered, shaking my head.

But then his hand was in front of me outstretched as he looked at me with an arched brow and frown upon his lips.

"You're a terrible liar, Doll. Give me the phone."

"Eddie, you don't…"

"I can pretty much guess what's on that phone, and I know what you're doing, but I'll be okay, Bella. I'm going to fix this shit. I'll be fucking damned if they're going to start harassing and blaming you for what happened last night," he bit out, not directly at me, but enough to get the fucking point across.

As I handed him my phone, he dropped down beside me on the mattress, pulling me against his side.

I watched as he read through the texts, and just as I knew it would, I could see their words beginning to fuck with him. He was holding back tears—that much was obvious—but the strongest emotion evident when looking at him was rage…resentment.

"You've been dealing with this shit since last night and you're just now showing me?" he rasped as he looked over at me.

"I didn't want to make things harder for you, Edward. I was going to tell you after things died down a bit."

"Bella, I don't give a fuck. They have no business doing this shit to you. They can do whatever the fuck they want to me because honestly, it can't get any worse, but fucking with you is going too goddamn far."

"What are you going to do?" I asked, not sure I wanted to hear what he had planned.

I was genuinely curious though as there wasn't much we could do. As it was, we were basically stuck in this hotel room until Charlie and the DEA gave us the go ahead to get the fuck out of dodge.

"I'm going to text Emmett back and have him get everyone together, then I'll call and put an end to this shit."

"Are you sure you want to do this now?"

"Doll, I'm not going to sit back and let them continue blowing up your phone."

He was becoming increasingly agitated, and I couldn't blame him. I also wasn't going to stop him as confronting his family and cutting ties was long overdue. However, I also wanted him to do so with a clear head, or as clear as he could get it anyway.

"Okay, okay, I understand that, baby, but do you think we could eat breakfast at least before you do that? That way you have time to think about what you want to say."

With a grin, he looked down at me and squeezed me closer. "You're so fucking cute when you're worried about me," he murmured, resulting in me pinching his side to which he yelped. "But I'm pretty sure I know exactly what I'm going to say, and to make you happy, I'm fucking starving."

I narrowed my eyes at him, as the last time he'd said he was hungry, I became his fucking feast.

"For food, Doll…for food," he laughed throatily. "Go ahead and call Charlie. I'm just going to clean up a bit in the bathroom."

"Of your own free will?" I guffawed as he stood and scowled at me.

"Ha fucking ha," he grumbled.

I had to admit, it felt fucking great to see him smiling and somewhat acting like himself even with how shitty he felt. It gave me hope that everything just might turn out all right.

Watching the bathroom door shut behind him, I picked up my phone from where he'd laid it out on the bed, and called Charlie.

"Damn, Bells. Up already? It's only seven. Are you feeling okay?"

"Quit bitchin', Dad. Yes, we're up and were calling to invite you over for breakfast."

"Hey, chill out. I was jacking with you. I'm just shocked you two didn't sleep in. Have you guys already ordered food?"

"Not yet. Why?"

"Well, I was thin king that maybe I could treat ya'll to breakfast at Denny's or something. One of the DEA agents would be tagging along."

"I'm sure that would be fine as we're both getting a little stir crazy, but seriously, Dad? Denny's? Edward's already feeling awful, and adding the roaring shits to that would just be cruel. Isn't there an IHOP or Jimmy's Egg, or something like that around here?"

"Bells, do the words 'too much information' mean anything to you?"

"Oh grow up, old man. Denny's gives the roaring shits to everybody, so just thank me for saving your ass—literally—and move on to finding another restaurant."

"I'll call the agent and see what he comes up with. Talk to you in a second," he gruffly replied, the phone going silent as Edward came walking out of the bathroom with an unamused look upon his face.

"The roaring shits, Doll? Really?"

"Oh my God! What's the fucking problem? You want Denny's?" I screeched as he laughed and came closer.

"No, but you couldn't come up with anything a little less…disgusting?"

"You don't shower for days and don't wash clothes for months, yet me talking about the roaring shits is what disgusts you?" I asked with an arched brow.

"Touche," he chuckled, pulling me to him for a soft kiss.

***~C&B~***

Nearly an hour later, Charlie, Edward, and me were gathered around a table in IHOP with the DEA, guzzling coffee like nobody's business.

The penetrating stare the man had was starting to piss me off and I knew it was making Edward uneasy. I didn't know whether it was simply in the guy's nature, or what but I didn't fucking like it.

"Agent Barnes, is there a reason you're eyeballing Edward?"

"Isabella!" Charlie barked as Edward turned to me, eyes wide and jaw dropped.

"What? Since we've gotten here, he's hardly said two words and I'm not going to sit here and watch him eyeball…"

"Ms. Swan, I apologize for having apparently upset you, but I assure you, everything is fine."

"Then what's the plan because honestly, I'm getting sick of being cooped up in a damn hotel room."

I felt Edward squeeze my hand as he leaned over. "I fucking love how you take up for me, but right now, that big beautiful mouth of yours isn't helping our case, Doll," he murmured, finishing with a kiss to my temple.

I looked over at Charlie who was now glaring at me. When I grinned unsuredly back at him, he actually started laughing.

"I'm sorry, Barnes. She's my daughter through and through so you'll have to excuse her mouth…she doesn't know any better."

I heard Edward snort beside me, to which I whipped around to find him looking everywhere but at me.

Charlie had just, in so many words, said the same fucking thing that Edward had.

Fuck 'em.

"All right, from what I've been told, Cullen, you work for Aro Volturi. Is that right?"

"Yes."

"Can you give me the rundown of exactly what he's had you doing during your time with him, and explain to me what happened the last time you spoke?"

This time, it was my turn to squeeze his hand, and when he squeezed back, I knew he was going to be okay.

"Edward, son, before you start, just know that none of this will be held against you, okay? This is strictly so that they can better figure out what needs to be done before you two come back."

"Wait…come back? We're still going to Louisiana?" Edward questioned.

"Yes, son. Just until you get yourself right again because you'll be no use to the DEA as long as you're craving a fix. They'll need you with a clear head and at max strength."

"Of use?"

Charlie sighed and that was _never _a good sign. "You and Bells will be put undercover for the takedown."

"Over my dead fucking body," Edward growled.

**Oh boy, Edward is NOT going to take this well!**

**Things are starting to pick up ;D**

**Next chapter, we're off to Louisiana...**

**Leave some love!**


	33. Chapter 32

**First, let me apologize for the shortness of this chapter. **

**This is only half of chapter 32. The rest WILL post tomorrow.**

**I felt horrible about making you guys wait so long, so I decided to give you some tonight ;D**

**I hope you enjoy!**

_Charlie sighed and that was never a good sign. "You and Bells will be put undercover for the takedown."_

"_Over my dead fucking body," Edward growled._

**EPOV**

"Son, I don't like it any more than you—probably even less—but you need to hear Agent Barnea out. When you listen to their plan, it'll make…"

"With all due respect, Charlie, I don't give a flying fuck what the DEA's so-called plan is; you've all got me fucking twisted if you think for one second that I'm going to put Bella in that position," I barked, standing from my chair with so much force that it fell back to the floor behind me.

Almost instantly, Bella was between me and the table, her hands against my chest, easing me back a little. I could feel her eyes burning into me as she spoke comforting words, trying to talk me down.

I couldn't bring myself to look at her because I knew that if I did, I'd fucking cave.

"And what do you think will happen if you go it alone, Cullen?" Barnes spoke up with a calm voice. "They're expecting you to bring them Swan. You know as well as I do that if you walk in there without her, you're as good as fucking dead."

If it meant keeping Bella safe, then so be it.

"Why the fuck do you need us to do your dirty work for you? I can give you all the damn information you need to take them all out," I hissed, ignoring Bella's pleas for me to stop.

"Because they're planning to take down Laurent Plaxton and Aro at the same goddamn time, Edward," Charlie bellowed, standing and giving me a look that I knew not to fucking question.

He wasn't fucking around, and not only that. His mustache was twitching.

Bella had warned me about that shit.

He was pissed.

"You think I _want _to put her back in that bastard's line of fire? Do you think I want to send _you _back, knowing they want you dead? Hell no, and believe me, I fought just like you are now when they first told me. They've got a good fucking plan set up, Edward, and even though it still makes me sick, it's a plan that I can at least get on board with. So chill the fuck out, sit down and listen, dammit."

"Dad, Agent Barnes," Bella began firmly, "give me a minute to talk to him, okay?"

Without giving me a chance to protest, she laced her hand in mine and jerked me behind her and out of the restaurant.

I immediately went for my pack of cigs in my pocket.

"You're not fucking changing my mind, Doll. There's no way in fucking hell that I'm going to willingly serve you up to Aro on a silver fucking platter."

"But yet, you'll risk getting yourself killed?!" she exclaimed. "No! Fuck that, Edward. If I don't go, you don't go. There's no way any of you are going to get me to agree to you walking into a fucking setup and not coming back out alive," she exclaimed emotionally, tremor in her voice and tears brimming her eyes. "I can't, and I _won't_."

"Doll," I started, reaching out to touch her arm but wincing when she pulled away.

"Don't. Don't stand there and act like I don't know what I'll be getting myself into. Edward, I dealt with guys like them for just as long you, and you know what? I think that if you and I put our heads together, we can make it out of there alive, especially with the fucking DEA on our side. If I do as you fucking want and stay behind, and then something happens to you, I'll never…"

As much as I didn't want to walk back in that damn restaurant, after everything Bella and Charlie had done for me, I at least owed it to them to listen to the DEA's grand plan. Still didn't mean I'd fucking agree.

This time, when I reached for her, I didn't let her pull away. I wrapped my arms tightly around her and pulled her against me, burying my face in her hair, my mouth near her ear.

"I'll listen, but I'm not fucking promising anything, Doll. I don't want you anywhere near Aro and Laurent; they're ruthless, and to lose you to something that was of my own fucking fault…I just…I love you too fucking much, Bella."

I didn't wait for her to respond. I waited until she looked up at me before I pressed my lips roughly against hers for a brief, but meaningful kiss.

"I love you too, Eddie," she whispered, wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling me in for a hug.

A hug that communicated every emotion, and one that broke my fucking heart.

Never did I think that they would actually consider putting me and Bella undercover and back into that fucking world.

But regardless of what was running through my mind, or the way she shook against me, I could have stood here in this spot and held her all damn day. Just having her in my arms and knowing that she fucking loved me—me, the once worthless junkie—was the best fucking feeling I'd ever known.

Next to being inside her.

And it was with that thought that I gently pulled her arms from around my neck and gently pressed a kiss to her forehead then lips. She barely grinned at all as I took her hand in mine.

"Hey, I'm sorry, okay? I know I'm being an ass right now, but I trust Charlie. If we have him voicing opinions and working this shit with the DEA, we have a good chance of making it out. I just don't like the idea of you…" I stopped, sighing aloud. "Let's just go in, hear what the prick has to say, and then I'll take you upstairs," I flirted, grinning and trying to make her perk up, "and relieve some of this fucking tension."

"Seriously, Eddie?" she questioned with a raised brow. "Why didn't you just take me in the fucking bathroom and have me against the wall?"

"Dually noted for the next time," I ground out, wrapping my arm around her shoulders and walking with her back inside, her hand on my fucking ass.

She was such a damn minx.

I could feel Barnes eyes on me the second we walked into the dining room.

And I knew Bella could feel my unease because she took my hand and gently squeezed it.

"You good now, son?" Charlie asked gruffly. He was doing a piss poor job of hiding his own emotional stress with the situation, which in turn, made me feel like an inconsiderate bastard, but I guess my coming back and ready to listen counted for something.

Or at least I hope it did.

"Can I speak now, Cullen, or are you going to go fucking nuts on us again?" Barnes questioned lowly.

I refused to look at him because if I did, he'd see exactly what I really thought of him.

So instead, I folded my hands in my lap, Bella's entwined with mine, and nodded my head at him.

"What was that?" he asked again.

"He's fine, dammit. Just tell us the damned plan already and quit goading him," Bella snapped, causing me to stifle a snicker.

"You and Bella won't be put into action until the last stages. We fully intend to send you both back to Louisiana with the Chief so that you remain safe in the meantime. The DEA in New Orleans has already secured a safe house for the two of you that will be a reasonable distance from the Chief. While you're away, we'll be gathering all the information we can against both Aro and Laurent. Anything that you two can provide would be key to how all of this goes down," he explained.

"Wait," Bella interrupted. "If you're going to be gathering information, I assume that you'll be planting narcs undercover. And if that's the case, why the fuck do you need us there in the physical sense?"

"Because, their main objective right now appears to be capturing and trading you off, Ms. Swan. You're our way in; you're what is going to make taking them both down simultaneously possible."

"And just what sort of protection will you be offering Edward and I? I can tell you right now, if you expect us to go in without protection, without people covering our backs, the deal is off. I refuse to let you guys throw us to the fucking wolves."

"Bells, it's the DEA. They aren't going to put you in without protection. If they did, I never would have gone along with the plan. You _know _that, dammit."

"How long?" I spoke up, my voice rough and quiet.

"How long what, Cullen?"

"How long will Bella and I be in Louisiana? How much time are you thinking it will take to gather your information?"

"I'm guessing no more than a month. Maybe two. The determining factor on when this goes down will be dependent on how soon you get clean."

That got my fucking attention.

They expected me to get clean _before _going undercover.

I know Charlie had mentioned it before, but I didn't think he was serious.

I'd never been to the fucking warehouse without having had a fix, or actually getting one while there.

The guys and Aro would fucking know something was up if I all of sudden showed up clean and sober.

And Bella…

Jesus, if it was fucking put in front of her and they forced her to do it, I'd never fucking forgive myself.

This would be so much more than just putting her life at risk.

It would be putting everything that she'd worked so goddamned hard to get back in jeopardy.

"Edward, I know what you're thinking," Bella said firmly into my ear. "Stop it."

"Can we just think all of this over and give you an answer once we're in Louisiana? I think we need some time to process. It's been a really shitty couple of days for me, so you'll have to excuse my sour fucking mood."

Then Barnes did something I never fucking saw coming.

He reached out and placed his hand on my shoulder.

"I know, and I'm sorry. The Chief filled me in. I want you to know that Carlisle Cullen _will _be taken care of. The DA has already charged him, and the judge is announcing his sentencing tomorrow. He made a deal in exchange for information on Aro's operation."

"What about Alice?" Bella spoke up, venom in her tone.

"Last I heard, they still hadn't found her."

"Haven't found her?" I questioned, totally fucking confused. "What? She's missing?"

"No. She's on the run. Apparently, she and her fiancée parted ways early this morning and she hasn't been seen or heard from since."

**So, we're starting to get answers on what happened with Jasper and Alice. More will be explained tomorrow.**

**Again, sorry for splitting it, but I wanted to at least give you girls SOMETHING!**

**Leave some love!**

**T**


	34. Chapter 32 pt2

**You asked for it, and now you've got it ;D**

**See you ladies at the bottom!**

"_What about Alice?" Bella spoke up, venom in her tone._

"_Last I heard, they still hadn't found her."_

"_Haven't found her?" I questioned, totally fucking confused. "What? She's missing?"_

"_No. She's on the run. Apparently, she and her fiancée parted ways early this morning and she hasn't been seen or heard from since."_

**BPOV**

"She and Jasper split up?" I asked, needing confirmation that that was what he really had just said.

"According to Mr. Whitlock they have. However, as I mentioned before, no one's heard from her."

"Bullshit. She's been texting Bella since last night," Edward grumbled, taking a drink of his water.

Regardless of how him putting me on the spot just now perturbed the shit out of me, I found myself distracted by him swallowing, the action leaving his adam's apple to bob against the scruff covered skin of his throat.

That led to the memory of that scruff between my thighs and…

Fuck, we really shouldn't have gotten flirty outside.

For Christ's sake, my fucking _Dad _was at the table.

"Doll!" Edward's voice rung out loudly, startling me out of my daze.

I looked at him as he gave me that crooked smile knowingly. I could also feel my Dad and Agent Barnes' eyes on me as well.

"What?" I questioned.

"What has she said in these texts that you've received? Do you mind if I look at them?" Barnes inquired, just as Edward's hand came to rest upon my thigh beneath the table, covered by the tablecloth.

Unable to speak for fear of letting them on to what we were up to, I hurriedly bent over and pulled my phone from my purse, handing it over to Barnes.

"What's the code, Ms. Swan? It's locked."

"Oh, sorry. It's seventy-nine-twelve. I'll be right back, Dad," I spoke out before rising from the table.

He looked back at me with a furrowed brow. "Where are you going?"

"I need to go to the bathroom," I told him softly, knowing he was just worried.

I also knew that by mentioning my escaping to the bathroom, I was teasing Edward.

I could practically feel his body vibrating from where I stood.

With a wink in his direction, I turned and headed into the bathroom. And I hadn't lied about needing it either. I really did need to go.

The DEA's plan was fucking weak, and I could tell that both Charlie and Barnes thought the same. I only hoped that they gave it some serious fucking thought and tweaking before they brought us in and put it to action.

Was I afraid? Hell yes; I'd be a damned fool not to be. I'd seen the hold Aro had over Edward, and been told how ruthless the asshole was, and to combine that with Laurent Plaxton—the reason I left Louisiana to begin with—was horrifying.

Just the thought of going undercover and being handed over to the man who'd wanted me dead just months ago made my stomach turn. And for the DEA to expect Edward to be the one to hand me over was beyond fucked up and insensitive. In all honesty, sober or not, I don't think Edward would ever do it. They'd be on to him in a heartbeat.

How?

Because I'd made him fucking care about me. I'd given him a damn weakness and made him vulnerable.

I didn't regret any of it, but it was the fucking truth.

As I opened the bathroom stall door, I wiped at my eyes which had watered, and made my way to the sink to wash my hands.

The sound of a lock clicking into place caused me to whip my around, and then smile darkly at my body's reaction.

Against the door of the bathroom, stood Edward looking gloriously fuck hot, and staring at me with darkened, hooded eyes.

"You realize Charlie is going to come looking for us," I hummed as he shook his head and pushed off the door, coming toward me.

"No, Doll, he won't. He's too busy inhaling my pack of cigs out on the patio," he whispered, bracing his arms on either side of me and grinding his already hard as steel cock against my ass.

"And Barnes?" I breathed hotly, pushing back against him and raising a hand behind me to tangle in his hair.

"Apparently," he rasped, brushing my hair over my shoulder and placing an open mouthed kiss against my neck, "you led him to believe that you were upset, and the fucking sucker sent me to check on you," he murmured, smiling against my cheek.

His hips still relentlessly ground against me, growing with intensity the longer it went on.

With a rough tug on his hair, he finally molded his lips to mine, his tongue seeking mine out hungrily.

I quickly turned in his arms, and needing a breath, I broke the kiss, panting against his pouty lips.

"Edward, I fucking love you, but if you don't fuck me—and do it _now—_I'm going to combust," I hissed, snaking my arm around his waist and under his shirt, raking my nails against the skin of his back.

"_Fuck!_" he growled, suckling at my bottom lip and then moving to bite my neck.

Before I could even respond, his arms had jerked my body against him with force, whirling us around until my back slammed against the stone tile of the bathroom walls.

This wasn't like any other time we'd been together.

From the second my back hit that tile, it had turned into a frenzied race of hands pulling at clothes and teeth clashing roughly against each other.

His cock was freed from his jeans within minutes and buried to the hilt inside me before I had even realized he'd removed my pants.

Obviously, his fucking mouth and hands had rendered me fucking stupid.

I started to scream out into the bathroom when Edward swallowed them with a fierce kiss, his hands gripping my hips and ass damn near painfully.

There was no doubt. I'd have marks later.

With my shirt riding up my back from the force of his thrusts rocking me against the wall, he hooked one leg over the crook of his arm, lifting me off the floor just a bit.

And effectively changing the angle to where he hit that spot every…damn…time.

With his lips and touch moving against my neck with nips and hot fucking kisses, I felt the stirring inside me, telling me that I was on the verge of letting go.

I fisted both hands into his hair, arching my back and crushing his head to my chest.

The sound of his husky, lust-filled chuckle sent chills up my spine as he then bent his body in a way that allowed his fingers to surround his beautiful cock as he impaled me over and over again.

"Harder," I whimpered, opening my eyes to stare blazingly into his own, communicating just how badly I fucking wanted him.

His chest rumbled as he began to piston his hips at a vicious pace, his hand leaving his cock and curving around to my ass, where his finger, very gently, began to rub circles against my other entrance.

I'd never had _anyone_ touch me as he was doing, and actually fucking enjoyed it.

My inner walls began spasming around his swollen dick as I threw my arms around his neck tightly, thrusting my tongue into his mouth just as the glorious 'O' crashed over me.

Edward didn't stop moving as I rode out the waves; in fact, he'd gotten faster, more erratic and even more intense.

His hand flew to my swollen, over sensitive nub, sending me into a second, earth shattering orgasm just as he yelled my name against my shoulder and biting down as his seed filled me with such force, I _felt _it.

Our heavy breathing filled the space of the bathroom as we came down from what had to be the single most exciting and intense sexual experience I'd ever fucking had.

Edward's head eventually came back up as he softly joined our lips once again, brushing our noses together, and ending with his forehead against mine.

"Was that all you hoped for, Doll?" he asked breathlessly with a brilliant, yet lazy grin.

"Fuck yes, and if we don't get out of here and back to the table, we'll be forced to explain our actions to Chief Non-Smoker."

"I honestly don't give a fuck, beautiful. What I _do _care about is regaining movement in my legs and relieving the Charlie horse that's just taken up residency in my right ass cheek…"

"Oh no," I laughed, putting my feet back on the floor and helping him to move to the counter.

"Mother fucker! Doll, massage it or something," he hissed, his eyes tearing up.

***~C&B~***

Upon making our way back to the table, after we'd done all we could to right our clothing, we were met with two sets of eyes looking at us suspiciously.

Almost like they fucking knew what we'd been up to.

"Everything okay, Bells? We were beginning to think that the two of you had bailed on us and gone back to your rooms," Charlie questioned with his brow raised, his hand fiddling with the end of his mustache.

"As tempting as that thought is, no. After all, Barnes has my phone. I was just having some kind of panic attack. Did you leave Edward any smokes?"

He darted his eyes over to Edward, who was giving me the evil eye. "Thanks for having my back, shithead," Charlie mumbled.

"So," I started, clearing my throat before continuing, "did you happen to find anything else out on Alice?"

"Nothing I'm afraid. I'll continue to work on it when I get back to headquarters. I know that talking to any of the Cullens involved is likely not something either of you want to do, but maybe at least getting a hold of Mr. Whitlock would help. When we spoke with him this morning, he expressed concern in regards to how the both of you were holding up."

Edward frowned and looked down to his lap, his feelings on the subject blatantly obvious.

"Agent Barnes, I appreciate you coming to meet with us and at least explain what you intend to do about the clusterfuck of a mess we're in, but quite frankly, I don't like this so-called plan you've come up with. You're suggesting that Edward go in undercover…sober. I don't know exactly what it is that you think you know about these guys, but if you think that they won't pick up on the fact that Edward's clean, I can't help but worry about just how safe we'll be."

"Dammit, Bells," Charlie groaned, rubbing his palms over his face.

"What?!" I exclaimed. "I'm not going to hold my fears in. They make fucking sense, Dad. You can't tell me that they don't! I won't have Edward go through the hell of getting clean only to be forced into relapsing again at the hands of the fucking DEA."

"You can't just talk to…" he started to chastise when Barnes cut him off.

"No, no…she's right, Chief. I realize there are flaws in our plan, Ms. Swan, and you bring up good points. That's why we're running it by you first. Believe me, getting you and Cullen out of there safely is our top priority and we'll do whatever is necessary to see that that happens. We cannot, however, put trust in a man that's high on large doses of pain killers, to bring down two of the biggest drug dealers Louisiana and Washington have ever seen. We will continue to work on the kinks, and we'll keep in touch so that you are both clear on all of the details. Know that we will not force you to do anything you aren't comfortable with, but in saying that, the help and advantage you two can provide will be what makes this operation a success."

I started to respond when Edward nudged my leg with his knee rather roughly, his jaw twitching.

"Thank you for coming down to explain things to us," he spoke quietly, looking away.

Charlie then stood and shook hands with Barnes before he extended his hand to me.

I grudgingly shook it, not really putting any trust whatsoever in this man who claimed to know how to get us out of this mess. If anything, it almost seemed like what he had planned would only make things worse.

Once he left, Charlie fixed both of us with a stern look.

"I don't know who the hell you think you two are fooling, but I'm not buying your so-called panic attack, Bells. Next time you two decide to go for a romp, make sure you don't leave marks in visible places that were otherwise _unmarked_ beforehand. Bells, your damn pants are on backwards, and Edward, that goofy fucking grin you walked in here with gave you away. Don't put me in the position to call you out on this shit again, please. For God sake, Bells, you may be an adult, but I don't want to _know_ about it…we clear?"

Oh my God!

I couldn't hold the laughter in.

Edward sat beside me, the fear of God in his fucking eyes as Charlie harrumphed and walked out of the dining room.

I was just about to rib Edward about his grin when my phone began moving across the table with vibration.

When I picked it up, the smile left my face as Jssper's name was illuminated on my screen.

I nudged Edward with my elbow, showing him the phone.

Without a word to me, anger took over his features as took my phone and answered.

"What the fuck do you want, Jasper?"

**Next chapter, the conversation between Edward and Jasper.**

***bites nails***

**It's sure to be intense.**

**Thanks for all the reviews and I promise to answer as soon as I get the chance!**

**Leave some love!**

T


	35. Chapter 33

**I've kept you all waiting long enough!**

**See you at the bottom!**

_I was just about to rib Edward about his grin when my phone began moving across the table with vibration._

_When I picked it up, the smile left my face as Jssper's name was illuminated on my screen._

_I nudged Edward with my elbow, showing him the phone._

_Without a word to me, anger took over his features as he took my phone and answered._

"_What the fuck do you want, Jasper?"_

**EPOV**

"Wow, I wasn't expecting you to answer the phone," he laughed with unease in his voice.

"Oh, were you hoping to harass Bella some more? Give her shit for something all of you brought on your fucking selves?"

"Now hold on a goddamn minute. Something we brought on _ourselves_? Right, like you had no fucking hand in the shit that went wrong with your family. And don't you dare fucking try to put this shit on me, man. I only just recently found out the truth about everything, same as you," Jasper hissed.

"And yet you still can't bring yourself to admit that you were wrong," I scoffed. "How does it fucking feel, Jasper, to know that your beloved fiancée, was a cokehead, hooked on worse shit than I've ever done, and in the process, fucked my _real _father on a regular basis just to get a fix? How does it feel to know that you turned your fucking back on me, someone who would've done anything for your ass, for something the almighty Carlisle did?" I spat as Bella came up beside me, locking her arms tightly around my waist as I willed my building tears away.

"Turned my back on you? Emmett and I helped you for fucking months, Edward! How many times did I bail your ass of jail in the middle of the night? How many times did I loan you money without fucking asking what it was for? It never crossed your mind to tell me the truth about shit? To tell me what the fuck really happened between you, Carlisle and K…"

"Don't you dare fucking say that bitch's name," I warned in a low tone. "What good would that have done me? You already had your fucking mind made up. You were so pussy-whipped by the bitch I actually believed was my sister, and in so deep with the family, that you'd have run and told them and they'd have just brainwashed you, same as you are now."

"Well if not me, why not Esme? Why not Emmett for Christ's sake?! You're blaming everyone but your fucking self for what happened to you!"

"You know what? All the texts that you sent Bella, saying you were wrong, that you wanted to make things right, it was all fucking bullshit. You still won't say it out loud. You can go to fucking hell for all I care. I have no use for people like you in my life. And since I know that the rest of the bitches and assholes are there with you, you can tell them to fuck off as well. I don't give a fuck if you all suddenly grew hearts or a damn conscience; I'm done with all of you. Oh, and leave Bella the fuck alone," I said with a strong voice, surprising myself as I felt anything _but_ at the moment.

"You're not even going to try and fix things with us, are you?" he questioned with attitude.

"Fuck no," I scoffed, about to hang up, but then thought of something. "You know, for someone whose fiancée is missing, you sure as hell don't seem all that upset or worried. And knowing that she's probably out for revenge, you haven't even checked to see if I'd heard from her, which I haven't, but still. Odd, don't you think?"

"What the hell are you getting at?" he sneered as Bella squeezed me a little tighter.

"Oh, I think you know," I answered before ending the call, dropping the phone and falling to my knees there in the dining room.

I could feel the eyes of the other customers on me, but I didn't have it in me to fucking care at the moment.

Bella sank to her knees beside me, pulling me into her arms as she ran a hand through my hair.

I put my arms around her, fisting my hands in her shirt.

My throat ached and throbbed as I struggled to hold back from completely losing it in front of the entire fucking restaurant, causing a huge lump to form.

"Edward, baby…"

"I—I need to get out of here, Doll," I whispered brokenly.

I felt her lips against my temple as she helped me to my feet, ushered me out of the dining room and into the elevator down the hall.

Even once we made it back to our room, her arms remained around me tightly.

We managed to shuffle ourselves over to the bed, where I pushed her to fall onto her back, making it easy to assume my favorite position; burying my face in her chest and molding my body to her side.

I was starting to flip the fuck out in my head, and the craving for a fucking fix had never been stronger.

I just wanted everything to stop.

The pain, the heartache, the fucking betrayal, and the feeling of utter worthlessness. I was a fucking nobody.

I could feel my hands fisting in her shirt, my nails raking her skin roughly as I did so.

And instead of telling me to stop, Bella just held me tighter.

She remained silent for a good while, letting me get the emotions out, but I knew she was worried. I knew she was concerned about my well-being, and I wanted desperately to be better for her. To be the kind of man my amazing girl deserved, but I just didn't feel I was there yet.

I was too fucking damaged. I had a ton of baggage—and while I knew she did too—it just wasn't fair for me to expect her to take mine on as well.

Was I going to leave her?

Fuck no. I'd come to that realization last night after we'd said the words. After I'd watched her sleep during the night.

For some odd, fucked up reason, she loved me. I was done questioning it, because I loved her too.

The problem laid in me getting my shit together and my head straightened out.

And that was why I was so…

"Eddie?" she murmured softly, lightly running nails over the back of my shirt, and the other through my hair as my body hiccupped against hers from the sobbing I'd done. "I…will you please talk to me?"

This wasn't fucking right, and it pulled at my heart.

She was afraid to ask me. I could hear it in her damn voice, and that shit bothered the fuck out of me.

"I just…I don't know if I can do this, Bella. I really don't."

"Do what?"

"It's too much. I love you so goddamn much, and I want to be the man you need and deserve, but I want a fucking fix more than I ever fucking have. Just to make it stop."

"Baby, I love you too, but I don't want you to be putting yourself through all of this just for me," she whispered, sitting up and taking my face in her hands. "It _can't_ be for me. You need to be doing this for yourself, and if you're not to that point yet, then getting clean will be for nothing. You'll eventually relapse, and let me tell you something: when you relapse, its normally twice as intense as before you decided to get clean. I won't stop you from getting a fix, if that's what you feel you need, but you have to figure out if that's what you really want because once you backpedal and cave, that's it. There's no going back."

I felt the stinging in my eyes once more as another knot formed in my throat. "How is it that you…you can care so much about me, and yet, the ones that were supposed to be my fucking family could turn on me so fucking quickly?" I asked, my voice raw with pain. "Why would they do this to me, Doll? What did I ever do to deserve all that they've done?"

Her eyes mirrored my own pain as she released my face and pulled me into her arms, letting me lay my head on her shoulder.

She didn't need to say anything more. I knew deep inside that what she would have said would have been the truth.

Which was that I'd done nothing.

But what she'd said before about the relapsing and me doing it for myself versus for her, it all made perfect sense.

And I fucking wanted to change.

Not only for her, but for me too.

Though it had been such a prominent a part of my life for so long, it wasn't me.

This junkie lifestyle funded by a life of crime and controlled by a power hungry, local drug lord wasn't what I had wanted or envisioned for myself.

Bella had just reminded me of that by bringing the real me back out. Making me feel again, trust again.

And I knew what stage of detox I was at now without even having to ask her.

With the drugs not blocking anything out anymore, I was left to feel everything that I'd avoided. Everything that had been the soul reason for my having started the fucking pills in the first place.

I was completely vulnerable.

How the fuck Bella had done this, especially with hers having been worse, I had no fucking idea.

Hell, maybe that was part of the reason I was fighting so hard against the cravings. Against the need to get another pill.

Because I didn't want to go through this shit again.

A knock at the door pulled me from my thoughts as I lifted my head to look at Bella. She winked at me and pressed a kiss to my lips. I desperately wanted more, but she was standing and heading for the door before I could even do shit about it.

"Why don't you go outside for a smoke, baby. Get yourself together and clear your head. It's most likely Charlie."

I nodded at her, rising from the mattress and feeling my muscles and joints scream at me in protest. "Hey Doll, where is the Clonodine?"

"Oh, it's in your bedside table. Charlie and I will be out there with you in a second."

I turned from her, took a bottle of water from the mini-fridge, grabbed pill bottle and headed out onto the balcony just as I heard Charlie's voice as Bella let him in.

I really fucking hoped he wasn't coming bearing even more fucking bad news. That seemed to be all I'd heard the past few days.

**BPOV**

I knew Charlie would see to it that Carlisle was given the worst sentence possible; that I wasn't worried about.

What _did _upset me was the fact that Alice's bitch ass was running and no one could fucking find her.

I had a suspicion as to where she might be, but Edward would have been the only one able to tell me where to go, and I knew that there was no way in fucking hell he'd let me go.

Charlie either.

Seeing Edward fall to his knees in the dining room killed me, and having him fall apart the past thirty or forty minutes completely broke my heart. I didn't want to anymore hurt to come to him, but every time I felt like things were going to start getting better, they got worse.

And quite honestly, I didn't fucking blame him for needing or craving a fix right now.

With all the shit he'd endured, and all he was _still _going through, I honestly didn't know how he'd made it this far without giving in.

Lord knows, I would have.

I never would have been able to get clean had I been in the predicament he was in now.

As I watched him smoking out on the balcony, I found myself counting the minutes until I had him in Louisiana and away from this shithole.

He needed to work through all of this, and he couldn't do that with all the drama still surrounding him.

"I don't think I've ever seen you more lost to a boy in my life, Bells," Charlie laughed gruffly beside me, as we sat at the table.

"That obvious, huh?" I answered with a knowing smile, or at least as much of one as I could muster.

"When you first decided to pick up shop and move back out here, Bells, I was scared to death. You were still in a bad place emotionally, and letting you go, not knowing what was going to happen…shit, I pray you never do that again. I didn't know who you were going to get caught up with, whether you were going to attend meetings or not, which I know you haven't been, by the way."

Shit.

This was not the turn I wanted our conversation to take.

"Dad, it's not that big of a deal. I've been…"

"I know you've been preoccupied, and believe me, despite the baggage he's got, I'm glad you have Edward, but Bells, you need those damn meetings and you know it. I don't mean to pressure you, but when we get home, he's not the only one in need of counseling."

"I'm fine with counseling, but Dad, I don't need the fucking meetings," I ground out.

"What meetings?" Edward asked, his voice startling me.

I gave Charlie a look and with a shameful look at Edward, I walked out and onto the balcony.

It wasn't because I was being petulant or because he had caught me, or hell, it wasn't even that I didn't want Edward to know.

I just needed to get the hell out of that room before I lost it. I needed a minute to breathe.

And I was just about to go back in and ask Edward for a cigarette when I noticed that he'd left them on the small table of the balcony.

He never walked away without putting them back in his pocket so I had to assume that he noticed the tension between Charlie and I through the glass doors.

As I lit one up, I let Charlie's words mull over in my head. I knew he was right, as much as I hated to admit it. And I wasn't blaming Edward at all as none of this shit was his fault, but what Charlie had said about my being preoccupied was right on target.

I could feel my heart in my throat, and my mind wanting to turn and lose itself in memories that I longed to forget about. This was the last fucking thing either of us needed right now, too…for me to have a setback.

Taking a long inhale, the nicotine burning in my lungs, Edward's arms came around my shoulders, holding me tight as he buried his face in my neck.

"Why didn't you tell me, Doll?" he asked on a saddened whisper.

"I had everything under control, and I didn't want you to worry, like you're doing now."

"All that time you spent worrying about me, caring for me, fucking _defending _me, and not once did it ever occur to me that you most likely had an AA program to keep up with. Why didn't you ever ask me to come with you?"

I snorted and turned around to look at him. "Would you have come? Edward, you had your own addiction to deal with."

"Be that as it may, Bella, I knew that your drinking, especially in the amounts we consumed, wasn't good for you. Not with you having just gotten out of rehab months ago. After all you've done for me, if you had asked me to go with you, I'd have gone, no questions asked."

"I know he's worried, and I know he thinks I'll turn to the liquor in place of the heroin, but that's not what I'm doing, and it's not the fucking time for him to be starting this shit," I grumbled, taking another pull from my cigarette before offering it up to Edward.

Once he exhaled, he flicked the butt over the railing and pulled me closer, placing a kiss to the tip of my nose. "I really hope you won't take this as an invitation to nail me in the balls, but Doll, your drinking has been heavy. More than a normal person's anyway. I'm no fucking expert, but it's not completely unbelievable to say you're replacing the heroin with the alcohol to mask your own hurt and pain. I understand it, Bella. But instead of you always doing what's right by me and helping me, why don't you take a shot at letting me do the same for you?"

"Edward, baby, you've already got enough on your plate. You don't need my shit too. I can handl…"

"Goddammit, Isabella, stop being so fucking stubborn. Quit trying to be so damn strong all the time; I warned you about that shit once. So I've got a lot on my plate, big fucking deal. So do you, but Doll, you don't have to do this shit alone. Neither do I. When we get to Louisiana, I'll do the rehab, but I want you to do the counseling and meetings _with _me. We'll do it together."

I hadn't the slightest clue whether Charlie had put him up to this shit while they were inside or not, but Edward's plea slash suggestion was one that I just couldn't refuse.

Out of everything Charlie and I had helped him with, not once had he ever _asked _me for anything.

And I knew that was a result of him feeling like a burden, and like no one owed him anything.

"What about the smoking? That's an addiction too, ya know?" I told him playfully, hoping to lighten up our conversation.

And it worked because his eyebrow arched sexily and he frowned.

"Shit, fuck them. I'll quit the pills, we'll quit the booze, but I fucking dare the cocksuckers to try and take away my fucking nicotine."

"Watch out, you're starting to sound like a chain smoking, rebellious Braveheart over there," I smiled, watching as he laughed.

"Okay, see, I know what you're doing, my beautiful little minx. You might have changed the subject, but I didn't forget. Are you willing to do…"

Ready for the conversation on that topic to end, I hung my head and then looked away. "I'll do them with you, okay? I'll even go back to rehab, just please, can we stop talking about it?"

His knuckle was suddenly under my chin, pulling my head up and then turning me to look him in the eyes.

"Doll, don't do that. You know I'm not trying to come at you. I just…you can talk to me too, okay?"

"I know, Eddie…I know," I whispered as he leaned down for a quick kiss.

"Now," he said, pulling away and hooking an arm around my neck, "Let's go see what the hell Charlie wants because as soon as he leaves, I plan to take you in that fucking bed the right damn way," he growled into my ear.

"Fucking hell, look to make sure no one can overhear before you start saying shit like that," Charlie harrumphed from the balcony doorway, stopping Edward in his tracks and causing me to erupt with laughter.

After all, this time, it wasn't my fuck up.

This was entirely Edward.

**So, things are starting to come to light and move along.**

**RL really hit hard the past few days, otherwise this would have been posted sooner :(**

**Also, thank you all so much for the reviews! I've been trying to keep up with replying, but if I've missed you, please don't take it personally! **

**Please leave some love!**

**T**


	36. Chapter 34

**See you all at the bottom, Ladies!**

**Enjoy!**

**EPOV**

Charlie was going to fucking have it in for me before we ever made it to Louisiana. That's all there was to it.

First, he'd caught me and Bella in a damn lie regarding our quickie in the restaurant bathroom, and now he overhears me telling her exactly what I plan to do to her when he leaves.

Hell, just the look he'd given me before walking back into the room was enough to prevent me from even fucking touching her until he'd gone back to his room.

Hence the reason I sat at the complete opposite side the room from her.

And she wasn't helping my case either. Every damn time he turned his head away from her and spoke to me, she was making faces and gestures at me.

Obscene, dirty, and sexy as all get out, which was why I had my hands clasped in my lap.

But Charlie wasn't stupid either. He'd arched a brow or two at me, his mustache had twitched, and jerking his eyes over his shoulder, he rolled his eyes, letting me know that he knew what she was up to.

Thank God for that.

When his head turned from me, I may have mouthed 'You're dead," though.

"So, Edward, is there anything that you need from your house before we leave?" he asked, clapping his hands over his knees.

"Some clothes and a few other things, but it's not that big of a deal, Charlie. I can get that stuff when we come back."

"Nonsense, son. I know that Bells needs stuff from her place too," he said, waving it off as though it really was nothing. "Tell you what; Why don't I come back for you two in about thirty minutes? We'll take my car and we'll run by there and get the stuff so we're all ready to go tomorrow."

I glanced to Bella, who seemed nervous all of a sudden, which was odd.

"Can you come back in about an hour and a half?" I asked, watching as his brow furrowed in confusion.

"I'm assuming you're going to tell me why, and it had better not have anything to do with what you planned on doing with my daughter," he warned, his voice taking on a rough tone.

Shit.

"No, and I'm so sorry that you overheard that. I just like fucking around with her."

When both his and Bella's eyes doubled in size, I realized the way my words came out and inwardly grimaced.

"Shit, I meant messing around. You know, pulling her leg?" When his face remained the same, I moved on, not wanting to make it any worse. "Anyway, I wanted to get in a shower. My aches and muscle tension have been horrible this morning and I figured that the hot shower in addition to the Clonidine might help."

Charlie's expression instantly softened as Bella gave me a thumbs up behind his back.

What she didn't realize is that I really was going to take a shower.

The things I had planned for her could wait for tonight.

"I understand," he answered, sighing afterward and moving to stand. "Well, I guess I'll see you guys back here in an hour and a half. Call if you're ready before then."

He started to walk out, but then turned and hesitated a moment before turning around and scratching at the back of his neck.

Whatever he had to say made him uncomfortable and if Charlie Swan was uncomfortable, then chances were, Bella and I would be either pissed off, devastated, or humiliated, and none of those were acceptable to me.

"Look, I know it's none of my business and dammit, I don't even want to ask as I don't want to know about this shit to begin with, but given the current situation, I can't help it. Please, for the love of all that's holy, tell me you guys are at least using protection."

I sat there, staring at Bella in complete horror. Had he seriously just asked that fucking question?

My eyes darted to the floor.

There was no way in hell I could face him right now, no matter how tough I thought I was.

Another reason for my panic was that not once out of all the times we made love had I ever wore a condom.

I wanted to say that she'd mentioned she was on the pill at some point, but when all this had started between us, I'd still be higher than a fucking kite on a regular basis, so my memory wasn't exactly reliable.

"Dad!" she exclaimed. "Are you fucking kidding me?! We're adults! I'm not a damn teenager anymore! And you're right; it's _not _your business, but yes, I'm on the pill. Feel better?"

She wasn't lying. I knew that the second she looked at me as she said it.

A breath that I hadn't realized I'd been holding burst from my chest as I brought my palm to my face.

So much for us getting up to anything before or after my shower.

"Now, Bells, I didn't like asking you anymore than you did, but you're still my baby girl, whether you're an adult or not. You always will be. I just…I'm not stupid. I know that you two…well I had to check and make sure we weren't going to have any surprises between now and the time the DEA call you two into action. Hell, I'll just...yeah, I'll see you guys in a bit," he said gruffly before turning and walking out.

As soon as that door shut behind him, I flew to the balcony for a cigarette.

"Thought you wanted a shower, handsome," Bella murmured as she came up behind me.

I had to laugh at that. "Right…that was before he asked…what the _hell_ was I thinking taking you in the bathroom like that? He looks at me like he wants my damn head now, Doll."

"Baby, he's just being Charlie; don't worry about it. I can promise you that he was more uncomfortable than both of us put together when he went _there._ And I saw the skepticism on your face when it was brought up. I guess you don't remember me mentioning it, but so you'll know that I'm not trying to pull one over on you, here," she told me softly, handing me a pink plastic case.

I knew what it was without opening it. And I hated that she felt she had to show me.

Without breaking eye contact with her, I set it down on the table beside us and took her face in my hands.

"Why are you showing me this? You think I don't believe you?"

"I just know that you've been taken advantage of and lied to immensely in the past, and…"

"Stop," I told her firmly. "Don't put yourself in the same category of those pieces of shit, Bella. _Ever._ I love you, and I trust you _completely_, okay? You don't have to prove anything to me. So, take that," I started, pointing to the plastic pill holder on the table, "and put it up. I don't even want to hear about it again unless we decide…"

I was silenced by her fingers against my lips, her eyes wide. "Do _not _finish that sentence, Edward."

"Wanna join me in the shower?" I asked, hoping she'd say yes, but knowing at the same time that it was going to delay our being ready to go quite a bit.

"As much as I want to, but I think you should give your body a bit of rest, baby. I'm actually surprised you've felt up to doing all that you have, considering how bad you're hurting."

"Right, this coming from the woman that was teasing me while the Chief of Police sat in front of me. Maybe I should show him the burn hole on my foot…let him see what I'm dealing with when he isn't around."

"You can try, pretty boy, but it won't work. You put that fucking burn on your foot by being a dumbass. Besides, I could just as easily show him the knot that is _still _on my head from the coffee table."

"Touche," I laughed, looking her over as she smiled beautifully.

I fucking wanted her, and I knew just from the flushed color of her skin and the way she was biting at her lip and eyeballing my chest that she was just as fucking horny.

I didn't even give a second thought to my sudden urges as I jerked her up against me and then pinned her roughly against the railing.

"Edwa…"

She didn't have the chance to finish as I brought my lips down on hers, sucking hard on her bottom lip before nipping it and sliding my tongue into her mouth.

We kissed with a deep passion as my hands raked her sides and landed on her hips, my thumbs hooking on the waistband of her pants.

Her hands frantically clawed at anything she could reach; my hair, my shirt, my neck, back…_everything._

I wasted no time in pushing her pants down just enough to give me access to the sweet, hot apex between her thighs.

In reaction to me palming her mound, Bella's legs spread just enough to allow me to slip my fingers through her slick folds.

Would there ever come a time when she _wasn't_ fucking wet and ready for me?

I sure as hell hoped not.

A whimper escaped her throat as my thumb pressed against her clit, two of my fingers plunging inside of her.

As she alternated between biting at my lips and lapping at my jaw, her legs came up to wrap around my waist, giving her leverage to ride my hand.

Her hips undulated as I fucked her, our breaths now turned to panting.

"I-I w-want you," she moaned, slipping her hands beneath my shirt and sinking her nails into my skin.

I pulled my mouth from her neck, taking her ear lobe in my teeth and flicking it with my tongue. "Later, Doll," I rasped, mesmerized by her hooded, lust-filled eyes.

Bella's body began to twitch and shudder as my fingers pistoned in and out of her wetness, her walls tightening around me.

If she didn't come soon, I was going to blow my load in my pants, something she'd brought me close to numerous times but had never actually accomplished. And I was ashamed to say that she just might succeed tonight.

She obviously wanted me to, too, hold of my nipple ring through my shirt, flicking her finger against it as her beautiful, sweet mouth assaulted mine.

With intensity, the coil inside me snapped as my release shot in spurts against the fabric of my jeans.

We rode out our highs, finishing it off with Bella cleansing my fingers of her juices, and effectively preparing me for round two.

A round that was going to have to wait until we wither got back tonight, or until we made it to Louisiana.

With our breathing having returned to normal, Bella's legs fell from around my waist as she pulled her pants and panties back up, her arm grazing my extremely sensitive cock. I hissed aloud and pulled my lips from hers.

"You should let me take care of that, baby," she whispered sexily, her delicate hands tracing the outline of my cock through the thick material of my boxer-briefs; the look of desire in her eyes was too much.

"Doll, I swear that I'm not trying to be an ass, but if I let you do _that_, we'll be fucking late for Charlie, and I really don't want to get into any more trouble with him. Plus, there's no way in hell I'd stop at just that," I growled, grabbing a handful of ass.

"Okay," she laughed, pressing her lips to mine firmly once more before gently pushing me towards the door. "Go hop in the shower, Cullen, otherwise, I won't be responsible for my actions."

***~C&B~***

"Son, I have to say, you've got yourself a beautiful home," Charlie told me as he walked from the kitchen of my house into the living room.

I could see Bella's uneasiness as we walked in and saw the mess around the coffee table.

The place where she'd found me that night.

I felt guilt and self-loathing start to rear its ugly head, but refused to let it take over me; Bella and I had argued enough over that.

We'd already gone by her place and, thankfully, everything checked out and was fine. There were no signs of a break in and nothing out of the usual. Charlie had snuck in a few comments about the TV stand I'd put together for Bella, saying that it looked great since we'd reassembled it. Apparently, she'd taken a picture of it in its mangled state after I'd passed the fuck out that night and sent it to him.

She was going to pay for that shit later.

After she had gathered all the clothing and necessities that she needed—including the picture of us that the bitch, Alice, had fucking given her—we locked everything up tight and headed for my house.

I was also thrilled that Charlie hadn't gone into her bedroom too because her sheets were a fucking mess from our first night together, and my damn boxers were laying right next to her lacy panties in the middle of the fucking floor.

He'd reminisced on the drive to my house about how much Forks had changed, which I guess for someone that had been gone for fifteen years, I could see how they would think that. But for me, it was still the same shithole small town it was when I was kid. I hated Forks. The only thing good about it was my home, and my getaway home—Charlie and Bella's former house. A place that I was seriously considering taking him to once we were finished.

"Baby, how much of your clothes are you really planning on taking with us?" My Bella asked me as her nose scrunched up adorably.

My Bella. That was a new one.

"What's that face for?" I laughed.

"Seriously?" she deadpanned. "Edward, these clothes reek, and you fucking know it. I'm sure the smell is already baked into the fibers, they've been sitting here so long."

"Doll, it's all I have. I'll buy more when we get to Louisiana, but I've got to have something to wear in the meantime. I'll even use the hotel's laundry service to have them cleaned tonight if that makes you happy."

"You could always borrow some of Cha…"

My eyes bulged. "Don't even fucking go there, Bella. I am _not _borrowing Charlie's clothes. One, they won't fit, and two, Weekend at Bernie's isn't exactly my style."

Bella then covered her mouth and stifled her laughter, a snort or two slipping out. But it was where her eyes were directed that caught my attention.

"Shit," I groaned. "He's behind me, isn't he?"

I turned to find Charlie frowning at me. "Say what you want, Edward, but my 'style' beats your metrosexual shit any fucking day."

And that's all he said before turning on his heel and walking out.

"I can't fucking win with the two of you, can I?" I whined petulantly as she came closer and took my face in her hands.

"Aww, poor baby," she cooed. "I love you, but no, I'm sorry. You won't win against us, so you'd be better off if you just let us do our thing."

"Ha fucking ha, Doll," I mumbled, pressing my lips to hers lightly. "Hey, I was thinking that once we're done here, we can take Charlie by the old house."

"Are you sure, Edward? You told me that you had a stash still hidden there. Are you going to be okay around it?"

Fuck, I'd honestly forgotten about that shit.

"To tell you the truth, I forgot about that, Bella. But I think it works better that way. I think it would do me some good and in a twisted way kind of help me if I had both you and Charlie there with me as I dump the last bit of my stash and bid it fucking farewell."

She looked at me tenderly for just a second, her eyes conveying everything she was thinking: sympathy, support, love, _desire._

Damn, Bella really was something else.

And I fucking loved it.

Next thing I knew, we were embracing each other, our lips coming together eagerly.

I wasn't sure exactly on how long we'd stood there like that, but the clearing of Charlie's throat broke us out of the little bubble we'd trapped ourselves in.

"If that's everything, we better go," he told us sternly. "The less time we spend here, the safer we all are."

He had a good point, something I should've thought about myself.

"Come on, Doll," I whispered after I'd shoved everything I was taking with me into the only duffle bag I owned.

As we made our way out the front door, I set the house alarm before heading to Charlie's car.

"Hey, Edward, are you wanting to take your car?" Charlie asked.

"I would, but knowing Aro and his men, they've put a tracking device on it or some shit," I hissed and rubbed at my neck. I was really going to miss my car.

"Why don't we go up to one of the rental car places and see about getting you and Bells something to drive down in? I'm pretty sure that the two of you won't want to be cooped up inside of a car with me for that long of a drive."

"You sure? I thought it wasn't smart for me to use any of my credit cards or anything in case they were keeping tabs on me?"

"That's still true. I meant that I would cover this one, Son," Charlie answered as we all climbed into his car.

"You really don't have to do that. I cleaned out my safe in the house, so I have cash."

Bella looked over at me with a curious brow.

I'd never told her about my back up money in the safe. Something I kept in the case anything like this were to ever happen, I had a way to get the fuck out of dodge.

The conversation kind of dwindled to silence then. Well, except for my directions to the old house. I'm sure he realized long before we pulled onto the street, where I was leading him.

However, as we pulled up to the house, Bella gripped my hand fiercely as rage began to boil furiously in the pit of my stomach.

Outside of my house stood Jasper.

And on the porch was Alice, jug of gasoline in her hand.

Upon seeing us exit the car, she dropped the jug and started to come the steps.

"Edward, Bells, don't…"

Before I could say anything, before I could calm down, and before I could stop her, Bella jerked away from me and was currently hauling ass toward her.

Flames were already beginning to engulf the first floor and that in and of itself brought me to my fucking knees.

This…this house was everything to Bella and me.

Especially me.

It was where our life story began, and now…watching it be vandalized and torched the way it was…

I couldn't even put it into words.

Tears fell down my cheeks at what I was losing…that is until Charlie's strong voice shook me from my thoughts.

"Get the hell up and help me before Bella gives the FPD a reason to throw her in jail goddamit!"

I glanced up at Charlie, completely lost, and then followed the sounds of Bella's shouting.

She and Alice were on the ground, Bella on top of her landing blow after blow to her face.

I watched as Alice pulled something from her pocket, and it wasn't until I saw the silver gleam off the metal that I realized what it was.

Charlie must have noticed it at the same time because we both began hauling ass across the yard to them.

I looked around, hoping I'd see Jasper so I could give him the fucking beating he was due, but found no sign of him.

The Chief already had his phone to his ear, shouting for backup, leading me to believe he was on the phone with the police department.

"Ah! You fucking cunt bitch!" Bella roared, pain thickly laced in her voice as she jumped up and rammed her kneed down into Alice's chest.

All I saw was the red stain of blood that was quickly growing on the right side of Bella's grey shirt.

As soon as I was within grabbing distance, I took Bella under the arms and pulled her off of the bitch.

Bella fought against me, but I forced her behind me as Alice stood, knife in hand, murder in her eyes.

I had to say though, looking at Alice's battered, swollen face, and knowing that it my girl who did that to her, and all out of her love and protectiveness over me, turned me the fuck on and made me love her that much fucking more.

"You fucking bitch!" I yelled with all the anger I had in me. "What gives you the fucking right to come to _my house _and pull this shit?!"

"Dammit, Edward, move," Bella ground out behind me, still struggling to get free of my grip on her hips. "I'm not fucking done with her!"

I seriously contemplated letting her go, but when a blur came out of my peripheral vision and took her to the ground, I froze.

"_Get off of me!_" Alice wailed as Charlie pinned her to the floor, on her stomach and cuffed her wrists.

When the fuck had Charlie grabbed his handcuffs?

Did he have them this whole time?

"Edward, baby," Bella whimpered tearfully behind me, her hand pointing to our house which was now fully engulfed in flames.

The tears began to fall from my eyes once again as I pulled her to me, unable to tear my eyes away from part of our past and future being destroyed.

**Well, they found Alice. **

**Where did Jasper wander off to?**

**What was their purpose in doing this?**

**I'm going to try and have the next one up by this time next week. Things have been completely INSANE lately, so just bear with me, please!**

**Leave some love!**

**T**


	37. Chapter 35

**See you all at the bottom!**

**BPOV**

I stood, holding firmly to Edward as the sirens from the fire trucks, ambulances, and police began to surround us. Watching the house that I had grown up in, the house that Edward had bought as a safe haven, be burned to the ground as a form of retaliation from Alice sickened me.

She'd deserved every last hit I'd given her, and more. Hell, had it not been for Edward pulling me off of her, I was certain I'd have fucking killed the bitch.

"I'm going to need you guys to step back," the booming voice of a fireman shouted from beside us, one arm pressing against our abdomens and moving us backward.

The pressure from his arm caused me to hiss and clutch my side, seeing my hand come back covered with my own blood; my shirt was saturated.

Had the bitch actually _stabbed _me? How was I just now noticing this?

My reaction jolted Edward out of the haze he was in as his eyes moved to mine, his brow furrowed in concern. Then, they doubled in size as he took me by the arms and brought me to sit on the hood of Charlie's car.

He instantly crouched at my feet, gently lifting my shirt and examining my wound. The concentration and concern on his face as his fingers very carefully brushed the skin around it freaked me out.

This was the last thing that we needed to have happen. We were supposed to head out to Louisiana tomorrow and there was no way we could do that if I had to go to the fucking hospital.

"Shit," he groaned, his voice pained.

"Please don't tell me we have to go to the hospital," I whimpered, lowering my shirt and he stood up, pressing his lips against my temple.

"Its either that or you let me treat it and stitch it up until we can get you to a doctor in Louisiana."

"Let you treat her? How are you going to do that, Son?" Charlie boomed as he approached us.

"Dad, Edward was a doctor. Or have you already forgotten?"

"I know that, Bells, but to treat you, he needs supplies."

"Charlie, if you swing back by my house, I've got a medical kit in the kitchen," Edward answered, wrapping his arm around me, and holding me close, but making sure his hands weren't touching the wounded area.

As they continued to talk about what we were going to do, I watched as two police officers began walking in our direction.

"Well, looks like that run to your house is going to be postponed," I interrupted their conversation, motioning my head in the direction of the officers.

"Dammit, Charlie, Bella can't wait for them. If she's going to avoid a hospital until we get to Louisiana, I need to get her fucking stitched up," Edward ground out.

"What the hell happened here?" One of the officers demanded as soon as he was in shouting distance.

"My daughter and I used to live in the house when we were here fifteen years ago. We came by to look at it but when we arrived, Alice Cullen and that Jasper kid were coming out with gallons of gasoline."

"Who owns the house now?"

"I have no i…" Charlie started but Edward cut him off.

"I do, sir," he answered with a weak voice as he looked at me tearfully.

I chanced a glance at Charlie and saw the surprise and awe in his face. We hadn't had the chance to tell him before we caught Alice and Jasper.

"Bells?" he whispered to me.

"We'll talk about it later, Dad."

"Did I hear you correctly? Did you say there was someone else with Ms. Cullen?"

"Yeah, but he ran off. I have no idea where he may…" Edward paused and then looked at me with wide eyes. "There's a tree house in the back. Has anyone happened to check it out?"

Holy shit.

Why the hell hadn't I thought about that?

The interrogation by the police went on for a few minutes more—Charlie and Edward handling the questions—before we were finally given the clear to leave. They left their numbers down for Edward in the case he remembered anything of importance and said that someone would be in touch with him regarding the details of what they found.

To be honest, I was too focused on the pain from my side that was only beginning to get worse over time.

Edward's arm never moved from around me, but apparently, I'd moved in a way that alerted him because before I knew it, he had me pulled aside and was slouching down to meet my eyes, my face held gently in his hands.

"What is it, Doll?" he asked tenderly, his eyes darting to my side for just a second.

"It's starting to really fucking hurt, Edward," I replied, wincing as I did so. "Jesus, did the bitch stab me or just cut me?"

"From what I can tell, it's just a gash, but it's pretty deep. I can't really tell you for sure until I get the area cleaned up. What the hell were you thinking jumping her like that?" he asked with a bit of bite in his tone.

"What do you think I was thinking?!" I shot back, pissed that he was even asking me that.

But then, in the distance, I saw a group of officers pulling someone from the back of the house.

Jasper.

"Baby, look," I told him, pointing in the direction of the commotion.

Edward's head turned in the direction and I could see his eyes fill with pure rage and hatred the second he locked eyes on him.

"Son of a bitch," he growled, watching a minute longer before turning back to me.

"Go, Edward."

His eyes doubled in size as he shook his head. "You've obviously gone delirious if you think I'm fucking leaving your side for a second. There will be plenty of time for me to deal with him when we come back."

I knew he was afraid of something happening to me the minute he walked away, and honestly, I would've been afraid as well…if it wasn't for Charlie also being here.

I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath, shoving the sharp pains down enough to get what I needed to say out.

I reached out and took his hand, tugging and urging him to look at me. "Edward, baby, if you don't go over there and fucking talk to him, you might miss out on your chance in finding out exactly what the fuck happened tonight. Charlie is just right there. Bring me over there and then get your ass over there and put the fear of god in that asshole."

I could see him warring with his emotions as his face went through a variety of expressions.

"Dammit, Bella, you _do _realize that you're telling me to walk away from you, after you've been fucking _cut_ by that bitch, right?" he exclaimed, fisting his hair. "Charlie may be here, but there are so many fucking people after us, Doll…seriously dangerous, sick people, and they can strike…"

Not letting him finish, I hollered out to Charlie, who instantly came running.

"You okay, Bells?"

"I will be," I answered, turning my attention back to Edward. "_Go._"

Edward exasperatedly sighed, and walked off, biting his lip in frustration. He was more mad at the situation, not me; that much I was sure of. That didn't make me feel any less guilty, but this was something I knew he needed to do.

**EPOV**

I was only humoring her with this shit. As much as I fucking loved Bella, her stubbornness was—at the moment—a royal pain in my ass. My mind was already a whirlwind of emotion, and her sending me out to confront Jasper, in front of God only knows how many police officers, was only adding to my stress.

Did I want to confront him?

Hell yes.

Did I want to know exactly what the hell happened?

No, because I already did. Alice had obviously learned about my owning this house from Esme, and as my luck would have it, she saw it as the perfect opportunity to hit me and Bella where it hurt. She'd killed two birds with one stone.

Granted, I hadn't the slightest fucking clue where Jasper fit into this part of the puzzle, but I don't know how Bella really saw this playing out.

She knew my temper as well as I did.

That cocksucker was going to be surrounded by police and if I hit him—which I knew I would—I would possibly get charged with assault. Besides, if he was involved with this shit, there was no way in hell he was going to admit to it in front of the officers.

He wasn't that stupid.

The only good thing to come from this whole incident was the fact that the bitch was going down for arson, having been caught red handed. I was positive that Alice would try sticking Bella with assault, but considering that it was my house and her attack on the bitch had been the primary reason we'd caught her, I doubted the police would actually charge her.

Hell, if nothing else, all we had to do was say that she attacked Bella, and then—with Bella's knife wound—we'd end up charging Alice for assault instead.

"Sir…sir, you can't come any further," an officer's voice boomed, his hand against my chest, stopping me from getting any closer to the squad car which held Alice, and the one that Jasper was leaned up against.

"Look, this is _my _house and I think I deserve to confront the pieces of shit that did this," I snapped. "Not only that, but that's my sister and her fucking boyfriend."

Just saying the words turned my fucking stomach, but if that's what it took for them to give me access to them, then I had no problem in spouting the lies—no matter how much the truth hurt.

I watched as the officers shared a glance and then parted, letting me through.

Jasper's eyes widened upon sight of me coming closer.

Call me stupid, but as soon as I within reach, I struck him with a hard right hook.

The officers shouted and started to rush me but I quickly backed away a bit and gave them a look to let them know I was fine and wasn't going to try anything else.

Though they remained close by just in case.

Charlie and Bella were probably shitting themselves watching me.

Well…maybe not Bella. Hell, she was probably cheering, just like the kick ass woman I knew her to be.

Jasper's head slowly came up, his eyes glaring at me as he spit a mouthful of blood at my feet.

"What the fuck was that?" he hissed.

"Turning your fucking back on me, you and the family stripping my dignity and pride from me wasn't enough?! You had to come and destroy the one thing that Bella and I held dear, too? What the fuck did I ever fucking do to you to deserve this shit?!" I roared.

"Edward, you have to fucking listen to me, man," he pleaded, actually tearing up. While it surprised me as I'd never seen the asshole cry, I wasn't falling for it. I couldn't trust any of them anymore. "I came to stop her! I'll admit, she was fucking hiding out at Esme's when I called you, and when the police came looking for her. Esme just provided her with an alibi. When I threatened to give her up, she brought up that Aro guy and swore that I'd be dead before I could fucking blink. She made me call you. She wanted me to talk you into coming back to the house. I only realized after I got off of the goddamn phone that it was setup. I may have turned my back on you, and for that I'm more sorry than you'll ever know, and I may have even been moved to hating you at one point, but never…never did I want to see you fucking dead, man! To know that the bitch was fucking around on me the whole fucking time, and with your _real _father no less! That shit came as as much a surprise to me as it did you. I know you probably don't believe a word I'm saying to you, but I swear on my life, I had no idea about the coke. About Aro, Carlisle, the lies about you…I knew nothing," he cried. "I was so fucking blinded by how much I loved her that I believed every word she said. I know that what happened isn't your fault, and if I could go back in time and actually be there for you, ask for your side instead of being the fucking douchebag I was, I would."

I looked at him for a while, pissed because he'd actually made me fucking cry. I could see no sign of lies in his eyes, but that didn't mean anything.

"Bullshit! If you were so disgusted by learning the truth, why the hell didn't you leave and go to my house? Why didn't you just text everything to Bella instead of two lines of bull? For fuck's sake, why didn't you slip away and call the police, turning her in whenever you had the chance?!"

"_Because that fucking asshole and his crew are at Esme's house!"_ he shouted.

I glanced over to Alice in the squad car and saw her eyes widened in rage as she looked at Jasper. He'd just fucking betrayed her. He wasn't bullshitting me. He was telling me the truth.

I had nothing left to give. I wasn't ready to forgive and forget with anyone. I wasn't ready to let him or anyone else back into my life.

"Edward, they're still there," he whispered.

"Have you told the police any of this?"

"Yes. They know. Emmett too."

"Emmett? What do you mean he knows? What the fuck does he have to do with any of this?"

"Edward, he's fucking devastated. He and Rose want nothing more than to leave and get back in touch with you—I mean, he's fucking desperate—but they won't let us out of their sight. They have the whole fucking house under lockdown."

"And they just so happened to let you out with Alice?" I roared. "Bullshit!"

"Man, I had to convince them and Alice that I was on their side. That's why I was such a dick on the damn phone. They were listening to every fucking word I said! When I learned that she was setting out to set fire to one of your houses—which, by the way, that threw me off. I thought you only had one house. Anyway, I told them that I wanted to go along, that I wasn't letting my girlfriend out of my sight. They agreed. Edward, when you pulled up with Bella and Charlie, we were arguing. I was yelling at her to stop."

"Why the fuck did you run, Jasper?"

"Because I didn't want to get pinned with arson! I didn't step foot inside that fucking house, Edward. You can smell me; there aren't any traces of gasoline on me. But it doesn't matter. I'm going to get charged anyhow and I don't blame you if you seek the harshest sentence on us both."

"If there aren't any traces, then you'll just be charged as an accomplice. I will thank you for having informed me of what's going on, and I can accept the fact that you're sorry, but I can't forgive you. Any of you. Not yet. If you talk to Em, you can pass it on."

"Ed, man, one last thing before you confront her. Something you should know…Emmett dropped the restraining order against you seeing the boys. I wouldn't fucking recommend it right now, not until all this other shit is taken care of, but you need to know, you can see them whenever you wish. Emmett wants you to."

As soon as he finished, the police pushed him into the cruiser and I watched as they drove away with him in tow.

That last bit of news threw me for a fucking loop and almost brought me to my knees. There was nothing stopping me from finally seeing my nephews again. But just as with the situation regarding Jasper, I couldn't trust anyone with anything right now. Yes, I believed him, but I refused to let them back in.

I wasn't sure if I'd ever be ready.

Turning my eyes back to the cruiser Alice was being held in, my heart once again filled with rage. With slow and determined steps, I moved toward the car, but just as I got close enough, it began to pull out of the drive.

And at the same time, I heard Charlie calling out my name with panic.

In a furious daze, I whipped my head around to where I'd left him with Bella, and what I saw caused my heart to plummet and my stomach to go into my throat.

Bella was limp in his arms as he struggled to keep her up.

My legs moved faster than they ever had as I rushed over to them, my heart pounding as I prayed to God that she'd only passed out from pain and not from the wound having been fatal or severe.

"Bella!" I called out in a breathless panic as I damn near collided with Charlie trying to slow myself down.

On my knees, tears spilling from my eyes, I took her face in my hands. I began pleading and chanting her name, begging her to wake the fuck up.

"Edward…" I heard Charlie call, but I couldn't be bothered by it. Not until I got some form of a response from my girl. "Son, she's okay. She was complaining about the pain increasing and then she saw the confrontation between you and Jasper and she passed out. I don't think it's a fatal wound, and not that I don't trust your medical training, but I don't think we have time to run and gather supplies. She needs attention now, and there's an ambulance right there."

"But what about Aro and Laurent? What about getting the fuck out of here?"

"We'll have the DEA standing guard over us, Edward. Besides, she'll most likely get stitches, right?"

"Fuck," I sighed. "That depends, Charlie. They'll probably want to do an MRI to see the extent of the damage inside. It could go either way. She could only be in for a night, or a week. There's something else you should probably call Barnes about."

Charlie's brow raised skeptically. "Here, why don't you carry her over to the ambulance. I'm sure my doing so would have you on my ass like a mother hen."

I smirked at him and as gently as I could, scooped her up in my arms, holding her close to my chest.

"Okay, so, this Barnes thing…what's up?" he questioned as we began walking.

"Jasper told me that Aro's gang has set up shop in Esme's house. They're refusing to let anyone in or out, and that Aro put Alice up to setting fire to the house. Jasper told me that he only went along because he wanted to try and stop her."

"And you believe him?"

"Surprisingly, I think I fucking do. Apparently, Alice has been there this entire time and Esme's been covering for her. There's no telling what exactly is going on inside that house, but Jasper was forthcoming about everything."

"After you knocked the fuck out of him, you mean?"

I glanced at Charlie and actually laughed to see him smiling.

"Edward, Bells told me that the house really was yours. Is that true? Did you buy my old house?"

"Yeah. I would come here when everything got to be too much, which was pretty often. It became like my safe haven, and it made me feel…"

"Closer to Bells?" he guessed, causing me to look at him in awe.

How the fuck did he do that?

"Son, I'm not as blind as you think. I'm just surprised that you two never stayed in contact."

"That's mostly my fault, too," I admitted quietly as we approached the doors of the ambulance. "I'll explain it later."

And with that, I handed Bella over to the paramedics that were currently buzzing around us, asking every damn question under the sun.

Thank fuck Charlie had all his senses intact and his head on straight, because I was basically a fucking invalid.

At this moment more than anything else, I wished I still had my medical license.

Nothing was more infuriating than knowing you had the skills and the fucking degree, and not being able to help the woman you love because it had been stripped from you.

And if I had started shooting out questions and vitals that only a fucking doctor would know, they'd eventually ask my name, to which they'd blanche and probably shun me just as everyone else fucking had.

The only thing that fucking matter to me right now was Bella, and if she didn't come out of this okay, I didn't know what the hell I was going to do.

**Sorry for the delay in getting this chapter up.**

**I hope you all can bear with me as I deal with some serious RL issues. **

**Just know that I will update as soon as I can!**

** I am NOT going on hiatus or anything like that, but it may be a week or two before I can get another chapter out.**

**Now that that's out of the way...**

**What about Jasper?**

**Is Edward foolish to believe him? Do you think what he says is true?**

**Leave some love!**

**T**


	38. Chapter 36

**This chapter has become another one of my faves.**

**Hope you enjoy it!**

**ChPOV**

This was like going through my worst nightmare all over again. Only not.

Yes, Bells was no longer in danger of dying to a heroin overdose, but instead, she now laid on the stretcher inside the ambulance, unconscious and suffering from a knife wound.

Until the paramedics announced how serious the wound was, Edward and I had to sit back and wait.

It was driving us both fucking mad, and I couldn't even begin to think about how hard it was on him—he who'd once been a doctor.

I wanted to rip Alice from the cruiser and give her a good slap myself, but that would have done nothing to help our case. That and…well, let's face it: Bells and Edward needed me.

Problem was, I wasn't good with this shit. I hated not knowing what was going to happen to my baby girl. And I didn't know how big of a setback this would be in getting us on the road and the fuck out of here.

With tears spilling from my eyes at a steady pace, I ran a hand through my hair, breathing heavily as anxiety took over me.

No matter the circumstances, no father—no _parent_—should ever be put through the trauma of seeing their child fight for their life. And seeing her bloodied up and vulnerable stabbed viciously at my heart.

Without Bells, I had nothing.

Well no, while that used to be true, it no longer was; I had Edward now too.

Though that didn't make this whole situation any easier.

As I stood back and looked at Edward leaning against the ambulance doors, watching anxiously as the paramedics worked on her, tears fell in heavy streams down his cheeks and his hands ripped at his hair in agony.

It had to have been fate that had brought my baby girl to him.

Hell, if I had known the truth about him and how his life would turn out fifteen years ago, I'd have fucking taken him with Bells and I to Louisiana. And I wished I could turn back time, but that's the part of life we just have to learn to live with.

"Which one of you guys are Edward?" One of the paramedics called out from beside the stretcher.

"He is," I answered as the guy was looking at me.

"She's starting to come to and she's asking for you," the guy told him before turning his attention back to me. "We're about to head to the hospital. Only one person can ride with her, and I assume that you're okay with him doing so?"

"Yeah, I'll follow behind shortly," I choked out, making my way up to the ambulance doors where Edward was climbing in. "I'm just gonna check in the with officers and see what all I can find out. I know you don't have a phone so…just…take care of our girl, Son."

His eyes narrowed at me in what seemed to be complete confusion for a minute before skeptically nodding.

Most times that I received that look from people, I knew what they were thinking. But with Edward? Fuck, I hadn't a clue what he had going through his head, though if I had to guess, it had something to do with his riding with her and my staying behind. Or hell, maybe it was because I'd gotten emotional at the end. Who knows?

With hair like that his, bad luck, a medical degree, and a heart of gold, I'm sure his head was a damn clusterfuck of a place to be.

Regardless, now that Bells was waking and had Edward beside her on the way to the hospital, I could breathe a bit easier and focus on bringing the pieces of shit known as the Cullens to justice.

It wouldn't be easy as I was out of my jurisdiction, but I had a minefield of information that could convict most of them and by God, I was going to use it.

**BPOV**

"Wait, what is that you're giving her?" I faintly heard Edward's panicked voice say.

_Panicked? Why is he panicking? And who the fuck is he talking to?_ The last time I'd seen Edward, he'd just knocked the fuck out of Jasper.

And why the hell was I feeling so damn dizzy and lightheaded?

It also seemed I was lying down.

"Morphine, for the pain."

"_No! No, no, no!"_ he nearly hollered, startling me out of whatever funk I was in in my head. "She's a recovering addict! No opiates. A heavy dose of ibuprofen would suffice."

"And you didn't think to make us aware of this fact before now?"

_Oh hell no!_

"Give him a damn break," I hissed, managing to open my eyes, immediately setting my sights on Edward…covered in blood. Shit, it was all coming back to me now. "He just watched his fucking house burn down for fuck's sake, and you should be glad that he fucking told you before you stuck me, asshole," I mumbled tiredly, shooting a glare over at the paramedic who looked down at me, seemingly stunned.

A rough chuckle escaped Edward's lips as he gripped my hand and I turned to gaze at him through somewhat blurry vision. "Who would've thought that even when you're loopy, you could still kick some ass?" he teased, leaning his head down, pressing against mine.

"Why the tears, Eddie?" I asked softly, trying my hardest to focus. When he bowed his head and shook it, I knew. "Baby, I'm okay; I'm gonna be okay."

Apparently, I'd really fucking scared him, and given his expertise, I had to take this seriously. Maybe it was worse than I thought. I just hoped that this didn't mean I'd be staying here for a prolonged amount of time. We had to get out of here.

"I know, Doll, I know," he whispered, lightly brushing his lips against my cheek.

"Where's Charlie?"

"He's just taking care of a few things; he'll meet us at the hospital."

"What's going to happen, Edward? How bad is it, really?"

"Honestly, Doll, I don't know. I couldn't get a good look at it because of all the blood. I have no idea how deep it is, or how severe. Until they do an MRI or something of the like, we aren't going to know anything. In hindsight, its best this way. I could've stitched you up, but getting on the road without knowing exactly what we were dealing with was too big a risk to take."

"I'm sorry, did I just hear you say you had planned on stitching her up yourself?" the cocky paramedic asked from the other side of me.

I watched as Edward arched a brow in warning and set his eyes on him.

Fuck, he really didn't like this guy, and damn, my lady bits definitely liked this side of Edward. The look in his eyes set me on fire.

"You know, I thought you looked familiar and I haven't been able to place where I know you from. You an ex-paramedic, fire fighter or something?"

"Not even close, jack ass," I laughed. "This is Edward…_Cullen._" I threw in. I knew what his history was, but if Edward was once highly respected in his field as I believed him to have been, this guy would know him.

And judging from the shocked look on the guy's face, I was right.

Edward stared a hole in me as the guy straightened up.

"Holy shit, man! It's been what, three, four years?" the dude exclaimed, holding out his hand.

"Almost three," Edward whispered, not taking his eyes off of mine.

"Look, I heard about everything, but you should know that those of us that worked with you back then, we knew it wasn't right. That it wasn't true."

"Well, isn't that just gr…" I started to say, wanting to lash out at the guy for not having said anything in Edward's defense back then.

"Thank you, Jack," Edward murmured.

This guy, Jack, seemed surprised to hear Edward refer to him by his name, so I could only assume that he had been telling the truth. He really had worked with Edward back then and apparently, he didn't think he'd remember him.

And while all of this was going on, I couldn't help but feel a bit of jealousy. While it was completely out of line, I was envious of the fact that the people of this town had gotten to see him during his better days. How I wished I could've seen him back then in all his glory.

But I wouldn't trade my Edward for anything. I loved him just as he was now, emotional scars and all.

***~C&B~***

After hours of being poked and prodded, scanned and fed false hope—no matter how many times they say it'll only be a few minutes, it's always hours—we, Edward and I, were finally given the go ahead to leave for the night.

Thank God that I'd only wound up with a series of staples. According to the doctor that checked me out, the cut hadn't gone deep enough to really damage anything, which only confirmed what Edward had originally thought upon looking at it the first time, before he'd left to approach Jasper.

The doctor happened to recognize Edward as well, and he'd even went on to mention that more than half the hospital had formed and signed a petition, going against the case where his license had been revoked.

I knew from the bafflement in Edward's eyes that he'd had no idea what he was talking about, which gave me something to look into later on.

Charlie managed to make it up to the hospital, but after sitting with us for a few hours, he'd left to make a quick run at the local twenty-four hour Walmart; said he was hungry and wanted to gather what supplies and such we would need while out on the road.

Hence the reason we were left waiting outside, Edward holding me in his lap as we shared a cigarette.

"Edward?" I asked, leaning my head back on his shoulder.

"Hmm?"

"Are you gonna tell me about what happened with Jasper?"

I heard him sigh as his breath brushed against the back of my neck. "Can it wait until we're in the car and on the road? I…I want to just _be _with you right now, okay, Doll? It's been one hell of a long day and to end it all with you getting fucking knifed…" he rambled, the tiredness coming through in his voice.

I slightly, but very slowly, turned in his lap a bit; just enough to wrap an arm around him. Well…his neck anyway.

I brushed my other hand through his chaotic hair and brought my lips down on his tenderly, sucking his bottom lip into my mouth and lingering for a minute. "That's fine," I whispered.

"Doll, do you think Charlie would be opposed to stopping at a damn hotel an hour or so out of town?"

"I don't know, but I fucking hope so," I groaned.

"Are you in pain, Bella?" he questioned, his brow furrowing in concern.

"No, this is nothing compared to what I've suffered before; believe me. I'm just fucking exhausted and looking at you, you could use some sleep too. I don't think either of us are in any condition to travel tonight."

"Well, if we do stop, I'm going to tell you now before you try anything on me—which I know you will anyway—I'm not doing anything with you until those fucking staples are out. You hear me?"

"Oh, you're awful fucking confident? What makes you think I'd still want your nasty, rank ass after having been cut and stapled? Seriously, Edward," I told him, rolling my eyes with a smile.

And suddenly, his mouth was at my ear. "Doll, you're just as addicted to me as I am to you. We both know that before this night is over, you're going to be begging me to fuck you."

"Sounds like you're complaining, Edward," I shot back, giving him my bitch brow.

"Fuck no," he growled kissing me. "It'll be just as much punishment for me to say no, but if we risk it and rip it open," he started, indicating to my abdomen, "we'll be fucked. Besides, it's just six weeks."

"Right," I laughed heartily. "Edward, we didn't even make it a full month after being reunited to go to bed together. And if you think I'm going to wait a month a half without having your cock inside me—whether it be my pussy or my mouth—you've got me fucked up," I breathed against his lips in warning, then brought his hand, which held the cigarette, to my lips for a drag.

A drag I then exhaled into his face.

His eyes were nearly black and full of lust; lust he could do nothing with. If he wanted to play this game, we could play, and I could guarantee that he'd lose every fucking time. Besides, he's the one that brought sex up to begin with, so in my opinion, he asked for it.

And he was definitely paying for it; if his steel dick, straining against his jeans beneath, me was anything to go by.

"You fucking suck," he mumbled, dropping his head onto my shoulder.

"Really fucking good, too, or so I've been told," I quipped, watching in delight as his jaw dropped and his shook his head at me.

"I can't win with you, can I?" he asked gruffly.

"Nope, afraid not, so you just asoon admit defeat now and learn to take it."

"No, I'll let you get away with it for now, but I promise you, I'll get you back for this shit later."

"Oh?! You're going to go against the rules with me already ready?" I guffawed, turning my head and meeting his eyes in excitement.

"_Later_…as in _six weeks_ later," he hissed, taking another drag off the cigarette, and before he could exhale, I pressed my mouth to his, allowing him to breathe it into my mouth as we kissed passionately, his tongue twirling around mine in languid strokes.

"Goddamit, we really need to stop this shit. Is this how I'm gonna fucking find the two of you every time?" my Dad's voice burst through our bubble, causing Edward to pull away immediately as though his lips or ass were on fire.

"Shit," Edward mumbled. "Would you believe me if I told you this were all her?"

My head whipped around, fixing him with a furious stare. That little shit!

"That would be a big _no_, considering what all I've heard come from your mouth and seen already. And I'm pretty sure that you'll be up in the front seat with me when we leave here. In fact, I'd say it would be wise because right now, Bells looks like she's about to rip your balls off and feed 'em to you."

Not believing Charlie had just said that, I had to stifle my laughter, but knowing how to get back at Edward, I looked at him angrily, and I could see the pleading in his eyes.

It wasn't working.

I reached out and grabbed hold of his pierced nipple through his shirt and twisted roughly, knowing that as he howled out it would appear to Charlie as though he were in pain, but in actuality, Edward had just jazzed his fucking pants.

During Charlie's rant, I'd been very discreetly grinding myself against his cock in slow movements. Thanks to the topical anesthetic that they'd put around my gash, I couldn't feel a damn thing right now.

And I knew Edward had come because he'd cursed low in my ear and grunted where only I could hear him.

That and I'd felt his cock twitching beneath me.

My job was done.

After whispering that I loved him into his ear, I stood and with Charlie's help, made it into the car. Edward, clearly uncomfortable, began to walk awkwardly after us, hands shoved deep in his pockets, and eyes glaring at me.

Fuck.

That was the same look he'd given the paramedic earlier.

And now, it was directed at me.

The bad thing was, he couldn't do anything about it, except tease me relentlessly.

Couldn't be that bad, right?

**EPOV**

She was satan incarnate.

I love her, but damn it to hell, I was going to kill her.

Now, I got to look forward to an hour long trip—or however long—in a car with her, and Charlie, wearing pants full of jizz.

How the fuck the little minx had managed that just by sitting on my lap and twisting my fucking nipple—damn piercing—was beyond me.

And the worst part? I couldn't do a damn thing about it. Sure, I could tease the ever loving fuck out of her, but as I said, she was the damn devil and I knew that she'd get me back somehow, one way or another.

Until she was healed, I just as well consider myself defeated.

Though, after what she'd just endured in defense of me, I couldn't hold it against her. I was just glad that she still had the strength and the mindset to mess around.

I knew that watching the house burn to ground had affected her, just as it had me, but thankfully, she was avoiding that topic.

Or at least she hadn't brought it up.

Yet.

She wanted to know about what went down with Jasper, and I was fully set on telling her, but as I had asked her, I just wanted to not think about it for the time being. Hell, maybe if I was lucky, Charlie would save me from having to go back there and would fill her in for me.

I still wasn't sure whether I should believe him or not. I mean, yeah, the part regarding Aro holding everyone down at Esme's house…that I believed without a doubt because it fit Aro's m.o. But as far as him feeling regret and begging for forgiveness, I wasn't sure about that, and I sure as hell didn't know what to believe about him trying to stop Alice.

Reason for that being, when we pulled up to the house, his dumb ass had been standing there just fucking watching her as she set fire to the place. If he had been trying to stop her, we would have noticed because it would have been obvious.

"Edward?" Charlie called out from inside the car. "What the hell are you doing? You gettin' in or what?"

I snapped out of my trance and opened the back door, climbing in and sidling up next to Bella, who grinned at me smugly.

Shit.

"Suit yourself," Charlie hummed. "Your funeral," he laughed, glancing at me in the rearview mirror.

"He's find, Dad," Bella chuckled softly beside me, placing her hand on my lap. "Besides, I'm probably going to lay down in a minute and it'll be nice having a pillow."

At that, she winked at me, making me throw my head against the back of the seat, instantly regretting having gotten back here.

Her mood and her head in my lap were a dangerous combination for me, especially with him in the car.

Lucky for her, she couldn't be seen with the rearview mirror, whereas I could, which meant that no matter what fucking tricks she had up her sleeve that she decided to pull, I'd have to control myself and act as though nothing was out of the ordinary.

Hell, if she wasn't already hurt, when she did decide to lay in my lap, I would have reenacted the coffee table incident, only she would have face planted the hard plastic console instead.

However, I wasn't that lucky.

No, luck was laughing it's ass of at me right now.

As I shook my head in frustration, Bella snuggled into my side, nuzzling her face in my neck as she gently kissed the skin there.

She was being sweet now?

"Who are you and what have you done with my woman?" I asked flatly.

"Oh come on, you aren't seriously mad at me, are you? It's not like you didn't deserve it after you threw me under the bus," she whispered accusingly into my ear.

"Threw you under…" I sputtered. "It _was _all you!"

"What are you two whispering about back there?" Charlie boomed. "There better not be any hanky panky going on back there," he told us firmly, glaring into the rearview mirror as his mustache twitched.

"Hanky panky?!" Bella exclaimed. "For christ's sake, Dad! Will you please quit making references to our sex life?!"

Kill me right the fuck now.

"Well, if you'd quit giving me reasons to, maybe I would, dammit."

"Jesus, if you must know, we were talking about maybe stopping at a hotel an hour or so from here. I know you wanted to hit the road and not look back, but the truth is, we're both fucking exhausted. Neither one of us are in any position to drive right now."

"Fine, but me and Edward are sharing a room, Bells."

_What?!_ Oh fuck, tell me he plans on getting two beds.

"Dad, now you're just being ridiculous. I just got fucking cut with a knife and now have sixteen staples. What the hell are we going to do, huh? And what if I wake up in the night and hurt too badly to get up for some water to down my ibuprofen?"

Well, played, Swan. Well played.

"Fine," he growled, giving the car gas and focusing his eyes back on the road. "We'll stop in a few hours, okay? If you two get tired, just crash in the back seat. I've got it from here."

"Charlie, I can drive. It's not that big of a problem, if need be," I told him, desperately hoping he'd tell me he wanted to switch off right now. Anything to get me out of the backseat with my minx of a girlfriend. She was fucking planning something. I could see it written all over her.

"Nah, I got it, Edward. Besides, I'm sure Bells wants your lap as a pillow rather than my arm."

Well, shit, that didn't come out sounding bad at all. Insert sarcasm here.

Sure enough, after Charlie had turned on some music and had driven for a good twenty minutes, Bella did just as she'd said she would do.

She carefully stretched out beside me on the seat, putting her head in my lap.

Facing me.

I placed a hand on her arm, gently rubbing back and forth as my other hand ran through her soft hair, doing everything in my power _not _to look down at her.

But sometime later, when her finger began lightly gliding along the waistband of my jeans, under my shirt, my eyes immediately flew to hers, me arching a brow in warning.

Warning she did not heed.

Surprise, surprise, right?

With a wicked smile, she slipped the button on my jeans and moved her fingers to my zipper.

"What the _fuck_ do you think you're doing?" I harshly whispered, knowing full well that Charlie couldn't hear me over the radio.

Bella just grinned wickedly and slowly lowered my zipper.

"Doll, I swear to…"

"I'm just going to clean you up a bit so you aren't so uncomfortable."

I'm sure my eyes grew to saucers then. Was she fucking serious? In the car?

_With her fucking DAD?!_

_Shit!_ I screamed in my head as I pulled at my hair. Because I'd gone commando, she had easy fucking access to my junk, and without warning, she'd just pulled my fucking dick out of my pants, immediately going to work on 'cleaning me up' as she'd so eloquently put it.

Her hot, slick tongue felt like it was fucking everywhere at once. Licking, sucking, teasing, searching, as she ravenously attacked my cock, no doubt doing just as she'd said she would.

What I bet she wasn't counting on was getting me fucking riled up again because whether she was ready or not, I was about to fucking blow again and it was going in her damn mouth.

There was no way in hell I was going to be stuck explaining to Charlie why there was jizz covering the back of his damn seat.

"Unf…fuck…Bella…Bel-la," I quietly whimpered, tangling my hands in her hair and pulling her mouth to slide over my dick, sheathing me until my tip hit the back of her throat.

Her eyes widened as I thrust my hips up as easily as I could.

I moved my eyes back to the rearview mirror, making sure Charlie was still oblivious, which he was, thank fuck.

With one last thrust, I shot my seed in steady streams down her throat, groaning low in my throat as she laced her fingers in my hand and proceeded to effectively lick me clean, finishing with a kiss to the head of my cock.

Once she'd moved her head back to my thigh, I quickly but cautiously tucked myself back into my pants and zipped myself up, hoping that my breathing would return to normal sooner rather than later.

"Hey, you kids hungry or thirsty?" Charlie questioned, turning the volume down on the radio as he peeked over the back of his seat.

My eyes were wide as I looked down at Bella who had buried her head in my lap and was laughing her evil fucking ass off.

"I could use some water," I rasped, my voice weak as Charlie shot me a suspicious look.

"Bells?" he asked, unsuredly.

"I'm good," she squeaked just before bursting into hearty laughter.

Fucking dammit.

**Poor Edward! **

**Bella's driving him mad, and there's shit he can do about it. LOL**

**And Charlie? Oh dear.**

**Next chapter will have more fun, but will also touch on the heavy once again.**

**I'm proud to say that it's already in the works.**

**Leave some love!**

**T**


	39. Chapter 37

**Sorry for the wait you've had to endure for this chapter!**

**This one is just more fun than anything. **

**Hope you all enjoy!**

**BPOV**

Okay, maybe I shouldn't have pulled that stunt in Charlie's patrol car, but damn! It was well fucking worth it.

I was sure that Edward was already concocting a plan to get me back, but I knew he wouldn't do a damn thing until my cut was healed, which meant one thing.

I was going to milk the hell out of this injury.

I can't help myself; I'm still cracking the hell up on the inside in regard to what Charlie had said combined with Edward's facial expression.

There was no way that Charlie hadn't caught on to something having happened in the back seat because my beautiful man, while he was bad ass and completely sexy, he couldn't tell a damn lie to save his life.

At least not to me or Charlie. As it was, he looked like the damn cat that ate the fucking canary. That, and when the volume of the radio was turned down significantly, it was a pretty big sign. The shock and fear was written all over him as he stared at Charlie wide-eyed.

Eventually, he shifted his stare to me, instantly twisting it into anger. Of course, it was playful; I mean, shit, I think—_hope_—it was.

Fuck.

***~C&B~***

Sometime soon after 'the incident', I'd drifted off to sleep in Edward's lap. Apparently, he hadn't been _completely _pissed at me because it was his fingers running softly through my hair that had made me succumb to the drowsiness brought on by the drugs.

When I woke, I heard the faint mumble of voices that slowly and surely became more clear.

"You sure you don't want to get out and stretch your legs, son?" I heard Charlie question, the tone of his voice clearly showing that he'd been simultaneously stretching and yawning.

"Nah, I'm good, Charlie. She's asleep and I don't want to wake her up. If you don't mind, when you come back out, I could use a drink," his velvet voice said nearly inaudibly above me.

"What do you want? I've got drinks in the back."

"I guess water or coke, if you have it."

I heard the opening of a door, obviously the trunk, and then a few more words between them before the back door clicked shut.

As soon as that happened, I damn near jumped out of my seat as ice fucking cold pressed against my breasts, inside my shirt.

"_What the fuck?!_" I screeched, sitting up—a little too quickly, might I add. Shit!

Edward's eyes were fixed on me with amusement, a glint of mischievousness shining as he arched a brow and smirked.

"Doll, you actually think that keeping your eyes closed is going to trick me into believing you're still asleep?" he laughed. "I fucking know the difference. And consider it payback for that shit you pulled earlier."

"Don't even try to play like you didn't enjoy it. In fact, I got you to cum a second time," I quipped.

"That's beside the point!" he exclaimed. "Fucking Charlie let into me the minute he realized you'd fallen asleep. Which thanks for that."

"Hey, asshole, in case you didn't notice, I was fucking slashed with a knife and given drugs that have a tendency to knock me the fuck out. And I'm sure that the interrogation he put you through was nothing compared to some of the shit he's gotten on to me about. Besides, he knows it was me that was guilty in whatever happened because you were sitting in a position where he could see your face the whole damn time. Are we seriously fighting over the fact that I sucked your cock in Charlie's car?" I ground out, fiddling with a loose thread on the collar of his shirt.

"It does sound pretty fucking stupid, doesn't it?" he laughed.

"Wanna do it again?" I smiled, fingering the neckline of his snug, black shirt.

His hand was on mine instantly, gripping it tightly as his eyebrows shot up comically. "Hell no!" he bit out. "Are you insane?! Once was bad enough, we were basically caught, and now…_now _you're telling me that you're actually fucking crazy enough to do it again?! Charlie will be back any second!"

"Edward, chill out. Charlie takes forever when he's stretching his legs, and I was joking with you anyway. But can't you at least kiss me? Or is that too fucking crazy too?"

We both smiled at that as he started to lean forward, keeping my hands held tightly in his, his hold never waning.

"Will you let go of my hand, please?" I whispered, my mouth inching closer to his.

"I don't trust you not to molest my cock right now. I'm hard enough as it is without you adding to it," he mumbled gruffly.

It took fucking everything in me not to glance down at the bulge in his jeans that was now pressing against my hip. "I won't violate you," I laughed, pressing my lips to his for a chaste kiss.

He looked me over skeptically for a minute and then released me. "Somehow, I think I'm going to regret doing that," he mumbled before moving back toward me, our lips molding together.

My hands went to his hair. Well…one did. The other slipped inside his shirt, running over his chest and abs, but only briefly.

I could spend the rest of my fucking life kissing this man and never tire of it.

With one last long stroke of his tongue along mine, he pulled away, softly suckling on my bottom lip. I disentangled my hands from his hair and shirt with a tender kiss to his lips.

"I love you, baby," I whispered to him, leaning forward until our foreheads touched.

"Love you too, Doll, so fucking much," he answered throatily as his hand came up to caress the side of my face affectionately, his eyes communicating all he was feeling.

"Maybe we should get out for a second and stretch our legs too. I really need the bathroom," I giggled, putting some distance between us.

"You want me to go in with you?" he questioned.

"Now who's trying to get us caught?" I joked, bursting into laughter when he scowled at me.

"You know damn good and well that's not what I fucking meant. I'm just saying, bending down is going to hurt like a bitch and I don't want you to be in pain."

"What do you suggest then, Doc? You gonna scoop me up and hold me over the toilet?"

His face twisted in disgust before he opened the car door and ushered me out.

"Thanks for the mental image, Doll. I'll just wait outside in case…"

"Dammit, Edward. Stop! I'll be…"

"Bells, what's wrong?" Charlie asked, coming out of nowhere, his hard eyes trained on Edward.

"Oh, nothing's wrong, Charlie. Bella was just begging me to go into the bathroom with her, but apparently, she can't take no for an answer."

_Oh, that rat bastard!_

Edward smiled a shit eating grin at me and winked as Charlie fixed his furious eyes on me.

I knew where his mind had just gone and it had everything to do with Edward and I's romp in the hotel dining room yesterday morning.

"Isabella Marie! Now, I don't know what the hell is going on inside that fucking head of yours, girl, but you know damn good and well that you're in no condition to be doing that kind of shit. And I cannot believe that despite all the times I've pleaded with you not to drag me into your sex life, you're standing here propositioning Edward! Oh! And that stunt you pulled earlier, _in my car—_I ever catch you doing that shit again and I'm buying that boy a damn chastity cage! Hell, I just asoon buy you one too!"

With a huff, Charlie turned his back on me and stomped off, obviously pissed, but then he stopped for a second and hollered for Edward.

I was fuming.

I could hear the shithead trying his hardest to stifle his laughter as he walked past me, brushing his hand across the front of my jeans, sending a rush of wetness to the apex of my thighs.

Fucking hell. I'd underestimated him.

I watched as Edward handed Charlie his pack of cigarettes. I didn't even fucking wait for him to come back before turning on my heel and hurrying into the convenient store across the parking lot.

I really did need the bathroom. That and if I had stayed right there and listened to him boast and laugh, I was going to knock the shit out of him.

Though it was all in good fun, and this was just more of Edward being playful and getting me back, Charlie's threat wasn't to be taken lightly.

Most of you are probably thinking 'yeah right'. _Trust me_; If Charlie said he would buy chastity belts to keep us from fucking each other's brains out, he'd seriously fucking do it.

That shit was unacceptable.

Before I could even make it into the bathroom, warm, strong arms wrapped tightly around my shoulders, pulling me against a solid chest, enfolding me in an embrace I'd know from anywhere.

His head lowered over my shoulder, his scruff raking against my cheek as he gently kissed it.

"Weren't you gonna wait for me?" he breathed huskily.

"I told you, I needed the bathroom and I wasn't about to have Charlie watch you stand next to the fucking door," I snapped.

"Doll, I swear, I didn't think he was going to react like that!" he hurried to defend, wide-eyed as he craned his neck around where I could see him.

"I know you didn't, you little shit, but he's not fucking joking about the chastity shit. He'll fucking do it if we push him hard enough."

"Right," he laughed, "Like Charlie's gonna hold me down to put a contraption on my dick. Bella, it's a scare tactic."

I turned abruptly in his arms to look up at him. "Really? Try him. I fucking dare you."

He continued smiling for all of five seconds before he realized I was serious. The color drained from his face completely.

"Doll?" he choked. "Bella? There's laws against that kind of thing, right?" I heard him ask as I opened the door to the bathroom, not bothering to mention anything about Charlie having been right behind him.

When I came out of the bathroom, I found Edward leaning against a window outside, cigarette in hand.

I walked over and tapped on the glass a few times, watching him as he turned and shook his head at me before tossing the butt on the ground and coming inside.

His arms went around my waist instantly as wrapped my arms around his chest and back.

"You fucking knew he was behind me, didn't you?"

"Maybe. Why? What did he say?"

"Why don't we just agree that we call this little back and forth thing off for now? Hmm? I think if we continue, we're both going to fucking _hate _the consequences," he groaned, leaning down and pressing a kiss to my forehead.

"See, now you're thinking, Cullen," I smiled, reaching up and pecking his lips. "Did he happen to say anything about us stopping?"

"Well, considering we're out in the middle of nowhere right now, he asked the cashier and they told him that there's a Holiday Inn about an hour and a half from here. Charlie said we'll most likely stay there tonight."

I whimpered and let my head slump against his chest as he pulled me just a bit closer. "That far?"

"Tired, Doll?"

"Yes! I don't think I've ever been so damn exhausted. All I want right now it to climb into bed and let you hold me."

I felt his chest vibrate with a quiet chuckle as he gave me a gentle squeeze. "Me too. Come on, he's waiting for us."

"Wait," I told him, tugging on the sleeve of his shirt as he began to walk off. "I want a drink."

"You haven't looked in the trunk yet, have you, Doll?" he asked flatly.

"I guess not."

"Well, I think there's enough food and drink in there to last us until next month."

***~C&B~***

Needless to say, Edward was spot on about the amount of shit Charlie had piled in the trunk.

Surprisingly, Charlie had allowed Edward to climb back into the backseat with me, though this time, the radio was silenced and his eyes flickered to the backseat every couple of minutes.

He'd even gone so far as to make us sit in the middle of the seat, or at an angle where he could visibly see my head in Edward's lap, which was disturbing for a multitude of reasons.

About twenty minutes after pulling away from the gas station, I asked Charlie about all that had happened at our old house. About what had been found out in regard to Alice and Jasper.

I had felt Edward tense up beneath me, but figured that asking Charlie to explain it all to me would be taking a load of his shoulders.

So for the rest of the ride to the hotel, he and Edward took turns filling me in. Charlie did most of the talking, only calling on Edward when there was something he wasn't sure about.

Edward's hands had resumed running through my hair and resting on my hip.

He leaned down every once in a while to peck my lips or brush noses with me, but other than that, we were both on our best behavior.

Which explained why Charlie was grinning smugly as we pulled into the lot of the hotel. He knew he'd fucking gotten to us.

Eventually, we were all headed up to our rooms. Charlie would be next door to us, and while he'd had a bit of a sour attitude when he'd said that he wanted two rooms, he was next door, which helped take the edge off of the situation a bit. That, and Edward and I had already said we were doing nothing more than going in and going the fuck to bed.

And I meant it.

"Hey, Doll, do you need some ibuprofen from your bag?" Edward asked from the bathroom of the hotel room.

He'd already helped me out of my clothes, leaving me in just my panties, and then covered me as I crawled into bed.

"Yeah, just bring me one, baby," I called out, watching him as he stood before the sink, rifling through my bag, finally finding it in the toiletry pocket. It seemed that it had been Charlie who'd put the medicine in there, because knowing Edward the way I did, if he had been the one to get it for me, he'd have shoved it in his damn pocket instead of actually packing it away.

Edward continued to stand there, nothing but his sleep pants on—he was afraid of not being able to control his urges in his usual boxer briefs—searching through his own bag.

I was getting impatient. I didn't mean to be petulant or whiny, but dammit, I just wanted to be close to him.

"Having trouble there, babe?" his soft voice murmured from right in front of me.

Apparently, I'd become so damn desperate, that I'd closed my eyes for just a minute, and when I opened them, he was braced on his forearms, his face mere inches from mine.

Putting the fact that he'd just called me 'babe' for the first time on the backburner, it was the laughter in his eyes and the smile on his face that rendered me speechless.

"What?" I asked, completely stupefied.

Fuck! Why did he have to be so goddamn hot?!

"You were whimpering like a wounded puppy over here," he chuckled, "but I think I know how to fix that," Edward purred, bringing his face slightly closer.

"Oh yeah?" I asked, flirting back and licking my lips.

Edward then brought one hand to his mouth and placed something on his tongue, while his other hand held a bottle of water against the mattress. Slow and sexy as hell, his tongue snaked out, my two ibuprofen pills resting on top.

_Mother of fuck…._

Never in my life had I ever taken medicine like this. My jaw dropped as I'm sure my eyes glazed over.

He winked at me and cocked a sexy brow at me as he came closer.

I only snapped out of it when the tip of his tongue brushed against my lips, at which point I gave a crooked smile and took his tongue into my mouth, twirling, sucking, and tasting, not stopping until I was sure I had both pills.

He quickly pulled away to hand me the bottle of water, and as soon as I'd gulped the pills down, he was back on me, kissing me with thoroughly and with passion.

And despite the fact that I was fucking dripping wet for him, and he was hard as steel against my thigh, we stopped there.

If we went any further than the kissing, we'd cave and give in because let's face it; our resolve was shit.

"You know, I can't think of a single time I've _ever _been given medicine like that," I told him, want still thick in my voice as I buried myself in his chest, his arms around me and our legs entwined beneath the sheets.

"Liked that, hmmm?" he grinned, brushing his nose with mine as my hand ran through the hair at the side of his head.

"Are you fucking kidding me? That was so fucking hot…I only wish I could do something about it!" I groaned, nipping at his jaw.

"Well, you can expect that to be the only way you take your fucking meds from here on out," he laughed. "My arm's not aggravating your staples, is it?"

"No, you're perfectly fine where you're at now, baby. Hey, did Charlie say anything to you about renting you and I a car tomorrow?"

"Oh, yeah. We're going first thing in the morning. There's no way in hell I could spend another day in a car with that man, Bella. Especially not after the way tonight went, you damn vixen."

"Well, now, you weren't so innocent yourself, Cullen," I teased, running a single fingernail down the center of his chest to the waistband of his pants.

"Shit," he hissed, barely thrusting his hips against me. "I could fucking kill that bitch Alice, right now for having done this to you."

"Hey," I murmured, taking his face in my hands and pressing my lips to his. "None of that. I'm done talking about them and their bullshit. Right now, I just want to lay in your arms, baby. Let's put all that shit behind us, just for right now, please?"

"I love you, Bella," he whispered, kissing me back and then settling down into the pillows, pulling me further into him.

"I love you too, Edward."

***~C&B~***

**EPOV**

For the first time in a long time, I woke up, not remembering ever having fallen asleep. All I knew was that I'd finally slept through the night and had her in my arms throughout.

When Bella woke, the heavy doses of medication they'd given her yesterday to numb the pain and dull it had worn off in the night, so she was really feeling the aches and pains today. I felt fucking horrible and helpless. I mean, hell, this morning I'd had to help her sit up in bed from it hurting so badly.

Of course, after—_and only after—_I brushed my teeth did Bella allow me to give her the medicine in the same I had the night before. And I'll admit, it was my first time every having done something like that.

What do you fucking know…I was surprising myself.

Anyhow, once we'd given ourselves time to wake up and get ready, we met Charlie down in the lobby for breakfast. He also seemed well rested as he told us that he'd already called Enterprise Rent-A-Car and had reserved something for Bella and I. Supposedly, it would be ready by the time we finished eating and had everything loaded. I just prayed that the car he reserved wasn't a damn grandpa caddy or Lincoln. Nothing against the cars, just not my style. I honestly hoped that he'd gotten something we could have fun in.

So, imagine my surprise when we pulled up to the lot and a shiny, black Camaro; complete with chrome rims and convertible top. Bella and I both stopped walking simultaneously and looked over at Charlie. He stood grinning at us like a proud parent.

Still not believing it, thinking they were going to come around the corner with a damn Honda Accord or something, I lowered my sunglasses to the middle of my nose and eyeballed him over the top of the frames.

"You're not fucking serious," Bella guffawed, clutching at my arm tightly, almost to the point of pain. "A Camaro?! You rented us a damn _Camaro?!_" she screeched.

Charlie burst into laughter, and without me even realizing that Bella had let go of my arm, I watched as she hurried over to the car, looking inside.

"This couldn't have been cheap. The rates are damn near double for the sports cars, Charlie," I rambled, completely mindfucked.

Why the _fuck _would Charlie, a Chief of Police, go and rent a damn convertible Camaro for a trip across the fucking country?

Did he not realize how fast I drove? Or Bella for that matter?

Shit, I wasn't complaining, but…oh hell, you see my point, right?

"Thanks, Charlie," I laughed as he pulled me into a man hug.

"I just want ya'll to be happy, Son. After everything you two have been through the past week or so, ya'll deserved to have some fun. And just think about it. When we hit the open road, I've got my lights in the trunk of my patrol car. No one is going to bust a cop…and if I'm escorting you, you won't get stopped either," he told me in my ear, a smile in his voice before shoving me off in Bella's direction.

Okay, I fucking loved this man.

He never should have told me that because once we hit the open road and he gave the go ahead, I was putting the pedal to the fucking metal and topping that fucking car out.

"Holy shit! Baby, it's got leather seats!" she exclaimed, glancing over her shoulder and brilliantly smiling as she laid her eyes on me.

Already familiar with the inside of one—I'd driven one on a job one weekend—I simply laced our fingers together and pulled her behind me into the actual rental office.

I couldn't quit smiling, and seeing Bella so fucking happy is what the sole reason for it.

I didn't want to jinx anything, and I wasn't one for faith and all that shit, but I was starting to believe that this trip…going to Louisiana was going to be the best trip and life change I'd ever had…next to Bella.

Anyway, Charlie had obviously explained the situation to the rental agent or he'd pulled strings, but they somehow allowed Bella to use her fake I.D. to rent the car in her name—Marie Masen—and had taken my cash as payment. I would have let Charlie pay but thought that if Laurent and Aro decided to go so far as to check out shit like this, which they were known to do, we needed to have it clean and leave no traces.

Eventually, we made it out of there and into the car. Well…Bella got in. I helped Charlie load everything into the back.

When we were finally satisfied that we were ready to go, Charlie gave me a wave and headed back to his cruiser.

And as I slouched down, ducking to get into the driver's seat, I was surprised by Bella's hand waiting palm side up—ready to grab me, or my ass rather.

So yeah, the trip was definitely off to a good start.

I stuck the key in the ignition, strapped myself in, and Bella—I'd placed another t-shirt beneath the seatbelt over her lap to make sure it didn't irritate her wound—then adjusted the mirrors.

With a smile on my face, I leaned over the center console toward Bella, bringing my hand to the side of her face gently and trailing it into her hair, weaving it through my fingers. Catching on, Bella grinned at me and met me halfway, our lips coming together ravenously as our tongues slid together, tasting and savoring.

Pulling back only when we needed a breath, I inhaled the scent coming off of her skin before raising my eyes to hers and winking as I gave the car some gas.

"You ready for this, Doll?" I asked, letting my voice drop a few octaves, knowing what it did to her when I did that.

I watched in satisfaction as her legs rubbed together, obviously trying to ebb the ache that was forming at the apex of her thighs.

"Fuck yes," she groaned, placing her hand high up on my thigh, and digging her nails in.

Shit, she was good.

Then, Bella's damn phone rang out.

"You gonna answer that, Doll?"

She startled and reached into her purse, pulling it out.

"Dad, why are you calling me? You're ten to fifteen feet in front of us at the most," she laughed. "Oh okay," she told him, handing the phone over to me.

"Charlie?"

"If you and Bells are done playing tonsil hockey, I'd like to get the fuck out of Dodge."

"We were just about to hit the gas. You called right as I revved up."

"Well, don't make me worry about the two of you doing that shit on the road, okay?"

"No worries. Oh and if you see Bella and I pull off the highway onto an old abandoned road, don't stop and don't come looking. We'll catch back up."

Bella's eyes widened to saucers as I grinned wickedly, hanging the phone up and set in Bella's lap, deliberately letting my fingers brush the inside of her right leg.

I then glanced out the windshield at Charlie who was giving me the fucking finger.

It was with that gesture that Bella and I fell into hearty laughter, as I gave the car gas and peeled out of the lot, leaving the shithole town of Forks behind us.

**Well, they're finally on their way to Louisiana! **

**Let the fun ensue! **

**While there will be plenty of fun and laughs to be had, we'll still be dealing with the situation back in Forks and Seattle through Barnes (DEA).**

**Let me know what you think! **

**I don't know what it was about this chapter, but Edward fucking OWNED me!**

**Leave some love!**

**T**


	40. Chapter 38

**FINALLY! **

**Freaking FFN was down, otherwise this would have been posted hours ago! **

**This chapter finds us with more comedy, the heavy taking a backseat. **

**Hope you enjoy!**

"_Well, don't make me worry about the two of you doing that shit on the road, okay?"_

"_No worries. Oh and if you see Bella and I pull off the highway onto an old abandoned road, don't stop and don't come looking. We'll catch back up."_

_Bella's eyes widened to saucers as I grinned wickedly, hanging the phone up and set in Bella's lap, deliberately letting my fingers brush the inside of her right leg. _

_I then glanced out the windshield at Charlie who was giving me the fucking finger._

_It was with that gesture that Bella and I fell into hearty laughter, as I gave the car gas and peeled out of the lot, leaving the shithole town of Forks behind us._

***~C&B~***

**BPOV**

The first thing we were doing when we got to Louisiana was buying Edward a damn Camaro; particularly one just like this.

I would make fucking sure of it.

We'd been on the road for a few hours now, jamming to the music on our iPods, which I was convinced Edward had at full volume or close to it. He'd put the top down when I'd had to stop for the bathroom about fifteen miles back.

And honestly, I'd only said I needed the bathroom to give me an excuse to get away from him for a minute, because if I hadn't, I would've mauled his fine ass in the damn car. Doctor's orders and Charlie be damned.

But it had been to no avail because his sex appeal only rose with that fucking top down. Seeing him behind the wheel of this hot car, his bronze hair whipping in the wind, eyes shielded by his sunglasses, and the sun kissing his already slightly tanned skin…my panties were ruined for sure.

His eyes crinkled in the corners as he grinned exuberantly, holding my hand in his atop the gearshift as he sang along with me to whatever song just happened to be playing.

It was mindboggling to me how he managed to come across so carefree, especially with everything that was weighing him down. I knew he was still out of sorts a bit from having going off of the drugs, and I knew that the house and things with the Cullens bothered him a hell of a lot more than he was letting on.

But for whatever reason, he was happy, and I wasn't about to question it.

Unable to take _just _looking at him a second longer, I leaned over just slightly and tugged on his right arm simultaneously. I could see him glance at me out of the corner of his eyes briefly before leaning toward me a bit. Once he was close enough, I wound my arms tightly around his bicep and pressed my lips to skin in a series of kisses from his neck to his jaw, his chin, then finally his lips, him grinning against me, before I rested my head back on his shoulder.

"What was that for?" he murmured, turning down the stereo with the steering wheel controls.

"Do I have to have a reason other than I love you?" I questioned, opening my mouth against his shoulder and bearing my teeth down into his skin, not enough to hurt, but with enough force to get his blood going.

I could feel his eyes on me for a few moments, knowing that the wheels in his head were turning.

"So you have a thing for hot cars," he teased, lightly bumping me with his shoulder.

"No, I have a thing for fuckhot guys in fast cars," I corrected, my voice full of the desire I'd felt for him since having gotten into this fucking car.

He ran a hand over his face roughly as he groaned. "You're seriously pulling this shit right now?" he ground out, letting a small chuckle escape.

"I'm just speaking my mind. Besides, there's no way in hell you'll let me do what I really wanna do, so what's the point? I'm perfectly content to just be close."

"Okay, I know I'm going to fucking regret asking, but what is it that you're wanting to do, Doll?"

"Well, swallowing that beautiful cock of yours would be one," I began but was interrupted by him swerving sharply to the right, and tossing me to the other side of the car.

"Jesus fucking Christ! Bella, you can't say shit like that to me when I'm driving! And for future reference, beautiful is not an acceptable way to describe my dick. Manly, massive, hard…anything but fucking beautiful. And you better answer that, I'm sure its Charlie calling to set my ass straight."

"Shit," I sighed, grabbing my phone. "Yeah, Dad?"

"Hand the phone to Edward, Bells."

_Oh damn! _I whined in my head. He'd used his police voice on me, meaning one thing: he was pissed, and obviously not at Edward.

I passed my phone over to him, scowling at the shit-eating grin he was currently giving me. As soon as he grabbed it I went to pull away, but to my surprise, he didn't release my hand; nope, he just tugged me back toward him and craned his neck over to press a tender kiss to my lips, mouthing 'I love you' as he pulled away.

And I was officially turned to goo. God, I fucking loved that man, and hated him at the same time for how easily he could turn the tables on me.

As soon as he began talking, I turned my attention out the window and pretended to focus on the passing scenery, making sure I still paid attention to every word that was said.

"Charlie?" Edward answered. "What? Oh…No! Some big ass fucking bug flew in my face…Pussy? Shit, let's see how you react to one of those bastards coming at you, Chief," he laughed heartily, at which point I'd already turned my head because he'd actually lied and covered for me instead of throwing me under the bus. "Um…yeah, that sounds fine. So, when are you going to provide an escort? Damn, and here I was thinking it would be today. Whatever, bye."

With a sweet as sin grin, Edward handed my phone back to me, letting his sunglasses drop to the middle of his nose as he winked at me.

"You're welcome," he rasped , turning his attention away from me and focusing on the road.

"Yeah, well, your cock is still beautiful," I huffed, reaching for the cigarettes out of my purse and lighting one up as he first growled, and then cleared his throat expectantly.

"Uh, Doll, aren't you going to light one up for me?"

"Not until you say it," I taunted him.

"Say what?" he groaned with a shake of his head.

"You know what. And it's easy. All you have to say is four little words. My. Cock. Is. Beautiful."

"Fuck you," he laughed darkly.

Edward then made a quick move, attempting to snatch the pack out of my hands, but I saw him coming and quickly moved it out of his reach.

In reaction, he brought his fist to his mouth, biting down on his knuckles, turning my lady bits to dust. Damn, he had no idea what kind of power he held and I fucking hope to God he never figures that shit out.

"I know you want one," I purred before sucking in a heavy drag and moaning as I exhaled.

"Bella, I love you, but you can be such a bitch sometimes," he bit out as took a deep breath. "Fine. Fucking fine! My cock is fucking beautiful…you happy now?"

"Not quite yet," I smirked in what I hoped was a sexy way as I pulled my shorts away from my body and started to drop the pack in, but my hand was stopped short by his iron grip.

"You don't want to push me, right now, baby, you've already tested my limits and what you just had me fucking say was a hard one."

I knew just from the tone of his voice that he wasn't fucking around. He was dead serious, but I loved that he'd actually caved and gave into me. He may have been pissed, but I also knew that he'd only given in to appease me, because if he didn't want to say it, he fucking wouldn't have. He was just as stubborn as I was.

The next hour or so passed in silence except for the few moments where we had each had to bat huge ass bugs out of our faces. Apparently that was karma for the lie he'd told Charlie.

His hand had resumed its task of lacing with mine above the gearshift once again, and the stereo had gone from low volume back to blasting AC/DC as loud as it would go.

The pain in my stomach was beginning to flare up, meaning that the effects of the ibuprofen from this morning had started to wear off. That, but I was also fucking starving, so yeah…that didn't help.

Another thirty minutes after the discomfort settled in, Edward muted the stereo and turned his eyes to me.

"Doll? You okay?" he questioned, concern laced in his voice. "Shit, you didn't think I really mad at you, did you?"

"No, it's not that, baby," I told him, lifting my eyes to meet his as he'd removed his shades minutes ago.

"What is it?"

"Did you happen to put my ibuprofen in my purse?"

Then it dawned on him and his features softened to sympathetic. "No, I didn't because it's in _my_ bag. I'm the only one allowed to administer your medication, Ms. Swan," he murmured, lust saturating his tone.

"Well, Casanova, when will we hit the next town? I'm starving and I desperately need that fucking medicine."

"Hand me your phone, Doll," he told me , slowing down a bit.

I did as he said and watched as he found Charlie on my recent calls list.

"Hey, we need to stop. Bella's starting to feel the pain, we're starving, and I need to piss like a fucking racehorse. Where's the next stop? Okay…okay…yeah, so you want us to just meet you there? Okay, sounds good."

"Well?" I asked once he'd hung up and handed it back to me.

"Charlie said that there's an Olive Garden a few exits past the gas station. We're going to go so I can fill up and buy cigs and what not so you and I won't have to stop again, and then we're going to meet him at the restaurant. That sound okay with you?"

"Fuck yes…finally I get a moment alone with you."

His brow arched skeptically at that as he alternated looking from to the road and back again. "Don't you go getting any wild ideas. We're meeting him, dammit, and if I have to, I'll have him follow us to the gas station on the grounds that I don't feel safe with you."

"And yet you were calling _me _a bitch?" I exclaimed with a laugh. "By the way, you're lucky you're driving… I let you get away with that shit."

"I know. Why do you think I said it? I knew there wasn't shit you could do about it."

I couldn't not laugh at him. He was just too fucking adorable with the way he was smirking at me and kissing the knuckles of the hand he held in his.

How in the _hell _was I going to make it six fucking weeks without having him inside me? Without having any release at all?

I had a feeling I fucking wasn't.

**EPOV**

I don't know what the hell Charlie was using as a guide on this damn interstate, but if it was a fucking GPS, he needed that bitch updated or replaced.

What was supposed to have been another thirty minutes, turned into a damn hour and a half. I had offered to pull over and give Bella her medicine several times but she just kept on saying she could wait.

Fuck, I hated making her wait in pain, but truth was, I needed my medicine too—no, not that one. I mean, yeah, I'd skin a bitch for a damn fix right now just to kill the aches and pain that were ripping through my body at a constant pace, but the medicine I was referring to was the Clonidine. It would help take the edge off, making it at least bearable.

I tried to keep the way I was really feeling under wraps as best I could as I didn't want to stress Bella or Charlie out, and to be honest, I think I was doing a damn good job of it, but I wasn't sure how much more I could take.

The past couple of days had been one huge clusterfuck of fucked up and I really hadn't had any time to process it all. Neither had Bella, and while it all centered on me specifically, she was now a permanent fixture to my life and therefore, what affected me did her too.

The only real conclusion I'd come to was that I didn't trust Jasper. Some of what he'd said made sense, but I now believed he was behind the fire just as much as Alice had been. In fact, the y—the family—could all fuck off. The only ones I wasn't a hundred percent sure about were Emmett, Rose, and the boys. I couldn't think of a single reason why Jasper would tell me that Emmett had dropped the restraining order that prevented me from having any interaction with my nephews. There was nothing that he, Aro, Carlisle, or any of the other fuckers had to gain from that.

Maybe tonight, Bella would be able to take over driving and allow me to text Emmett, try to feel him out.

I wasn't saying that I was ready to forgive or even that I wanted a goddamn reunion, but I needed to hear what he had to say. And I couldn't really explain it either. I wanted to tell them all to go to hell, but through it all, ever since I'd read the text messages on Bella's phone, there was something about Emmett all together that just kept nagging at me. And no, I hadn't expressed any of this to Bella yet.

In truth, I had no idea how she'd react. But one thing I knew for sure was that she would support me no matter what.

And speaking of Bella…

How the fuck does she get slashed by a goddamn knife in the stomach and still manage to tease the ever living fuck out of me?

Even better question, how the hell was I supposed to turn her beautiful ass down the next time she pleaded with me to get her off, or let her get _me _off? Seriously! The woman was a damn force to be reckoned with.

Which leads me to my next point: beautiful.

If any of you fuckers ever repeat that I called my own fucking dick beautiful, I hunt your asses down and gut you.

That shit was not funny, but alas, it was my sex kitten of a girlfriend that asked me too, and I really needed a damn cigarette.

I wonder if Bella had happened to see me hand Charlie two packs of cigs as we loaded up the cars this morning.

My guess was no because I'd have for sure heard all about it by now. Yeah, my baby doll would have been all over my fucking ass for that shit.

"Baby, here," Bella's soft voice sounded out.

I glanced over at her to see that in her hand was two small, round , orange pills—the Clonidine.

"What's it doing in your purse? I had it in my bag," I asked her, amazed that she'd even fucking realized that I needed one.

"I figured you'd need some at one point or another. Figured it was just more convenient for you if I carried them in my purse."

I smiled at her, always amazed at her consideration for me…always thinking of me and what I needed. Yet, I couldn't even fucking remember to put her goddamn ibuprofen in the car, and she'd just been fucking stapled shut! God, I needed to get a fucking grip.

Wanting to mess with her a little, I stuck my tongue out, but she obviously wasn't having that.

I watched, my pants rapidly growing tighter, as she placed both pills on her tongue and leaned toward me with a wink. Oh, she was evil.

And I fucking loved that shit.

I quickly looked out all mirrors and windows, making sure nothing was around us before leaning over and hungrily taking her tongue into my mouth, twisting, sliding, and thoroughly tasting. As it always did, her hand fisted in my hair, but as I pulled away with a nip at her top lip, she let go and moaned.

Hell, I think we both did. I could spend forever and a fucking day kissing that woman. She'd become like another addiction to me.

As she sighed and twisted open the lid to my Gatorade, I took the opportunity to adjust the ridiculous problem in my pants. It just so happened that as she turned to hand me the drink, she caught me palming myself roughly.

I was her swallow rather harshly and her eyes cloud over with lust and desire, but I couldn't give in. There was shit I could do about it.

For now.

I quickly took a drink and then handed it back to her, kissing her on the cheek right as we finally came up on the fucking gas station.

I threw the car into park and turned to Bella. "You staying or coming with me?" I asked, bringing my hand up to caress her cheek.

She softly smiled and turned her face into my palm, lightly kissing it. "I'll go with you."

Pressing a light kiss to her forehead, I leaned over her, unbuckling her seat belt and then pushed her door open.

"And here I was thinking that a gentleman always walked around the car to let his lady out," she mumbled with an amused gleam in her eye.

"True, but you Ms. Swan, are no lady. You're pure evil," I told her flatly, earning a smack to the arm as I laughed, exiting the car and finally stretching my legs.

Pain radiated down my back and legs, but thankfully, the fucking Clonidine would take effect soon.

***~C&B~***

As I'm sure you probably guessed by now, we wound up spending a good thirty minutes outside of that damned gas station. As had happened the last time, my method of giving her the meds had ignited yet another fire in both of us, and before I knew it, I'd pinned Bella to the side of the fucking car.

We'd literally stood there and made out like fucking teenagers, dry humping for the world and everyone to see. All I can say is thank fuck Charlie had gone ahead to the restaurant because had he have witnessed our little display, we'd both be in some deep shit and rather heavy, steel undergarments.

And as I said before, fuck that shit.

Once we'd righted ourselves, and only after, we made our way to Olive Garden.

Honestly, I couldn't remember when the last time—if ever—I'd gone to an Olive Garden, but it was sure to beat the hell out of McDonald's or any other fast food joint that we'd passed on the interstate. Though, I would have preferred a hot, home cooked meal from my beautiful girl instead.

When we walked in, Bella immediately spotted Charlie, sat in one of the booths on the outer edge of the wall to the right. His fucking 'stache was twitching as he eyeballed the shit out of us.

"He's going to fucking eat us alive, Doll," I whispered low enough for only her to hear.

"Chill the fuck out. If you act as though nothing is amiss, it'll drop. But right now, this whole fear of God thing you've got going on, it's sure to get us caught," she murmured back.

Almost as soon as we sat down, a waiter approached the table, handing us menus and asking what we wanted to drink. I knew they served wine here, and I would've fucking gone for it too, but Bella opted for Dr. Pepper, and remembering what I'd said in regards to her drinking, I decided to follow her route and got one as well.

"So, did you guys take a wrong turn or something? What the hell took so long?" Charlie questioned.

Damn, he didn't waste fucking time, did he?

"Well, Dad, first, we had to rifle through Edward's suitcase for my medication…you know, for the wound on my stomach?" Bella snapped.

Feeling that this was instantly heading down a bad road, I placed my hand on her knee and gave it a squeeze. "We finally found it, but as I told you on the phone, I needed the bathroom. Only problem, there was one stall and a line of about five fucking truckers in front of me. Plus I had to get gas. And by the way, you might want to look into getting your GPS, maps, phone, or whatever updated or replaced because that was the longest thirty minutes I've ever driven in my life," I laughed as Charlie stared for a moment then bowed his head.

I could tell from the trembling in his shoulders that he was laughing.

"Why don't you kids tell me how you really feel?" he laughed.

"Sorry, Dad," Bella started, "but you've been jumping at us every chance you get, thinking that we're constantly up to something. Can't blame me for going on the defense."

"And I guess you're going to sit here and tell me, looking me in the eye, that you two have done nothing to give me reason to assume you've been up to…stuff," he said gruffly, his eyes immediately darting to the dessert menu at the center of the table.

"So, what's good here?" I said aloud to no one in particular, secretly hoping that the conversation would move to something else…and fucking fast.

"Barnes called while I was on the road," Charlie told us, taking a drink from his iced tea.

Well that got my fucking attention. Suddenly, Bella's hand was covering and squeezing mine atop her knee. "And?" she asked.

"Then sent in a few DEA agents to scope out Carlisle's place late last night. From what they saw, Aro and Laurent's men are definitely holding everyone inside the house. There was no sign of Emmett, Rose, the boys, or Esme, but their cars were there. They're going to continue running surveillance from the shadows, but as of right now, it would prove too risky to attempt a negotiation or put together any form of an operation. As soon as they learn more and have assessed the situation, Barnes will call and let me know what we need to do."

"And why the hell can't they take them out right now?" Bella said a little too loudly. "What? They're waiting for us to be better so they can send us in as their fucking bait?"

I leaned over, placing my mouth against her ear. "Doll, you're making a scene. Try to calm down, okay? We can talk about this later."

"Bells, I know how fucked up this whole thing is, but it's out of my hands. I've done the best that I can do. You'll have a secure house out in Lacassine, guarded full time by the New Orleans branch of the DEA. Of course, you'll never see them, but you've got to know that you'll be protected. Both of you. I wouldn't let anything happen. You know that," Charlie answered with a sigh.

"Dad, I just don't understand why they're so damn adamant about sending Edward and I in. I mean, why can't we tell them all they need to know and let them do their fucking job? Why is it falling on us? I can deal with the protection detail and all that shit, but I'm not okay with them putting us in danger, and quite frankly, I can't believe you are either."

"Okay, Charlie, Bella, can we please deal with this when we get to Louisiana, for fuck's sake? I've dealt with this shit for the better half of the week, and honestly, I just want to eat, get in the car and get the fuck to Louisiana," I boomed, losing my cool.

I just couldn't fucking handle it. And I knew that my agitation and short fuse was due to the lack of drugs and my body's desperate craving for it.

"Shit, I'm sorry, I…"

"No, Edward. Son, you don't have to apologize. You're right. I should've waited to bring it up. Ah hell, Bells, what are you having?"

"Well, I really want the Tour of Italy, but I don't think I could eat it all," she laughed, cutting her eyes over to me every once in a while.

"If that's what you want, Doll, I'll share it with you," I offered, my voice low as I kept my gaze fixed on the cardboard coaster beneath my water, the condensation from the glass saturating it.

"Jesus Christ, you two don't stop, do you?" Charlie guffawed.

"Hey, Charlie, when was the last time you got fucking laid?" I questioned, causing Bella to spit out her water and Charlie to choke on the breadstick he'd just stuck in his mouth.

Bella's gaze turned to me, her face red as hell as she brought her hand to her mouth, struggling to hold in laughter while Charlie glared at me, his face damn near purple.

"What the _fuck _did you just say? You think I need to get laid? Why? Because I have a problem with my recent habit of catching my baby girl bumpin' uglies with her all too accommodating boyfriend?"

"Dad, back off. He wasn't thinking before he spoke…he's just defensive right now. Edward, do us both a favor and shut the fuck up," she growled, giving me her famous bitch brow. "Now, if you two are done acting like fucking three year olds, can we please order and attempt to salvage this disaster of a dinner?"

Shit.

Now Charlie and I both were in the fucking doghouse.

We exchanged looks across the table, instantly seeing the comedy in what just happened, but for the sake of saving each other from Bella ramming her foot in our asses, we kept our laughter to ourselves.

If this was what I had to look forward to living with them, then I was in for a very interesting and eventful change of pace for the next month.

And I welcomed it with open fucking arms.

**I can't even...UGH! This Edward is killing me LOL!**

**The next chapter will find us with a bit of the heavy in the form of Edward touching base with Emmett. **

**Beyond that, we'll jump time a bit to them getting settled in Louisiana.**

**Leave some love!**

**Also, here are a few recs ;)**

**In Pursuit by Sarge's Girls- **US Marshallward...need I say more?

**Reconnecting Roads by MidnightLove87- **seriously one of the sweetest yet heartwrenching fics I've read!

**Salacious by cutestkidsmom- **One of the best fics I've read. AMAZING!

**And I'll have to get back to you on the other ones...I can't seem to find the rest of my list with the author's pennames LOL!**


	41. Chapter 39

**I'm actually nervous for you guys to read this one :/**

**I'll leave you to it and meet you at the bottom!**

**EPOV**

"Dammit, Bella…_NO!" _I argued, blocking her path to the driver's side door.

"I was fucking cut, Edward; I'm not an invalid!" she shouted back.

For the past fifteen minutes and the last ten minutes of our dinner, Bella had been fighting me tooth and nail, pleading to drive the fucking Camaro on this next stretch.

Charlie and I had already decided before she ever brought it up that we were going to drive as far as we fucking could without passing out before we stopped for the night. And even after we clued her in to that fact, she still wouldn't relent. It wasn't that I didn't trust her driving because I did. I just didn't want her overexerting herself; I knew her better than she thought, and if she began to get tired, she wouldn't fucking tell me. She'd hold it in and put up a tough front so as not to come across as weak.

Yeah, I know…we were more alike than I cared to fucking admit. Shut the hell up.

"I never fucking said you were! Jesus Christ, Bella! You need to rest. Excuse me for trying to make it easier on you!" I growled, thrusting my hand into my hair and averting my eyes as I caught sight of Charlie laughing his fucking ass off in his cruiser across the lot.

Bastard.

I coyly flipped him the bird as I scratched at my head, moving my eyes back to Bella, his laugh loud enough to be heard all the way over here.

"Easier on me?! Right. Edward, you're still going through fucking detox and withdrawals. Need I remind you that you're still at risk for seizuring? You want to play fucking hard ball about this shit, then come on. Is it really so damn hard to let me drive for a few hours at least?" she fought, her voice softening with defeat at the end.

"For a few hours?" I questioned. "You don't want to drive the whole stretch?"

"Baby, if I had to or you needed me to, then yeah, I'd drive the whole stretch, but I know you're worried about me falling asleep or feeling too much pain. I just…dammit, Cullen, I've never driven one of these before and I don't know…I thought I'd give you a break for a few hours. Besides, you're not the only one worried. But whatever, you drive," she sighed, finally turning away from me and starting to walk back around to her side.

"Doll?" I called out, watching her stop in front of the hood. When her eyes lifted to mine, I called her over with a come hither motion of my finger.

Charlie was never going to let me live this one down; I was one whipped, pussified son of a bitch. Literally.

When she stood before me once again, I pulled her flush against me, hooking a finger under her chin and lifting her face to mine and pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose. "I don't want to fight with you, you know that. If I do this, you have to promise me that you'll tell me when and if you feel that the pain or fatigue is becoming too much, okay? You know I trust you, I just…"

"Love me," she murmured smugly. "I know, Eddie. I love you too. Now," she smiled, "give me the fucking keys."

Her hand shot out to snatch them from my hand, but I swiftly moved them out of her reach. "Ah ah ah…I'll give them to you, but you're fucking crazy if you think I'm doing so without getting a kiss first."

Not even a second had passed before she twirled her fingers in the hair at the back of my neck and crushed her lips to mine, seeking out my tongue with her own.

The blaring of Charlie's horn sounded out in the background, but we could have cared less.

However, the passion of our kiss came to an end when I felt Bella lift her arm and caught sight of her flipping him the bird. Our laughter broke through the lusty haze that was building, and soon enough, Bella was backing us out of the lot and back on to the interstate.

***~C&B~***

Sometime later, I'd asked Bella for her phone, still debating whether I wanted to text Emmett or not. I needed to know if the feeling in my gut about him was right or not. However, at the same time, I didn't know whether it was safe and secure to use her phone; didn't know if Aro and Laurent were tracking it.

"You've been staring at my phone for a while now, baby. What's on your mind?" Bella questioned beside me, her hand moving from the gearshift to rest over my hand that wrapped around her inner thigh, my fingers tucked beneath it.

"I've been thinking about texting Emmett, trying to feel him out. Doll, I don't know what to do. My gut tells me that I need to hear Emmett out; that he's the only one I should try and talk to, but I…fuck. It's stupid, right? I can't believe…I let that son of a bitch get to me!"

"Hey," she barked out, grasping my chin tightly in her hand. "It's not stupid, Edward. You've dealt with more shit in the past week than anyone should ever have to go through. To be honest, if I had to put faith in anyone out of your fucked up family, it would be Emmett and Rose. If it hadn't been for him, I never would have shown up at your front door."

"His comment on the text, saying you fucking owed him…was he referring to his helping you find me?"

"I think so," she answered. "Baby, just do what it is you think you need to do. If you want to text him, do it."

I sighed, knowing that in order to get through this and not shut down on her, I needed to talk things out. Like Charlie had said. "You won't see me as weak?" I asked quietly.

Suddenly, the car jerked to the shoulder of the road and came to an abrupt stop.

Bella turned to me, her eyes growing misty. "How could possibly think that? After everything we'd shared, everything I've done for you?" she questioned, her voice strained with emotion. "Edward, I may think you a lot of things, but weak will _never _fucking be one of them. You understand me?"

"If not weak, then what do I call it, Doll?" I whispered. "After everything they've done to me, how else can I explain the need to fucking talk to them? Why would I even fucking consider it?!"

"Because despite all they've done, you're still the amazing man underneath with a heart full of unconditional love; despite everything you've learned, he's still your brother, and they're still your nephews. No one can hold it against you for wanting to know the truth; for wanting to know exactly what and how he feels now that the truth about what happened a few years ago is out."

"Come here," I pleaded, needing to feel her soft lips against mine; needing a taste to quench the anxiety within me. She was the only one—my one drug that could stop the pain inside. I only wished I'd found her sooner.

With a sympathetic smile, she leaned over toward me, gently kissing me, like she knew exactly what I'd needed before I even had the chance to tell her.

Her phone began to ring, causing us to pull apart and her lips to lightly press against my forehead.

"Yeah?" she said, answering the call. "Everything is okay, Dad. Edward just had a bit of a moment. Hey, would you say it's safe for Edward to use my phone? Because he's going to text Emmett. He wants to, Dad; he'll be fine, he just needs answers. So, you don't think anyone is tracking my phone or anything?"

How the fuck did she know what I was thinking?

I watched in amazement as she ended the call and then gave the phone back to me.

"What?" she asked, skepticism in her eyes.

"How'd you know I was worried about the phone being tracked?" I questioned, looking her over.

"Because, Edward, you're just as aware as I am of how sick these fuckers are. Besides, it's written all over you, baby," she winked, leaned over, and kissed my cheek before easing the car back onto the interstate.

I sucked in a deep breath and entered her passcode, opening up her text messages, immediately seeing Emmett's name.

I looked over at Bella to find her giving me a reassuring smile as she reached over to lace her fingers through those of my left hand.

Sucking in a deep breath, I opened it up and stared at the blinking cursor in the message box, hoping to hell that I didn't fucking regret what I was about to do.

**EmPOV**

"Remind me again why it was that you gave that bitch his address?" my mother viciously spat, sitting on a wooden crate in the corner of the dark and musty basement.

Shortly after the man they called Aro showed up, three drugged up psychos threw me, Rosie, and my mother down to the basement and we'd been locked in here for a day and a half now.

Thank God there was a bathroom in here.

They'd tried to give us food, but I wouldn't dare touch it, and neither would Rosie. The lord only fucking knows what they may or may not have put in it, and not only that, the truth that had been revealed over the past few days left me with little desire to eat. I was mostly sick to my stomach.

"Dammit, mom, she wanted to see him, and you know, you fucking blaming this shit on Edward is ridiculous. Have you even stopped to think about what all we learned? Have you even realized exactly what it is we've done?!" I angrily bit out as Rosie came over, placing her hand on my forearm in a soothing manner. "No, of course you don't because you've spent the past few years covering up for the real bastard in all of this shit. I let you, Alice, and Dad fucking brainwash me! I stuck by the wrong fucking person in all of this and now, it's too fucking late. There isn't shit I can do about it. He won't talk to me.

"But there is something that I want to know: how long have you known about Alice's addiction? And don't you dare sit there and tell me that you didn't know because it's bullshit. There's no way that Dad was able to keep all of this shit from you. That's why you've always seemed indifferent in all of this shit, isn't it?" I questioned, an epiphany falling from my lips.

"Just like that?" Mom mused, her voice no more than a whisper. "You turn your back on us that easily? Emmett, wh…"

"You're damn straight I will," I shouted, feeling my chin quiver. "After all, it what's I'm good at; I mean, look how fast I fucked my own brother over."

"Em, come on, baby. You need to breathe. This isn't your fault," my wife, Rosie, murmured into my ear, pulling me into a far corner of the room.

It seemed that's all I'd done the past day or so was cry and put myself through hell, thinking back over all the wrong I'd done, how severely I'd hurt and betrayed my brother, the man I knew would have done anything for me and my family if I'd just asked. My heart was shattered and as it was, I fucking hated myself.

Why hadn't I tried harder to help him?

Why hadn't I taken the time to check on him, see how he was really doing?

And why, for the love of fucking God, why had I never shown him the same respect and asked him for his side of what fucking happened with Kate?

God, that bitch! I was so full of anger and hate. I can't believe that I'd actually believed the words that flowed from Alice and Dad's mouths in regard to her and Edward.

Bella-God bless her—had been right. If I'd just taken the damn time to look at everything that had happened from the moment Edward met Kate to the time she died and he was pinned for the murder, I would have seen that nothing had ever made sense. Nothing fucking added up. And it sure as hell didn't fit with the loving nature of the brother I once knew.

"Em, honey, your phone is vibrating," Rosie told me as she shook my shoulder, shaking me from my thoughts.

I pulled my phone from my pocket and felt my heart stop. Illuminated on my phone was Bella's phone number, only…it wasn't her texting me.

**First, let me just say that Bella doesn't owe you for shit. Now, what do you want?—E **

**Ed?—Emmett**

**So, we're back to that? I can't remember the last time you called me that.—E**

**Are you okay? Where are you?—Emmett**

**On the road. I think we've got more important things to talk about. Don't you?—E**

**Can I call you?—Emmett**

**Who's there with you?—E**

**Shit. Some dude named Aro and his goons have me, Rosie, and our bitch mother locked in the fucking basement. I don't know what they're waiting for or when we're getting out.—Emmett**

**Don't call. Most likely someone is standing post at the door, listening to everything. And don't talk like that about Mom. She may not give a damn about me but she's been nothing but good to you and your family.—E**

**I don't care, Ed. I know you probably won't believe me, but I swear to you; I didn't know anything about all that they were covering up. I'm so fucking sorry, Edward. Sorry isn't even enough. I don't expect forgiveness. I just…I want to make things right with you. For you.—Emmett**

**So, you didn't know about my paternity? The fact that Carlisle isn't my father?—E **

**Fuck. Okay, I knew about that part, but that's it. I hadn't realized that Charlie had already relayed that information. If you ever believe anything from me, believe this: You ARE my brother, Edward, in all the ways that matter. I may have done a really fucking shitty job of showing it the past few years, but that fact has never changed. I found out the truth to your paternity before everything happened, and I promise, I didn't keep it from you maliciously. I kept it only because I knew what it would do to you and I didn't want to hurt you. I know, it's fucking hard to believe coming from me, especially after everything I've done to you.—Emmett**

**I mean it, Ed, are you really okay?—Emmett**

I pressed send, scrubbing my hand over my face furiously, rubbing away my tears as my shoulders shook. He was talking to me. Granted, it wasn't saying much, but it was something none the less and I would be forever grateful for that. Hell, I didn't even deserve this much.

**I'm clean if that's what you're asking. Hurt like hell, but Bella and Charlie are helping me through. Where are the boys?—E**

**Rosie and I left them with her parents. I've already texted to let them know that something came up, but that we'd be back as soon as we could. That's IF we even make it out of here. I know you don't owe me a damn thing, but do you think that you could possibly call and check on them for me?—Emmett**

**Oh, and about your sobriety, that's great, man. I'm proud of you…really am.—Emmett**

A few minutes passed before my phone rung out. Without even looking, I answered.

"Yeah?" I asked, my voice thick with emotion as I sniffled.

"You're fucking crying?"

A voice I'd know from anywhere spoke out…a voice that, like my own, was full of emotion.

"Ed?" I cried, making sure to keep my voice low.

"You want me to call and check on the boys? What the hell happened to the restraining order you had against me?" he sobbed. My brother, the one we'd shunned for so long, was sobbing over the simple request from me for him to call my boys.

Jesus, what the fuck have I done?

"I had it removed. I know it isn't much, but it was the first thing I thought to do in order to try and right my wrongs. I never should've kept you from them. I just want you to know that I was fucking blindsided by all this shit the night Charlie stopped by. I swear to you, I didn't know shit about any of this. I've been so fucking stupid," I cried. "I let them brainwash me, man, and I sat there and fucking let them do it without a second thought. Even Rosie tried making me see reason back then, but I was so blinded by everything being fed to me that I just didn't listen. I wish like hell I would have been stronger. I wish I'd have gone to you and asked for your side."

"Em, how the hell am I supposed to just trust your word? Jasper spouted all the same bullshit last night when he and Alice were found burning down one of my homes."

"One of your…shit, it was the house that Charlie and Bella used to live in, wasn't it?"

"You were in on that shit?!" he roared on the other side of the line.

Oh my god, this was so much fucking worse than I thought. The depth to which he'd been betrayed and hurt by myself and the rest of the imbeciles I called family was so extensive, I wasn't sure that it was even fucking possible to rekindle our relationship.

"Fuck," I sighed aloud. "Of course I wasn't, Ed. I know I've betrayed you and have given you no reason to trust me, but I had nothing to do with that shit. No matter how angry I was at you, I'd never have done that. And as for Jasper, don't believe a fucking word he says. That son of a bitch is working with Alice, and as I'm sure you probably know, she's working with Aro and his goons," I told him, then thought of something. "Ed, this Aro guy…is he?"

"Yeah, it's him, but he's fucking after Bella, Emmett. I'm not turning her over."

Suddenly, I knew what I had to do. It was something I'd never have dreamed of two weeks ago, but now, knowing the truth as I did, it was all there was.

"What do you need, Ed? What can I do?" I questioned, my voice strong.

"What do you mean?"

"Look, I'm being fucking holed up in this basement. Rose is miserable, my kids need me, and I owe it to you. Whatever I can do to help end all of this shit, let me know."

"So, if I were to give you Charlie and the DEA agent's numbers, you'd call them and relay everything?" he asked, confusion and shock in his voice.

"Yes," I answered without a second of hesitation.

"And if they asked you to testify against Aro, Carlisle, Alice…"

"I'd do it," I whispered. "Like I said, you have no reason to trust me, but I'm sorry, Edward. I'll make these past few years up to you in any way I can. And even though this probably isn't what you want to hear, these past two years, even when I seemed like I despised you, when I belittled and humiliated you, I _never _stopped caring. I've said horrible things to and about you, and for that I apologize. I'm sorry, and I'm not making excuses, but you've got to understand what I was facing. The strain with wanting to try and help you while fighting with Alice, Mom, and Dad, and then attempting to stay on top of our finances and work…I just couldn't keep up. You're my brother, and I love you, man. Paternity doesn't mean shit to me. When Bella told me…when she said that you'd almost killed yourself the other night…it was a big fucking wake-up call to me, Ed. Learning the truth just further confirmed what I was already feeling inside. If you decide you don't want us—me, Rosie, and the boys—to have any part of your life, I'll respect your wishes and leave you and Bella be. But know, that if you ever find it in yourself to want to try and repair the damage I've done, I'm here," I bawled, pouring my heart out to him.

I heard a strangled, tortured sounding cry on the other end followed by some shuffling.

"Em," Bella spoke firmly. "I think it would be best if you just give him some time. He can't take much more right now, okay? He'll text or call when he's ready, okay?"

"Bella?" I cried out, tearfully, hearing Edward's sobs in the background.

"Yeah?" she sighed.

"Tell him I'm sorry, and that I love him…please? And if you can, text me Charlie and the DEA's numbers. I'm going to fix and end this shit."

"Okay, Em. I gotta go."

I waited until I heard her hang up before dropping my head between my knees and letting hell wash over me. If this was even the smallest bit like anything Edward had experienced the past few years, I didn't know he'd made it. And for once, I could actually fucking see why he'd gone for the fucking drugs.

I'd have done the same thing.

**This chapter basically wrote itself. **

**ESPECIALLY when Edward and Emmett began talking.**

**So...what did you think? **

**I'll have the next chapter up as soon as I can. Hopefully by Friday. Otherwise, it'll be up on Monday night.**

**Family coming in *eyeroll***

**Can you tell I'm excited?**

**Leave some love!**

**T**


	42. Chapter 40

**Sorry for the delay but due to the tornadoes and devastation in Oklahoma, it's taken a while to get this out. **

**I won't keep you...Hope you enjoy!**

**BPOV**

It had been forty-five minutes since the call with Emmett had ended, and Edward was in no better shape now than he was when the line had gone dead.

My beautiful man sat beside, head slumped against the window and buried in his hand, his body shaking violently from sobs that relentlessly wracked through his body. He'd yet to utter a single word, and honestly, I didn't expect him to. As it was, the best I could offer was to hold his other hand tightly in my own and rub soothing circles over it with my thumb.

I knew that he needed this bit of silence to take it all in, and that when he was ready to talk about it, he would.

What I was struggling with was the urge to call Charlie and ask him for a few minutes on the shoulder of the road so I could at least pull Edward into my arms and hold him.

Right now, I felt completely helpless to him.

And if the conversation that he'd had with Emmett had been anything like what he'd asked me to tell Edward, then I totally understood the reason my man was so choked up.

I was, too, but mine was more or less because it broke my heart to see how much his brother's words had affected him. How much he'd needed to hear them.

My phone began ringing from the cup holder, and glancing down at it, I saw that it was Charlie. Speak of the fucking devil.

I pulled Edward's hand toward my mouth, pressing a soft kiss against his knuckles before releasing it and picking up my phone.

"Yeah?"

"Bells, Barnes just called me. I guess Edward talked to Emmett?"

"Why? What happened?"

"Emmett put in a call to the DEA. Apparently, he gave them the rundown on what's going on inside the home and confirmed that Aro and his men are holding them there. Barnes is getting a team together based on the information provided by Emmett, but the shocker is that Emmett wants to come forth with all he knows in regard to Alice and Carlisle, and the shit that's gone on for the past few years."

"Well, I'm assuming that's what he told Edward on the phone, but we haven't really talked about it. I was giving him some time. Why are you telling me all of this now?"

"If they manage to take down Aro and his crew tonight, you and Edward won't be forced into going undercover, Bells. This could be a good thing and work in your favor."

"Dad, even if they do, that means they'll only be getting Aro. Meaning Laurent will still be out there and it's him that's fucking after me. Besides, even if Emmett is on our side, if Aro's men are holding them, then they're probably all being kept in the same room, and so far, Emmett is the only one that we know of who's on Edward's side. Who's to say that Esme won't feed news of Emmett's plan back to Aro? If she's still against us and holds Edward responsible for Carlisle's arrest, then she'll stop at nothing to make us pay for the havoc we've wreaked in the past twenty-four hours."

"According to Barnes, Emmett is positive she won't breathe a word of it. Barnes assumes that he threatened her against it somehow, but who's to say. All I'm focusing on is the possibility that you two kids won't have to go under. How is Edward, anyway?"

I glanced over to see him glancing out the window, his cries having slowed. "Not too hot, but he'll be all right, Dad."

"Do we need to stop for a minute?"

"As much as I want to, we shouldn't be stopping so often. It takes long enough to drive down as it is, we don't need to add to it."

"Dammit Bells, quit being stubborn. I need to piss, so we're stopping at the next exit."

"Was it _really _necessary to tell me that?" I cringed.

"Yeah, about as necessary as it was for you to fool around in the back of my cruiser."

"Touche, old man," I laughed before hanging up.

Fucking Charlie.

"What's going on?" Edward questioned quietly, eyes still focused out the window.

"We're stopping at the next exit so Charlie can piss, apparently."

"Not that. I meant, why did he call?"

"Baby…" I began, not wanting to bring this up with him right now, knowing that it would only upset him further.

"Dammit, Bella. Don't start treating me like I'm made of fucking glass. That'll just piss me the fuck off. Now, why the fuck did Charlie call?"

Knowing full well that I wasn't 'treating him like glass' as he had put it, and that he _was, _in fact, taking whatever frustrations he had at the moment out on me, I reached over and turned the stereo off before turning my eye on him.

"First off, I'm going to let the fact that you're lashing out at me slide because I think you deserve to be cut at least a little slack. Second, excuse the fuck out of me for trying to stave off the heavy shit for a while longer. Besides, it wasn't anything bad. He was just telling me that Emmett called Barnes and is fully cooperating. He's giving them everything he has on Alice, and Carlisle. And apparently, he's threatened your mother against warning Aro."

Obviously, the way he'd gotten to me had come through in my words pretty clearly because he didn't say anything for a good ten to fifteen minutes after I spoke.

And when he did, his voice had cracked and he'd reached for my hand with his own unsteadily.

"Doll," Edward breathed, his voice pained.

"Don't. Don't apologize. There's no…"

"Stop doing that shit," he groaned. "Doll, please. You've got to let me apologize to you. Stop making excuses for me. Every once in a while might be okay, and I could even understand and see why you may have done it in the beginning, but dammit, you don't have to do that all the time. And fuck, Bella, you shouldn't have to. Yeah, I'm fucked up, okay? You and I both know that," he laughed dryly. "But that's no fucking reason for me to be lashing out at you or for me to be acting the way I have in some instances. And when I do, I don't want you saying it's okay. If I try to apologize, for the love of all that's fucking holy, _let me…please_."

Wow, well…

I certainly couldn't say I'd seen that coming.

I sighed and blew a heavy breath from between my lips as my grip tightened and readjusted around the steering wheel.

His gaze still lingered upon me from the passenger seat, that much I knew because I could feel it. And I knew…I just knew he was waiting on me to say something, but really…what was there for me to say?

"What? Now you're going to be pissed at me?" he asked exasperatedly beside me.

I cut my eyes to the side quickly to see his hand slice through his hair nervously. "No. Not pissed. I guess I just didn't realize that you were feeling so…smothered. That's all," I answered quietly.

Edward cursed quietly under his breath, but it was no matter because I still heard him.

"Bella, baby, listen to me, because I'm going to say this as gently and calmly as I can for how worked up I fucking am right now, okay?"

I nodded, making sure I met eyes with him briefly, though I wasn't entirely sure how much faith I could put into what was about to be said because he was still extremely upset, detoxing, and we were both tired as hell.

"It's not that you're smothering me, because you're not; I swear. It's just, I need to make my own decisions, Doll, and lately, I've been doing less and less of that. Ever since you've come back into my life, and please don't fucking take this the wrong way, I've been told who's right and who's wrong, what to think about who, what and why…and I just…dammit, I need to be able to think for me. I need you to trust me to make the right decisions for myself. And I hope that I'm wording this in a way that doesn't hurt you, though I'm sure I've probably failed and fucked up at that already too…"

Suddenly, my stomach felt sick.

There was so much that had changed lately, and most were decisions that had been made by myself and Charlie. What if Edward really wasn't on board with any of it?

What if we were forcing him into a life he wasn't really ready for?

A life he didn't want?

This was something that I needed to figure out and figure out now, no matter how much it might hurt me.

I could see the next exit coming up, and could feel Edward's waiting eyes on me.

"Jesus, Edward, is there anything that you feel you've made a decision about? I mean this, this trip…this temporary move to Louisiana…is that something you want, or do you feel like we're forcing you into it? All of this shit…how do I know how much of it was all me and Charlie's over controlling nature's versus what you were truly on board with?" I questioned, just into open space. Not even directly at him.

And even as I parked the car next to the pump at the gas station, I was still rattling off shit aloud in the car while Edward sat and held in head in his hands, but it was my last ruse that caused my stomach to plummet and his eyes to widen in fear.

"Oh God…Edward…this…did I…us…" I couldn't even get the words out right before my hand clapped over my mouth.

"_Shit!_ Doll! Wait…" I heard him call out as I made a mad dash for the convenient store, hoping and praying the bathrooms inside were decent.

Either our exhaustion was seriously taking a toll on our emotions, or things had just gotten a hell of a lot more fucked up.

**EPOV**

What the fucking hell had just happened?

How the hell had I _let _this happen?!

One second, everything with Bella and I had been fine.

Then I'd gotten that fucking brilliant idea in my head to call Emmett, and while I now found myself glad to have done it, I hated that it had ruined our night.

Had I not have called him, it wouldn't have fucked with my head and started the chain of events that led to the tears that shone in Bella's eyes tonight as she fled from the damn car.

I seriously hoped and prayed that she didn't really believe that I'd been forced into falling for or being with her in any way because that couldn't have been any further from the truth.

In all honesty, I was a damn fool for bringing up such a deep and sensitive issue during a time when we were both so tired and emotionally drained. She took it for more than it was, and I probably put more feeling into my words than was necessary.

I knew from the minute I started the conversation about letting me apologize for shit that I'd made a mistake. Not that we didn't need to have the conversation just that my timing was off.

And the fact that I'd lashed out at her hadn't helped. Granted, I was in a really bad place mentally, but my girl had been an angel for me and all the shit I'd been through; she was the last person in the world that I wanted to take my frustration out on.

The issue with my brother was something else entirely.

Fuck.

My head was so goddamned fucked up right now that I wasn't sure I was ever going to be able to see my way out of the muddled mess it was in.

"Edward!" Charlie shouted, shaking me out of me thoughts.

"Shit, yeah?"

"What the hell happened? Why'd Bells run off like that?"

"I…I need to go after her…"

"No, son. What you need to do is tell me what the fucking hell happened. And do it before she gets back."

"Can you promise me you aren't going to knock the shit out of me?" I questioned, stepping out of the car and walking with him over to the bushes by the building to light up a smoke.

With an arched brow, he grabbed a smoke from me and lit up. "You telling me that I might want to?"

"I didn't mean to upset her, Charlie. She'd gotten off the phone with you and I asked her a question. It was like, all of a sudden, instead of being open, she was treating me like fucking glass. I told her as much and then it somehow opened me up to talk about how I felt like I didn't have control of anything anymore."

"Ah shit, I think I see where this is going. Man, you really have a way with words, don't you, son? I thought you just liked me, but apparently, you really love pissing my baby girl off too. So what was it that sent her running?"

"That's just it, Charlie. I didn't fucking say anything! She just started assuming, and from what I gathered from her last bit of jumbled words, she's thinking that I felt forced into being _with_…"

"Fucking hell. Okay, here's what's going to happen, son. You're riding with me for the rest of the way to Louisiana. I think you and Bells need a bit of a break from each other and don't…"

"You're fucking insane! There's no way in hell I'm agreeing to that! The rest of the way to the hotel tonight? Maybe. But to Louisiana? Fuck…"

Suddenly, I was nose to nose with Charlie fucking Swan, his 'stace fucking grazing my upper lip and making my damn cock want to go concave and never come the fuck out again. "Don't you dare even think about arguing with me, son. My Bells is the best damn thing to happen to you and we both know it, just as I now know you're the best thing to ever happen to her, whether you believe that or not. If you want to keep things that way, you've got to let the two of you breathe. Right now, emotions are running high and have been for too fucking long." With that said, he backed up a step. And thank fuck for that. "She needs some time to come to grips with all that's transpired. Same as you."

"Charlie, I'm not sharing a goddamn bed with you," I growled defiantly, stubbing out my cigarette.

"Fine. You can sleep on the fucking floor for all I care, but you aren't going near her room. That'll only make for more drama. Trust me, do things your way and you'll become a bitch by the end of this trip. Do things my way, and you just might make it to Louisiana a man."

"You mean, do things your way and make it there a man that is too chicken shit to stand up to his own daughter about his right to smoke a damn cigarette?" I smarted off, cocking a brow.

"Shut the fuck up," Charlie laughed, tossing his butt to the ground. "She's coming. I'll give you a second to make it as right as you can and make her aware of the change. I mean it, asshole, you're driving with me the rest of the way."

I didn't even have time to blink between the time Charlie darted off and Bella reappeared in his place, her eyes red and slightly swollen as she looked at me like a deer caught in the headlights.

What I needed to do wasn't even a question in that moment.

I quickly closed the distance that separated us and pulled her into my arms, pressing my lips firmly to the side of her head, holding her close for several minutes.

Her body felt odd within my arms though. One minute it was soft and molding, the next it was tense and stiff. It was obvious that she was still warring with herself and didn't know where my head was at and it was time that I fix that.

I pulled away, holding her face firmly in my hands and locking eyes with her, stroking my thumbs across the apple of her cheeks. "Doll, I know that I said some things back there that probably confused the hell out of you, and you were wrong about a lot of things, but Bella, that last thing you said..._NO_. I love you, baby. You hear me?" I asked her softly, looking into her eyes with as much love as I could muster. "_I love you._ And I'm sorry that I ever made you believe that I had insinuated otherwise," I whispered to her just as she smiled and pulled me down to her for a deep, telling kiss.

When we finally came up for air, she shook her head and put some distance between us, completely throwing me for a loop.

"Eddie, this…this isn't right. We shouldn't be fighting. You shouldn't be having to explain and console me…not when you've got all this shit going on with Emmett and…"

"I'm riding with Charlie the rest of the way to Louisiana, Doll."

Okay, so maybe I could have found a better way to throw that out there.

Her jaw dropped and her eyes narrowed. "I'm sorry. What?"

"It wasn't my idea. And…at first, I was against it, but now, I think it's the right choice. You and I, maybe we need some space just to clear our heads a bit. I'm wound up so tight from all the shit that's happened, Doll, that I feel I could explode at any moment and I've already lashed out at you once. I don't want to do that again and if I continue to ride with you…"

"I'll push you," she whispered almost inaudibly.

"Bella, that's not what I was getting at," I sighed.

"I know that, Edward, but it's true. I push you to talk about things a lot of the time. I would have inevitably pushed you to talk at some point and it would have would up badly. What about tonight, baby?"

I could hear just from the sound of her voice that she was afraid of what I would say in regard to the room accommodations.

"Charlie says I'm sleeping on the fucking floor in his room, but as much as I think you and I need space, I don't see how sleeping apart and being kept awake by nightmares will benefit either one of us, so I dare him to try tonight."

"Can I at least text you in the car?" she asked.

"Are you fucking pouting?" I questioned, laughing at the adorable expression on her face.

"No," she scoffed and looked away.

"Yes, you were," I grinned. "And I guess you can a little, but not much, Bella. Charlie will fucking kill me if you get in an accident because you're texting my dumb ass."

"No, you mean he'll kill you if he I have an accident texting _back_ your dumb ass," she quipped, kissing my chin and hugging me close to her, eliciting a laugh to burst from my chest. "I don't want to drive by myself," she whined, "I'm going to be so freaking bored."

"Then I'll call you, beautiful, but I'm sure Charlie is going to talk my fucking ear off."

"Oh, of that you can be sure, and I don't envy you _at all. _Good luck," she laughed just as the horn from Charlie's car sounded off.

"Edward, don't make me force your scrawny ass into this fucking car!" he shouted.

"You better go, Eddie," Bella said, giving me a shove.

"Shit, you think I'm afraid of him?"

"You telling me you're not?" she asked, arching her brow and crossing her arms over her chest.

"Doll, trust me, at this point, I'm sure that old geezer is all fucking bark and no…"

_Motherfucker! _I winced as who I could only assume was Charlie gripped a fistful of my hair and jerked me backward. "Wanna rephrase that last part, son?"

"What the fuck, man?!"

"Tell Bells bye for now and get in the goddamn car, shithead," he gruffed, shoving me forward.

"Okay, damn!" I hollered, holding my hands up in surrender and looking at Bella with wide eyes. "You think you coulda warned me?" I mouthed to her.

She shook her head with a brilliant smile and pulled me into her arms, wrapping them tightly around my neck.

"Bells, you better start telling him bye 'cause I'm countin' and you've got forty-five seconds," Charlie barked.

"Dad, shut the hell up, and chill out," she chastised.

"Don't leave me with him, Doll, please…I can tell, this won't bode well for me," I pleaded with her.

"Pussy," Charlie chuckled, to which I turned my head and glared.

"You'll be fine, Edward. Just threaten to tell him about our bedroom activities," she winked, leaning forward and pressing her lips against mine firmly.

When she pulled away, her teeth lightly nipping at my bottom lip, I could feel my eyes roll into the back of my head and other parts of me awaken. "I'm sorry about what happened earlier in the car, Doll, really. It wasn't you. It was just me taking shit out on you, but I promise you, I won't do that again. I'm going to get stuff straightened out in my head, well as much as I can anyway with Andy Griffith there…"

_THWACK! _"I heard that, asshole."

_Dammit! _"Charlie, I swear, the next time you hit me, I don't give a damn if you're Bella's Dad, Chief of Police or the fucking President of the United States, I'll fucking hit your ass back."

"Edward, quit taunting him," Bella sighed, pulling me tighter against her and placing her hand against my cheek, forcing my face back to hers. "Kiss me, and I mean _really _fucking kiss me bye and get your ass in his car so we can shut him the fuck up and get to the hotel because I'm fucking tired and just ready for today to end."

Seeing the worry lines around her eyes saddened me. I'd fucking put them there.

I shook my head and, instead of arguing, took her in a searing kiss, savoring as much of her as I could to last the next several hours.

"Cullen, it better be because your jeans don't fit you properly that you've got a fucking tent pitched right now," Charlie growled beside me.

Grumbling under her breath, Bella pulled me further into her, fisting her hands in my hair for a moment longer before whispering her lover for me into my ear and against my lips.

"Was that really necessary, Bells?"

"What is your damn problem, Dad?"

"You two need some space, and you know it."

"Oh really?"

"You going to tell me I'm wrong?" he barked back at her. "And I suppose next you're going to tell me that you and Edward didn't have a fight before pulling into this station?"

Not wanting to see the look in Bella's eyes as Charlie let her know that I'd filled him in, I ducked down into his car. This was going to be one hell of a long drive ahead.

"So," Charlie started as he climbed in and stuck the key in the ignition. "You may have avoided the topic with Barbarella over there, but I'm another story, son. This thing with Emmett is going to follow you around until you open up and get it over with. Now, out with it."

Fuck my life.

**The next update will be up as soon as possible. **

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**As always, thanks for the reviews, and leave some love!**

**T**


	43. Chapter 41

**I won't keep you...**

**See you ladies the bottom!**

_Not wanting to see the look in Bella's eyes as Charlie let her know that I'd filled him in, I ducked down into his car. This was going to be one hell of a long drive ahead._

"_So," Charlie started as he climbed in and stuck the key in the ignition. "You may have avoided the topic with Barbarella over there, but I'm another story, son. This thing with Emmett is going to follow you around until you open up and get it over with. Now, out with it."_

_Fuck my life._

**BPOV**

I stood in my spot, watching as Charlie slid into his cruiser. Edward's eyes avoided me, and I knew why.

I felt like shit.

I shouldn't have reacted and had a meltdown the way that I had, but it happened, and there was nothing I could do about it now. I only meant to talk to Edward, hoped that he'd willingly bring up the feelings he had in regard to what had been said over the phone with Emmett himself, but instead, he'd lashed out, and I'd taken the brunt of it.

But it was okay; I was okay.

Now, anyway.

I should have just taken it and remained calm like the strong girlfriend I had been for him all along, but no. I'd fucking freaked out, gone mental and turned the goddamn tables and, somehow, now, instead of us focusing on Edward, the one in need of consoling and help, he was worrying about my dumbass.

What we all needed was a good night's sleep and a week of pure peace; a week with _no _incidences, no phone calls, and no arguments.

And what Edward needed most right now from us was the chance to clear his head and have time to himself. To feel free and comfortable enough to tell us when he needed fucking space, and as it was, we were throwing our promises of our trustworthiness in his fucking face.

Well, that shit stopped now.

I sucked in a breath and walked toward the passenger side of the cruiser, tapping my knuckles against the glass.

Charlie scowled furiously from the driver's seat as Edward raised a brow at me through the now lowered window.

"Bells, you've got about…"

"Dad, shut the hell up. Edward, baby, get out of the fucking car," I told him firmly.

"Doll, it's not a good idea. Charlie's ri…"

I rolled my eyes and held out the keys to him. "I know he is. He just has the arrangements wrong. You said that you need to clear your head…that you need to think over all that's happened, and that's completely understandable. But you can't do that with Dad and I hovering over you, smothering you the way we have been, and before you say it, we have. So, here, take the keys. I'll ride with this old geezer. You can follow us to Louisiana and really drive in peace, okay?"

Edward's eyes softened as he stepped out of the car. Charlie harrumphed in the driver's seat comically.

Yeah, driving alone with him was going to be a fucking field day. Of that I was sure.

"Hey, Charlie? Bella and I need to switch a few of the meds around in our bags. Just give us a second. This switch is okay with you, yeah?" he questioned, taking hold of my hand and leaning down to meet Charlie's eyes through the window. "Cause...uh, your mustache is twitching, man."

"Dammit, Bells, do you have to tell everyone about that shit?"

"Sorry, Dad, it's your calling card."

"We're good, son. Just get your head clear as you can, okay? Call us if you need to stop or anything, all right?"

"You mean, call you if I have the urge to pop a feel?"

Okay, apparently, my boyfriend had a goddamn death wish if he was already brave enough to talk to Charlie like that.

"Bells…get this asshole out of my sight before I unload my glock in his ass," he growled, which made Edward erupt in hearty laughter and jerk me behind him toward the Camaro parked across the lot.

As soon as we got to the car, Edward swept me up in a fierce hug, kissing my neck before unlocking the trunk and pulling his duffel bag out. "What made you do that?" he asked.

"Charlie started in on you the second he got in the fucking car, didn't he?"

"Yeah," he sighed heavily, raking a hand through his disheveled hair as I watched in awe of it, my throat suddenly parched.

"If you ever put scissors to that hair of yours, I'll have your balls, you hear me?"

With a smirk worthy of bringing me to my knees, Edward winked at me and leaned in, kissing my cheek.

"This is the longest it's ever been, Doll, so if you don't want me to cut it, you're going to have to do something for me in return. Text me while we drive. We'll come up with something in terms of a deal. Really, though, thank you for this, Bella. I hate that this happened because I honestly was having a fucking blast with you…just us out on the road in this fucking bad ass car…I just…I wasn't expecting all this shit to happen…"

"Baby, I get it. Really. It's okay. All I care about is you, all right? Just take this time to think about everything. If when we get to the hotel, you've decided that you don't want to do Louisiana, then I'll tell Charlie and we'll figure something else out. I mean it, Edward. I won't fucking force you into something you don't want, okay? This is your life, and I want you to want this just as well, handsome."

"Oh, come on…can't you come up with other names? I'm fine with baby, but handsome is for old-fashioned, upstanding, model citizen dumbasses…and well, you've already played the beautiful card and I'm not even fucking going there again…"

"What about sexy? Or fuckhot? Are those better? Or do you prefer God?" I asked, my brow arched sarcastically, showing how unamused I was.

"Shit, I'm annoying you; I love you, Doll," he grinned sexily, pecking my lips as he dropped my pill bottle into my hand.

With a shake of my head, I walked away and reached into the car to grab my purse, leaving him his Clonidine in the cup holder.

When I turned back around, he was leaning against the back of the car, legs crossed at the ankles and arms crossed over his chest, hair gently blowing with the breeze.

"Don't let him drive you too crazy, Doll," he mumbled, his hand reaching out to gently pinch my hip.

"I can't promise anything; though, you owe me one. I'm doing this all for you, you know," I grinned. "I just wish I'd have at least gotten to feel your ever talented fingers fuck me while I drove," I whispered against his lips, nipping at his chin before walking away.

And when I was no more than two steps away, his hand caught my wrist and ripped me back forcefully, his body mindful of mine, sure not inflict any pain to my side, as his mouth crashed down upon mine with renewed vigor, which left me gasping for breath when he pulled away.

"Don't ever say shit like that and then walk away from me, Doll," he rasped. "And another thing…the next time you get in a car with me, you'll feel that and a fucking hell of a lot more."

"That a promise, Cullen?" I questioned as I walked backward toward Charlie's cruiser.

Then I thought of something and hurriedly jogged back to a very confused Edward, handing him my phone.

"What the hell are you doing?" he asked, laughing. "Charlie looks ready to spit fire."

"You don't have a phone. If we're going to call and text, you need one, genius. Keep mine. I'll use his. Love you!"

With that, I hurriedly turned and ran.

When I finally slid into the car, Charlie turned his eyes on me and glared.

"Don't even start with me, Dad."

"The next time you two say to give you a minute, the least you could do is leave me a pack of cigarettes or a six pack of fucking beer. A minute for you two is a damn hour. What the hell were you two doing over there? Do you have any concept at all of the word 'space'?"

Oh, for the love of God!

"We were apologizing and smoothing things out a bit. And it doesn't help that you were starting in on him the second you got in the damn car, you know. That, and I gave him my phone to keep with him so he has a way to call us, hence the reason I'll be using your phone for the duration of the drive."

"Aw shit, you aren't gonna be sexting and doing any of that kind of crap on my ph…"

I couldn't help it, I snorted out a laugh. "Did…did you just actually say 'sexting', Dad?"

"Bells, I may be old, but I'm not dead. I mean it, you can use my phone, but I don't want to find any of that shit on there. So, how is he?"

"I think he'll be okay. At least I hope he will. This whole thing with Emmett really threw him for a big loop, so it's going to take him some time, and I don't think it's something he's going to want to talk about right away either."

Charlie sighed as we merged off the service road onto the interstate again. "I wasn't trying to make things harder for the boy, you know that, but he's carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, Bells. I know you two are close; that he trusts you and has opened up some, but honestly, how much of that has he done lately? I mean about the stuff that really matters?"

Apparently, I really needed to have this talk with Charlie because he was under the wrong impression about our relationship.

"Dad, Edward tells me everything, and I mean _everything._ He doesn't just keep it all bottled in. It may come across that way to you, but I promise, it's not like that. Right now, he's dealing with all the shit regarding Emmett and no, we haven't talked about it yet, but this is how he works. Everything is going to be okay. He just needs some time to get his thoughts together and make as much sense of this mess as he can before talking about it. One thing that I want you to understand is that he and I…we're each other's sounding board, okay? So, no matter how bad things get or how much it seems we're holding in, you can rest assured that we aren't and we're good, all right?"

"Well, damn," he huffed, barking out half a laugh as he started reaching for something in the console. "Shit."

"If you're looking for the cigarettes that Edward gave you, I ganked them earlier when neither of you were paying attention. You know, for a Police Chief and a criminal with Edward's experience, you'd think that you could hide the hand off of something like that with ease. Y'all are pathetic," I laughed, pulling the pack from my purse and handing it over to him as he grinned at me brightly. "Don't get the wrong idea, old man. I still don't like it."

"So, just what in the hell is the story between you two, Bells? When you left me back home, you were closed off to anyone you didn't fucking know. And next thing I know, all I hear about when I talk to you is Edward, and I'm getting pictures of you two fucking baking together...How the hell did you crack his shell and more importantly, how in God's name did he get through yours?"

"Oh come on, Dad. Do I really need to spell the connection out for you? It's been there; it's always been there…since we were kids, and you know it. I think that speaks for itself. But our reunion was a bit different. His foot bears the scar to prove how bad that night started out."

"_Scar?_ Jesus, Bells! You scarred the man on the first night that you saw him after fifteen years?!"

"What the fucking hell? Why are you automatically assuming it was my fault?! I didn't scar him! The dumbass did it to himself!"

Laughing boisterously, Charlie rubbed his hand roughly over his face, his other hand holding the cigarette and the steering wheel steady. "Do I even want to know?"

"Dropped a lit cigarette on his bare foot when I revealed who I was. Rendered him stupid I guess. Dumbass stood there while it burnt through his foot until I snapped him out of it. Like you, he blamed me for it. Fuckers."

"You know, that mouth of yours is getting a bit out of hand, girl," he grumbled. "You're gonna have to work on that shit."

"That's the pot calling the kettle fucking black, old man. This mouth? I got it from you so unless you want to start attending family therapy sessions in attempt to fix it, I suggest you shut the fuck up with that noise."

"I swear to God I raised you better than this. Where the hell did I go wrong, Bells?"

Grinning from ear to ear, I elbowed him and plucked a cigarette from the pack myself, lighting up and rolling down the window. "You love me and you know it, old man," I teased, grabbing his phone from the rubber mat on the dash and opening a text window.

"That's because I have no choice in the matter. You're more trouble than you're worth, you know that? One of these days, you'll put my ass in an early grave."

"Oh, will you get off that damn high horse of yours? You act like I'm to blame for all of your health issues. I may be the cause of your stress, but you know damn good and well that your eating habits and the damn smoking isn't doing you any good. Now, how the hell did we go from talking about me and Edward reuniting and my telling of that story, to you talking about how much hell I've brought into your life?"

As he glanced over at me, I tapped out a quick message to Edward, and took a picture of the cig in my hand, attaching it to the text.

**Having a smoke with a crabby old man who's now blaming me for his current health crisis. Good thing you bought him those two packs of smokes, huh?—Doll**

I set the phone down on my leg, screen up, not caring if Charlie saw the incoming text when it came or not.

"What did you just do?"

"I'm not there to give him hell, so I'm making him sweat a little bit."

"Oh hell, about what?"

"The two packs of smokes that he doesn't know I know he bought you, remember?"

Just then, the text came in and when Charlie leaned over and read the screen, he burst into laughter, choking on the drag he'd just inhaled.

**Shit! How long have you known?—E**

I didn't answer him immediately, knowing it would drive him crazy.

"So, you tell the boy that you want him to drive in peace and clear his head, then you go and do that shit to him? What the hell is wrong with you, girl? And you're going to sit there and tell me that you aren't to blame for my fucking health issues? My ass!"

"Dad, I swear, I'll ram this damn cigarette in your eye if you don't shut the hell up and quit blaming me for shit. Stop griping at me! It's bad enough that you actually went so far as to bring up Edward and I 'bumping uglies' in Olive Garden of all places."

"Yeah, okay, I'll admit, that was a little far, but you can't tell me that the little bastard didn't overstep by insinuating that I needed to get…"

I immediately threw my hands over my ears and glanced down to the phone which had illuminated, not wanting to hear the rest of what he was about to say.

**Doll? How fucking long?—E**

**Long enough. Wish like hell there was something I could give him to shut him the fuck up.—Doll**

"He was right, you know? Despite how much it turns my damn stomach, he was right. There's got to be fucking cobwebs, mold and shit growing down there by now, right?"

"Hardy fucking har, Bells."

**You could always put a few of your ibuprofen pills on your tongue.—E**

I winced and choked on my cigarette both at the same time.

**Okay, think about what you just fucking said, asshole. Fucking EW! The only one I want taking ANYTHING off my tongue is YOU!—Doll**

**Erase the last couple of texts. I'm now scrubbing my fucking brain with bleach. I encourage you to do the same. WTF is wrong with my brain?—Your Titched BF**

I couldn't help but laugh at him.

"What the hell are you two talking about over there?"

"Nothing. So, you said that of all the times that you talked to Carlisle over the years, he not once ever mentioned Edward?"

"Ah," he sighed heavily, flicking the butt of his cigarette out the window. "Bells, he mentioned Edward years ago, but it was only once or twice when the boy was still in college. Things were still going great and nothing was amiss with anything at that point. Hell, I don't even think he knew about Esme and Masen back then."

"Why didn't you ever say anything to me?"

"About what? Edward? Or the Cullens in general?"

"The Cullens? Edward? Dad, you know that I've never blamed you for how our life has turned out, but you know how much they meant to me as a kid, and I don't know, maybe you didn't know, but Edward was like my best friend. I never kept in touch with him when we left…"

"Yeah, since you brought that little point up, mind telling me why that was? If you two were so close, why the hell didn't you two kids write or call?"

"It's complicated. It was a big misunderstanding. He thought he was doing right by me, and I thought he was mad at me. Alice never mentioned him, and she never mentioned me."

"Well, whatever the reasons and in any case, yes, I knew how close you two were. Esme, Carlisle, and I all saw it blossoming right before we moved. Shit, Bells, the only reason I never mentioned any of it was because I didn't want to upset you. I wanted you to be able to settle in Louisiana without the constant reminder of what you'd been forced to leave behind in Forks. I didn't know if and when I'd ever be able to bring you back, girl. And I sure as hell never thought that when and if you ever did make it back that this was the shit that you'd find."

"Dad, please, I know that you wanted better for me, and I know that Edwar…"

"Bells," he started, his voice rough as his hand reached over and took hold of mine. "That boy has been through it all, and he's seen things I can't even begin to fathom, but I look at him, and instead of seeing a waste, and a loser, which I know is what you fear I'll see…I see hope. I see someone inside of that man that's worthy. Someone worthy of not only my baby girl, but someone that I believe will be able to overcome all of this shit that life has thrown at him and make it back on top. I'm telling you now, Bells, the man upstairs isn't done with that boy, not by a long shot, and I can't think of anyone that I'd rather see you with."

"Really? Even with all of the shit that surrounds us right now?" I asked, tears welling up in my eyes.

"Especially right now. I know the two of you are stressed and that's the main cause for needing space at the moment, but honestly, and I swear, if you tell him this, I'll slap that damn belt on the both of you faster than you can blink; I had to separate you two because the damn googly eyes and tonsil hockey shit was about to drive me up the goddamn wall. I'm telling you, birth control is a fucking blessing because if it weren't for that, your ass would be pregnant by now. Mark my words."

Furrowing my brow and wanting to jack with him, I leaned forward, narrowing my eyes and started messing with his hair.

"Wh…what are you doing?"

"I—is that a gray hair?"

Suddenly, he was laughing and batting my hand away from his hand.

"You better knock that shit off."

Happier than I'd felt in quite some time, I grabbed the phone from my lap and started tapping.

**I love you so fucking much, Edward Cullen—Doll**

Not a minute passed before the screen lit back up.

**Who are you? What have you done with my evil gf? And WTH are you two talking about in there? Should I be worried?—E**

_Nope, you shouldn't be worried, baby, not at all…_I grinned, smiling to myself.

**Don't you just LOVE Charlie?! Seriously, he needs his own damn fic...**

**So, I know it was a bit shorter, but the next will be longer and in Edward's POV ;D**

**Also, I know it's not safe to text and drive and I advise against it, so don't take this to mean that I'm promoting it by any means! However, somethings just couldn't be talked about with Charlie listening in LOL!**

**I'm submitting an outtake for this to the Fandom4Oklahoma Fundraiser. It's called Copper & Bitty, and it will take us back to Edward and Bella, and their childhood ;) If you want a peek, come donate!**

**As for what I'm reading:**

**Penalty Shot by Edward's Eternal**

**In Pursuit by Sarge's Girls**

**Down Home by MrsSpaceCowboy**

**Misguided Love by XxxKittyMasenxxX**

**After Jane Died by beegurl13**

**Contractually Bound by LyricalKris**

**As always, leave me some love, girls!**

**T**


	44. Chapter 42

**I know ... It's been FOREVER since I was able to post an update! **

**I apologize for having kept you all waiting for so long!**

**Please check out my AN at the bottom :)**

**THANK YOU to DaisyCrazy & Je-Suis-b for making it all pretteh!**

**Without further ado...**

* * *

><p>-Last chapter was in BPOV<p>

"_I'm telling you now, Bells, the man upstairs isn't done with that boy, not by a long shot, and I can't think of anyone that I'd rather see you with."_

"_Really? Even with all of the shit that surrounds us right now?" I asked, tears welling up in my eyes._

"_Especially right now. I know the two of you are stressed and that's the main cause for needing space at the moment, but honestly, and I swear, if you tell him this, I'll slap that damn belt on the both of you faster than you can blink; I had to separate you two because the damn googly eyes and tonsil hockey shit was about to drive me up the goddamn wall. I'm telling you, birth control is a fucking blessing because if it weren't for that, your ass would be pregnant by now. Mark my words."_

_Furrowing my brow and wanting to jack with him, I leaned forward, narrowing my eyes and started messing with his hair._

"_Wh…what are you doing?"_

"_I—is that a gray hair?"_

_Suddenly, he was laughing and batting my hand away from his hand._

"_You better knock that shit off."_

_Happier than I'd felt in quite some time, I grabbed the phone from my lap and started tapping._

_**I love you so fucking much, Edward Cullen—Doll**_

_Not a minute passed before the screen lit back up._

_**Who are you? What have you done with my evil gf? And WTH are you two talking about in there? Should I be worried?—E**_

**EPOV**

Fuck, I missed Bella already.

Was that bad?

We'd only been separated for a total of two hours now, but—while I'd spent much of that time thinking—I was fucking lonely as all hell.

The texting back and forth had quit right after her enthusiastic declaration of love. I'd texted her back, but after going forty-five minutes without a response, I just took it to mean that she was caught up in conversation with Charlie—conversation I was sure to be fucking hearing about later.

The time alone was meant to give me space. Problem was, I wasn't even entirely sure space was what I fucking needed, not when I felt this fucking anxious being by myself. I wanted … _needed _an ear, someone to bounce my thoughts off of, but given the way I'd snapped at Bella hours ago …

Yeah, I know. I needed to suck the shit up and deal with my problems before I wound up hurting either of us any more than I already had.

I wasn't dumb enough to believe she'd actually hold it against me; she'd more than proven anything I said in anger or as a result of the bullshit mulling in my head would be forgiven. But that's where my frustration laid.

There was no excuse. No reason why she should have to take the shit I was dishing out. Withdrawals, family drama, inner turmoil … I didn't want her continuing to push stuff aside just because she felt that I deserved to be cut a little slack.

I wasn't sure when, but somehow, somewhere along the way, I had begun to feel a sense of pity coming from her and Charlie. I knew it was wrong and completely off base with how they felt, but it wasn't something I could help.

I wasn't lying when I told her I wanted to be able to apologize when I needed to; to make right my wrongs. Having that stripped from me was just one more thing for me to add to the list of shit I'd had robbed from me.

And in saying that, the anger within me only intensified because my goddamned head was throwing her and Charlie into the same fucked up pile with that heap of assholes I'd once thought to be my family.

Everything was so damned screwed up, and the more I thought about shit, the more lost I became.

The talk with Emmett plagued my mind, and as pathetic as it sounds, I couldn't make heads or tails out of anything. He'd said he loved me; he'd called me his brother, his blood. Said he was sorry, and was doing everything under the sun to prove to me that he was on my fucking side, so why the motherfuck was I having so much fucking trouble believing him? Why was the only thing running through my mind the fact I wanted to hear Bella tell me it would be okay and everything would work itself out?

Shit, I knew the answer even as I asked myself the question.

I'd become dependent on her. I'd grown to need her like a fucking second skin.

Christ, I _loved _her.

While the words had long since been declared and spoken, and the feelings already realized, I'd never truly taken the time to sit back and analyze every damn aspect of our relationship like I was doing now.

I couldn't do any of this shit without her. So, how the fuck was I supposed to reconcile that with the other issues I was having? There was only one way; I needed to talk to her. We had to fix it, and I couldn't … no, I _wouldn't _do that shit over the phone. I wanted her beside me. I wasn't going another fucking minute without the comfort and peace her mere presence offered me. That and I was positive once she and I resolved the problem I was having, I'd be kissing the ever loving fuck out of her.

It was how we worked.

Reaching down to the cup holder, I pulled up Charlie's name on her phone and hit the call button.

"Hey, baby," Bella's soft voice whispered as it soothed and wrapped around me like a damned blanket.

I thought I was fucking fine. Hell no. Instead of speaking, a strangled whimper of some sort passed my lips.

"Edward?" she asked, her voice worried.

"Doll, I-I can't fucking do this. I need you, Bella."

I listened as she released a choppy breath and the faint sound of a sniffle echoed over the line. "Hold on, baby; I'll be right there. Here's Dad."

I sighed as she passed the phone off. "Edward, son, what's wrong?" Charlie's concerned voice echoed over the line.

"I need her with _me_, Charlie. I can't do this shit without her. I'm going fucking crazy in here by myself, and I was a damned fool for ever letting you convince me that space was a good idea. I can't be apart from her. She, Bella … she's," I started, becoming choked up as I spoke.

"Hey, hey, hey," he chanted. "It's all right. Just pull over to the shoulder up ahead, okay?"

"Yeah, okay. Thanks, Charlie," I mumbled with a staggered breath as I pulled over. I looked in my rearview mirror, watching as Charlie's cruiser came up and slowly began to pull in behind me. My hands shook violently as I tried to get myself under control. My need for Bella, to be close to her and feel her arms around me, was stronger than it had ever been.

Stronger even then when I'd been at my fucking weakest o.d'ing on the goddamned pills the night I almost kissed my life goodbye. It sounds ridiculous, even to me, as it _had _only been two hours. Why the hell it was so fucking intense right now confounded me but I was gonna let it go. I didn't care about the why's and how's because the truth of the matter was a shit ton of the shit between Bella and I didn't exactly make sense. Most of it made no fucking sense at all.

With a ragged breath, I stepped out of the car, slamming the door shut behind me and instantly shoved my hand into my fucking hair; it had never been this goddamn long. It's a good thing I love Bella as much as I do because otherwise I'd be looking to have the shit cut.

As soon as Charlie put the car in park, Bella was out the fucking door. She stopped short, staring at me with worry in her eyes as I pulled at the ends of my hair.

I stood still for a split second before I closed the distance between us and wrapped my arms tightly around her, burying my face in the crook of her neck.

One of her hands went to the back of my neck, threading through my hair while the other moved around my back and up over my shoulder.

"Jesus, Edward … baby, you're shaking," she whispered into my ear.

"I know. I'm sorry, I just couldn't be in that fucking car without you another minute, Bella."

"Thank God for that," she laughed softly, rubbing at my back and moving to press her lips to my neck at the spot behind my ear. "I was already plotting ways to kill the old man in his sleep."

Just hearing how she'd taken my state of anxiety and come back with her usual humor brightened my shitty mood and caused me to chuckle into her shoulder before lifting my head.

Our eyes locked, and before I could lean in to kiss her or even utter a single word, Charlie made himself known.

"All right you two, listen up: I know that you probably need a minute, and given my experience with what you call a minute, I'm going to head on up the road to the hotel. It's about another hour and a half ahead. You two stay here for a minute and sort out what you need to before you hop back on the road and just … meet me at the Holiday Inn in Boise. I'll leave the key to your room at the front desk since it's obvious you ain't stayin' with me like we agreed, son."

"Charlie, I'm sorry, I thought I cou…" I began, but he held out his hand in a motion to stop me short and shook his head.

"No need, Edward. Been there, done that, and good luck with that shit. You kids be careful, and Bells, call me when y'all get back on the road so I'll have an idea of when to expect you."

Bella nodded and slung her arms around my waist, pulling me in a bit more.

"Oh wait, Doll, you need your purse. Your pills are in there," I reminded her as I noticed it wasn't slung over her shoulder.

She softly smiled and brushed her lips against mine before pulling away and jogging back to his cruiser. Charlie stopped her on her way back and I watched as she got caught up in a quiet conversation with him. Who the fuck knew what it was about; I was sure I'd hear all about it as soon as he was gone.

When Bella came back, I was leaning against the front end of the car, arms crossed, and had cut the engine, not wanting to burn gas. She set her purse inside and came around, kicking at the loose gravel on the shoulder of the road.

"Get the hell over here, woman. You're killing me," I groaned impatiently, as she was taking forever to come to me. She simply laughed and closed the distance. I rested my ass on the edge of the hood and spread my legs, pulling her between them. Almost instantly, her hands went into my hair and her head dropped down to rest against mine, our noses lightly brushing together.

"You wanna tell me what's going on inside that gorgeous head of yours?" she murmured, her fingers playing with my hair, weaving it in and out and in between.

With a slight brush of her lips to mine, I pressed further in, opening my mouth and closing around her bottom lip, savoring the sweet taste that was uniquely Bella. She pulled my face in closer, kissing me fiercely for only a brief moment and slowly pulled back.

"Mmmm," I hummed. "You mean other than the fact that the last two hours have been the longest damn hours of my fucking life?"

Her laugh against my lips brought a smile to my face. "Baby, you don't _know_ long until you spend time locked in a car with Charlie fucking Swan."

"That bad, hmm?" I asked with a smirk, rubbing my hands up and down her sides slowly as she continued to play with my damn hair

"You tell me yours, and I'll tell you mine," she murmured, stroking a finger down my cheek and along my jaw, ending on my chin. Then suddenly the softness in her face disappeared as she frowned. "Dammit, sorry, I don't mean to push …"

Fuck, I already knew what she was about to say, and I wasn't having it. "You're _not_," I told her firmly, moving my hands to trap her arms at her sides. "It's fine, and we're going to talk … in a minute. I just want to sit here with you for a while longer. That okay?"

"That depends," Bella smirked.

"On what?" I asked, barking out a laugh as a car blew past us, startling her just slightly and moving her to lean into me, fisting her hands in my shirt.

"On whether you plan on telling me how this cigarette trade-off between you and Charlie came about."

Aw shit. My head dropped to her chest as my shoulders shook with laughter. I was going to kick Charlie's ass for this shit the first chance I got. I knew … I fucking _knew _helping his ass out and buying him a couple of packs of cigarettes was going to come back to bite me in the ass.

"Did you really think I wasn't going to notice?" she laughed, releasing my shirt and moving her hands to play with my hair.

"I can't believe he fucking told you!"

"Eddie, he didn't _tell _me shit. I saw the hand off," she dead panned, looking me in the eye. Her lips quirked upward in the corner as she tried not to smile.

"You're amazing, you know that?" I mused, in awe of her logic. "You give him all this shit over his smoking—which I think is hilarious, by the way—and yet, you smoke like a goddamned freight train with me. Where do you two differ? What makes it okay for you and not for him?"

Oh, damn. Bella's eyes narrowed, fixating on me as her hands fisted my hair almost to the point of pain. "You conniving, two-faced little shit," she laughed, shoving my head away from her.

She wasn't yelling; instead, she was laughing. Thank God for that. "Hey, that's not fair!" I defended, pulling her closer to me by her hips. "I was just…"

I never got to finish my sentence. Bella's lips were locked back on mine as she kissed me. With her hands at either side of my neck, she held my mouth to hers.

"Mmmm," she hummed. "I love you; I wanna beat you, but I love you. You're right. I just give him shit because his health is bad enough."

"Babe," I rasped, sliding my mouth slowly up her neck, "he's not getting any fucking younger. Let him live his life."

"Fuck, keep doing that and I'll think about it," Bella groaned. I pressed a gentle kiss to the soft skin before pulling away and looking up at her with a smile. "Why'd you move?" she whined.

"You know what you could do to make him quit, right?" I asked her, arching a brow.

"Edward, I'm not fucking quitting. I can't. Especially not right now," she answered, looking down.

Fucking dammit, I knew everything she wasn't saying, but I wouldn't apologize for it; I'd done more than enough of that already and I knew if I tried apologizing for that shit again, Bella would stop me short. And I'd actually let her on that issue, too.

"Besides, I'm not quitting unless you do, and we both know there isn't a chance in hell of that happening any time soon," she laughed when I shook my head.

"So, he … Charlie's really okay with all of this?" I asked her as another car blew past.

"What do you mean?"

"The moving us down there after everything you did to get yourself settled; the shit going on now…"

"Ah, baby, listen to me," she whispered, sliding down just a bit until our eyes were level, "Charlie loves you, just as I do. He doesn't care what's happened and it doesn't matter which mountains he's got to move, whatever it takes to keep you and I safe, you can bet he's going to do it. He's not blaming you or holding any grudges for anything, if that's what you're really asking me."

I searched her eyes, looking desperately for any sign of dishonesty but I couldn't see any. I don't know why the fuck I was all of the sudden so damn worried about Charlie's approval. Or hell, maybe it wasn't really all that fast; maybe I'd actually been fearful and worried about it for a while and was just now putting true voice to it.

"Tell me what's going on, Edward," she pleaded, rubbing her hand across my cheek, her thumb brushing over my scruff. "You almost looked like you were having a damned panic attack when we got here."

"Panic, anxiety, call it what you want. I probably was, Doll. I just … I needed you. I wanted you. I told you over the phone, but I guess you didn't believe me," I mumbled, cutting my eyes to the side.

"No, I believed you; I'll always believe you. I just thought what you were feeling or saying was a reaction to something else. I didn't think it was the actual reason."

"You're fucking beautiful and sexy as hell, Doll, but you really _are_ clueless, aren't you?" I asked in wonderment.

"Baby, I …"

"Bella, I can't breathe without you. I thought I could drive by myself, thought the space was a good idea, and something you and I both needed. I was wrong; _so_ fucking wrong. The more I tried to think through stuff and get my mind sorted out, the more confused, and frustrated I became, and the more I wanted you with me. I'm so used to having you by my side now, and I can't imagine it any other way. I wanted to tell you everything going through my head. I needed you to help me sort through my shit surrounding the situation with Em, and I missed just fucking having you in the car beside me; being able to reach over and just hold your hand when I wanted, or leaning over to kiss you when I needed it. Or hell, simply hearing you tell me how much of an asshole I am because I won't let you suck me off in the car." That statement alone earned me a smile and a slap to the arm. "I'm sure it all sounds ridiculous and petty, probably downright pathetic to you, but Doll, I…"

Suddenly, I was knocked backward and Bella was on top of me on the hood of the fucking car, her hands buried in my hair and her mouth fused with mine. I brought my hand to the back of her neck, tangling in her hair to gain control as I kissed her back, passionately wrapping my tongue with hers at first and then gently slowing it down.

"God, you're frustrating the hell out of me," she hoarsely laughed into my mouth as I pressed a tender kiss to her lips and sat up, taking her with me.

"Sorry, Doll, but you and I both know that it was better to stop before we got too far. One, we're on the fucking interstate, and two, you aren't in any position for that right now; stop pushing it," I chastised her, arching my brow at her as I pulled her bottom lip from her teeth with my thumb.

"Well, I'm sorry! I can't help that I fucking want you; you're … you're fucking … AHHH!" Bella half-shouted out in irritation as she pulled away and started to pace in front of me a bit. "One minute, you're shaking and telling me you need me, the next you-you're kissing and rubbing all over me a-and then … _then _you bust out with that sweet and wonderful fucking speech a-and… _Jesus, Edward_! How the fuck am I supposed to react?!

She was turned on, sexually frustrated, and there wasn't shit we could do about it. Well there was, but we'd pretty much already fucking exhausted the other options, and right now, looking at Bella, I knew what she wanted and she wouldn't be willing to take anything short of my cock buried inside her, which wasn't possible for another six fucking weeks.

Lucky us.

"Babe, come here," I called out to her, offering an outstretched hand.

"Screw you," she barked out, still pacing as she shot a look at me over her shoulder. Her hands were braced right along the curve of her ass, and I could tell from the slight smirk on her lips that she wasn't really pissed at me; she was just on edge.

"Please," I asked her softly, giving her my signature grin and wink when she looked over in my direction.

"You're not fighting fair," she pouted, her shoulders slumping in defeat as she walked toward me.

"I'm not trying to fucking fight, Doll; I just want you to come lay with me in the back of the car so we can talk."

"Right." Bella's eyes glared at me, her brows raised to her hairline. "You know, 'cause we always _talk _when we lay together."

"Shit," I barked out a laugh, wrapping my arm tight around her shoulders, pulling her against me and kissing her temple. "Bella, I'm really not trying to tease you, babe—I _do_ want to talk. I just want to do it while being close to you, okay?"

"Edward?"

"What?"

"Shut up," she laughed, pressing her fingers to my lips and looping her arms around my neck in a warm hug. Her face buried in my neck, kissing the skin there. "I love you."

I hugged her tighter and breathed in the wonderful scent at the back of her neck, whispering my love for her into her ear.

After another minute—because I couldn't fucking wait any longer—I took her hand and pulled her with me into the backseat of the car, letting her get comfortable and nestle into my outstretched body; the narrow seat didn't allow for much room but with her on top of me, we didn't need much.

"Before you start, I'm making it known; you're going to have a hell of a time getting me off of you," Bella moaned. "I could so go to sleep right now … just like this, baby."

"If I knew Charlie wouldn't have my balls for it, and there was no chance of highway patrol stopping and giving us a ticket, I'd fucking go for it, Doll, believe me. You feeling okay?"

"I'm in heaven at the moment, so I'm good. Now … talk," she commanded, looking up at me, her hand scratching at my chest.

"First, I know I've already apologized, but I'm doing it again. I'm sorry for the way I snapped at you after I got off the phone with Emmett. You didn't deserve my anger; I didn't have anything else to bounce it off of and you just happened to be there."

"Apology accepted, and I know," she whispered, offering me a small smile. "I know I kind of pushed you…"

"That was just it, Doll. You didn't. Not that time; not at all. You were giving me exactly what I needed—or what we _thought_ I needed at the time—which was space; I lashed out. There wasn't anything you could do to stop it from happening, Bella."

"Do you know _why _you did?"

Her voice was nearly inaudible as she played with the fingers of my hand which rested just under her breast. I took in a deep breath, brushing my lips against the side of her head. This was so fucking complicated. How the hell I was going to explain this all to her and have it make sense, I had no damn clue.

"Yeah, I think so. I mean, I fucking hate the reasons, Bella. What the hell am I saying? There _is _no reason for it, but I have an idea of what caused it. I know part of it stemmed from my withdrawals and my fucking need for the damn pills; I'm not blind to the fact that I still crave the shit. My body won't let me forget, no matter how badly my heart and mind push it away. The other… Bella, all of this shit with Emmett … babe, I'm lost. I'm so," I began, my voice starting to break as I let my head fall away from hers to lean back against the far side of the seat, "so fucking _confused_. I don't know which way is up or down. What's true and what's not … Doll, I couldn't—and still can't—make sense of anything. I snapped under all the pressure. It became too goddamn much, but I can tell you one thing: I'll never separate from you like that again. Within an hour I was loathing myself. I needed you. I started thinking about shit, and you know me; I can't work through stuff in my head on my own."

"You don't think Em's being truthful?" Bella questioned, looking up at me with a little dip in her brow.

"I'm not sure, Doll. I don't know what to make of fucking anything anymore. They've fucked me over so much that I just… Bella, I don't know," I cracked, a traitorous tear sliding down my cheek.

"Baby, listen, I know this is hard as hell—and I never thought I'd say this either—but Em really is proving himself to be on your side. He's cooperating with the authorities, baby. He's doing what he can to make things right for you again, as right as he can make them on his part. No one's saying you have to forgive and forget, Edward; that's not what this is about, at all. But I think just the knowledge Em is _trying_ should count for something, don't you?"

"He's hurt me so goddamn much already … I-I don't k-know if I c-can," I cried, pleading as I searched her eyes, for what I didn't know.

Bella slightly shifted and softly placed her hands against my cheeks. "And that's _okay_. No one is saying you have to forgive him right away; for Christ's sake, baby, pain such as you've endured doesn't just go away. It's going to take some time for you to work through it all, but only you can make the decision. There's no time limit on this. I'm more worried about you and how you're feeling inside regarding things he said."

"Doll, I've spent so long with the belief I had no one. Hell, I fucking lived it! Until you. Em was no exception to the hate and judgmental bullshit that was thrown my way. He says he loves me, calls me his blood and I know he's doing all this shit to prove himself, Bella, but … I'm still angry. I'm want to punch and kick, throw shit, yell at him ... hug him. I'm so fucking confused about what to feel. And my nephews. Jesus, knowing I'm free to call them, free to see them … it's a feeling I can't even put into words. Fuck, just him _asking _me to call them confounds me."

Her eyes widened as she sat up a little straighter. "Have you called them?"

"No," I murmured, narrowing my eyes at her in confusion.

"Well, I think you need a bit of a pick-me-up, and it could be really good for you," she whispered, brushing her lips against mine.

"There's no telling what they've told the boys about me, Bella. What if they completely hate me?"

"Edward, as much as you love those boys, I don't think they could ever hate you. They're just children, and despite what Rose and Em have said about you in the past, I doubt they'd pass all of that on to their children," she answered, pushing her hand through my hair soothingly. "You'll never know until you try, baby, and I'm right here with you."

"You really think they'll talk to me?" I asked, completely unsure. Talking to my nephews was something I had come to accept would never happen again. I'd written it off as Emmett and Rose has at one time made it clear I was to have no part of their life.

Her forehead fell against mine as her nose lightly bumped mine. "I know they will," she breathed, placing her phone in my hand as I held it between us.

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><p><strong>AN: I'm going to try and keep this short, but you ladies all know how wordy my ass tends to get-sorry.**

**I've received several emails and PMs, even some reviews questioning the time that passes between my updates. **

**Unfortunately, I'm not as blessed as some when it comes to free time, and I don't mean to come off bitchy for that either, it's just the way it is.**

**I've been insanely busy working on various things in the fandom. I organized the Fandom4OK fundraiser with four other wonderful ladies; I've contributed to several others, which that in itself is time consuming because even though I'm not _updating_, I AM still writing full chapters. I'm now organizing and working the Fandom 4 Friends fundraiser/compilation. Yes, I WILL be submitting a piece to that as well. when You get a chance, please visit the site at:**

** www dot friends dot fandomcause dot info **

**I'll also be sure to post the information on my bio soon. **

**On top of this, I'm also participating in FAGE. Some of you know what that is, some don't LOL! I'm trying to be quick so I'll leave it at that.**

**With Tutus having finished up, I AM getting ready for a new fic to start posting, but I want to try and get some of my extra stuff out of the way first. **

**THAT'S JUST THE FIC STUFF, NOW FOR RL!**

**On the first of this month, I underwent surgery that knocked me off my feet for about a week. I'm a mother to a 4 year old son who just started Pre-k and a daughter who just began 4th grade. So, I don't have an unlimited amount of time on my hands to get these chapters out, no matter how much I wish I did. **

**Please don't misunderstand the intent behind my A/N or my explanation, but the question needed to be answered. I appreciate each and every one of my readers, and I don't like having to make you wait for updates any more than you do, but sometimes it cannot be helped. I can only hope you'll stick with me. With a bit of time freed up having finished Tutus, I plan to try and get the chapters out for this sooner, but please don't hold it against me if I fall a bit behind sometimes. **

**I might get busy but I won't abandon my fics. These WILL be finished!**

**T**


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